October 2, 2025 • 32 mins
Fall shows up like a guest who brings both flowers and a suitcase of trouble, and we spend this episode unpacking the contradictions. On one hand, there’s the slow-fire beauty of leaves, warm days paired with crisp nights, and that comforting hush when the air thins out. On the other hand, we feel the quiet grief of summer ending, the looming dread of snow or its slushy cousins, and the way the calendar tips us toward holidays, expectations, and endless errands. Join as we dive into the dysfunction of Fall.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
DJ NICK (00:07):
Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies Podcast.
We may not have seen it all,but we've seen enough.
And now, here are your hosts,Chrissy and Carrie.
Kerry (00:20):
Hello, junkies.
Kerry.
Chrisy (00:22):
And I'm Chrisy.
Kerry (00:24):
Welcome to fall.
Welcome to fall, Autumn.
Chrisy (00:27):
Oh my gosh.
Everybody was waiting for thissince July.
Kerry (00:32):
I know, not me, but you know.
Chrisy (00:34):
Not really me either.
It puts me through all kinds ofstress.
Kerry (00:37):
Actually, I was I was driving in today and I was
starting to see how the fallleaves are changing and the
colors.
And I will say, I do like fallfor a lot of those aspects.
I just mourn in fall because Iknow my warm summer months are
over and that wicked S thing iscoming.
Snow.
Snow.
Chrisy (00:58):
If you're lucky.
Kerry (01:00):
Oh.
Chrisy (01:00):
But if you're not, you're just gonna end up with
sleet, the other S words.
And slush.
The other S word.
Just lousy, unfortunateweather.
And a pretty snowfall.
I'm I'm all for.
Once we can get through, Iwould like to have a fall,
though.
Kerry (01:15):
Yeah.
I do, I do enjoy the fall.
I enjoy the warm day, coolnights, you know, but oh yeah.
Chrisy (01:23):
I don't like the Indian summer thing.
Kerry (01:26):
You can't say that.
That's not allowed to be saidno more.
Oh.
That's not politically correct.
Oh crap.
Chrisy (01:34):
I didn't get that memo.
When did that happen?
Oh, because I watch really oldshows and they still say that
word.
They said it.
I think it was was it the nameof an episode of Mad Men?
It was the name of a name of amovie, too.
DJ NICK (01:53):
From the early 90s.
Chrisy (01:54):
Yes.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah.
I don't know what am I supposedto call it?
Kerry (02:02):
That's what I was just thinking.
What do we call it?
The um the April Fool's Day ofsummers.
I don't know.
Chrisy (02:10):
It's it's fall, but it's not acting like fall.
Yeah.
It's uh fall in disguise.
It's fall in the sky.
I could go down some reallybad.
I'm not gonna say anything.
It's a summer encore.
Kerry (02:21):
That's what we're gonna call it.
We're gonna call it summerencore.
DJ NICK (02:24):
When did they really did they say you're not allowed
to say that?
I don't think that it's thatnon-PC.
Kerry (02:29):
I think it's still I thought it had to do with the
whole, you know, how peoplewould say don't be a blank
giver.
DJ NICK (02:35):
Yeah.
Kerry (02:36):
You know?
And I think that was re Ithought it was referring to
fault.
Okay, DJ Nick, Google this.
DJ NICK (02:41):
So I think in in general, I don't know that it's
as taboo as like like saying,you know, other things.
Oh, don't say it.
Oh my god, please actually isrooted in this is it was a time
when Native American tribeswould use the time to gather
their winter stores, you know,so they would you know when it
was because of w in a little bitwarmer weather was their time
to gather stuff to get ready forthe winter.
(03:01):
So I don't know that it's soit's not referencing other
things.
Yeah.
Whether it's a baseball team orwe can say Native American
summer?
Kerry (03:12):
I I think that would be more politically correct.
Chrisy (03:15):
No, I Can I just say that maybe who's judging all of
this?
DJ NICK (03:19):
I don't know.
I mean it's and that might bemore insulting.
I'm actually not findinganything where it says it's
that's a taboo.
Kerry (03:26):
Okay.
I thought it was referencingthat other thing about don't be
a Native American giver, youknow.
I thought that referenced that.
So that's always been negative,even before I know, but for
some reason, because I was underthe impression it had to do
with that thing with fall,because it was like, oh, we had
fall, and then it went back, itwas taken back, you know, and so
that's why I thought yeah, butI I'm apparently I could be
(03:48):
wrong.
Chrisy (03:49):
I thought it had something to do with harvest and
uh the gathering.
Kerry (03:53):
I was overthinking it.
DJ NICK (03:54):
Yeah, so I don't think there's anything.
There's nothing in hereindicating okay.
Kerry (04:00):
So Chrissy, you're okay.
So you can say it.
Jesus.
Well, that was three minutes ofcraziness.
Yeah.
DJ NICK (04:08):
A lot of pressure, huh?
Chrisy (04:09):
I was really shuffling to try and save myself here.
Oh my god.
I thought I was gonna be socanceled, and I don't know what.
Kerry (04:18):
Okay.
So I have to bring this upbecause we've been kind of
talking about all morning, butthis is the one thing I also
don't like about the fall,especially whenever you start
getting into fall.
It's the fall creepy crud, thegerms, the illnesses, the
sicknesses.
So I'm sitting here in thestudio with coffee one and
sniffly two.
Chrisy (04:38):
Oh, that's wrong.
I did not ask to get anything,and I am through uh most of it.
Uh it's just the leftoverbecause I incessantly blow my
nose.
I know, but you're sitting herewhere where okay, paper towel.
This is a paper towel.
If you don't blow my nose onthat, look at you.
(04:59):
You're worried about gettingshirts.
What if I did blow my nose onthat you can't?
Because I've been watching you.
Kerry (05:03):
Oh, just of it, not this part here.
But it's clean.
Okay, but Chrissy, you don'tuse a paper towel to wipe your
nose.
It's like sandpaper.
You would rather just run down.
Well, no, but go get go get itcleenex.
Chrisy (05:17):
Go get toilet paper is the same.
I get I walk around with a rollof toilet paper.
I would rather see you do thatthan with a paper towel.
This I I don't know why Ibrought this here.
I don't know.
Kerry (05:28):
But I but this is the time of year.
All the kids go back to schooland it just is this petri dish
of all of a sudden everyone'sgetting sick because of those
germy little and then they ugh.
Well, it's it just is what itis.
I mean, you know, you couldhave to deal with it, I guess.
(05:50):
But yeah, there's there's onepart of the early fall that I
just I'm like, oh god, herecomes the creepy crud.
Chrisy (05:56):
Well, yeah, but yeah.
It's but am I creepy?
I guess I'm a creepy crud.
I'm just like the kids.
Kerry (06:04):
Creepy as in creepy as in well, I get it.
Chrisy (06:13):
Yes, when school starts, although school's been in for a
while now.
I know, but they've beenincubating it.
Yeah.
And then the weather, change,yes, then warm days and cold
nights.
I know those are lovely, but Ithink that helps sort of oh it
breeds stuff.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's gotta be cold all thetime.
Kerry (06:32):
Well, I try to keep the hot all the time.
Chrisy (06:35):
Well, I don't know.
We're I'm of the age.
I don't know how you feel, butI know the age that I'm
experiencing I don't want to behot ever.
I want to be freezing cold.
Because unfortunately, I can'tcontrol the heat that I
sometimes feel.
Kerry (06:48):
Admit.
Well, I've been in uh what isthat?
Not menopause, like wheneverbecause I have my ovaries taken
out, it's a false it's not afalse menopause, what is it?
Medical menopause, somethingthere doesn't need for it.
So I've been experiencing thatfor 20 years.
So that's old school.
Chrisy (07:04):
Yeah.
So I never wanted to be.
I would rather be cold and haveto try and cover up with a
sweatshirt or a blanket thanhave to try and figure out how
to cool down and jump in coldwater, I guess, or something.
Kerry (07:19):
Yeah, I do like a good snuggle under a blanket, but in
general, I don't like to becold.
I just don't want to be cold.
I'm okay with it.
So what's going on with yourtake on fall?
Chrisy (07:30):
Fall is what do we got to look forward to?
Kerry (07:34):
What's dysfunctional about fall?
Chrisy (07:36):
Oh, what's dysfunctional about fall?
