March 18, 2025 • 40 mins
(3:07) - How's hockey, Rachel?
(9:36) - Can ANYONE enjoy cleaning as much as Dave?
(18:19) - Headlines we can't make up, but CAN round up!
(31:54) - YOUR comments & voice memos!
Calves for a Cause is back at the Canadian Dairy XPO in Stratford April 2nd - an annual charity sale raising funds for the Children's Health Foundation.
**PARTNER WITH US!**
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Oh come on, you didn't have a beer.
I had a beer, but I didn't shotgun it and open it with my
skate. This is due to underwhelming
demand. The podcast that may be that may
be the perfect cure for your Saint Patrick's Day hangover.
(00:22):
Ah, yes. Although I'm pretty sure there's
a good chance that it'll make your headache worse, so.
Keep. I actually am interested in how
you are going to feel the day after Saint Patrick's Day,
David. You know I.
Know you love to go out? I do and I enjoy Guinness, which
(00:43):
is a foreman will know this. It's a very light beer.
It is only 4%. Yeah, if you're drinking
Guinness, you're fine. You'll be fine.
Yeah, you can only handle a couple.
You'll you'll be fine. It's like a meal.
Yeah, not a lot of alcohol. It's.
Like a meal. Anyway, this fine podcast is
(01:05):
brought to you by the fine people who run calves for A
cause. Yes, Calves for A Cause is back
at the Canadian Dairy Expo in Stratford.
Their live sale is happening April 2nd at 7:00 PM in the We
Cover Cow Coliseum, also online at dlms.ca.
What is it called? The We what?
(01:26):
The We cover Cow Coliseum. The We cover Cow Coliseum I.
Don't know what that is. Is that just that?
Seems, well, it seems like the perfect place.
That's all I know. Sure.
Yeah, you're gonna it's. The name of the building.
Right. Well, it works.
Yeah, it does work. 7:00 PM on the on the 2nd on.
The second, yeah, that's the live sale and they have the
frozen genetic sale. If you're not in, you're not
(01:48):
into a full calf yet, but you want to have one on on your farm
eventually. The frozen.
And a good one. And a good one, yeah, because
they only take what, the Top 40 or something, something like
that. Top. 40 in North America, Yeah,
you got to have one on standby. OK, tariff free here in Canada?
Yeah, sure. The frozen genetic sale closes
April 3rd online at farm gate. Timed auctions?
(02:11):
Check. Out the Sale Calf Parade April
1st at 7:00 PM. OK, wow, coming up soon.
Even on Facebook Live, you don'teven have to be at the Canadian
Dairy Expo or whatever the name of that building is.
The We cover Cow Coliseum. That's right.
And this is all to raise money for Children's Hospital at
London Health Sciences Center here in London, which of course
(02:33):
has children from all over the region come here when they need
it and it's a great place. Daryl and Sarah Marcus started
Cabs for A Cause and since the beginning they have raised over
$150,000 for Children's Hospital, which is.
That's amazing. Just.
Amazing. Yeah.
So if you're going to buy a cow or genetics or you might as well
buy it from them. Of course it's for a good cause.
(02:53):
And they've been doing this so many years now that they've
started to have 100% donation embryos result in a 100%
donation calf for this year's sale.
I don't even know. What that means?
But I am on quiet, say Rachel. How's the hockey playing going?
Oh, well, the hockey, it's going, it's going.
(03:15):
Yeah, we, we're about halfway through now, our little season.
And so now, yeah, we got 10. Seconds deadline pass because
I'm wondering, yeah. I'm wondering.
Deadline are you? Still on two teams.
Are you still on the same team? Because yes, I'm I'm curious if
anybody wants to unload you. No, they didn't trade me away.
(03:35):
I'm still on the purple team. There's purple and there's
white, so I'm purple. All right, That and #17 OK.
That's what I understand if you made it through the trade,
trade. Deadline, I guess so like I'm
not very helpful in playing so. You're not really trade, really.
Then you're no, nobody really wants me, I don't think.
I think Purple's just kind of stuck with me now.
(03:57):
I think that's, yeah, I don't think anybody really wants me.
But now that I go, so now all ofour, we had a couple of 7:00
games in the evening, but now it's all 9:00.
So we go from 9:00 and it's an hour and a half.
If you recall, there was a vote about that and everybody voted
to extend another half hour. So instead of nine to 10:00 PM,
(04:21):
it's 9:00 to 10:30. So.
Late it is. So late.
Most of us come in at like 8:20 to get ready and we're all like
we had to have naps on the couchto make it through the next like
3 hours because we're so tired. And then you go home after and
I'm up till like one in the morning.
Yeah, you're wired. That's the worst thing.
(04:41):
It's ridiculous. At least it's a Friday night,
though. At least it's a Friday.
Yeah, if it was during the week,I don't think I would be going
at all. So here's my take from hockey.
Because this week I came home. And I.
Yeah, here's my take. A hot take.
No, it's not a hot take. I mean, no, it's not a hot take.
(05:03):
It's just my take. I'm actually starting to enjoy
it. Oh, really?
Yeah, I'm starting to enjoy it alittle bit more.
What part of it do you enjoy? Being out on the ice, like, like
skating around. I'm getting more confident with
skating. I'm getting better at it.
I'm not fast. So when I'm, you know, try and
(05:24):
get to the puck, there's always somebody faster than me who can
scoop it up. Isn't that a bitch?
So it's a real bitch. Yeah, It's a real.
I'm like, oh, and then I get it or I can't get it.
I'm like, well, and I always have a comment.
I'm like, you gonna keep your mouth shut?
Like everybody can hear you stopit.
Like it's not a bad comment, butI'm like, wow, you're fast Or
oh, I missed it or, you know, I'm.
(05:46):
You should probably mic me up one day.
Yes. We're missing what I would like.
The play by play from Jeremy andthe miked up Rachel.
Yeah, that would be it at all. That would be awesome.
Actually, we were gonna mic our our goalie and have her have her
do it one day, but we haven't done that either.
So, okay. So listen, do you, does Jeremy
have hockey on it at home? Does he put it on?
(06:08):
Are you there when he's got hockey going?
Sometimes, yeah. Yeah, usually.
Are you starting to get more interested in watching hockey on
TV? No, but I see them do things and
then I'll say to Jeremy I can dothat.
And he's like, OK, OK, no, you can't.
Look at them, handle that puck. I can do that.
He's like, OK, you can't. Is Jeremy what is he a like a
(06:31):
leaf fan or? Yeah, he likes the Leafs.
Yeah, OK. So are you familiar with a
couple of Can you throw a coupleof Leaf players?
Sure. Mitch Marner, Austin Matthews.
OK. And the one that's married to
Tessa Virtue. OK, that's, yeah, 44, but I
forget. It's Morgan Riley.
Morgan Riley. Thank you.
OK, so Morgan Riley, Austin Matthews, Mitch Marner, which
(06:56):
one would we compare you to? I.
I'm I'm like Mitch, I think. Yeah, and and in in what way?
I don't, I don't know. Really, really fast.
Yeah, I'm. Pretty good with the puck like
that's why stick handling. Do you see where the other
(07:17):
players are so that you can immediately?
No, but I'm starting to notice that if I'm going to pass the
puck to someone, I'm like, I better look around and see if
there's a purple somewhere, right?
Because often somebody will shoot and it's not always just
me. We shoot away, like to get it
away and nobody's down there. Yeah, no, you don't want to do.
That you just gave it to the other team, would you?
(07:39):
Now, now that you're an expert on a, that you're an expert on
hockey and you play it on a regular basis, would you have
spotted the greatest hockey player in the NHL all alone in
front of the net in a crucial game against your hated rival,
the USA, as Mitch Marner did? He did that.
(08:03):
All right, I think we're done. I've.
Been watching a lot of hockey. No, I wasn't thinking.
I think my husband would maybe compare me to Kneelander because
he's generally yelling at Kneelander for doing something
stupid. I think so I don't, I don't
know. But anyway, my, my take from
hockey is that I'm kind of enjoying it now because I, I was
really ready to quit at the beginning and, and I.
(08:26):
Think that's. No, now I'm like, OK, like
everybody kept saying, well, if we do this next year, I'm like,
I'm not doing this next year. I'm getting through this now.
You are not. You have all the stuff though.
Yeah, I don't really have all the stuff.
You might as well. You might as well carry on your
career. Why?
