April 16, 2025 • 32 mins
What happens when two Catholic school survivors dissect religious traditions with equal parts reverence and humor? This uncut Ash Wednesday episode of Dysfunction Junkies delivers a candid exploration of Catholic upbringing that will resonate with anyone who's navigated religious traditions. Be sure to tune in and enjoy.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
DJ Nick (00:07):
Welcome to a special uncut edition of the Dysfunction
Junkies podcast, where we maynot have seen it all, but we've
seen enough.
And now here are your hosts,Chrisy and Kerry.
Kerry (00:21):
Hello Junkies.
Well, Chrisy and I have aspecial treat for you today we
are going to share with you theoriginal uncut version of our
Ash Wednesday episode.
We thought this uncut versionwould be a great way to close
out the Easter season, so sitback and enjoy, and happy Easter
(00:43):
junkies.
Welcome to your safe space.
I'm Keri
and I'm Chrissy
and we want to take a moment to thank all of our
listeners.
We are so excited.
We are now in 23 states andover 80 cities in three
countries the United States,Bahamas and Bermuda.
So thank you to all of you outthere listening.
(01:05):
We so appreciate that.
Chrisy (01:07):
Yes, thank, you, love you all.
Kerry (01:09):
Chrisy, how you doing what's going on.
Chrisy (01:11):
I don't know.
You told me what's going on.
You come over here I don't knowhow to bring this up.
What, what do you got on yourhead?
I didn't know you smoked.
Who smokes in your house,Chrisy?
Looks like somebody put acigarette out on your head.
No, it's Ash Wednesday, come on.
Oh, it's Ash Wednesday,everybody.
Kerry (01:28):
It's Ash Wednesday, it's the beginning of Lent.
Where's your thumbprint on yourhead?
Chrisy (01:33):
No, no, no.
Oh, come on, what are theysticking on your head?
Explain that to me real quick,if you can't, you can't.
But I know it's palms from theyear before.
At least that's what they tellus.
Where do they get?
Kerry (01:50):
these palms from the year before, but where are?
Chrisy (01:51):
they from?
Where do we live in ohio?
Kerry (01:52):
we don't have palms.
I'm like you're answering yourown question.
Well, being that I work at achurch, I can tell you where the
palms come from.
Chrisy (01:58):
Oh, I want inside information right now.
Kerry (02:00):
Yes, there's companies that like that, like out west,
and they grow the palms and youorder them.
In fact, I was so irritatedthis year because we weren't
even through Christmas and wewere still ordering poinsettias
for Christmas and I startedgetting the flyers and brochure
information on ordering palmsand I'm like it's December.
Why am I even looking at palmordering information in December
(02:24):
, like that's, it's like thewhole decorating thing, or
christmas, you know, when theyput the stores, put the
christmas stuff out, you knowjuly, and it's like I haven't
even gotten through, likethanksgiving yet, and you're
putting this out.
It's the same thing, you know.
Chrisy (02:36):
so, yeah, you order them and they send them to you okay,
wait, the palm thing is like atwo-parter because they burn
them for Ash Wednesday tothumbprint everybody's ID,
everybody's forehead and then.
But we use them.
So Palm Sunday oh yeah, thatone.
That's what I'm thinking.
Yes, they give you, they handthe stuff out, so you okay.
(03:00):
Oh my God, chrissy.
Kerry (03:01):
Do we have to go through Catholic School 101 now again
here?
Chrisy (03:03):
Well, I wasn't at school on Easter Sunday or Palm Sunday
, it was Sunday.
We weren't classy.
You know what they used to sayyou like school on a Saturday.
You got no class.
Kerry (03:15):
Oh my gosh.
Chrisy (03:16):
I'm not even going to tell you where I heard that one,
because you can't talk aboutthat cartoon anymore because
it's naughty.
No, now you got my curiosity up.
Well, it was a heavyset leadcharacter and his gang.
But oh, oh, it was on fatalbert.
Oh my god, he said the word, hesaid the words we grew up on
(03:37):
all that lovely.
Kerry (03:39):
Oh my god, I totally forgot about that.
Okay, so back to the palms.
Yes, okay, so we get our asheson Ash Wednesday and then From
the prior year.
Those are from the palms fromthe prior year.
So then on Palm Sunday we getthe palms and then you keep
those, or the priest or thechurch keeps those palms and
they can burn them to make theashes, and then they keep those
(03:59):
for the following year's AshWednesday.
Chrisy (04:01):
Where are these burnt?
Kerry (04:03):
In a burn pile in the back.
I.
Chrisy (04:04):
Ash Wednesday.
Where are these burnt?
In a burn pile in the back.
Kerry (04:06):
They just hang out and they sit down and have like a,
they dry them out.
Chrisy (04:08):
Yeah, they just like they're sitting around having
beers and burning the palms orno, they're drinking the Mogan
David.
Kerry (04:13):
Oh, that's right.
Remember the church wine.
Chrisy (04:18):
I'm fascinated by the companies that manufacture and
distribute these.
Kerry (04:22):
Yes, and they limit you depending on the palm production
of the year.
So, like this year, when theysent the flyers out, they were
saying like, oh, you can onlyorder so many of this palm or so
many of this palm because youknow growing rate and the
drought and everything.
Chrisy (04:35):
So oh, ok, because I work for a company an oil
company, and our allocation isdependent upon how much we
bought sometimes yeah.
So is it like that with outsideof oil?
No, your allocation isdependent upon how many you
bought the prior year.
Kerry (04:51):
No, because there's different kinds of palms, so
churches like to buy differentpalms to decorate with, like
there's the date palms, yeah,those are annoying.
Chrisy (05:01):
People have those.
We used to have those and therewere people who could do this.
They could create like littlecrucifixes, oh, and some of them
are really.
Yes, yeah, anybody got a pussycat out there?
Because if you know, if you gota cat in a palm, the cat's
going to start nibbling on thesethings.
They find them fascinating andthen they're going to hack it up
(05:28):
.
You go, cats eat those, atleast in my experience.
Oh my god, they seem to befascinated with eating.
Isn't that part of the biblesomewhere where the kitty cat?
Isn't that a sign of somethingwhen the kitty cat eats the palm
and then pukes it up?
What bible did you read?
I didn't read a bible I just Iwas asking you if they had that
part in there.
Kerry (05:45):
I have never heard of this story.
So I'm, I'm good, I don't know.
Chrisy (05:51):
Again, my, my imagination is wild.
I'm not sure if you're prankingme right now or if you're being
serious.
I'm serious that I have a veryactive imagination, but I'm I
have not no logic in anythingthis is based on.
But no move forward.
Go Okay, I'll come, we'll dothat.
Another, there'll be another.
Kerry (06:08):
Ash.
Chrisy (06:09):
Wednesday, we'll talk about it.
So, anyway, go back to yourthumbprint.
Yeah, so the thumbprint?
Yeah, but it's supposed to looklike a cross, isn't it?
Kerry (06:20):
Well, yeah, they do the little cross.
Chrisy (06:20):
They're really lousy, do the little cross thing.
They're really lousy and that'sa simple symbol, isn't it?
Up and down and then across.
Kerry (06:29):
Well, it depends on if they have a fat thumb, or if you
were the first one in that dip,you'd think they'd be up there
with like a nice paintbrush ohmy God.
Chrisy (06:37):
Or maybe a stick-on like a stick-on tattoo.
Can we just do that?
Then it gets weird.
Yeah, you're making it weird.
Kerry (06:44):
Can we just do that?
Then it gets weird.
Yeah, because I'm gettingflashbacks things people used to
carve in their forehead um theworst part I have about it is
when you go in the morning andyou get the palms and if you
happen to be first in line oryou know they they dip their
thumb in the ashes like everytwo or three people because
there's so much.
So if you're that first oneafter the dip you got it really
(07:05):
thick and then it sprinkles inyour eyes and when you have
contacts it's like all day I'mlike.
Chrisy (07:11):
But you know I take one for the team, I guess Going to
Catholic school and we would begathered in the gymnasium when
all of us had to attend, becausewe didn't?
Our Catholic high school didn'tactually have a church attached
to it like?
Our elementary schools had.
Kerry (07:27):
We were all attached to the churches.
Chrisy (07:29):
And so we would all gather in the gym, which made
you feel very, very close to God.
And then people would.
They would have you go up onAsh Wednesday and the amount of
students at our school there,they were very involved with
doing this.
Yes, I was like I am 15, 16, 17.
Kerry (07:48):
I put makeup on, did my hair.
Chrisy (07:52):
Now you want me to go get a thumbprint on my head?
