May 7, 2025 • 31 mins
What happens when your birthday consistently falls near Mother's Day or Father's Day? Both hosts share how their special days were often overshadowed or completely forgotten due to holiday overlap, creating lasting impacts on how they approach celebrations.
Kerry's visceral anxiety around her birthday stems from childhood disappointments, manifesting in a coping mechanism of planning her own getaways to avoid potential hurt. Her story resonates with anyone who's ever felt invisible on the one day meant to celebrate them.
The conversation takes a thoughtful turn when examining how childhood experiences shape our adult birthday expectations. Chrisy realizes her parents essentially provided a "high-end hotel" experience with all material needs met but limited emotional engagement, while Kerry grew up as a "parentized child" taking care of herself from an early age. These contrasting upbringings created very different relationships with birthdays and celebrations.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
DJ Nick (00:08):
Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies Podcast.
We may not have seen it all,but we've seen enough.
And now here are your hosts,chrissy and Keri.
Kerry (00:21):
Hello Junkies, I'm Kerry
Chrisy (00:24):
and I'm Chrissy
Kerry (00:32):
Well, today, we thought we'd talk about another great
family time of togetherness.
Birthdays, yay, yay.
So my birthday's in May,chrisy's birthday's in June, and
each of our birthdaysrespectively fall very close to
Mother's Day and Father's Day,so it just seemed only fitting
that this would be a great timeto talk about the birthday
events.
Chrisy (00:53):
Yes.
Kerry (00:53):
Chrisy go.
Chrisy (00:55):
Yes, my birthday is in June.
I love a birthday in June.
I love it, and here's whyChristmas was six months ago.
Yes, now I got a birthday, soI'm getting hit great with gifts
twice a year and it's enough tobe able to like, basically, you
know, reflect on what you gotat Christmas so that you know
what you need to ask for, demandfor for your birthday.
(01:19):
So that time period, I mean, Ijust I think it's perfect.
Kerry (01:23):
My opinion only.
I agree, I always do feel badfor people whose birthdays are
at Christmastime, like I do.
I feel bad.
My dad's birthday was like acouple of days before Christmas
and I always did.
I was like, oh, that's kind ofsad.
Like how do you, how do youdifferentiate that?
Chrisy (01:38):
So but I bet those people who do have birthdays
close to Christmas, I could seewhere there might be some.
Just imagine your birthday iscelebrated with so many lights
and decorations and I mean it'swonderful.
You can sort of almost go outand say look, look, what's for
me.
I mean, you know.
Kerry (01:55):
Yeah, but then you're going to get people that are
going to go well, I'm going togive you one, one gift.
Chrisy (01:59):
That's your Christmas and your birthday gift or
something You're going tocombine it Well, if it was me,
I'd have to really analyze andI'd have to say okay now, if it
was just Christmas we werecelebrating and you got me this,
I mean it's going to have toreally be judged on my opinion
that you did make up for thefact that we're sharing two type
of big events for me in thesame slot, you know.
Kerry (02:22):
How did your family handle birthdays?
Were they a big?
Chrisy (02:24):
deal.
No, no, not really.
I mean when I was little I hadbirthday parties, but to be
honest, I really don't rememberbirthday parties with like
family real well.
Yeah there's some photography,photographic evidence of this.
I don't really recall thesebirthday parties where I had
aunts and maybe cousins there,but I think that pretty much
(02:49):
ended, probably when I was,probably even before I was 10.
Yeah, I think some of that hadto do with the passing of my
grandmother to some extent.
There's like that one family,usually a grandparent Right who
really ties those two sides ofthe family together.
Kerry (03:05):
Gotcha yeah.
Chrisy (03:06):
The sibling.
You know your parents, siblingsand cousin and sort of once
that piece falls out of thepuzzle, right Things become
brittle.
It's not like we were on badterms.
Kerry (03:17):
No, but that was the glue .
Chrisy (03:19):
It's early on, after somebody passes away, like that,
it's hard to get togetherbecause then there's that
missing spot, right, right, andthen after you sort of follow
that thing, it's hard to sort ofget rolling again.
So this isn't anything thatmakes me hostile or anything.
It just it was what it was, mybirthday being in the summer,
yours also right on the brink ofsummer.
DJ Nick (03:42):
I guess, your spring summer.
Chrisy (03:43):
Right on the brink of summer I guess spring summer
when we had a swimming pool, myparents pretty much left it up
to me to organize and do my ownbirthday and generally that
meant just having friends around.
Kerry (03:58):
Oh, okay, yeah, our family, we and I think this is
where I get it from I like tomake a big deal out of people's
birthdays, and I think because,definitely in the early years,
my mom always made a big dealout of our birthdays, so we
always, it was always somethingspecial.
First of all, we always got topick where we wanted to go eat,
because we didn't get to go outto eat much.
Now, granted, for the longesttime, that might have just been
McDonald's.
DJ Nick (04:17):
That was a big deal, that was a big deal for us.
Kerry (04:19):
You know we would have parties, you know like the kids
parties and everything.
And then it started fallingapart, like where it wasn't such
a big deal.
When I started getting intohigh school, you know, I think
my mom and dad there'sdefinitely something changed.
They were on different paths, Idon't know.
It was like there was just meleft at home and they were both
working and I don't know, it'sjust all.
(04:39):
My sisters were moved out ofway.
So it was a little different.
Birthdays were kind of a bigdeal and so I definitely like to
make a big deal out of people'sbirthdays.
My thing is you celebratesomebody's birthday on the
birthday, like on the day.
So like this oh, your birthdayis on Thursday, we're going to
take you out for dinner onSaturday.
No, Thursday is the birthday.
You celebrate it on thebirthday, Like that's kind of
(05:01):
strict.
Well, that's the day Now.
I'm all for making it aweek-long celebration.
Don't get me wrong on that.
You can continue thecelebration, but there has to be
something on the birthday.
Well.
Chrisy (05:15):
I do believe that on the date, of the birth, uh, the
person.
You have to have a cake, yes,and you have some sort of cake
right with a candle, somethingwith fire shooting off the top
of it that you have to put outwith your breath.
Kerry (05:34):
Yes, that is required on your birth on right, and that's
what I mean.
I'm totally fine if we do thecake and stuff on the birthday,
but we're gonna maybe live it upon the weekend because whatever
it sees, I'm 100% with you onthat.
But there has to beacknowledgement and celebration
of some problems in the dynamicsof family and other kids
getting older now having theirown families, like with nieces
(05:57):
and nephews, and they're havingkids.
Chrisy (06:13):
And now we have even more birthdays.
Like, my side is really justnot involved in this, because I
don't have a big family, andNick he does have many sisters
that he is in communication withall the time, which is great,
and I have a superstition.
Here's another one.
Sometimes I think my mindbecause I was exposed to so many
(06:35):
baloney superstitions, I createnew ones for myself, and I
don't even know that anybodyever told me this or why I think
this.
I can't celebrate my kids'birthdays prior to their
birthday.
Kerry (06:47):
Oh, okay.
Chrisy (06:47):
For some reason.
To me that is bad.
It's almost like you'reexposing yourself, saying, yes,
I definitely this is dark man,oh God.
We're getting dark right now.
I feel like if you're like, yes, my birthday is not until next
week, it's convenient foreverybody to celebrate it now.
And then I dropped dead becauseI said well, I already
(07:08):
celebrated my birthday.
So, like fate or the gods orwhoever controls karma, says
well, you already celebratedyour birthday.
This is a good time to strikeyou down dead, so you don't
celebrate anything prior to it.
My goal always is to make it tothat event.
Birthdays anniversaries.
Kerry (07:28):
So if you were going to throw your kids a birthday party
, then you would need to do iton a weekend.
For convenience you would do itthe weekend after not the
weekend before.
So even if their birthday wasMonday, you wouldn't have the
birthday the Sunday before.
