S.1 Ep.9: The Fiction of ”Me”

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
hello and welcome to episode nine of
dualistic unity i am playing the part of
andrew today
and i'm ray
that's it
not adding anything to that this time
because i think we're gonna do that
through the rest of this episode because
we do in each and every episode and i
did want to say quickly while we're on
on the topic how excited i am by the

(00:20):
response that we've been getting to our
last several podcast episodes and some
of the clips that we've been putting
online
we've been getting some great questions
i've written down a few we're going to
try and cover them today but just the
feedback's been fantastic and and of
course not all of it has been positive
and i just want to express even even the
people who have commented on our social

(00:41):
media posts with uh say a defensive
reaction or a misunderstanding i just
want to say thank you again for
participating because you're still
jumping into the conversation you're
giving us an opportunity to look at our
own point of view afresh and maybe to
answer some questions that other people
wanted to to look into deeper as well so
whether you agree with us or not we just
appreciate you being here

(01:02):
yeah certainly as great as it is to have
you know people more and more people
subscribing every week and saying how
much they're enjoying the conversations
it's
it's equally as great to get conflicting
viewpoints because it gives us something
to talk about and i you know when i have
a certain thing i'm working through or
an understanding or an insight when

(01:23):
people question it it just bolsters my
ability to express it in different ways
and there's always you know everyone has
a different perspective of how they see
things so no one's is the same and
everyone's coming from a different
viewpoint and different experiences so
it's awesome to get both sides of it for
sure
absolutely that said

(01:44):
please keep in mind that
i always try and respond to the comments
that i get including the ones that tend
to be um more aggressive and and uh
defensive so if i respond and you don't
like my response just keep in mind that
you opened the door you were the one who
wanted to talk to me about it and i am
more than happy to participate in it um

(02:05):
but if you're bringing
the attitude of needing to be right to
the table as opposed to just needing to
want to discuss things or wanting to get
a clearer picture of maybe what we're
talking about because i'm happy to find
a middle ground but i won't play in the
drama of self-validation just because i
don't have to i mean your doubt is your
own and if you need to to

(02:25):
deal and cope with that doubt by
focusing on people outside of yourself
then you can do that elsewhere i am
happy to have a conversation if you're
actually interested in looking beyond
what's making you defensive because i
mean that's that's what we can actually
relate on that's where i can empathize i
know what it's like to hold on to
something for the sake of security and
stability and so that's something i'm

(02:46):
always willing to talk about but it has
to be in that genuine attitude of
wanting to work together because we are
growing together if we're both willing
to
yeah certainly like if you're not
willing to have a conversation with the
potential that you may not be right and
your viewpoint going into it may not be

(03:06):
a hundred percent
correct or even
if it does end up being correct you you
had never understood or been able to see
it from the perspective of the person
that you're having the conversation with
and and realize that there is a path
that that person took that got them to
that
belief system no no matter how
much you disagree with it and how

(03:27):
extreme they may seem
odds are if you had gone through the
same [ __ ] they did you may believe
something
very very similarly but um we were
actually talking for about 10 minutes
before i did the introduction and i made
sure to cut it off because we would have
just kept talking and we oftentimes have
a lot of content that are outside of

(03:47):
our podcast conversations which we do
post on our patreon so if you're
interested
in seeing more of that there's a lot of
awesome content on there but what we
were discussing
was the need for
rules
to
versus
having the clarity
in life to see things and and not need

(04:08):
those rules as a crutch so things like
religion like people often bring up this
idea that you know we wouldn't know how
to act without religions or we wouldn't
have morals without the ten commandments
we wouldn't know
you know not to do those things if it
wasn't the ten commandments and it's an
interesting idea that you

(04:29):
because you're saying that if you didn't
have those then you would you know be a
cold-hearted killer and it's like that's
that's more alarming than thinking that
we don't need rules to act
out of clarity and out of a sense of of
unity
yeah but don't worry because of course
if you go back to your your you know

(04:51):
beastly nature of being a psychotic
killer you can just go and ask for
forgiveness and you'll be given you know
a couple of prayers for penance and then
you're right back to following the ten
commandments you're good to go until the
next time you revert to your sinner
nature um which it all kind of goes
together with our perspective of
ourselves right if we look at ourselves
in a way where we are beastly or we're

(05:12):
sinners or we're naturally you know cut
off from everybody else then it makes
sense that you would want to impose
rules on that kind of person because you
can't trust that kind of mind right that
kind of mind is completely self-serving
so it just kind of shows
where
the these commandments where these rules
came from they came from the mentality
that we can't trust one another we can't

(05:32):
even trust ourselves right and so yeah
it makes sense follow these rules very
strictly otherwise there's a punishment
otherwise there's there's a consequence
but i've often said that
anybody who has the genuine recognition
of connection
empathy on any level whatsoever in that
moment where you feel empathy there's no
morality in that
empathy has its own action right you

(05:54):
feel that connection you see yourself in
the other person on one level or another
and you act accordingly based on how you
would act with yourself and it's a
genuine thing it's not it's not
conceptual it's not based on a structure
it actually just happens in the moment
and you know that from every time you've
actually genuinely felt empathy

(06:14):
any concept you had about what you what
you were going to do with the person you
were talking to up until that point just
disappears how many times have you had a
conversation where you're like i'm going
to lay down i'm going to read this
person the riot act and really tell them
what's happening and then you sit down
and you see their insecurity and you see
why they were defensive and all of a
sudden everything you were going to say
just fades away
and you find yourself in this position

(06:35):
where you kind of exhale
and you see yourself and you're like
okay
we don't want to do this i don't want to
do this you don't want to do this how
can we work around this and all of a
sudden the conscious energy everything
in the conversation changes and it's
because it stops being an action and it
starts being
unity it starts being what happens when
we genuinely see that we're connected i

(06:57):
always find empathy to be
far stronger and far more powerful than
morality will ever be
yeah yeah it's it's
interesting once you're able to see
yourself and everyone there is no
even thought of wanting to like people
always go back to the idea of killing

(07:18):
and you know murder and that's like
objectively bad when the conversations
are good and bad and you know if we
didn't have these rules we
would
all be killers and it's like it's almost
like people think that the lack of
belief or the lack of these religious
laws or any sort of laws is keeping us

(07:38):
from or would keep us from
killing them or the lack would cause us
to
kill and then but it's almost like
people in reality people who kill it's
because of
a belief it's like the reason that
they're doing it is because of a belief
that they have whether it's a belief in

(07:59):
a certain system or a belief about the
other person that they are
taking as truth and it's it's only their
perception and it's once you peel back
those beliefs and you peel back enough
that you're able to see yourself in them
there's not even it doesn't even
wouldn't even cross your mind to want to
do some sort of

(08:20):
harm like that
yeah well especially over
thousands of years right like when you
look at it you're like oh you know thou
shall not kill unless they don't agree
with you about god and which person to
put up on a piece of wood right like
that that's kind of it in which case
then you go nuts because you know god is
on your side
and there's all this justification that

(08:41):
goes with it but
it really just comes down to to the same
thing as always is
i identify with this
therefore it justifies my action i
identify with this because it justifies
my action in my world view and although
i was taught that world view and taught
these actions by the people who came
before me they did the same thing and so
we end up in this generational toxicity

(09:01):
and um
all we can do
is come back to the point where we're
recognizing what we're doing and and
this is something that i often find
interesting because i like i said before
i i enjoy popping into live streams of
christians and and
you know muslims and and and uh judaic
uh preachers and things like that and or
rabbis and just listening to what

(09:22):
they're talking about because often
there's an insight there's that that
nugget of truth in the scripture in the
story that they're passing on but then
again
there's all of this need to believe and
all this is need to identify and all
this need to follow
rather than to to be the center of your
own universe to find you know the god
within yourself as it were so they argue
belief you'll talk to them and they'll

(09:43):
go oh you're taking that quote out of
context you know it's really this
translation it's this one it's like okay
all that's irrelevant right i think all
we're arguing is about you know which
pieces of our belief might be more
accurate than another and then somebody
else would come along well i believe
this and this and here's the scripture
that backs that up and so you can argue
in that mix back and forth forever
or you can cut out the middleman and say

(10:04):
well belief is fiction
that's the nature of belief
it doesn't matter what the belief is in
when we look at belief as it as as an
action it's a fiction if it wasn't a
fiction it would be a fact it wouldn't
be a belief
right so
why are we believing in fictions and so
all of the entire argument about

(10:25):
scripture and belief and everything else
just goes out the window when you just
look at the nature of belief in itself
why are we believing in a fiction and
that answer is very simple because we're
afraid and because we're uncertain and
it makes us feel better and if you can
get to that conversation then we can
actually get to what religion is
supposed to be because i said this to
somebody earlier who was challenging me

(10:46):
on this because
they saw some of our videos on god which
we normally talk about christianity
because obviously that's the one
religion that we're the most familiar
with but they were talking to me about
islam and and allah and they were trying
to point out that you know islam is very
very different than christianity or
judaism and my point was you're still
following rules you're still perceiving

(11:07):
god or allah as something separate from
yourself you're still investing in this
perception of us
as a particular role as as human or
whatever that might mean to you based on
your perspective and your culture so
there is still
this disconnect this confusion that that
results
and as a result you need false rules and
this person got very very angry with me
saying you know false rules what do you

(11:28):
mean by false rules which is what led us
to this conversation that
if you have a genuine recognition of
unity
you don't want
to hurt other people because you
recognize that they are you and that
everything goes full circle so if you
have to follow rules it's because your
belief has not led you to that
recognition
and if it hasn't

(11:49):
there's a serious possibility that it
never will
and you have to be willing to at least
look at that if
the genuine recognition of unity or the
experience of connection is important to
you or is it just about validating your
self-image is it just about agreeing
with your community and seeing
and having people perceive you in a
certain way in which case at least let's

(12:11):
be honest about that and say this has
nothing to do
with actual connection this has nothing
to do with god or allah this has
everything to do with your comfort
yeah i feel like as much as
most religions are rooted in
that sort of sense of unity or that's
where they began

(12:31):
people
i feel like they'll it's very rare to go
100
of the understanding through
any sort of belief or through any sort
of religion i feel like it almost has to
come from questioning that thing you
believe in
so much and so much to be true so like
you were saying it's not about arguing

(12:52):
like which belief is best or who has the
right belief or the wrong belief it's
it's belief itself and and it's only i
feel like it's it's got to be so hard if
you never ever question any beliefs even
if you like bounce around from different
beliefs like say you go from like
islam to
christian to judaism which i doubt i'm