Ain't happening, nope.
So I used to walk around andhope nobody questioned.
But we had a lot of people.
Kerry (07:59):
Did you skip the line?
Chrisy (08:00):
Oh yeah, I never would go and get that on my head.
You didn't have to.
Kerry (08:04):
Oh, you didn't have to.
Oh, you didn't have to.
Chrisy (08:05):
No, I don't know there were a lot of fellow classmates
who were not catholic but wentto our catholic high school
because there were other reasons?
Kerry (08:13):
did you stay in the stadium seating or did you have?
Did everyone have to get up andwalk and you just?
When it came to that part, youjust bypassed and kept going.
No, I think I.
Or did you stay seating?
I think you just sated and keptgoing?
No, I think I.
Or did you?
Chrisy (08:23):
stay seating.
I think you just sat there.
Oh, I might have laid on theground until everybody got back.
All right, enough of mycrappiness, go for it.
Oh my, yes, so we are in theseason of Lent.
Yes, ok.
Kerry (08:37):
Now, you and I, although we went to the same Catholic
high school, we grew up verydifferent as far as religion.
Yeah, so we've talked aboutthat.
Religion was kind of like avery prominent thing in our
house.
So did you even do anything forlent in your house?
Did you ever give up anything?
No, never I don't.
Chrisy (08:55):
Might have said it just to say, because I think when we
went to catholic school you hadto tell them what you were
giving up and draw a pictureshowing you.
Usually you know it was minewas like a little girl with
tears because I had to givesomething up Pizza no, it ain't
happening.
Ice cream not happening.
Kerry (09:12):
Well, no, you need the hot dogs in your ice cream.
Yeah, how am I supposed to diet?
Chrisy (09:17):
without this, how much am I supposed to do?
You know my life already isrough and you want me to give up
stuff Now talk about misery, onmisery here.
Kerry (09:26):
Yeah.
Chrisy (09:27):
Lent is fascinating, but no, no, I don't remember a
whole lot, just getting readyfor the Easter bunny, but I
guess it's not really, eventhough it's connected it's not
part of the.
Lent thing.
No, two different things.
Well, they get the Fat Tuesdaything.
Kerry (09:43):
Yeah, what's up with that ?
Chrisy (09:43):
Well, that's just another way of them making you
have to go on a diet with hotdogs and ice cream.
Kerry (09:51):
I think this is my theory on Fat Tuesday and Lent.
Okay, so we had the first ofthe year where we all decided,
okay, we ate too much overThanksgiving and Christmas.
So we had to have New Year'sDay where we had to purge
everything out of that, cleanout the cupboards, and we're
going to start our diets, we'regoing to start being healthy.
That lasted what?
(10:12):
Eight weeks, and now it's thebeginning of March and we failed
at it, so we're going to tryagain.
Okay, so now we got Lent, we'regoing to try this Lent thing.
So, fat Tuesday, we're going toeat everything out of the house
, we're going to purgeeverything, we're going to try
again with Lent and we're goingto give up stuff for Lent.
Chrisy (10:26):
That's what I think is going on the Catholics didn't
have a Pope for a little whileand because the one Pope that
was in there decided to throweverybody a curveball and
(10:46):
instead of dropping dead whilehe was Pope oh God, christ, well
, I'm sorry Instead of passingaway like all the Popes do
before they're done with theirtenure or time in, or whatever
you want to call it, he justdecided to retire.
He's like I got too much life.
I got stuff I want to do peopleto see.
I can't be stuck here tellingall you followers of christ and
the catholic church what to do.
I'm done.
(11:07):
So you're saying that, like I'm, by the way, everybody.
I just uh scheduled myappointment in hell for this
episode.
So, uh, some of you, I will seethere, some of you will, but
the Pope wasn't.
There is what I'm trying to say.
And they can't seem to getsomebody in office.
They don't usher people in realquick.
You got to wait for black smokeup there on the rooftop and
(11:31):
maybe Karen's up there fromFrosty waiting for the smoke
signals.
That's why they left her up onthe roof.
Kerry (11:39):
And for those of you that may be a new listener, what
Chrissy is referencing a lot ofprevious episodes, so some of
this rhetoric doesn't make sense.
Go back and listen to previousepisodes.
Chrisy (11:51):
It's worth it.
It's so worth it, so, anyhow.
What I'm getting at, though, isthere was no Pope overseeing
anything.
And people, my husband's familymember.
We wanted to get ice cream andthey said, well, I can't do that
because I gave up ice cream forLent and I said but wait a
minute who?
There's no Pope, nobody ismanning the station.
Who's going to criticize you?
Catholic's gone wild, man.
(12:17):
Catholic's gone wild.
You got girls gone wild.
Catholic's gone wild.
No Pope equals go man, go.
What do they call that?
One place in the bible, sodomand gomorrah, or what.
What is that?
Well, I don't know.
I hear people say that thesebible references.
Kerry (12:32):
There's what the different types of bibles.
I'm gonna have to look up thebible by no, it's just like it's
cliff notes, cliff richardsnotes that's what I got.
Chrisy (12:44):
Um, yeah, no, I mean, I just didn't understand why we
were still having lent without apope.
If the pope's not there,doesn't that mean that we need
to take a break and regroup?
Kerry (12:53):
you're changing the liturgical calendar based on an
actual person.
Chrisy (12:59):
Oh my god well, he's the man.
He's the man.
He's the man when people wantto get divorced in the Catholic
Church.
They got to ask him forpermission.
Kerry (13:06):
Does it really go all the way to the Pope?
I thought it did.
It doesn't.
No, it doesn't.
Chrisy (13:12):
He's cut bigger fish to fry.
Well then, who's offering allthat dispensation During Lent?
He?
Kerry (13:14):
has buried fish to fry.
Chrisy (13:22):
You got to watch because the health department doesn't
let some of those churches frythat fish because they don't
have appropriate kitchens.
Be care, make sure that theygot their little ticket from the
health department.
You don't want to eat that badfish.
I saw one church.
They were doing it out in theirgarage.
Kerry (13:34):
Some of those fish fries are really good, though.
Chrisy (13:36):
Oh, they're great yeah until you get food, poisoning we
, we really struck a nerve today.
Kerry (13:44):
All right, move, all righty.
Chrisy (13:45):
Then Chrissy's going to hell and Catholic's gone wild.
That's what I offer today,Carrie go.
Kerry (13:52):
Carrie go.
Where do I even follow up withthat?
Oh my, so fish fries are a nofor Chrissy, so we are not.
No I love them as long as theyhave the health department
license.
Chrisy (14:02):
Well, no, I don't they just you gotta just make sure
that.
Yeah, back where we're from,you have such a flipping choice
yes Of fish fries.
And when we moved where I livenow, yes, do you not have them?
here.
Yeah, I think they have them alittle bit, but bit.
But you really gotta look forthem, which is fine, yeah, but
you gotta look for them and youdon't have the variety of
(14:24):
choices that we used to have.
And I'm not generally following, not eating meat on it, I'm
done with that.
I was done with that for theflipping christmas stuff.
Kerry (14:34):
My mom was so strict on that it became.
You know how, like you weresaying, your mom changed the
rules on the the uh going to thegraveyard okay my mom, I think,
changed the rules on the nomeat on friday thing because it
used to be, yeah, during lent,no meat on friday.
Well then all of a sudden itbecame you can't eat on friday,
any day, any friday of the year,like no fridays.
(14:54):
And so she would say when shewas living with us she'd be like
, oh, I can't eat meat on friday.
I'm like mom, it's not lent, ohno, we can't eat meat on friday
so does your mother stillobserve that?
well, if she, I know she's olderyeah, she's cognitively
declining and so like shedoesn't think about it oh, over
the last, but in the last 20years or so, oh yeah oh yeah,
(15:16):
and that's what I'm saying.
It got worse.
It got to where it wasn't justduring lent, it was all every
friday.
You could never have like shewould fast all.
Not only is it don't eat meat,but you had to fast like on
fridays, like you ate verylittle on fridays yeah, but
that's like you're getting ready, man, and that's what we used
to tell her.
We're like we're like mom.
You know, once you get to acertain age, you don't have to
(15:38):
abide by that.
You know, there's a rule rightthat pope.
Chrisy (15:41):
He makes the rule.
He says if you're this old, youmade it this long, you don't
have to follow the rules anymoreshe still follows the rules.
Oh no, my, the little preciouslady upstairs that's visiting
with me right now, she, she willtell you all the rules she no
longer has to follow, as if shefollowed them in the first place
.
Now she's just trying togaslight me and make me think
(16:01):
that she was following the rulesall along.
