October 2, 2025 • 19 mins
We’ve all heard the clichés: focus on what you can control, embrace the pain not the suffering, fight for what you want. Easy to dismiss, right? But the truth is, those sayings stick around for a reason. They hold the kind of wisdom that can change how you approach life, work, and even setbacks.
What often gets missed is that clichés aren’t about perfection, they’re about perspective. They remind you that regret comes from the chances you didn’t take, that discipline lasts longer than motivation, and that consistency matters more than bursts of effort. It’s not about chasing outcomes—it’s about showing up, day after day, for the things that matter most.
One question that flips the script: How do I minimize future regrets? Suddenly, clichés like “control what you can” or “give it your all” stop sounding tired and start feeling urgent. They’re not just empty lines, they’re the compass for your decisions.
When you finally pay attention to the advice you’ve heard a thousand times, life feels lighter, setbacks feel smaller, and your goals feel closer. It’s not about ignoring the noise, it’s about finally hearing the truth inside it.
Which cliché have you been ignoring that’s ready to guide you?
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Ari Taublieb, CFP ®, MBA is the Chief Growth Officer of Root Financial Partners and a Fiduciary Financial Planner specializing in helping clients retire early with confidence.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Many of you know, I grew up in Malibu, california, a
very affluent area.
James went to college in Malibu, california, at Pepperdine, and
my dad grew up watching his dadas an accountant and then he
once saw the movie the EndlessSummer and he went my dad's an
accountant, I'm watching theEndless Summer and I'm seeing
people surf and he thought theymade the same money.
(00:20):
So he went.
Why would someone choose to bean accountant over a surfer?
I'm going to be a surfer.
Little did he know that didn'tcome with a ton of financial
benefits, let's just sayRegardless.
My dad fell in love withsurfing and the reason I'm
telling you this story is I grewup in Malibu and my dad said
I'd rather live in a shack inMalibu than anywhere else in the
world, even if it was a mansion.
(00:41):
And my dad gave me great advicealong the way of my journey and
he used to always say, ari,anytime you want something, it
doesn't mean you're going to getit.
And I would get upset and I'dsay why are you telling me that
he goes?
Because I'm the meanest dad inMalibu.
Now you can imagine I grew upin Malibu.
A lot of characters that's mebeing nice, james.
(01:05):
A lot of characters in Malibu,and these characters could be 16
, 17 years old, driving thenicest cars, telling teachers I
don't got to do my homework.
There was a lot of attitude alot of great people as well, of
course, but there was attitude.
So I even regret to this day alittle bit, but I will joke on
YouTube and say I'm the meanestfinancial advisor because I'm
trying to allude to my dad tosay, hey, I'm not just going to
tell you you can retire unlessyou're in a good spot, I'm not
(01:28):
going to.
I also don't want you mad at meif you're 85 with $10 million
going.
Hey, ari, what the heck youtold me I was in a good spot,
like why didn't you give me moreconfidence to retire earlier,
when I had my health, when I hadmy energy?
So my dad's told me a ton oflife lessons.
So have other family members andfriends, but what I want to
talk about today with you, james, is specifically what advice
(01:49):
have we been given that have putus in this position, where we
have?
I don't want to say reachedsuccess, because there's never a
high enough point for that, butwhy are we where we are?
And I'm asking all of you tocontribute as well.
I put this as a thread in ourcommunity, the Root Collective.
So if you're in the descriptionof this YouTube video or
(02:10):
podcast episode, you're going tosee a thread that is a photo of
me and my dad.
You can see we're both not verytall and I'm talking about some
of the lessons that my dadshared with me.
That I'll be getting into today.
But I encourage you all, please.
It's one thing.
If you're hearing from James orI in a YouTube video or podcast
talking about, you know, rothconversion or donor advised
(02:31):
funds or whatever it may be,that lights us up in our
financial nerd brain, but canyou all go share with each other
?
Hey, this was something that Inever knew, but turns out my dad
wish he retired earlier and hepassed away with too much money,
or they just weren't given thisone piece of advice that I wish
I would have seen, or whateverthat may be.
Please go in there.
It makes it way more fun inthat community when I get to see
(02:53):
you guys chatting, so Iappreciate you doing so.
James, is there an advice, apiece of advice from a friend or
family member that comes tomind for you?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, and I love this concept because sometimes we
hear, well, what's the bestpiece of life advice?
And things are so cliche andwhatever.
But I love your idea of go tothe community, share the best
piece of advice that you learnedfrom a parent or whatever,
because almost everyone has apiece of life advice they've
been given.
That's just that does kind ofhit you differently when you
hear it, because there's context, because there's stuff behind
(03:24):
it.
So I I like this.
Um, the thing that first cameto mind when you asked this was
not a piece of advice that wasverbally given as much as it was
, I guess, messaged.
