June 10, 2025 • 43 mins
(4:58) - Rachel has MAJOR golf news
(13:03) - Forman's downtown parking saga takes a turn
(20:18) - HEADLINES we can't make up, but can round up!
(35:56) - YOUR comments & voice memos!
Try Sparkle Princess Parties - Abigale is a children's entertainer offering professional face painting, glitter tattoos, theme parties, hair tinsel service and more! Give her a call at 519-532-0149 or email abivoll13@gmail.com!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I miss doing the fun stuff and like recording stuff like that
and just being silly. That was a lot of fun.
I'm lonely in my basement. That's true.
Yeah. Sad.
Sad, sad, sad. I say that to people and nobody
(00:22):
gets it. I'm like sad.
And they're just like what the fuck?
Why are you just saying it like that?
That's still what I use as my wrong buzzer is like E and it's
him saying wrong for everything.Wrong.
Nobody knows that it's Trump. And I think that's actually
Dave's voice doing the E. It is.
(00:45):
Yeah, wrong. This is due to underwhelming
demand. It is a podcast with Dave Rachel
inform and it's the podcast thatreminds you Father's Day is just
about here. You be sure to call you
(01:05):
FaceTime, you text. You purchase.
Maybe a little impersonal, but yes, you purchase.
Yeah, OK. Yeah, you BBQ for.
Him. Yeah, well, that never happens.
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah anyway remember he is your
Co creator. Yes.
And when you reach the age whereyou understand what that means,
(01:27):
guaranteed you go you. Oh.
My God. You, David?
Yeah, I know. You're welcome.
What do you guys want for Father's Day because I don't
really know what to get Jeremy. Oh, I haven't.
I I have. I have something a little later
that might work for you. OK, you might.
Like. So won't spoil it then, yeah.
(01:48):
You. Just need some.
Ideas this fine a podcast and we're going to get to this in a
in a second is brought to you bySparkle Princess parties.
But first, I just want to let you know a little later on the
podcast, I have some headlines. Yes, yeah.
And make them up. I don't have.
To got a good collection now. Always you.
Save them up. Yeah, yeah.
(02:09):
Yeah, Foreman feeds me. Foreman also has an update on
his parking downtown issues, which I love.
OK. And Rachel somehow is still
playing golf. We'll get to that.
I. Don't know about that one.
Yeah, I'm not sure what that I. You, you just wait.
Just wait. I've got a good update for you.
OK, the better involved. The plane are doing a lot of
(02:31):
heavy lifting. I I feel like this better
involved. Like he said that.
A hole in one or something, right?
And if you're going to, you havesomething to tell us.
Right. Anyway, we'll we'll see what
that is, no? No.
No. Are you throwing a golf theme to
sparkle Christmas party? Yes, I was trying to pull, you
(02:51):
know, people are excited to findout and now you go.
I didn't do. That no, it wasn't a hole in
one. Oh.
OK, all right, well, we'll get to that.
Let's now that you've brought the mood down, let's talk about
Sparkle Princess parties. Yes.
Well, as Foreman said, if you'rehaving a golf Princess party, a
golf party of any kind, Abigail can help you sparkle Princess
(03:12):
parties. Abigail will do face painting,
she'll do glitter tattoos. She does provides activities for
a themed party like a golf partyor I don't know, maybe you're
having a slumber party or some kind of pool party.
I don't. What are you going to do this
summer theme party? Party Prom.
Dirty school. Party prom, Yeah.
You know I don't have young children like you 2 do, right?
(03:35):
But I'll bet you she could do a frozen party.
Oh gosh, I bet you she's done many.
Oh, for sure, Yeah, yes, she could.
She says she'll plan and providesupplies and instruction on
crafts or activities for you that match your party theme.
For instance, she did like a Beauty and the Beast themed
(03:56):
party and they they made the magic mirror that Bell uses in
Beauty and the Beast and they made paper crowns and all kinds
of stuff. She can also do face painting.
Now when I say she does face painting, like it's really good
face, it's. Elaborate.
It's elaborate. It's fancy.
It's like, it almost looks like airbrush, but it's not.
You know? It does.
(04:17):
Yeah. That's the kind of face painting
I'm talking about. She's got glitter tattoos that
she offers as well. So she can do those all kinds of
things. And if you're having, maybe
you're having like, an outdoor children's kind of festival or
big party for your, you know, school or your swim team forming
your swim group. You could do that.
Pass her name along. Abigail Sparkle Princess Party.
(04:39):
She's on Facebook and Instagram.You can look her up there and
she's based in Woodstock, so she'll go anywhere in the area.
I think that's, you know, Oxford, Elgin, Middlesex,
Norfolk, maybe. I don't know if you're in in and
around that area. So you can contact her.
We'll put her contact info in the show notes.
Maybe I should have a golf themed party because I am still
(05:01):
in our ladies league golf league.
Ladies Golf League. You're in a league.
How? Many.
Well, we talked about, I don't know how many are in the whole
thing. I don't know.
There's five of us that signed up together.
Now usually not all of us are available each week.
So I've only gone 2 times. You've gone a second time.
(05:25):
I've gone a second time. Wow.
And I find that at the beginningof the round we all suck big
time. But it by the end we're doing
we're doing OK now. But that being said, the 9th
hole is a par 5 and it really fucking sucks really badly so.
It's like you hit your first shot, your second shot.
(05:48):
And the third shot. And then your third.
Shot should be on the green and then you're putting for birdie.
That's a par putt third shot on the.
Green on the par 5. That's hilarious, yeah.
Real funny. You can't even see the green
from the like from my third shot.
You hit one out there, the firstshot, couple 100 yards.
(06:09):
Right. That shouldn't be a problem.
No. At your age.
I don't for me. It's getting tougher, you know,
I got, you know. You know, a little.
Strength, all that stuff. That's only if you hit the ball
each time you swing, you know, like that's hard enough.
There's a lot of swinging and missing.
(06:29):
And if the ball doesn't roll 3 feet away after you've taken the
biggest swing you've ever swung.Or we top the ball and then you
top it again because you tried to.
Do the same. Thing.
So it's not going that far. Ladies golf league thing should
be maybe before you even set foot on the golf course is, you
(06:51):
know, two or three lessons. Nah.
You know how to hold a Golf Club.
Probably, yes. Well, I've had lessons.
I've taken a bit of lessons in my life, OK.
And Jeremy's taught me and you've given me tips also
because I've had to golf with you a few times.
But if you have. Lessons now then, that's going
to get in the way of breakfast. Yeah, that's what I think.
(07:13):
OK, so. Well we go Thursday night so the
breakfast was only it was a one time deal so now.
You're not getting in the way. You're not getting in the way of
everywhere Thursday. It's the perfect time to go
because probably when you're playing golf, there's not a lot
of other people. Well, they block off that time
for the Ladies League, actually.That's a good idea.
Yeah, and you will never guess, so I'm just going to tell you I
(07:37):
got a bogey. That's one over par, right?
I. Wow, I had several the other
day. Yeah.
Shut up, it's not about you. It's about not having to write
an 8 or a nine on every other hole, yeah.
So the way we have to do it is you could the Max is double par
(07:57):
OK and and they're anywhere fromthree to five.
The par par 3 to 5 is what is what they're so you do your
there. Are very rarely any par sixes or
part twos. Sure, I guess it's.
Part twos like 3-4 or five. Is that all?
All golf courses everywhere are that.
Pretty much. I mean, I maybe it's some part
of the world they have par twos and par sevens, I don't know.
(08:21):
It's just, well, I'm telling you, hole #9 on this course
should be a par 7 because minimum nobody's getting that in
five tell you right now. Sure, whatever.
Anyway, so our whole goal for basically our entire group is
just double par or less that like double par because if it's
if it's more than that, like we just stop, we just quit.
(08:44):
We don't Even so it would be like 10/0 'cause we didn't even
putt so on. In this case, I couldn't believe
that I got AI had a really greathole and I can't remember which
hole it was on, but I. What was the par?
It was a four and I got a 5, right?
Like, that's pretty good. Yeah.
(09:04):
Wow. I came home and told Jeremy he's
like, Oh yeah, that one. I could see you getting a like,
thank you. Right.
So I got a bogey, right? So it's, I mean, I'm getting
better already. Week 2.
That's great. I know.
The rate of improving seems to be a lot faster at golf than it
was for hockey. Hockey.
Yeah. You know what?
Tonight I went to just before I was here with you guys, a
(09:26):
workout in the park. Those have started again.
I do those in the summertime, spring and summer here in my
little town. And so people.
Were like. Yes, yeah, I did drive there.
We had a lot of weights to carrylug in.
So they were like, you were playing hockey this summer, this
winter. How was that?
I was like, you know what, it really fucking sucked.
(09:47):
Like I don't they're like, are you going to do it again?
I'm like, I guess so like, I guess I'll do it again because I
think. Everyone.
Peer pressure. Yeah, peer pressure.
