Episode Transcript
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Jaime Snell (00:00):
welcome to the ECO
Mama podcast.
Today I have the privilege ofspeaking with Alexandra Haka.
She's joined us today to share alittle bit about her mission in
life and her business, which iscalled Life with Herpes.
One day, her life was set intoan upheaval when she received a
call from her doctor.
Informing her that she had beendiagnosed with herpes.
(00:21):
She was shaking.
She felt like her life and hergoals and happiness had gone up
and smoked.
She left with a resolve for anew mission in life to share her
story with people just like her,and to let them know that their
feelings were normal, natural,and that they were not victims
with that mission in mind, shefounded Life with Herpes, an
(00:41):
online community consisting of apodcast, a website, a YouTube
channel, wellness product.
To support the skin conditionsand online community that
provides support, all dedicatedto shattering the stigma of
living with herpes.
So welcome today, Alexandra.
How are you today?
I'm so excited.
Oh my gosh.
(01:02):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We've been talking about thisfor a couple of months, so Yes.
Yeah, so we met at Podcast Festin Florida, gosh, four months
ago now, almost four months ago.
Three and a half at least.
Yeah, something like that.
I'm glad we could finally gettime together to share this
information.
So I've invited Alexandra todayon the ECO podcast to talk with
(01:23):
us a little bit about theeducational side of herpes, the
importance of breaking thestigma, but also as a mama, the
things that we worry about ifour children get it or if we
have it, how to deal with it.
Some of the traditional ways andalso some of the more natural
ways and the difference betweentraditional and natural, what's
(01:43):
more important, et cetera.
So why don't we just go aheadand start, and I will let you
tell us about why you firstbegan sharing with the world,
what your diagnosis is, was, andwhat motivated you to do so.
Kind of what you were talkingabout with my introduction and
you know, I never thought I wasgonna get herpes.
We always had the idea of that,you know, we know who gets STDs,
(02:04):
right?
Or we have this preconceivednotion prior to getting, being
diagnosed with an S T D.
And I was like, well, I'm notthat girl.
I'm not gonna get that becauseI'm not gonna partake in those
behaviors that would get me inthat physician.
And so come to find out it is.
So, I mean, the amount of peoplethat have herpes is.
(02:26):
Astronomical.
And, and it's very actuallydifficult to kind of avoid.
But we can talk about that in asecond.
So, like I said, I was, youknow, 27, 28 years old, and when
I got the phone call from mydoctor, I was just absolutely
suffocated.
I was wounded, I was you know, Iwas embarrassed.
I was angry.
(02:46):
I was scared about.
My future.
I thought that anything that Ihad desired, my hopes, my
dreams, my whatever I wanted inlife, I really thought that was
going, was gone.
That didn't have that optionanymore because now I have this
lifelong s t d because of achoice that I made.
And.
(03:07):
What I learned, so I call it myEOR phase, and Eeyore is the
character in Winnie the Poo andeor.
You know, as we know, he justhas the rain cloud over him.
He's just, life is hard for EORand, and well I'm just doing
what I do best.
Just gonna sit here, you know,EOR.
So I thought to myself, okay, Icannot stay this in this way.
(03:31):
I was turning 30.
I do not wanna be EOR anymore.
And I needed to get my ducks ina row.
I needed to figure it out.
And little by little, I had topick myself up.
I had to crawl out of my, raincloud.
And what I realized is it tookme two years and I didn't want
people.
To also go through life with twoyears.
(03:53):
And as I've talked to thousandsof people since starting life
with herpes in 2017, some peoplestay in their ER phase for their
life.
Some people stay in their ERphase, you know, lifelong.
And they've, they've madedecisions based off of
microscopic virus, but 80% ofthe population has.
And so you have some people thatare like, well, I never got
(04:14):
married because I never thoughtanybody would want me, or I
never had kids.
Wow.
Because I never thought that Icould, or I've talked to parents
that are like, I never did MarcoPolo in the pool, which, I mean,
I can, I can miss out on a fewof those games.
But it's tragic to say I nevergot in the pool with my kids
because I thought that I couldtransmit it in the water.
(04:34):
You know, all these things thatI'm going, oh my gosh, you, you
missed out.