(13:14):
sure that's extremely rare but even if
you did it'll it'll be
you'll never really get you could get
maybe 90 of the way there and be a
you know
good person certainly and well-meaning
and all of that with those rules but you
never
fully get there because
that belief at the very the last step is

(13:36):
with god and that separation and
holding on to that sense of duality and
that
sort of foisting of responsibility onto
something outside of yourself and not
seeing
that
you are god and everyone around you is
god and you are everyone and everyone is
you like there is never that
disconnection and i feel like you know

(13:58):
someone could get 99 of the way there
but that's sort of the last
at least from what i've seen in the
discussions i've had that's like the
last sort of thing that very few people
want to
let go of
yeah because as as we've said previously
the only true religion is none

(14:20):
yeah damn
that's it because i mean as long as
we're identifying as long as we're
believing we're separating we're we're
dividing we're we're doing everything
except coming together
right and so
it comes down to recognizing the nature
of thought recognizing the nature of
perception and all that and just not
taking it so seriously and and i

(14:40):
genuinely
see things that way when i see
people's relationships falling apart
when i see people's lives falling apart
it's always because of this over
commitment
to
who they think they are it's always
because of this this division that their
perception their
perpetuating perceptionally
without intending to or without

(15:01):
realizing they're doing so they're doing
so as a way of feeling better about
themselves and at the same time making
it harder for them to understand other
people because as soon as you think you
are one thing
you're not everything else and so it's
very difficult for you to have an
insight about those other things so long
as you have that perceptual division
right so
it that's really if we're going to do

(15:22):
anything it's coming to terms with the
fact that thoughts aren't truth like
they're they're just never truth
thoughts are a terrible measure of
what's true
yeah
yeah i uh
i was curious i i had one of my friends
from college on my podcast recently
actually and he he wanted to come on he

(15:44):
doesn't like create much content or
anything but he uh he dealt with ocd
like pretty
diagnosed like pretty extreme ocd
growing up and some
feelings of anxiety just like throughout
his life and we were talking and he's uh
atheists like he's he's never been very
religious but we started getting into
religion a little bit and he said that

(16:07):
we're talking about you know fear of
death and why
you know so many people turn to
religions and
they it eases their fear of death
because someone's like oh well you know
as long as you do these things you know
you'll
end up in heaven in this paradise that's
so much better than anything here and we
kind of got into how it's like they want

(16:29):
you to follow their rules and as long as
you do you get to this place but if you
don't then you go to hell
and so he
his perspective was that he doesn't
think it's a huge deal
if someone if if they're super anxious
about death and they're able to live
their entire life with less anxiety
about death because they are religious

(16:50):
and feel like you know they're gonna go
to heaven afterwards like
who is he to say that that shouldn't be
how they live and i i sort of
had a different perspective and that i
think holding on to that idea and and
having an answer to that that religion
gives you that doesn't actually exist
still just made up

(17:12):
having an answer there when you go to
another situation in your life where you
don't have an answer and there is
uncertainty and you lack control
completely which is inevitable like
having
thinking that there's an answer there
and then not having it on other sides of
your life rather than realizing that
there's everything is uncertain like you
never have any control will actually

(17:33):
allow you to build up a that faith in
yourself and trust in yourself so that
was my sort of perspective is why i
don't think that's super like long-term
super beneficial for people to
believe in that even if it you know
eases their anxiety of death
um so yeah

(17:54):
but it doesn't that's the whole point
right
you're always in danger of losing your
golden ticket right like you're always
in danger of slipping on the rules of
being a sinner you're always in danger
of suddenly you know not
not being good enough to get into heaven
which is why you always have people with
the death bed repentance right that last
minute bit of doubt it's like oh please

(18:15):
forgive me i want to go to heaven and
it's like right so
this is really the question is it's not
that there's anything wrong with it you
are more than welcome
to live your life
for what might happen after you die but
it's kind of like
you know going through an entire month
of waiting for a certain meal that's
going to be awesome

(18:35):
and then as a result of always fixating
on that meal not enjoying any of the
meals that come up to it because you're
always looking towards the end right so
you never actually learn to appreciate
the bite you're on or the meal you're in
or the the nutrient the nutrition you're
getting you don't appreciate anything
and so you know you wait until that last
meal and what's so funny is that there

(18:57):
isn't one
you die there's no meal right and then
you're just back to living
and so
it's it's such a shame i guess is the
point they have every right to do it
but it's a shame especially when
we're talking about you know god or the
concept of this universal intelligence
wanting what's best for us

(19:18):
and then we squander all of our ability
to appreciate and make the most of what
we're experiencing waiting for some day
where the universe is going to come down
and go okay everything's easy now
because at any point in our life when
things are easy we truly appreciate it
for long right like it's such a
short-sighted view
of life and satisfaction and happiness

(19:39):
as a whole
that there there's just so much toxicity
there
and so yeah you're welcome to believe in
the afterlife but
why believe in an afterlife and ruin the
life you have
because that's how it's going to go
because as long as you're looking
towards the future you're not making the
most of what you have now which is

(20:00):
exactly the point right live for today
because it's the garden but you have to
cultivate that garden you actually have
to be a participant in that garden to
make the most of it you can't just wait
for it to come you know to come into
full bloom and everything to be okay
because you're a part of the garden
nobody's gonna do it for you but then
again that's the belief in god right i
just got to pray and and that person you

(20:22):
know god will come down and fix
everything for me it's like
you're god so you better get to work
that's why i love the expression that
god helps those who help
yeah themselves a good one that uh that
analogy with the eating meals and
looking forward to that meal have you
ever posted a tick tock about that or
anything

(20:43):
that's like that's a good analogy i
think i think that yeah that i feel like
encapsulates that idea
very well but on the flip side like
playing devil's advocate what if
someone's like
yeah i have this meal that's great at
the end of the month and i have all
these meals in between and i'm still
enjoying these meals

(21:04):
and then i'm also what if i can enjoy
both and like also enjoy the meal
at the end do you think it there's still
like a slight subconscious
lack in the
in the meals leading up to the final
like grand meal absolutely absolutely
because
even the idea that that there is an
afterlife

(21:25):
is very much based on our over
commitment to the idea of me my
character my beliefs my my you know uh
opinions and my
persona i guess continuing on it's me
not wanting to let go of me
so there's immediately a lack there
there's immediately a disconnect again
right so
it's a lovely hypothetical what if

(21:45):
somebody could believe in the afterlife
and could make the most of their life
right but in my experience from
everybody i've ever talked to
that's not how it happens because there
is that perceptual division because it
the division is rooted in how they
perceive themselves and how they
perceive life and so there is
automatically a sense of lack

(22:06):
and that's again why
they will defend that belief why they
will get very much bent out of shape
when you threaten that belief and it's
because
they need that belief it's very much a
requirement for their own sense of
security and stability
yeah yeah that uh
that idea of not wanting to let go of me

(22:26):
that makes a lot of sense because the
whole idea
of the afterlife is that you know if i
were a believer and i believed in the
afterlife it's like
that idea is that andrew is gonna live
on so there's you're so far from coming
to the realization that you're not
this character but i think and i think

(22:49):
from what i've seen too and noticing
more
of the people sort of in between where
it's like you know the full
realization
that you are the awareness of what is
the universal awareness you know
experiencing itself versus you know
being this human is i feel like there's
so many things in between that i've
noticed too videos about you know

(23:10):
thinking that you know you are a spirit
experiencing a human
or
you know this this soul
consciousness and and you know like you
are a source but like a separate piece
of source that has its own
contract that you're gonna experience
like i've noticed so many things sort of

(23:30):
in between that full-on like i'm andrew
versus there's a lot of people out there
i i guess that's probably a lot of the
spiritual community thinking that you
know they're not this human character
but they are still
a
separate sort of character individual
ego character and i've been noticing

(23:51):
that a ton with manifestation
type posts and just people and
i'm like oh man wow i am
able to see this a lot more clearly with
with the manifestation stuff because
there's so much of it
out there that i
fully believed in
not that long ago and now have just

(24:12):
gotten clearer
on that understanding too and and if
you're manifesting your and have this
idea of like getting things for you
you're very much holding on to it's ego
driven like no matter how you think that
you're you know how many ego deaths
you've had if you're manifesting certain
things for this

(24:33):
grouping of cells that you're
you know aware of then
you're not
you're still very much identified
yeah absolutely it's interesting i i
just wanted to tie and tie something in
here quickly because it was dawning on
me the other day um often when we say
that we're the the awareness of the
universe the automatic response is well

(24:54):
then why can't i be aware of what other
people are thinking
and and it's like are you aware of what
your spleen is doing
right it's like there's a lot of moving
parts here do you really want to be
aware of all of them at the same time
right because that sounds
really intense
um but it's just kind of a funny thought
it's like you know oh i should be aware

(25:14):
of everything all at once it's like dear
god like i'm not even aware of what's
happening in this vessel like i don't
want to be aware of all the other
vessels like there's so many because
we're all in charge of our own peace
right this is what we were talking about
i think in the last podcast or two
podcasts ago about how our
responsibility is in the part we are
right or in the part that we're aware of
being right it's not in everything else

(25:36):
right so i just think that's kind of
funny
yeah yeah and i've used i've had people
because that when i first started
realizing that that was a lot of the
questions i got was about
that and at first i was like i i don't
know that's kind of a good question like
i don't necessarily always have great
answers everything but i also like i use

(25:56):
uh the tree analogy like you know all
the leaves on the tree are still the
tree but just because the wind's blowing
on one side of the tree and not the
other doesn't mean that you know the
leaves moving on one side that aren't
aware of the wind on the other side
aren't still the tree or just because
you know the sun's coming from one angle
and the other side of the tree is shady

(26:18):
and one side is sunny and this these
leaves feel the sun
and the other side can't then
yeah it's it's not or the uh
the headphone uh i've made a video with
like your you have one headphone
in one year and just cuz
say you it was like someone's voice and
you started to identify with that voice

(26:39):
it doesn't mean it's your voice but it's
it's if you identify with it you start
to you know believe it similarly to how
you know your subconscious your your
thoughts you begin to identify with them
so if you put one headphone in one ear
like an airpod in one year and someone
starts saying stuff and you start
identifying with that voice and this
year can hear it but this year can't

(26:59):
does this mean that this year isn't you
no you just can't hear it same thing
with not being able to hear other
people's thoughts it doesn't mean those
thoughts are theirs or the thoughts in
your head or yours it's just something
you can hear that you have identified
with but it has nothing to do with who
you are or the fact that you're not this
universal
awareness yeah