I'm very easily peer pressured, which is good for being involved
in things. Not good if you're, you know,
trying to get someone to do drugs, I guess.
So don't fall for that. But.
You're what on the PTA again because of peer pressure?
(10:10):
The vice president, Yeah. So hockey, as you said, it seems
like you do better with golf than hockey.
And I, I would agree with that. Long story short, yes.
Are you walking when you golf? No, no, no.
And in fact, my friend was driving the cart last time and
(10:31):
she is aggressive. I was like, you are going to
kill me with this cart. Like, do you?
She's like rounding corners, like, you know, like, can you
slow down, please? She's like, oh, calm down.
You guys are going to tip over before the seasons done, yeah.
Anyway, yeah, so those doing good and I got a bogey.
(10:53):
That was my story. To take you.
And I thought you would be more impressed than you are.
I am. Thank you.
Thank you. Very like a bogey is not
something we call impressive. It is.
It's better than a double bogey.I I.
What's illegal is that one under.
That's two under. Two under well.
What's 1 under? Birdie a birdie.
(11:15):
A birdie. OK, right.
When you get birdie I will be seriously impressed.
OK, I will. Be every single day I will be a
GOG. A GOG.
If you get if you get a party. When you get a par, I'll throw
you a sparkle Princess party. OK, well.
(11:35):
Now. OK, now we're talking that'll.
Happen this year. I think I'll get a par at some
point. OK, It can't be that hard.
Dave does it. Her.
(12:01):
This is due to underwhelming demand.
The podcast that kind of knows what dad wants for Father's Day.
You could start with an ice cold6 pack of beer, tall boys,
preferably tall boys, and then maybe take mom for a nice long
brunch. It's not a bad idea.
(12:23):
The kids should take my My kids aren't taking me out.
Well. I guess I'd have to take them.
That's what Dad wants. That's what Dad wants.
That's what I wanted and everybody was right beside me
all day long. Maybe Dad doesn't get what he
wants. Oh, Ouch.
All I ever want is alone time. Do I ever get it?
(12:45):
No. The The plight of Father's Day
is how well did Mother's Day go a month earlier, right?
That's the proper. Yeah, only Father's Day was
first. That's.
Right. Yeah.
If you set the bar too high or too low.
Yeah, that's right. That's what happens.
And if only I didn't have to payfor parking every month, that's
(13:06):
what I want. You're paying.
I thought you were. You hooked up with Righty and he
got you a good deal. That's Lefty I.
Think yeah, but we're calling him, you know, anonymous.
That guy whose name we shall notspeak.
You just call him Limbs. Well then, let's just give him a
better name. Righty.
Righty. He still has to be somewhat
(13:28):
identifiable, like it's the sameperson.
Stinky. Stinky.
Stinky A. Lot better.
No, especially when he finds outwhat I'm doing to him now.
What's happening? Well, because it turned into a
oh, there's a daily rate or whatever, but if you pay cash,
get you a monthly rate, that's alittle bit better.
(13:50):
OK. All right.
So we've entered another month. Yes.
And righty's only there for certain hours of the AM and I
work in the PM and will arrive typically mid morning.
So it can be a challenge to cross paths with righty in order
(14:10):
to exchange cash for pass. OK, yes, sure, I get that.
And the first day of June, 1st weekday of June I only had a May
pass and did not go on the app and pay for parking that day.
And when I came out, there's no ticket on my car.
(14:31):
Oh God, so you decided to chanceit again?
And the next day, totally clear.And the next day, wow, totally
clear. And then I don't think I'm going
to pay for parking anymore, guys.
Because you don't think they're checking it.
I thought you were going to say you got a ticket and now you're
really stuck for money. That's my backup plan.
(14:51):
Is that? Yeah.
Look, I had the May pass, but I come here later and you're
already gone. So I was planning to look.
Here's the money for the whole month I'm paid up.
Let's tear up this ticket. Sure.
Well did the did the guys give the tickets?
Like would righty give the tickets?
I don't know. I haven't seen one yet.
Ticket from the OK. And I've heard whispers of some
(15:13):
of the other some of the other part time staff that have long
since given up pain for parking.They don't pay.
They don't pay. No.
And no one checks. Apparently.
Now you're giving away everyone's secrets.
I shouldn't have been so specific about what lot this was
in the first place. No, no, don't listen to any back
(15:34):
episodes. No, is this don't connect any
dots don't connect. Any dots?
No. Is this a wow?
Private lot. It's owned by some corporation.
Like Righty doesn't own this thing, so I'm not taking money
out of his pocket. He's private, right?
He's an employee of whatever corporation.
Sure. OK.
Who? Cares about corporations.
(15:57):
Well, that's the. Thing it's not I mean.
If you get a parking. I'm a corporation.
If you get a parking ticket on aon a city street, I I think you
have to pay that. Well, that's the Commissioners,
that's the City of London. But if?
You get a ticket. In a.
(16:18):
Private lot in a private lot andthey say you owe us money.
No, I don't. No.
Is that true? Sue me.
I mean, they could take you to sue.
Me over $7.00 Yeah sure right they could but they probably a
hassle for them. Just let me park there and it'll
be hassle free. I did years ago get a parking
(16:40):
ticket at Western University andI had friends at the time, this
was almost 20 years ago, who worked in the parking office
there. And she said, yeah, don't bother
paying it. It's 20 bucks.
They're not going to go. They're not going to go to
collections for that. It would cost them more than
that to to go to collections. At Dalhousie University, or if
(17:01):
you're not getting a ticket, we used to park at the the Dalplex,
the pool building for Harley swimming in Halifax.
And the whole lot was like, Oh yeah, scan the code or use the
machine or whatever. Like we checked the lot, you
know, it's a paid lot. It's a university lot.
The very first night everyone's like, Oh no, you don't have to
pay. And we didn't for two years.
(17:26):
No one ever gonna take it for any reason.
It just park. So they're only getting money
from newcomers like you who don't know.
Yeah. Idiots.
Parking is such a scam. I think parking for parking is
such a scam. That's like one thing if you're
going. To town, London.
I know they always say why don'tpeople come down more?
(17:48):
There is not enough free parking.
Like I'm going to go somewhere that's free.
Well, and I don't want to have to pay, you know.
My lot that turns out to be freeso far.
Yeah, but not everybody knows that, so I wouldn't know that.
And like of all things, and I. Actually don't remember where it
is, even though you've already so I don't know.
Because I feel parking is that one thing that if you can get
(18:11):
away with. Yeah.
Not paying for it even though you're supposed to?
Yeah, there's no shame. It's such a racket, charging
people for parking. It's an open space.
I'm putting my car in it. Yeah, and I'm not paying you
hundreds of dollars a year to doit.
But if you own a parking lot, it's so lucrative.
Like I bet you make money hand over fist with you owning your
(18:33):
own parking lot. I bet.
Yeah, because. This is a complete racket.
It is. I think so too, yeah.
Anything you should get. Away with not paying for
parking, Take it and don't feel bad like another.
Man, yes. Any thoughts, Dave?
No, I agree basically. I Nobody likes paying for
(18:53):
parking. Nobody wants to do that.
You're right. If you don't have, if you're
not, if you can get away with not, then you're right.
People are going to do it. OK.
Glad we all agree. I'll keep you updated.
(19:15):
This is due to underwhelming demand.
The podcast with Dave, Rachel and Foreman that knows Father's
Day is the one day of the year, especially if you're a dad of
girls, Foreman and you know. Jeremy.
Jeremy. Yeah, this isn't a problem for
you right now, but wait for a couple of years anyway.
(19:36):
Father's Day is the one day of the year where you don't send
Dad out to the store for tampons.
OK, that's. Don't ask him that day any other
day, fine. Well, it's not fine.
Well, but you know you'll do it.I'll do it Father's Day, don't
ask me. In an emergency situation, yes,
(19:58):
but that emergency ain't happening on Father's Day.
Don't. Let it happen on Father's Day.
You kind of know these things, right?
Right. Don't let it.
Out. You could drive them there and
then wait in the car if you needed.
Well, I'd I'd like not to do that either, no.
Ask Mom is what you're saying? That's right.
I think that's. Fair.
All right, all right, time for headlines.
(20:22):
I know people send them to you. So people send them to us for
you. Yes, Right.
So. It's well, Foreman sends me
headlines all the time. Yes, he started sending me fun
facts like how you finally started helping me out.
Thank you. I love it when somebody does my
work for me. So thank you, Foreman.
Now, Rachel. Happy fucking Father's Day.
Yeah, Happy Father's Day. I'll do it all for you.
(20:45):
Yeah, I'm not paying to park. Yeah, how about your day to
Rachel? Happy Father's Day to Dave.
That's right. All right.
Because these headlines, some ofthem, many of them were from
Foreman. Foreman has a thing for Guelph.
So we have a. What's the issue with Guelph?