And so I really took it uponmyself to.
Educate the world on it and, andstart teaching people and
getting'em out of their EUphase.
I love that you were motivatedto do that because it is
(04:55):
something that people do notwant to talk about, they shy
away from.
Yeah.
When I was speaking with afriend of mine and how I was
sharing with her that I wasexcited you were coming on and
that I was gonna have you on andshare with, with my audience
also, that I was diagnosed withherpes many years ago.
And we, we'll get into the howand whys of it, but just my own
(05:16):
personal journey, I'm not toosure when I got it because at a
younger age I was diagnosed withH S V.
Mm-hmm.
And from what I understand, andI, maybe you can educate me
because Yeah.
You don't talk to many peopleabout it.
I've understood that herpescould be a, something that's
dormant and come out later inlife if you're diagnosed with
hsv.
(05:37):
Ok.
So even though I did not have anoutbreak until I was married I
really don't know for sure.
You know what I mean?
Like, so, right.
It's.
Chicken or egg, I guess thatwould be a, a thing like which,
which one came first and how didit happen?
But it so eventually did.
And as a mom, like I was justalways nervous.
But I, and here I am going offon a tangent, but I shared with
(05:58):
my friends that I had never toldbefore that I had herpes, but I
was excited to have you on andthat I was excited to talk about
it because I love to talk aboutthings that.
Give us an opportunity to,number one, dispel myths, right?
And help educate ourselves sothat we can be more empowered on
how, on our own health and howwe treat ourselves and take care
of ourselves, right?
But also to get rid of anythingthat's shameful, because life is
(06:19):
too short to be ashamed ofsomething that you cannot
control.
And yes, there are preventativemeasures to begin with, but once
it happens, it happens.
So you have to learn in life as,as you coach your clients.
But she told me two days laterthat the reason she was really
quiet when I disclosed to herthat I have it which I didn't
(06:40):
even notice the pause.
She's like, I have it too, but Iknow I've never really told
anyone.
Mm-hmm.
And I was like, wow, I'm, I'm sograteful for you to be
vulnerable to me.
You know, she told me that, andI, and she was nervous to tell
me to begin with.
But, and I don't even think itwas because of judgment at that
point, because we are goodfriends.
I think it was just more ofshe's always carried that shame
(07:00):
and that stigma that it's notokay to have it.
Mm-hmm.
So I'm just grateful that youlistened to your heart to like
start talking about it andgetting it out there and letting
people know they're not aloneand dispelling those myths.
Yeah.
Cuz you don't wanna miss out onlife or not do things that you
know you were meant to do.
Right.
Cause of that.
Exactly, and it's just, it's acouple of things that hold us
(07:24):
back.
It can be something that welearned generational.
You know, maybe we can look atour, our parents, our
grandparents, and maybe theyhave something that they dealt
with.
So whether that was learned, itcan be societal, right?
We can just look at society.
Society is deemed people withherpes as, ew, gross, you know?
And also it can be cultural.
(07:45):
You know, you can look atcertain cultures and, and
everybody has a differentoutlook on sex, and the majority
of it is taboo.
Mm-hmm.
I yet to really meet a culturethat is like, cool with it.
I think maybe up in the like,You know, like Norway, Denmark,
I think, I actually think Idon't have anybody from there.
So either there's no herpes overthere or it's just like
(08:09):
whatever.
But, but we are just, it is, itis absolutely crushing and Like
I said, you know, the, the virusis, it, it's pretty hard to to
miss.
And when I talk to a lot ofpeople, I'm like, I don't know
anybody with it.
And I'm like, well,unfortunately that's not true.
And yeah, you probably do.
(08:29):
You just don't know they haveit.
Exactly, exactly.
You just don't know that theyhave it.
And.
What's really frustrating, Ithink for a lot of people with
genital herpes specifically, isthey think that's the bad herpes
and or oral herpes, cold sores.
Well, that's, that's, that'sokay.
Like everybody has that.
But I don't have it down there.
(08:50):
Ew.
I wouldn't get it down there.
So, so that's kind of the bigshocker.