Well, all those crazy videospeople have been making since
July to get you ready for fall.
That's dysfunction.
It gives me anxiety.
And when did a pool noodlebecome the answer to everything?
What do you mean?
These videos, they take thesepool noodles and they show you
how to do these crafts.
A pool noodle can be used as aa decorative piece over your
(08:00):
archway.
You get the tension rod, youget a pool noodle, you cut the
pool noodle down so it can likehook onto your tension rod, and
then you buy a bunch ofartificial fall flowers and
little cadoodles and stuff likethat.
Uh, and you just stab the hellout of the pool noodle in a
(08:21):
ritualistic fashion that createsa decorative piece for
yourself.
And then people come over andthey go, Is that a pool noodle
or is that a decoration?
And you're like, hey, hey,don't say nothing about my pool
noodle.
I don't see a pool noodle, doyou?
(08:42):
You know, and then you buythese fluorescent pool noodles.
Yeah.
That's just a lot of pressureto have to cover up.
I mean, if they're gonna haveyou use pool noodles for
everything, uh-huh, they shouldat least come out with colors
that coordinate with what you'redecorating.
Oh, so we need fall-coloredpool noodles.
Yes, I said it here first.
Okay, and I have nottrademarking this.
Kerry (09:01):
Yes.
So this is going up with ourKaren on the roof and uh what
was it?
Chrissy Go.
Chrisy (09:10):
Chrissy Go.
Um, so why are we not havingpool noodles in muted, uh like a
burgundy or a burnt orange ormaybe black or red and green for
Christmas?
Yes, the people got likefluorescent green and pink pool
noodles that they're stabbingfall colors into.
They make centerpieces withthese things and the zip ties.
(09:33):
Oh, yeah.
Zip ties and pool noodles arethe answer to everything.
And duct tape?
No, I haven't seen anybody doanything with duct ties.
Oh, duct tape out, it's zipties and pool noodles then.
Zip ties and pool noodles, andthen just a bunch of artificial
flowers and picks.
We used to call them picks.
Picks?
The like little pumpkins orthings you would put in a
wreath, like if you were makinga uh a holiday wreath.
(09:53):
Some thinking like hair picks,like you know, like oh yeah, no,
no, no, yeah.
I'm using an old term.
My sister, who was in thefloral design and all that,
that's what we would call them.
Picks, oh okay, which you woulduse to decorate things with.
So yeah, I get a lot of anxietywatching all these videos and
the other thing is is I get alot of anxiety about my coffee.
(10:15):
Oh, yeah.
Because talk about coffee.
I love coffee, as every well,most people do.
My husband does not, he won'tdrink coffee, he doesn't like
the taste of it or whatever.
He likes the way it smells, itreminds him, but he does not
enjoy the the taste of it.
Kerry (10:34):
Yeah, Jim uh farm boy Jim is a black coffee person.
He'll drink hardcore series.
Chrisy (10:40):
Oh, yeah.
Kerry (10:41):
But I do love the smell of the coffee in the house.
My coffee has to be foo-foo.
Chrisy (10:46):
Me, me too.
Absolutely.
But these people making theirown creamer.
And so then I think geez, theythey point out to you how
horrible these creamers are thatyou buy.
Oh, yeah.
With all these things.
Now I do buy the one creamer,not a sponsor, Chibani, uh-huh,
which is generally basicingredients.
Yes.
But then I feel bad even aboutthat, and I'm like, oh, so I'm
supposed to buy the sweet andcondensed milk and the half and
(11:08):
half and get a mason jar andshake the hell out of it.
And now I got creamer for likea week in my fridge.
Okay.
And I'm like, okay.
And then I forget I bought it,and it's behind in the back of
the fridge.
And I'm like, what the hell isthat?
What's that kernel in the backof the fridge?
Who made this?
Who is the idiot who put thisin my fridge?
Kerry (11:27):
Speaking of the peachy dishes.
Chrisy (11:29):
Yeah.
There's a science experiment.
And then they make this wherethey take the raw pumpkin.
Oh, yeah.
And you have to have your oneyear.
This was last year.
You did it?
They cause such a panic in meabout the pumpkin pie spice.
You're not gonna be able to getit.
Everybody's putting pumpkin piespice in everything.
Your foods, your everything.
They're sprinkling it on thepool noodles, probably.
(11:51):
It's everywhere.
I went and I I couldn't find itat stores.
I was like panicking.
I didn't even want it.
But I just was looking for itand I felt like I had to have
it.
I finally went to one of thestores and they had it.
I bought like three things ofthis.
Of pumpkin spice.
Yeah.
I don't need pumpkin spice everagain for like years to come.
So now I try to switch overbecause the inner told me I'm
(12:14):
horrible with this.
And I try not to be swayed, butI was suede.
So now instead of this plaincinnamon that I was sprinkling
in my coffee, now I'm sprinklingpumpkin pie spice.
Kerry (12:25):
So a lot of you know, there was a small time frame I
did like the pumpkin pie spice,but no, I I'm not a fan.
No.
Now I love like so right now,Starbucks can not a sponsor, but
I do love my Starbucks.
I love their pumpkin muffinthat they have right now, but
I've no on the pumpkin spicelatte.
Chrisy (12:44):
Yeah, no, I I don't know what to do.
I'm at a bad place.
And then I need I need one ofthose little hand things that
stirs stuff.
Oh, the whiskey thing, yeah.
Yeah, but yeah, I don't I havea coffee maker that came with
like sort of an attachment onthe side, yeah, which I love and
it will froth my milk milk andstuff.
(13:04):
But then I thought I need toinvest in a good espresso
machine.
Oh yes, got one.
They're expens you have one?
Kerry (13:11):
Yeah.
Well, and it's not a reallysuper good one, but it's enough
of one.
But my problem is, see, I'm awhite chocolate mocha person,
and I yet to find a whitechocolate mocha that tastes like
Starbucks.
So I've purchased everydifferent type of white
chocolate mocha syrup.
Then there's the uh, let's see,there's um there's the creamer,
(13:32):
there's like syrup, there'sthere's another name for it
that's it's like a thicker one,and nothing tastes the same.
So I'll make it at home, likeon Saturday, when I want a
couple cups of it, you know, todrink and stuff.
But gosh, nothing beats thatStarbucks, though.
Yeah, it's so good.
Chrisy (13:48):
It's really hard.
You know, you start out with asimple espresso machine.
Like, you know what?
I just want I want my coffee tobe strong.
Yeah.
Because I was going to uhcaribou, not a sponsor.
Yeah, and eight shots ofespresso.
It had a ton of espresso, and Iget the uh it was uh oat, what
was it?
A caramel oat milk espressoshaker.
Okay.
Loved it and still love it.
(14:09):
Yeah.
And I'm like, geez, I justreally need to have this at
home.
And I would try to make mycoffee really strong.
Yeah, couldn't duplicate it.
Yeah.
I'm like, that's it.
I have to have an espressomachine.
This is the answer to that.
So then you start shopping forthem, which I'm making myself
crazy because you start out withthe ones that are affordable.
Right.
And you're like, okay, it'sjust gonna make this beautiful
little espresso, and then I'mgonna have to do everything.
But then you start looking, andthen they have these machines,
(14:29):
they do everything for you.
All you do is push a button.
Yes.
And it's like, I want this, Iwant a latte, I want that, I
want that.
Well, I'm like, I want that.
I don't want to sit, I need me,I'm busy.
I ain't got time to sit hereand mix drinks.
So then I start looking atthat.
These machines are likethousand dollars.
They're a thousand dollarsplus.
And then I'm like, well, I'mjust gonna treat myself.
Right.
(14:49):
Of course.
I've been punished enough in mylife, I deserve this.
And then, you know, I'm like,okay, I've learned as I've aged
to maybe put myself off a littlebit and think it through, which
I know nobody out there isbuying this, but it's true.
And I generally put myself offlong enough where I lose
(15:10):
interest for a little while.
But then it comes back.
Oh, yeah.
It's back and forth of me.
Exactly.
Right now I don't have anespresso machine, just to let
everybody know.
Kerry (15:17):
I'm not committed to this as of yet.
The fall season is early.
Right, right, right, right.
Well, the the little machine Ihave is perfect because it it
will make one or two cups, youknow, and it has the espresso.
It makes, you know, the theespresso goes through, but then
it has the milk frother.
