The Safe House Framework with Valli Jones

Full Show Notes available at dyscastia.com   In this episode, I talk with Valli Jones, a clinical psychologist from Queensland, about what it means to create a safe learning environment for students who live with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning difficulties. We focus on the idea that students learn best when they feel safe — not just physically safe, but emotionally and psychologically safe too. Valli Jones

Valli Jones is a clinical psychologist and an autistic woman. She brings together professional expertise and lived experience to support families, educators, and health professionals in creating safe, respectful environments for neurodivergent children and young people.

She is the creator of the Safe House Framework — a model that blends years of clinical practice, formal training, and personal insight into what it really means to feel safe. Her work focuses on helping adults understand behaviour through a neurodiversity-affirming lens and on building strong, collaborative support systems around each child.

At the heart of her work is a simple goal: to help create a world where all children know what it feels like to be understood.

Show notes

Valli walks us through a model she developed for supporting neurodivergent students called the Safe House Framework, which is designed to support everyone around a child — parents, teachers, tutors, psychologists, speech pathologists, OTs to collaborate more effectively. The framework is built around the idea of a house, with each part of the house representing a part of what students need to feel safe and understood.

We also talk about what behaviour really means, what might be happening when a student shuts down or refuses to comply, and how important it is that we shift the way we think about neurodivergence in schools. This is especially relevant for teachers and tutors working with students who might seem ‘difficult’ or ‘defiant’ but are really just overwhelmed.

What is the Safe House Framework?

The Safe House Framework is a way of thinking about support for neurodivergent students that focuses on psychological safety and respect for difference, rather than control or behaviour management.

Each part of the house is a metaphor:

• Foundations – The mindset of the adults involved. This means starting from a neurodiversity-affirming perspective: recognising that differences are natural, not signs of something broken that needs fixing.
• Floor Plan – The specific profile of a student: their strengths, their needs, and the kinds of support that will help. This includes things like sensory processing, communication differences, and interests.
• Windows – How we view behaviour. Instead of assuming students are being naughty or defiant, we try to see behaviour as communication. Often, it tells us a student is overwhelmed, anxious, or just not coping.
• Walls – The people involved: parents, teachers, allied health professionals, tutors — anyone who supports the student. The more these people can share information and work together, the stronger the support.
• Door – The connection we build with the student. Relationships based on trust and understanding are at the core of psychological safety.
• Roof – The systems that protect students: legislation, policies, and broader supports.
• Landscape – The broader context: the school community, cultural attitudes toward difference, and the general level of understanding.

The framework is available to download for free at embracingneurodiversity.co.

What behaviour might be telling us

One of the most important parts of the conversation was around how to understand behaviour. When students act out, shut down, avoid tasks, or insist on controlling things, it’s often not a matter of defiance or laziness. It’s a nervous system response.

Valli describes five common stress responses:

1. Fight – A student lashes out, argues, or becomes aggressive.
2. Flight – A student leaves the room or tries to escape a situation.
3. Freeze – A student goes still, zones out, or appears to stop functioning.
4. Fawn – A student over-complies, masks distress, or tries to please everyone, but is exhausted or anxious underneath.
5. Flop – A student shuts down completely, maybe lying on a desk or becoming non-verbal.

All of these are signs that the student may not feel safe in that moment, whether because of sensory overload, anxiety, fear of failure, or feeling misunderstood. Many of these behaviours get misinterpreted, especially in