I was a freshman in high school,it was my second year or second
semester, and I had a historyfinal coming up and the way that
(03:45):
it worked was like the finalexam, for whatever reason, was
weighted very lowly in terms ofyour overall score.
You know sometimes like thefinal exam is 40% of your grade
or 30% is some big number whereif you don't do well, you're not
going to do well in the class.
I can't.
It was something like 5% of thegrade or something.
And I remember I was squarelyin A minus territory where I was
(04:08):
thinking through like I coulddo really well in this exam,
where I could totally flunk it,I'm still going to end up with
an A minus.
And I think this was my lastfinal exam.
So I was tired, I was exhausted.
Whatever, I was a freshman, I'drather be doing other things
than studying, doing otherthings than studying.
And it was.
I remember, getting home from, Ithink, a previous final and my
dad asked me what you know whatI had next?
(04:29):
And I said oh, just my historyfinal.
I don't need to study here.
I am Like I'm going to get an Aminus no matter what happens.
And I remember he didn't justsay no, you're going to study,
go study and do it.
He said no, that's not how,like that's not how.
I forget the exact words, butthat's not the attitude we take
towards things.
We are going to give it our all, regardless of what the outcome
(04:49):
was.
And that's easy enough to say,like a parent to tell their kid
go study, I'm going to go watchTV, or I'm going to go relax or
I'm going to go.
Do I remember he sat down withme for like hours at the kitchen
table studying for my historyexam, which had, in my mind,
zero importance because it wasnot going to change the final
grade one way or the other.
And I remember that so vividlybecause I ended up I must've
(05:13):
done pretty well on it, cause Iremember it moved my grade from
an A minus to an A, which when Iwas looking at the math I was
like there's no way, like Ithink that I'm at an A minus
regardless.
But the lesson I learned that mydad didn't just tell me as much
as he exhibited it was we don'tdo things for the outcome, we
do things for the characterbuilding, we do things for who.
(05:34):
It makes us kind of becomealong the way, which can be so
cliche, but it's like if you'rejust attached to the outcome,
sure give up.
Go to the park with yourfriends, go do whatever, go
watch TV.
No need to study because theoutcome's there Versus.
If it's not about the outcomebut it's about you being the
best you can possibly be, whocares if you get a B and who
(05:54):
cares if you get an A, as longas you are doing everything you
can to be excellent here in thispursuit, in this studying for
your final exam.
That's what we're going tofocus on.
So focus on what you're puttinginto it, not what you're
getting out of it.
And I think, even as thatrelates to root, like you
mentioned, yeah, we've had somesuccess.
That's great, but like that'snot what we're focused on.
(06:16):
Is not that?
It's not just how many teammembers do we have, how many
clients do we have, how manywhatever do we have?
We're what we built, I think isreally cool, but I think
there's so much more that we cankeep doing.
What the inputs that we canfocus on.
How can root be the best it canbe?
How can we view this as likethe place for even Ari's
(06:37):
personal expression, my personalexpression advisors put like
this is where everyone gets theopportunity to be excellent, and
it's that, it's that input thatwe're so hyper-focused on.
How can we make this the bestit can be?
Less focused on what growthrate is, how do we compare to
the rest of the industry?
Those are kind of cool things,but they can quickly become
addicting and make you losesight of what actually matters.
So that wasn't verbal advicethat my dad gave me, but for
(07:00):
whatever reason, I remember thatstuck with me as a doing your
best in disconnecting from theoutcome.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
You said cliche a few times, because this could be
cliche, this could be avalueless episode if we just
said, hey, carpe diem, you know,go seize the day.
It's like, hey, everyone saysthat the reality is it's very
different.
The fact that your dad spentthe time to sit down with you,
knowing that it might literallynot change your grade but
reframe your brain.
Maybe he wasn't even thinkingthat, but he just said that's
(07:37):
the right thing to do Shows whohe is.
The biggest moment for me wasmy dad used to say no means get
to work and I just didn'tunderstand what he said.
I went that sounded nice.
He said it with conviction, butI thought no meant no, so I
would go.
And I remember I once wanted myfirst job.
I wanted to make money.
I already was interested inthat because my parents
struggled by not havingfinancial savviness growing up.
So I wanted to help and I wentto get a job and I applied.
(08:01):
I had an interview and theysaid no.
I said okay, so no on to thenext job.
My dad said no means get to work.
What didn't go well?
I said, okay, I get it.
He's trying to be a good dad.
He wants me to look at what Idid in my interview and what
could I have done differently.
And he was saying no, this willnot.
You did not succeed here if youdon't get the job.
And I said, dad, they alreadydeclined me.
(08:21):
And he said that doesn't meananything.
That does not mean that's notavailable anymore.
That just means you're nowbeginning and go start.
And so then I was thinking thatjust means you're now beginning
and go start.
And so then I was thinking okay, what are creative ways that I
can get in front of them?
And I started coming up withnew ideas.