I don't seem to remember itthat way, but okay, maybe you
were.
I can't say for sure yeah you,as you can tell from my stories,
probably wasn't paying muchattention to what they weren't
paying attention to me and,equally, here I wasn't paying
attention, was not interested,it was they.
We were perfect for each other.
I had the best parents For meFor you.
(16:22):
Yeah, hands off, hands off.
Yeah, she constantly reminds meof her age.
I don't know what the agecutoff is for following rules,
but she's been that age for aslong as I can remember.
Now I don't have to follow thatanymore.
Kerry (16:35):
But that's so funny because on the other side of the
coin, she doesn't want to livein the assisted living because
she's not old enough for that.
On the other side of the coin,she doesn't want to live in the
assisted living because she'snot old enough for that?
Chrisy (16:46):
No, yeah Well, so she uses her age when it's to her
advantage.
That's my whole life.
Just make it up as you go alongand change it whenever you want
.
Kerry (16:51):
Yeah, see, for me, religion growing up and again,
disclaimer I do love my religionand we do joke around about
things or whatever, but it'sjust because of how we grew up
that you have to find someperspective on things.
So for me it was growing up.
You know, religion was alwaysthis you had to always like how
was the words I want to say?
You could you, you weren'tallowed, you had to take it.
(17:12):
You know, you had to take.
Whatever people did to you, itwas like, you know, you couldn't
, you didn't fight back, youdidn't say anything about it,
you were if you did, you werebeing unchristian like, so you
just had to take it.
So, no matter what washappening to you, you just had
to, you know, be, be the betterperson, and just like I know
because he's Chris's favoritephrase in because otherwise you
(17:33):
were, you weren't beingChristian enough.
So you just had to.
You know, just like how theytormented Jesus, well, if you're
getting tormented, well, thenthere you go.
Good for you, you.
How they tormented Jesus, well,if you're getting tormented,
well, then there you go.
Good for you, you're doing theright thing.
And that was hard for me forthe longest time.
It took me a long time to learnto stand up for myself, and so
now, when I look at religion andhow it affected me growing up,
it does give me a differentperspective.
But I found my way in my faith,but it's definitely different
(17:56):
than how I grew up.
Chrisy (17:57):
Yes, I want to state that I do understand.
You are strong in your faith,yes, and that you were, when we
were good friends too.
I was just trying to play along, you did, you played the part,
I mean.
And my Catholic religion wasnot because my family if you can
figure anything out from thiswas into being Catholic.
(18:18):
My father became Catholic whenhe married my mother.
He was not raised Catholic.
Kerry (18:23):
Right.
Chrisy (18:23):
He had grandparents who, being Catholic, my father
became Catholic when he marriedmy mother.
He was not raised Catholic.
He had grandparents who wereCatholic, but I don't know that
my grandfather or grandmotherwere subscribers to any religion
specifically, so he becameCatholic when he was going to
marry my mom.
The reason I ended up atCatholic school I actually, in
kindergarten I did go to thepublic school in town on my side
of town for it seemed like onlyone day to me in my memory,
(18:45):
because I can only remember oneday of it.
Oh, okay, but my understandingfrom listening to other people
was it was more like a few weeks.
Oh, the reason I got placed inCatholic school wasn't because
they thought it would be lovelyto have Chrissy have a wonderful
experience in a Catholicexperience and Catholic
education.
It was because my mom and dadwork and they needed to put
(19:06):
Chrissy somewhere all dayBecause the public school only
had kindergarten half days.
Kerry (19:12):
So that's interesting, because for me actually so
because you lived on a differentside.
We lived close together, but ondifferent sides of town.
So when I went to kindergarten,I went to kindergarten at a
public school because it had allday kindergarten and my mom and
dad worked, so I had to gothere and I couldn't go to the
Catholic kindergarten becausethey only had half day.
Chrisy (19:34):
Ah, that's interesting.
Well, you were a township.
Kerry (19:37):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You were out there in thepretty townships we lived close,
but it was enough of adifference.
And then, once you know,started grade school, then it
was full time there.
Chrisy (19:46):
Yeah, no, the public school where I was assigned to
go was only half days at thattime, gotcha.
So I think it might be, I don'tknow because so many Catholic
schools where we grew up they'regone.
Yeah, they are are I thinkthere's only what like maybe
three or four maybe when therewas probably what?
12, oh, more than that, oh mygosh, just on my side of town, I
(20:11):
think we had three or four,yeah, some that I forgot existed
in one of the other episodes,when we were talking about
riding the bus.
Kerry (20:17):
I rode the bus and they picked up all the kids from the
catholic schools and theydropped them off at the
different you know differentschools so like we stopped at
two other catholic schools todrop off kids wait a minute.
Chrisy (20:28):
The bus only picked up the catholic school kids we
didn't when you're in the city.
They made you share that withsome of the public school kids.
Kerry (20:35):
Well, didn't they actually even drive the, the
public city buses, the?
Kids from our high school.
Some of the kids, their busfrom inner city was the the city
bus yeah, yeah, oh, oh, youmean, like the public
transportation?
Chrisy (20:49):
yeah, public transportation bus.
No, I did I.
No, I was still on a public uhyeah, a school approved vehicle
yellow, yellow vehicle bus typethe wheels on the bus.
Yeah, not, not, not somethingfrom the bus.
Downtown had the uh transit,public transit thing, I'm not
gonna say the name.
Yeah, yeah, yeah well itchanges from city it does, it
(21:10):
does.
Kerry (21:10):
Yeah, so did you have any other, any people with other
religions in your family?
Uh, uh, not that I can think of.
So this was like a big thing inmy family because it's
obviously Catholic.
My mom and dad were Catholic,they were raised Catholic, and
so then at some point again bigdifference in age between me and
(21:30):
my sisters and stuff, and so atone point some family members
decided to go to a differentreligion.
Ok well, this was like a hugething in our family but, it was.
It was a big problem and I wasyoung enough and even from a
young age you know again verymuch, you know how we grew up
(21:51):
with.
Our religion was very muchingrained, but I still was very
open to other like it didn't.
It didn't define me, it didn'tdefine other people, so, but
this was a big problem.
It caused a big division in thefamily because some members of
the family wanted to be thisother religion.
I never had a problem with itand I remember as a teenager,
when this was partly going on,saying to my parents why does it
(22:13):
matter?
Like, why, why does it matter?
It's okay, they're not killingpeople, they're not doing you
know, they're just followingdifferent.
And it was such a problem.
And I always stuck up for thosefamily members.
And it was recently, within thelast year, that one of those
family members came at me andthey said to me like accuse me
of, you've never.
You've always had a problemwith my religion.
(22:34):
And I'm like where are yougetting that from?
Because I'm the farthest fromlike.
I don't care what religionpeople are.
I, because I'm the farthestfrom like I don't care what
religion people are.
I really don't.
I judge you as a person and howyou act and how you are to me
and how you are to other people.
I don't care what the labelsays, you know, yeah.
So that was like really hard.
And what really got me is I'mlike, you know, all of my life
my family didn't stick up for me.
(22:55):
They didn't protect me throughall the things I've been through
being abused as a child, beingsexually abused by family
members, all these other thingsand I stuck up for them.
And then now they're accusingme of not sticking up for them
and it's like where the heck?
Oh, so frustrating.
And that's where religion,that's where I have sometimes,
(23:16):
sometimes an issue.
It's like it becomes thisdefining thing and it's like
wait, just be be yourself I lovethe fact that you said that you
don't judge people, whateverreligion they are yeah and I
don't judge anyone's religionexcept catholics, because I have
a little bit of experience withcatholics, I'm not gonna judge
(23:38):
you
Chrisy (23:38):
if you're a Presbyterian Methodist.
I grew up with some friendsthat were Methodists and I was
always fascinated with religion.
I worked for some people whowere Jewish.
That was one that was new forme and I was fascinated and I
would ask and it was not out ofdisrespect, I was curious, I was
legitimately and I would askyou know well, give me some.
And it was not out ofdisrespect, I was curious.
(23:58):
I was legitimately curious,right, because I want to know
what is the gentleman in ouroffice.
Because I worked for a companywhere we had to bring food.
Everybody just wanted to eatall the time, right, and we
would have, oh, one day a week,everybody brings in a dish.
I'm like, really, yeah, I waslike, really brings in a dish.
I'm like, really, yeah, I waslike, really young, I didn't
(24:19):
really want to cook anything andnow I gotta sign up to make
food.
And he would always, somebodywould always always bring in
baked beans.
Uh-huh, baked beans.