I don't know. We have a couple of things going
(21:06):
on in Guelph. We'll call it what's going on in
Guelph? Headlines.
There's always something up going on.
Guelph. Yes, like Guelph Thief.
Thanks staff, as he walks out ofstore with nearly $900 worth of
stolen booze headlines. We thanked them and.
That's a lot. To carry us.
(21:28):
Her to term a brazen robbery? That's brazen.
That's brazen. That's a brazen.
Yeah, that's wow. Have a great day everyone.
Thanks guys. I just hit the mic.
Thanks guys. Here's another Guelph man
accused of trying to urinate on strangers arrested for 1/3 time.
EW Gross. Gross.
(21:51):
That's an actual headline. Is he being arrested for the
same thing? Probably.
Would it gross like? Just going around peeing on
strangers. Yeah, stop letting him back out.
This is a local headline, sort of.
Thank you. Foreman boat named Saint Clair
Whores already funny, See, it's already WHOR.
(22:19):
Oh, oh, oh, OK. Boat named Saint Clair Whores
owned by local strippers. OK.
Causes a stir on guess where Lake Saint Clair.
Sure. Yeah, real headline.
It was just a stir, nothing morethan a stir.
Sure. Just a stir.
Yeah, So I mean minor. Sure.
I. Mean it is printed on the back
(22:40):
of the boat though. Wow, OK.
My boat register your boat name.I thought maybe the boat was
like hors or something, like just funny.
It's they're usually party, but not that one.
Yeah, yeah. OK, no to Kentucky.
Kentucky kid accidentally ordered 70,000 Dum Dums on
(23:01):
Amazon. What are Dum Dums?
The candy. Suckers.
Oh suckers 30. Cases of them arrived at their
door. My God.
Headlines Wow, don't let your kid on your phone.
No bear found sitting on stove inside Kentucky home after
(23:21):
crashing through ceiling. What?
That's an actual headline. Crashed through the ceiling and.
Sat on the stove. And landed on the.
Just where it landed, I guess. Wow.
The beginning of a fairy tale. That's right, this feels just
right. And thank you to Debbie Gandon
(23:42):
for this one. See.
Oh yes, doing my work for me. KFC releases chicken flavored
toothpaste. Real headlines.
Gross. No.
Who wants that? That is that for real.
I don't know why anyone wants toothpaste of any other flavor
other than mint. It's the universal flavor of
clean. Yes, yes, yeah.
(24:04):
Like even lemon is like the universal scent of clean.
But I don't want lemon toothpaste.
No. Well, lemon would be better than
chicken. Lemon would be better than
chicken right fried. Chicken.
My kids hate mint toothpaste because they think it's spicy.
I see. My gosh, here we go.
Mom attacks principal and Superintendent after being
(24:26):
called to school to discuss daughters fighting.
Oh. Well, it all makes sense,
doesn't it? Headlines.
What is this saying? Something something doesn't an
apple doesn't. Far, far from the tree.
There you go. And you try and steal it.
I'll fight you. Yeah.
Kind of thing. Sure.
Yeah. Scientists blast human cells
(24:48):
with 5G and nothing happens. What surprise.
That's an actual headline. Yes, but the people who think 5G
effects things don't believe in science, so that doesn't matter.
Just it's about Joe Biden study,right?
It's all new, right? Flying Burrito results in
(25:11):
alleged car ramming. Real headlines.
That that headline took me a minute to piece together.
Applying burrito results in alleged car ram.
Yeah, I feel like. Someone threw a burrito.
Where did the tomato? Come from and where did it go?
Exactly. Delicious, but it sure is
filling. So many out the.
Car window. It's a good done with it.
(25:31):
It's a good headline because it there's a lot going on.
Yes, in like 7 words. Yes, a lot there.
Those are the best kind, yeah. Teenage monkeys are kidnapping
baby monkeys from other monkeys for fun.
Headlines. What little shits.
They're hilarious. Where are their parents?
No, come on, no come on Man, 24,poses as teenager and attends
(26:00):
Ohio High School for over a year.
That's an actual headline. I am so baffled at those
stories. It's always somebody who's 20 or
30 something and like, how did no one notice?
If you're a baby faced 24 year old, you could pass for an 18
year old, you know? Yes you could.
Like you could also be a beard like that 20. 4 year old and and
(26:22):
make. It and look for it look like a
30 year old. Well, he could.
But but then you're not if you're in high school.
And so then they wouldn't question it.
You're right. All right, all right.
I cried for three days. Now it's your turn.
Woman in China sends 1000kg of onions to cheating ex's home.
That's actually brilliant. I like that.
(26:44):
Real headlines. 1000 kilograms. Is insane that's.
Yeah, it's your turn now. Get.
Back at it, I don't know. That would have been very
expensive. Yeah, it's like you.
Know she used his money. Oh well, she could have.
Could have a new category. Thank you Foreman.
Fart headlines. Here we go.
(27:05):
Were you waiting for this? Oh my God, fart.
Headlines. I don't even remember what ones
I've sent you, so we've got. To find a fart sound foreman
God. Yep.
OK, fart headlines Woman says her ex gave her a seven-year
sinus infection by farting in her face.
Oh my God, seven-year infection headlines.
(27:26):
That seems. Like one time he did it and then
she had. Nothing.
Yeah, that seems that's potent. That's.
Yeah, good luck for that. Yeah, popular Toronto Park has
been venting flammable fart gas for a century.
How the park outside? That's an actual headline.
(27:47):
How does that? What do you mean?
I don't get it. It's just we need to look at a
flammable fart. Gas I I think I did if I recall
correctly. I looked at I had to know and I
think it's used to be a dump. There you go.
Oh, I see. So, but OK, yeah.
Just put a park on top, it's fine.
Sure. Yeah, really.
You know those random oddly placed giant vents you see all
(28:09):
over town coming out of the ground?
Oh. Guess why?
There. You go fart gas.
Flammable. Fart gas.
Flammable fart gas is funny. It's just fantastic.
Yeah, fart Fart puts the ass in assault in Pennsylvania.
(28:33):
Real headlines. That's pretty good.
That's well. Written.
I like that. And then there's Wow.
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, that is well written.
Fart puts the ass in assault. Man and then there's these.
Thank you Foreman. Study finds Uranus change
(28:53):
structure and brighten significantly.
Headlines. Uranus change structure and
brighten. Significantly, no.
Thank God. No.
Not. Not only.
God Foreman. Uranus Uranus is full of
surprises after 20 years of observation.
(29:17):
That's an actual headline. Yeah, of course it is.
Yeah, Foreman, those dying, dying for that.
Those don't ever. They're not that funny.
They never they never get. Prizes, yeah.
That funny those? Are always funny.
That's right. Now you need to be always.
(29:38):
Funny. Those are always funny.
That was so not that funny, but he's killing it.
There it is. It's funny, the Uranus is full
of surprises after 20 years, so my.
Face hurts. That's pretty funny.
OK. That's a good headline.
(30:00):
All right, off to. My cheeks hurt.
That's. Bad.
Oh yeah. Which one?
They brightened significant. Yeah, how's that?
They have brightened. My God.
OK. OK, here we go.
We're we're going to Florida. Let's get to Florida.
We have to be in Florida. All right.
(30:20):
Florida Florida Man is 2025's first Yellowstone bison Goring
victim. Oh.
Real headlines. That seems appropriate, though
too soon it seems about right. Well, I mean, it's going to be.
Someone from Florida? Yeah, that's what I think
(30:42):
Florida went all the way. Up to Yellowstone.
Sure, Florida woman got arrestedfor shoving nachos down her
wife's pants. What headlines improving?
Even Florida has its limits, youknow.
Hurry is really is full of surprises.
Well, that's true. Now, that's very true.
She. Didn't like it?
(31:03):
Florida area. Charged her wife.
Florida veterinarian mitigates Peacock problem with
vasectomies. That's an actual headline.
What a job. Well, that really could apply to
Peacocks, or men actually. Eliminates the men problem.
Well, it just prevents them frompeacocking around.
(31:26):
Calm down over there, right? Well, there you go.
Fine. Thank you.
Calm down over there. Wow.
Right, thanks. If there was another woman here,
she'd agree with me. What peacocking I'm?
Stuck with you guys. All right, all right.
Florida woman arrested after allegedly turning Neighborhood
(31:47):
Watch into neighborhood smacked out.
Wow, like WWE? Real headlines.
That's just funny. That's just funny.
Neighborhood watching neighborhoods back out.
Come on, don't. Get her in trouble for that.
She's the only Karen that was upset about something and, you
(32:08):
know, yeah. That's that is Florida.
Absolutely. Neighborhood.
Ever. Yeah, that's right.
Florida man drug dealer kidnaps rival and tortures him.
Hot sauce. Oh, like makes him eat it
headlines. I'd imagine that.
(32:29):
Is that torture? I don't know.
Guess it is. Depending on.
Depending on if you like it or not, it'd be torture For me.