I don't remember what they were, but I remember I once actually
(08:42):
it did eventually relate to you, james, in a far way where I
had an AOL email address.
It was a dumb idea at the time,but I thought maybe they're
going to think I seem moremature or older if I have an AOL
email address, even if I go inand I still look like I've got
all my zits on my face.
So it really didn't apply.
It wasn't thought out well, butit was the thought of oh, just
because someone said no doesn'tmean it's over, it's hey, go
(09:02):
fight for what you want.
So, with that being said, a lotof comments we'll see on YouTube
of people who say, oh my gosh,I wish my spouse would have told
me earlier that they didn'twant to travel because I was
planning my whole retirement totravel.
Or I wish that I had spent moretime not sitting at my desk
because I found out that thatwasn't going to be great for my
health, which then relates to myhiking and retirement, whatever
(09:24):
that may be.
So want to certainly say guys,please go in the community.
It makes it way more fun whenyou do comment, so thank you for
doing that.
And then touching back, james,on that success piece, and
people say oh, did you reachsuccess?
The first thought is how manymillion of people have we
underserved?
And people would say well, youhaven't done anything wrong.
(09:45):
They just maybe don't knowabout you.
I go well, that's us notserving them.
We feel we have a solution to alot of people's problems, and
it's not always working directlywith us.
Maybe it's tuning into a pieceof content, looking at something
differently.
But how many messages have youreceived from people going wow,
if you didn't say this one thing, I would have thought
differently about this for therest of my life.
And we get these notes fromteam members.
(10:07):
Internally, we just had areally fun meeting today.
It's our staff meeting, wherepeople are sharing how a team
member who just got married, thewhole team came together and
put together a little customvideo for them, and they didn't
have to do that.
But we're around these people,which personally motivates me to
do it even more.
So, I think, surrounding thatculture, which a lot of people
(10:27):
use as a buzzword today, butputting real intent behind it
goes a long way.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, agreed.
And then even with the feedbackpeople give I know I am guilty
of this there's a tendency wherefeedback seems too cliche, it's
too trite, it's too whatever.
Focus on what you can control.
Let go of what you can'tcontrol.
Let go of what you can't.
Kind of like yeah, it's almostso simple.
(10:53):
We just dismiss it, almost getupset when people say, because
it's like gosh, so lame, whocares?
I've heard that a million timesand then we, like it takes
sometimes a life experience forus to realize no, that was the
feedback that I needed.
Sometimes we look for the morecomplex feedback.
We look for the thing like it'sjust a firm form of
procrastination where thefeedback for people listening
may prioritize your health,prioritize what are you going to
(11:15):
do in retirement, whatever.
I need something more complex.
I need, like, the mostefficient Roth conversion flip
crud charitable remainder gift,because it gives us something
new to put our focus on, asopposed to addressing the simple
thing, which is sometimes adifficult thing, which is oh,
(11:35):
that lesson is actually reallyprofound.
Maybe there's a reason.
I've heard it 10 million timesin my lifetime.
Maybe it's a 10 million firsttime that I should actually pay
attention to it.
So I think that that is againsomething I know I am guilty of.
But, as people share theirlessons here, don't dismiss
something because it's trite,because it's cliche, because
(11:56):
you've heard it a million timesreally think through.
How do I apply this?
Because I think so much of thework that we do, I think so much
of the work that I even dopersonally.
It's like how do I minimizefuture regrets?
How do you live fully in themoment and minimize?
You were kind of living bydefault, you were living in
automatic mode, you were livingin whatever's easy, whatever's
(12:19):
in front of you, whatever'surgent, as opposed to.
I'm going to shift tointentional mode.
I'm going to shift to manualmode and kind of start doing
things on my terms.
But that takes embracing thesimple questions that are really
difficult to answer sometimesand applying them in a way that
(12:40):
maybe we haven't thought ofbefore.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I've told your story many times, james.
I think it's worth finishingtoday's episode with it when you
were on the jet ski and how youdidn't hesitate and just went
right back to your friend's dadand told him what I'll let you
tell in just a second.
But I know a lot of you willsay it's really hard to retire
because not because I'm notexcited, I am excited but
because this is what I know andthe idea of going to something I
(13:03):
don't know is scary because Idon't know the last time I did
something for the first time.
I mean, I remember, yes, I gotmarried or I went to school or
whatever.
I had my grandbaby, whateverthat is.
But when's the last time youpersonally said I am making a
big shift to my life where Imight I mean you guys can be
very honest.
You know I'm very honest and atransparent person.
(13:25):
It might feel weird to go up toyour coworker and say, hey, so
I'm going to stop working and wemight like not see each other
by the cooler, and we bothhaven't ever said it, but we
both, at 1037 every Tuesday, goand hope that one of us is there
and when we're not there, we'resad, but we don't look sad and
that's weird to bring up.
You need to initiate that,which can be difficult if you've
(13:46):
been in a role where thatreally hasn't it's been unspoken
.