And unfortunately what hashappened, the virus has gotten
very smart and the virus its wayto procreate is to obviously
transmit to the next person.
And so it's gotten very smart.
And H S V one, which has moreprominent orally, has now moved
(09:12):
genitally.
So we have people doing thingswith their mouth.
They have oral herpes, they haveherpes.
They don't think that it can betransmitted down there.
And so in those activities, itgets transmitted down there.
And so now HSV one genital isjust as prominent as HSV two
genital.
(09:33):
Wow.
And yeah.
And so especially in our teens,our twenties, those, those age
groups very prominent.
For HSV one and HSV one is farmore common.
Two out of three people have HSVone, which is really common.
So if you think about yourselfand think about your two
parents, Technically, at leastone of you has it.
(09:53):
Oh, my mother.
My mother has it.
She gets the cold source andshe's always had really bad
breakouts when they used to goout in the boat, the son would
be one of her triggers for aline.
Just be one people.
Yep.
And my son my son has it, he'sonly eight years old and he has
HSV one, he gets cold sores.
And the first year I noticed anoutbreak I like was so,
(10:15):
Devastated in a sense.
I was embarrassed, what happenedto him?
How could I let this happen?
Where did he get it from?
Oh my God, could I havetransferred it somehow and left
it on the, you know, used therestroom, washed my hands on the
sink, and then it transferred tohim.
Like, what could it be?
Well, about a year later I hadbefriended one of the moms in
his pre-K class who he was bestfriends with and her son.
(10:40):
Has HS one, HSV one.
And I can almost guarantee I wasnot there.
I was not a fly on the wall, butI have a pretty good feeling.
Best friends in pre-K, you shareeverything, you even share
lollipops, you know?
Right.
And probably just got it fromsipping off somebody else's
drink or bite.
I haven't taken bite of mysandwich or you know, whatever
it, it's, or just playing.
(11:01):
Right.
And so thankfully like timeshowed me that it did not need
to be shameful or.
Or concerned that it was myfault and that, okay, here's the
circumstances and this is how wedeal with it.
But one of the things I was veryexcited about learning from you
today, in addition to theinformation and the stats to
share with the audience is aboutsome natural ways to, to deal
(11:25):
with it.
Like right.
How can you kind of help eitherminimize it?
Cause once you have the virus,it, it's for forever with you.
Is that correct?
I mean, at this point, we don'tknow how to get rid of viruses
from our bodies, right?
Who knows in the future, but aswe know when, if we get a virus,
we have the virus in our body.
We're the host for that, bo forthat virus, for the rest of our
(11:47):
life, all viruses, right?
But eventually they can die out.
They're still there, they cankind of like burn out, you know
what I mean?
Like, they're like, they're justnot as active.
But yes, you have it for therest of your life and for some
people they can be asymptomatic,meaning they just don't get
outbreaks.
And other people are like, what?
(12:08):
You don't get outbreaks?
I get'em every week.
You know?
So everybody's so different.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for that.
So with it being so taboo I'venever really had the
conversation with my son'sfriends or their parents, but
it, it's been, it's not ablessing that he has it by any
means, but it's a blessing thatI have the heart of open
(12:30):
communication with my children,so they all are very familiar
with it, how it can gettransferred now.
So that piece of education wasgiven to my children at a young
age because of his earlydiagnosis, contraction and
outbreak.
And I, I wish that it was, Lesstaboo so that we could teach our
children.
I'd listened to one of yourprevious podcasts where you had
a guest on and she was in highschool and she didn't even think
(12:50):
twice about it.
She didn't even know her friendhad an outbreak and she put on
some of that chapstick and theyshared and shoot a chapstick,
and within 24 hours she had anoutbreak.
It's crazy how fast it works.
And it's horrendous too, becauseit is so painful.
It's such a painful virus whenyou don't go about taking some
of the precautions for theoutbreak.
(13:11):
So speaking of the precautions,like what are some things you
suggest to minimize outbreaks?
So number one, so this virusloves to feed on your stress.
So it's definitely one that ifyou are stressed, if your
cortisol levels are increased,if you're in your fight or
flight phase, if you are lackingsleep, the virus is like, let me
(13:36):
show up.
It like, it loves that, so.