I don't know why.
That sounds like a horriblething to have why would you?
bring that to work, I know, buthe would always run around and
want to know who made the bakedbeans and if they were
vegetarian or not oh, and I'msitting there and the guy would
be running past my desk tentimes yelling you know the beans
(24:41):
, are they vegetarian?
And I finally went into hisoffice and said look, I don't
mean any disrespect, but why areyou so involved with why the
baked beans are vegetarian?
I mean, they're beans, aren'tthey?
I'm like I didn't understand.
I don't see any meat in there.
I didn't understand.
I don't see any meat in there.
Yeah, I didn't understand.
Yeah, because he was Jewish.
Yeah, and he was somewhatstrict, because my understanding
he explained to me was somepeople with Jewish religion
(25:06):
they're stricter and othersaren't, just like Catholics.
Kerry (25:08):
Just like any religion.
Oh yeah, Absolutely.
You have the whole gamut.
Chrisy (25:12):
But then he was telling me about the animals that they
do not.
Kerry (25:15):
Right.
Chrisy (25:15):
If you're real strict, they don't eat certain animals
with, like, split hoofs, yes, orany animals that are considered
dirty, I guess.
If they're real orthodox, Iguess they don't eat any fish.
That would be considered like abottom dweller.
Kerry (25:30):
Yes.
Chrisy (25:31):
So he gave me, which was I appreciate it.
Kerry (25:32):
It was very educational.
Chrisy (25:33):
Yes, yes.
And on the other hand, I wasworking with a guy who was very
Christian, which was fine, andhe I think I had mentioned that
I wanted to get fish during Lentand he wanted it.
I shouldn't have maybe not saidthat in front of him.
He was a little bothered at thefact that I felt I needed to
eat fish on Friday during Lentand again, it wasn't because it
(25:56):
was ingrained in me, I just knewthat I could get really good
fish on Friday during Lent and Iwas like man, I'd really like
to have some fish.
Kerry (26:01):
The restaurants do have good fish during Lent.
Chrisy (26:03):
Yes, and he wanted to explain to me that, with the New
Testament in his opinion, Iguess, or his facts or whatever
that when Jesus was given to us,the Son of God to come for us
to I don't know, work for us.
I guess I'm really stinking.
That's really interesting.
I try to learn everything fromJesus of Nazareth, the one
(26:26):
miniseries that's my favoriteshow Robert Powell.
Kerry (26:32):
Jesus of Nazareth, there we go.
Chrisy (26:34):
That's the one I recommend everybody At Easter.
I got to watch that and you say, why would you watch it?
You're not even religious.
But man, that guy puts a hellof a performance on his Jesus.
I mean he is.
He's like the picture everybodyhad on their fireplace.
That dude looks just like him.
Anyhow, he wanted to let meknow that I did not have to
follow those rules anymore andthat I was an idiot.
(26:54):
Basically he was insulting meand if I was a really hardcore
Catholic I guess I would havebeen insulted.
I was still insulted eventhough I was like dude.
Kerry (27:02):
I just want to get some quick fit Because he said yeah
when Jesus came down, was born,he took away all those rules.
Chrisy (27:10):
I said, jesus, I didn't know that you mean us idiots are
sitting here following allthese rules.
I think the Catholics have morerules than anybody.
They do have a lot of rulesBecause some religions seem to
be all hardcore Old Testament,yeah.
And then all these otherreligions are like, look, throw
that dumb book away and justfollow this nice new one.
Kerry (27:34):
Shiny new toy syndrome.
Chrisy (27:35):
I'm like Jesus, and then the Catholics we go back and
forth, tough.
Kerry (27:42):
I guess that's why there's a religion for everybody
out there, chrissy.
Chrisy (27:46):
Shoot fits every foot.
I guess I don't know what thesaying is.
Kerry (27:50):
So I will know next year that we either won't record on
Ash Wednesday or, if I do, I'llgo to service after we record.
No, I love it Because I didn'trealize this was going to cause
such a trauma.
Chrisy (28:00):
response no it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't.
I just needed I'm glad this wasa very good, because I didn't
know.
You taught me we have companiesthat make poems.
We do have companies.
Is it out of California orsomewhere warm where they get
the palms off the palm trees?
What's?
Kerry (28:15):
going on.
The place that I order from isin Arizona.
Chrisy (28:18):
Oh, they have palm trees there, oh yeah.
Kerry (28:20):
It's dry.
Chrisy (28:21):
My understanding is that palm trees need a lot of water.
Kerry (28:26):
They need water, but I don't know.
Necessarily they need a lot ofwater because there's a lot of
palms in the desert.
Chrisy (28:33):
Oh, that must be a different palm tree.
Kerry (28:34):
Well, there's all kinds of palms, there's different
types of palms, there'sdifferent types of palm trees,
there's different types of palmbushes.
It's a whole gamut, okay.
Chrisy (28:42):
Yeah, a Margaritaville palm.
Can I request?
Kerry (28:47):
those.
Yeah, I'm not sure if thatwould be the kind of palm.
I have to think about that.
Chrisy (28:54):
This might be a two-parter.
We might need to just keeptalking after we end the episode
and we can make that an extraepisode.
People want extra content.
How many weeks is Easter?
Isn't Easter like six weeks orsomething?
Oh gosh, I'm looking at you forthat answer, Carrie.
Kerry (29:06):
I think it's like six weeks.
They don't make it easy Like inLent or Advent.
You know there's four weeksbecause there's Advent 1, advent
2, advent 3, advent 4.
Chrisy (29:16):
Wait a minute.
This is like sequels, like Ironman 1, iron man.
There's Advent 1 through 4?
What if I only come to the gamefor Advent 4?
Kerry (29:27):
I gotta catch up on 1 through 3.
Chrisy (29:31):
I used to like those candles because they were pink,
and then there was a purple one,or was it all purple and one
was pink?
There you go Three purple andone was pink.
Kerry (29:38):
There you go.
I thought the candles werereally pretty Three purple and
one pink.
I like those colors, and thenthe one in the center for
Christmas was white.
There was a center candle.
Chrisy (29:48):
I didn't go to church after that.
Oh, Chrissy.
I never saw the white one.
I feel so cheated.
Well, I guess it.
I never saw the white one.
I feel so cheated.
Kerry (29:57):
Well, I guess it probably depends on the church.
But yeah, there usually is acenter, one that you light on
Christmas Cool.
Chrisy (30:04):
Yeah, I like the purple and pink ones.
Yeah.
Kerry (30:09):
Well, this was very educational.
I was thrown back into ourCatholic grade school high
school days here.
Chrisy (30:16):
Nobody got more education today than me, yeah,
but I think I scored probably aC today.
Well, then I know what letter Igot.
Alrighty well, A for effort.
Kerry (30:31):
We would like to know what you all are doing for this
time of year.
What are you giving up?
There is someone manning thehouse over there at the Vatican
would like to know what you allare doing for this time of year.
What are you giving up?
Chrisy (30:37):
there is someone, man in the cat, I mean the house over
there at the vatican.
So you guys better givesomething up and speaking,
unless he goes on vacation orsomething here.
Kerry (30:48):
Let's try this twist in speaking of giving up.
If you would like to give up afew dollars, you could.
We now have a way that you cansupport our cast, our podcast.
So we do now have a donationwhere, if you want to keep all
this great content coming at you, you can help us out.
Go to our website dysfunctionjunkiesbuzzsproutcom.
(31:11):
You can choose to give us a onetime donation or you can do a
reoccurring one.
Any little bit helps helps usto keep this great cast coming
to you.
So just check us out on ourwebsite and check us out on our
Facebook page.
We'd love to hear your storiesof Lent or Easter or whatever
religion that you follow.
Chrisy (31:29):
Yes, I would love to hear all this stuff.
Kerry (31:32):
We'd love to hear about how things affected you growing
up.
Did your family have a strictreligion?
Did it have an easygoing kindof approach to religion?
Did you have no religion?
I mean, tell us about it.
How did it affect you growingup?
We want to hear all the stories.
Chrisy (31:45):
Yes, and I need some money to get to go see Advent 1
through 3 and 4.
It's expensive at the theater.
Now I don't know if you cancatch that at the theater.
If you just want to, maybe I'lltake a picture of me next to a
candle and send it to you if youdonate.
I'm going to sneak into achurch and get near the.
Oh wait, that's Advent.
I've got to wait untilChristmas?
Kerry (32:06):
What candles do we burn for Lent?
Chrisy (32:10):
We don't have any candles, oh, but the palms.
Kerry (32:11):
I can set a palm on fire.