If I'm that good, if I if by week 10 I'm thinking I'm as I'm
(08:46):
on cloud 9 about it fine. What week are we on?
I think we've done five OK or 6 maybe.
We'll give you some time. How many goals?
Do you have none for me? How many assists?
Nope, no, I don't have any of those either.
I don't think you're Mitch Marner and I, I don't think
you're Austin Matthews. You might be Morgan Riley.
(09:09):
I have no idea. It's more like Kneelander I
think. Think Kneelander.
Kneelander Norman, what do you think?
Yeah. I think all of Rachel's traits
sound exactly what the Leafs need.
Yeah. Yeah.
Put her on the team, please. This is due to underwhelming
(09:37):
demand. The podcast.
That's like the first day of spring.
Something we all look forward to.
Except we personally don't smelllike thawed dog poop.
I'm just saying, as far as I know anyway, I haven't really
been in the same room with you guys for a while.
I'm pretty sure I don't. I'm hoping.
No, I don't think I do. Sure I don't.
(09:59):
Hey, I, I by the way, I, I and Iknow you were just supposed to
do a great segue for. Like I was just going to mention
my whole backyard is actually full of rabbit shit so.
What? Oh, 'cause you have so much a.
Lot of that in my yard too. We have a.
Lot of rabbit. We have cats roaming around.
Oh God, it's yeah, no Roosters. What's What's the rooster?
No, we don't have the rooster, no.
(10:20):
OK, anyway, I just wanted to point out I I do have some
headlines coming up coming up, Ihave some headlines for Foreman.
Yeah, first you have this great,great Segway and I can't wait to
hear it let. Me put you on the spot.
(10:40):
Yeah. Try and make something out of
that dog's breakfast. Well, some people might actually
enjoy cleaning up that dog's shit more than petting the dog.
I could do it I. Impressive.
Yeah. What the?
Hell, we gave. You absolute shit to work with
and you. Still.
Made. Gold.
(11:01):
Yes, I. Mean some people enjoy what?
Well, there's new research uncovering the fact that say 37%
of participants felt better, a full third, almost like 4-4 and.
Ten, Yeah. Close.
Yeah, they felt better cleaning the toilet then they did petting
(11:22):
puppies. No, before you even said
puppies, I knew whatever it was was no, I would not put.
Better toilet. It can't be more enjoyable than
anything. Nope, that's ridiculous on a
second. It is ridiculous.
Why would you clean the toilet? No.
Sometimes. How would you?
How would well. I have cleaned the toilet.
Currently I have a cleaning lady.
(11:42):
You are so hard done by. I know currently I have a
cleaning lady. Must be nice up very nicely.
Thank you very much. It must be nice.
It must be. Nice, yeah.
I find it far more enjoyable to soil the toilet, but.
What's wrong with you, farmer? I mean, if you have to choose
(12:05):
one or the other, I'd rather siton.
It. That's way too much information.
Yeah. Nobody can enjoy cleaning over
playing with puppies. Like what is wrong with Ms. You
can only a. Sort of people.
I wouldn't say I'm fully responsible for cleaning the
house because I screw it up a lot and I'm told that on a
regular basis, but I do do the the majority of the cleaning at
(12:32):
all but the majority of the cleaning and I actually I would
rather clean than pet puppies any day.
Well, hypothetically. Hypothetically cute cute little
puppies to pet Here Dave, play with these puppies for 20
minutes You don't find that moreenjoyable than cleaning a toilet
I. Don't choose.
To clean a toilet versus playingwith a bunch of puppies.
(12:52):
I would choose to clean. I enjoy cleaning.
I do. I'm sorry, there's a certain
satisfaction. That you.
Get that, that when something, Imean around here at my place, I
like, I, I clean on a regular basis.
And what happens is I get it clean and I just go like, I
stand back and I go, it looks great.
(13:16):
It looks great. I have everything back in place.
I have everything out. I've cleaned everything.
I have everything back in place.And then a teenage daughter
comes downstairs and decides to make a sandwich and it's, it's
screwed. Everything's screwed and
everything's dirty. And then someone comes home from
work and walks, forgets to take off maybe their shoes.
(13:39):
And then I go, well, why did I do all of that?
So yeah, maybe give me a puppy, but I it doesn't make it any
better. Well, there's there seems to be
too many people like Dave because not only is it like a
third or four and ten of us willfeel better about cleaning a
toilet than petting a puppy, petting a puppy only felt 5%
(14:00):
better for these participants than cleaning a toilet.
Yeah, what? Petting a puppy just.
Because people have the satisfaction of cleaning, it is
so good. Petting a puppy only feels about
5% better than that. And especially.
If it's. Not my If it's not my puppy, why
am I petting it? Well, you just, you know,
(14:21):
somebody has a litter of puppiesfor you to play with.
It is my house and I'm cleaning it so I'm very.
There is some satisfaction to cleaning.
I get that. I am more satisfied when I'm
like tidying up, think clutter and stuff that's that to me is
more satisfying than actually scrubbing things.
I would rather. Tidy how much clutter a group of
puppies would leave in your house.
(14:42):
Well, I only want them there for20 minutes.
You're spending way too much time on the logistics of the
puppies and who belong to and where.
They came from Why do we? I know because I know it'll
drive you crazy. And no, I don't need to be
cleaning. But there, I mean, there are
some people who love cleaning. I get that it's satisfying.
I like to watch the clean cleaning videos on TikTok
(15:06):
because I find them satisfying the before and after.
Watch people clean. Yeah, I don't want to have to
get my hands dirty with stuff. That's why you have a cleaning
lady. Do you sit there with your feet
up and watch her all day? No, I don't, but I should
because that would give me some that would give me.
That should be exactly what you do.
Well, I'm usually paying for someone out of the house.
(15:26):
If you pay someone to come into your house and clean, why aren't
you camped out and watching her with your feet up like this?
Why are you doing? That I would never do that Why
would you You're. Paying for it.
That's exactly what I would do. I'm paying.
For a show, you're paying for just the service of the
(15:46):
cleaning. Oh my God.
Is her name Cinderella? Then yes.
If it is, you can watch. No, I'm not suggesting that this
is someone you're paying good money to.
Like people enjoyed wiping coffee rings off the counter as
much as getting your nails done or having your favorite latte or
(16:08):
tea. You enjoy cleaning away gunk and
grime from the sink as much as having a favorite beverage.
No. I wouldn't go that far.
The act of wiping the kitchen counter feels 6% better than
getting a massage. I.
(16:28):
Do appreciate having. Urological results where they
hooked this stuff up to people'sbrains.
Really. OK, so it's just as satisfying
then. Just as satisfying.
Having everything clean is satisfying or seeing the before
and after and you, you know, that's, that's satisfying.
Let me ask you who I'm doing it.No.
When you cut the grass, how do you feel after?
(16:52):
Good, bad, indifferent. Find that it's over.
Yeah, it's done. It looks.
Good. Are you one of those people who
go, why do we have grass? Why is it there?
Why do I keep cutting it? Why just cut it and then I have
to cut it again? Yes, the satisfaction is always
weighed with like Jesus. That took a long time.
(17:16):
Yeah, that's. True.
That's where, you know, no offense, but that's where your
favorite beverage comes in hand,so he just get after you.
Take that with you. You need a little cup holder on
your lawnmower. That's exactly.
You need it in a helmet and a straw.
Helmet with a straw with a straw.
I'll be that guy. That's satisfying.
(17:54):
This is due to underwhelming demand.
With Dave, Rachel and Foreman, the podcast that lives up to its
name, we are still just as underwhelming as ever.
Yes, we set the bar low so that your expectations are low.
If you expected more, that's your fault.
Is your fault. That's right on you.
(18:15):
That's on you, not on us. Okay.
By the way, it's time for headlines.
Yeah, headlines. All right, It's been a while.
Actual headlines. These are real headlines.
I don't make these up. I don't have to.
No, they're actual headlines. Thank you Foreman for
contributing. Foreman sends me headlines on a
regular basis and makes my day. Yes, he does.
(18:38):
I'm not sure which of these are yours for them, and you'll
probably remember some of them, but I appreciate you.
Thank you. Real headlines.
Here we go. These are headlines we'll start
with. Photographer says fight between
bald eagle and Canada goose quote very symbolic.
That's an actual headline. Hello.
(19:00):
Especially because after 20 minutes the eagle gave up and
the goose won. Yes.