DJ Nick (07:41):
Hell.
No, it would have to be oh thatgood, I can respect that.
Chrisy (07:45):
I can totally respect that, and you know, if their
birthday happens to fall on theweekend, bonus, yeah, but no, it
either has to be their birthdayyeah, actually, or the time
afterwards.
Kerry (07:57):
Okay, no celebrating prior None I have no problems
with that.
That celebrating prior None, Ihave no problems with that.
That, to me, makes total sense.
And again, you're acknowledgingon the birthday something, so
you're having the cake orsomething, even if it's just you
guys, your intimate family, onthat day, right?
Chrisy (08:14):
And it usually is just the, you know, mom, with my kids
, it's just us.
Yeah, you know, but yeah, youhave to.
Kerry (08:21):
I have such a juxtaposition about birthdays
because, as much as I love themand I want to make a big deal
out of them and I do make a bigdeal out of other people's
birthdays and everything thereis a part of me that has huge
anxiety about my birthday.
Chrisy (08:37):
Now, why is that?
Kerry (08:38):
I think it's because it was forgotten one too many times
by people.
Chrisy (08:42):
Oh, my God, You're like the opening of 16 candles.
You mean people actually flipand forgot your birthday.
Yes, parents, yes, oh, myCarrie, jesus, god, this is
terrible and Carrie go.
Kerry (08:55):
I want to hear it.
Well, I should say it's maybenot so much that they forgot,
but it got overshadowed becauseof Mother's Day.
So many times my birthday fallson the exact same day as
Mother's Day.
Chrisy (09:11):
As mine does with Father's Day.
Kerry (09:12):
Gonna happen this year?
Oh, is it?
It's gonna happen this year.
So what happens is you knowwhat would happen is they would,
oh, like the Christmasbirthdays and the Christmas
thing put it all together.
Oh well, we'll just do one.
We'll celebrate Mother's Dayand Carrie's birthday all at the
same time, and then it getsovershadowed.
And then as you get older, youknow again big age gap in the
(09:36):
family from me and the siblings,and then it was just you know
us at home, or oh, we hadMother's Day.
Oh yeah, I forgot that Carrie'sbirthday is the next day.
There would be like this nomention of you.
Yeah, or it would be a lastminute, like all of a sudden at
bedtime.
Oh my gosh, we forgot it wasyour birthday.
I thought it was yeah, andsorry, Jim, I'm going to call
(10:00):
you out on this one.
Chrisy (10:01):
No no, no, carrie, yeah, don't even do this In his
defense.
Kerry (10:07):
I think it was the very first year we were together, but
we had been together for almosta year by the time my birthday
rolled around and he didn't.
He forgot it was my birthday,oh my God.
And so that just already havingthose you like I don't know how
do you say birthday abandonmentissues, I get this anxiety
(10:30):
because it's like, and then, asI've gotten older, I feel like I
would have to plan my own eventokay I get this anxiety of like
see, oh my god, do you see me?
I just took a deep, yes you'rehaving you're definitely having
a reaction, so it's like yourface is red.
I know, oh my god, I know thisis what I'm saying.
(10:51):
I want to celebrate it and Iwant to be celebrated, but I'm
afraid people won't celebrate itor they'll forget.
My response to that is then Iwill plan my own getaway and we
will often go away, because Ifeel like if I leave, then if
people forget or they don't doanything or don't reach out,
it's OK because I wasn'tavailable.
So I'm giving you know, I'mcreating a pass for people.
(11:13):
I know it's it's sodysfunctional.
Chrisy (11:15):
Yeah that's.
I know a lot of trouble to gothrough to accommodate other
people's shortcomings, toprotect myself accommodate other
people's shortcomings toprotect myself.
Kerry (11:26):
But so for my 50th birthday a few years ago it was
like months before my 50thbirthday I started having this
huge anxiety about my birthday.
And it wasn't about turning 50,but it was the fact that it was
my 50th birthday and I was soafraid that I'm like okay, what
if this is another year whereit's forgotten or underplayed or
not played or whatever.
And that's almost as bad too.
When the people celebrate yourbirthday because they feel they
(11:47):
have to, like it's an obligation, like to me, it's just as bad.
I know I'm so, I'm so messed upabout this.
So what I did was I went to Jimand I said I'm just going to ask
you now and the answer iscompletely okay.
I said have you given anythought about what you're going
to do in three months for my50th birthday?
And he kind of looked at melike there was no right answer
(12:09):
for him.
So he was like I'm going to becompletely honest.
No, I have not given a thought.
And I'm like that's okay.
I got it and I planned this bigtrip to Jamaica.
We went to Jamaica and I saidI'm okay with that.
You didn't plan anythingbecause it is still three months
away.
I'm saving you and I'm savingme.
So we planned a trip, and thenour friends went with us too,
but I will often escape on mybirthday, and it's purely a
(12:33):
defense tachyonism, yeah.
Chrisy (12:34):
Wow, I know, talk about dysfunction.
Is that not dysfunctional?
Kerry (12:39):
Well, yeah, so in the same token is what you dealt
(13:04):
with as far as celebratinggenerally Mother's Day with your
birthday on certain years whenit fell that way, but it's so
weird because as much attentionas my father generally demanded.
Chrisy (13:08):
Yeah, and maybe I was just sort of the same, I also
demanded as much, and they sortof canceled each other out.
The apple didn't fall far fromthe tree.
No, not at all.
Remembering back then I don'tremember really feeling shorted
or underplayed, Because I thinkearly on it was basically just
my understanding that you know,yes, you can invite over whoever
you want, how many people youwant, and go swimming, and I
would usually request what Iwanted there generally pizza or
(13:30):
are we ordering something?
And I would generally tell themwhat I wanted as far as a cake
and that was provided.
So it was sort of like just tokeep you planned your own stuff,
though.
Well, I guess I kind of didAgain.
Again, it was pretty much likethat whole thing where I talk
about, where they just basicallyjust give her whatever she
wants and then we don't payattention anymore yeah and it
(13:53):
was easy for them just to sayyes, you got friends here.
That means I don't need to focuson you for anything.
I got food here for you, notgonna be going without, and
we'll supply food for yourfriends Snacks, drinks, whatever
.
Cake yeah, I'll get you abeautiful cake.
It'll be here ready to go.
Ice cream, whatever.
And then generally I don't evenremember them being home.
(14:14):
Wow, Really, I probably shouldhave taken more advantage as I
got old.
I did actually.
You know, things got a littlecrazy later on and again they
were the perfect parents for me.
Yeah, Because I have nohostility that I know of, for
that you know.
Kerry (14:30):
Yeah, I can't say I have hostility, but it manifests
itself in anxiety.
Chrisy (14:36):
There's something going on there.
There's something, because youcan see the physical reaction
right.
Yeah, that was physical.
I thought you were going tomaybe turn into like a
transformer.
You were really upset.
I was going to start crying orturn green, I don't know.
Kerry (14:53):
I think it really stems from this whole thing of you
know I grew, you know I don'tknow if you've heard this, the
phrase about the parent,parentized child I think that's
how they say it Parentized child, it's basically where you know
the child grows up taking careof themselves or their parents.
And I feel like in a lot ofways that was me, because, you
know, again, I remember first,second grade.
(15:13):
I would get up for school on myown.
I'd have to iron my own uniform, I'd have to pack my own lunch,
I would wake my mom up so shewould watch me go out the door
and so she was watching me atthe end of the driveway to make
sure no one stole me while I waswaiting for the bus at the end
of the driveway.
But I did all of that.
I then come home from school noparent home, so I was taking
(15:35):
care.
So I grew up with this having totake care of myself in a lot of
ways and also, therefore, wasnot protected.
You know we talked about beforedifferent abuse and things that
happened.
I wasn't protected.
It's, I think it's kind of allof that stems together and here
you have this great occasion andthen to be forgotten about, or
the sideshow again.