After Palm Sunday save theashes for next year okay, I'm
working on that.
Chrisy (32:20):
Thank you everybody.
Kerry (32:22):
All right happy lent happy lent bye.
Welcome to a special uncut edition of the Dysfunction
Junkies podcast, where we maynot have seen it all, but we've
seen enough.
And now here are your hosts,Chrisy and Kerry.
Kerry (00:21):
Hello Junkies.
Well, Chrisy and I have aspecial treat for you today we
are going to share with you theoriginal uncut version of our
Ash Wednesday episode.
We thought this uncut versionwould be a great way to close
out the Easter season, so sitback and enjoy, and happy Easter
(00:43):
junkies.
Welcome to your safe space.
I'm Keri
and I'm Chrissy
and we want to take a moment to thank all of our
listeners.
We are so excited.
We are now in 23 states andover 80 cities in three
countries the United States,Bahamas and Bermuda.
So thank you to all of you outthere listening.
(01:05):
We so appreciate that.
Chrisy (01:07):
Yes, thank, you, love you all.
Kerry (01:09):
Chrisy, how you doing what's going on.
Chrisy (01:11):
I don't know.
You told me what's going on.
You come over here I don't knowhow to bring this up.
What, what do you got on yourhead?
I didn't know you smoked.
Who smokes in your house,Chrisy?
Looks like somebody put acigarette out on your head.
No, it's Ash Wednesday, come on.
Oh, it's Ash Wednesday,everybody.
Kerry (01:28):
It's Ash Wednesday, it's the beginning of Lent.
Where's your thumbprint on yourhead?
Chrisy (01:33):
No, no, no.
Oh, come on, what are theysticking on your head?
Explain that to me real quick,if you can't, you can't.
But I know it's palms from theyear before.
At least that's what they tellus.
Where do they get?
Kerry (01:50):
these palms from the year before, but where are?
Chrisy (01:51):
they from?
Where do we live in ohio?
Kerry (01:52):
we don't have palms.
I'm like you're answering yourown question.
Well, being that I work at achurch, I can tell you where the
palms come from.
Chrisy (01:58):
Oh, I want inside information right now.
Kerry (02:00):
Yes, there's companies that like that, like out west,
and they grow the palms and youorder them.
In fact, I was so irritatedthis year because we weren't
even through Christmas and wewere still ordering poinsettias
for Christmas and I startedgetting the flyers and brochure
information on ordering palmsand I'm like it's December.
Why am I even looking at palmordering information in December
(02:24):
, like that's, it's like thewhole decorating thing, or
christmas, you know, when theyput the stores, put the
christmas stuff out, you knowjuly, and it's like I haven't
even gotten through, likethanksgiving yet, and you're
putting this out.
It's the same thing, you know.
Chrisy (02:36):
so, yeah, you order them and they send them to you okay,
wait, the palm thing is like atwo-parter because they burn
them for Ash Wednesday tothumbprint everybody's ID,
everybody's forehead and then.
But we use them.
So Palm Sunday oh yeah, thatone.
That's what I'm thinking.
Yes, they give you, they handthe stuff out, so you okay.
(03:00):
Oh my God, chrissy.
Kerry (03:01):
Do we have to go through Catholic School 101 now again
here?
Chrisy (03:03):
Well, I wasn't at school on Easter Sunday or Palm Sunday
, it was Sunday.
We weren't classy.
You know what they used to sayyou like school on a Saturday.
You got no class.
Kerry (03:15):
Oh my gosh.
Chrisy (03:16):
I'm not even going to tell you where I heard that one,
because you can't talk aboutthat cartoon anymore because
it's naughty.
No, now you got my curiosity up.
Well, it was a heavyset leadcharacter and his gang.
But oh, oh, it was on fatalbert.
Oh my god, he said the word, hesaid the words we grew up on
(03:37):
all that lovely.
Kerry (03:39):
Oh my god, I totally forgot about that.
Okay, so back to the palms.
Yes, okay, so we get our asheson Ash Wednesday and then From
the prior year.
Those are from the palms fromthe prior year.
So then on Palm Sunday we getthe palms and then you keep
those, or the priest or thechurch keeps those palms and
they can burn them to make theashes, and then they keep those
(03:59):
for the following year's AshWednesday.
Chrisy (04:01):
Where are these burnt?
Kerry (04:03):
In a burn pile in the back.
I.
Chrisy (04:04):
Ash Wednesday.
Where are these burnt?
In a burn pile in the back.
Kerry (04:06):
They just hang out and they sit down and have like a,
they dry them out.
Chrisy (04:08):
Yeah, they just like they're sitting around having
beers and burning the palms orno, they're drinking the Mogan
David.
Kerry (04:13):
Oh, that's right.
Remember the church wine.
Chrisy (04:18):
I'm fascinated by the companies that manufacture and
distribute these.
Kerry (04:22):
Yes, and they limit you depending on the palm production
of the year.
So, like this year, when theysent the flyers out, they were
saying like, oh, you can onlyorder so many of this palm or so
many of this palm because youknow growing rate and the
drought and everything.
Chrisy (04:35):
So oh, ok, because I work for a company an oil
company, and our allocation isdependent upon how much we
bought sometimes yeah.
So is it like that with outsideof oil?
No, your allocation isdependent upon how many you
bought the prior year.
Kerry (04:51):
No, because there's different kinds of palms, so
churches like to buy differentpalms to decorate with, like
there's the date palms, yeah,those are annoying.
Chrisy (05:01):
People have those.
We used to have those and therewere people who could do this.
They could create like littlecrucifixes, oh, and some of them
are really.
Yes, yeah, anybody got a pussycat out there?
Because if you know, if you gota cat in a palm, the cat's
going to start nibbling on thesethings.
They find them fascinating andthen they're going to hack it up
(05:28):
.
You go, cats eat those, atleast in my experience.
Oh my god, they seem to befascinated with eating.
Isn't that part of the biblesomewhere where the kitty cat?
Isn't that a sign of somethingwhen the kitty cat eats the palm
and then pukes it up?
What bible did you read?
I didn't read a bible I just Iwas asking you if they had that
part in there.
Kerry (05:45):
I have never heard of this story.
So I'm, I'm good, I don't know.
Chrisy (05:51):
Again, my, my imagination is wild.
I'm not sure if you're prankingme right now or if you're being
serious.
I'm serious that I have a veryactive imagination, but I'm I
have not no logic in anythingthis is based on.
But no move forward.
Go Okay, I'll come, we'll dothat.
Another, there'll be another.
Kerry (06:08):
Ash.
Chrisy (06:09):
Wednesday, we'll talk about it.
So, anyway, go back to yourthumbprint.
Yeah, so the thumbprint?
Yeah, but it's supposed to looklike a cross, isn't it?
Kerry (06:20):
Well, yeah, they do the little cross.
Chrisy (06:20):
They're really lousy, do the little cross thing.
They're really lousy and that'sa simple symbol, isn't it?
Up and down and then across.
Kerry (06:29):
Well, it depends on if they have a fat thumb, or if you
were the first one in that dip,you'd think they'd be up there
with like a nice paintbrush ohmy God.
Chrisy (06:37):
Or maybe a stick-on like a stick-on tattoo.
Can we just do that?
Then it gets weird.
Yeah, you're making it weird.
Kerry (06:44):
Can we just do that?
Then it gets weird.
Yeah, because I'm gettingflashbacks things people used to
carve in their forehead um theworst part I have about it is
when you go in the morning andyou get the palms and if you
happen to be first in line oryou know they they dip their
thumb in the ashes like everytwo or three people because
there's so much.
So if you're that first oneafter the dip you got it really
(07:05):
thick and then it sprinkles inyour eyes and when you have
contacts it's like all day I'mlike.
Chrisy (07:11):
But you know I take one for the team, I guess Going to
Catholic school and we would begathered in the gymnasium when
all of us had to attend, becausewe didn't?
Our Catholic high school didn'tactually have a church attached
to it like?
Our elementary schools had.
Kerry (07:27):
We were all attached to the churches.
Chrisy (07:29):
And so we would all gather in the gym, which made
you feel very, very close to God.
And then people would.
They would have you go up onAsh Wednesday and the amount of
students at our school there,they were very involved with
doing this.
Yes, I was like I am 15, 16, 17.
Kerry (07:48):
I put makeup on, did my hair.
Chrisy (07:52):
Now you want me to go get a thumbprint on my head?
Ain't happening, nope.
So I used to walk around andhope nobody questioned.
But we had a lot of people.
Kerry (07:59):
Did you skip the line?