You can look at that in twoways.
You can look at it.
I was like, oh, this thing, shutup again.
Or you can look at it and say,oh, okay, I got this.
What was I doing?
Was I not sleeping?
Was I What was I doing?
You know was I not taking careof my body?
Was I not doing meditations orprayer?
Was I not spending time outside?
(13:56):
So anything you can do to loweryour cortisol, so lower that
fight or flight that's going onyour body, that adrenaline, like
when you feel that adrenalinegoing through your veins, that
is a, like a huge trigger.
And it could be a positiveadrenaline too.
Like let's say you run amarathon Exactly.
You could pro.
So it's not necessarily whenyou're.
Negatively stressed.
(14:17):
It could be a positive stress orlike you've got a job interview
coming up and it's like yourdream job, but your body's still
going under that stress andyour, your quarters are levels,
like you mentioned, we're goingup.
So whether it's good or bad.
Yeah.
Stress.
Yeah.
Our body doesn't know thedifference from, oh my gosh, I'm
so excited.
It's Christmas morning tomorrowto, you know, and that's like
excited and you can't sleep andyou're just so excited that
(14:37):
you're, it's Christmas morningto, to, oh my gosh, I can't
sleep because I'm so stressedabout.
I have a big project duetomorrow and I didn't get it
done.
Like it doesn't know thedifference.
So that's just something to beaware of.
So, so yeah, look at it and say,okay, what have I been doing?
And be aware of that.
So if you know you're going intoa season in your life, maybe
(14:59):
you're an accountant and you'relike, this is the worst year, or
you're, yeah, you work, youknow, worst time of the year for
me, or you work in retail orwhatever, if you know you're
going into a season, just be alittle more cautious with your
body.
And you're, you are your, justbeing aware of that.
That's harder to track,obviously, to stress is
something like everybody has.
We need it to a certain point.
Yeah.
But it definitely does getImpacted it can be a ripple
(15:23):
effect.
Some other things that we cando, and what's really
interesting about this virus isit feeds off of a protein that
is essential to us.
So there's two proteinsspecifically when we talk about
herpes.
There's two amino acid oressential proteins.
So we have arginine is, is is anessential amino acid that Fuels
(15:47):
are, it's so great for ourcardiovascular health.
It's great for our vascularhealth.
It improves your athleticperformance.
So a lot of athletes are givenarginine protein that for, for
their athletic performance, theherpes virus loves it, loves it.
It is this something that thebody naturally produces?
No.
Okay.
(16:07):
That's the thing.
And is it natural or is itsynthetic?
It's natural.
We get it from our foods, we getit.
So it's a natural protein thatis given as like a supplement to
athletes.
Sorry to interrupt, I justwanted to make sure I
understood.
Yeah.
So, so for example, if you're anathlete or, or you know, you,
you do you know, pre,pre-workout smoothie or
pre-workout protein powder orpost-workout protein powder, or
(16:31):
you're a cyclist, so you'regonna go get the, the special
little protein things to eatwhile you're on your a hundred
mile bike ride or whatever,whatever, whatever.
Most of that stuff is added,arginine is added to it because
you, you, your body needs it todo that athletic level.
So we get arginine from foodsthat have that caffeine.
(16:53):
So coffee beans have it nutsour, our pure arginine.
So a lot of times they're like,oh, workout, have nuts.
Or as women, we like to get likethe little Trader Joe packets
and throw'em in our purse,right?
So those are really high inarginine.
Coconut, coconut milk, andcoconut.
The meat Is very high inarginine Peanut butter, very
(17:14):
high in arginine.
So again, you think aboutsmoothies, so they're like, oh,
do you wanna throw in an extrafor like$2?
You want an extra like peanutbutter, or do you want a little
extra?
Do you want some coconutshavings?
Or you want the protein powder?
Cashew cash.
That's all arginine.
Again, it's not bad for us.
We need it, but for the herpesvirus, it is miracle grow.
(17:36):
It allows it to replicate at alarger, faster time on the flip
side, but another essentialamino acid.
Is lysine.
So again, the, when I, when youuse the word essential for the
amino acid, it means that wehave to get it from our food
source.