(27:20):
exactly and that's you know what we're
we're going to be covering that a little
bit more in detail on this week's
manifestation workshop right the
the rudder as it were you know tuning
into to being the rudder being able to
get out of out of your way and to
it's even and you were saying this about
uh spirituality how we kind of we go in

(27:42):
gradations from you know i'm this
character to you know i'm source and
we're somewhere in between that um and
even beyond that because eventually
you're not even sourced right you stop
being anything it's the whole point
right
but in those gradations we go through a
lot of different
you know
perspectives of ourself and the one we
tend to get caught on because it's very

(28:03):
much the crux of spirituality is that i
am
a spiritual being having a human
experience
and it's like well that that's
a good perspective because again you're
looking at yourself at least as being
more than the body
but what does that really mean when we
think about it right
because we're saying we're having a
human experience

(28:24):
which means that we're not human and
we're accepting that and being you know
a spiritual being but
when we're thinking about that that
means that
our perspective of our body as being a
physical thing our perspective of our
body being disconnected from the floor
and the air and everybody else in our
environment
is completely just perspective

(28:47):
right that's all us just coming back to
identity because that's all identity is
it's this idea that we're separate from
everything else right
and so the le the more we let that go
the more we start to feel ourselves as a
part of everything and it's not
it's not a conscious visualization this
is where people tend to get you know
kind of off the rails as they start to
visualize themselves as being part of

(29:09):
the world
and you don't have to do that you are
the world there's no disconnect this
isn't something you have to visualize
it's something that you just have to
allow yourself to become aware of and
that's always a result of not thinking
of always listening of getting out of
the way of allowing yourself to be
sensitive
and so

(29:29):
it's just about
letting go but
letting go
isn't letting go in the way that people
tend to talk about it because as soon as
it becomes a concept of letting go
that's not letting go now you're holding
on to the idea of letting go so you
actually have to let go
of letting go
yeah there's there's just so many times
it comes back to it's not about you know

(29:52):
adding anything it's about peeling
things back or visualizing
being
you know the world that's just another
idea that you have like your idea of
being this awareness isn't being this
awareness or this idea of who you are or
being yourself
isn't

(30:13):
being yourself you're you're being
yourself is when you're not trying to be
anything at all and it's not when you're
not trying to be anything at all to try
and be yourself it's like it's it's the
lack of any and all of that is when
you're able to
see it so it's it's not about trying to
do anything or actively doing anything

(30:33):
it's about the lack of
all of those things
absolutely so this leads me to a
question that somebody asked on my tech
talk account and i wanted to bring it to
you because
it's very much in line with what we're
talking about and it's
it's a good question um
do you do you think that you can lead
somebody to a spiritual awakening

(30:57):
no
you want to elaborate
i i think i
i think you can
express things
in different ways but it's like your
idea of the truth isn't the truth your

(31:18):
expression of the truth isn't the truth
your idea about or video about the truth
isn't the truth the words that you say
aren't you know the word tree isn't a
tree the word boat isn't a boat so
there's nothing it's it's almost like it
can't be
said it can't be explained it can't be

(31:39):
you know there can't be examples there
can't be analogies that you know you can
it can point to it you know it's like
pointers to the truth are not the truth
and you know we both make lots of videos
you know sort of as pointers but they
aren't what it is how can you express
reality if reality isn't words you can't
say it in words and someone asked me

(32:00):
that on an instagram q a once like is it
difficult to
express some of the things that you talk
about
you know in videos and i was like well
yes it's when something isn't words it's
very difficult to express it in words
and you're never doing it justice at all
it just is so
that is my elaboration too no i don't

(32:21):
think you can
lead anyone to a spiritual awakening
that was awesome that was perfect right
that's true um you can't i mean
at most you can be part of somebody's
awakening you can be there
as a participant of their awakening you
know sometimes unwittingly
right but but it's very much it's very

(32:42):
much on them they have to have the ears
to hear right they have to be willing to
do the work and and that and that's very
much it because
it does take courage right like
so i i always find it very interesting
because we tend to use words like
awakening
and it's very much like the word ego
death or the expression ego death and
that it implies this this finality like

(33:02):
this this destination this end point
where it's like yes
my ego is dead
i'm good to go
um but it's not it's not ever an end
point it's always a continuous state of
being it's always a continuous um
questioning of yourself it's always a
continuous getting out of your own way
right and
you have to keep that in mind because if

(33:24):
you're shooting for an end point you're
shooting for a concept you're shooting
for an idea this is very much like that
video you sent me the other day um
about the guy who's talking about mind
science and and while i love his content
it's really really good i immediately
get turned off by the promise of
superpowers i immediately get turned off
by the the promise of this otherworldly

(33:45):
you know kind of consciousness and
awareness because while that's true to
some degree i mean we are in fact
working our way towards a greater state
of clarity and a greater sense of
sensitivity and everything else
i wouldn't declare them to be
superpowers because that puts them in a
pedestal that gives us a concept an idea
of what they mean and i wouldn't declare
it to be an ascension process because
again that gives us an idea of what that

(34:07):
means you know it's it's kind of like
the baha'i right like i'm becoming it's
like what are you becoming
what are you not already
right and so
when we're talking about
this journey
it's so important to remember that it's
not a journey it's a journey
to now it's a journey to where you are

(34:29):
to what you are already and all the
journey really is is allowing yourself
to fully recognize and appreciate and
embody the vastness of what that is but
yeah we can never communicate it in
words and every time we try we just give
people with the wrong mindset something
to hold on to and make more problems

(34:49):
yeah certain way yeah and everyone's
always trying to hold on to or like
achieve this idea of enlightenment and i
was on a uh i was on a tick tock live a
few days ago when someone
was like there is like
they said something that just yeah i
don't know something about like how i
they're like how does it feel to be

(35:10):
enlightened and i started laughing and i
was like
there's enlightenment doesn't exist it's
an idea and they were like going back
they were just kept commenting things
like yes it does like yeah it's a thing
like realizing that we're all you know
one and unity and blah blah and i was
like all right so people who believe in
this idea of enlightenment

(35:32):
have not experienced that because anyone
who actually experiences that and and
realizes that
there's no need to be enlightened who's
enlightened like what what person or if
someone is claiming to be enlightened
then they are very much identified as
separate they are living in a world of
duality and
so like the idea of enlightenment unless

(35:54):
just the universe is enlightenment if
you want to say that i guess but for
there to be
individuals who are enlightened and
individuals who aren't
if you realize these things there is no
individual to be enlightened so
that's kind of it there's no
enlightenment it's just an idea that
people
hold on to and it's just like made-up

(36:16):
concept just like
all the others
the danger is
or at least part of the danger is
in this
this belief or this commitment we have
that
ideas give us value
right like if if i have an idea of
myself that is the measure of my value
as a person which is why i have a

(36:36):
negative idea of myself as this bad
thing and a positive idea is a good
thing right and it's like well yeah but
a positive idea is something now you
have to defend and you're scared to have
threatened so is it a really good thing
right there's still an idea of yourself
right and so we get really caught up in
this idea of ideas
reflecting our value and so you see
something like the concept of

(36:57):
enlightenment
and that's a big shiny idea that is a
hell of an ego
right like oh my god you can see
yourself almost in flowing robes for
god's sake right like somebody's behind
you with a bound some incense like you
there's a big image that goes with this
idea of being enlightened
and the reality

(37:18):
is that
when you get there you're just like ah
i was just playing a game
this whole time i've been playing a game
in my head
and that's all it is and so you're not
really being enlightened so much as just
going oh right i really got caught up in
that
right and that's that's it but that that
is not satisfying egotistically

(37:39):
it's not satisfying egotistically to
come to a point where you're just like
oh i'm not actually better or worse than
anyone or anything
it's freeing
but it's not satisfying
yeah yeah certainly um
yeah i mean i think there's so

(37:59):
what do you think when someone
is
close to that you know there are people
i don't know like people who
i don't know do you see
like i come across sad guru
his stuff sometimes or you know we talk
about eckhart tolle or
uh there's i feel like there's a lot of
people who are considered by society as

(38:22):
enlightened
do you think there's people out there
who people consider enlightened and they
consider
themselves
enlightened i'm not saying those people
that i mentioned but
but they're they're just like
holding on to this ego
identity because it's satisfying even
though they talk about not having ego

(38:42):
identity
absolutely more ego i've met plenty for
sure speakers and gurus and teachers
and they they love the adulation right
they love the attention they love the
role of being a teacher
and it's like yeah that happens a lot
more more often than i feel comfortable
with but um if you get a chance actually
this is a really good one to watch it's

(39:04):
called kumari
k-u-m-a-r-e
and basically you're going to love this
this guy
decided he was going to play the part
of an enlightened guru and so he got the
robes he rented a yoga studio he paid
these these people to be his assistants

(39:25):
and they all played along with him being
this enlightened guru and the entire
documentary is basically how he suckered
all these people into believing what
they wanted to believe
they perceived him the way they wanted
to and then at the end when he does the
reveal saying actually i don't have an
accent i'm not this person at all
right it was so interesting how some
people got very upset some people were

(39:46):
actually super grateful
and other people
they just refused to believe it they're
like nope i saw his aura i can i can
read it's all a trick like it was just
and it's it's it's exactly that it's
that um
our gurus
any guru who says he's a guru
more than likely isn't right which is
why i get super uncomfortable when i

(40:07):
start seeing tic toc shamans
right because any shaman worth assault
isn't going to go up to you and say i'm
a shaman like they're they're just not
right like it's a it's a label for
convenience it's a label for for perhaps
the practice that they're involved with
but it's not it's not a measure of value
it's not an identification right and so
when you start seeing people online

(40:27):
saying you know like you know
a spiritual guide or spiritual teacher
yeah you should definitely question that
you should you should question it
because they want to be in that position
where there they can guide you and
because that's super self-validating i
mean it took me a long time to get over
that that's why i didn't life coach for
a number of years was because it's too

(40:47):
tempting to want to feel like you know
right and the only thing that's changed
over over the last 10 years of my life
has been the acceptance that
none of us do
and that's the one thing we all have in
common and so if i can work with people
on that level then at least that's
honest and it's sincere and it's genuine
and there's a capacity to have an

(41:08):
insight
right but it really just comes down to
abandoning that dichotomy between
the knower and the one who doesn't know
or the teacher and the student right
like in ourselves we have to be both and
so we have to allow the people we talk
to to likewise be both
so then so how do you think then that

(41:29):
people who
come to that
realization that
you know we are the awareness of what is
and we are all
connected like who truly understand
non-duality and that there is
no separation
like how do they then call themselves