(15:56):
It just creates all of thistotally dysfunction around one
silly day of the year.
So I am a hot mess in thebeginning of May around my
birthday and the other thingthat gets me is I know people
that know this about me will tryto protect me, so they'll want
to think they're doing a goodthing by.
Okay, I know you really wantthis particular person to
remember.
At your birthday today.
(16:17):
People will try to remind thatperson and I'm always like I'm
on to it.
I know it's like don't you tellthem to remind them about my
birthday?
Like I know I let them hurt meand forget.
I would rather have that thanyou remind them.
And then I get the call becausethey have to.
You know what I mean.
You know you're looking at mewith such no I.
Chrisy (16:35):
to be honest, what I'm thinking right now is I better
goddamn make sure I have yourbirthday on my calendar.
I'm going to put posters up inmy room.
I'm going to have my phone gooff all day Because I knew, I
always remember it being in Mayand I know.
No, I feel I don't even want totell you the date.
(16:56):
I know when it is.
That's it.
I'm just going to.
Kerry (16:59):
You can say the date because I already said, this
year it's going to happen onMother's Day.
Chrisy (17:03):
But I don't know when Mother's Day is.
Do you think that I'm that intune to that?
Then I got to deal with theparent.
Come on, is it the?
Kerry (17:12):
14th no.
Chrisy (17:15):
I didn't say that I didn't come out.
It was more of a noise in theback of my throat.
It's in the middle of the monthbefore the middle.
Kerry (17:24):
Oh, it's the 12th.
I'm totally letting you no.
Chrisy (17:27):
The 11th, yes oh my God, what am I just writing on my
paper?
Huge May 11th.
It's the same day as my sister.
Please don't tell me.
You know when mine is.
Kerry (17:38):
June 17th God.
Chrisy (17:39):
But everybody knows that date because it's the same day
as the Watergate break-in.
Kerry (17:43):
I have no idea what that reference is.
The the watergate mcnixon.
I was born on the exact sameday as that watergate break-in.
Oh well, I was.
Chrisy (17:54):
I was a month and oh, six days old.
Yeah, I remember that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now everybody celebrateswatergate, don't they?
Kerry (17:59):
no, nobody does anymore, okay you know how I remember,
though how now I remember andcorrelate your birthday, but I
knew what your birthday was isbecause that's our wedding
anniversary there.
That's why you were no but Iknew it from before.
Chrisy (18:13):
But I'm just saying, that's how you planned the day
you were exactly, becauseeverything revolves around
chrissy see, now I got to sharemy birthday with that too, and
well, my dad's deceased.
So that's, that problem wastaken out of the equation, but
it was never a problem.
You, as you were talking, Ifinally realized what my
situation was, growing up withmy parents what, and everybody
(18:34):
would have wished they were me,which I always felt anyhow.
Kerry (18:37):
What is that?
Chrisy (18:38):
I basically had the life like I lived in a high end
hotel.
Oh, yeah, you did.
My clothes were washed.
Yeah, my shirts were ironed forme.
Yeah, my skirt was pressed forme.
Yes, my shirts were ironed forme.
My skirt was pressed for me.
My clothes were laid out andpurchased for me, my meals were
already made and waiting for me.
There was no need for anybodyto be there.
All my wants and needs werecared for.
I had a room that had a VCR,cable, stereo system, all my
(19:03):
stupid crap in it, and there wasnothing I needed or wanted.
No, you didn't.
I must have had the best here.
I thought they were lousyparents.
I'm going to have to retirefrom the podcast now.
I haven't noticed they werelike the best.
Chrissy has this enlightenmentBecause I never really wanted to
have any time with them.
Right, I just wanted, I wanted.
(19:23):
I'm a child of need.
I still am.
I'm a big child of need.
I want, I want, but yes, so Iam so grateful.
Kerry (19:37):
Good for you.
Chrisy (19:38):
I am feeling horrible.
Kerry (19:39):
So you call, call Jano today and tell her your to one
Mother's Day.
You'll be able to say to her,you'll be able to have something
to be grateful for.
I'll get her a couple extraflowers this year.
Okay, there you go, oh my gosh.
Chrisy (19:51):
Wow, now some people, though.
Let's talk about these types.
What, unless you were going tohave another?
No we can go on.
I am totally opposed to peopleas adults having birthday big
bashes Now for milestonebirthdays.
I'm not going to crap on thatGotcha, but every goddamn year
(20:12):
and I know again these people Idon't think listen, and I don't
care if you do, I'm not shyabout this.
DJ Nick (20:17):
Yes.
Chrisy (20:18):
I'm 50 years old now.
You're not going to cause meany heartache.
Why do we have to celebrateyour birthday every year like
you're a child?
You mean, like sisters, theylove their birthday the one
sister like sisters, they lovetheir birthday the one sister
birthday month.
She has stuff scheduled everyweekend, but people love her.
Hey, it speaks volumes aboutwho you are.
(20:38):
Yeah, the people love you thatmuch they want to celebrate your
birthday.
Oh, goddamn monthCongratulations.
You've obviously been kind andgiving your whole life that
these people still wanted tocelebrate you to the flipping
limits.
Yeah, not me, I don't care.
I'm thrilled that you even knewmy birthday and I'm thrilled
(21:00):
that you got married on mybirthday and I love you for it.
But I don't and I get agitated.
I'm glad we kind of live faraway.
They send us the text.
We're going to have so-and-so'sbirthday celebration at my
house and they usually will sendyou the menu so you know what
you're eating.
Oh well, that's good and youcan't even get away with that.
I always like why don't we goout to a restaurant?
(21:22):
We're all adults, especiallybefore I had kids.
No, they have.
No, they're not allowed thatsomebody has to go out of their
way to have it at their home, ohbut not the birthday person's
home?
okay, they're not doing anythingthat day.
I like that cleaning, I likethey're not going to clean up
after I'm not making one damndish I like that, and then the
dip sister has to bring dip, ofcourse, but they have someone
(21:47):
has to prep the meal and they'renot give them credit.
They go all out with the meal.
Kerry (21:53):
I mean, it's like a holiday can I be part of your
family, nick?
Chrisy (21:57):
oh, they'll love it, as long as you're going to
acknowledge their birthday.
Kerry (21:59):
I mean don't come empty-handed, as long as they,
as long as it's give and take oh, that's what I want.
Chrisy (22:04):
Oh well, yeah, oh yeah, once you get on their schedule,
let me think, is your birthdayin?
Uh, well, it's close to one ofthe other siblings you got to
watch with that, so they have awhole meal.
And then I was like, well, whycan't you guys just buy a cake?
God damn it.
Why does somebody have to makea cake?
That's such crap.
There's so many places you canget a great cake.
Someone has to, usually abanana nut cake.
(22:32):
What's wrong with that?
I don't know who birthday?
No banana nut cake.
I know you are the winner blueribbon winner of banana nut
bread and nick is on board withthat.
But as much as he likes banananut, bread.
Kerry (22:39):
He don't want a banana.
Chrisy (22:40):
I don't think he also is oh, it's not just.
Kerry (22:42):
It's always a banana cake , not for everybody.
Okay, I was gonna say no, it'sit's whatever sister, with the
sister once and I okay onesister in particular loves
always like okay, well then,there's nothing wrong with that
no, it's their day but again I'mthinking so every year.
Chrisy (22:58):
It's a big deal.
And then one time a few times,this came up.
I kind of got mad because theyall had their designated months
for their birthday and their day, that we're going to celebrate
it.
And then my husband's birthdayand his one, his oldest sister's
birthday, are close, as far asnot year, of course, because
(23:18):
there's like almost 12 yearsbetween them, but where his is
in January, hers is in December.
Okay, she's at the end, he'ssort of at the beginning, sort
of not so much, but close.
Kerry (23:29):
Do they do the same day party?