El goose up El goose. Up El Goose win.
That's why we're terrified of them.
Just. So, you know, and stick out your
neck. Yeah, if.
You're American. That's right.
Here we go. Local headline.
Love this one. Woodstock hockey coach faces
(19:21):
several charges including assaulting police after being
tossed from a game featuring 7 year olds.
Now I heard the back story of this because my husband is from
Woodstock. Okay, do we need the back story?
It's not good. It's not good.
No, we don't need to. Then we don't.
(19:42):
It makes it less funny. Okay, well then let's not go to
the backstop. Please don't do.
The back story, yeah. Okay, well he may have something
something in common with this guy.
Accountant and quote certified joy enthusiast allegedly tries
to kill a person for sitting on a park bench next to him.
What? Real.
(20:03):
Headlines again, maybe some anger management issues not.
Very joyful. No, not joyful at all.
No help this certified. What is this certified Joy
enthusiast, by the way? I don't think you.
Actually don't think he's enthused by Joy because.
Clearly, anybody kill somebody, clearly anybody can get that.
Yes, who's who's? Addition are certification.
(20:26):
Yes, exactly. It's like becoming a life coach,
you know? That's right.
You know anybody? I guess having good sex can
lower your risk of cancer. OK.
That's a study that was commissioned by men.
That's an actual headline. Get on it.
I'm just. Assuming I'm just assuming.
Either a very good or a bad headline, depending on your
(20:48):
assuming. Yeah, OK.
How was that a bad headline? Well.
Maybe if you're not having it, having good sex, then it's.
Well, one incentive to have just.
Keep. Trying.
Until you have good sex. And yes, consent.
Consent, Yeah. That's right, an alarming number
of people are mistaking nail glue for eye drops.
Oh gosh. What?
(21:11):
Headlines. So that we don't need to read
this headline again, maybe keep your nail glue and eye drops in
different areas. Yes, perhaps a good idea that.
Might help that might. Help I.
Think it's April Fool nail thingso.
I don't know, unless it's April.Fool, could you even imagine?
Oh my. Man, man named Man named Weiner.
(21:32):
Arrested there. After a crashing car then
fleeing the scene naked, yes, itall plays out.
Don't. You think?
Yeah, Weiner. Headlines.
Yes. Thanks Wieners, at it again.
There he goes. Thanks.
Must be called Wiener turns out.Who's the joy enthusiast?
(21:53):
No. Yeah, exactly.
Turns out AI is more empathetic than Allstate insurance reps.
That's an actual headline. Well.
That's good to know. I.
Don't know what to make of that,but that it feels right.
Who's the life coach now? Speaking of, everything comes
full circle. That's right.
Not Allstate Tennessee man Tennessee man shot by his dog
(22:18):
while lying in bed. Oh my headlines I.
Saw that even the police couldn't piece together what
actually happened. Police can't really figure out
what happened there. They can't even.
Figure loaded gun right there. Yeah, who knows?
Dummy. OK.
Judge rules Saskatoon man with 114 criminal convictions What is
(22:44):
a dangerous offender? You think?
Real headlines. Fool me 113 times.
Not anymore. That's it.
That's the limit. 113 Times Now.Now.
You've done. It Mr. Now.
You're getting it now. You've done it.
Fire. Fire destroys Calgary pet
(23:06):
crematorium. Oh no.
Well. That's an actual.
Headline to get started inside. I just want to know like did a
lot of pet, did a lot of pet just.
Think about that for a minute. I don't know.
I think they're already dead there.
Well, it's agreement. To say seems like anyway,
(23:27):
doesn't it, right? I'm not going to explore it.
Anymore, I'd rather pet the living puppies that's.
Right, OK, good. All right.
Would you rather pet dead? Puppies, yeah.
OK. Or clean up that mess, David.
No no no, Texas game warden busts man hunting in a porta
potty converted into a deer blind.
(23:51):
Apparently you can't do the. Headlines.
You. Can't you have to have a real
deer blind? Yes, you can't stick a porta
potty right? You.
Can't like who? Can't what?
Not in apparently. Not in Texas.
I don't know. Maybe.
Maybe. I mean if you can have.
I don't know. I don't know, I guess.
For those that have seen the show, it was that Frank from
Shameless. I have no.
(24:11):
Idea that. Could be it could be a few
headlines from around the world because I love those W
Australian premier labels US vice president a knob.
Real headlines. Correct.
So has the. Rest of the world, I'm not I'm
well. So has the rest.
Suggested that one, yeah. Nothing brings the entire world
(24:33):
together than. Donald Trump, Qatar Airways
defends sitting corpse next to acouple.
Oh, Oh my God. That's an actual headline.
Well. What's in In their defense, this
corpse wasn't a corpse when the flight started.
Oh. Boy, I think she boarded the
(24:55):
plane and. OK.
I'm sorry. Somebody died on board and you
didn't have an emergency landing.
What's wrong with you? UK police officer has a
misconduct hearing after fartingin another officers face.
Headlines you told them for. That that's you told.
On here for that. You farted on yeah.
(25:17):
Exactly. That's every sibling everywhere.
Yeah, exactly. The officer who complained
didn't have a sibling. Did he?
Were you not a kid at some point?
Exactly. Animal headlines.
Here we go. Possum eats an entire Costco
cake and requires treatment. Real headlines.
I mean, same What? Yeah, what can?
(25:38):
You say possum, Yeah. UK man blows up cat that was
inside his birdhouse. Oh God.
That's. Terrible.
That's an actual headline. Couldn't get him out, had to do
something. OK.
Police in England. Speaking of cats, police in
England looking for someone shaving people's cats.
(25:59):
That's not right. Headlines.
OK, that's odd. Like you mean shaving like?
Nothing, nothing. Just their cat.
The cat. Only using the word we.
Won't even go there. We won't go there, woman.
I'll just keep going. Woman goes viral for grocery
(26:22):
shopping with her enormous Raven.
Real headlines. Headlines.
You should have seen that coming.
I mean, I guess is that the one that takes all the notes to the
other Kingdom of? No.
OK, Researchers in Morocco discover.
Yeah, researchers in Morocco discover new type of fly larvae
(26:45):
that has a face on its butt. Wow, that's an actual headline.
That's what that other cop called the one other cop, right?
That's. Right.
Look, I got a face on my butt. You got a face for your butt
fart farted. Don't fart on my face.
Yeah. All right, off to Florida.
Here we go, Florida. OK.
Going on yes, Florida, Florida Man, Florida Man's vacuum heist
(27:10):
kind of sucked. Headlines.
I just really like that one. It's not particularly funny, but
it's well written. It's clever.
It's clever. Yeah, I appreciate that.
Yeah, Florida man riding lawnmower crashes into several
mailboxes. Real headlines it's.
Like every day in Florida. Yeah.
I mean like that's isn't that like?
(27:30):
Probably naked and drunk. It's.
Tuesday. In Florida, sure, yeah.
Oops, Florida woman admits vandalizing X's vehicle, but she
got the wrong car. Oh yeah, you got to make sure.
That's an actual. Headline got to make sure.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
OK Florida man accused of swallowing $770,000 worth of
(27:55):
diamonds from Florida Tiffany's.Headlines, you just shovel them
in there like what do you do? I don't have that.
Let me take these and. They don't, I don't think.
I don't think they come out easily.
I don't think so either. There's no way that they come
out. You didn't.
There's no comfortable way that those come out.
(28:15):
You know what I'm saying? No.
There's just I know what you're.Especially since police will be
standing by waiting for them allto come out.
That's right. That's exactly right.
That's. Right.
Florida man arrested after driving recklessly and leaving
his truck to dance on US1 while wearing only a construction hard
hat. Real headlines.
(28:37):
There's. Just, I'm sorry, can you read
that one again? That's a.
Movie. I think there's a movie there.
Florida man arrested after driving recklessly and leaving
his truck to dance on US1 while wearing only a construction hard
hat. That's the YMCA video the.
Truck because he wanted to dance, or the truck he was
dancing. He's a Why?
(28:58):
OK, I see. So he got out to OK.
Yeah, that's right. Florida Florida Man put down If
you're eating, put down whateveryou're eating.
Florida man arrested for odd behavior with a Chucky doll.
Oh. That's an actual headline.
Buddy, why? Florida man.
(29:21):
Florida Man arrested again Florida man arrested for being
half baked and half exposed at Stoner's Pizza.