(41:50):
gurus at the same time like how do they
do both if they actually understand that
then by design
their
fault it's a faulty mechanism that
they're working with like how do you
think it's just that difficult to let go
um it's like you said there are
gradations right there there are

(42:11):
levels of letting go all the way up to
and admittedly the farther you go the
harder it is because
what you're letting go of is essentially
yourself
and and and that
that takes some
some um commitment i guess you could say
it takes an honest to god passion and
enthusiasm for it

(42:31):
um
but
after a certain point it doesn't always
make sense some people decide to just
stop there and there's nothing wrong
with one way or another i mean if if you
come to a certain point where you have
access to certain insights and you want
to share them and call yourself a guru
then the people who are in a position
where they could use that insight
they're going to find you and then when
they move beyond you they're going to

(42:51):
leave you behind so it's really up to
you where you want to stop
and often that's what happens with
teachers is they decide i've got lots of
followers pretty comfortable
sending out some fairly positive
messages i don't really have any desire
to go any farther beyond that whereas
you know for me personally
i'm curious as hell as to exactly how

(43:12):
far this goes i think i i just
can't imagine stopping on any level
where i'm like oh yeah that's me now
this is this is who i am because it it
just seems so odd like i don't want
when i get 10 years down the road
i'm not going to be thinking any of the
crap that i'm thinking right now and
hopefully the same is true for tomorrow
yeah i feel like i don't know and from

(43:34):
my perspective like realizing
that
we are the here and now we are what is
like that in itself if you actually get
that like that's
very
powerful just and like very
jarring in a very
positive way like a very positive way i

(43:54):
guess is the best way i can say it like
i feel like
i don't
i don't know like there isn't that much
more that you would think that you
needed
on top of that realization
but
now that depends right like
it comes down to the world that we live
in and the world that we live in gives
us all kinds of justification you know

(44:16):
to focus on ourselves for sure
i i mean that that's it and again
there's nothing wrong with it one way or
another but
having the insight as we've said before
is one thing and then
practicing the insight as everything
around you falls apart and you get older
and you go day to day and you start
seeing friendships fall away and you
start seeing people that were once

(44:38):
comfortable with you
run from you because they're no longer
comfortable with you
all of that you know starts to take its
toll and after a while you start to
wonder like oh is is this path worth it
you know somebody once said to me that
um
the path of righteousness is a lonely
path
and
we don't want to be righteous by any
means but this is in fact a solitary

(45:00):
path it's not that it's lonely because
that again that comes back to how you
perceive yourself and your relationship
with others and and your need but it is
a path that you have to walk alone
like this is something that's on you at
the end of the day there's nobody else
who's going to walk it for you and
coming to that
can be very difficult you know it can be

(45:20):
difficult to accept that especially when
we want to be comforted especially when
we want you know for somebody to lead
the way or take some of the burden off
of us when we don't believe in ourselves
you know that's especially when we want
it when we don't believe in ourselves we
just want somebody to come
and and carry us you know it's like that
footprints poem you ever see that where
there's two footprints walking through
the sand and then

(45:41):
and one disappears
right
i always find that really funny for a
couple of reasons one i always see it
the opposite way that you know it was
when he stopped creating jesus that i
was walking alone right but the other
thing is that that when i first
encountered that poem it was signed
anonymous which i thought was awesome
because of course i'm always anonymous
right

(46:02):
but but the point being is that there's
this need to want to be carried there's
this need to want to feel like you know
we're good somebody's going to pick me
up if i fall down it's always us we
always pick ourselves up and of course
reality helps us but we're a reality
right and so it really comes back down
to that i'm on my own and somebody asked
me this the other day i think it was
yesterday

(46:24):
do we need
human connection do we need
that validation do we need that
connection to other people and i would
say that up into a certain point in our
life we do
as children growing up as organic beings
growing up as animals in the world with
dangers and everything else there is a
need for connection there's even a love
of connection but
after a certain point when we're old

(46:44):
enough to take care of ourselves when
we're old enough to survive and thrive
on our own
if we don't address that need it becomes
toxic if we don't address that need now
we're no longer allowing ourselves to
flourish in our strength we're actually
holding ourselves back just because
there's an available crutch
right and so after a certain point in
our life we have to move past the need

(47:06):
for human connection to the appreciation
of human connection without the need for
it because at least then
that connection becomes more pure that
connection has more potential to grow
into something else and inspire more
insights because it's genuine right but
yeah it's really in addressing that need
and and that is true even for gurus

(47:27):
right if a guru is still experiencing
need because recognizing you're the
universe is one thing like having a
because it's it's an insight that has
infinite layers
right the deeper you go the more gets
shaken
right and so after a certain point
it just it gets too much for people
sometimes and then and understandably

(47:47):
understandably i mean this is a physical
experience not everybody wants to move
beyond that right but uh especially in a
world where we don't we don't have
anybody saying you know well
it's totally worth it because right now
there's just not enough people in the
world doing that
yeah
yeah i'm curious uh with this the idea
of of having a need for

(48:09):
other people
or that sort of feeling and and how
maybe you
may not need that later in life when it
comes to
like the idea of extroverts versus
introverts and
how people often define it as extroverts
like get energy from being around others
introverts

(48:29):
lose energy from being around others
sort of like high-level definitions i
would say i probably lean introvert but
certainly i'm kind of i don't know in
the middle somewhere like depending on
the situation and where i'm at but
do you think that
like
extroverts more often fall into

(48:50):
that what you were describing is needing
that
external like people
around them in order to feel
okay and so maybe it could almost be
more difficult
as a natural extrovert to
find that sort of understanding versus

(49:11):
as an introvert it may
be i don't know about easier but just a
shorter
path
to that like less layers to go through
or do you think it's just very much
dependent and it just completely depends
on
the situation and
how many layers that person has because
introverts and extroverts could have an

(49:32):
equal amount of players
yeah well i mean it's it's kind of
interesting because it's really just
indicative of
which end of
the lesson spectrum we're on right
because you can be an extrovert either
because you hate being alone
or because
you really focus on other people's
attention on you or you could be an

(49:52):
extrovert because you enjoy other people
being happy around you but typically if
you're that kind of extrovert you are
equally introverted in that you also
enjoy your own company
right so it really comes down to are you
avoiding being yourself are you avoiding
people
right or are you avoiding being by
yourself or are you avoiding people

(50:13):
and typically the one you're avoiding is
the one that has lessons for you to
learn right like the thing about being
an introvert is that you can learn about
yourself
but it's not until you get
in front of other people that you get to
test that that you actually get to to
work through what you've learned about
yourselves like krishnamurti was saying
about relationships being uh where we
get to see ourself without distortion

(50:35):
right
that's it so you work on yourself all
day long as soon as you go and talk to
somebody and they rattle your cage or
they don't respond in the way that you
perceived them to respond or prepared
for them to respond or any of those
things and it rattles you well all of a
sudden you may go running back to being
an introvert where you're comfortable
and trying to figure out what to do next
but your best bet is actually just to be
in that discomfort roll with it learn

(50:57):
from what and learn about it about
yourself what you can from that
situation so when you do go back to your
own time by yourself you have something
to process right so we get caught in
calling ourselves introverts or
extroverts we get caught in this idea
one way or another and the fact is that
you're going to be one and you're going
to be another
on different periods of your life based
on your environment and the lessons that

(51:18):
you're going through and what you're
willing to challenge yourself on right
yeah they're both just ideas at the end
of the day
but yeah with the the idea of you know
being around
other people and
you know testing those
boundaries i find that to be very true
especially when i go back to be with my
family uh especially with some of my

(51:40):
differing viewpoints now when it comes
to you know psychedelics and religion
not that my family's never been you know
extreme
into any of that really like
we'll probably go to mass on christmas
but that's pretty much the only time
go to mass and i mean i actually i've

(52:00):
been to
mass like a couple times in the last
year or two and i actually don't
mind it because i'm able to see some of
the actual teachings like the way that
they were more so intended i feel like
um i still think it's yeah just the
whole idea of like having a priest and
stuff it's very interesting but

(52:22):
um or the idea that
you know i have relatives outside of my
family just like other relatives who
if they knew that i was you know
atheist or whatever they want to label
me as they would view me
very differently
it's like that's just so so interesting
but with with being around other people

(52:43):
and testing those limits i find that
with my family quite a bit because we're
always like there's definitely a lot of
bickering that happens but
i have
found that i've been just more
like i've been okay with getting into it
for sure and i don't necessarily judge
myself for
you know whereas i think when i when i

(53:05):
still thought there was like this idea
of like path to enlightenment i would
almost
judge myself on top of getting worked up
in a situation like if my sister was
pushing my buttons i'd be like i
shouldn't get worked up because i have
these new understandings about things
and blah blah blah blah and now i'm like
yeah i get worked up and like yeah we'll

(53:26):
forgive each other afterwards and we'll
move on and like that's all right like
yeah i get heated sometimes i can be
very emotional about things and
i can push back too and that's okay too
like there's nothing about it that is
saying that i you know anyone can't act
like that but it's like it it's still a

(53:47):
responsibility for you to live with that
and if that you know if you go too far
and someone gets really mad like if i
i'm also very quick to forgive too or
ask forgiveness or whatever the
situation is so things never really boil
up too much but when you have a lot of
history with people it it becomes very

(54:09):
very easy for things to escalate very
quickly which i always find my
family though i do love them very much
and love being around them which is why
i am with my family quite a bit but it
is interesting to see that
absolutely well and this is why
intention is so important right like
i i often

(54:30):
well i'm just who i am and so no matter
which situation i go to in any social
environment
things go sideways just because i don't
generally talk about things and say wait
the same way that other people do and
i've upset more than a few people as a
result not intentionally but just
because they were holding on to
something that i don't necessarily take
seriously or something that i
don't recognize as being beneficial and

(54:51):
so i don't i don't prop it up as such in
my conversation but my intention is
never to hurt people's feelings and so
whenever i am in a conversation with
somebody that's like oh i'm sorry
i didn't actually mean
to upset you like this this is what i
meant let's talk about it kind of thing
right and as long as you're willing to
do that that's fine but
if you're reliant on being right if

(55:13):
you're still defending your ego you are
never that reasonable right because
because you need to be right and that's
the whole point you can get in these
conversations and they're fun
right you can even get a little
frustrated you can even get a little
bothered by it right just but
it's how bothered it's for what reason
how invested are you in that are you
going to go home and actually just you

(55:33):
know think about that take it in learn a
bit about yourself maybe jettison some
[ __ ] you didn't need right are you gonna
go home get resentful and then find
somebody else to lash out at because you
know you need somebody to agree with you
and so it really just comes down to
again how over-invested you are in your
own idea of yourself but if you're not
then all you are is facilitating growth