We don't produce it, but again,we need it.
It's the building blocks of ourentire body, so, so lysine is
(17:59):
excellent for our tendons.
It also helps our bodymetabolize other minerals and
nutrients.
That also is really essentialfor co collagen.
Collagen's also really high inarginine.
So for all those women that arelike, oh, I'm taking collagen
powder.
Oh no, I take collagen powder.
Well, if you're not gettingoutbreaks, that's awesome.
I'm not right now, so I'm good.
Thank you.
It's good to know.
(18:19):
Yeah.
So lysine again, essential.
We need it.
Li the herpes virus cannot standlysine suffocates it, it
prevents it from replication.
It's like now lycine also intomatoes.
Is that what I'm thinking?
There's Lycine and arginine arein tomatoes, so I'll get into,
yeah, I'll get into that.
So, sorry, sorry.
Okay.
No, no, no, that's fine.
So, so things that are high inlycine are fish, shellfish,
(18:44):
protein cruciferous vegetables,so broccoli, cauliflower you can
have asparagus, spinach.
Potatoes are high in lycine,huh?
Brussel sprouts, brusselsprouts, avocados, so, so
basically just, you know,protein, vegetables, fruits.
(19:05):
the stuff that's not the yummystuff, like the chocolate and
the coconut milk and Yeah.
And all that.
So the stuff that's natural ofthe earth without the
processing, right?
So those are gonna be high endlacings.
So you can kinda look at it andyou can, you can, I, I have a
pdf d you can download and ithas listed out what's high in
Lycine.
What's high in arginine?
(19:26):
It's outbreak remedies.com.
It's 21 pages.
You can go through it.
It has.
So much good information.
Great, thank you.
I'll, I'll definitely include alink to that in the show notes.
That's awesome.
Like I said, it's a free, freedownload.
Lots of great information.
So you can kind of look at that.
I have found that the cleaner Ieat, so when I eat clean foods
(19:46):
that are not processed, I canhave coconut.
Because I'm not getting thecoconut smoothie that has the
additive of the, like if I justhave like raw coconut and put it
in my, my bread or something, soI make my breads from scratch.
It's fine.
It's when I'm buying somethingthat's from the store that's
been processed that doesn'twork.
You can take supplements, youcan take lycine supplements.
(20:08):
I take lysine supplements daily.
That's really important for me.
It really, really helps.
So you can take it daily toprevent outbreaks or the
prodrome of the tingles.
You can also take it when youhave outbreaks.
I take more when I haveoutbreaks to help speed up the
recovery.
And so Lycine is more like yournatural solution to Valtrex.
Cause Valtrex is commonly givenfor those and some are told that
(20:31):
they should take one tablet aday for the rest of their life
to prevent outbreaks.
And that just kills me to thinkyou have to take a prescription
drug for the rest of your lifejust to function normally.
So when there's alternatives, Ilike to learn what they are.
And you asked about tomatoes andfor some people I.
Tomatoes are like, I can't evenget near a tomato.
(20:51):
I'll get an outbreak.
Other people are like, like Ican eat all the tomatoes I want
and I don't get outbreaks.
I have a sister-in-law that'slike, I can't even get near a
tomato.
Like I can't even look at it,you know?
Wow.
So when we look, talk aboutnightshades, which are things
that cause inflammation in ourbody For some people with herpes
nightshades can be triggers forpeople.
So those are tomatoes, peppers.
(21:14):
Eggplant and potatoes.
And for some people, again,nightshades are like a world of
a difference and other peopleare like, nah, it's fine.
So again, this is not a hardline in the sand that's saying
you can never have a, a peanutbutter.
Cake or you can never a peanutbutter brownie again.
If you're trading for amarathon, it's in the middle of
tax season and your dad is inthe hospital, the last thing you
(21:38):
wanna do is go and eat thesefoods because it's only going to
feed the stress that's alreadyin your body and Right.
You, unless you want anoutbreak, you know, that would
be a good formula for anoutbreak.
Exactly.
I get it.
And, and there are times andlike, be aware of it, you know,
if, your mom makes the best,peanut butter, chocolate cake,
and that's what you want foryour birthday because your mom
(22:00):
makes it, then be aware and it'sokay.