You know you're going to seethem and you know you're going
to miss them, but you don't wantto say it and all these little
hidden things that we can alltalk about.
But unless we actually do takeaction, which is what we say in
our videos of, if you walk awayand go ask your spouse one
question hey, spouse, have Iever said that I'm moving back
(14:06):
my retirement I've had peoplesay like a hundred times like
what's new?
That's just every Friday.
And they're like oh, I justthought I was just telling you
about my day.
Or oh, my gosh, I had no ideathat you didn't want to travel
around the world.
I thought that's like what wewere going to do in retirement.
No, I'm more of a homebody.
You're like okay, well, thatreally changes things, because I
was about to work 10 more yearsso we could do this thing.
That turns out you don't evenwant.
(14:28):
So on that jet ski story, Ijust think it's powerful, james,
if you don't mind sharing it,because it was a moment where
you just did it, and that seemslike it comes from experiences
like the one your dad had withyou about building character.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, I don't know where I learned this initial
lesson, but the story was thiswas my senior year of high
school, got invited out to afriend's place on the river and
this friend had some jet skis,which was awesome.
I don't think maybe I'd riddenjet skis once in my life before
a couple of times, but anyways,it was like this very big, fun,
exciting thing to do.
I get to ride a jet ski on theriver and I get to go hang out
(15:06):
with my friends while we do it.
And we were riding and it wasmyself and my friend were riding
one.
So I was driving, he wassitting on back, and then two
other friends run another jetski, you know, both on the same
one, riding behind us, and wewere going down the river as
fast as we could and I wasn'tpaying attention.
I know how close they werebehind us.
I forget the exactcircumstances, but you know it's
(15:28):
fun to whip those jet skisaround and see if you can throw
whoever's sitting on back offthe jet ski.
So you, you know you go fullspeed, you whip it, you try to
stay on by leaning forward andnot being where the you know the
jet ski whips around.
So we're doing that, we'regoing.
I flipped, I you know.
I turned as hard as I could.
Thankfully my friend flew offthe back.
(15:48):
And then I do the 180.
In the water.
Water splashes.
You can't see anything becauseit's just misty, water settles.
I'm now looking backwards 180degrees to where I was, and then
my friends on the jet ski rightbehind us are now very, very
close, kind of beelining righttowards us.
(16:11):
So I have about a split secondand I jump off the jet ski right
as they're hitting the otherside of the jet ski.
So thankfully it wasn't like ahead-on collision, but it was
still almost head-on to whereyou know the sides kind of hit
and there was serious damagedone to the jet ski.
Thankfully I jumped off.
My friend had flown off, soneither of us got hurt or
anything, but swam back to thejet ski, saw the damage done and
obviously immediately felt thispit in my stomach of get
(16:35):
invited by my friend, take outher dad's jet ski, crash it.
And how dumb am I Like?
I just feel so dumb.
So anyways, I remember gettingback on the jet ski as fast as I
could, driving it as fast as Ican back to the house and going
right up to her dad saying Icrashed the jet ski, I'll do
whatever, I'll pay for it.
You know, just like I kind ofblacked out, just so nervous,
(16:58):
telling him all this stuff.
Um, my friend comes up to melater like wow, I can't believe
you, just like went right up tohim and said you crashed the jet
ski.
And then my mind's like yeah,that was the easier thing to do
and it kind of separated my mindthe difference between pain and
suffering, and like the painwas the actual, telling him that
(17:21):
hurt, it stung, but the worstpart was like that suffering,
the anticipation, the making upin your mind what's to come.
I hate the suffering, like giveme the pain, let me.
Let me get out of the sufferingperiod as long as possible.
I think the takeaway is so manypeople are there and there's so
many different forms this cantake of the pain of retirement,
(17:42):
I don't know what I want to do.
It's the unknown, there's theuncertainty, so they put it off,
but there's the suffering thatnow they're sitting with and
suffering can maybe be an overlydramatic word in this case, but
not always.
You're sitting there, tooafraid to make the decision, too
(18:02):
afraid not to, and so you justcreate this life of unnecessary
suffering where, yeah, there isgoing to be some pain in some
decisions, there are going to besome things that don't go
perfectly according to plan,there is going to be newness,
but that can also be part of theadventure and the fun and the
experience of it all, dependingupon how you frame it in your
mind.
But embrace the pain, avoid thesuffering, I guess is the
(18:26):
takeaway from some of this.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I love that story.
I get more goosebumps on that,I'd say, equal to the manifesto
that we've put out, and if youguys haven't seen that, make
sure to check that out on ourRoot YouTube channel.
So that's it for this episode.
Please, as always, like thisvideo, comment below if there's
something you learned, whetherit's I'm now scared of jet skis
or, oh my gosh, no, I really dosee the value of finally talking
(18:49):
to my boss or my partner or myspouse about wow, what do you
want your retirement to looklike?