And since mostly I like acappuccino or a latte, so I I
(15:38):
need that a lot of milk to besteamed, it works perfect.
But I just haven't found thesweetener that gives it the
flavor that I exactly like.
I'm close.
I mean, it's close, but it'sjust not quite.
I bought the Starbucks coffeebeans, you know.
I've done that, you know, I'musing the soy milk because I,
you know, would prefer soy milk,but it's just that white
(15:59):
chocolate flavoring.
I just, and I've even gone inthere and begged them.
I'm like, can you just sell methe syrup?
And they're like, no, we can'tdo that.
Chrisy (16:06):
Well, do they do they sell something they say is
because I know they sell thecoffee.
Right.
And they do have like the otherStarbucks brand stuff in the
stores, but not this syrup.
Kerry (16:16):
Not I have yet to find where they're yeah.
And even my sister-in-law, whenshe was uh in town a few weeks
ago, like she was trying to helpme crack the code, and we
thought we figured it out bygetting this one.
Like I said, I don't I can'tthink of the name of what it's
called, but we even tried thatand in hmm, I got an idea.
Chrisy (16:33):
What?
We should get a part-time jobsomewhere just for like a couple
days, go undercover, see whatthe hell this stuff is.
Kerry (16:40):
I know.
Or or smuggle a few out.
Chrisy (16:43):
No, I was like, anything don't belong to me.
No, but I want to see what thehell's going on because I do
wonder that because I'm like,man, I really would love to make
this at home.
Yes.
And I really need to know whatyou know.
And I'm thinking, I come hereand I buy from you all the time.
I know.
Kerry (16:59):
Can I just come in and watch you make my dream?
I mean, I watch them make itand I watch them do the squirts
of the stuff, and I'm like, Ithat's that's the one ingredient
I need.
Chrisy (17:07):
Oh, so anyways, though.
What wouldn't we get so crazywith this?
You know, you said that youhave the frother.
Yeah.
Long time ago, I worked for adepartment store.
Uh-huh.
Uh, probably almost 30 years,well, probably is 30 years ago.
And I was the bridal manager,which meant I registered brides
for their stuff.
A bunch of spoiled, rottenbridezillas who would send
(17:31):
sometimes just register for onewashcloth, one towel, and one
hand towel.
And I'd be like, I think you'regonna need more than this.
Can we talk here?
I are you just registering foryou?
What about your spouse?
Or what's going on?
They would register for bizarrestuff, but I I got for free, it
was a crups.
Oh, yeah.
(17:51):
This was 30 years ago.
Yeah.
Espresso kind of machine.
Yeah.
And I remember reading theinstructions and I was so
excited to get this, and itscared me because it said it was
under pressure.
Yes.
And there was a chancesomething could explode.
And I gave it away.
I was like, I don't want toexplode.
I got so scared.
Oh, Chrissy.
The bad part about this is theway I could get free stuff was I
(18:13):
had to register the brides forso many.
Right.
And then I got something forfree.
Speaker 03 (18:18):
Oh.
Chrisy (18:19):
And you would take the first tag.
I don't care about the thirdstatute of limitations right
now.
And they're just gonna flip andreturn this stuff anyhow.
A bunch of rotten people.
Nobody even read do theyregister?
I guess they do register, butit's a totally different animal.
And nobody's registering forfine china and crystal anymore.
That was still a thing.
Yeah.
And uh I would be like, youknow, do you want to register?
(18:40):
This is important.
You need to have this Waterfordstem set.
Because that was another thingI wanted.
So you were upselling.
I wasn't selling anything.
I would make them get it onthere.
I wanted them to get it on theregister.
I understand that, but you wereup registering.
Yes.
And and sometimes I could Icould persuade them to put it on
there.
Yeah.
(19:00):
And other times they gave me anattitude and be like, I just
don't need that.
It's impractical.
I'm thinking, the marriage isimpractical.
What are you talking about?
You're about to venture intoridiculous.
I could tell you two ain'tgonna make it.
I mean, get the stuff and thenreturn it and have some money
when you guys are trying tofigure out what the hell to do
(19:21):
with each other.
So I would stick it on theirregistry without them knowing.
Oh, Chrissy.
What?
So what?
They didn't have to tell themthey're so busy doing all this
other crap.
They didn't even notice.
And then you get them couple oflittle snobby bitches come back
and you're like, I didn't wantthis.
This is on my registry.
I need you to take it off rightnow.
(19:41):
And I'd be like, oh, fine.
I already got credit for it,honey.
Kerry (19:46):
Bye-bye.
Oh, Chrissy.
How old were you when that was?
Were you 20?
Chrisy (19:51):
I'm in my 20s.
I was married.
Kerry (19:53):
I was married already.
Chrisy (19:56):
You need I needed stuff in my house.
What the hell, man?
Oh, that's great.
Take control of your registry,people.
There's nobody walking aroundwith that gun anymore
registering people.
Oh, the gun.
Because I that was like a bigdeal before.
Before you'd go in the storeand they'd have the little
(20:18):
scanner.
Yeah.
Beep, beep, yeah.
And you know, and then theystarted letting these people
walk around with the gunthemselves.
I mean, that was a that was aticking, it was time for that to
run out.
Yeah.
So I'm sorry, I didn't mean tosegue into bridal registry.
How we went from fall duringthe room.
Kerry (20:34):
We were talking about espresso espresso.
Chrisy (20:38):
We probably should have made Lucy's Rage on Bridal
Registry.
Me and my job, I got a wholeslew.
I had many jobs.
So that was one of them.
So let's go back.
So yes, I do play around theidea of getting an espresso
machine.
Yeah.
Kudos to you.
You have one.
(20:58):
Yeah.
Obviously working for you.
Kerry (21:00):
Farmboy Jim got it for me as a present.
So he was he I'm okay.
It was a gift for me, but trustme, it was totally probably
self-s self-serving because heprobably has a he doesn't like
how much I go to Starbucks.
Chrisy (21:14):
So he's like, oh, you can see this machine, it can do
that for you.
I know.
Kerry (21:19):
And then he'll be like, you don't ever use it.
I'm like, well, I do use it,but it's also one of those
things like it takes time, youknow, you got to get the milk
in, you know.
So to me, that's using it athome is like that's a Saturday
morning thing when I can enjoymy morning and relax and enjoy
making my coffee.
On a regular Monday throughFriday, when I get up at six and
(21:39):
I gotta be out the door byseven, take care of three dogs:
a bird, a cat, a horse, a cow,myself, and everything else.
Yeah, Starbucks.
I get it.
Chrisy (21:52):
I get it.
Okay.
Anyway, so I get it very much.
Yeah, stay away from the videoswith the pool noodles and the
zip ties.
Um fascinating to watch, andand just in general, people are
doing really great things, andit's it's really great to see
that creativity.
Kerry (22:06):
And I I do I love it when I see somebody's house
tastefully decorated in falldecor.
Now, note I said fall decor.
I'm not talking Halloween.
Chrisy (22:17):
I'm talking mean a Halloween hater.
Kerry (22:22):
I love the like I said, I do love fall.
I do love the atmosphere offall, I love the look of the
colors and the you know, all ofthat.
So to see that when you go upto somebody's house and they
have the really nice little falldisplay and they got, you know,
the like it, I I I appreciateit.
I love it.
At this point in my life, Idon't do that.
Maybe the next stage of my lifeI will have time to do that.
(22:46):
But so I love that kind ofstuff.
But uh Halloween, nah, that'sgonna be another episode.
Yeah, well, you can.
Chrisy (22:52):
We can talk about the Dollar General fines.
Oh gosh, because that's a wholevideo series.
I'm not gonna talk about now.
But then crappy plasticpumpkins, again, like the poo
noodles, overused, and gives mea flipping problem because I
feel like I need to run and gograb 20 pumpkins.
Plastic pumpkins.
(23:13):
That's because your daddecorated with plastic
McDonald's pumpkins.
My man would have never donewhat they're doing now.
I mean, stabbing it andsticking a light bulb in it is
one thing.
But these people are likepainting them and the little
twinkle lights and another,another show, another show.
Another show, another show.
Kerry (23:32):
So, what else we got for fall?
So, what about these fallfestivals?
Do you guys go to any kind offall festivals or falls?
Chrisy (23:39):
Like an Oktoberfest thing?