Enjoy it.
Maybe on some of that lysine,like if you, if you're taking it
as a supplement, take a littlebit extra of that to help
counterbalance.
Does it, is it a counterbalance?
Exactly.
Yeah, it does.
And I'll do that too.
Going into it knowing like, oh,I'm gonna be doing, I'm gonna be
traveling, or I'm gonna be doingthis.
(22:21):
I'm gonna take more.
Another supplement that I havefound, it's new to me in the
last three years, it's nowsomething I live by.
It is called Mono Loren.
And I don't know if anyone hasheard of Mono Loren.
It's, it's originally loic acid,which is found in human breast
milk.
Just human breast milk, notcows, not anything.
And the reason why it wasdiscovered is, How is it that
(22:42):
babies are born?
Some are born in hospitals, avery sanitary situation.
Others are born in, the on theprairie on the floor, it's the
chickens and everything.
How are the barn sur the barn,whatever.
Yeah.
How are they surviving and notgetting sick?
And it's because our breast milkmakes what's called loic acid.
So do coconuts.
Coconuts also make it?
And what it does is it breaksdown an enveloped virus.
(23:03):
So when you have a u, anenveloped virus, Which is the
herpes virus.
The HSV virus is enveloped.
The cold, the flu, covid, thoseare all enveloped viruses.
They have a shell around themlike an egg, and our immune
system cannot penetrate throughthat shell.
So what Mono Lauren does is it.
It disrupts that outer shell,the enveloped virus, it disrupts
(23:25):
it.
So then our immune system can goin and fight that virus.
It can fight what's going on inour body.
So I also take monolo daily.
I, I can give you guys links if,if it's something that you wanna
research and do your own, I'dhighly recommend that.
Of course, before takinganything.
But there's a lot of studiesdone.
For Mono and HSV specific.
(23:45):
Wow.
Yeah, no, I would love those.
I'd love to include those linkstoo.
I mean, I geek out when it comesto research somebody.
Yeah.
Other people.
Some people just wanna listen toit and be told how to fix it.
I like to dig deeper, so I liketo give both options.
Right.
And so we kind of talked alittle bit about lifestyle
again.
What's your stress level like?
Are you sleeping?
Are you, or are you burning thecandle from both ends?
Are you someone that's alwayshectic?
(24:07):
And is that maybe you can takenotice and make little changes
every single day?
I, daily make changes I need tocalm down right now.
And having a sun has been reallyhelpful.
Like today, we spent the morningblowing dandy lions, walking
barefoot.
And that just forces you to slowdown.
You know, so those are justlittle things opposed like, oh,
we gotta go.
We can't, we're have time toblow Dan light.
(24:29):
You know?
Like, no, it's actually reallygood for you to be out in the
sun, sunshine for 10 minutes.
It is just playing.
So, and, and grounding.
I love walking outside there,but, and grounding so.
Mm-hmm.
Let's see.
I was curious also about yourtake on the prescription creams,
and we talked a little bit aboutthe Valtrex, but I know that
(24:50):
there a lot of times when we getsick, a a many people, not as, a
lot of people will go straightto the doctor or call the doctor
or Google, which is not safeeither.
There are things out there thatI'm trying to help people learn
that there are other ways thatyou can do to try to help
prevent or treat, and then if itpersists, definitely seek metal
(25:11):
attention.
I've never Right, always advisedthat.
But your take on theprescription creams and Val Trax
and the method of freezing, Iheard that was, that was one
way.
Some people have it treated,they had it frozen off when they
get.
When I was first diagnosed, Iwas on Valtrex and I went on and
off, on and off.
(25:32):
I then would started datingsomeone different who did not
have herpes, and I was on it forabout three years straight every
single day.
I didn't like taking it.
I didn't wanna take it, but.
It is, it is the best way toprevent transmission to a
partner.
So if you were in that spot,it's like birth control pills.
No one can disagree that taking,you know, a birth control pill
(25:55):
is gonna be more effective thanthe pullout method.
Like you can't disagree withthat.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You get to a point in arelationship where you're like,
okay, I think it's gonna beokay.