Headlines. I mean if there was a place
again. You know it should be surprised
you're. Asking for.
It just Monday isn't. That stoner's pizza is yeah,
(29:44):
right. Florida woman attacks Florida
man with a Florida Pringles can.Real headlines.
What's a Florida Pringles can just from Florida?
A Pringles can bought in Florida.
Oh, OK, OK. I thought it was like special
kind. That's not enough.
Yeah, Florida woman assaults Florida man with Florida dildo.
(30:07):
Oh. Ouch.
K. That's an actual headline.
How? How though?
Was it like the Chucky doll thing or?
Too many, too many questions. This is due to underwhelming
(31:02):
demand. We are Dave, Rachel and Foreman,
and we've reached the point in the podcast where we beg you, we
plead with you to contact us, get a hold of us, sponsor us,
Spank. No, that's part of.
Interact with us in any way. Thank you.
(31:22):
That's. The part I miss most about the
radio, I miss that. That's the part I miss most
about doing a radio show is the interaction and you can talk to
people right then and there and that was fun.
I liked that. However, you are still
interacting with us, which is amazing.
You can go to our website underwhelming.ca, very easy
there to get a hold of us, buy us a coffee, sponsor us,
(31:44):
whatever you want to do. So you can also e-mail us Dave,
rachelforman@gmail.com and then get a hold of us anywhere on
social media. Go, Rachel, Go.
OK, well Sherry has gone to our website underwhelming.ca and
sent us a message there on our contact form.
You can do that on our website, she says.
Listening to episode 114. We were once woken up by our
(32:06):
connected smoke CO2 detectors. Turns out when your dog shits
through the eye of a needle, it can trigger alarms, flashing
lights and very loud sirens withthem.
Yelling fire fire at 2:00 AM wasso much fun.
And to top it off, our spare bedroom looked like a poop crime
scene. I don't know what that meant.
I don't know how your dog pooping sets off the alarms.
(32:28):
I don't understand that. I didn't.
Recall you didn't recall talkingabout that, but Forman you did
talk about. Forman's dog that he's.
Forman's dog did that, yeah. Absolutely pooping.
Yeah, violently in the middle ofthe night and it's disturbing.
It's loud. You have no idea what's going
on. Clearly your smoke detector
doesn't know what the fuck is going on.
(32:49):
Oh my God, sure. How does that set off the smoke
and CO2 alarms? No idea that bad.
I don't. I don't.
Want to know? I don't know.
But also, Sherry, thank you for the three coffees you sent us as
well. Oh, that's funny.
Thank you so much. She you said I was so sad when
you guys left the morning show. I missed your funny banter and
(33:09):
I'm having so much fun listeningto you now.
So wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for listening and please tell your friends.
Thank you to the other someone who wanted to remain anonymous
for buying us 5 coffees. Sherry bought us 3, someone
bought us 5. Loved the podcast.
Hope you keep doing what you're doing.
And now there's someone bought us a coffee.
Love the podcast, keep up the great work.
(33:30):
So thank you. Oh wow, thank you very much.
We have a message from Denise. This was about when Foreman
talked about how Tylenol sucks, she says.
I just listened to your latest podcast.
I had to let you know that Advilbrand sells a Duo tablet that
combines ibuprofen and acetaminophen together and I
have found that this works the best.
(33:51):
This is just my opinion and personal experience.
I also have to let you know how much I enjoy listening to you
guys. I look forward to it every week
from Denise. Thank you very much.
Well, thank you, Denise. I don't know, they sell the Duo
tablet. Yeah, that won't work for you,
for him, because half of it is now Tylenol, which you abhor.
Yes, you've just made it half aseffective now.
(34:12):
Well, I think they have photos of.
Each waste. Well, you can take them
together, I'm pretty sure. Ask your doctor about that.
I don't. Thank you for your dangerous
medical. Our medical advice is sound.
Yours very questionable. Sound.
OK, we asked a few episodes ago,how many photos do you have on
your phone? Yes I had the most was well over
(34:35):
4600. That's not the most compared to
other people who have been listening to us.
Great on TikTok. Someone with the name Smell?
That's a great name. With one L only one L Yeah, 1L
has 31,934 photos and videos. Well done.
(34:58):
B. How large is your phone?
Like the storage on it? Large how?
Much storage do you have on yourphone?
That can't be. That's on the cloud.
Megan on Instagram has 33,540. 2OK, I need to know how you make
that work because I need that I need.
She says it's very silly on my part but I do have them all
(35:20):
backed up on an external hard drive.
So 33,000 photos times 2. Basically you have. 2 copies of
that. There you go, that's.
Still not the most. No.
Wow. No, because Jennifer has 57,963.
Here we go. Ouch.
(35:41):
You guys must have the cloud right?
Like. Shut.
The front door I can't. There's too many pictures in too
many. Yes, there's too many pictures
in the way. OK.
I need to know how you're doing that because I need to up, I
need to increase my storage capacity.
You're doing something wrong, Rachel.
Yes, well, I bought like 5 gigs of the cloud and again I don't
(36:02):
know how to get them off the cloud.
So I didn't buy anymore because because it maxed out
immediately. So as soon as Speaking of
Rachel. Doing things wrong.
Remember how Rachel doesn't haveany undershirts and wears
sweaters without anything underneath like a mad person?
Yeah, I wear a bra, but OK. Yeah, well, Mandy has commented
(36:22):
on TikTok as well, saying wow, Ineed to wear my security tank
every single day since the year 2001.
OK, security tank. In 2001, we wore tank tops under
everything. That was just like the style.
She still does. OK, sure.
You're 2001 security tank. I get it.
(36:44):
Yeah, sure. OK, yes, somebody told me
actually recently in person, they said I wear one all the
time, but it's like a smoothing tank top.
I said OK, well that I get that.Sure it's.
A smoothing. Like Spanx, Like a Spanx tank
top kind of thing. Yes, this also has the same
effect. It's.
A cotton form and it can't be that great.
(37:05):
I don't think you want a Spanx one form, and you really don't.
A Manx. Thanks.
A minx. A Minx.
Yeah, you can also do it. Underwhelming not CA is.
Buy us a coffee, but also leave us a voice message.
Yes you can, anytime. And before we get to that voice
message, by the way, I have a message message.
(37:27):
Message message message message.Message OK, Message OK from.
Scotty, one of us is still on the radio.
Obviously me from Scotty on the same topic who says if I wear an
undershirt under AT shirt I now have two dirty shirts.
Exactly. I'm probably still washing my
(37:51):
shirts. I watch them every time.
You don't. You just don't.
Maybe for some of us you do. I don't know, yeah.
I do. I don't know what you're doing.
I don't know what you're doing under your shirt, but you should
only ever once. Well, I just feel like it's not,
it's not fresh anymore, you know, like.
Sure. That's fresh enough, OK.
OK. I guess so.
Now we also have a voice memo from Scotty.
(38:14):
Perfect. It's been a.
While Scotty, where you been? Double your fun, Here we go.
Hello, it's me again. I just listened to the latest
episode. So you found frozen breast milk
in your or I guess your mother found some old breast milk in in
the deep freeze. Now, how is that packaged up?
(38:35):
Is it in, is it in bags or is itin like a couple of big jugs?
Just an odd question, Rachel, That's cool that you're letting
your kids watch different shows and stuff now.
And and I don't think they're too scared.
Might I suggest like to ease them in a little further?
Try maybe Avengers Infinity War and see how they handle the last
(39:00):
10 minutes or so of that movie. Yeah, sorry, I would have called
sooner, but I was waiting for the musical break of four.
Minutes to end. It took a little while.
All right, talk to you later. Bye.
Thanks Scotty. Scotty, I just you know, for the
next time. Next time you voice messages.
(39:21):
I would have started maybe with the musical break, then Rachel
and ended with the jugs joke. That's so now we're giving him
tips on his lineup of joke. That's.
Right. Oh my God, yeah.
OK, gotta go out, Scotty, You gotta go out on a high.
Go out with a bang, yeah. And I will.
Are we going to try to? Do that that we do, we don't
know. We definitely haven't done that
(39:42):
just now and. We never promised that.
No, no, no. Butt heads.
Introducing the Fart Launcher 3000.
Wreak. Havoc by launching wheel fart.
Smells load the canister. Pull back and letter it this.