Chrisy (23:31):
Well, when we would bring it up, because two of his
other sisters have, one in Apriland one in May, uh-huh, and
they would never combine those.
Kerry (23:40):
I really like your family , Nick.
Chrisy (23:50):
But because we went into the holiday lag for that
December-January mix thatsometimes they would say we're
going to combine, we're going totack on Nick's birthday with
so-and-so's birthday.
Yeah, and I used to be likelook, we just went through all
that.
We used to go through all thistrouble with special meals
designated for special thingsand you're going to do this to
my husband.
Kerry (24:03):
No, that's wrong.
DJ Nick (24:05):
They've been combining the other ones lately.
Chrisy (24:07):
Well, because everybody's getting old man,
they've been combining the otherones lately, because everyone's
getting old man.
DJ Nick (24:09):
Nobody wants to do all this crap, but you know I don't
want to say too much, but I justwant to say this Sunday, have a
happy birthday aww, thank you,nick, get out of here.
Chrisy (24:20):
Go sit over there.
I'm going to buy her somethingnice.
One time I bought Carrie aWheel of Fortune watch she did.
Kerry (24:27):
I love that watch.
It was the best.
It was like a swatch watch, butit was wheel of fortune yeah
and oh, I loved I had it for theboyfriend at the time.
He did not like it they broughther something cool, cooler than
he could get me well, we're not, I know, because he didn't get
you the wheel of fortune right.
Chrisy (24:47):
that's why you and I are sitting here today this is true
.
Kerry (24:52):
So what other traditions do you have?
Do you have any special songsor anything other than the
traditional birthday song?
Do you do anything else?
You know how you were talking.
Chrisy (25:00):
Oh my God, she brought up the song thing.
I'm going to have to talk aboutthe song thing.
Kerry (25:06):
Do you have the family?
Chrisy (25:07):
song thing, no, well, no , I won't forget this.
So you tell us about your song.
No, you go first.
Kerry (25:11):
All right, crissy go, crissy go.
Chrisy (25:14):
So I am traditional, which is you think some of this
crazy can't be.
DJ Nick (25:19):
But the happy birthday song.
Chrisy (25:21):
Yeah, happy birthday, that's enough.
Now, if you happen to be at arestaurant, I know like
sometimes, if you go to aMexican restaurant, they sing
you their version of HappyBirthday.
Awesome, that's fine.
Because you're at a restaurant,yeah, but when you're at home
with family, happy birthday song, traditional, that's it.
That is it One song?
DJ Nick (25:44):
Now.
Chrisy (25:45):
Nick's family because again they got to go all out, or
whatever the hell you want tocall this.
They have three goddamn songsthey have to sing before you can
blow out your candles.
And my kids for the longesttime were so confused because
they know we just sing one songand then you blow, and so they'd
be sitting at the table and wewould sing the song and then
they start into a new song.
(26:05):
So then the kid has to back offthe candle.
So then after the second songthey're like, okay, I'm gonna go
.
no, now there's another song oh,this is great and I'd be like,
oh my god, and it was so hard,because kids are excited, they
want both the cameras, becausethen generally they're going to
open their presents, yeah, butwe got to go through this whole
thing, yeah, so generally, youknow, it's just in rebellion I
(26:27):
would generally not sing theother two songs, even though the
words were very simple and Iknew them.
I'm like you know what I'm?
Just I'm, I'm rebelling, I'mnot singing your songs.
You're not singing the song andI ain't eating the dip, I don't
even know I'm not even I'm notexplaining dip and I'm not
singing three songs, so did havethat growing up.
I'm just curious we what they?
I think they started all thisstuff when I finally got into
(26:50):
his life, just to be irritating.
He doesn't even remember any ofthis dj nick go what's the
songs?
DJ Nick (26:57):
so the second song is it's basically using the same
melody as a happy birthday song,but it's.
Chrisy (27:01):
May the dear lord bless you oh okay, I've heard that
okay yeah, then the last song iswe wish you a happy birthday, A
very happy birthday.
We wish you a happy birthday.
Happy birthday to you.
Kerry (27:15):
And then somebody usually says or something afterwards,
and it's just like I have noproblem with that.
Chrisy (27:23):
Carrie, it's too much.
DJ Nick (27:26):
I think they added the you know may the dear Lord,
bless you to try to cancelChristy's reservation in hell.
Kerry (27:35):
They're sending.
That's their gift to you.
Chrisy (27:37):
They never sing that to me.
You know why?
Because I never have a damnbirthday party.
Kerry (27:45):
So our family and we do this and and we love everyone
really loves it.
And when we do it, when there'sget togethers and there's not
just family and there's outsidepeople, other people, friends or
whatever it always catcheseveryone off guard, but they
love it.
But the good thing is it'safter the candle, so you don't
have to wait.
So we do the traditionalbirthday song.
Right, the person blows out thecandle and when they blow out
(28:08):
the candle we start.
So Right, the person blows outthe candle and when they blow
out the candle we start.
So I'll use your name.
So today is Chrissy's birthday,birthday birthday.
Today is Chrissy's birthday.
We count the years away andthen we clap the years and the
age of the person.
So one, two, three, four, five,six, until you get to their age
.
Chrisy (28:23):
So it's great, it gets the kids, everything going Well,
it's really funny whenever likelast year, my mom's 85th
birthday party we started this,so it got really.
You couldn't do it by 10.
Kerry (28:33):
No, you don't do it by 10 you gotta count the years and
usually the funny thing is thelonger it is, the older the
person is.
When you get to the longernumbers you're like 77, 78, like
you drag it out.
You know it's like that bottlesof beer song, it is kind of
like that.
Yes, yes, but it's fun and weenjoy it.
But it's always, I love, whenwe're in a mixed crowd and we do
that.
(28:53):
We just everyone just starts inbecause you'll see the people.
But that don't know, they'll belike wait, what's happening,
what's happening here?
And then they, oh, oh, this isfun.
And they start clapping andjoining in.
Chrisy (29:03):
So, yeah, the, that is our birthday okay, I would be
standing there completely offguard now that you're doing this
Probably annoyed, fairlyquickly.
Kerry (29:12):
Probably.
Chrisy (29:12):
And then I'd have to turn to Nick or somebody and say
, okay, wait, remind me again.
How old is this person, whatnumber?
Kerry (29:18):
are we counting to?
How long am I going to?
Because I'm going to loseinterest real quick and get
sidetracked and stop, I'm gladyou love it, so that's why I
have no problem with nick'ssongs I guess I should
appreciate that, because I don'tknow how I feel about the
clapping the key, though, isit's after the blowout of the
candles, so you only have thebirthday song, the blowout, and
(29:40):
then that goes into the nextsong.
Chrisy (29:41):
So you don't have to wait, you know but if I showed
up at the party late and I justgot there when you were doing
the cake thing but I I haven'teaten yet, oh, I'm going to get
very hostile Because I'm really.
I'm like, okay, I'm sorry I'mlate, I know you guys kind of
everybody already ate, butthere's still food here for me.
Yeah, let's do the cake, and Iwant to get over there to eat.
Kerry (29:58):
Yeah.
Chrisy (29:58):
And now you're doing this which takes like 10 minutes
and I'm starving and thethey're starting to put it away
and I'm like put the food awayOnce they finish this BS.
Over here I'm chowing down.
So wow, wow, congrats on that.
Kerry (30:15):
I guess I don't know what to say.
Well, that was fun.
Maybe, maybe, hopefully, thisyear I won't have so much
anxiety about my birthday.
Chrisy (30:24):
No, I've got to.
The week is early, I do, theweek is early I have anxiety,
because I feel like I'm going tohave to make up for every lousy
ass that didn't do what theywere supposed to do.
Damn, oh my.
Kerry (30:39):
Well, we want to hear your family's birthday.