But there's might be a time inyour life you're like, I don't
even want to think about gettingpregnant.
So it is gonna be the best wayto prevent transmission to a
partner.
It lessens the transmission rateby 48%.
(26:16):
They give it to you when you'repregnant as well.
If you have been diagnosed withherpes.
They do.
They do it to suppress it duringchildbirth so that you don't
have any breakouts when thebirth comes.
Correct?
Correct.
I no longer take it.
I long term it can be hard onyour body, it could be hard on
your kidneys.
I do not take it daily.
(26:36):
I don't.
Like the idea of taking itdaily.
I don't like the idea of beingforced to take a medication when
your body can get to the pointof suppressing it.
But there are times in your lifewhere you're like, for example,
again, if you're an accountantand you're like, I get one every
single tax season.
Yeah.
I can't, I can't deal with itfor those two weeks.
(26:58):
I totally get it.
Right.
If you're like, Hey, I'm datingsomeone new.
I just don't wanna add that intoit.
I just can't handle it.
Great.
If you're a student and you'relike, during finals, I get
outbreaks every single, singlefinal, like, cool, take it.
If you're like, I try, I get itevery time I travel and I'm
going, it's my honeymoon.
I totally get it.
Yeah.
Like there's times when you'relike, I just can't mess around
(27:20):
with it.
Absolutely.
So there's time and a place forit for sure.
With modern medicine.
Medicine.
Let me ask you this.
So also for, there are some likesteroid style creams and numbing
creams that are out there.
What would be, I think XX is oneof them.
That's one that I've heard andused in the past.
Is there anything that, let'ssay you didn't catch it in time,
(27:40):
you did get an outbreak.
You're doing what you can tohelp.
Help it work through your systemas much as possible, minimizing
your stress, taking the lysineavoiding the, the other one that
you mentioned.
And it hurts though.
It bothers you.
It, it's painful.
So is there a cream that canhelp minimize that pain?
I've never tried the creamspersonally.
(28:03):
What I, I do a little bit morenatural.
So there's things like essentialoils that you can use.
You can use peppermint.
I like tea tree oil.
You could take an Epson saltbath.
Epson salt.
Naturally.
That's what I meant in, inalternative to the creams is
what I was trying to ask.
So I don't use any of thosecreams.
I created a product linespecifically for that
specifically.
Oh, wow.
For the pain.
Specifically to help woundrepair, skin repair antivirals.
(28:25):
So they're, they're allnaturally formulated with
different essential oils,different natural oils, mm-hmm.
To be used on your body to helpwith, again, wound repair, pain,
and all that.
So some of the best ways, EP andsalts, I mean, that just totally
calms your body.
The salts help with the itching,help with the pain.
Lot of my, not all of myproducts, some of'em have C, B,
(28:46):
D in it.
And C B, D, I can't say it.
It helps, it may help those, Ihave to be very specific with my
words here.
It may help with the pain.
It is known to help with pain.
So a lot of my products have Cb, D in them.
But again, I, I use certainessential oils like eucalyptus,
peppermint, those are all somenatural essential oils that
(29:07):
definitely help with the pain.
So if someone were to apply anessential oil, you still would
suggest use a carrier oil on theskin directly?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, not everyone knows that.
So if you, if you do use anessential oil directly on your
skin, you should always need a,a carrier oil.
It could be olive oil, it couldbe coconut oil, avocado oil.
Just something that will kind ofhelp dilute it and protect your
(29:28):
skin at the same time that it'shealing it.
Absolutely.
Mm-hmm.
So, all right, cool.
Well I think the only otherthing that I really wanna touch
on is, Parents, the fear givingit to their children.
Ah, so I can talk on this?
Yes.
So, and I'll give you a, aspecific example for myself real
(29:49):
quick.
My outbreaks are on my outerthigh.
Okay.
And so when I sit down on thetoilet, it is right there on the
toilet.
Okay?
My outbreak is, And so then Ifreak out and I'm like, I've
gotta clean the toilet reallygood.
And I don't want him to sit downto go to the bathroom and then
it can transfer easily.
And so what is your advice forus moms that worry about that?
(30:13):
So a couple of things.