(40:02):
Can really clear A room. And be sure to collect the all
new butt heads figures with signature bugs King Butt.
Bubble. Uranus, Sir, that shall lie.
Available now. Fart bless her butt heads figure
sold separately, new for Wowie.
Oh come on, you didn't have a beer.
I had a beer, but I didn't shotgun it and open it with my
skate. This is due to underwhelming
demand. The podcast that may be that may
be the perfect cure for your Saint Patrick's Day hangover.
(00:22):
Ah, yes. Although I'm pretty sure there's
a good chance that it'll make your headache worse, so.
Keep. I actually am interested in how
you are going to feel the day after Saint Patrick's Day,
David. You know I.
Know you love to go out? I do and I enjoy Guinness, which
(00:43):
is a foreman will know this. It's a very light beer.
It is only 4%. Yeah, if you're drinking
Guinness, you're fine. You'll be fine.
Yeah, you can only handle a couple.
You'll you'll be fine. It's like a meal.
Yeah, not a lot of alcohol. It's.
Like a meal. Anyway, this fine podcast is
(01:05):
brought to you by the fine people who run calves for A
cause. Yes, Calves for A Cause is back
at the Canadian Dairy Expo in Stratford.
Their live sale is happening April 2nd at 7:00 PM in the We
Cover Cow Coliseum, also online at dlms.ca.
What is it called? The We what?
(01:26):
The We cover Cow Coliseum. The We cover Cow Coliseum I.
Don't know what that is. Is that just that?
Seems, well, it seems like the perfect place.
That's all I know. Sure.
Yeah, you're gonna it's. The name of the building.
Right. Well, it works.
Yeah, it does work. 7:00 PM on the on the 2nd on.
The second, yeah, that's the live sale and they have the
frozen genetic sale. If you're not in, you're not
(01:48):
into a full calf yet, but you want to have one on on your farm
eventually. The frozen.
And a good one. And a good one, yeah, because
they only take what, the Top 40 or something, something like
that. Top. 40 in North America, Yeah,
you got to have one on standby. OK, tariff free here in Canada?
Yeah, sure. The frozen genetic sale closes
April 3rd online at farm gate. Timed auctions?
(02:11):
Check. Out the Sale Calf Parade April
1st at 7:00 PM. OK, wow, coming up soon.
Even on Facebook Live, you don'teven have to be at the Canadian
Dairy Expo or whatever the name of that building is.
The We cover Cow Coliseum. That's right.
And this is all to raise money for Children's Hospital at
London Health Sciences Center here in London, which of course
(02:33):
has children from all over the region come here when they need
it and it's a great place. Daryl and Sarah Marcus started
Cabs for A Cause and since the beginning they have raised over
$150,000 for Children's Hospital, which is.
That's amazing. Just.
Amazing. Yeah.
So if you're going to buy a cow or genetics or you might as well
buy it from them. Of course it's for a good cause.
(02:53):
And they've been doing this so many years now that they've
started to have 100% donation embryos result in a 100%
donation calf for this year's sale.
I don't even know. What that means?
But I am on quiet, say Rachel. How's the hockey playing going?
Oh, well, the hockey, it's going, it's going.
(03:15):
Yeah, we, we're about halfway through now, our little season.
And so now, yeah, we got 10. Seconds deadline pass because
I'm wondering, yeah. I'm wondering.
Deadline are you? Still on two teams.
Are you still on the same team? Because yes, I'm I'm curious if
anybody wants to unload you. No, they didn't trade me away.
(03:35):
I'm still on the purple team. There's purple and there's
white, so I'm purple. All right, That and #17 OK.
That's what I understand if you made it through the trade,
trade. Deadline, I guess so like I'm
not very helpful in playing so. You're not really trade, really.
Then you're no, nobody really wants me, I don't think.
I think Purple's just kind of stuck with me now.
(03:57):
I think that's, yeah, I don't think anybody really wants me.
But now that I go, so now all ofour, we had a couple of 7:00
games in the evening, but now it's all 9:00.
So we go from 9:00 and it's an hour and a half.
If you recall, there was a vote about that and everybody voted
to extend another half hour. So instead of nine to 10:00 PM,
(04:21):
it's 9:00 to 10:30. So.
Late it is. So late.
Most of us come in at like 8:20 to get ready and we're all like
we had to have naps on the couchto make it through the next like
3 hours because we're so tired. And then you go home after and
I'm up till like one in the morning.
Yeah, you're wired. That's the worst thing.
(04:41):
It's ridiculous. At least it's a Friday night,
though. At least it's a Friday.
Yeah, if it was during the week,I don't think I would be going
at all. So here's my take from hockey.
Because this week I came home. And I.
Yeah, here's my take. A hot take.
No, it's not a hot take. I mean, no, it's not a hot take.
(05:03):
It's just my take. I'm actually starting to enjoy
it. Oh, really?
Yeah, I'm starting to enjoy it alittle bit more.
What part of it do you enjoy? Being out on the ice, like, like
skating around. I'm getting more confident with
skating. I'm getting better at it.
I'm not fast. So when I'm, you know, try and
(05:24):
get to the puck, there's always somebody faster than me who can
scoop it up. Isn't that a bitch?
So it's a real bitch. Yeah, It's a real.
I'm like, oh, and then I get it or I can't get it.
I'm like, well, and I always have a comment.
I'm like, you gonna keep your mouth shut?
Like everybody can hear you stopit.
Like it's not a bad comment, butI'm like, wow, you're fast Or
oh, I missed it or, you know, I'm.
(05:46):
You should probably mic me up one day.
Yes. We're missing what I would like.
The play by play from Jeremy andthe miked up Rachel.
Yeah, that would be it at all. That would be awesome.
Actually, we were gonna mic our our goalie and have her have her
do it one day, but we haven't done that either.
So, okay. So listen, do you, does Jeremy
have hockey on it at home? Does he put it on?
(06:08):
Are you there when he's got hockey going?
Sometimes, yeah. Yeah, usually.
Are you starting to get more interested in watching hockey on
TV? No, but I see them do things and
then I'll say to Jeremy I can dothat.
And he's like, OK, OK, no, you can't.
Look at them, handle that puck. I can do that.
He's like, OK, you can't. Is Jeremy what is he a like a
(06:31):
leaf fan or? Yeah, he likes the Leafs.
Yeah, OK. So are you familiar with a
couple of Can you throw a coupleof Leaf players?
Sure. Mitch Marner, Austin Matthews.
OK. And the one that's married to
Tessa Virtue. OK, that's, yeah, 44, but I
forget. It's Morgan Riley.
Morgan Riley. Thank you.
OK, so Morgan Riley, Austin Matthews, Mitch Marner, which
(06:56):
one would we compare you to? I.
I'm I'm like Mitch, I think. Yeah, and and in in what way?
I don't, I don't know. Really, really fast.
Yeah, I'm. Pretty good with the puck like
that's why stick handling. Do you see where the other
(07:17):
players are so that you can immediately?
No, but I'm starting to notice that if I'm going to pass the
puck to someone, I'm like, I better look around and see if
there's a purple somewhere, right?
Because often somebody will shoot and it's not always just
me. We shoot away, like to get it
away and nobody's down there. Yeah, no, you don't want to do.
That you just gave it to the other team, would you?
(07:39):
Now, now that you're an expert on a, that you're an expert on
hockey and you play it on a regular basis, would you have
spotted the greatest hockey player in the NHL all alone in
front of the net in a crucial game against your hated rival,
the USA, as Mitch Marner did? He did that.
(08:03):
All right, I think we're done. I've.
Been watching a lot of hockey. No, I wasn't thinking.
I think my husband would maybe compare me to Kneelander because
he's generally yelling at Kneelander for doing something
stupid. I think so I don't, I don't
know. But anyway, my, my take from
hockey is that I'm kind of enjoying it now because I, I was
really ready to quit at the beginning and, and I.
(08:26):
Think that's. No, now I'm like, OK, like
everybody kept saying, well, if we do this next year, I'm like,
I'm not doing this next year. I'm getting through this now.
You are not. You have all the stuff though.
Yeah, I don't really have all the stuff.
You might as well. You might as well carry on your
career. Why?
If I'm that good, if I if by week 10 I'm thinking I'm as I'm
(08:46):
on cloud 9 about it fine. What week are we on?
I think we've done five OK or 6 maybe.
We'll give you some time. How many goals?