Kerry (23:41):
No, like for instance, like a lot of times this time of
year you'll have like differentcommunities will have craft
shows and it'll be like fallcrafts and you know, or just
different vendors, and thenthey've got the hot apple cider,
the you know, it's just falltheme.
Like, for instance, this oneplace that's near us, White
House Fruit Farms.
Yeah.
Not a sponsor.
(24:01):
They have this big fall weekendthing, and so it's all about
the apple cider and the donutsand pumpkins, pumpkins, and you
know, it's just something to doon the weekend to go walking
through the field and pick apumpkin and it sounds wonderful.
Chrisy (24:16):
And I do remember when I lived in that area that that
was a big deal.
Yeah.
For me, that requires beingaround an awful lot of people.
Kerry (24:24):
There you go, sister.
Amen.
And I would love to go, but Iwant only see, like, I don't
want to be so close where I'mbumping shoulders with people.
I don't, you know, like I andyeah.
Limit it to like 30 people.
Jeez, that's a lot.
Chrisy (24:39):
I know.
You know, I kind of always wantto go to the code.
Kerry (24:42):
Normally there's like 200 people.
Well, yeah, it's horrible.
Well, so 30 is better.
Chrisy (24:47):
Okay.
So I my think process here isreally bad because I would like
to go to something, uh, which anor a company has like totally
worked so hard to promote, put alot of money investing in this
to have a lot of people come inand enjoy it and buy things and
just really be wonderful.
And my whole thing is such adowner.
I basically am in my own way,but not like right firsthand.
(25:11):
I'm kind of hoping you fail.
I want to be the only personthat shows up because I don't
want to be around anybody.
So I'm thinking, wouldn't it begreat if just like everybody
forgot it was this weekend?
Kerry (25:22):
Or pray for bad weather.
Let it freaking rain.
And now see, now Jim and I dothis a lot.
We when we go to the zoo a lotand we're always like, let it be
bad weather.
I don't care.
I'll we I'll go to the zoo inbad weather because that means
there'll be less people thereand I won't have to deal with
them.
I don't care if I have anumbrella and I'm walking in the
rain, but it just means lesspeople.
Chrisy (25:43):
Well, if it's warm enough, I suppose that probably
would be fun.
Kerry (25:46):
I will say that is speaking of uh zoos, the the one
Halloween type thing I do liketo go to is when they have the
boo in the zoo, you know, andthey do decorate the zoo and
they have all the fall Halloweenthings or whatever, and it's
it's kind of like a prelude tothe Christmas lights at the zoo.
Right.
That is one Halloween themedthing I can get into.
Chrisy (26:08):
See, I would be freaked out with the Halloween one
because what if they'redecorating and I mistake a real
animal for decoration?
And now I am the feast of uhSimba.
Because I was like, look atthis lifelike decoration, it's
(26:33):
terrifying.
And Simba had gotten out of thecage.
Well, that's the other thing.
I'm always worried about you gointo a zoo, and it's just you
see these again with the videos,so-so got loose, somebody let
so-and-so out of the cage, andwhoopsie.
Kerry (26:48):
We were there once when the moose got out of the zoo,
and uh, so we were like put inlockdown because the moose got
out.
Chrisy (26:56):
So did you see it running by and chasing it?
Kerry (27:00):
No, the funny thing is we had just walked past the moose
exhibit and we didn't see it, sowe just kept walking.
Well, then next thing we know,it's we didn't see it because it
got out and it was loose.
I think it was like we maybe wedid see it, but it was kind of
in the trees, so it wasn't likefeeling like we were threatened.
But yeah, we were all put inlockdown.
They they put us like theymoved everybody to this one
(27:22):
section where they were able toshut a gate, and so we were like
locked in this one area of thezoo.
What was funny, it was theAfrican area.
So, like I if you know, now wewent from a well, relatively
safe.
I mean, it was a moose, itcould still hurt you, but but
then they locked us in the lionarea where safer lion.
Chrisy (27:43):
Well, that says a lot about a moose.
Kerry (27:45):
So they they got the moose.
It was like a nine-month-oldmoose that was actually an
orphan rescue.
Chrisy (27:50):
So they got somebody orphaned a moose.
Well, is that a common thingwith the mm mm moose?
Kerry (27:58):
I don't know how to say that.
Um I don't remember the wholestory, but I the moose came from
somewhere like Montana orwhatever, and it the mother had
gotten killed.
Speaker 03 (28:07):
Oh no.
Kerry (28:07):
And so this was the orphan baby, and so the zoo took
it, and and that's how they gotthis, you know, baby.
So, but it was like nine monthsold or something like that, and
so it was still learning likeits boundaries and exhibits and
whatever, it got out.
But they within 30 minutes, itwas safely back in its habitat.
Chrisy (28:25):
We were exciting 30 minutes.
Kerry (28:28):
It was so now every time we go to the zoo and we walk by
the moose, we're like, hey,remember last time we were here
and the moose got loose?
Chrisy (28:34):
See, now you like completely gave me another level
of anxiety.
Not that I go to the zoo a lot,but now she's never going to
the zoo.
Well, here's the deal with allthings.
Just to give you the backgroundon my thinking, I'm gonna go to
the zoo.
And generally, when we didn'tsee the animal where it was
supposed to be, yeah, I was justlike, oh, it must be inside
somewhere because it's cold orit just doesn't want to look at
us right now.
(28:54):
Or but now every time if I goback to the zoo, I'm gonna
think, Where is this tiger?
Where is it out?
Why isn't it here?
I need to know proof that thisisn't wandering around.
I'm gonna always think that ifI don't see it, it's out
somewhere.
Kerry (29:11):
Now that's dysfunction.
Chrisy (29:12):
There we go.
Kerry (29:14):
Because I'm always gonna think of a way if I'm gonna die
today.
Oh my god.
Again, we digress.
How we went from the fall toanimals loose at the zoo.
It's insane.
I think we had too much coffeethis morning.
Our brains are jumping around.
Probably.
Chrisy (29:30):
Absolutely.
Kerry (29:32):
Well, I hope everybody is enjoying their fall weather.
Um and your coffee.
And your coffee, whether it'spumpkin spice or white chocolate
milk or plain black coffee withtwo ice cubes like Farm Boy
Gym.
Right.
But we have to say we've gotsome exciting things happen this
fall in October.
Absolutely.
So even though we may not liketo be around people too much, we
will love to be at the UnitedWay of Wayne and Holmes County
(29:58):
in Worcester, Ohio.
For their 5K fun run thatthey're having on October 25th
from 9 to 11 in historicdowntown Worcester.
This is the uh Heart and Ghoul5K.
Chrissy and I will be there.
We still have to figure out ourcostumes.
We have ideas.
We have ideas, we do, but weare gonna be there.
(30:18):
I'm probably gonna run in therace.
Chrissy's gonna cheer me onfrom the sidelines.
But this month for JunkiesCare, we are supporting the
United Way of Wayne and HolmesCounty.
Um, so that is our Junkies Careinitiative this month.
So we do hope that you're ableto come out and see us and maybe
participate.
One of the things they talkabout there is after the race,
(30:39):
there's an after party, and it'sgoing to be at a restaurant
called Muddies.
So if you run in the race, youget a free beer or coffee.
So you know, bring your pumpkinspice uh flavoring and you can
add it to your coffee there thatday.
Chrisy (30:53):
Very good, yes.
Kerry (30:54):
Or maybe they have pumpkin beer too.
Oh, they do.
Oh, they make they do makepumpkin flavored beer.
Oh ginger beer, I could do, butnot pumpkin beer.
But, anyways, so that is ourdysfunction junkies care for
this month.
But you can check out all thethings about us on our website,
which is dysfunctionjunkiespodcast.com.
(31:16):
We also now have a blog.
So Carrie's blog released thismonth and actually last a couple
weeks ago in September.
I talk about uh just anythingand everything.
And Chrissy's getting hersgoing too.
So make sure you check out ourwebsite to read our blogs about
other random thoughts that wehave.
Chrisy (31:33):
Yeah, mine's gonna be everywhere.
Kerry (31:36):
Mine is called The Elephant Speaks.
Chrissy's still kind of workingon hers, although we have some
good ideas what we think it'sgonna be.
But uh, so but yeah, you cancheck us out there, check us out
what we're what we're talkingabout, our show ideas, episodes,
everything you need to knowabout us is on there.