I have a baby mouth. A baby mouth, I see.
OK. I see.
Florida woman postal delivery worker arrested on DUI charge
(32:53):
after drinking vodka at house party while on delivery route.
I mean, you can't do that. That's an actual headline.
You can't. Not even in Florida.
They let you get away with a lotin Florida, but the crazy ones
they catch. What's her delivery vehicle
there? An alligator.
(33:14):
No, I didn't say anything. Nothing could get between hangry
Florida Man and late night Del Taco.
I mean, I don't know. Same.
Real headlines I don't. Know I don't know what happened,
but it's a headline so there yougo.
Florida Man breaks into his ex girlfriend's home through a
doggie door. Ex finds him in her bed and his
(33:38):
struggle ensues leading to Florida Man leaving the house
through the doggie door again. Again, good, he should headlines
don't break into someone's houseand go in their bed.
You're. Probably not by choice on the
way out. No.
I wouldn't think. Get back through there.
Was that the Smackdown neighborhood?
You are a dog. Could be you are a dog.
(34:01):
Yeah, Barefoot Florida man wrestles giant alligator on Hwy.
median Yeah. That's an actual headline.
Barefoot, any wrestling? Well, that's that's the ultimate
Florida. That's on the Florida side.
Welcome to Florida. It's that guy.
Yeah. And yeah, that would be great
that it. Should be someone would be there
someone barefoot wrestling a Gator you know, on crystal meth
(34:25):
or drunk. Yep, half naked at least.
Fully naked, sure. Bonus points, you know.
Bonus points. Yeah, these barefoot.
Just barefoot. Yeah, that we're wrestling a
giant Gator. Yeah.
And doing it in the middle of a median Hwy.
Median drunk, pantsless. My that's I mean, I should be
(34:46):
so. We know where this is going.
No, wait. Drunk pantsless Florida Man said
he wasn't a drunk pantsless Florida Man.
He was Charles Dickens. What?
Real headlines. Wow, yeah.
There you go. What a life, all right one.
More Florida Man befriends someone at the bar and buys him
(35:07):
a beer. He's arrested later that night
after firing his gun at the new friend for refusing to reimburse
him the $5 for the beer. What?
Real headlines. This is why Americans shouldn't
have guns. They just shouldn't.
They would argue This is why they should.
They know. For.
This exact reason. Yeah, I know.
(35:30):
Want my beer? I know.
(35:55):
This is due to underwhelming demand.
The podcast We are Dave, Rachel and Foreman.
Shout out to Sparkle Princess Parties for sponsoring this fine
podcast. That's right, if you know
someone, or you yourself or a rich uncle of yours wants to
throw money at us, all you have to do is go to our website
(36:16):
whichisunderwhelming.ca and justclick on.
How do I sponsor the podcast? That's right, we have a
sponsorship page there or you can e-mail us Dave
rachelforeman@gmail.com on our website.
You could also buy us a coffee. Maybe you don't want to sponsor,
maybe you want to buy us a coffee for 5 bucks because that
helps us too. Someone, they, some people don't
(36:37):
give names so it just says someone bought 5 coffees and
they say I've listened and I nowwatch your podcast since the
beginning. Makes me look forward to Tuesday
mornings. Keep up the great work.
Thank you so much. That's nice.
Thank you for buying us some coffees.
And before we get into some of your messages, because that is
the highlight of our week. Yes.
(36:58):
A couple shout outs from being at the Ontario Artistic Swimming
Championships. OK.
Oh yeah, because I was doing a little bit of a announcing there
all. Right, that's your volunteer
job. Yes, and you're at the Aquatic
Center. Right, Canada Games Aquatic
Center. I also ran into a celebrity who
happens to be a father. Another celebrity, a father of
(37:19):
an athlete on one of the other teams from the Toronto area.
Would you like to take a few guesses at who the celebrity
might be? What?
Celebrity did Foreman run into? I don't know who's got kids at
your age? He's a dad.
He's a dad like Jerry D or something like that comedian.
No, but keep going down a similar path I would say.
(37:41):
Oh, Russell Peters is he? Does he have kids?
No. Why don't you ask me the
questions and then I might review.
Is he a? Media person.
He is a media person. Is he a comedian?
He hosts comedians on a weekly basis nationally.
Hosts. And he's Canadian.
(38:02):
On the radio. On the radio.
Nationally on the radio hosting comedians.
Oh, Paul. What's his face?
The country guy. Not musicians, comedians,
comedians. They try and the whole show is
in theaters that travels the country so they have a live
audience. I haven't got a.
(38:23):
Clue. I have no idea.
Yeah, I don't have a clue but. Am I going to know this person?
But I'm intrigued. I don't even know if you might
Dave might have heard of him or the show.
I feel like this show, this person will be known by a decent
core group of people in a lot ofplaces.
Right, I probably. Wouldn't know him to look at him
(38:44):
because I had to go up and take a picture, but we're showing it
now. Oh no, I don't know who that is.
In its 20th season, Steve Patterson, host of The Debaters.
Oh wow. The debaters.
OK, I've heard of that show. Yeah.
On. CBC Wow.
Yeah. His daughter was competing
(39:04):
against mine. Hello Canada, and welcome back
to the Winnipeg Comedy Festival.Yes, which takes place each year
in Winnipeg. It's the second most anticipated
celebration in the city, right behind Caesar Week where over 30
(39:27):
bars compete to be named in the bar.
Top Hall of Fame judges sit in aspecial roped off area of the
restaurant, which I guess is called the Cesarean section.
Oh. Interesting.
I'm that's great, Foreman. I have to say, look.
At you with all your celeb. Friends never heard of him.
He does not look familiar to me.I've heard of the show but I
(39:50):
haven't watched it, sorry. Good for you.
Yeah, it's a fun little show. I think it's even available as a
podcast, too. It's a good little show.
We have a few more messages. Stacy bought us 5 coffees.
And she says thank you, Stacey. She says happy birthday, Rachel
and Foreman. So thank you very much.
I got an e-mail from Pamela who says I was talking to a few
(40:12):
weeks ago about how I embarrassed Julia at the bus
stop. Hi, Rachel.
I love your family stories. I just listened to your podcast
about how you embarrassed Julia.My mom and dad used to drive me
to Medway every day. I went to Medway, which was
great. They had to go.
You didn't have to take the bus.You were like the one percenter
that didn't have to take the bus.
Lucky you. They had to go by the door on
(40:34):
the way to work, so it worked out perfect.
My dad used to yell don't look, Ethel just as I was about to go
into Medway's front doors. That phrase tells you how long
ago this was. I don't know.
I don't know what that means. I don't.
Know that song, I think. Don't look, Ethel.
I think. Anyway, I think that
embarrassing your child is one of your duties as a mom.
I agree. I try my best to embarrass my
(40:57):
girls as well. Right in the middle of groups of
friends is the best time. Keep it up, Rachel.
Love listening to the old group again from Pamela.
Thank you very much. Pamela.
Thank you. We have another message on
Facebook or Instagram. Instagram from Aaron.
Yes. Because you had your garage
sale, which we assume went well,and you got rid of all your
stuff. Not all of it, but again,
(41:19):
everybody wants everything for dirt cheap.
So it but we would sell it. We're like fine, $2.00 here.
Like if I'm selling something for $2.00, I might as well just
give it to you for free, right? Like really.
Anyway, whatever, yeah. Well, Aaron said he got a $1400
propane fire table for 200 bucksfrom a garage sale.
(41:39):
Everything works, he said. Everything works.
A few scratches, but that's it. Well, a lot of people don't want
to pay $200, even if it if it's worth a lot more.
Still seems quite pricey for a garage.
They'll be like, I'll give you 50.
Yeah, I got 20 bucks, so yeah. 20 bucks for that $1400 fire
table. Exactly.
That's probably. Brand new.
Aaron does say, also Rachel, I went to a La Quinta Inn in
(42:04):
Indianapolis. OK.
It had white duvets and white bed sheets, but the lobby
smelled like bleach, blood stains in a few rooms, a broken
water line in the main ground hallway, and a lady of the night
who was very angry leaving the hotel when we were going to our
room. OK, I probably wouldn't stay at
(42:29):
a La Quinta, but. Just because it has the white
duvet? OK, I guess I need to up my
standards even more than maybe alittle.
Yeah. Maybe a little.
And we have a voice note, right?From.
Nova School. Shop Nova School Shop.
Just finished listening to the last episode.
The only thing I could say rightnow is if you guys start making
(42:50):
T-shirts you need to have one that says you know what, fuck
you, I like puzzles. Too bad.
Fuck off. You may have to put some of that
on the back of the shirt and some on the front.
I'm not sure but that. That was perfect.
Did I say that? Sure, sounds like you.
Yeah, it does sort of sound likeyou.
(43:14):
Who's going to buy our merch? Well, there's one person that
would buy it or sell it to us. I don't know what you mean.
Yeah. Thank you, Scotty.