Horror stories, happy stories,songs, traditions, whatever it
is, or how they relate toMother's day, father's day,
those type of things or otherholidays, or other holidays yes
let us know, check us out on ourfacebook page and then, as
always, please be sure to hitthat like or follow or subscribe
button on whatever streamingcast, that you're listening to
(31:02):
us too, and we look forward toseeing you next week.
Chrisy (31:05):
Bye-bye happy birthday, carrie.
Thank you, week bye-bye.
Happy birthday, carrie.
Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies Podcast.
We may not have seen it all,but we've seen enough.
And now here are your hosts,chrissy and Keri.
Kerry (00:21):
Hello Junkies, I'm Kerry
Chrisy (00:24):
and I'm Chrissy
Kerry (00:32):
Well, today, we thought we'd talk about another great
family time of togetherness.
Birthdays, yay, yay.
So my birthday's in May,chrisy's birthday's in June, and
each of our birthdaysrespectively fall very close to
Mother's Day and Father's Day,so it just seemed only fitting
that this would be a great timeto talk about the birthday
events.
Chrisy (00:53):
Yes.
Kerry (00:53):
Chrisy go.
Chrisy (00:55):
Yes, my birthday is in June.
I love a birthday in June.
I love it, and here's whyChristmas was six months ago.
Yes, now I got a birthday, soI'm getting hit great with gifts
twice a year and it's enough tobe able to like, basically, you
know, reflect on what you gotat Christmas so that you know
what you need to ask for, demandfor for your birthday.
(01:19):
So that time period, I mean, Ijust I think it's perfect.
Kerry (01:23):
My opinion only.
I agree, I always do feel badfor people whose birthdays are
at Christmastime, like I do.
I feel bad.
My dad's birthday was like acouple of days before Christmas
and I always did.
I was like, oh, that's kind ofsad.
Like how do you, how do youdifferentiate that?
Chrisy (01:38):
So but I bet those people who do have birthdays
close to Christmas, I could seewhere there might be some.
Just imagine your birthday iscelebrated with so many lights
and decorations and I mean it'swonderful.
You can sort of almost go outand say look, look, what's for
me.
I mean, you know.
Kerry (01:55):
Yeah, but then you're going to get people that are
going to go well, I'm going togive you one, one gift.
Chrisy (01:59):
That's your Christmas and your birthday gift or
something You're going tocombine it Well, if it was me,
I'd have to really analyze andI'd have to say okay now, if it
was just Christmas we werecelebrating and you got me this,
I mean it's going to have toreally be judged on my opinion
that you did make up for thefact that we're sharing two type
of big events for me in thesame slot, you know.
Kerry (02:22):
How did your family handle birthdays?
Were they a big?
Chrisy (02:24):
deal.
No, no, not really.
I mean when I was little I hadbirthday parties, but to be
honest, I really don't rememberbirthday parties with like
family real well.
Yeah there's some photography,photographic evidence of this.
I don't really recall thesebirthday parties where I had
aunts and maybe cousins there,but I think that pretty much
(02:49):
ended, probably when I was,probably even before I was 10.
Yeah, I think some of that hadto do with the passing of my
grandmother to some extent.
There's like that one family,usually a grandparent Right who
really ties those two sides ofthe family together.
Kerry (03:05):
Gotcha yeah.
Chrisy (03:06):
The sibling.
You know your parents, siblingsand cousin and sort of once
that piece falls out of thepuzzle, right Things become
brittle.
It's not like we were on badterms.
Kerry (03:17):
No, but that was the glue .
Chrisy (03:19):
It's early on, after somebody passes away, like that,
it's hard to get togetherbecause then there's that
missing spot, right, right, andthen after you sort of follow
that thing, it's hard to sort ofget rolling again.
So this isn't anything thatmakes me hostile or anything.
It just it was what it was, mybirthday being in the summer,
yours also right on the brink ofsummer.
DJ Nick (03:42):
I guess, your spring summer.
Chrisy (03:43):
Right on the brink of summer I guess spring summer
when we had a swimming pool, myparents pretty much left it up
to me to organize and do my ownbirthday and generally that
meant just having friends around.
Kerry (03:58):
Oh, okay, yeah, our family, we and I think this is
where I get it from I like tomake a big deal out of people's
birthdays, and I think because,definitely in the early years,
my mom always made a big dealout of our birthdays, so we
always, it was always somethingspecial.
First of all, we always got topick where we wanted to go eat,
because we didn't get to go outto eat much.
Now, granted, for the longesttime, that might have just been
McDonald's.
DJ Nick (04:17):
That was a big deal, that was a big deal for us.
Kerry (04:19):
You know we would have parties, you know like the kids
parties and everything.
And then it started fallingapart, like where it wasn't such
a big deal.
When I started getting intohigh school, you know, I think
my mom and dad there'sdefinitely something changed.
They were on different paths, Idon't know.
It was like there was just meleft at home and they were both
working and I don't know, it'sjust all.
(04:39):
My sisters were moved out ofway.
So it was a little different.
Birthdays were kind of a bigdeal and so I definitely like to
make a big deal out of people'sbirthdays.
My thing is you celebratesomebody's birthday on the
birthday, like on the day.
So like this oh, your birthdayis on Thursday, we're going to
take you out for dinner onSaturday.
No, Thursday is the birthday.
You celebrate it on thebirthday, Like that's kind of
(05:01):
strict.
Well, that's the day Now.
I'm all for making it aweek-long celebration.
Don't get me wrong on that.
You can continue thecelebration, but there has to be
something on the birthday.
Well.
Chrisy (05:15):
I do believe that on the date, of the birth, uh, the
person.
You have to have a cake, yes,and you have some sort of cake
right with a candle, somethingwith fire shooting off the top
of it that you have to put outwith your breath.
Kerry (05:34):
Yes, that is required on your birth on right, and that's
what I mean.
I'm totally fine if we do thecake and stuff on the birthday,
but we're gonna maybe live it upon the weekend because whatever
it sees, I'm 100% with you onthat.
But there has to beacknowledgement and celebration
of some problems in the dynamicsof family and other kids
getting older now having theirown families, like with nieces
(05:57):
and nephews, and they're havingkids.
Chrisy (06:13):
And now we have even more birthdays.
Like, my side is really justnot involved in this, because I
don't have a big family, andNick he does have many sisters
that he is in communication withall the time, which is great,
and I have a superstition.
Here's another one.
Sometimes I think my mindbecause I was exposed to so many
(06:35):
baloney superstitions, I createnew ones for myself, and I
don't even know that anybodyever told me this or why I think
this.
I can't celebrate my kids'birthdays prior to their
birthday.
Kerry (06:47):
Oh, okay.
Chrisy (06:47):
For some reason.
To me that is bad.
It's almost like you'reexposing yourself, saying, yes,
I definitely this is dark man,oh God.
We're getting dark right now.
I feel like if you're like, yes, my birthday is not until next
week, it's convenient foreverybody to celebrate it now.
And then I dropped dead becauseI said well, I already
(07:08):
celebrated my birthday.
So, like fate or the gods orwhoever controls karma, says
well, you already celebratedyour birthday.
This is a good time to strikeyou down dead, so you don't
celebrate anything prior to it.
My goal always is to make it tothat event.
Birthdays anniversaries.
Kerry (07:28):
So if you were going to throw your kids a birthday party
, then you would need to do iton a weekend.
For convenience you would do itthe weekend after not the
weekend before.
So even if their birthday wasMonday, you wouldn't have the
birthday the Sunday before.
DJ Nick (07:41):
Hell.
No, it would have to be oh thatgood, I can respect that.
Chrisy (07:45):
I can totally respect that, and you know, if their
birthday happens to fall on theweekend, bonus, yeah, but no, it
either has to be their birthdayyeah, actually, or the time
afterwards.
Kerry (07:57):
Okay, no celebrating prior None I have no problems
with that.
That celebrating prior None, Ihave no problems with that.