(55:54):
all the time it's like we were talking
to to mary on our uh supporter only live
stream on patreon and she was mentioning
you know working with the people in her
life and trying to you know be an
instrument of change there it's like
yeah just be yourself you're already
doing it right don't don't get caught up
in trying to get them somewhere just
just be there just be who you are as you

(56:16):
change
and everything changes with you but that
doesn't imply control it implies
influence and participation right
yeah certainly i was having
a conversation i'm not gonna name i'm
trying to no not name names because i
know they wouldn't appreciate it
necessarily but i was someone close to
me and we were talking about religion

(56:38):
and it ended up being a pretty long
discussion and it got a little bit
heated and they they were coming from a
point of
they don't understand why
i have to
you know create these videos sort of
seemingly mocking
those with certain beliefs and the way
that they are perceiving them is that i

(56:58):
am
you know above other people for
realizing
that god
you know the idea of you know of sky
daddy is silly and it's similar to a
fairy tale and they were expressing how
they don't understand why
i have to
push on this so much all the time and

(57:19):
you know because we have there are a lot
of people
in
our lives that are you know very
religious
and they follow me on stuff and that
always comes up is like the people who
we know that follow me and i'm like oh
my god just give me a list of people and
i will block all of them like i don't
need like this is my account has my like

(57:39):
my name on it i'm gonna post whatever
the [ __ ] i want and i don't give a [ __ ]
what anyone like that's
a lot of what my videos are about is not
caring so like i'm certainly not gonna
care about certain people following me
if they have certain beliefs and it
makes them uncomfortable maybe they
should look into why they feel so
uncomfortable but that discussion it got

(58:00):
it got heated and then it like sort of
calmed back down and this person i was
talking to
i was like you know
and
they said how
they
they don't know
what they
believe anymore and it got to a point of
they always had
and i was like that's why i express

(58:23):
these things because if i hadn't
you may have never gotten to a point
where you're not sure what you like this
is why i express these things it's not
because i want to rattle people's cage
just because when people have ears to
hear they'll start to hear and a lot of
what i
was saying i expressed why i feel
strongly that i push against religion

(58:45):
because i think it's a pretty [ __ ] up
thing at the end of the day when you
really think about it and so when they
said like i don't know what i believe
anymore i was like
there you go that's why i do this and
that was towards the end of the
conversation
yeah absolutely no i
it's it's totally worth it for that
reason right i think i told you but one

(59:05):
evening i was uh so i was living by
myself it was i think about a year and a
half after i woke up and my ex-roommate
was working downtown in the city that we
lived in at a restaurant and so he he
would always come home go back home at
like three in the morning and on his way
home he'd run into a bunch of homeless
people and uh as he was walking by these
homeless people he ran across a group of

(59:26):
christians who were trying to convert
those homeless people much as i had done
several times before so he decided to
bring them to my house
at three in the morning the homeless
people or the religious the christians
the three born-again christians that
were trying to convert homeless people
at three in the morning he decided to
bring them to my house and of course at
the time i i was i had just eaten like

(59:47):
you know several grams of mushrooms and
so i was just sitting in my house kind
of just you know
blissing out on just being me suddenly
the doorbell
this harsh harsh buzzing noise and i'm
like what is that who's this and it was
sure enough it was him and these three
people so they all come up to my house
and
he's like oh you got to talk to ray
you're going to love ray and i'm like

(01:00:08):
what are you doing why are you doing
this like this you know how this is
going to go
so within about a half hour
two of these
these born-again christians are
screaming at me
in my house
and the third one who was the youngest
had this look on his face like this he's
just like

(01:00:28):
wow
and he just took it in and so by the end
of the conversation
the two got up and they're like you know
we're leaving they looked at my friend
they're like well hopefully we'll see
you at church they looked at me they're
like don't come
right
and then they left and the third one the
youngest one kind of followed behind
them but he hung back a little
and he came up to me and he kind of like

(01:00:49):
whispered in my face like
i don't understand everything you're
saying
but a lot of it made sense and i'm gonna
think about this
and it made the whole conversation
worthwhile right despite the fact that
the other two guys were livid they were
so very angry with me that day and it
was you know very much as a result as a
result of

(01:01:10):
what we were talking about which is the
difference between faith and belief the
difference between actually connection
to the universe versus the projection of
a god fiction for the sake of
self-validation and so
yeah you're going to frustrate some
people and the people
who
get frustrated and run away they'll have
another opportunity but others

(01:01:31):
will take what you give them or take
that opportunity and allow it to change
them even if it's just a little and that
makes it all worthwhile because then
they can do something with it but until
they have that exposure to something
it's very difficult i mean when i was
only exposed to christianity it's very
difficult to find insights that aren't
in christianity you know i had to go to

(01:01:52):
expose to taoism and buddhism and i had
to look into other other beliefs in
order to even find these other insights
and i think that's the point that is
that there's a grain of truth in all of
these fictions
but we get caught up in in defending the
fiction instead of gleaning the truth
yeah yeah
certainly yeah it's uh

(01:02:15):
yeah it's quite interesting just how
how much
there is that is you know it all is kind
of rooted in the same understanding and
yet there's so much
layered on top of it and that video you
posted
uh a week or two ago just about how
you're like realizing you're in the
dream and then you know there's people

(01:02:36):
who are going to tell you
about you know how the dream came to be
being religion it's just
it becomes
so much clearer through
these understandings just how much it's
like everything just is it just is as it
is we
are here now we came from the earth and
almost anything you hear about you know

(01:02:58):
how things happened or what's gonna
happen next are all just
stories they're all just
fables that people get caught up in and
identify with as truth and it's i i mean
i guess less so now with like people
fighting wars about it like i mean
sort of yes i guess not

(01:03:19):
in i don't know not around me as much
but there are
you know
still that going on but yes it's
i just find it very
very interesting how much of it is
rooted in the same sort of
understandings and it all
almost all of them seemingly stemmed

(01:03:40):
from someone who got it and then all of
these people came in
with
egos and portrayed it in a way that was
believing that this person who got it
was very ego identified as well so
anything they expressed they were
thinking you know with jesus like i'm
the way the truth and the life their
thought he was talking about himself

(01:04:01):
when he was talking about i like i am
that we all are like i am andrew i am
not andrew i am i and
you say i am rey you're not rey you are
i like that i is the universal
thing that we are and that's how jesus
expressed it but everyone no one under
got that so
it yeah it does kind of

(01:04:22):
is
i don't know kind of a bummer that jesus
wasn't more
you know explicit in some of his
expressions but at the same time you
know the church just picked and chose
their narrative for the bible anyway so
it may have not mattered anyway
nope never i mean that that's why i like
the gospel of thomas right the gospel of
thomas is by far my favorite gospel

(01:04:44):
because it's it's just a conversation
with with whoever jesus was right and
and there's no virgin birth there's no
healing there's none of that it's just
the conversation and what i love is that
it starts off with
whoever gets this will never taste death
it's like nice that's awesome and then
he goes on and he's like you know uh

(01:05:04):
seek and you shall find
when you find you shall marvel and rule
over all and it's very much like you
know it's uh when you find you shall be
upset
and then you will marvel and reign
overall and it's like yeah exactly right
like you're gonna look you're gonna go
what no i don't like that and then
you'll accept it eventually and then
you'll start to realize you're connected
to everything so reign isn't really

(01:05:25):
quite
the right word but the whole gospel is
awesome right up until the end where he
says you know and and women must become
man
and it's funny because when i first read
that i'm like that seems like a male
thing to say right for sure but when you
think about it it makes perfect sense
especially
in context with what's happening in

(01:05:46):
terms of the trans movement and in terms
of identity uh or gender fluidity and
everything else is that we have to
question our identity the woman has to
become the man the man has to become the
one that we have to let go of these
ideas that divide us
right like the lion lays down with the
lamb that kind of thing right like these
are all divisive concepts that separate
us and so that's all he was ever trying

(01:06:07):
to say right that's why i always find it
very interesting it's like you know um
i'll talk about jesus saying you know
i'm the way the truth and light and
christians will always say something oh
you're taking that scripture out of
context it's like the entire bible is
taken out of context it's literally
stories written
removed from rest from the rest of human
history

(01:06:28):
so you're saying you're taking
that out of context but you're
cherry-picking one line and then
choosing everybody else's interpretation
of it from the new testament
but i'm taking it out of context like
we're still talking about the same words
like there's no difference between
reading what jesus said
in say the gospel of luke
and giving your opinion

(01:06:49):
or reading luke's opinion
they're still opinions of what was said
right they're not it's not the gospel of
jesus it's not jesus writing it
it's somebody's interpretation of what
they witness jesus do
right so it's not scripture it's not the
the god's word it's not you know the the
word of the lord it's just an

(01:07:11):
interpretation and anybody can interpret
so let's just focus on the actual things
that jesus said and if we take those
very small amounts of actual quotes that
we have from jesus the new testament
doesn't make any sense at all
it's like it was interpreted by people
who never met the man and had no idea
what he was talking about kind of like
the the latest rendition of dune

(01:07:33):
yeah it is
it's
it's crazy how
it's not even even if jesus did write it
it would be
his perception of his writing or like
his thoughts aren't the truth they may
more clearly point to the truth but
we're getting
his ideas that were written by someone
else so it's a perception of a
perception of the truth so it's so much

(01:07:55):
further removed and when you said uh the
quote
well it was something like at first when
you see it you will be frustrated and
then you will marvel and then you will
reign overall is that what it was yeah
see can you shall find and when you find
you should be frustrated and then you
will you know
marvel and rain overall yeah yeah i
wonder if i i almost when you said that

(01:08:16):
i thought of it as instead of rain like
rei gn or however it's spelled it it was
like
rain r-a-i-n like you are
also right
overall totally um yeah yeah you have to
read that gospel man it's such a good
read i i do i do yeah i'm gonna i will
get to that this week um

(01:08:37):
but yeah with the uh i actually want to
get into this a little bit with the you
know trans movement and gender
identification
part of me feels like
the realization
that you are not
this thing that you have been told that
you are or that you have identified with
so you think that you're you know
whether you're a man and think you feel

(01:08:58):
like a woman or a woman and feel like a
man or anything else that you may
feel like i feel like that's almost
on the path of realizing that you're not
this human but because we live in a
society where it's like these are the
only options people give us you're like
oh if i'm not this you know woman that i