I was part of a special task force of very young looking cops
who infiltrated high schools. How do you do, fellow kids?
(43:37):
What? You're just like, you know what?
Fuck you. I like puzzles.
Too bad. Fuck off.
I miss doing the fun stuff and like recording stuff like that
and just being silly. That was a lot of fun.
I'm lonely in my basement. That's true.
Yeah. Sad.
Sad, sad, sad. I say that to people and nobody
(00:22):
gets it. I'm like sad.
And they're just like what the fuck?
Why are you just saying it like that?
That's still what I use as my wrong buzzer is like E and it's
him saying wrong for everything.Wrong.
Nobody knows that it's Trump. And I think that's actually
Dave's voice doing the E. It is.
(00:45):
Yeah, wrong. This is due to underwhelming
demand. It is a podcast with Dave Rachel
inform and it's the podcast thatreminds you Father's Day is just
about here. You be sure to call you
(01:05):
FaceTime, you text. You purchase.
Maybe a little impersonal, but yes, you purchase.
Yeah, OK. Yeah, you BBQ for.
Him. Yeah, well, that never happens.
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah anyway remember he is your
Co creator. Yes.
And when you reach the age whereyou understand what that means,
(01:27):
guaranteed you go you. Oh.
My God. You, David?
Yeah, I know. You're welcome.
What do you guys want for Father's Day because I don't
really know what to get Jeremy. Oh, I haven't.
I I have. I have something a little later
that might work for you. OK, you might.
Like. So won't spoil it then, yeah.
(01:48):
You. Just need some.
Ideas this fine a podcast and we're going to get to this in a
in a second is brought to you bySparkle Princess parties.
But first, I just want to let you know a little later on the
podcast, I have some headlines. Yes, yeah.
And make them up. I don't have.
To got a good collection now. Always you.
Save them up. Yeah, yeah.
(02:09):
Yeah, Foreman feeds me. Foreman also has an update on
his parking downtown issues, which I love.
OK. And Rachel somehow is still
playing golf. We'll get to that.
I. Don't know about that one.
Yeah, I'm not sure what that I. You, you just wait.
Just wait. I've got a good update for you.
OK, the better involved. The plane are doing a lot of
(02:31):
heavy lifting. I I feel like this better
involved. Like he said that.
A hole in one or something, right?
And if you're going to, you havesomething to tell us.
Right. Anyway, we'll we'll see what
that is, no? No.
No. Are you throwing a golf theme to
sparkle Christmas party? Yes, I was trying to pull, you
(02:51):
know, people are excited to findout and now you go.
I didn't do. That no, it wasn't a hole in
one. Oh.
OK, all right, well, we'll get to that.
Let's now that you've brought the mood down, let's talk about
Sparkle Princess parties. Yes.
Well, as Foreman said, if you'rehaving a golf Princess party, a
golf party of any kind, Abigail can help you sparkle Princess
(03:12):
parties. Abigail will do face painting,
she'll do glitter tattoos. She does provides activities for
a themed party like a golf partyor I don't know, maybe you're
having a slumber party or some kind of pool party.
I don't. What are you going to do this
summer theme party? Party Prom.
Dirty school. Party prom, Yeah.
You know I don't have young children like you 2 do, right?
(03:35):
But I'll bet you she could do a frozen party.
Oh gosh, I bet you she's done many.
Oh, for sure, Yeah, yes, she could.
She says she'll plan and providesupplies and instruction on
crafts or activities for you that match your party theme.
For instance, she did like a Beauty and the Beast themed
(03:56):
party and they they made the magic mirror that Bell uses in
Beauty and the Beast and they made paper crowns and all kinds
of stuff. She can also do face painting.
Now when I say she does face painting, like it's really good
face, it's. Elaborate.
It's elaborate. It's fancy.
It's like, it almost looks like airbrush, but it's not.
You know? It does.
(04:17):
Yeah. That's the kind of face painting
I'm talking about. She's got glitter tattoos that
she offers as well. So she can do those all kinds of
things. And if you're having, maybe
you're having like, an outdoor children's kind of festival or
big party for your, you know, school or your swim team forming
your swim group. You could do that.
Pass her name along. Abigail Sparkle Princess Party.
(04:39):
She's on Facebook and Instagram.You can look her up there and
she's based in Woodstock, so she'll go anywhere in the area.
I think that's, you know, Oxford, Elgin, Middlesex,
Norfolk, maybe. I don't know if you're in in and
around that area. So you can contact her.
We'll put her contact info in the show notes.
Maybe I should have a golf themed party because I am still
(05:01):
in our ladies league golf league.
Ladies Golf League. You're in a league.
How? Many.
Well, we talked about, I don't know how many are in the whole
thing. I don't know.
There's five of us that signed up together.
Now usually not all of us are available each week.
So I've only gone 2 times. You've gone a second time.
(05:25):
I've gone a second time. Wow.
And I find that at the beginningof the round we all suck big
time. But it by the end we're doing
we're doing OK now. But that being said, the 9th
hole is a par 5 and it really fucking sucks really badly so.
It's like you hit your first shot, your second shot.
(05:48):
And the third shot. And then your third.
Shot should be on the green and then you're putting for birdie.
That's a par putt third shot on the.
Green on the par 5. That's hilarious, yeah.
Real funny. You can't even see the green
from the like from my third shot.
You hit one out there, the firstshot, couple 100 yards.
(06:09):
Right. That shouldn't be a problem.
No. At your age.
I don't for me. It's getting tougher, you know,
I got, you know. You know, a little.
Strength, all that stuff. That's only if you hit the ball
each time you swing, you know, like that's hard enough.
There's a lot of swinging and missing.
(06:29):
And if the ball doesn't roll 3 feet away after you've taken the
biggest swing you've ever swung.Or we top the ball and then you
top it again because you tried to.
Do the same. Thing.
So it's not going that far. Ladies golf league thing should
be maybe before you even set foot on the golf course is, you
(06:51):
know, two or three lessons. Nah.
You know how to hold a Golf Club.
Probably, yes. Well, I've had lessons.
I've taken a bit of lessons in my life, OK.
And Jeremy's taught me and you've given me tips also
because I've had to golf with you a few times.
But if you have. Lessons now then, that's going
to get in the way of breakfast. Yeah, that's what I think.
(07:13):
OK, so. Well we go Thursday night so the
breakfast was only it was a one time deal so now.
You're not getting in the way. You're not getting in the way of
everywhere Thursday. It's the perfect time to go
because probably when you're playing golf, there's not a lot
of other people. Well, they block off that time
for the Ladies League, actually.That's a good idea.
Yeah, and you will never guess, so I'm just going to tell you I
(07:37):
got a bogey. That's one over par, right?
I. Wow, I had several the other
day. Yeah.
Shut up, it's not about you. It's about not having to write
an 8 or a nine on every other hole, yeah.
So the way we have to do it is you could the Max is double par
(07:57):
OK and and they're anywhere fromthree to five.
The par par 3 to 5 is what is what they're so you do your
there. Are very rarely any par sixes or
part twos. Sure, I guess it's.
Part twos like 3-4 or five. Is that all?
All golf courses everywhere are that.
Pretty much. I mean, I maybe it's some part
of the world they have par twos and par sevens, I don't know.
(08:21):
It's just, well, I'm telling you, hole #9 on this course
should be a par 7 because minimum nobody's getting that in
five tell you right now. Sure, whatever.
Anyway, so our whole goal for basically our entire group is
just double par or less that like double par because if it's
if it's more than that, like we just stop, we just quit.
(08:44):
We don't Even so it would be like 10/0 'cause we didn't even
putt so on. In this case, I couldn't believe
that I got AI had a really greathole and I can't remember which
hole it was on, but I. What was the par?
It was a four and I got a 5, right?
Like, that's pretty good. Yeah.
(09:04):
Wow. I came home and told Jeremy he's
like, Oh yeah, that one. I could see you getting a like,
thank you. Right.
So I got a bogey, right? So it's, I mean, I'm getting
better already. Week 2.
That's great. I know.
The rate of improving seems to be a lot faster at golf than it
was for hockey. Hockey.
Yeah. You know what?
Tonight I went to just before I was here with you guys, a
(09:26):
workout in the park. Those have started again.
I do those in the summertime, spring and summer here in my
little town. And so people.
Were like. Yes, yeah, I did drive there.
We had a lot of weights to carrylug in.
So they were like, you were playing hockey this summer, this
winter. How was that?
I was like, you know what, it really fucking sucked.
(09:47):
Like I don't they're like, are you going to do it again?
I'm like, I guess so like, I guess I'll do it again because I
think. Everyone.
Peer pressure. Yeah, peer pressure.
I'm very easily peer pressured, which is good for being involved
in things. Not good if you're, you know,
trying to get someone to do drugs, I guess.
So don't fall for that. But.
You're what on the PTA again because of peer pressure?