That, to me, makes total sense.
And again, you're acknowledgingon the birthday something, so
you're having the cake orsomething, even if it's just you
guys, your intimate family, onthat day, right?
Chrisy (08:14):
And it usually is just the, you know, mom, with my kids
, it's just us.
Yeah, you know, but yeah, youhave to.
Kerry (08:21):
I have such a juxtaposition about birthdays
because, as much as I love themand I want to make a big deal
out of them and I do make a bigdeal out of other people's
birthdays and everything thereis a part of me that has huge
anxiety about my birthday.
Chrisy (08:37):
Now, why is that?
Kerry (08:38):
I think it's because it was forgotten one too many times
by people.
Chrisy (08:42):
Oh, my God, You're like the opening of 16 candles.
You mean people actually flipand forgot your birthday.
Yes, parents, yes, oh, myCarrie, jesus, god, this is
terrible and Carrie go.
Kerry (08:55):
I want to hear it.
Well, I should say it's maybenot so much that they forgot,
but it got overshadowed becauseof Mother's Day.
So many times my birthday fallson the exact same day as
Mother's Day.
Chrisy (09:11):
As mine does with Father's Day.
Kerry (09:12):
Gonna happen this year?
Oh, is it?
It's gonna happen this year.
So what happens is you knowwhat would happen is they would,
oh, like the Christmasbirthdays and the Christmas
thing put it all together.
Oh well, we'll just do one.
We'll celebrate Mother's Dayand Carrie's birthday all at the
same time, and then it getsovershadowed.
And then as you get older, youknow again big age gap in the
(09:36):
family from me and the siblings,and then it was just you know
us at home, or oh, we hadMother's Day.
Oh yeah, I forgot that Carrie'sbirthday is the next day.
There would be like this nomention of you.
Yeah, or it would be a lastminute, like all of a sudden at
bedtime.
Oh my gosh, we forgot it wasyour birthday.
I thought it was yeah, andsorry, Jim, I'm going to call
(10:00):
you out on this one.
Chrisy (10:01):
No no, no, carrie, yeah, don't even do this In his
defense.
Kerry (10:07):
I think it was the very first year we were together, but
we had been together for almosta year by the time my birthday
rolled around and he didn't.
He forgot it was my birthday,oh my God.
And so that just already havingthose you like I don't know how
do you say birthday abandonmentissues, I get this anxiety
(10:30):
because it's like, and then, asI've gotten older, I feel like I
would have to plan my own eventokay I get this anxiety of like
see, oh my god, do you see me?
I just took a deep, yes you'rehaving you're definitely having
a reaction, so it's like yourface is red.
I know, oh my god, I know thisis what I'm saying.
(10:51):
I want to celebrate it and Iwant to be celebrated, but I'm
afraid people won't celebrate itor they'll forget.
My response to that is then Iwill plan my own getaway and we
will often go away, because Ifeel like if I leave, then if
people forget or they don't doanything or don't reach out,
it's OK because I wasn'tavailable.
So I'm giving you know, I'mcreating a pass for people.
(11:13):
I know it's it's sodysfunctional.
Chrisy (11:15):
Yeah that's.
I know a lot of trouble to gothrough to accommodate other
people's shortcomings, toprotect myself accommodate other
people's shortcomings toprotect myself.
Kerry (11:26):
But so for my 50th birthday a few years ago it was
like months before my 50thbirthday I started having this
huge anxiety about my birthday.
And it wasn't about turning 50,but it was the fact that it was
my 50th birthday and I was soafraid that I'm like okay, what
if this is another year whereit's forgotten or underplayed or
not played or whatever.
And that's almost as bad too.
When the people celebrate yourbirthday because they feel they
(11:47):
have to, like it's an obligation, like to me, it's just as bad.
I know I'm so, I'm so messed upabout this.
So what I did was I went to Jimand I said I'm just going to ask
you now and the answer iscompletely okay.
I said have you given anythought about what you're going
to do in three months for my50th birthday?
And he kind of looked at melike there was no right answer
(12:09):
for him.
So he was like I'm going to becompletely honest.
No, I have not given a thought.
And I'm like that's okay.
I got it and I planned this bigtrip to Jamaica.
We went to Jamaica and I saidI'm okay with that.
You didn't plan anythingbecause it is still three months
away.
I'm saving you and I'm savingme.
So we planned a trip, and thenour friends went with us too,
but I will often escape on mybirthday, and it's purely a
(12:33):
defense tachyonism, yeah.
Chrisy (12:34):
Wow, I know, talk about dysfunction.
Is that not dysfunctional?
Kerry (12:39):
Well, yeah, so in the same token is what you dealt
(13:04):
with as far as celebratinggenerally Mother's Day with your
birthday on certain years whenit fell that way, but it's so
weird because as much attentionas my father generally demanded.
Chrisy (13:08):
Yeah, and maybe I was just sort of the same, I also
demanded as much, and they sortof canceled each other out.
The apple didn't fall far fromthe tree.
No, not at all.
Remembering back then I don'tremember really feeling shorted
or underplayed, Because I thinkearly on it was basically just
my understanding that you know,yes, you can invite over whoever
you want, how many people youwant, and go swimming, and I
would usually request what Iwanted there generally pizza or
(13:30):
are we ordering something?
And I would generally tell themwhat I wanted as far as a cake
and that was provided.
So it was sort of like just tokeep you planned your own stuff,
though.
Well, I guess I kind of didAgain.
Again, it was pretty much likethat whole thing where I talk
about, where they just basicallyjust give her whatever she
wants and then we don't payattention anymore yeah and it
(13:53):
was easy for them just to sayyes, you got friends here.
That means I don't need to focuson you for anything.
I got food here for you, notgonna be going without, and
we'll supply food for yourfriends Snacks, drinks, whatever
.
Cake yeah, I'll get you abeautiful cake.
It'll be here ready to go.
Ice cream, whatever.
And then generally I don't evenremember them being home.
(14:14):
Wow, Really, I probably shouldhave taken more advantage as I
got old.
I did actually.
You know, things got a littlecrazy later on and again they
were the perfect parents for me.
Yeah, Because I have nohostility that I know of, for
that you know.
Kerry (14:30):
Yeah, I can't say I have hostility, but it manifests
itself in anxiety.
Chrisy (14:36):
There's something going on there.
There's something, because youcan see the physical reaction
right.
Yeah, that was physical.
I thought you were going tomaybe turn into like a
transformer.
You were really upset.
I was going to start crying orturn green, I don't know.
Kerry (14:53):
I think it really stems from this whole thing of you
know I grew, you know I don'tknow if you've heard this, the
phrase about the parent,parentized child I think that's
how they say it Parentized child, it's basically where you know
the child grows up taking careof themselves or their parents.
And I feel like in a lot ofways that was me, because, you
know, again, I remember first,second grade.
(15:13):
I would get up for school on myown.
I'd have to iron my own uniform, I'd have to pack my own lunch,
I would wake my mom up so shewould watch me go out the door
and so she was watching me atthe end of the driveway to make
sure no one stole me while I waswaiting for the bus at the end
of the driveway.
But I did all of that.
I then come home from school noparent home, so I was taking
(15:35):
care.
So I grew up with this having totake care of myself in a lot of
ways and also, therefore, wasnot protected.
You know we talked about beforedifferent abuse and things that
happened.
I wasn't protected.
It's, I think it's kind of allof that stems together and here
you have this great occasion andthen to be forgotten about, or
the sideshow again.
(15:56):
It just creates all of thistotally dysfunction around one
silly day of the year.
So I am a hot mess in thebeginning of May around my
birthday and the other thingthat gets me is I know people
that know this about me will tryto protect me, so they'll want
to think they're doing a goodthing by.
Okay, I know you really wantthis particular person to
remember.
At your birthday today.
(16:17):
People will try to remind thatperson and I'm always like I'm
on to it.