(01:09:19):
must be a man and and it's like because
there is a limit to the options instead
of
being more broadly understood that you
are the universe and you are everything
and just because you're not you know i'm
not andrew doesn't mean i'm some other
ego identification it means that i am
just
what is i'm the awareness of what is so

(01:09:39):
part of me feels like with that movement
it's like along that
path of understanding that you're not
just this
human
meat suit but you are
more than that but it sort of
gets pushed into just like another
bucket
yeah well that's it right it's um
it's interesting i i want to make a

(01:10:00):
video at some point but my wife doesn't
want to help me because of course it
would require me to go and buy a dress
which you know terrifies her but at some
point i'd like to make a video of me
just standing
in a dress you know full chest hair and
all um and just say very clearly that i
am not a man wearing a woman's dress
i am a human being wearing clothing

(01:10:22):
because everything else is conceptual
everything else is an idea right that's
the whole thing is that like we have a
women's section and a men's section at
the clothing store
that's going to mess with you
right what's the difference
what is the difference outside of our
our roles and our ideas of what each
gender does and acts and and and whatnot

(01:10:42):
and so
it's very difficult when out when you
don't feel necessarily like you fit
the role that society has said is a
manner as a woman
and so
if you don't fit in that role and you
feel like you do fit on the other side
of the spectrum that they're saying is
the opposite gender unfortunately as
long as you identify you're going to
think well [ __ ] then i'm not in the

(01:11:03):
right gender i was obviously misassigned
i i'm i'm supposed to be over there
and it's like well you can do all the
things over there you don't have to
identify to do it those things aren't
for certain people
it's just certain people saying they are
right [ __ ] those people i mean at the
end of the day because you don't need to

(01:11:24):
listen to that like i i
i would find it more progressive
for
somebody who
is born a woman
to simply
continue
being who they are and dress the way
they want and not change their label
just to to just say straight up i'm not
my label

(01:11:45):
it's a real it's irrelevant i don't need
to be a trans man i don't need to be a
trans woman i don't need to be a man or
a woman none of this is relevant
at all the only way it's relevant is
biologically right the only way it's in
any way relevant is when it comes down
to birthing children
that's it that's the only time this

(01:12:06):
argument has any any validity whatsoever
is when we're trying to figure out who
has what bits that can create a human
child right like that's all we want to
know but up until that point
i mean love is love humans are humans
people are people it doesn't matter
whether they have you know something
that's tucked up inside or hanging down

(01:12:27):
it doesn't matter
what the biology is it doesn't matter
what the skin color is it doesn't matter
what the identity is all of that is
conceptual division that's a matter of
habit and convenience
right so if we can get past that i think
that we will find
people feeling a lot more free to just
be who they are without necessarily
having to switch their idea of who they

(01:12:49):
are
right just so other people can feel
comfortable that they have an idea of
who they are because that's really what
it comes down to isn't it we don't want
to let go of our idea of who we are
because we live in a culture that
thrives on
ideas yeah i mean it's all
just perceptions at the end of the day
and anything like you mentioned outside

(01:13:10):
of
you know birthing is
but it's become so much more in our
society it's like there's an infinite
amount of
labels in that way and it's
it's just wild that
it was
it's like a relatively
recent thing

(01:13:30):
that's been
accepted another you know we can get
into religions
take in that and uh participation and
reason
for that and those beliefs but it was
all based off of
this their perceptions and ideas and
it's another reason why religion's
pretty [ __ ] up is because they

(01:13:52):
a lot of them perpetuate
that idea of it not being okay
whatever you know however you feel or
whatever
way that you act or way that you
identify or don't identify or who you
love like
it's all
everything just is like we're just here
living on earth like

(01:14:14):
just being humans and outside of that
there aren't
needs for
these labels and yet they drive
our society and and we're finally i
think breaking through
some of them more recently but
it's crazy how long that they have
survived all of those judgments and

(01:14:36):
perceptions of
people being a little bit different
yeah well and i mean
as a species we go through cycles right
like we we have had
numerous renaissances you know like
there was um there was
ancient ancient greece which was like
before socrates which was you know

(01:14:56):
not
not uh the the greece that we envisioned
we were thinking about socrates and
plato and all that it was a totally
different thing they were very war-like
it was very tribal and then later on
greece had a renaissance and all of a
sudden they did have socrates and
philosophy and mathematics and all this
other stuff right and then went into the
dark ages
after that and then we had another
renaissance after that where we started

(01:15:17):
going into sculpting and inventing and
mathematics and philosophy and
everything else again and so i i think
that we're just coming back out of
another dark period of our human history
world war one and world war ii and
everything that's happened over the last
you know 300 years just because
again the mentality that dominated
european culture particularly um in
terms of colonization and expanding and

(01:15:39):
and you know world building as it were
um but
now we're coming to this point where
all the consequences are piling up
all of the consequences of how we view
ourselves and how we divide ourselves
and how how we
govern ourselves according to those
things
are
piling up and it's creating a need to
wake up

(01:16:00):
it's kind of like you know
being asleep while your room fills with
water
right eventually you're going to want to
wake up and catch a breath and go what
the hell is happening that's where we're
at i mean i live in british columbia i
don't know if you've been watching the
news
but british columbia had pretty much it
was just on fire all summer
and now it's underwater

(01:16:21):
there's been mass evacuations there
literally half the province is basically
underwater almost all the highways have
been
washed out the the railroad tracks have
been uh taken out of commission there's
like we're we're shipping uh
food and stuff around the province on
boats
that that's where we are right now right
and it's so very interesting because

(01:16:44):
we don't want to just deal
with why that's happening we just want
to make it go away
i think we just want to it's like no no
well you know that that's happening
because the weather's changing so why is
the weather changing let's talk about
that let's talk about why all of a
sudden in one of the nicest areas of the
world we're not getting the cool down
effect that we did over the summer or
that we normally do over the summers

(01:17:04):
because we're cutting down all the trees
right here let's talk about why
everything's flooding in the area that
it is oh because 100 years ago we came
in and drained a lake that was there and
moved all of the indigenous people off
that land so we could farm there and now
all of the place that we're farming is
underwater again and
a chief from the native tribe that used
to inhabit that area actually said well

(01:17:24):
yeah there was a lake there
it came back
right
but
but we ignore
what's happening in the world because we
have very fixated a very fixated idea of
what we want to happen and how it's
going to happen and so we get overly
committed to control
right and it's just about

(01:17:44):
no we're going to put a road here it's
like well you know the mountain's moving
it doesn't matter we'll just shave the
mountain off right
and so after enough time
of doing that now we have uh
farmland that's not growing food very
well because we just continue to till it
over and over and over again right we
have forests that aren't creating the
same amount of oxygen or or contributing

(01:18:06):
to the same amount of rainfall we have
all of these consequences that are
piling up
because we haven't been willing to to
adapt and we haven't been willing to
look at it we've been too absorbed in
the status quo and it's so bad now that
the governments are again
paying people to destroy food
on their farms they're paying people to
destroy

(01:18:27):
food just like they did in the
depression and it's to raise the price
of the food to keep the economy afloat
so this is how far removed we are from
reality i mean in the great depression
they were literally burying crops while
people starved so they could maintain
the price in the economy
this is how absorbed we are with this
game to the point where we're not even

(01:18:49):
thinking
in terms of reality anymore we're not
thinking like oh there's food there's
people hungry we should probably feed
those people we're thinking well yeah we
got to make sure we get the right dollar
amount for that physic why why why do we
need to do that right it's just like you
know in the depression they were
shutting down factories that that could
make useful things because they couldn't
pay the people to go and work it's like

(01:19:09):
i'm sure if you asked those people they
would say i don't mind working these are
useful things
right but that's not how we operate we
operate on this fictional story and
we're so committed to it that no matter
how badly it creates life for us no
matter how how much it contributes to
our general
unhappiness
we just don't know how to get off the

(01:19:30):
train
yeah
yeah damn
yeah i don't have a tv
so i don't
i'm not able to follow everything super
closely but
i do come across things like that here
and there but with
i didn't know that about burying the
crops like what was
the real was the reason to

(01:19:52):
you know this idea of the economy
staying alive like that was just deemed
more important than
anything like
what what would have
let's say for a second that they didn't
bury crops and the prices dropped
and that's not what happened right like
you think about it what happened was
inflation all of a sudden the dollars
were worth nothing

(01:20:14):
right and so they had to adjust the
value of the crops they had to adjust
the value of the dolphin right and so
there was all kinds of stuff that were
happening in order for them to do that
right so they had to do
to basically create it so that way crops
were worth more money
so that way people could pay money that
was worth less for them to contin to
keep the economy going and so they were

(01:20:34):
burying crops because supply and demand
right if there's less supply
the price goes up
and so they could charge more worthless
money
for the food
rather than paying people
or rather than feeding people
damn
yeah that
sort of reminds me of that video i sent

(01:20:54):
you about uh
hillary clinton talking about bitcoin
and cryptocurrency and how she was like
going on a rant about how it could
undermine society and blah blah blah and
be so horrible blah blah blah and it's
like yeah that's kind of the point like
that's why it's happening like that's
why people are getting behind it because

(01:21:15):
everything's [ __ ] and
although you have you know built your
livelihood off of this [ __ ] system
like
of course you're gonna rant about how
horrible it is if that
goes away but it doesn't mean that it's
a
bad thing for it to go away
exactly yeah it's bad for people who
benefit from the current power structure

(01:21:37):
right like that that that's really it
and so i mean that's always a good
indication is if if you want to know if
something's good or bad for humanity
just look at the the effect it has as
the at those in power right if they're
not happy with it typically it's
probably a good thing
yeah definitely yeah i always find that
so interesting and just when it comes to

(01:21:59):
i know we've talked about cryptocurrency
in the past but when it comes to
that when you see people and like
politicians on the news getting all
heated about it and bringing up all the
things about the energy which we've
discussed in the past and they never
mention anything about the current
system and all the energy that that uses
and they're just bringing up all this
[ __ ] to try and you know but they're not

(01:22:20):
like
they they still think they have
some power in it and who knows like it
is
a very
bolsterous and powerful system so at the
end of the day you never know what it
might be capable of but i feel like with
this
sort of
monetary and
value based revolution that i think it's

(01:22:42):
hopefully too big at this point for them
to
squash
and i think they're realizing that
that's why they're coming out being like
oh energy this and it's going to ruin
the system that
doing whatever they can to try and you
know say how horrible it is and but that
just reinforces people's vigor when it

(01:23:03):
comes to it they're like yeah it is and
[ __ ] you
exactly yeah i know it has too much
momentum now it's not it's not going
anywhere it's just going to evolve
from here on in the question is how is
it going to affect the world economies
right like
what hillary clinton was talking about
in that clip was the fact that
bitcoin is threatening to