So check that out.
Chrisy (31:51):
Yes.
Kerry (31:52):
Alrighty, everyone.
Have a great fall, and uh we'lltalk to you later.
Bye bye.
Bye.
Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies Podcast.
We may not have seen it all,but we've seen enough.
And now, here are your hosts,Chrissy and Carrie.
Kerry (00:20):
Hello, junkies.
Kerry.
Chrisy (00:22):
And I'm Chrisy.
Kerry (00:24):
Welcome to fall.
Welcome to fall, Autumn.
Chrisy (00:27):
Oh my gosh.
Everybody was waiting for thissince July.
Kerry (00:32):
I know, not me, but you know.
Chrisy (00:34):
Not really me either.
It puts me through all kinds ofstress.
Kerry (00:37):
Actually, I was I was driving in today and I was
starting to see how the fallleaves are changing and the
colors.
And I will say, I do like fallfor a lot of those aspects.
I just mourn in fall because Iknow my warm summer months are
over and that wicked S thing iscoming.
Snow.
Snow.
Chrisy (00:58):
If you're lucky.
Kerry (01:00):
Oh.
Chrisy (01:00):
But if you're not, you're just gonna end up with
sleet, the other S words.
And slush.
The other S word.
Just lousy, unfortunateweather.
And a pretty snowfall.
I'm I'm all for.
Once we can get through, Iwould like to have a fall,
though.
Kerry (01:15):
Yeah.
I do, I do enjoy the fall.
I enjoy the warm day, coolnights, you know, but oh yeah.
Chrisy (01:23):
I don't like the Indian summer thing.
Kerry (01:26):
You can't say that.
That's not allowed to be saidno more.
Oh.
That's not politically correct.
Oh crap.
Chrisy (01:34):
I didn't get that memo.
When did that happen?
Oh, because I watch really oldshows and they still say that
word.
They said it.
I think it was was it the nameof an episode of Mad Men?
It was the name of a name of amovie, too.
DJ NICK (01:53):
From the early 90s.
Chrisy (01:54):
Yes.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah.
I don't know what am I supposedto call it?
Kerry (02:02):
That's what I was just thinking.
What do we call it?
The um the April Fool's Day ofsummers.
I don't know.
Chrisy (02:10):
It's it's fall, but it's not acting like fall.
Yeah.
It's uh fall in disguise.
It's fall in the sky.
I could go down some reallybad.
I'm not gonna say anything.
It's a summer encore.
Kerry (02:21):
That's what we're gonna call it.
We're gonna call it summerencore.
DJ NICK (02:24):
When did they really did they say you're not allowed
to say that?
I don't think that it's thatnon-PC.
Kerry (02:29):
I think it's still I thought it had to do with the
whole, you know, how peoplewould say don't be a blank
giver.
DJ NICK (02:35):
Yeah.
Kerry (02:36):
You know?
And I think that was re Ithought it was referring to
fault.
Okay, DJ Nick, Google this.
DJ NICK (02:41):
So I think in in general, I don't know that it's
as taboo as like like saying,you know, other things.
Oh, don't say it.
Oh my god, please actually isrooted in this is it was a time
when Native American tribeswould use the time to gather
their winter stores, you know,so they would you know when it
was because of w in a little bitwarmer weather was their time
to gather stuff to get ready forthe winter.
(03:01):
So I don't know that it's soit's not referencing other
things.
Yeah.
Whether it's a baseball team orwe can say Native American
summer?
Kerry (03:12):
I I think that would be more politically correct.
Chrisy (03:15):
No, I Can I just say that maybe who's judging all of
this?
DJ NICK (03:19):
I don't know.
I mean it's and that might bemore insulting.
I'm actually not findinganything where it says it's
that's a taboo.
Kerry (03:26):
Okay.
I thought it was referencingthat other thing about don't be
a Native American giver, youknow.
I thought that referenced that.
So that's always been negative,even before I know, but for
some reason, because I was underthe impression it had to do
with that thing with fall,because it was like, oh, we had
fall, and then it went back, itwas taken back, you know, and so
that's why I thought yeah, butI I'm apparently I could be
(03:48):
wrong.
Chrisy (03:49):
I thought it had something to do with harvest and
uh the gathering.
Kerry (03:53):
I was overthinking it.
DJ NICK (03:54):
Yeah, so I don't think there's anything.
There's nothing in hereindicating okay.
Kerry (04:00):
So Chrissy, you're okay.
So you can say it.
Jesus.
Well, that was three minutes ofcraziness.
Yeah.
DJ NICK (04:08):
A lot of pressure, huh?
Chrisy (04:09):
I was really shuffling to try and save myself here.
Oh my god.
I thought I was gonna be socanceled, and I don't know what.
Kerry (04:18):
Okay.
So I have to bring this upbecause we've been kind of
talking about all morning, butthis is the one thing I also
don't like about the fall,especially whenever you start
getting into fall.
It's the fall creepy crud, thegerms, the illnesses, the
sicknesses.
So I'm sitting here in thestudio with coffee one and
sniffly two.
Chrisy (04:38):
Oh, that's wrong.
I did not ask to get anything,and I am through uh most of it.
Uh it's just the leftoverbecause I incessantly blow my
nose.
I know, but you're sitting herewhere where okay, paper towel.
This is a paper towel.
If you don't blow my nose onthat, look at you.
(04:59):
You're worried about gettingshirts.
What if I did blow my nose onthat you can't?
Because I've been watching you.
Kerry (05:03):
Oh, just of it, not this part here.
But it's clean.
Okay, but Chrissy, you don'tuse a paper towel to wipe your
nose.
It's like sandpaper.
You would rather just run down.
Well, no, but go get go get itcleenex.
Chrisy (05:17):
Go get toilet paper is the same.
I get I walk around with a rollof toilet paper.
I would rather see you do thatthan with a paper towel.
This I I don't know why Ibrought this here.
I don't know.
Kerry (05:28):
But I but this is the time of year.
All the kids go back to schooland it just is this petri dish
of all of a sudden everyone'sgetting sick because of those
germy little and then they ugh.
Well, it's it just is what itis.
I mean, you know, you couldhave to deal with it, I guess.
(05:50):
But yeah, there's there's onepart of the early fall that I
just I'm like, oh god, herecomes the creepy crud.
Chrisy (05:56):
Well, yeah, but yeah.
It's but am I creepy?
I guess I'm a creepy crud.
I'm just like the kids.
Kerry (06:04):
Creepy as in creepy as in well, I get it.
Chrisy (06:13):
Yes, when school starts, although school's been in for a
while now.
I know, but they've beenincubating it.
Yeah.
And then the weather, change,yes, then warm days and cold
nights.
I know those are lovely, but Ithink that helps sort of oh it
breeds stuff.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's gotta be cold all thetime.
Kerry (06:32):
Well, I try to keep the hot all the time.
Chrisy (06:35):
Well, I don't know.
We're I'm of the age.
I don't know how you feel, butI know the age that I'm
experiencing I don't want to behot ever.
I want to be freezing cold.
Because unfortunately, I can'tcontrol the heat that I
sometimes feel.
Kerry (06:48):
Admit.
Well, I've been in uh what isthat?
Not menopause, like wheneverbecause I have my ovaries taken
out, it's a false it's not afalse menopause, what is it?
Medical menopause, somethingthere doesn't need for it.
So I've been experiencing thatfor 20 years.
So that's old school.
Chrisy (07:04):
Yeah.
So I never wanted to be.
I would rather be cold and haveto try and cover up with a
sweatshirt or a blanket thanhave to try and figure out how
to cool down and jump in coldwater, I guess, or something.
Kerry (07:19):
Yeah, I do like a good snuggle under a blanket, but in
general, I don't like to becold.
I just don't want to be cold.
I'm okay with it.
So what's going on with yourtake on fall?
Chrisy (07:30):
Fall is what do we got to look forward to?
Kerry (07:34):
What's dysfunctional about fall?
Chrisy (07:36):
Oh, what's dysfunctional about fall?
Well, all those crazy videospeople have been making since
July to get you ready for fall.
That's dysfunction.
It gives me anxiety.
And when did a pool noodlebecome the answer to everything?
What do you mean?
These videos, they take thesepool noodles and they show you
how to do these crafts.