Do you have none for me? How many assists?
Nope, no, I don't have any of those either.
I don't think you're Mitch Marner and I, I don't think
you're Austin Matthews. You might be Morgan Riley.
(09:09):
I have no idea. It's more like Kneelander I
think. Think Kneelander.
Kneelander Norman, what do you think?
Yeah. I think all of Rachel's traits
sound exactly what the Leafs need.
Yeah. Yeah.
Put her on the team, please. This is due to underwhelming
(09:37):
demand. The podcast.
That's like the first day of spring.
Something we all look forward to.
Except we personally don't smelllike thawed dog poop.
I'm just saying, as far as I know anyway, I haven't really
been in the same room with you guys for a while.
I'm pretty sure I don't. I'm hoping.
No, I don't think I do. Sure I don't.
(09:59):
Hey, I, I by the way, I, I and Iknow you were just supposed to
do a great segue for. Like I was just going to mention
my whole backyard is actually full of rabbit shit so.
What? Oh, 'cause you have so much a.
Lot of that in my yard too. We have a.
Lot of rabbit. We have cats roaming around.
Oh God, it's yeah, no Roosters. What's What's the rooster?
No, we don't have the rooster, no.
(10:20):
OK, anyway, I just wanted to point out I I do have some
headlines coming up coming up, Ihave some headlines for Foreman.
Yeah, first you have this great,great Segway and I can't wait to
hear it let. Me put you on the spot.
(10:40):
Yeah. Try and make something out of
that dog's breakfast. Well, some people might actually
enjoy cleaning up that dog's shit more than petting the dog.
I could do it I. Impressive.
Yeah. What the?
Hell, we gave. You absolute shit to work with
and you. Still.
Made. Gold.
(11:01):
Yes, I. Mean some people enjoy what?
Well, there's new research uncovering the fact that say 37%
of participants felt better, a full third, almost like 4-4 and.
Ten, Yeah. Close.
Yeah, they felt better cleaning the toilet then they did petting
(11:22):
puppies. No, before you even said
puppies, I knew whatever it was was no, I would not put.
Better toilet. It can't be more enjoyable than
anything. Nope, that's ridiculous on a
second. It is ridiculous.
Why would you clean the toilet? No.
Sometimes. How would you?
How would well. I have cleaned the toilet.
Currently I have a cleaning lady.
(11:42):
You are so hard done by. I know currently I have a
cleaning lady. Must be nice up very nicely.
Thank you very much. It must be nice.
It must be. Nice, yeah.
I find it far more enjoyable to soil the toilet, but.
What's wrong with you, farmer? I mean, if you have to choose
(12:05):
one or the other, I'd rather siton.
It. That's way too much information.
Yeah. Nobody can enjoy cleaning over
playing with puppies. Like what is wrong with Ms. You
can only a. Sort of people.
I wouldn't say I'm fully responsible for cleaning the
house because I screw it up a lot and I'm told that on a
regular basis, but I do do the the majority of the cleaning at
(12:32):
all but the majority of the cleaning and I actually I would
rather clean than pet puppies any day.
Well, hypothetically. Hypothetically cute cute little
puppies to pet Here Dave, play with these puppies for 20
minutes You don't find that moreenjoyable than cleaning a toilet
I. Don't choose.
To clean a toilet versus playingwith a bunch of puppies.
(12:52):
I would choose to clean. I enjoy cleaning.
I do. I'm sorry, there's a certain
satisfaction. That you.
Get that, that when something, Imean around here at my place, I
like, I, I clean on a regular basis.
And what happens is I get it clean and I just go like, I
stand back and I go, it looks great.
(13:16):
It looks great. I have everything back in place.
I have everything out. I've cleaned everything.
I have everything back in place.And then a teenage daughter
comes downstairs and decides to make a sandwich and it's, it's
screwed. Everything's screwed and
everything's dirty. And then someone comes home from
work and walks, forgets to take off maybe their shoes.
(13:39):
And then I go, well, why did I do all of that?
So yeah, maybe give me a puppy, but I it doesn't make it any
better. Well, there's there seems to be
too many people like Dave because not only is it like a
third or four and ten of us willfeel better about cleaning a
toilet than petting a puppy, petting a puppy only felt 5%
(14:00):
better for these participants than cleaning a toilet.
Yeah, what? Petting a puppy just.
Because people have the satisfaction of cleaning, it is
so good. Petting a puppy only feels about
5% better than that. And especially.
If it's. Not my If it's not my puppy, why
am I petting it? Well, you just, you know,
(14:21):
somebody has a litter of puppiesfor you to play with.
It is my house and I'm cleaning it so I'm very.
There is some satisfaction to cleaning.
I get that. I am more satisfied when I'm
like tidying up, think clutter and stuff that's that to me is
more satisfying than actually scrubbing things.
I would rather. Tidy how much clutter a group of
puppies would leave in your house.
(14:42):
Well, I only want them there for20 minutes.
You're spending way too much time on the logistics of the
puppies and who belong to and where.
They came from Why do we? I know because I know it'll
drive you crazy. And no, I don't need to be
cleaning. But there, I mean, there are
some people who love cleaning. I get that it's satisfying.
I like to watch the clean cleaning videos on TikTok
(15:06):
because I find them satisfying the before and after.
Watch people clean. Yeah, I don't want to have to
get my hands dirty with stuff. That's why you have a cleaning
lady. Do you sit there with your feet
up and watch her all day? No, I don't, but I should
because that would give me some that would give me.
That should be exactly what you do.
Well, I'm usually paying for someone out of the house.
(15:26):
If you pay someone to come into your house and clean, why aren't
you camped out and watching her with your feet up like this?
Why are you doing? That I would never do that Why
would you You're. Paying for it.
That's exactly what I would do. I'm paying.
For a show, you're paying for just the service of the
(15:46):
cleaning. Oh my God.
Is her name Cinderella? Then yes.
If it is, you can watch. No, I'm not suggesting that this
is someone you're paying good money to.
Like people enjoyed wiping coffee rings off the counter as
much as getting your nails done or having your favorite latte or
(16:08):
tea. You enjoy cleaning away gunk and
grime from the sink as much as having a favorite beverage.
No. I wouldn't go that far.
The act of wiping the kitchen counter feels 6% better than
getting a massage. I.
(16:28):
Do appreciate having. Urological results where they
hooked this stuff up to people'sbrains.
Really. OK, so it's just as satisfying
then. Just as satisfying.
Having everything clean is satisfying or seeing the before
and after and you, you know, that's, that's satisfying.
Let me ask you who I'm doing it.No.
When you cut the grass, how do you feel after?
(16:52):
Good, bad, indifferent. Find that it's over.
Yeah, it's done. It looks.
Good. Are you one of those people who
go, why do we have grass? Why is it there?
Why do I keep cutting it? Why just cut it and then I have
to cut it again? Yes, the satisfaction is always
weighed with like Jesus. That took a long time.
(17:16):
Yeah, that's. True.
That's where, you know, no offense, but that's where your
favorite beverage comes in hand,so he just get after you.
Take that with you. You need a little cup holder on
your lawnmower. That's exactly.
You need it in a helmet and a straw.
Helmet with a straw with a straw.
I'll be that guy. That's satisfying.
(17:54):
This is due to underwhelming demand.
With Dave, Rachel and Foreman, the podcast that lives up to its
name, we are still just as underwhelming as ever.
Yes, we set the bar low so that your expectations are low.
If you expected more, that's your fault.
Is your fault. That's right on you.
(18:15):
That's on you, not on us. Okay.
By the way, it's time for headlines.
Yeah, headlines. All right, It's been a while.
Actual headlines. These are real headlines.
I don't make these up. I don't have to.
No, they're actual headlines. Thank you Foreman for
contributing. Foreman sends me headlines on a
regular basis and makes my day. Yes, he does.
(18:38):
I'm not sure which of these are yours for them, and you'll
probably remember some of them, but I appreciate you.
Thank you. Real headlines.
Here we go. These are headlines we'll start
with. Photographer says fight between
bald eagle and Canada goose quote very symbolic.
That's an actual headline. Hello.
(19:00):
Especially because after 20 minutes the eagle gave up and
the goose won. Yes.
El goose up El goose. Up El Goose win.
That's why we're terrified of them.
Just. So, you know, and stick out your
neck. Yeah, if.
You're American. That's right.
Here we go. Local headline.