Because here's where I'm at,here's what I'm thinking.
Please go to the community andbe, as be, a participant, but
also go through there and be alittle bit of a detective and go
okay, what are other peoplereally doing?
And, like James said, there'sso many cliche things and
they're cliche for a reason.
(19:10):
So hopefully you guys can takethose to heart, and maybe it's
the 10,000 one time that itfinally hits you.
So so that's it.
Please finally share this withsomeone who you think might
resonate with it.
I said that's it about fourtimes there, so my that's.
It doesn't really have a finalending there, other than I
appreciate all of you guys fortuning in and we'll see you next
time, thank you.
Many of you know, I grew up in Malibu, california, a
very affluent area.
James went to college in Malibu, california, at Pepperdine, and
my dad grew up watching his dadas an accountant and then he
once saw the movie the EndlessSummer and he went my dad's an
accountant, I'm watching theEndless Summer and I'm seeing
people surf and he thought theymade the same money.
(00:20):
So he went.
Why would someone choose to bean accountant over a surfer?
I'm going to be a surfer.
Little did he know that didn'tcome with a ton of financial
benefits, let's just sayRegardless.
My dad fell in love withsurfing and the reason I'm
telling you this story is I grewup in Malibu and my dad said
I'd rather live in a shack inMalibu than anywhere else in the
world, even if it was a mansion.
(00:41):
And my dad gave me great advicealong the way of my journey and
he used to always say, ari,anytime you want something, it
doesn't mean you're going to getit.
And I would get upset and I'dsay why are you telling me that
he goes?
Because I'm the meanest dad inMalibu.
Now you can imagine I grew upin Malibu.
A lot of characters that's mebeing nice, james.
(01:05):
A lot of characters in Malibu,and these characters could be 16
, 17 years old, driving thenicest cars, telling teachers I
don't got to do my homework.
There was a lot of attitude alot of great people as well, of
course, but there was attitude.
So I even regret to this day alittle bit, but I will joke on
YouTube and say I'm the meanestfinancial advisor because I'm
trying to allude to my dad tosay, hey, I'm not just going to
tell you you can retire unlessyou're in a good spot, I'm not
(01:28):
going to.
I also don't want you mad at meif you're 85 with $10 million
going.
Hey, ari, what the heck youtold me I was in a good spot,
like why didn't you give me moreconfidence to retire earlier,
when I had my health, when I hadmy energy?
So my dad's told me a ton oflife lessons.
So have other family members andfriends, but what I want to
talk about today with you, james, is specifically what advice
(01:49):
have we been given that have putus in this position, where we
have?
I don't want to say reachedsuccess, because there's never a
high enough point for that, butwhy are we where we are?
And I'm asking all of you tocontribute as well.
I put this as a thread in ourcommunity, the Root Collective.
So if you're in the descriptionof this YouTube video or
(02:10):
podcast episode, you're going tosee a thread that is a photo of
me and my dad.
You can see we're both not verytall and I'm talking about some
of the lessons that my dadshared with me.
That I'll be getting into today.
But I encourage you all, please.
It's one thing.
If you're hearing from James orI in a YouTube video or podcast
talking about, you know, rothconversion or donor advised
(02:31):
funds or whatever it may be,that lights us up in our
financial nerd brain, but canyou all go share with each other
?
Hey, this was something that Inever knew, but turns out my dad
wish he retired earlier and hepassed away with too much money,
or they just weren't given thisone piece of advice that I wish
I would have seen, or whateverthat may be.
Please go in there.
It makes it way more fun inthat community when I get to see
(02:53):
you guys chatting, so Iappreciate you doing so.
James, is there an advice, apiece of advice from a friend or
family member that comes tomind for you?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, and I love this concept because sometimes we
hear, well, what's the bestpiece of life advice?
And things are so cliche andwhatever.
But I love your idea of go tothe community, share the best
piece of advice that you learnedfrom a parent or whatever,
because almost everyone has apiece of life advice they've
been given.
That's just that does kind ofhit you differently when you
hear it, because there's context, because there's stuff behind
(03:24):
it.
So I I like this.
Um, the thing that first cameto mind when you asked this was
not a piece of advice that wasverbally given as much as it was
, I guess, messaged.
I was a freshman in high school,it was my second year or second
semester, and I had a historyfinal coming up and the way that
(03:45):
it worked was like the finalexam, for whatever reason, was
weighted very lowly in terms ofyour overall score.
You know sometimes like thefinal exam is 40% of your grade
or 30% is some big number whereif you don't do well, you're not
going to do well in the class.
I can't.
It was something like 5% of thegrade or something.
And I remember I was squarelyin A minus territory where I was
(04:08):
thinking through like I coulddo really well in this exam,
where I could totally flunk it,I'm still going to end up with
an A minus.
And I think this was my lastfinal exam.
So I was tired, I was exhausted.
Whatever, I was a freshman, I'drather be doing other things
than studying, doing otherthings than studying.