I know it's like don't you tellthem to remind them about my
birthday?
Like I know I let them hurt meand forget.
I would rather have that thanyou remind them.
And then I get the call becausethey have to.
You know what I mean.
You know you're looking at mewith such no I.
Chrisy (16:35):
to be honest, what I'm thinking right now is I better
goddamn make sure I have yourbirthday on my calendar.
I'm going to put posters up inmy room.
I'm going to have my phone gooff all day Because I knew, I
always remember it being in Mayand I know.
No, I feel I don't even want totell you the date.
(16:56):
I know when it is.
That's it.
I'm just going to.
Kerry (16:59):
You can say the date because I already said, this
year it's going to happen onMother's Day.
Chrisy (17:03):
But I don't know when Mother's Day is.
Do you think that I'm that intune to that?
Then I got to deal with theparent.
Come on, is it the?
Kerry (17:12):
14th no.
Chrisy (17:15):
I didn't say that I didn't come out.
It was more of a noise in theback of my throat.
It's in the middle of the monthbefore the middle.
Kerry (17:24):
Oh, it's the 12th.
I'm totally letting you no.
Chrisy (17:27):
The 11th, yes oh my God, what am I just writing on my
paper?
Huge May 11th.
It's the same day as my sister.
Please don't tell me.
You know when mine is.
Kerry (17:38):
June 17th God.
Chrisy (17:39):
But everybody knows that date because it's the same day
as the Watergate break-in.
Kerry (17:43):
I have no idea what that reference is.
The the watergate mcnixon.
I was born on the exact sameday as that watergate break-in.
Oh well, I was.
Chrisy (17:54):
I was a month and oh, six days old.
Yeah, I remember that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now everybody celebrateswatergate, don't they?
Kerry (17:59):
no, nobody does anymore, okay you know how I remember,
though how now I remember andcorrelate your birthday, but I
knew what your birthday was isbecause that's our wedding
anniversary there.
That's why you were no but Iknew it from before.
Chrisy (18:13):
But I'm just saying, that's how you planned the day
you were exactly, becauseeverything revolves around
chrissy see, now I got to sharemy birthday with that too, and
well, my dad's deceased.
So that's, that problem wastaken out of the equation, but
it was never a problem.
You, as you were talking, Ifinally realized what my
situation was, growing up withmy parents what, and everybody
(18:34):
would have wished they were me,which I always felt anyhow.
Kerry (18:37):
What is that?
Chrisy (18:38):
I basically had the life like I lived in a high end
hotel.
Oh, yeah, you did.
My clothes were washed.
Yeah, my shirts were ironed forme.
Yeah, my skirt was pressed forme.
Yes, my shirts were ironed forme.
My skirt was pressed for me.
My clothes were laid out andpurchased for me, my meals were
already made and waiting for me.
There was no need for anybodyto be there.
All my wants and needs werecared for.
I had a room that had a VCR,cable, stereo system, all my
(19:03):
stupid crap in it, and there wasnothing I needed or wanted.
No, you didn't.
I must have had the best here.
I thought they were lousyparents.
I'm going to have to retirefrom the podcast now.
I haven't noticed they werelike the best.
Chrissy has this enlightenmentBecause I never really wanted to
have any time with them.
Right, I just wanted, I wanted.
(19:23):
I'm a child of need.
I still am.
I'm a big child of need.
I want, I want, but yes, so Iam so grateful.
Kerry (19:37):
Good for you.
Chrisy (19:38):
I am feeling horrible.
Kerry (19:39):
So you call, call Jano today and tell her your to one
Mother's Day.
You'll be able to say to her,you'll be able to have something
to be grateful for.
I'll get her a couple extraflowers this year.
Okay, there you go, oh my gosh.
Chrisy (19:51):
Wow, now some people, though.
Let's talk about these types.
What, unless you were going tohave another?
No we can go on.
I am totally opposed to peopleas adults having birthday big
bashes Now for milestonebirthdays.
I'm not going to crap on thatGotcha, but every goddamn year
(20:12):
and I know again these people Idon't think listen, and I don't
care if you do, I'm not shyabout this.
DJ Nick (20:17):
Yes.
Chrisy (20:18):
I'm 50 years old now.
You're not going to cause meany heartache.
Why do we have to celebrateyour birthday every year like
you're a child?
You mean, like sisters, theylove their birthday the one
sister like sisters, they lovetheir birthday the one sister
birthday month.
She has stuff scheduled everyweekend, but people love her.
Hey, it speaks volumes aboutwho you are.
(20:38):
Yeah, the people love you thatmuch they want to celebrate your
birthday.
Oh, goddamn monthCongratulations.
You've obviously been kind andgiving your whole life that
these people still wanted tocelebrate you to the flipping
limits.
Yeah, not me, I don't care.
I'm thrilled that you even knewmy birthday and I'm thrilled
(21:00):
that you got married on mybirthday and I love you for it.
But I don't and I get agitated.
I'm glad we kind of live faraway.
They send us the text.
We're going to have so-and-so'sbirthday celebration at my
house and they usually will sendyou the menu so you know what
you're eating.
Oh well, that's good and youcan't even get away with that.
I always like why don't we goout to a restaurant?
(21:22):
We're all adults, especiallybefore I had kids.
No, they have.
No, they're not allowed thatsomebody has to go out of their
way to have it at their home, ohbut not the birthday person's
home?
okay, they're not doing anythingthat day.
I like that cleaning, I likethey're not going to clean up
after I'm not making one damndish I like that, and then the
dip sister has to bring dip, ofcourse, but they have someone
(21:47):
has to prep the meal and they'renot give them credit.
They go all out with the meal.
Kerry (21:53):
I mean, it's like a holiday can I be part of your
family, nick?
Chrisy (21:57):
oh, they'll love it, as long as you're going to
acknowledge their birthday.
Kerry (21:59):
I mean don't come empty-handed, as long as they,
as long as it's give and take oh, that's what I want.
Chrisy (22:04):
Oh well, yeah, oh yeah, once you get on their schedule,
let me think, is your birthdayin?
Uh, well, it's close to one ofthe other siblings you got to
watch with that, so they have awhole meal.
And then I was like, well, whycan't you guys just buy a cake?
God damn it.
Why does somebody have to makea cake?
That's such crap.
There's so many places you canget a great cake.
Someone has to, usually abanana nut cake.
(22:32):
What's wrong with that?
I don't know who birthday?
No banana nut cake.
I know you are the winner blueribbon winner of banana nut
bread and nick is on board withthat.
But as much as he likes banananut, bread.
Kerry (22:39):
He don't want a banana.
Chrisy (22:40):
I don't think he also is oh, it's not just.
Kerry (22:42):
It's always a banana cake , not for everybody.
Okay, I was gonna say no, it'sit's whatever sister, with the
sister once and I okay onesister in particular loves
always like okay, well then,there's nothing wrong with that
no, it's their day but again I'mthinking so every year.
Chrisy (22:58):
It's a big deal.
And then one time a few times,this came up.
I kind of got mad because theyall had their designated months
for their birthday and their day, that we're going to celebrate
it.
And then my husband's birthdayand his one, his oldest sister's
birthday, are close, as far asnot year, of course, because
(23:18):
there's like almost 12 yearsbetween them, but where his is
in January, hers is in December.
Okay, she's at the end, he'ssort of at the beginning, sort
of not so much, but close.
Kerry (23:29):
Do they do the same day party?
Chrisy (23:31):
Well, when we would bring it up, because two of his
other sisters have, one in Apriland one in May, uh-huh, and
they would never combine those.
Kerry (23:40):
I really like your family , Nick.
Chrisy (23:50):
But because we went into the holiday lag for that
December-January mix thatsometimes they would say we're
going to combine, we're going totack on Nick's birthday with
so-and-so's birthday.
Yeah, and I used to be likelook, we just went through all
that.