Love this one. Woodstock hockey coach faces
(19:21):
several charges including assaulting police after being
tossed from a game featuring 7 year olds.
Now I heard the back story of this because my husband is from
Woodstock. Okay, do we need the back story?
It's not good. It's not good.
No, we don't need to. Then we don't.
(19:42):
It makes it less funny. Okay, well then let's not go to
the backstop. Please don't do.
The back story, yeah. Okay, well he may have something
something in common with this guy.
Accountant and quote certified joy enthusiast allegedly tries
to kill a person for sitting on a park bench next to him.
What? Real.
(20:03):
Headlines again, maybe some anger management issues not.
Very joyful. No, not joyful at all.
No help this certified. What is this certified Joy
enthusiast, by the way? I don't think you.
Actually don't think he's enthused by Joy because.
Clearly, anybody kill somebody, clearly anybody can get that.
Yes, who's who's? Addition are certification.
(20:26):
Yes, exactly. It's like becoming a life coach,
you know? That's right.
You know anybody? I guess having good sex can
lower your risk of cancer. OK.
That's a study that was commissioned by men.
That's an actual headline. Get on it.
I'm just. Assuming I'm just assuming.
Either a very good or a bad headline, depending on your
(20:48):
assuming. Yeah, OK.
How was that a bad headline? Well.
Maybe if you're not having it, having good sex, then it's.
Well, one incentive to have just.
Keep. Trying.
Until you have good sex. And yes, consent.
Consent, Yeah. That's right, an alarming number
of people are mistaking nail glue for eye drops.
Oh gosh. What?
(21:11):
Headlines. So that we don't need to read
this headline again, maybe keep your nail glue and eye drops in
different areas. Yes, perhaps a good idea that.
Might help that might. Help I.
Think it's April Fool nail thingso.
I don't know, unless it's April.Fool, could you even imagine?
Oh my. Man, man named Man named Weiner.
(21:32):
Arrested there. After a crashing car then
fleeing the scene naked, yes, itall plays out.
Don't. You think?
Yeah, Weiner. Headlines.
Yes. Thanks Wieners, at it again.
There he goes. Thanks.
Must be called Wiener turns out.Who's the joy enthusiast?
(21:53):
No. Yeah, exactly.
Turns out AI is more empathetic than Allstate insurance reps.
That's an actual headline. Well.
That's good to know. I.
Don't know what to make of that,but that it feels right.
Who's the life coach now? Speaking of, everything comes
full circle. That's right.
Not Allstate Tennessee man Tennessee man shot by his dog
(22:18):
while lying in bed. Oh my headlines I.
Saw that even the police couldn't piece together what
actually happened. Police can't really figure out
what happened there. They can't even.
Figure loaded gun right there. Yeah, who knows?
Dummy. OK.
Judge rules Saskatoon man with 114 criminal convictions What is
(22:44):
a dangerous offender? You think?
Real headlines. Fool me 113 times.
Not anymore. That's it.
That's the limit. 113 Times Now.Now.
You've done. It Mr. Now.
You're getting it now. You've done it.
Fire. Fire destroys Calgary pet
(23:06):
crematorium. Oh no.
Well. That's an actual.
Headline to get started inside. I just want to know like did a
lot of pet, did a lot of pet just.
Think about that for a minute. I don't know.
I think they're already dead there.
Well, it's agreement. To say seems like anyway,
(23:27):
doesn't it, right? I'm not going to explore it.
Anymore, I'd rather pet the living puppies that's.
Right, OK, good. All right.
Would you rather pet dead? Puppies, yeah.
OK. Or clean up that mess, David.
No no no, Texas game warden busts man hunting in a porta
potty converted into a deer blind.
(23:51):
Apparently you can't do the. Headlines.
You. Can't you have to have a real
deer blind? Yes, you can't stick a porta
potty right? You.
Can't like who? Can't what?
Not in apparently. Not in Texas.
I don't know. Maybe.
Maybe. I mean if you can have.
I don't know. I don't know, I guess.
For those that have seen the show, it was that Frank from
Shameless. I have no.
(24:11):
Idea that. Could be it could be a few
headlines from around the world because I love those W
Australian premier labels US vice president a knob.
Real headlines. Correct.
So has the. Rest of the world, I'm not I'm
well. So has the rest.
Suggested that one, yeah. Nothing brings the entire world
(24:33):
together than. Donald Trump, Qatar Airways
defends sitting corpse next to acouple.
Oh, Oh my God. That's an actual headline.
Well. What's in In their defense, this
corpse wasn't a corpse when the flight started.
Oh. Boy, I think she boarded the
(24:55):
plane and. OK.
I'm sorry. Somebody died on board and you
didn't have an emergency landing.
What's wrong with you? UK police officer has a
misconduct hearing after fartingin another officers face.
Headlines you told them for. That that's you told.
On here for that. You farted on yeah.
(25:17):
Exactly. That's every sibling everywhere.
Yeah, exactly. The officer who complained
didn't have a sibling. Did he?
Were you not a kid at some point?
Exactly. Animal headlines.
Here we go. Possum eats an entire Costco
cake and requires treatment. Real headlines.
I mean, same What? Yeah, what can?
(25:38):
You say possum, Yeah. UK man blows up cat that was
inside his birdhouse. Oh God.
That's. Terrible.
That's an actual headline. Couldn't get him out, had to do
something. OK.
Police in England. Speaking of cats, police in
England looking for someone shaving people's cats.
(25:59):
That's not right. Headlines.
OK, that's odd. Like you mean shaving like?
Nothing, nothing. Just their cat.
The cat. Only using the word we.
Won't even go there. We won't go there, woman.
I'll just keep going. Woman goes viral for grocery
(26:22):
shopping with her enormous Raven.
Real headlines. Headlines.
You should have seen that coming.
I mean, I guess is that the one that takes all the notes to the
other Kingdom of? No.
OK, Researchers in Morocco discover.
Yeah, researchers in Morocco discover new type of fly larvae
(26:45):
that has a face on its butt. Wow, that's an actual headline.
That's what that other cop called the one other cop, right?
That's. Right.
Look, I got a face on my butt. You got a face for your butt
fart farted. Don't fart on my face.
Yeah. All right, off to Florida.
Here we go, Florida. OK.
Going on yes, Florida, Florida Man, Florida Man's vacuum heist
(27:10):
kind of sucked. Headlines.
I just really like that one. It's not particularly funny, but
it's well written. It's clever.
It's clever. Yeah, I appreciate that.
Yeah, Florida man riding lawnmower crashes into several
mailboxes. Real headlines it's.
Like every day in Florida. Yeah.
I mean like that's isn't that like?
(27:30):
Probably naked and drunk. It's.
Tuesday. In Florida, sure, yeah.
Oops, Florida woman admits vandalizing X's vehicle, but she
got the wrong car. Oh yeah, you got to make sure.
That's an actual. Headline got to make sure.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
OK Florida man accused of swallowing $770,000 worth of
(27:55):
diamonds from Florida Tiffany's.Headlines, you just shovel them
in there like what do you do? I don't have that.
Let me take these and. They don't, I don't think.
I don't think they come out easily.
I don't think so either. There's no way that they come
out. You didn't.
There's no comfortable way that those come out.
(28:15):
You know what I'm saying? No.
There's just I know what you're.Especially since police will be
standing by waiting for them allto come out.
That's right. That's exactly right.
That's. Right.
Florida man arrested after driving recklessly and leaving
his truck to dance on US1 while wearing only a construction hard
hat. Real headlines.
(28:37):
There's. Just, I'm sorry, can you read
that one again? That's a.
Movie. I think there's a movie there.
Florida man arrested after driving recklessly and leaving
his truck to dance on US1 while wearing only a construction hard
hat. That's the YMCA video the.
Truck because he wanted to dance, or the truck he was
dancing. He's a Why?
(28:58):
OK, I see. So he got out to OK.
Yeah, that's right. Florida Florida Man put down If
you're eating, put down whateveryou're eating.
Florida man arrested for odd behavior with a Chucky doll.
Oh. That's an actual headline.
Buddy, why? Florida man.
(29:21):
Florida Man arrested again Florida man arrested for being
half baked and half exposed at Stoner's Pizza.
Headlines. I mean if there was a place
again. You know it should be surprised
you're. Asking for.
It just Monday isn't. That stoner's pizza is yeah,
(29:44):
right. Florida woman attacks Florida
man with a Florida Pringles can.Real headlines.