(01:23:25):
unbalance
uh
the power structure that's been keeping
things the way they are since the 1950s
which is the u.s dollar being the world
reserve currency right the u.s dollar is
the currency that most of the world uses
as a form of exchange and so what i mean
is that
if germany wanted to buy something from
say australia

(01:23:47):
they would typically convert german
dollars to u.s dollars and then buy it
from australia
right so us dollars are typically the
world reserve currency it's what
everybody holds on onto in terms of
value so it's what most countries invest
in in terms of long-term bonds and so on
and so forth and so because of that the
united states has had
its its role as the leader of the world

(01:24:09):
for the last 70 years and it's largely
because they're the world reserve
currency everybody uses their money and
so everybody kind of count house to them
as a result of that well all of a sudden
bitcoin's coming in it's threatening
that entire structure you have countries
in south america that are actually
starting to supplement their economy by
holding bitcoin instead of us dollars
right like that's that's awesome and

(01:24:30):
then on top of that you have uh china
and russia which have been developing
their own
um
cross-country basically a currency so
that way they can they can trade with
one another without using us dollars and
so the us economy is in some serious
[ __ ] when it comes down to
the structure that it's used to being
shaken
which is awesome i think that's really
really good because at the end of the

(01:24:52):
day
the monetary system is by far one of the
biggest contributors to this this
horrendous machine continuing
it's just because you know we don't see
how we can get out of it out of this
without money which is so funny because
money is just a fictitious thing right
and so if we can get to a point where
and i think that this is going to happen
as a result of not just these

(01:25:14):
conversations but climate change um
governmental shutdown you know
increasingly corrupt governments things
like that that we're going to have
communities coming together realizing
that they can't necessarily
rely on shipments from south america for
bananas or shipments from you know
halfway across the world for watermelon
anymore that they have to start being
more self-sustainable start growing

(01:25:35):
their own food again start finding a way
to power their own community start
finding a way to be self-sustainable and
i think that as more communities do that
that's where that new form of
government's going to come from where
it's local and everybody works together
like the idea of having a cross-country
power grid
you know it doesn't make much sense when
it's one company or it's organized by

(01:25:55):
one structure but if you had a bunch of
communities working together to maintain
the power grid that'd be a totally
different thing right where each
community is responsible for their part
and then there's just more power being
put out into the world that then anybody
can use as a result of each community
being self-sustainable so that way you
wouldn't have problems like they had
down in texas in the summer where all of
a sudden it snowed

(01:26:16):
and everybody was screwed right it's
because there was one power company
and every other community was hooked up
to it right why not have community-based
power it's not like we can't
right but again how much power do we
need and that comes back down to our
over-indulgence in certain technologies
that that we feel entitled to rather
than actually need

(01:26:38):
yeah
yeah i
i we talk about that sort of perception
and identification quite a bit and
yeah i mean
i guess you never know when that shift
will
begin and maybe it's begun or it's
always
happening sort of to some degree it's
just the weight of it and whether or not
there's you know it gets to that tipping

(01:27:00):
point and i think there's sort of both
sides there's a side that we're on
having conversations like this and then
the other side of of that system just
kind of
getting
stronger but also
weaker at the same time and the more
conversations that are happening
the weaker than it gets but the stronger

(01:27:21):
it tries to be and because it's getting
wants to be stronger it's actually
getting weaker and standing on less
stabilities and i have you know
politicians talking about how
energy inefficient you know
cryptocurrency is it's just like a last
sort of straw to try and hold on to this
idea when it's not actually going to

(01:27:42):
stop or
change anything but yeah we'll uh i
guess we'll we'll see what happens
that's it it's uh it's an interesting
time to be alive that that is definitely
how i feel about it it's it's such an
interesting
period of uh
of our growth as a species or or our uh

(01:28:02):
experiences as an awareness
there is so much changing and there's no
way to know which direction this is
going to go and this is why i always
find it funny that
we try to
make the u.n will get together and we
have plans to 2050. it's like do you
because i don't know what's going to
happen tomorrow like it's just that's so
interesting that you have plans up until

(01:28:23):
2050 because
those plans are based on the mentality
you're in right now and i'm hoping
by 2050 we're not in this mentality
right like i'm hoping that we see
different solutions but we always commit
to this idea like you know whatever
solution we have and the mentality we're
in is obviously going to work because
you know every other solution we've come
up with in this mentality has obviously

(01:28:44):
worked so well that's why we have so
many problems right
it's like okay so let's focus on
getting
a different state of mind you know you
can't solve a problem from the same same
state of consciousness that created it
let's make that a societal priority
right let's change our state of
consciousness let's state change our
state of awareness but that means that
we actually have to have the

(01:29:05):
uncomfortable uh process of jettisoning
everything that didn't work
and a big portion of that is not just
the the monetary system there's the
education system because that needs to
go um there's the private penal system
that needs to go there's religion that
needs to go like there's this idea of

(01:29:26):
global government that needs to go all
of these things need to be evolved past
we have to come back and we have to come
to a point in our individual lives where
we are both aware and responsible and
then when we do that
that's what we're going to embody that's
what we're going to create but right now
we have a structure that's based on us

(01:29:47):
filling a role
that we are not responsible for and have
no awareness of we just fill that role
until we die
and then we wonder why
we built a system that's just fulfilling
a role until it dies
yeah yeah it's like we were talking
about last time it doesn't matter what
system you plug into this mentality if

(01:30:09):
you keep the same mentality and you know
you make plans for
20 30 years down the road in a certain
mentality to fix all the problems that
were created by the mentality that
you're in
what's gonna change it's gonna be the
same thing happening
over and over and over and over but i
guess if you're caught up in it and all

(01:30:30):
the people who are making all those
plans are benefiting from the mentality
then you know they'll just keep trying
to
make people feel like they're doing
something to the point that it satisfies
the
people who don't think they're doing
enough but it doesn't actually
necessarily change
anything and just perpetuates

(01:30:51):
the cycle like with that idea of
uh sucking out all the water from the
lake and farming it and then all of a
sudden it gets filled back up and no one
realizes that it used to be a lake it's
like no [ __ ] it's gonna fill back up at
some point like if it's in that sort of
level of sea sea level like the earth is

(01:31:12):
gonna overpower
our
idea of what we can control every single
time 100 of the time like we talked
about if all the humans died the earth
would over grow all of our cities very
very quickly and you see that sometimes
in certain parts of city like i see it
in parts of new york that just aren't
kept up as well and it might be only a

(01:31:34):
year that someone doesn't come and like
trim the hedges and all of a sudden it's
like there's a fence that's completely
overgrown
with with uh growth and and weeds and
all of that and it's like it
it will happen inevitably
yeah exactly exactly and it doesn't
matter how much we want to deny it it

(01:31:55):
doesn't matter
it's it's kind of like you know the
party's dying let's just accept that the
party is over but there's still people
who are like no let's keep it going it's
like you know like there's a turd in the
punch bowl let's just quit let's just
stop here right
um but again that's that's going to have
to happen collectively and i think it's
going to happen as a result of of this

(01:32:16):
and and
and necessity which is is something i'm
very curious to see how that plans it
plays out before we wrap up today
because i've received a lot of questions
and comments over the last week uh just
from people who've been listening to the
podcast and people have been watching
our clips on on social media i love the
fact that i'm getting so many messages

(01:32:36):
with just just great questions and and
the genuine intention to grow which is
what i i really enjoy about this and so
i just want to mention quickly before i
get into this topic that uh december 1st
and december 8th andrew and i will
actually be doing a free live group
group chat over zoom
the registration is on our website at

(01:32:58):
dualisticunity.com you'll find it in the
menu and registration is completely free
you can sign up for the first or the
eighth you do have to register
separately for both days and you can we
can fit up to 100 people and then we're
just going to chat with everybody for
about an hour and answer as many
questions as we can
on both days so if you're free
definitely register on our website we
would love to chat with you and answer

(01:33:19):
your questions if you have any but uh
back to what i was talking about
previously
i would somebody was asking me about
relationships and specifically they were
asking if we have any advice
regarding relationships and and i think
they're talking about romantic
relationships more than anything else
but
admittedly there isn't a great deal of
difference between friendships and

(01:33:40):
romantic relationships except of course
how those relationships turn out in the
long run but um there's the same dangers
and the same um strategies that are
involved in both in both types of
relationships so i figured we could just
cover cover that quickly but if you were
going to give somebody advice getting
into a relationship or even looking for
a relationship what would that advice be

(01:34:04):
man
uh this has always been a topic that i
sort of stay out of i don't know i just
i feel like everyone has an idea of what
romantic relationships are and i feel
like people think that romantic
relationships and friendships are
significantly different in our society

(01:34:24):
and everyone has an idea of it and
i feel like in my life
i don't know if i feel like
i don't want to downplay people who are
looking for a romantic relationship but
i think there's a degree of
questioning you need if you're looking
for a romantic relationship and if

(01:34:46):
you're looking for it like what are you
hoping to achieve from
getting one like are you is there a lack
inside of you that you're hoping to
fulfill through that relationship and if
that is the case then you need to work
on that lack on your own before you
come across a romantic relationship and
and i think i don't know it kind of ties

(01:35:06):
into
the idea of enlightenment or this this
path that you're on and this thing that
you're seeking like the only thing you
have to realize if you're seeking
enlightenment is to stop seeking like if
you're seeking a relationship my best
advice might be to stop seeking and just
be
you and

(01:35:27):
you know do things you enjoy live your
life be here now and things have a way
of playing themselves out and i think
there are people when i talk about that
because that'll sort of be my advice
most of the time when people say it um
that you know oh it's not that easy for
everyone like some people have to you
know look and they don't just have like

(01:35:48):
come across people randomly
and but i really do think that if you
are looking for a romantic relationship
there's typically
a reason and you're hoping to to get
something out of that and i think it's
really important to question why you
feel like you need a romantic
relationship and what lack are you

(01:36:10):
feeling that you feel like
you need it
so
yeah yeah absolutely i i i don't
disagree with that at all um
but on the other hand i also know that
when you are very much committed to your
idea of yourself and especially to the
idea that your value can be measured
um

(01:36:30):
you'll often need the validation from
people outside of you and so there
there really is a certain degree
of toxicity that comes simply from you
focusing on yourself which means the
needs that you perceive yourself to have
right if you perceive yourself to need a
partner
that perception is what's making your