A pool noodle can be used as aa decorative piece over your
(08:00):
archway.
You get the tension rod, youget a pool noodle, you cut the
pool noodle down so it can likehook onto your tension rod, and
then you buy a bunch ofartificial fall flowers and
little cadoodles and stuff likethat.
Uh, and you just stab the hellout of the pool noodle in a
(08:21):
ritualistic fashion that createsa decorative piece for
yourself.
And then people come over andthey go, Is that a pool noodle
or is that a decoration?
And you're like, hey, hey,don't say nothing about my pool
noodle.
I don't see a pool noodle, doyou?
(08:42):
You know, and then you buythese fluorescent pool noodles.
Yeah.
That's just a lot of pressureto have to cover up.
I mean, if they're gonna haveyou use pool noodles for
everything, uh-huh, they shouldat least come out with colors
that coordinate with what you'redecorating.
Oh, so we need fall-coloredpool noodles.
Yes, I said it here first.
Okay, and I have nottrademarking this.
Kerry (09:01):
Yes.
So this is going up with ourKaren on the roof and uh what
was it?
Chrissy Go.
Chrisy (09:10):
Chrissy Go.
Um, so why are we not havingpool noodles in muted, uh like a
burgundy or a burnt orange ormaybe black or red and green for
Christmas?
Yes, the people got likefluorescent green and pink pool
noodles that they're stabbingfall colors into.
They make centerpieces withthese things and the zip ties.
(09:33):
Oh, yeah.
Zip ties and pool noodles arethe answer to everything.
And duct tape?
No, I haven't seen anybody doanything with duct ties.
Oh, duct tape out, it's zipties and pool noodles then.
Zip ties and pool noodles, andthen just a bunch of artificial
flowers and picks.
We used to call them picks.
Picks?
The like little pumpkins orthings you would put in a
wreath, like if you were makinga uh a holiday wreath.
(09:53):
Some thinking like hair picks,like you know, like oh yeah, no,
no, no, yeah.
I'm using an old term.
My sister, who was in thefloral design and all that,
that's what we would call them.
Picks, oh okay, which you woulduse to decorate things with.
So yeah, I get a lot of anxietywatching all these videos and
the other thing is is I get alot of anxiety about my coffee.
(10:15):
Oh, yeah.
Because talk about coffee.
I love coffee, as every well,most people do.
My husband does not, he won'tdrink coffee, he doesn't like
the taste of it or whatever.
He likes the way it smells, itreminds him, but he does not
enjoy the the taste of it.
Kerry (10:34):
Yeah, Jim uh farm boy Jim is a black coffee person.
He'll drink hardcore series.
Chrisy (10:40):
Oh, yeah.
Kerry (10:41):
But I do love the smell of the coffee in the house.
My coffee has to be foo-foo.
Chrisy (10:46):
Me, me too.
Absolutely.
But these people making theirown creamer.
And so then I think geez, theythey point out to you how
horrible these creamers are thatyou buy.
Oh, yeah.
With all these things.
Now I do buy the one creamer,not a sponsor, Chibani, uh-huh,
which is generally basicingredients.
Yes.
But then I feel bad even aboutthat, and I'm like, oh, so I'm
supposed to buy the sweet andcondensed milk and the half and
(11:08):
half and get a mason jar andshake the hell out of it.
And now I got creamer for likea week in my fridge.
Okay.
And I'm like, okay.
And then I forget I bought it,and it's behind in the back of
the fridge.
And I'm like, what the hell isthat?
What's that kernel in the backof the fridge?
Who made this?
Who is the idiot who put thisin my fridge?
Kerry (11:27):
Speaking of the peachy dishes.
Chrisy (11:29):
Yeah.
There's a science experiment.
And then they make this wherethey take the raw pumpkin.
Oh, yeah.
And you have to have your oneyear.
This was last year.
You did it?
They cause such a panic in meabout the pumpkin pie spice.
You're not gonna be able to getit.
Everybody's putting pumpkin piespice in everything.
Your foods, your everything.
They're sprinkling it on thepool noodles, probably.
(11:51):
It's everywhere.
I went and I I couldn't find itat stores.
I was like panicking.
I didn't even want it.
But I just was looking for itand I felt like I had to have
it.
I finally went to one of thestores and they had it.
I bought like three things ofthis.
Of pumpkin spice.
Yeah.
I don't need pumpkin spice everagain for like years to come.
So now I try to switch overbecause the inner told me I'm
(12:14):
horrible with this.
And I try not to be swayed, butI was suede.
So now instead of this plaincinnamon that I was sprinkling
in my coffee, now I'm sprinklingpumpkin pie spice.
Kerry (12:25):
So a lot of you know, there was a small time frame I
did like the pumpkin pie spice,but no, I I'm not a fan.
No.
Now I love like so right now,Starbucks can not a sponsor, but
I do love my Starbucks.
I love their pumpkin muffinthat they have right now, but
I've no on the pumpkin spicelatte.
Chrisy (12:44):
Yeah, no, I I don't know what to do.
I'm at a bad place.
And then I need I need one ofthose little hand things that
stirs stuff.
Oh, the whiskey thing, yeah.
Yeah, but yeah, I don't I havea coffee maker that came with
like sort of an attachment onthe side, yeah, which I love and
it will froth my milk milk andstuff.
(13:04):
But then I thought I need toinvest in a good espresso
machine.
Oh yes, got one.
They're expens you have one?
Kerry (13:11):
Yeah.
Well, and it's not a reallysuper good one, but it's enough
of one.
But my problem is, see, I'm awhite chocolate mocha person,
and I yet to find a whitechocolate mocha that tastes like
Starbucks.
So I've purchased everydifferent type of white
chocolate mocha syrup.
Then there's the uh, let's see,there's um there's the creamer,
(13:32):
there's like syrup, there'sthere's another name for it
that's it's like a thicker one,and nothing tastes the same.
So I'll make it at home, likeon Saturday, when I want a
couple cups of it, you know, todrink and stuff.
But gosh, nothing beats thatStarbucks, though.
Yeah, it's so good.
Chrisy (13:48):
It's really hard.
You know, you start out with asimple espresso machine.
Like, you know what?
I just want I want my coffee tobe strong.
Yeah.
Because I was going to uhcaribou, not a sponsor.
Yeah, and eight shots ofespresso.
It had a ton of espresso, and Iget the uh it was uh oat, what
was it?
A caramel oat milk espressoshaker.
Okay.
Loved it and still love it.
(14:09):
Yeah.
And I'm like, geez, I justreally need to have this at
home.
And I would try to make mycoffee really strong.
Yeah, couldn't duplicate it.
Yeah.
I'm like, that's it.
I have to have an espressomachine.
This is the answer to that.
So then you start shopping forthem, which I'm making myself
crazy because you start out withthe ones that are affordable.
Right.
And you're like, okay, it'sjust gonna make this beautiful
little espresso, and then I'mgonna have to do everything.
But then you start looking, andthen they have these machines,
(14:29):
they do everything for you.
All you do is push a button.
Yes.
And it's like, I want this, Iwant a latte, I want that, I
want that.
Well, I'm like, I want that.
I don't want to sit, I need me,I'm busy.
I ain't got time to sit hereand mix drinks.
So then I start looking atthat.
These machines are likethousand dollars.
They're a thousand dollarsplus.
And then I'm like, well, I'mjust gonna treat myself.
Right.
(14:49):
Of course.
I've been punished enough in mylife, I deserve this.
And then, you know, I'm like,okay, I've learned as I've aged
to maybe put myself off a littlebit and think it through, which
I know nobody out there isbuying this, but it's true.
And I generally put myself offlong enough where I lose
(15:10):
interest for a little while.
But then it comes back.
Oh, yeah.
It's back and forth of me.
Exactly.
Right now I don't have anespresso machine, just to let
everybody know.
Kerry (15:17):
I'm not committed to this as of yet.
The fall season is early.
Right, right, right, right.
Well, the the little machine Ihave is perfect because it it
will make one or two cups, youknow, and it has the espresso.
It makes, you know, the theespresso goes through, but then
it has the milk frother.
And since mostly I like acappuccino or a latte, so I I
(15:38):
need that a lot of milk to besteamed, it works perfect.
But I just haven't found thesweetener that gives it the
flavor that I exactly like.
I'm close.
I mean, it's close, but it'sjust not quite.