And it was.
I remember, getting home from, Ithink, a previous final and my
dad asked me what you know whatI had next?
(04:29):
And I said oh, just my historyfinal.
I don't need to study here.
I am Like I'm going to get an Aminus no matter what happens.
And I remember he didn't justsay no, you're going to study,
go study and do it.
He said no, that's not how,like that's not how.
I forget the exact words, butthat's not the attitude we take
towards things.
We are going to give it our all, regardless of what the outcome
(04:49):
was.
And that's easy enough to say,like a parent to tell their kid
go study, I'm going to go watchTV, or I'm going to go relax or
I'm going to go.
Do I remember he sat down withme for like hours at the kitchen
table studying for my historyexam, which had, in my mind,
zero importance because it wasnot going to change the final
grade one way or the other.
And I remember that so vividlybecause I ended up I must've
(05:13):
done pretty well on it, cause Iremember it moved my grade from
an A minus to an A, which when Iwas looking at the math I was
like there's no way, like Ithink that I'm at an A minus
regardless.
But the lesson I learned that mydad didn't just tell me as much
as he exhibited it was we don'tdo things for the outcome, we
do things for the characterbuilding, we do things for who.
(05:34):
It makes us kind of becomealong the way, which can be so
cliche, but it's like if you'rejust attached to the outcome,
sure give up.
Go to the park with yourfriends, go do whatever, go
watch TV.
No need to study because theoutcome's there Versus.
If it's not about the outcomebut it's about you being the
best you can possibly be, whocares if you get a B and who
(05:54):
cares if you get an A, as longas you are doing everything you
can to be excellent here in thispursuit, in this studying for
your final exam.
That's what we're going tofocus on.
So focus on what you're puttinginto it, not what you're
getting out of it.
And I think, even as thatrelates to root, like you
mentioned, yeah, we've had somesuccess.
That's great, but like that'snot what we're focused on.
(06:16):
Is not that?
It's not just how many teammembers do we have, how many
clients do we have, how manywhatever do we have?
We're what we built, I think isreally cool, but I think
there's so much more that we cankeep doing.
What the inputs that we canfocus on.
How can root be the best it canbe?
How can we view this as likethe place for even Ari's
(06:37):
personal expression, my personalexpression advisors put like
this is where everyone gets theopportunity to be excellent, and
it's that, it's that input thatwe're so hyper-focused on.
How can we make this the bestit can be?
Less focused on what growthrate is, how do we compare to
the rest of the industry?
Those are kind of cool things,but they can quickly become
addicting and make you losesight of what actually matters.
So that wasn't verbal advicethat my dad gave me, but for
(07:00):
whatever reason, I remember thatstuck with me as a doing your
best in disconnecting from theoutcome.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
You said cliche a few times, because this could be
cliche, this could be avalueless episode if we just
said, hey, carpe diem, you know,go seize the day.
It's like, hey, everyone saysthat the reality is it's very
different.
The fact that your dad spentthe time to sit down with you,
knowing that it might literallynot change your grade but
reframe your brain.
Maybe he wasn't even thinkingthat, but he just said that's
(07:37):
the right thing to do Shows whohe is.
The biggest moment for me wasmy dad used to say no means get
to work and I just didn'tunderstand what he said.
I went that sounded nice.
He said it with conviction, butI thought no meant no, so I
would go.
And I remember I once wanted myfirst job.
I wanted to make money.
I already was interested inthat because my parents
struggled by not havingfinancial savviness growing up.
So I wanted to help and I wentto get a job and I applied.
(08:01):
I had an interview and theysaid no.
I said okay, so no on to thenext job.
My dad said no means get to work.
What didn't go well?
I said, okay, I get it.
He's trying to be a good dad.
He wants me to look at what Idid in my interview and what
could I have done differently.
And he was saying no, this willnot.
You did not succeed here if youdon't get the job.
And I said, dad, they alreadydeclined me.
(08:21):
And he said that doesn't meananything.
That does not mean that's notavailable anymore.
That just means you're nowbeginning and go start.
And so then I was thinking thatjust means you're now beginning
and go start.
And so then I was thinking okay, what are creative ways that I
can get in front of them?
And I started coming up withnew ideas.
I don't remember what they were, but I remember I once actually
(08:42):
it did eventually relate to you, james, in a far way where I
had an AOL email address.
It was a dumb idea at the time,but I thought maybe they're
going to think I seem moremature or older if I have an AOL
email address, even if I go inand I still look like I've got
all my zits on my face.
So it really didn't apply.
It wasn't thought out well, butit was the thought of oh, just
because someone said no doesn'tmean it's over, it's hey, go
(09:02):
fight for what you want.
So, with that being said, a lotof comments we'll see on YouTube
of people who say, oh my gosh,I wish my spouse would have told
me earlier that they didn'twant to travel because I was
planning my whole retirement totravel.