Chrisy (08:00):
Oh yeah, I never would go and get that on my head.
You didn't have to.
Kerry (08:04):
Oh, you didn't have to.
Oh, you didn't have to.
Chrisy (08:05):
No, I don't know there were a lot of fellow classmates
who were not catholic but wentto our catholic high school
because there were other reasons?
Kerry (08:13):
did you stay in the stadium seating or did you have?
Did everyone have to get up andwalk and you just?
When it came to that part, youjust bypassed and kept going.
No, I think I.
Or did you stay seating?
I think you just sated and keptgoing?
No, I think I.
Or did you?
Chrisy (08:23):
stay seating.
I think you just sat there.
Oh, I might have laid on theground until everybody got back.
All right, enough of mycrappiness, go for it.
Oh my, yes, so we are in theseason of Lent.
Yes, ok.
Kerry (08:37):
Now, you and I, although we went to the same Catholic
high school, we grew up verydifferent as far as religion.
Yeah, so we've talked aboutthat.
Religion was kind of like avery prominent thing in our
house.
So did you even do anything forlent in your house?
Did you ever give up anything?
No, never I don't.
Chrisy (08:55):
Might have said it just to say, because I think when we
went to catholic school you hadto tell them what you were
giving up and draw a pictureshowing you.
Usually you know it was minewas like a little girl with
tears because I had to givesomething up Pizza no, it ain't
happening.
Ice cream not happening.
Kerry (09:12):
Well, no, you need the hot dogs in your ice cream.
Yeah, how am I supposed to diet?
Chrisy (09:17):
without this, how much am I supposed to do?
You know my life already isrough and you want me to give up
stuff Now talk about misery, onmisery here.
Kerry (09:26):
Yeah.
Chrisy (09:27):
Lent is fascinating, but no, no, I don't remember a
whole lot, just getting readyfor the Easter bunny, but I
guess it's not really, eventhough it's connected it's not
part of the.
Lent thing.
No, two different things.
Well, they get the Fat Tuesdaything.
Kerry (09:43):
Yeah, what's up with that ?
Chrisy (09:43):
Well, that's just another way of them making you
have to go on a diet with hotdogs and ice cream.
Kerry (09:51):
I think this is my theory on Fat Tuesday and Lent.
Okay, so we had the first ofthe year where we all decided,
okay, we ate too much overThanksgiving and Christmas.
So we had to have New Year'sDay where we had to purge
everything out of that, cleanout the cupboards, and we're
going to start our diets, we'regoing to start being healthy.
That lasted what?
(10:12):
Eight weeks, and now it's thebeginning of March and we failed
at it, so we're going to tryagain.
Okay, so now we got Lent, we'regoing to try this Lent thing.
So, fat Tuesday, we're going toeat everything out of the house
, we're going to purgeeverything, we're going to try
again with Lent and we're goingto give up stuff for Lent.
Chrisy (10:26):
That's what I think is going on the Catholics didn't
have a Pope for a little whileand because the one Pope that
was in there decided to throweverybody a curveball and
(10:46):
instead of dropping dead whilehe was Pope oh God, christ, well
, I'm sorry Instead of passingaway like all the Popes do
before they're done with theirtenure or time in, or whatever
you want to call it, he justdecided to retire.
He's like I got too much life.
I got stuff I want to do peopleto see.
I can't be stuck here tellingall you followers of christ and
the catholic church what to do.
I'm done.
(11:07):
So you're saying that, like I'm, by the way, everybody.
I just uh scheduled myappointment in hell for this
episode.
So, uh, some of you, I will seethere, some of you will, but
the Pope wasn't.
There is what I'm trying to say.
And they can't seem to getsomebody in office.
They don't usher people in realquick.
You got to wait for black smokeup there on the rooftop and
(11:31):
maybe Karen's up there fromFrosty waiting for the smoke
signals.
That's why they left her up onthe roof.
Kerry (11:39):
And for those of you that may be a new listener, what
Chrissy is referencing a lot ofprevious episodes, so some of
this rhetoric doesn't make sense.
Go back and listen to previousepisodes.
Chrisy (11:51):
It's worth it.
It's so worth it, so, anyhow.
What I'm getting at, though, isthere was no Pope overseeing
anything.
And people, my husband's familymember.
We wanted to get ice cream andthey said, well, I can't do that
because I gave up ice cream forLent and I said but wait a
minute who?
There's no Pope, nobody ismanning the station.
Who's going to criticize you?
Catholic's gone wild, man.
(12:17):
Catholic's gone wild.
You got girls gone wild.
Catholic's gone wild.
No Pope equals go man, go.
What do they call that?
One place in the bible, sodomand gomorrah, or what.
What is that?
Well, I don't know.
I hear people say that thesebible references.
Kerry (12:32):
There's what the different types of bibles.
I'm gonna have to look up thebible by no, it's just like it's
cliff notes, cliff richardsnotes that's what I got.
Chrisy (12:44):
Um, yeah, no, I mean, I just didn't understand why we
were still having lent without apope.
If the pope's not there,doesn't that mean that we need
to take a break and regroup?
Kerry (12:53):
you're changing the liturgical calendar based on an
actual person.
Chrisy (12:59):
Oh my god well, he's the man.
He's the man.
He's the man when people wantto get divorced in the Catholic
Church.
They got to ask him forpermission.
Kerry (13:06):
Does it really go all the way to the Pope?
I thought it did.
It doesn't.
No, it doesn't.
Chrisy (13:12):
He's cut bigger fish to fry.
Well then, who's offering allthat dispensation During Lent?
He?
Kerry (13:14):
has buried fish to fry.
Chrisy (13:22):
You got to watch because the health department doesn't
let some of those churches frythat fish because they don't
have appropriate kitchens.
Be care, make sure that theygot their little ticket from the
health department.
You don't want to eat that badfish.
I saw one church.
They were doing it out in theirgarage.
Kerry (13:34):
Some of those fish fries are really good, though.
Chrisy (13:36):
Oh, they're great yeah until you get food, poisoning we
, we really struck a nerve today.
Kerry (13:44):
All right, move, all righty.
Chrisy (13:45):
Then Chrissy's going to hell and Catholic's gone wild.
That's what I offer today,Carrie go.
Kerry (13:52):
Carrie go.
Where do I even follow up withthat?
Oh my, so fish fries are a nofor Chrissy, so we are not.
No I love them as long as theyhave the health department
license.
Chrisy (14:02):
Well, no, I don't they just you gotta just make sure
that.
Yeah, back where we're from,you have such a flipping choice
yes Of fish fries.
And when we moved where I livenow, yes, do you not have them?
here.
Yeah, I think they have them alittle bit, but bit.
But you really gotta look forthem, which is fine, yeah, but
you gotta look for them and youdon't have the variety of
(14:24):
choices that we used to have.
And I'm not generally following, not eating meat on it, I'm
done with that.
I was done with that for theflipping christmas stuff.
Kerry (14:34):
My mom was so strict on that it became.
You know how, like you weresaying, your mom changed the
rules on the the uh going to thegraveyard okay my mom, I think,
changed the rules on the nomeat on friday thing because it
used to be, yeah, during lent,no meat on friday.
Well then all of a sudden itbecame you can't eat on friday,
any day, any friday of the year,like no fridays.
(14:54):
And so she would say when shewas living with us she'd be like
, oh, I can't eat meat on friday.
I'm like mom, it's not lent, ohno, we can't eat meat on friday
so does your mother stillobserve that?
well, if she, I know she's olderyeah, she's cognitively
declining and so like shedoesn't think about it oh, over
the last, but in the last 20years or so, oh yeah oh yeah,
(15:16):
and that's what I'm saying.
It got worse.
It got to where it wasn't justduring lent, it was all every
friday.
You could never have like shewould fast all.
Not only is it don't eat meat,but you had to fast like on
fridays, like you ate verylittle on fridays yeah, but
that's like you're getting ready, man, and that's what we used
to tell her.
We're like we're like mom.
You know, once you get to acertain age, you don't have to
(15:38):
abide by that.
You know, there's a rule rightthat pope.
Chrisy (15:41):
He makes the rule.
He says if you're this old, youmade it this long, you don't
have to follow the rules anymoreshe still follows the rules.
Oh no, my, the little preciouslady upstairs that's visiting
with me right now, she, she willtell you all the rules she no
longer has to follow, as if shefollowed them in the first place
.
Now she's just trying togaslight me and make me think
(16:01):
that she was following the rulesall along.
I don't seem to remember itthat way, but okay, maybe you
were.
