Dying Kindness

Dying Kindness

We are all going to die. And someone will have to handle what we leave behind. Odds are good that person will be someone who loved us, someone who will be grieving. Let’s not make it harder for them than it has to be. Let’s make some key decisions now in order to be kinder to those we’ll leave behind. What kind of decisions? Welcome to Dying Kindness, the podcast for people who are going to die someday. Host Cianna Stewart is learning about death and dying, and sharing information and tips along the way. Episodes include practical information, philosophical musings, interviews, and a dose of morbid humor. Because we’re all going die someday and we should learn how to talk about it.

Episodes

May 23, 2022 14 min

A funeral can get expensive. In this episode, I break down the elements of a traditional burial funeral in the United Stages, and the median costs.

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After a lifetime of independence, it can be tough to age or get ill and start to need help. So many of us fear becoming a burden so we resist asking for help. But at what point will our independence become a problem? What's the difference between asking for help and being a burden?

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April 5, 2022 32 min

A discussion of the kinds of things that you could (and should) include in your living will, including examples that Cianna wrote into her own. 

Topics: Living Will, Advance Directive

 

Mentioned:

DyingKindness.com

NOLO Press

Book: The Art of Dying Well

Book: A Beginner’s Guide to the End

Dying Kindness Bookshop 

The Death Deck

The Conversation Project

Estate lawyer: Kathleen Hunt

Book: Death Poems

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Living Will. DNR. Advance Directive. POLST. 

You know these forms are important. But are they the same? Do you need all of them? What are they for? And when would you need them?

 

Forms are location specific. Do an online search for "[where you live] and [name of form]" or ask your lawyer to get the right version for you.

 

Recap of summary: 

  • Everyone over the age of 18 should specify their wishes and designate a health car...
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    Selecting the right Health Care Agent is a critical factor in ensuring that we get the kind of care we want when we're critically injured or nearing the end of our lives. Your agent will be responsible for implementing your Advance Healthcare Directive, and (even more) for understanding why you made the decisions you made so they can respond to unanticipated situations. How do you choose the right person? What, exactly, would y...

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    Thinking about dying has me thinking about aging. And as I took my aging body on a hike, I decided maybe it's time to get used to using hiking poles—and this had me thinking about what we can do now so that we can keep what we love doing for longer.

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    February 15, 2022 15 min

    Do you want to be buried near your parents? Want your children to scatter your ashes at your favorite beach? Would your family visit your memorial tree in a forest?

    What kinds of things do you need to take into consideration when you're choosing your final resting place?

     

    Bonus in this episode: An interview with Mike Szymanski, creator of the #DoxieTombstone in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

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    February 1, 2022 19 min

    Burial or Cremation? That question is important, yes, and it's not the only thing that needs to be decided about what will happen with your body after you die. This episode covers some of the practical decisions that need to be made regarding final disposition.

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    January 18, 2022 39 min

    Sure, it's important to talk about death and what we want. But how do you even begin this conversation? What if you're ready to talk but someone else is resistant? And what do we even need to talk about?

    In this episode I interview Kate deBartolo from The Conversation Project, and Lisa Pahl and Lori LoCicero from The Death Deck. They share tools and personal stories that can help you get the conversation started, regardles...

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    January 4, 2022 13 min

    Just what kinds of things would be useful to the people we'll leave behind when we die? What decisions need to be made? What goes into a "Death Binder"?

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    December 23, 2021 37 min

    Presenting three books with good lessons learned from the dying on how to live (and die) well:

  • The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - Bronnie Ware
  • The Four Things That Matter Most - Ira Byock
  • When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi
  • Related links:

     

    Bronnie Ware’s blog post that started it all:

    https://bronnieware.com/blog/regrets-of-the-dying/

     

    Link to Ira Byock's book page:

    https://irabyock.org/books/the-four-things-that-m...

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    December 7, 2021 45 min

    Karen Reppen describes herself as being once "the most death phobic person on the planet." Now she's on the board of the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) and an advocate for death education. In this interview, she shares what she learned on her journey to overcome her fear of death, what an end-of-life doula does, and thoughts on NEDA's role in the death positivity movement.

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    November 23, 2021 13 min

    Logistics are not the only things that complicate death. The holidays can be an emotional time. Here are five ways to help take care of the emotional side of the impact your death will have on those you love.

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    November 9, 2021 22 min

    We often refer to the idea of a "good death" without really digging in to what that means for us. But being clear about it is critical when it comes to completing an Advance Care Directive.

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    October 27, 2021 15 min

    Samhain. Halloween. All Saints Day. All Souls Day. Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead).

     

    All of these holidays are about the connection between the living and the dead. And they all present the dead in different ways. Taking a look at these differences can be a fun way to think about where we get our concepts about death and how our loved ones might relate to us after we die.

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    October 12, 2021 41 min

    Have questions about estate planning? Listen in on my first conversation with an estate lawyer, Kathleen Hunt. I ask basic questions and learn so much!

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    September 14, 2021 23 min

    What can be done with cremated remains? So many things!

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    September 7, 2021 34 min

    "Hospice is not giving up." Retired hospice nurse Edwina Moldover clears up misconceptions about hospice and says that the biggest mistake we make is not accessing hospice earlier.

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    August 19, 2021 15 min

    When we die, we'll leave behind a lot of physical stuff. How should we think about the value of that stuff? And how can we make it easier for our loved ones to distribute it after we're gone?

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    July 15, 2021 14 min

    What can a Will convey - and when is it not enough?

    Discussed in this episode:

  • Wills
  • Estate Planning with a lawyer
  • Time and costs of Probate Court
  • Thresholds for automatic Probate
  • Beneficiary Designations
  • Interview w/ Miguel Torres, MilesTorresLaw.com

    Poem: New Orleans Limbo by Andrei Codrescu

    from Death Poems, ed. Russ Kick

     

     

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