Or I wish that I had spent moretime not sitting at my desk
because I found out that thatwasn't going to be great for my
health, which then relates to myhiking and retirement, whatever
(09:24):
that may be.
So want to certainly say guys,please go in the community.
It makes it way more fun whenyou do comment, so thank you for
doing that.
And then touching back, james,on that success piece, and
people say oh, did you reachsuccess?
The first thought is how manymillion of people have we
underserved?
And people would say well, youhaven't done anything wrong.
(09:45):
They just maybe don't knowabout you.
I go well, that's us notserving them.
We feel we have a solution to alot of people's problems, and
it's not always working directlywith us.
Maybe it's tuning into a pieceof content, looking at something
differently.
But how many messages have youreceived from people going wow,
if you didn't say this one thing, I would have thought
differently about this for therest of my life.
And we get these notes fromteam members.
(10:07):
Internally, we just had areally fun meeting today.
It's our staff meeting, wherepeople are sharing how a team
member who just got married, thewhole team came together and
put together a little customvideo for them, and they didn't
have to do that.
But we're around these people,which personally motivates me to
do it even more.
So, I think, surrounding thatculture, which a lot of people
(10:27):
use as a buzzword today, butputting real intent behind it
goes a long way.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, agreed.
And then even with the feedbackpeople give I know I am guilty
of this there's a tendency wherefeedback seems too cliche, it's
too trite, it's too whatever.
Focus on what you can control.
Let go of what you can'tcontrol.
Let go of what you can't.
Kind of like yeah, it's almostso simple.
(10:53):
We just dismiss it, almost getupset when people say, because
it's like gosh, so lame, whocares?
I've heard that a million timesand then we, like it takes
sometimes a life experience forus to realize no, that was the
feedback that I needed.
Sometimes we look for the morecomplex feedback.
We look for the thing like it'sjust a firm form of
procrastination where thefeedback for people listening
may prioritize your health,prioritize what are you going to
(11:15):
do in retirement, whatever.
I need something more complex.
I need, like, the mostefficient Roth conversion flip
crud charitable remainder gift,because it gives us something
new to put our focus on, asopposed to addressing the simple
thing, which is sometimes adifficult thing, which is oh,
(11:35):
that lesson is actually reallyprofound.
Maybe there's a reason.
I've heard it 10 million timesin my lifetime.
Maybe it's a 10 million firsttime that I should actually pay
attention to it.
So I think that that is againsomething I know I am guilty of.
But, as people share theirlessons here, don't dismiss
something because it's trite,because it's cliche, because
(11:56):
you've heard it a million timesreally think through.
How do I apply this?
Because I think so much of thework that we do, I think so much
of the work that I even dopersonally.
It's like how do I minimizefuture regrets?
How do you live fully in themoment and minimize?
You were kind of living bydefault, you were living in
automatic mode, you were livingin whatever's easy, whatever's
(12:19):
in front of you, whatever'surgent, as opposed to.
I'm going to shift tointentional mode.
I'm going to shift to manualmode and kind of start doing
things on my terms.
But that takes embracing thesimple questions that are really
difficult to answer sometimesand applying them in a way that
(12:40):
maybe we haven't thought ofbefore.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I've told your story many times, james.
I think it's worth finishingtoday's episode with it when you
were on the jet ski and how youdidn't hesitate and just went
right back to your friend's dadand told him what I'll let you
tell in just a second.
But I know a lot of you willsay it's really hard to retire
because not because I'm notexcited, I am excited but
because this is what I know andthe idea of going to something I
(13:03):
don't know is scary because Idon't know the last time I did
something for the first time.
I mean, I remember, yes, I gotmarried or I went to school or
whatever.
I had my grandbaby, whateverthat is.
But when's the last time youpersonally said I am making a
big shift to my life where Imight I mean you guys can be
very honest.
You know I'm very honest and atransparent person.
(13:25):
It might feel weird to go up toyour coworker and say, hey, so
I'm going to stop working and wemight like not see each other
by the cooler, and we bothhaven't ever said it, but we
both, at 1037 every Tuesday, goand hope that one of us is there
and when we're not there, we'resad, but we don't look sad and
that's weird to bring up.
You need to initiate that,which can be difficult if you've
(13:46):
been in a role where thatreally hasn't it's been unspoken
.
You know you're going to seethem and you know you're going
to miss them, but you don't wantto say it and all these little
hidden things that we can alltalk about.
But unless we actually do takeaction, which is what we say in
our videos of, if you walk awayand go ask your spouse one
question hey, spouse, have Iever said that I'm moving back
(14:06):
my retirement I've had peoplesay like a hundred times like
what's new?
That's just every Friday.
And they're like oh, I justthought I was just telling you
about my day.
Or oh, my gosh, I had no ideathat you didn't want to travel
around the world.
I thought that's like what wewere going to do in retirement.
No, I'm more of a homebody.