I can't say for sure yeah you,as you can tell from my stories,
probably wasn't paying muchattention to what they weren't
paying attention to me and,equally, here I wasn't paying
attention, was not interested,it was they.
We were perfect for each other.
I had the best parents For meFor you.
(16:22):
Yeah, hands off, hands off.
Yeah, she constantly reminds meof her age.
I don't know what the agecutoff is for following rules,
but she's been that age for aslong as I can remember.
Now I don't have to follow thatanymore.
Kerry (16:35):
But that's so funny because on the other side of the
coin, she doesn't want to livein the assisted living because
she's not old enough for that.
On the other side of the coin,she doesn't want to live in the
assisted living because she'snot old enough for that?
Chrisy (16:46):
No, yeah Well, so she uses her age when it's to her
advantage.
That's my whole life.
Just make it up as you go alongand change it whenever you want
.
Kerry (16:51):
Yeah, see, for me, religion growing up and again,
disclaimer I do love my religionand we do joke around about
things or whatever, but it'sjust because of how we grew up
that you have to find someperspective on things.
So for me it was growing up.
You know, religion was alwaysthis you had to always like how
was the words I want to say?
You could you, you weren'tallowed, you had to take it.
(17:12):
You know, you had to take.
Whatever people did to you, itwas like, you know, you couldn't
, you didn't fight back, youdidn't say anything about it,
you were if you did, you werebeing unchristian like, so you
just had to take it.
So, no matter what washappening to you, you just had
to, you know, be, be the betterperson, and just like I know
because he's Chris's favoritephrase in because otherwise you
(17:33):
were, you weren't beingChristian enough.
So you just had to.
You know, just like how theytormented Jesus, well, if you're
getting tormented, well, thenthere you go.
Good for you, you.
How they tormented Jesus, well,if you're getting tormented,
well, then there you go.
Good for you, you're doing theright thing.
And that was hard for me forthe longest time.
It took me a long time to learnto stand up for myself, and so
now, when I look at religion andhow it affected me growing up,
it does give me a differentperspective.
But I found my way in my faith,but it's definitely different
(17:56):
than how I grew up.
Chrisy (17:57):
Yes, I want to state that I do understand.
You are strong in your faith,yes, and that you were, when we
were good friends too.
I was just trying to play along, you did, you played the part,
I mean.
And my Catholic religion wasnot because my family if you can
figure anything out from thiswas into being Catholic.
(18:18):
My father became Catholic whenhe married my mother.
He was not raised Catholic.
Kerry (18:23):
Right.
Chrisy (18:23):
He had grandparents who, being Catholic, my father
became Catholic when he marriedmy mother.
He was not raised Catholic.
He had grandparents who wereCatholic, but I don't know that
my grandfather or grandmotherwere subscribers to any religion
specifically, so he becameCatholic when he was going to
marry my mom.
The reason I ended up atCatholic school I actually, in
kindergarten I did go to thepublic school in town on my side
of town for it seemed like onlyone day to me in my memory,
(18:45):
because I can only remember oneday of it.
Oh, okay, but my understandingfrom listening to other people
was it was more like a few weeks.
Oh, the reason I got placed inCatholic school wasn't because
they thought it would be lovelyto have Chrissy have a wonderful
experience in a Catholicexperience and Catholic
education.
It was because my mom and dadwork and they needed to put
(19:06):
Chrissy somewhere all dayBecause the public school only
had kindergarten half days.
Kerry (19:12):
So that's interesting, because for me actually so
because you lived on a differentside.
We lived close together, but ondifferent sides of town.
So when I went to kindergarten,I went to kindergarten at a
public school because it had allday kindergarten and my mom and
dad worked, so I had to gothere and I couldn't go to the
Catholic kindergarten becausethey only had half day.
Chrisy (19:34):
Ah, that's interesting.
Well, you were a township.
Kerry (19:37):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You were out there in thepretty townships we lived close,
but it was enough of adifference.
And then, once you know,started grade school, then it
was full time there.
Chrisy (19:46):
Yeah, no, the public school where I was assigned to
go was only half days at thattime, gotcha.
So I think it might be, I don'tknow because so many Catholic
schools where we grew up they'regone.
Yeah, they are are I thinkthere's only what like maybe
three or four maybe when therewas probably what?
12, oh, more than that, oh mygosh, just on my side of town, I
(20:11):
think we had three or four,yeah, some that I forgot existed
in one of the other episodes,when we were talking about
riding the bus.
Kerry (20:17):
I rode the bus and they picked up all the kids from the
catholic schools and theydropped them off at the
different you know differentschools so like we stopped at
two other catholic schools todrop off kids wait a minute.
Chrisy (20:28):
The bus only picked up the catholic school kids we
didn't when you're in the city.
They made you share that withsome of the public school kids.
Kerry (20:35):
Well, didn't they actually even drive the, the
public city buses, the?
Kids from our high school.
Some of the kids, their busfrom inner city was the the city
bus yeah, yeah, oh, oh, youmean, like the public
transportation?
Chrisy (20:49):
yeah, public transportation bus.
No, I did I.
No, I was still on a public uhyeah, a school approved vehicle
yellow, yellow vehicle bus typethe wheels on the bus.
Yeah, not, not, not somethingfrom the bus.
Downtown had the uh transit,public transit thing, I'm not
gonna say the name.
Yeah, yeah, yeah well itchanges from city it does, it
(21:10):
does.
Kerry (21:10):
Yeah, so did you have any other, any people with other
religions in your family?
Uh, uh, not that I can think of.
So this was like a big thing inmy family because it's
obviously Catholic.
My mom and dad were Catholic,they were raised Catholic, and
so then at some point again bigdifference in age between me and
(21:30):
my sisters and stuff, and so atone point some family members
decided to go to a differentreligion.
Ok well, this was like a hugething in our family but, it was.
It was a big problem and I wasyoung enough and even from a
young age you know again verymuch, you know how we grew up
(21:51):
with.
Our religion was very muchingrained, but I still was very
open to other like it didn't.
It didn't define me, it didn'tdefine other people, so, but
this was a big problem.
It caused a big division in thefamily because some members of
the family wanted to be thisother religion.
I never had a problem with itand I remember as a teenager,
when this was partly going on,saying to my parents why does it
(22:13):
matter?
Like, why, why does it matter?
It's okay, they're not killingpeople, they're not doing you
know, they're just followingdifferent.
And it was such a problem.
And I always stuck up for thosefamily members.
And it was recently, within thelast year, that one of those
family members came at me andthey said to me like accuse me
of, you've never.
You've always had a problemwith my religion.
(22:34):
And I'm like where are yougetting that from?
Because I'm the farthest fromlike.
I don't care what religionpeople are.
I, because I'm the farthestfrom like I don't care what
religion people are.
I really don't.
I judge you as a person and howyou act and how you are to me
and how you are to other people.
I don't care what the labelsays, you know, yeah.
So that was like really hard.
And what really got me is I'mlike, you know, all of my life
my family didn't stick up for me.
(22:55):
They didn't protect me throughall the things I've been through
being abused as a child, beingsexually abused by family
members, all these other thingsand I stuck up for them.
And then now they're accusingme of not sticking up for them
and it's like where the heck?
Oh, so frustrating.
And that's where religion,that's where I have sometimes,
(23:16):
sometimes an issue.
It's like it becomes thisdefining thing and it's like
wait, just be be yourself I lovethe fact that you said that you
don't judge people, whateverreligion they are yeah and I
don't judge anyone's religionexcept catholics, because I have
a little bit of experience withcatholics, I'm not gonna judge
(23:38):
you
Chrisy (23:38):
if you're a Presbyterian Methodist.
I grew up with some friendsthat were Methodists and I was
always fascinated with religion.
I worked for some people whowere Jewish.
That was one that was new forme and I was fascinated and I
would ask and it was not out ofdisrespect, I was curious, I was
legitimately and I would askyou know well, give me some.
And it was not out ofdisrespect, I was curious.
(23:58):
I was legitimately curious,right, because I want to know
what is the gentleman in ouroffice.
Because I worked for a companywhere we had to bring food.
Everybody just wanted to eatall the time, right, and we
would have, oh, one day a week,everybody brings in a dish.
I'm like, really, yeah, I waslike, really brings in a dish.
I'm like, really, yeah, I waslike, really young, I didn't
(24:19):
really want to cook anything andnow I gotta sign up to make
food.
And he would always, somebodywould always always bring in
baked beans.
Uh-huh, baked beans.
I don't know why.
That sounds like a horriblething to have why would you?
bring that to work, I know, buthe would always run around and
want to know who made the bakedbeans and if they were
vegetarian or not oh, and I'msitting there and the guy would
be running past my desk tentimes yelling you know the beans
(24:41):
, are they vegetarian?