(10:10):
The vice president, Yeah. So hockey, as you said, it seems
like you do better with golf than hockey.
And I, I would agree with that. Long story short, yes.
Are you walking when you golf? No, no, no.
And in fact, my friend was driving the cart last time and
(10:31):
she is aggressive. I was like, you are going to
kill me with this cart. Like, do you?
She's like rounding corners, like, you know, like, can you
slow down, please? She's like, oh, calm down.
You guys are going to tip over before the seasons done, yeah.
Anyway, yeah, so those doing good and I got a bogey.
(10:53):
That was my story. To take you.
And I thought you would be more impressed than you are.
I am. Thank you.
Thank you. Very like a bogey is not
something we call impressive. It is.
It's better than a double bogey.I I.
What's illegal is that one under.
That's two under. Two under well.
What's 1 under? Birdie a birdie.
(11:15):
A birdie. OK, right.
When you get birdie I will be seriously impressed.
OK, I will. Be every single day I will be a
GOG. A GOG.
If you get if you get a party. When you get a par, I'll throw
you a sparkle Princess party. OK, well.
(11:35):
Now. OK, now we're talking that'll.
Happen this year. I think I'll get a par at some
point. OK, It can't be that hard.
Dave does it. Her.
(12:01):
This is due to underwhelming demand.
The podcast that kind of knows what dad wants for Father's Day.
You could start with an ice cold6 pack of beer, tall boys,
preferably tall boys, and then maybe take mom for a nice long
brunch. It's not a bad idea.
(12:23):
The kids should take my My kids aren't taking me out.
Well. I guess I'd have to take them.
That's what Dad wants. That's what Dad wants.
That's what I wanted and everybody was right beside me
all day long. Maybe Dad doesn't get what he
wants. Oh, Ouch.
All I ever want is alone time. Do I ever get it?
(12:45):
No. The The plight of Father's Day
is how well did Mother's Day go a month earlier, right?
That's the proper. Yeah, only Father's Day was
first. That's.
Right. Yeah.
If you set the bar too high or too low.
Yeah, that's right. That's what happens.
And if only I didn't have to payfor parking every month, that's
(13:06):
what I want. You're paying.
I thought you were. You hooked up with Righty and he
got you a good deal. That's Lefty I.
Think yeah, but we're calling him, you know, anonymous.
That guy whose name we shall notspeak.
You just call him Limbs. Well then, let's just give him a
better name. Righty.
Righty. He still has to be somewhat
(13:28):
identifiable, like it's the sameperson.
Stinky. Stinky.
Stinky A. Lot better.
No, especially when he finds outwhat I'm doing to him now.
What's happening? Well, because it turned into a
oh, there's a daily rate or whatever, but if you pay cash,
get you a monthly rate, that's alittle bit better.
(13:50):
OK. All right.
So we've entered another month. Yes.
And righty's only there for certain hours of the AM and I
work in the PM and will arrive typically mid morning.
So it can be a challenge to cross paths with righty in order
(14:10):
to exchange cash for pass. OK, yes, sure, I get that.
And the first day of June, 1st weekday of June I only had a May
pass and did not go on the app and pay for parking that day.
And when I came out, there's no ticket on my car.
(14:31):
Oh God, so you decided to chanceit again?
And the next day, totally clear.And the next day, wow, totally
clear. And then I don't think I'm going
to pay for parking anymore, guys.
Because you don't think they're checking it.
I thought you were going to say you got a ticket and now you're
really stuck for money. That's my backup plan.
(14:51):
Is that? Yeah.
Look, I had the May pass, but I come here later and you're
already gone. So I was planning to look.
Here's the money for the whole month I'm paid up.
Let's tear up this ticket. Sure.
Well did the did the guys give the tickets?
Like would righty give the tickets?
I don't know. I haven't seen one yet.
Ticket from the OK. And I've heard whispers of some
(15:13):
of the other some of the other part time staff that have long
since given up pain for parking.They don't pay.
They don't pay. No.
And no one checks. Apparently.
Now you're giving away everyone's secrets.
I shouldn't have been so specific about what lot this was
in the first place. No, no, don't listen to any back
(15:34):
episodes. No, is this don't connect any
dots don't connect. Any dots?
No. Is this a wow?
Private lot. It's owned by some corporation.
Like Righty doesn't own this thing, so I'm not taking money
out of his pocket. He's private, right?
He's an employee of whatever corporation.
Sure. OK.
Who? Cares about corporations.
(15:57):
Well, that's the. Thing it's not I mean.
If you get a parking. I'm a corporation.
If you get a parking ticket on aon a city street, I I think you
have to pay that. Well, that's the Commissioners,
that's the City of London. But if?
You get a ticket. In a.
(16:18):
Private lot in a private lot andthey say you owe us money.
No, I don't. No.
Is that true? Sue me.
I mean, they could take you to sue.
Me over $7.00 Yeah sure right they could but they probably a
hassle for them. Just let me park there and it'll
be hassle free. I did years ago get a parking
(16:40):
ticket at Western University andI had friends at the time, this
was almost 20 years ago, who worked in the parking office
there. And she said, yeah, don't bother
paying it. It's 20 bucks.
They're not going to go. They're not going to go to
collections for that. It would cost them more than
that to to go to collections. At Dalhousie University, or if
(17:01):
you're not getting a ticket, we used to park at the the Dalplex,
the pool building for Harley swimming in Halifax.
And the whole lot was like, Oh yeah, scan the code or use the
machine or whatever. Like we checked the lot, you
know, it's a paid lot. It's a university lot.
The very first night everyone's like, Oh no, you don't have to
pay. And we didn't for two years.
(17:26):
No one ever gonna take it for any reason.
It just park. So they're only getting money
from newcomers like you who don't know.
Yeah. Idiots.
Parking is such a scam. I think parking for parking is
such a scam. That's like one thing if you're
going. To town, London.
I know they always say why don'tpeople come down more?
(17:48):
There is not enough free parking.
Like I'm going to go somewhere that's free.
Well, and I don't want to have to pay, you know.
My lot that turns out to be freeso far.
Yeah, but not everybody knows that, so I wouldn't know that.
And like of all things, and I. Actually don't remember where it
is, even though you've already so I don't know.
Because I feel parking is that one thing that if you can get
(18:11):
away with. Yeah.
Not paying for it even though you're supposed to?
Yeah, there's no shame. It's such a racket, charging
people for parking. It's an open space.
I'm putting my car in it. Yeah, and I'm not paying you
hundreds of dollars a year to doit.
But if you own a parking lot, it's so lucrative.
Like I bet you make money hand over fist with you owning your
(18:33):
own parking lot. I bet.
Yeah, because. This is a complete racket.
It is. I think so too, yeah.
Anything you should get. Away with not paying for
parking, Take it and don't feel bad like another.
Man, yes. Any thoughts, Dave?
No, I agree basically. I Nobody likes paying for
(18:53):
parking. Nobody wants to do that.
You're right. If you don't have, if you're
not, if you can get away with not, then you're right.
People are going to do it. OK.
Glad we all agree. I'll keep you updated.
(19:15):
This is due to underwhelming demand.
The podcast with Dave, Rachel and Foreman that knows Father's
Day is the one day of the year, especially if you're a dad of
girls, Foreman and you know. Jeremy.
Jeremy. Yeah, this isn't a problem for
you right now, but wait for a couple of years anyway.
(19:36):
Father's Day is the one day of the year where you don't send
Dad out to the store for tampons.
OK, that's. Don't ask him that day any other
day, fine. Well, it's not fine.
Well, but you know you'll do it.I'll do it Father's Day, don't
ask me. In an emergency situation, yes,
(19:58):
but that emergency ain't happening on Father's Day.
Don't. Let it happen on Father's Day.
You kind of know these things, right?
Right. Don't let it.
Out. You could drive them there and
then wait in the car if you needed.
Well, I'd I'd like not to do that either, no.
Ask Mom is what you're saying? That's right.
I think that's. Fair.
All right, all right, time for headlines.
(20:22):
I know people send them to you. So people send them to us for
you. Yes, Right.
So. It's well, Foreman sends me
headlines all the time. Yes, he started sending me fun
facts like how you finally started helping me out.
Thank you. I love it when somebody does my
work for me. So thank you, Foreman.
Now, Rachel. Happy fucking Father's Day.
Yeah, Happy Father's Day. I'll do it all for you.
(20:45):
Yeah, I'm not paying to park. Yeah, how about your day to
Rachel? Happy Father's Day to Dave.
That's right. All right.
Because these headlines, some ofthem, many of them were from
Foreman. Foreman has a thing for Guelph.
So we have a. What's the issue with Guelph?
I don't know. We have a couple of things going
(21:06):
on in Guelph. We'll call it what's going on in
Guelph? Headlines.
There's always something up going on.
Guelph. Yes, like Guelph Thief.
Thanks staff, as he walks out ofstore with nearly $900 worth of
stolen booze headlines. We thanked them and.