You're like okay, well, thatreally changes things, because I
was about to work 10 more yearsso we could do this thing.
That turns out you don't evenwant.
(14:28):
So on that jet ski story, Ijust think it's powerful, james,
if you don't mind sharing it,because it was a moment where
you just did it, and that seemslike it comes from experiences
like the one your dad had withyou about building character.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, I don't know where I learned this initial
lesson, but the story was thiswas my senior year of high
school, got invited out to afriend's place on the river and
this friend had some jet skis,which was awesome.
I don't think maybe I'd riddenjet skis once in my life before
a couple of times, but anyways,it was like this very big, fun,
exciting thing to do.
I get to ride a jet ski on theriver and I get to go hang out
(15:06):
with my friends while we do it.
And we were riding and it wasmyself and my friend were riding
one.
So I was driving, he wassitting on back, and then two
other friends run another jetski, you know, both on the same
one, riding behind us, and wewere going down the river as
fast as we could and I wasn'tpaying attention.
I know how close they werebehind us.
I forget the exactcircumstances, but you know it's
(15:28):
fun to whip those jet skisaround and see if you can throw
whoever's sitting on back offthe jet ski.
So you, you know you go fullspeed, you whip it, you try to
stay on by leaning forward andnot being where the you know the
jet ski whips around.
So we're doing that, we'regoing.
I flipped, I you know.
I turned as hard as I could.
Thankfully my friend flew offthe back.
(15:48):
And then I do the 180.
In the water.
Water splashes.
You can't see anything becauseit's just misty, water settles.
I'm now looking backwards 180degrees to where I was, and then
my friends on the jet ski rightbehind us are now very, very
close, kind of beelining righttowards us.
(16:11):
So I have about a split secondand I jump off the jet ski right
as they're hitting the otherside of the jet ski.
So thankfully it wasn't like ahead-on collision, but it was
still almost head-on to whereyou know the sides kind of hit
and there was serious damagedone to the jet ski.
Thankfully I jumped off.
My friend had flown off, soneither of us got hurt or
anything, but swam back to thejet ski, saw the damage done and
obviously immediately felt thispit in my stomach of get
(16:35):
invited by my friend, take outher dad's jet ski, crash it.
And how dumb am I Like?
I just feel so dumb.
So anyways, I remember gettingback on the jet ski as fast as I
could, driving it as fast as Ican back to the house and going
right up to her dad saying Icrashed the jet ski, I'll do
whatever, I'll pay for it.
You know, just like I kind ofblacked out, just so nervous,
(16:58):
telling him all this stuff.
Um, my friend comes up to melater like wow, I can't believe
you, just like went right up tohim and said you crashed the jet
ski.
And then my mind's like yeah,that was the easier thing to do
and it kind of separated my mindthe difference between pain and
suffering, and like the painwas the actual, telling him that
(17:21):
hurt, it stung, but the worstpart was like that suffering,
the anticipation, the making upin your mind what's to come.
I hate the suffering, like giveme the pain, let me.
Let me get out of the sufferingperiod as long as possible.
I think the takeaway is so manypeople are there and there's so
many different forms this cantake of the pain of retirement,
(17:42):
I don't know what I want to do.
It's the unknown, there's theuncertainty, so they put it off,
but there's the suffering thatnow they're sitting with and
suffering can maybe be an overlydramatic word in this case, but
not always.
You're sitting there, tooafraid to make the decision, too
(18:02):
afraid not to, and so you justcreate this life of unnecessary
suffering where, yeah, there isgoing to be some pain in some
decisions, there are going to besome things that don't go
perfectly according to plan,there is going to be newness,
but that can also be part of theadventure and the fun and the
experience of it all, dependingupon how you frame it in your
mind.
But embrace the pain, avoid thesuffering, I guess is the
(18:26):
takeaway from some of this.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I love that story.
I get more goosebumps on that,I'd say, equal to the manifesto
that we've put out, and if youguys haven't seen that, make
sure to check that out on ourRoot YouTube channel.
So that's it for this episode.
Please, as always, like thisvideo, comment below if there's
something you learned, whetherit's I'm now scared of jet skis
or, oh my gosh, no, I really dosee the value of finally talking
(18:49):
to my boss or my partner or myspouse about wow, what do you
want your retirement to looklike?
Because here's where I'm at,here's what I'm thinking.
Please go to the community andbe, as be, a participant, but
also go through there and be alittle bit of a detective and go
okay, what are other peoplereally doing?
And, like James said, there'sso many cliche things and
they're cliche for a reason.
(19:10):
So hopefully you guys can takethose to heart, and maybe it's
the 10,000 one time that itfinally hits you.
So so that's it.
Please finally share this withsomeone who you think might
resonate with it.
I said that's it about fourtimes there, so my that's.
It doesn't really have a finalending there, other than I
appreciate all of you guys fortuning in and we'll see you next
time, thank you.
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