And I finally went into hisoffice and said look, I don't
mean any disrespect, but why areyou so involved with why the
baked beans are vegetarian?
I mean, they're beans, aren'tthey?
I'm like I didn't understand.
I don't see any meat in there.
I didn't understand.
I don't see any meat in there.
Yeah, I didn't understand.
Yeah, because he was Jewish.
Yeah, and he was somewhatstrict, because my understanding
he explained to me was somepeople with Jewish religion
(25:06):
they're stricter and othersaren't, just like Catholics.
Kerry (25:08):
Just like any religion.
Oh yeah, Absolutely.
You have the whole gamut.
Chrisy (25:12):
But then he was telling me about the animals that they
do not.
Kerry (25:15):
Right.
Chrisy (25:15):
If you're real strict, they don't eat certain animals
with, like, split hoofs, yes, orany animals that are considered
dirty, I guess.
If they're real orthodox, Iguess they don't eat any fish.
That would be considered like abottom dweller.
Kerry (25:30):
Yes.
Chrisy (25:31):
So he gave me, which was I appreciate it.
Kerry (25:32):
It was very educational.
Chrisy (25:33):
Yes, yes.
And on the other hand, I wasworking with a guy who was very
Christian, which was fine, andhe I think I had mentioned that
I wanted to get fish during Lentand he wanted it.
I shouldn't have maybe not saidthat in front of him.
He was a little bothered at thefact that I felt I needed to
eat fish on Friday during Lentand again, it wasn't because it
(25:56):
was ingrained in me, I just knewthat I could get really good
fish on Friday during Lent and Iwas like man, I'd really like
to have some fish.
Kerry (26:01):
The restaurants do have good fish during Lent.
Chrisy (26:03):
Yes, and he wanted to explain to me that, with the New
Testament in his opinion, Iguess, or his facts or whatever
that when Jesus was given to us,the Son of God to come for us
to I don't know, work for us.
I guess I'm really stinking.
That's really interesting.
I try to learn everything fromJesus of Nazareth, the one
(26:26):
miniseries that's my favoriteshow Robert Powell.
Kerry (26:32):
Jesus of Nazareth, there we go.
Chrisy (26:34):
That's the one I recommend everybody At Easter.
I got to watch that and you say, why would you watch it?
You're not even religious.
But man, that guy puts a hellof a performance on his Jesus.
I mean he is.
He's like the picture everybodyhad on their fireplace.
That dude looks just like him.
Anyhow, he wanted to let meknow that I did not have to
follow those rules anymore andthat I was an idiot.
(26:54):
Basically he was insulting meand if I was a really hardcore
Catholic I guess I would havebeen insulted.
I was still insulted eventhough I was like dude.
Kerry (27:02):
I just want to get some quick fit Because he said yeah
when Jesus came down, was born,he took away all those rules.
Chrisy (27:10):
I said, jesus, I didn't know that you mean us idiots are
sitting here following allthese rules.
I think the Catholics have morerules than anybody.
They do have a lot of rulesBecause some religions seem to
be all hardcore Old Testament,yeah.
And then all these otherreligions are like, look, throw
that dumb book away and justfollow this nice new one.
Kerry (27:34):
Shiny new toy syndrome.
Chrisy (27:35):
I'm like Jesus, and then the Catholics we go back and
forth, tough.
Kerry (27:42):
I guess that's why there's a religion for everybody
out there, chrissy.
Chrisy (27:46):
Shoot fits every foot.
I guess I don't know what thesaying is.
Kerry (27:50):
So I will know next year that we either won't record on
Ash Wednesday or, if I do, I'llgo to service after we record.
No, I love it Because I didn'trealize this was going to cause
such a trauma.
Chrisy (28:00):
response no it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't.
I just needed I'm glad this wasa very good, because I didn't
know.
You taught me we have companiesthat make poems.
We do have companies.
Is it out of California orsomewhere warm where they get
the palms off the palm trees?
What's?
Kerry (28:15):
going on.
The place that I order from isin Arizona.
Chrisy (28:18):
Oh, they have palm trees there, oh yeah.
Kerry (28:20):
It's dry.
Chrisy (28:21):
My understanding is that palm trees need a lot of water.
Kerry (28:26):
They need water, but I don't know.
Necessarily they need a lot ofwater because there's a lot of
palms in the desert.
Chrisy (28:33):
Oh, that must be a different palm tree.
Kerry (28:34):
Well, there's all kinds of palms, there's different
types of palms, there'sdifferent types of palm trees,
there's different types of palmbushes.
It's a whole gamut, okay.
Chrisy (28:42):
Yeah, a Margaritaville palm.
Can I request?
Kerry (28:47):
those.
Yeah, I'm not sure if thatwould be the kind of palm.
I have to think about that.
Chrisy (28:54):
This might be a two-parter.
We might need to just keeptalking after we end the episode
and we can make that an extraepisode.
People want extra content.
How many weeks is Easter?
Isn't Easter like six weeks orsomething?
Oh gosh, I'm looking at you forthat answer, Carrie.
Kerry (29:06):
I think it's like six weeks.
They don't make it easy Like inLent or Advent.
You know there's four weeksbecause there's Advent 1, advent
2, advent 3, advent 4.
Chrisy (29:16):
Wait a minute.
This is like sequels, like Ironman 1, iron man.
There's Advent 1 through 4?
What if I only come to the gamefor Advent 4?
Kerry (29:27):
I gotta catch up on 1 through 3.
Chrisy (29:31):
I used to like those candles because they were pink,
and then there was a purple one,or was it all purple and one
was pink?
There you go Three purple andone was pink.
Kerry (29:38):
There you go.
I thought the candles werereally pretty Three purple and
one pink.
I like those colors, and thenthe one in the center for
Christmas was white.
There was a center candle.
Chrisy (29:48):
I didn't go to church after that.
Oh, Chrissy.
I never saw the white one.
I feel so cheated.
Well, I guess it.
I never saw the white one.
I feel so cheated.
Kerry (29:57):
Well, I guess it probably depends on the church.
But yeah, there usually is acenter, one that you light on
Christmas Cool.
Chrisy (30:04):
Yeah, I like the purple and pink ones.
Yeah.
Kerry (30:09):
Well, this was very educational.
I was thrown back into ourCatholic grade school high
school days here.
Chrisy (30:16):
Nobody got more education today than me, yeah,
but I think I scored probably aC today.
Well, then I know what letter Igot.
Alrighty well, A for effort.
Kerry (30:31):
We would like to know what you all are doing for this
time of year.
What are you giving up?
There is someone manning thehouse over there at the Vatican
would like to know what you allare doing for this time of year.
What are you giving up?
Chrisy (30:37):
there is someone, man in the cat, I mean the house over
there at the vatican.
So you guys better givesomething up and speaking,
unless he goes on vacation orsomething here.
Kerry (30:48):
Let's try this twist in speaking of giving up.
If you would like to give up afew dollars, you could.
We now have a way that you cansupport our cast, our podcast.
So we do now have a donationwhere, if you want to keep all
this great content coming at you, you can help us out.
Go to our website dysfunctionjunkiesbuzzsproutcom.
(31:11):
You can choose to give us a onetime donation or you can do a
reoccurring one.
Any little bit helps helps usto keep this great cast coming
to you.
So just check us out on ourwebsite and check us out on our
Facebook page.
We'd love to hear your storiesof Lent or Easter or whatever
religion that you follow.
Chrisy (31:29):
Yes, I would love to hear all this stuff.
Kerry (31:32):
We'd love to hear about how things affected you growing
up.
Did your family have a strictreligion?
Did it have an easygoing kindof approach to religion?
Did you have no religion?
I mean, tell us about it.
How did it affect you growingup?
We want to hear all the stories.
Chrisy (31:45):
Yes, and I need some money to get to go see Advent 1
through 3 and 4.
It's expensive at the theater.
Now I don't know if you cancatch that at the theater.
If you just want to, maybe I'lltake a picture of me next to a
candle and send it to you if youdonate.
I'm going to sneak into achurch and get near the.
Oh wait, that's Advent.
I've got to wait untilChristmas?
Kerry (32:06):
What candles do we burn for Lent?
Chrisy (32:10):
We don't have any candles, oh, but the palms.
Kerry (32:11):
I can set a palm on fire.
After Palm Sunday save theashes for next year okay, I'm
working on that.
Chrisy (32:20):
Thank you everybody.
Kerry (32:22):
All right happy lent happy lent bye.
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