That's a lot. To carry us.
(21:28):
Her to term a brazen robbery? That's brazen.
That's brazen. That's a brazen.
Yeah, that's wow. Have a great day everyone.
Thanks guys. I just hit the mic.
Thanks guys. Here's another Guelph man
accused of trying to urinate on strangers arrested for 1/3 time.
EW Gross. Gross.
(21:51):
That's an actual headline. Is he being arrested for the
same thing? Probably.
Would it gross like? Just going around peeing on
strangers. Yeah, stop letting him back out.
This is a local headline, sort of.
Thank you. Foreman boat named Saint Clair
Whores already funny, See, it's already WHOR.
(22:19):
Oh, oh, oh, OK. Boat named Saint Clair Whores
owned by local strippers. OK.
Causes a stir on guess where Lake Saint Clair.
Sure. Yeah, real headline.
It was just a stir, nothing morethan a stir.
Sure. Just a stir.
Yeah, So I mean minor. Sure.
I. Mean it is printed on the back
(22:40):
of the boat though. Wow, OK.
My boat register your boat name.I thought maybe the boat was
like hors or something, like just funny.
It's they're usually party, but not that one.
Yeah, yeah. OK, no to Kentucky.
Kentucky kid accidentally ordered 70,000 Dum Dums on
(23:01):
Amazon. What are Dum Dums?
The candy. Suckers.
Oh suckers 30. Cases of them arrived at their
door. My God.
Headlines Wow, don't let your kid on your phone.
No bear found sitting on stove inside Kentucky home after
(23:21):
crashing through ceiling. What?
That's an actual headline. Crashed through the ceiling and.
Sat on the stove. And landed on the.
Just where it landed, I guess. Wow.
The beginning of a fairy tale. That's right, this feels just
right. And thank you to Debbie Gandon
(23:42):
for this one. See.
Oh yes, doing my work for me. KFC releases chicken flavored
toothpaste. Real headlines.
Gross. No.
Who wants that? That is that for real.
I don't know why anyone wants toothpaste of any other flavor
other than mint. It's the universal flavor of
clean. Yes, yes, yeah.
(24:04):
Like even lemon is like the universal scent of clean.
But I don't want lemon toothpaste.
No. Well, lemon would be better than
chicken. Lemon would be better than
chicken right fried. Chicken.
My kids hate mint toothpaste because they think it's spicy.
I see. My gosh, here we go.
Mom attacks principal and Superintendent after being
(24:26):
called to school to discuss daughters fighting.
Oh. Well, it all makes sense,
doesn't it? Headlines.
What is this saying? Something something doesn't an
apple doesn't. Far, far from the tree.
There you go. And you try and steal it.
I'll fight you. Yeah.
Kind of thing. Sure.
Yeah. Scientists blast human cells
(24:48):
with 5G and nothing happens. What surprise.
That's an actual headline. Yes, but the people who think 5G
effects things don't believe in science, so that doesn't matter.
Just it's about Joe Biden study,right?
It's all new, right? Flying Burrito results in
(25:11):
alleged car ramming. Real headlines.
That that headline took me a minute to piece together.
Applying burrito results in alleged car ram.
Yeah, I feel like. Someone threw a burrito.
Where did the tomato? Come from and where did it go?
Exactly. Delicious, but it sure is
filling. So many out the.
Car window. It's a good done with it.
(25:31):
It's a good headline because it there's a lot going on.
Yes, in like 7 words. Yes, a lot there.
Those are the best kind, yeah. Teenage monkeys are kidnapping
baby monkeys from other monkeys for fun.
Headlines. What little shits.
They're hilarious. Where are their parents?
No, come on, no come on Man, 24,poses as teenager and attends
(26:00):
Ohio High School for over a year.
That's an actual headline. I am so baffled at those
stories. It's always somebody who's 20 or
30 something and like, how did no one notice?
If you're a baby faced 24 year old, you could pass for an 18
year old, you know? Yes you could.
Like you could also be a beard like that 20. 4 year old and and
(26:22):
make. It and look for it look like a
30 year old. Well, he could.
But but then you're not if you're in high school.
And so then they wouldn't question it.
You're right. All right, all right.
I cried for three days. Now it's your turn.
Woman in China sends 1000kg of onions to cheating ex's home.
That's actually brilliant. I like that.
(26:44):
Real headlines. 1000 kilograms. Is insane that's.
Yeah, it's your turn now. Get.
Back at it, I don't know. That would have been very
expensive. Yeah, it's like you.
Know she used his money. Oh well, she could have.
Could have a new category. Thank you Foreman.
Fart headlines. Here we go.
(27:05):
Were you waiting for this? Oh my God, fart.
Headlines. I don't even remember what ones
I've sent you, so we've got. To find a fart sound foreman
God. Yep.
OK, fart headlines Woman says her ex gave her a seven-year
sinus infection by farting in her face.
Oh my God, seven-year infection headlines.
(27:26):
That seems. Like one time he did it and then
she had. Nothing.
Yeah, that seems that's potent. That's.
Yeah, good luck for that. Yeah, popular Toronto Park has
been venting flammable fart gas for a century.
How the park outside? That's an actual headline.
(27:47):
How does that? What do you mean?
I don't get it. It's just we need to look at a
flammable fart. Gas I I think I did if I recall
correctly. I looked at I had to know and I
think it's used to be a dump. There you go.
Oh, I see. So, but OK, yeah.
Just put a park on top, it's fine.
Sure. Yeah, really.
You know those random oddly placed giant vents you see all
(28:09):
over town coming out of the ground?
Oh. Guess why?
There. You go fart gas.
Flammable. Fart gas.
Flammable fart gas is funny. It's just fantastic.
Yeah, fart Fart puts the ass in assault in Pennsylvania.
(28:33):
Real headlines. That's pretty good.
That's well. Written.
I like that. And then there's Wow.
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, that is well written.
Fart puts the ass in assault. Man and then there's these.
Thank you Foreman. Study finds Uranus change
(28:53):
structure and brighten significantly.
Headlines. Uranus change structure and
brighten. Significantly, no.
Thank God. No.
Not. Not only.
God Foreman. Uranus Uranus is full of
surprises after 20 years of observation.
(29:17):
That's an actual headline. Yeah, of course it is.
Yeah, Foreman, those dying, dying for that.
Those don't ever. They're not that funny.
They never they never get. Prizes, yeah.
That funny those? Are always funny.
That's right. Now you need to be always.
(29:38):
Funny. Those are always funny.
That was so not that funny, but he's killing it.
There it is. It's funny, the Uranus is full
of surprises after 20 years, so my.
Face hurts. That's pretty funny.
OK. That's a good headline.
(30:00):
All right, off to. My cheeks hurt.
That's. Bad.
Oh yeah. Which one?
They brightened significant. Yeah, how's that?
They have brightened. My God.
OK. OK, here we go.
We're we're going to Florida. Let's get to Florida.
We have to be in Florida. All right.
(30:20):
Florida Florida Man is 2025's first Yellowstone bison Goring
victim. Oh.
Real headlines. That seems appropriate, though
too soon it seems about right. Well, I mean, it's going to be.
Someone from Florida? Yeah, that's what I think
(30:42):
Florida went all the way. Up to Yellowstone.
Sure, Florida woman got arrestedfor shoving nachos down her
wife's pants. What headlines improving?
Even Florida has its limits, youknow.
Hurry is really is full of surprises.
Well, that's true. Now, that's very true.
She. Didn't like it?
(31:03):
Florida area. Charged her wife.
Florida veterinarian mitigates Peacock problem with
vasectomies. That's an actual headline.
What a job. Well, that really could apply to
Peacocks, or men actually. Eliminates the men problem.
Well, it just prevents them frompeacocking around.
(31:26):
Calm down over there, right? Well, there you go.
Fine. Thank you.
Calm down over there. Wow.
Right, thanks. If there was another woman here,
she'd agree with me. What peacocking I'm?
Stuck with you guys. All right, all right.
Florida woman arrested after allegedly turning Neighborhood
(31:47):
Watch into neighborhood smacked out.
Wow, like WWE? Real headlines.
That's just funny. That's just funny.
Neighborhood watching neighborhoods back out.
Come on, don't. Get her in trouble for that.
She's the only Karen that was upset about something and, you
(32:08):
know, yeah. That's that is Florida.
Absolutely. Neighborhood.
Ever. Yeah, that's right.
Florida man drug dealer kidnaps rival and tortures him.
Hot sauce. Oh, like makes him eat it
headlines. I'd imagine that.
(32:29):
Is that torture? I don't know.
Guess it is. Depending on.
Depending on if you like it or not, it'd be torture For me.
I have a baby mouth. A baby mouth, I see.
OK. I see.
Florida woman postal delivery worker arrested on DUI charge
(32:53):
after drinking vodka at house party while on delivery route.
I mean, you can't do that. That's an actual headline.