I bought the Starbucks coffeebeans, you know.
I've done that, you know, I'musing the soy milk because I,
you know, would prefer soy milk,but it's just that white
(15:59):
chocolate flavoring.
I just, and I've even gone inthere and begged them.
I'm like, can you just sell methe syrup?
And they're like, no, we can'tdo that.
Chrisy (16:06):
Well, do they do they sell something they say is
because I know they sell thecoffee.
Right.
And they do have like the otherStarbucks brand stuff in the
stores, but not this syrup.
Kerry (16:16):
Not I have yet to find where they're yeah.
And even my sister-in-law, whenshe was uh in town a few weeks
ago, like she was trying to helpme crack the code, and we
thought we figured it out bygetting this one.
Like I said, I don't I can'tthink of the name of what it's
called, but we even tried thatand in hmm, I got an idea.
Chrisy (16:33):
What?
We should get a part-time jobsomewhere just for like a couple
days, go undercover, see whatthe hell this stuff is.
Kerry (16:40):
I know.
Or or smuggle a few out.
Chrisy (16:43):
No, I was like, anything don't belong to me.
No, but I want to see what thehell's going on because I do
wonder that because I'm like,man, I really would love to make
this at home.
Yes.
And I really need to know whatyou know.
And I'm thinking, I come hereand I buy from you all the time.
I know.
Kerry (16:59):
Can I just come in and watch you make my dream?
I mean, I watch them make itand I watch them do the squirts
of the stuff, and I'm like, Ithat's that's the one ingredient
I need.
Chrisy (17:07):
Oh, so anyways, though.
What wouldn't we get so crazywith this?
You know, you said that youhave the frother.
Yeah.
Long time ago, I worked for adepartment store.
Uh-huh.
Uh, probably almost 30 years,well, probably is 30 years ago.
And I was the bridal manager,which meant I registered brides
for their stuff.
A bunch of spoiled, rottenbridezillas who would send
(17:31):
sometimes just register for onewashcloth, one towel, and one
hand towel.
And I'd be like, I think you'regonna need more than this.
Can we talk here?
I are you just registering foryou?
What about your spouse?
Or what's going on?
They would register for bizarrestuff, but I I got for free, it
was a crups.
Oh, yeah.
(17:51):
This was 30 years ago.
Yeah.
Espresso kind of machine.
Yeah.
And I remember reading theinstructions and I was so
excited to get this, and itscared me because it said it was
under pressure.
Yes.
And there was a chancesomething could explode.
And I gave it away.
I was like, I don't want toexplode.
I got so scared.
Oh, Chrissy.
The bad part about this is theway I could get free stuff was I
(18:13):
had to register the brides forso many.
Right.
And then I got something forfree.
Speaker 03 (18:18):
Oh.
Chrisy (18:19):
And you would take the first tag.
I don't care about the thirdstatute of limitations right
now.
And they're just gonna flip andreturn this stuff anyhow.
A bunch of rotten people.
Nobody even read do theyregister?
I guess they do register, butit's a totally different animal.
And nobody's registering forfine china and crystal anymore.
That was still a thing.
Yeah.
And uh I would be like, youknow, do you want to register?
(18:40):
This is important.
You need to have this Waterfordstem set.
Because that was another thingI wanted.
So you were upselling.
I wasn't selling anything.
I would make them get it onthere.
I wanted them to get it on theregister.
I understand that, but you wereup registering.
Yes.
And and sometimes I could Icould persuade them to put it on
there.
Yeah.
(19:00):
And other times they gave me anattitude and be like, I just
don't need that.
It's impractical.
I'm thinking, the marriage isimpractical.
What are you talking about?
You're about to venture intoridiculous.
I could tell you two ain'tgonna make it.
I mean, get the stuff and thenreturn it and have some money
when you guys are trying tofigure out what the hell to do
(19:21):
with each other.
So I would stick it on theirregistry without them knowing.
Oh, Chrissy.
What?
So what?
They didn't have to tell themthey're so busy doing all this
other crap.
They didn't even notice.
And then you get them couple oflittle snobby bitches come back
and you're like, I didn't wantthis.
This is on my registry.
I need you to take it off rightnow.
(19:41):
And I'd be like, oh, fine.
I already got credit for it,honey.
Kerry (19:46):
Bye-bye.
Oh, Chrissy.
How old were you when that was?
Were you 20?
Chrisy (19:51):
I'm in my 20s.
I was married.
Kerry (19:53):
I was married already.
Chrisy (19:56):
You need I needed stuff in my house.
What the hell, man?
Oh, that's great.
Take control of your registry,people.
There's nobody walking aroundwith that gun anymore
registering people.
Oh, the gun.
Because I that was like a bigdeal before.
Before you'd go in the storeand they'd have the little
(20:18):
scanner.
Yeah.
Beep, beep, yeah.
And you know, and then theystarted letting these people
walk around with the gunthemselves.
I mean, that was a that was aticking, it was time for that to
run out.
Yeah.
So I'm sorry, I didn't mean tosegue into bridal registry.
How we went from fall duringthe room.
Kerry (20:34):
We were talking about espresso espresso.
Chrisy (20:38):
We probably should have made Lucy's Rage on Bridal
Registry.
Me and my job, I got a wholeslew.
I had many jobs.
So that was one of them.
So let's go back.
So yes, I do play around theidea of getting an espresso
machine.
Yeah.
Kudos to you.
You have one.
(20:58):
Yeah.
Obviously working for you.
Kerry (21:00):
Farmboy Jim got it for me as a present.
So he was he I'm okay.
It was a gift for me, but trustme, it was totally probably
self-s self-serving because heprobably has a he doesn't like
how much I go to Starbucks.
Chrisy (21:14):
So he's like, oh, you can see this machine, it can do
that for you.
I know.
Kerry (21:19):
And then he'll be like, you don't ever use it.
I'm like, well, I do use it,but it's also one of those
things like it takes time, youknow, you got to get the milk
in, you know.
So to me, that's using it athome is like that's a Saturday
morning thing when I can enjoymy morning and relax and enjoy
making my coffee.
On a regular Monday throughFriday, when I get up at six and
(21:39):
I gotta be out the door byseven, take care of three dogs:
a bird, a cat, a horse, a cow,myself, and everything else.
Yeah, Starbucks.
I get it.
Chrisy (21:52):
I get it.
Okay.
Anyway, so I get it very much.
Yeah, stay away from the videoswith the pool noodles and the
zip ties.
Um fascinating to watch, andand just in general, people are
doing really great things, andit's it's really great to see
that creativity.
Kerry (22:06):
And I I do I love it when I see somebody's house
tastefully decorated in falldecor.
Now, note I said fall decor.
I'm not talking Halloween.
Chrisy (22:17):
I'm talking mean a Halloween hater.
Kerry (22:22):
I love the like I said, I do love fall.
I do love the atmosphere offall, I love the look of the
colors and the you know, all ofthat.
So to see that when you go upto somebody's house and they
have the really nice little falldisplay and they got, you know,
the like it, I I I appreciateit.
I love it.
At this point in my life, Idon't do that.
Maybe the next stage of my lifeI will have time to do that.
(22:46):
But so I love that kind ofstuff.
But uh Halloween, nah, that'sgonna be another episode.
Yeah, well, you can.
Chrisy (22:52):
We can talk about the Dollar General fines.
Oh gosh, because that's a wholevideo series.
I'm not gonna talk about now.
But then crappy plasticpumpkins, again, like the poo
noodles, overused, and gives mea flipping problem because I
feel like I need to run and gograb 20 pumpkins.
Plastic pumpkins.
(23:13):
That's because your daddecorated with plastic
McDonald's pumpkins.
My man would have never donewhat they're doing now.
I mean, stabbing it andsticking a light bulb in it is
one thing.
But these people are likepainting them and the little
twinkle lights and another,another show, another show.
Another show, another show.
Kerry (23:32):
So, what else we got for fall?
So, what about these fallfestivals?
Do you guys go to any kind offall festivals or falls?
Chrisy (23:39):
Like an Oktoberfest thing?
Kerry (23:41):
No, like for instance, like a lot of times this time of
year you'll have like differentcommunities will have craft
shows and it'll be like fallcrafts and you know, or just
different vendors, and thenthey've got the hot apple cider,
the you know, it's just falltheme.