We used to go through all thistrouble with special meals
designated for special thingsand you're going to do this to
my husband.
Kerry (24:03):
No, that's wrong.
DJ Nick (24:05):
They've been combining the other ones lately.
Chrisy (24:07):
Well, because everybody's getting old man,
they've been combining the otherones lately, because everyone's
getting old man.
DJ Nick (24:09):
Nobody wants to do all this crap, but you know I don't
want to say too much, but I justwant to say this Sunday, have a
happy birthday aww, thank you,nick, get out of here.
Chrisy (24:20):
Go sit over there.
I'm going to buy her somethingnice.
One time I bought Carrie aWheel of Fortune watch she did.
Kerry (24:27):
I love that watch.
It was the best.
It was like a swatch watch, butit was wheel of fortune yeah
and oh, I loved I had it for theboyfriend at the time.
He did not like it they broughther something cool, cooler than
he could get me well, we're not, I know, because he didn't get
you the wheel of fortune right.
Chrisy (24:47):
that's why you and I are sitting here today this is true
.
Kerry (24:52):
So what other traditions do you have?
Do you have any special songsor anything other than the
traditional birthday song?
Do you do anything else?
You know how you were talking.
Chrisy (25:00):
Oh my God, she brought up the song thing.
I'm going to have to talk aboutthe song thing.
Kerry (25:06):
Do you have the family?
Chrisy (25:07):
song thing, no, well, no , I won't forget this.
So you tell us about your song.
No, you go first.
Kerry (25:11):
All right, crissy go, crissy go.
Chrisy (25:14):
So I am traditional, which is you think some of this
crazy can't be.
DJ Nick (25:19):
But the happy birthday song.
Chrisy (25:21):
Yeah, happy birthday, that's enough.
Now, if you happen to be at arestaurant, I know like
sometimes, if you go to aMexican restaurant, they sing
you their version of HappyBirthday.
Awesome, that's fine.
Because you're at a restaurant,yeah, but when you're at home
with family, happy birthday song, traditional, that's it.
That is it One song?
DJ Nick (25:44):
Now.
Chrisy (25:45):
Nick's family because again they got to go all out, or
whatever the hell you want tocall this.
They have three goddamn songsthey have to sing before you can
blow out your candles.
And my kids for the longesttime were so confused because
they know we just sing one songand then you blow, and so they'd
be sitting at the table and wewould sing the song and then
they start into a new song.
(26:05):
So then the kid has to back offthe candle.
So then after the second songthey're like, okay, I'm gonna go
.
no, now there's another song oh,this is great and I'd be like,
oh my god, and it was so hard,because kids are excited, they
want both the cameras, becausethen generally they're going to
open their presents, yeah, butwe got to go through this whole
thing, yeah, so generally, youknow, it's just in rebellion I
(26:27):
would generally not sing theother two songs, even though the
words were very simple and Iknew them.
I'm like you know what I'm?
Just I'm, I'm rebelling, I'mnot singing your songs.
You're not singing the song andI ain't eating the dip, I don't
even know I'm not even I'm notexplaining dip and I'm not
singing three songs, so did havethat growing up.
I'm just curious we what they?
I think they started all thisstuff when I finally got into
(26:50):
his life, just to be irritating.
He doesn't even remember any ofthis dj nick go what's the
songs?
DJ Nick (26:57):
so the second song is it's basically using the same
melody as a happy birthday song,but it's.
Chrisy (27:01):
May the dear lord bless you oh okay, I've heard that
okay yeah, then the last song iswe wish you a happy birthday, A
very happy birthday.
We wish you a happy birthday.
Happy birthday to you.
Kerry (27:15):
And then somebody usually says or something afterwards,
and it's just like I have noproblem with that.
Chrisy (27:23):
Carrie, it's too much.
DJ Nick (27:26):
I think they added the you know may the dear Lord,
bless you to try to cancelChristy's reservation in hell.
Kerry (27:35):
They're sending.
That's their gift to you.
Chrisy (27:37):
They never sing that to me.
You know why?
Because I never have a damnbirthday party.
Kerry (27:45):
So our family and we do this and and we love everyone
really loves it.
And when we do it, when there'sget togethers and there's not
just family and there's outsidepeople, other people, friends or
whatever it always catcheseveryone off guard, but they
love it.
But the good thing is it'safter the candle, so you don't
have to wait.
So we do the traditionalbirthday song.
Right, the person blows out thecandle and when they blow out
(28:08):
the candle we start.
So Right, the person blows outthe candle and when they blow
out the candle we start.
So I'll use your name.
So today is Chrissy's birthday,birthday birthday.
Today is Chrissy's birthday.
We count the years away andthen we clap the years and the
age of the person.
So one, two, three, four, five,six, until you get to their age
.
Chrisy (28:23):
So it's great, it gets the kids, everything going Well,
it's really funny whenever likelast year, my mom's 85th
birthday party we started this,so it got really.
You couldn't do it by 10.
Kerry (28:33):
No, you don't do it by 10 you gotta count the years and
usually the funny thing is thelonger it is, the older the
person is.
When you get to the longernumbers you're like 77, 78, like
you drag it out.
You know it's like that bottlesof beer song, it is kind of
like that.
Yes, yes, but it's fun and weenjoy it.
But it's always, I love, whenwe're in a mixed crowd and we do
that.
(28:53):
We just everyone just starts inbecause you'll see the people.
But that don't know, they'll belike wait, what's happening,
what's happening here?
And then they, oh, oh, this isfun.
And they start clapping andjoining in.
Chrisy (29:03):
So, yeah, the, that is our birthday okay, I would be
standing there completely offguard now that you're doing this
Probably annoyed, fairlyquickly.
Kerry (29:12):
Probably.
Chrisy (29:12):
And then I'd have to turn to Nick or somebody and say
, okay, wait, remind me again.
How old is this person, whatnumber?
Kerry (29:18):
are we counting to?
How long am I going to?
Because I'm going to loseinterest real quick and get
sidetracked and stop, I'm gladyou love it, so that's why I
have no problem with nick'ssongs I guess I should
appreciate that, because I don'tknow how I feel about the
clapping the key, though, isit's after the blowout of the
candles, so you only have thebirthday song, the blowout, and
(29:40):
then that goes into the nextsong.
Chrisy (29:41):
So you don't have to wait, you know but if I showed
up at the party late and I justgot there when you were doing
the cake thing but I I haven'teaten yet, oh, I'm going to get
very hostile Because I'm really.
I'm like, okay, I'm sorry I'mlate, I know you guys kind of
everybody already ate, butthere's still food here for me.
Yeah, let's do the cake, and Iwant to get over there to eat.
Kerry (29:58):
Yeah.
Chrisy (29:58):
And now you're doing this which takes like 10 minutes
and I'm starving and thethey're starting to put it away
and I'm like put the food awayOnce they finish this BS.
Over here I'm chowing down.
So wow, wow, congrats on that.
Kerry (30:15):
I guess I don't know what to say.
Well, that was fun.
Maybe, maybe, hopefully, thisyear I won't have so much
anxiety about my birthday.
Chrisy (30:24):
No, I've got to.
The week is early, I do, theweek is early I have anxiety,
because I feel like I'm going tohave to make up for every lousy
ass that didn't do what theywere supposed to do.
Damn, oh my.
Kerry (30:39):
Well, we want to hear your family's birthday.
Horror stories, happy stories,songs, traditions, whatever it
is, or how they relate toMother's day, father's day,
those type of things or otherholidays, or other holidays yes
let us know, check us out on ourfacebook page and then, as
always, please be sure to hitthat like or follow or subscribe
button on whatever streamingcast, that you're listening to
(31:02):
us too, and we look forward toseeing you next week.
Chrisy (31:05):
Bye-bye happy birthday, carrie.
Thank you, week bye-bye.
Happy birthday, carrie.
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