What's a Florida Pringles can just from Florida?
A Pringles can bought in Florida.
Oh, OK, OK. I thought it was like special
kind. That's not enough.
Yeah, Florida woman assaults Florida man with Florida dildo.
(30:07):
Oh. Ouch.
K. That's an actual headline.
How? How though?
Was it like the Chucky doll thing or?
Too many, too many questions. This is due to underwhelming
(31:02):
demand. We are Dave, Rachel and Foreman,
and we've reached the point in the podcast where we beg you, we
plead with you to contact us, get a hold of us, sponsor us,
Spank. No, that's part of.
Interact with us in any way. Thank you.
(31:22):
That's. The part I miss most about the
radio, I miss that. That's the part I miss most
about doing a radio show is the interaction and you can talk to
people right then and there and that was fun.
I liked that. However, you are still
interacting with us, which is amazing.
You can go to our website underwhelming.ca, very easy
there to get a hold of us, buy us a coffee, sponsor us,
(31:44):
whatever you want to do. So you can also e-mail us Dave,
rachelforman@gmail.com and then get a hold of us anywhere on
social media. Go, Rachel, Go.
OK, well Sherry has gone to our website underwhelming.ca and
sent us a message there on our contact form.
You can do that on our website, she says.
Listening to episode 114. We were once woken up by our
(32:06):
connected smoke CO2 detectors. Turns out when your dog shits
through the eye of a needle, it can trigger alarms, flashing
lights and very loud sirens withthem.
Yelling fire fire at 2:00 AM wasso much fun.
And to top it off, our spare bedroom looked like a poop crime
scene. I don't know what that meant.
I don't know how your dog pooping sets off the alarms.
(32:28):
I don't understand that. I didn't.
Recall you didn't recall talkingabout that, but Forman you did
talk about. Forman's dog that he's.
Forman's dog did that, yeah. Absolutely pooping.
Yeah, violently in the middle ofthe night and it's disturbing.
It's loud. You have no idea what's going
on. Clearly your smoke detector
doesn't know what the fuck is going on.
(32:49):
Oh my God, sure. How does that set off the smoke
and CO2 alarms? No idea that bad.
I don't. I don't.
Want to know? I don't know.
But also, Sherry, thank you for the three coffees you sent us as
well. Oh, that's funny.
Thank you so much. She you said I was so sad when
you guys left the morning show. I missed your funny banter and
(33:09):
I'm having so much fun listeningto you now.
So wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for listening and please tell your friends.
Thank you to the other someone who wanted to remain anonymous
for buying us 5 coffees. Sherry bought us 3, someone
bought us 5. Loved the podcast.
Hope you keep doing what you're doing.
And now there's someone bought us a coffee.
Love the podcast, keep up the great work.
(33:30):
So thank you. Oh wow, thank you very much.
We have a message from Denise. This was about when Foreman
talked about how Tylenol sucks, she says.
I just listened to your latest podcast.
I had to let you know that Advilbrand sells a Duo tablet that
combines ibuprofen and acetaminophen together and I
have found that this works the best.
(33:51):
This is just my opinion and personal experience.
I also have to let you know how much I enjoy listening to you
guys. I look forward to it every week
from Denise. Thank you very much.
Well, thank you, Denise. I don't know, they sell the Duo
tablet. Yeah, that won't work for you,
for him, because half of it is now Tylenol, which you abhor.
Yes, you've just made it half aseffective now.
(34:12):
Well, I think they have photos of.
Each waste. Well, you can take them
together, I'm pretty sure. Ask your doctor about that.
I don't. Thank you for your dangerous
medical. Our medical advice is sound.
Yours very questionable. Sound.
OK, we asked a few episodes ago,how many photos do you have on
your phone? Yes I had the most was well over
(34:35):
4600. That's not the most compared to
other people who have been listening to us.
Great on TikTok. Someone with the name Smell?
That's a great name. With one L only one L Yeah, 1L
has 31,934 photos and videos. Well done.
(34:58):
B. How large is your phone?
Like the storage on it? Large how?
Much storage do you have on yourphone?
That can't be. That's on the cloud.
Megan on Instagram has 33,540. 2OK, I need to know how you make
that work because I need that I need.
She says it's very silly on my part but I do have them all
(35:20):
backed up on an external hard drive.
So 33,000 photos times 2. Basically you have. 2 copies of
that. There you go, that's.
Still not the most. No.
Wow. No, because Jennifer has 57,963.
Here we go. Ouch.
(35:41):
You guys must have the cloud right?
Like. Shut.
The front door I can't. There's too many pictures in too
many. Yes, there's too many pictures
in the way. OK.
I need to know how you're doing that because I need to up, I
need to increase my storage capacity.
You're doing something wrong, Rachel.
Yes, well, I bought like 5 gigs of the cloud and again I don't
(36:02):
know how to get them off the cloud.
So I didn't buy anymore because because it maxed out
immediately. So as soon as Speaking of
Rachel. Doing things wrong.
Remember how Rachel doesn't haveany undershirts and wears
sweaters without anything underneath like a mad person?
Yeah, I wear a bra, but OK. Yeah, well, Mandy has commented
(36:22):
on TikTok as well, saying wow, Ineed to wear my security tank
every single day since the year 2001.
OK, security tank. In 2001, we wore tank tops under
everything. That was just like the style.
She still does. OK, sure.
You're 2001 security tank. I get it.
(36:44):
Yeah, sure. OK, yes, somebody told me
actually recently in person, they said I wear one all the
time, but it's like a smoothing tank top.
I said OK, well that I get that.Sure it's.
A smoothing. Like Spanx, Like a Spanx tank
top kind of thing. Yes, this also has the same
effect. It's.
A cotton form and it can't be that great.
(37:05):
I don't think you want a Spanx one form, and you really don't.
A Manx. Thanks.
A minx. A Minx.
Yeah, you can also do it. Underwhelming not CA is.
Buy us a coffee, but also leave us a voice message.
Yes you can, anytime. And before we get to that voice
message, by the way, I have a message message.
(37:27):
Message message message message.Message OK, Message OK from.
Scotty, one of us is still on the radio.
Obviously me from Scotty on the same topic who says if I wear an
undershirt under AT shirt I now have two dirty shirts.
Exactly. I'm probably still washing my
(37:51):
shirts. I watch them every time.
You don't. You just don't.
Maybe for some of us you do. I don't know, yeah.
I do. I don't know what you're doing.
I don't know what you're doing under your shirt, but you should
only ever once. Well, I just feel like it's not,
it's not fresh anymore, you know, like.
Sure. That's fresh enough, OK.
OK. I guess so.
Now we also have a voice memo from Scotty.
(38:14):
Perfect. It's been a.
While Scotty, where you been? Double your fun, Here we go.
Hello, it's me again. I just listened to the latest
episode. So you found frozen breast milk
in your or I guess your mother found some old breast milk in in
the deep freeze. Now, how is that packaged up?
(38:35):
Is it in, is it in bags or is itin like a couple of big jugs?
Just an odd question, Rachel, That's cool that you're letting
your kids watch different shows and stuff now.
And and I don't think they're too scared.
Might I suggest like to ease them in a little further?
Try maybe Avengers Infinity War and see how they handle the last
(39:00):
10 minutes or so of that movie. Yeah, sorry, I would have called
sooner, but I was waiting for the musical break of four.
Minutes to end. It took a little while.
All right, talk to you later. Bye.
Thanks Scotty. Scotty, I just you know, for the
next time. Next time you voice messages.
(39:21):
I would have started maybe with the musical break, then Rachel
and ended with the jugs joke. That's so now we're giving him
tips on his lineup of joke. That's.
Right. Oh my God, yeah.
OK, gotta go out, Scotty, You gotta go out on a high.
Go out with a bang, yeah. And I will.
Are we going to try to? Do that that we do, we don't
know. We definitely haven't done that
(39:42):
just now and. We never promised that.
No, no, no. Butt heads.
Introducing the Fart Launcher 3000.
Wreak. Havoc by launching wheel fart.
Smells load the canister. Pull back and letter it this.
(40:02):
Can really clear A room. And be sure to collect the all
new butt heads figures with signature bugs King Butt.
Bubble. Uranus, Sir, that shall lie.
Available now. Fart bless her butt heads figure
sold separately, new for Wowie.
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