Like, for instance, this oneplace that's near us, White
House Fruit Farms.
Yeah.
Not a sponsor.
(24:01):
They have this big fall weekendthing, and so it's all about
the apple cider and the donutsand pumpkins, pumpkins, and you
know, it's just something to doon the weekend to go walking
through the field and pick apumpkin and it sounds wonderful.
Chrisy (24:16):
And I do remember when I lived in that area that that
was a big deal.
Yeah.
For me, that requires beingaround an awful lot of people.
Kerry (24:24):
There you go, sister.
Amen.
And I would love to go, but Iwant only see, like, I don't
want to be so close where I'mbumping shoulders with people.
I don't, you know, like I andyeah.
Limit it to like 30 people.
Jeez, that's a lot.
Chrisy (24:39):
I know.
You know, I kind of always wantto go to the code.
Kerry (24:42):
Normally there's like 200 people.
Well, yeah, it's horrible.
Well, so 30 is better.
Chrisy (24:47):
Okay.
So I my think process here isreally bad because I would like
to go to something, uh, which anor a company has like totally
worked so hard to promote, put alot of money investing in this
to have a lot of people come inand enjoy it and buy things and
just really be wonderful.
And my whole thing is such adowner.
I basically am in my own way,but not like right firsthand.
(25:11):
I'm kind of hoping you fail.
I want to be the only personthat shows up because I don't
want to be around anybody.
So I'm thinking, wouldn't it begreat if just like everybody
forgot it was this weekend?
Kerry (25:22):
Or pray for bad weather.
Let it freaking rain.
And now see, now Jim and I dothis a lot.
We when we go to the zoo a lotand we're always like, let it be
bad weather.
I don't care.
I'll we I'll go to the zoo inbad weather because that means
there'll be less people thereand I won't have to deal with
them.
I don't care if I have anumbrella and I'm walking in the
rain, but it just means lesspeople.
Chrisy (25:43):
Well, if it's warm enough, I suppose that probably
would be fun.
Kerry (25:46):
I will say that is speaking of uh zoos, the the one
Halloween type thing I do liketo go to is when they have the
boo in the zoo, you know, andthey do decorate the zoo and
they have all the fall Halloweenthings or whatever, and it's
it's kind of like a prelude tothe Christmas lights at the zoo.
Right.
That is one Halloween themedthing I can get into.
Chrisy (26:08):
See, I would be freaked out with the Halloween one
because what if they'redecorating and I mistake a real
animal for decoration?
And now I am the feast of uhSimba.
Because I was like, look atthis lifelike decoration, it's
(26:33):
terrifying.
And Simba had gotten out of thecage.
Well, that's the other thing.
I'm always worried about you gointo a zoo, and it's just you
see these again with the videos,so-so got loose, somebody let
so-and-so out of the cage, andwhoopsie.
Kerry (26:48):
We were there once when the moose got out of the zoo,
and uh, so we were like put inlockdown because the moose got
out.
Chrisy (26:56):
So did you see it running by and chasing it?
Kerry (27:00):
No, the funny thing is we had just walked past the moose
exhibit and we didn't see it, sowe just kept walking.
Well, then next thing we know,it's we didn't see it because it
got out and it was loose.
I think it was like we maybe wedid see it, but it was kind of
in the trees, so it wasn't likefeeling like we were threatened.
But yeah, we were all put inlockdown.
They they put us like theymoved everybody to this one
(27:22):
section where they were able toshut a gate, and so we were like
locked in this one area of thezoo.
What was funny, it was theAfrican area.
So, like I if you know, now wewent from a well, relatively
safe.
I mean, it was a moose, itcould still hurt you, but but
then they locked us in the lionarea where safer lion.
Chrisy (27:43):
Well, that says a lot about a moose.
Kerry (27:45):
So they they got the moose.
It was like a nine-month-oldmoose that was actually an
orphan rescue.
Chrisy (27:50):
So they got somebody orphaned a moose.
Well, is that a common thingwith the mm mm moose?
Kerry (27:58):
I don't know how to say that.
Um I don't remember the wholestory, but I the moose came from
somewhere like Montana orwhatever, and it the mother had
gotten killed.
Speaker 03 (28:07):
Oh no.
Kerry (28:07):
And so this was the orphan baby, and so the zoo took
it, and and that's how they gotthis, you know, baby.
So, but it was like nine monthsold or something like that, and
so it was still learning likeits boundaries and exhibits and
whatever, it got out.
But they within 30 minutes, itwas safely back in its habitat.
Chrisy (28:25):
We were exciting 30 minutes.
Kerry (28:28):
It was so now every time we go to the zoo and we walk by
the moose, we're like, hey,remember last time we were here
and the moose got loose?
Chrisy (28:34):
See, now you like completely gave me another level
of anxiety.
Not that I go to the zoo a lot,but now she's never going to
the zoo.
Well, here's the deal with allthings.
Just to give you the backgroundon my thinking, I'm gonna go to
the zoo.
And generally, when we didn'tsee the animal where it was
supposed to be, yeah, I was justlike, oh, it must be inside
somewhere because it's cold orit just doesn't want to look at
us right now.
(28:54):
Or but now every time if I goback to the zoo, I'm gonna
think, Where is this tiger?
Where is it out?
Why isn't it here?
I need to know proof that thisisn't wandering around.
I'm gonna always think that ifI don't see it, it's out
somewhere.
Kerry (29:11):
Now that's dysfunction.
Chrisy (29:12):
There we go.
Kerry (29:14):
Because I'm always gonna think of a way if I'm gonna die
today.
Oh my god.
Again, we digress.
How we went from the fall toanimals loose at the zoo.
It's insane.
I think we had too much coffeethis morning.
Our brains are jumping around.
Probably.
Chrisy (29:30):
Absolutely.
Kerry (29:32):
Well, I hope everybody is enjoying their fall weather.
Um and your coffee.
And your coffee, whether it'spumpkin spice or white chocolate
milk or plain black coffee withtwo ice cubes like Farm Boy
Gym.
Right.
But we have to say we've gotsome exciting things happen this
fall in October.
Absolutely.
So even though we may not liketo be around people too much, we
will love to be at the UnitedWay of Wayne and Holmes County
(29:58):
in Worcester, Ohio.
For their 5K fun run thatthey're having on October 25th
from 9 to 11 in historicdowntown Worcester.
This is the uh Heart and Ghoul5K.
Chrissy and I will be there.
We still have to figure out ourcostumes.
We have ideas.
We have ideas, we do, but weare gonna be there.
(30:18):
I'm probably gonna run in therace.
Chrissy's gonna cheer me onfrom the sidelines.
But this month for JunkiesCare, we are supporting the
United Way of Wayne and HolmesCounty.
Um, so that is our Junkies Careinitiative this month.
So we do hope that you're ableto come out and see us and maybe
participate.
One of the things they talkabout there is after the race,
(30:39):
there's an after party, and it'sgoing to be at a restaurant
called Muddies.
So if you run in the race, youget a free beer or coffee.
So you know, bring your pumpkinspice uh flavoring and you can
add it to your coffee there thatday.
Chrisy (30:53):
Very good, yes.
Kerry (30:54):
Or maybe they have pumpkin beer too.
Oh, they do.
Oh, they make they do makepumpkin flavored beer.
Oh ginger beer, I could do, butnot pumpkin beer.
But, anyways, so that is ourdysfunction junkies care for
this month.
But you can check out all thethings about us on our website,
which is dysfunctionjunkiespodcast.com.
(31:16):
We also now have a blog.
So Carrie's blog released thismonth and actually last a couple
weeks ago in September.
I talk about uh just anythingand everything.
And Chrissy's getting hersgoing too.
So make sure you check out ourwebsite to read our blogs about
other random thoughts that wehave.
Chrisy (31:33):
Yeah, mine's gonna be everywhere.
Kerry (31:36):
Mine is called The Elephant Speaks.
Chrissy's still kind of workingon hers, although we have some
good ideas what we think it'sgonna be.
But uh, so but yeah, you cancheck us out there, check us out
what we're what we're talkingabout, our show ideas, episodes,
everything you need to knowabout us is on there.
So check that out.
Chrisy (31:51):
Yes.
Kerry (31:52):
Alrighty, everyone.
Have a great fall, and uh we'lltalk to you later.
Bye bye.
Bye.
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