(01:36:51):
relationships toxic
more or less right like
uh and i know this from plenty of people
i've dealt with in coaching situations
who have
both
went back to the toxic relationships and
some who have moved on and actually you
know managed it to find some degree of
happiness and peace within themselves
i've heard this expression that the
heart has needs that the head doesn't

(01:37:12):
understand
and while that's lovely poetically
unfortunately
the heart's needs are based on your
perception of yourself and your
relationship with the world right so
your emotional spectrum is going to
change based on how much of a division
you perceive how much of a lack that you
perceive based on that division

(01:37:32):
and so
it's like the expression that
a heart that's full in itself is very
hard to break
it's the heart that's not full in itself
that's fragile because it's requiring
somebody else to fill it up and if they
don't it cracks and it breaks and so as
long as you are feeling heartbroken as

(01:37:54):
long as you are feeling you're just
buried by by this this sense that you're
not good enough without that person's
love without that person's attention or
without another person to validate you
that's the problem that's going to make
every relationship fall apart
because there is a certain degree of
pressure that you're going to
unwittingly put on the other person

(01:38:16):
because of your need because of your
lack and that person
if you're lucky and they're not the kind
of person who wants to be needed because
that's often what happens when we're
needy we end up attracting the people
who are looking for that and then we end
up getting taken advantage of as a
result
of our need and us blinding ourselves to
the kind of person they are because they

(01:38:37):
they happen to appear like they they
fulfill those needs
right if you're not lucky enough to find
a person who isn't like that
then it's going to be very rough for you
but if you can find a person who isn't
like that then
you can get into a relationship with
them
if they recognize that you're working
through your need it's not that you have

(01:38:57):
to be completely free of your need to
get into a relationship but you have to
recognize it you have to just come to
terms with it because when you're
arguing with your partner if you are in
a relationship and suddenly you're like
you know well they're not living up to
what i want them to do that's you that's
you doing that you need to look at that
and look at why you have those
expectations and what you're trying to

(01:39:19):
fulfill within yourself and
in that moment you'll have an insight
about
what it is you're doing and why or
about the person you're with and the
fact that they're not
where you're supposed to be or who
you're supposed to be with but you
always have to be in that state of mind
where you're aware
that you're trying to fulfill yourself
through someone else because as long as

(01:39:40):
you're doing that it will always be in
danger it will always be something that
you're afraid of losing or that you need
and that's that's never as enjoyable as
it as it appears conceptually because
in any relationship you've ever been in
if you need that person to pay attention
to you and love you you're never at
peace
you're never truly happy right unless

(01:40:02):
they're fulfilling your your your
expectations which is again putting
pressure on them how long are they going
to do that before they start resenting
you whether they realize it or not
right so there's a lot that goes into
relationships and and
the biggest thing is remembering that
the relationship with yourself has to be
primary
if if you are not happy

(01:40:22):
with who you are not even happy if you
are just
not yet ready to come to terms with the
fact that you are who you are
you don't have to be anything else
then avoid getting into relationships
where you feel like you have to be
something else because it's going to
make it harder for you to find that
person
right but you know and i say this and i
understand that right but if i do that

(01:40:45):
then i'll meet somebody and
unfortunately it's just like
manifestation you can't let go of
something
to get that thing you're just lying to
yourself against you actually have to be
in a state of mind where you're okay by
yourself
and then you more than likely will meet
somebody and what's nice is that if you
don't or for as long as you don't you
won't care because you love yourself

(01:41:07):
that's the whole point and then when you
do meet somebody who's able to
appreciate your company they will see
you for who you are rather than who you
need them to see you as and that's a
relationship that's real
yeah it's like when people say
you know they're not who i thought they
were or like you're not who i thought
you were it's like i'm not even who i

(01:41:28):
think i am you know it's like
that that thought is just a perception
that's not who i am like i'm not
whatever thought you have about me
whether you
seemingly if i agree that you're right
or you're wrong it's still just a
perception and i remember
when uh one of the first times i was

(01:41:49):
took a higher dose of mushrooms and was
walking around new york uh i walked past
it was funny listening to conversations
as i was walking i think i might have
mentioned this on a previous episode
but i i heard this girl having a
conversation with a friend they were
walking along this uh pretty crowded
path and she was saying how she was uh

(01:42:10):
talking about her maybe it was a
previous relationship and she said i was
the perfect girlfriend and i remember
walking past and like
laughing out loud i think i was far
enough away they didn't know that i was
laughing about them i was just like
laughing to myself i was like
you saying that you think you're the
perfect girlfriend is
a perception of yourself that the that

(01:42:32):
you're viewing about yourself that you
think they
should think that you're also
the perfect girlfriend it's so far
removed from the truth that it's it's
like mind-blowing that you'd even say
something like that like that you think
like to have the audacity of saying that
you were the perfect girlfriend and also
that is completely subjective there's no

(01:42:54):
objective perfect anywhere or anything
like so how would you possibly know what
is perfect for someone else through your
perception it's impossible so sure if
you want to date yourself and and take
yourself on dates and be the perfect
girlfriend for yourself then like i
guess that might be a little bit more

(01:43:15):
fitting but to think that you're the
perfect thing for someone else
is absolute
absurdity
right but it implies that
they're the problem
not me
yeah right they just couldn't appreciate
my awesomeness
and and sometimes that's true
but typically if you're if if you are

(01:43:36):
awesome you're not the kind of person
who's going to say you're perfect for
someone else because you're too busy
being awesome for you
right so yeah no it's really interesting
and uh it's interesting the idea of
perfection we actually haven't gotten
into this and i've spent a lot of time
thinking about perfection because it's
something that a lot of us try to strive
towards

(01:43:57):
but
it's such a backwards concept right
because
let's just say that there was in fact
a perfect
physical appearance
exactly it was perfect symmetrical
beautiful the whole thing right
and everybody aspired to that perfect
appearance
and everybody managed to accomplish that

(01:44:18):
perfect appearance now everybody looks
the same
right
that doesn't sound very perfect so now
everybody's perfect appearance
is going to be changed slightly because
they want to have their own particular
flair of perfection they want to change
it up a little bit so they start adding
little imperfections so now all of a
sudden we go full circle to the point
where everybody's different and that's

(01:44:39):
perfection and so it's always the whole
circle again right so perfection is is
another concept that means nothing if
you look at it as superficial it means
you know the ideal of perfection if you
look at it further
imperfection is perfection
yeah that is very interesting how if we

(01:44:59):
got to that point that everyone looked
the same all of a sudden
you know i think
alan watts has a sentiment along those
lines of like dreaming up your perfect
life and if you were living your perfect
life and eventually you're living it and
it you know or you have total control or
something then all of a sudden you would
want to start mixing in

(01:45:20):
a little bit less control and then you
go down that rabbit hole and then you go
back to that until finally you come back
to the exact life that you're living
right now and for you know wanting to be
perfect it's like you if you were able
to live eternally and you got to this
ideal perfection all of a sudden you'd

(01:45:40):
start implementing little blemishes
until you go back and forth back and
forth until you look exactly like you do
right now and it's always just coming
back to the realization of what you are
and what you are is the here and now and
that's the only thing there is it's not
an idea of what is now it's not a
perception of what is now it's not a
concept of what is now it is

(01:46:01):
here now and that's that's it that's the
only thing you ever have to come back to
and it's what you always are
right isn't it funny how
all of our our problems are are very
much made worse by our over commitment
to avoiding what we are already
right and we just want to get an idea
about it and that's what messes us up we

(01:46:21):
want to get some idea of control and
some some semblance of of sway over it
and that's what messes us up because now
we're not we're not just drifting down
the river we're fighting the river
right now we're not just part of the
flow we're trying to inflate to cause
the flow to go in a way that we prefer
through our confusion because of course
if we have preferences we're obviously
confused

(01:46:44):
but that's that's the funniest thing
about it we really have to come to terms
just to that like just just the
sensitivity of understanding when we're
over committed to an illusion when we're
confusing ourselves because we're overly
caught up in this idea of i right if we
can do that then all of our
relationships are government the way we
run our communities everything we've
talked about in this in this episode
here changes

(01:47:04):
radically but it starts with
us yeah majority of our problems stem
from
our idea of ourself once if you are able
to peel that back and
and
get away from that and and realize
that you are the here and now there is
those problems a lot of them at least
majority of them if not all of them

(01:47:27):
kind of begin to fall by the wayside
yeah funny right we try and come up with
so many complicated answers to how to
fix the world but we have to address the
common root
which is us
we are the common root it's just like
you know it's like who created god well
we did right
who created the problems in the world or
we are we're doing it right and so if we

(01:47:49):
can't recognize how we're doing it how
are we going to fix it right and so the
first thing is always before a
relationship before you do anything is
to get some semblance of clarity in
yourself right it's uh
it was that there was a quote by tool if
you have no desire to heal the damage is
broken that alone
right so
that's the point and it's just focus on

(01:48:11):
why you're not healing focus on what
you're holding on to that's causing that
toxicity get out of your own way find
that clarity and then you'll experience
sensitivity and empathy and self-love
and all of these things that we have
concepts for but are really just
pointing at the reality of who you are
when you accept who you are
so yeah as always the one-step process

(01:48:31):
right yeah
exactly
so before we wrap up i just wanted to do
a quick announcement here i've already
mentioned the
live group shows that we're doing on the
1st and the 8th
on
in december
almost towards the end of december i
think it's going to be episode 13. uh
andrew and i are actually going to do an
entire podca podcast episode based on

(01:48:53):
the questions
asked by our listeners and our viewers
so if you have questions that you would
like us to address specifically in that
podcast please leave them in the
comments section below our videos here
on youtube or
comment on
our social media channels or you can
join us on patreon of course our patreon
supporters do get priority voting rights
over what we're going to be um

(01:49:15):
answering on that day but we're going to
try and get to everybody's questions as
best we can so definitely leave your
questions below and let us know what
you'd like us to chat about
looking forward to that i've done that
on my own podcast before and i do q and
a's frequently on my instagram story and
always enjoy them
enjoy the questions so i'm looking

(01:49:35):
forward to that episode quite a bit
that's awesome well this has been
episode nine um we're going into double
digits next week so that's exciting and
uh we just passed 100 subscribers on
youtube so i just wanted to say thank
you to everybody who's been following us
there and uh we look forward to the next
episode we'll talk to you soon all right

(01:49:56):
bye everyone

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC

Stuff You Should Know

Intentionally Disturbing

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S.1 Ep.9: The Fiction of ”Me”

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Dateline NBC

Stuff You Should Know

Intentionally Disturbing

All Episodes

S.1 Ep.9: The Fiction of ”Me”

Dateline NBC