You can't. Not even in Florida.
They let you get away with a lotin Florida, but the crazy ones
they catch. What's her delivery vehicle
there? An alligator.
(33:14):
No, I didn't say anything. Nothing could get between hangry
Florida Man and late night Del Taco.
I mean, I don't know. Same.
Real headlines I don't. Know I don't know what happened,
but it's a headline so there yougo.
Florida Man breaks into his ex girlfriend's home through a
doggie door. Ex finds him in her bed and his
(33:38):
struggle ensues leading to Florida Man leaving the house
through the doggie door again. Again, good, he should headlines
don't break into someone's houseand go in their bed.
You're. Probably not by choice on the
way out. No.
I wouldn't think. Get back through there.
Was that the Smackdown neighborhood?
You are a dog. Could be you are a dog.
(34:01):
Yeah, Barefoot Florida man wrestles giant alligator on Hwy.
median Yeah. That's an actual headline.
Barefoot, any wrestling? Well, that's that's the ultimate
Florida. That's on the Florida side.
Welcome to Florida. It's that guy.
Yeah. And yeah, that would be great
that it. Should be someone would be there
someone barefoot wrestling a Gator you know, on crystal meth
(34:25):
or drunk. Yep, half naked at least.
Fully naked, sure. Bonus points, you know.
Bonus points. Yeah, these barefoot.
Just barefoot. Yeah, that we're wrestling a
giant Gator. Yeah.
And doing it in the middle of a median Hwy.
Median drunk, pantsless. My that's I mean, I should be
(34:46):
so. We know where this is going.
No, wait. Drunk pantsless Florida Man said
he wasn't a drunk pantsless Florida Man.
He was Charles Dickens. What?
Real headlines. Wow, yeah.
There you go. What a life, all right one.
More Florida Man befriends someone at the bar and buys him
(35:07):
a beer. He's arrested later that night
after firing his gun at the new friend for refusing to reimburse
him the $5 for the beer. What?
Real headlines. This is why Americans shouldn't
have guns. They just shouldn't.
They would argue This is why they should.
They know. For.
This exact reason. Yeah, I know.
(35:30):
Want my beer? I know.
(35:55):
This is due to underwhelming demand.
The podcast We are Dave, Rachel and Foreman.
Shout out to Sparkle Princess Parties for sponsoring this fine
podcast. That's right, if you know
someone, or you yourself or a rich uncle of yours wants to
throw money at us, all you have to do is go to our website
(36:16):
whichisunderwhelming.ca and justclick on.
How do I sponsor the podcast? That's right, we have a
sponsorship page there or you can e-mail us Dave
rachelforeman@gmail.com on our website.
You could also buy us a coffee. Maybe you don't want to sponsor,
maybe you want to buy us a coffee for 5 bucks because that
helps us too. Someone, they, some people don't
(36:37):
give names so it just says someone bought 5 coffees and
they say I've listened and I nowwatch your podcast since the
beginning. Makes me look forward to Tuesday
mornings. Keep up the great work.
Thank you so much. That's nice.
Thank you for buying us some coffees.
And before we get into some of your messages, because that is
the highlight of our week. Yes.
(36:58):
A couple shout outs from being at the Ontario Artistic Swimming
Championships. OK.
Oh yeah, because I was doing a little bit of a announcing there
all. Right, that's your volunteer
job. Yes, and you're at the Aquatic
Center. Right, Canada Games Aquatic
Center. I also ran into a celebrity who
happens to be a father. Another celebrity, a father of
(37:19):
an athlete on one of the other teams from the Toronto area.
Would you like to take a few guesses at who the celebrity
might be? What?
Celebrity did Foreman run into? I don't know who's got kids at
your age? He's a dad.
He's a dad like Jerry D or something like that comedian.
No, but keep going down a similar path I would say.
(37:41):
Oh, Russell Peters is he? Does he have kids?
No. Why don't you ask me the
questions and then I might review.
Is he a? Media person.
He is a media person. Is he a comedian?
He hosts comedians on a weekly basis nationally.
Hosts. And he's Canadian.
(38:02):
On the radio. On the radio.
Nationally on the radio hosting comedians.
Oh, Paul. What's his face?
The country guy. Not musicians, comedians,
comedians. They try and the whole show is
in theaters that travels the country so they have a live
audience. I haven't got a.
(38:23):
Clue. I have no idea.
Yeah, I don't have a clue but. Am I going to know this person?
But I'm intrigued. I don't even know if you might
Dave might have heard of him or the show.
I feel like this show, this person will be known by a decent
core group of people in a lot ofplaces.
Right, I probably. Wouldn't know him to look at him
(38:44):
because I had to go up and take a picture, but we're showing it
now. Oh no, I don't know who that is.
In its 20th season, Steve Patterson, host of The Debaters.
Oh wow. The debaters.
OK, I've heard of that show. Yeah.
On. CBC Wow.
Yeah. His daughter was competing
(39:04):
against mine. Hello Canada, and welcome back
to the Winnipeg Comedy Festival.Yes, which takes place each year
in Winnipeg. It's the second most anticipated
celebration in the city, right behind Caesar Week where over 30
(39:27):
bars compete to be named in the bar.
Top Hall of Fame judges sit in aspecial roped off area of the
restaurant, which I guess is called the Cesarean section.
Oh. Interesting.
I'm that's great, Foreman. I have to say, look.
At you with all your celeb. Friends never heard of him.
He does not look familiar to me.I've heard of the show but I
(39:50):
haven't watched it, sorry. Good for you.
Yeah, it's a fun little show. I think it's even available as a
podcast, too. It's a good little show.
We have a few more messages. Stacy bought us 5 coffees.
And she says thank you, Stacey. She says happy birthday, Rachel
and Foreman. So thank you very much.
I got an e-mail from Pamela who says I was talking to a few
(40:12):
weeks ago about how I embarrassed Julia at the bus
stop. Hi, Rachel.
I love your family stories. I just listened to your podcast
about how you embarrassed Julia.My mom and dad used to drive me
to Medway every day. I went to Medway, which was
great. They had to go.
You didn't have to take the bus.You were like the one percenter
that didn't have to take the bus.
Lucky you. They had to go by the door on
(40:34):
the way to work, so it worked out perfect.
My dad used to yell don't look, Ethel just as I was about to go
into Medway's front doors. That phrase tells you how long
ago this was. I don't know.
I don't know what that means. I don't.
Know that song, I think. Don't look, Ethel.
I think. Anyway, I think that
embarrassing your child is one of your duties as a mom.
I agree. I try my best to embarrass my
(40:57):
girls as well. Right in the middle of groups of
friends is the best time. Keep it up, Rachel.
Love listening to the old group again from Pamela.
Thank you very much. Pamela.
Thank you. We have another message on
Facebook or Instagram. Instagram from Aaron.
Yes. Because you had your garage
sale, which we assume went well,and you got rid of all your
stuff. Not all of it, but again,
(41:19):
everybody wants everything for dirt cheap.
So it but we would sell it. We're like fine, $2.00 here.
Like if I'm selling something for $2.00, I might as well just
give it to you for free, right? Like really.
Anyway, whatever, yeah. Well, Aaron said he got a $1400
propane fire table for 200 bucksfrom a garage sale.
(41:39):
Everything works, he said. Everything works.
A few scratches, but that's it. Well, a lot of people don't want
to pay $200, even if it if it's worth a lot more.
Still seems quite pricey for a garage.
They'll be like, I'll give you 50.
Yeah, I got 20 bucks, so yeah. 20 bucks for that $1400 fire
table. Exactly.
That's probably. Brand new.
Aaron does say, also Rachel, I went to a La Quinta Inn in
(42:04):
Indianapolis. OK.
It had white duvets and white bed sheets, but the lobby
smelled like bleach, blood stains in a few rooms, a broken
water line in the main ground hallway, and a lady of the night
who was very angry leaving the hotel when we were going to our
room. OK, I probably wouldn't stay at
(42:29):
a La Quinta, but. Just because it has the white
duvet? OK, I guess I need to up my
standards even more than maybe alittle.
Yeah. Maybe a little.
And we have a voice note, right?From.
Nova School. Shop Nova School Shop.
Just finished listening to the last episode.
The only thing I could say rightnow is if you guys start making
(42:50):
T-shirts you need to have one that says you know what, fuck
you, I like puzzles. Too bad.
Fuck off. You may have to put some of that
on the back of the shirt and some on the front.
I'm not sure but that. That was perfect.
Did I say that? Sure, sounds like you.
Yeah, it does sort of sound likeyou.
(43:14):
Who's going to buy our merch? Well, there's one person that
would buy it or sell it to us. I don't know what you mean.
Yeah. Thank you, Scotty.
I was part of a special task force of very young looking cops
who infiltrated high schools. How do you do, fellow kids?
(43:37):
What? You're just like, you know what?
Fuck you. I like puzzles.
Too bad. Fuck off.
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The Burden
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.