I like to say that because a lotof people like, well you, cuz I
have oral and genital, I haveboth.
And people say, well, do youtake baths with your son?
Do you kiss your son?
Do you, when I say Yes, I dobecause I.
Truly believe the harm in notkissing my son or not doing
those natural things that you dowith, as a mom.
(30:33):
I feel like that's gonna be a,a, a bigger issue in his life
than him getting herpes.
I can't prevent him from beingexposed to herpes.
It's out there like, like whathappened with your son?
He can go to school, he can goto someone's house.
Alexandra Harbushka (30:45):
I love the
question about how do we handle
it as a mom with our kids,because it's definitely a fear
that we have.
We don't, because we are theones with the shame.
We're the ones that have theidea that this herpes virus is
shameful and wrong and oh mygosh, the guilt of giving it to
my child because of something Idid wrong to get it right.
And, and so that's kind of what,what happens.
(31:05):
And so, One of the things that Irealized, I have both have HSV
one oral, I have HSV twogenital.
I have both of them.
And people ask me, do you kissyour son?
Do you get in the shower or thebath?
Do you, do you do those thingswith your son?
And I say, absolutely, becauseit's gonna do more harm to my
son if I don't do those things.
(31:27):
Then if.
Then if I try to preventtransmitting herpes to him, and
as we know my little boy, yourlittle boy, our children are
gonna go out into the world andthey're going to.
Pick up someone's juice box.
They're gonna share a piece ofpizza, they're gonna share a
beer, they're gonna be kissed bya relative.
They're gonna be kissed bysomeone that has it and, and
(31:49):
it's out there so that you asthe mom, are not the only person
in the world that has it.
You're not preventing your childfrom this one virus.
That is the worst virus in theworld.
Your child's gonna go out intothe world and and be exposed to
it.
So I, as the mom feel, again,not kissing my son, not sharing
these things are gonna be farworse than accidentally
(32:11):
transmitting it to him.
And when he was a newborn, hewas like six months old.
I got an oral outbreak.
I hadn't had one in years, and Igot an oral outbreak and I
kissed my son.
And I didn't know I had it.
It started off I put lip lineron and I went to the beach and
we got back from the beach and Iwas giving him a shower at a
(32:32):
friend's house right by thebeach.
And I gave him, you know, kissesall over his body because he is
just six months.
Jaime Snell (32:39):
Yes, they are.
Alexandra Harbushka (32:41):
They smell
so good at it.
Oh yeah.
And I just gave him kisses allover his body and I had the
beginning of an outbreak.
Oh.
And I had no idea and I atsomeone else's house and I
freaked out and I like go to myhusband like, we have to leave
now.
Like we have to leave and I, atthat point, I've never wanted to
(33:01):
harm myself ever.
I've never had those feelings,but I felt that I wanted to harm
myself because I was such a badmom in my mind at that point
that I potentially infected myson.
I was careless.
I wanted to kiss my son.
I wanted to cuddle my son, and Iwas being irresponsible.
And I had those thoughts.
I couldn't look at him for 24hours.
I was like, I told my husbandlike, I can't feed him.
(33:23):
I can't hold him.
He, I don't deserve to be hismother.
Like it was bad.
Wow.
It was bad.
And I woke up the next day and Iwas like, enough, you can, you,
your little boy loves you morethan anything in the world.
You are the perfect mother tohim.
He doesn't want anybody else.
He doesn't care if you haveherpes.
He doesn't care if you gave himherpes.
(33:44):
You know, he just wants you and,and that's all that he needs.
And when I kind of realizedthat, I was like, oh, okay.
My son has never had anoutbreak.
I don't think that he has it.
I haven't tested him for him.
I'm not gonna test him for it.
He's exposed to it.
Of course he is.
But he's gonna be exposed to itregardless.
So I understand where you'recoming from as like the toilet,
(34:06):
it's an area that he can touch,but the virus is skin to skin.
It really likes skin to skin.
So can it live on a toilet seat?
For a little bit of time.
Yeah.
Can it live there all day?
No.
Good.
So would it be immediately, likeif you got, so I, I have my tea
in my cup here.
If I had an oral outbreak andtook a sip right here on my tea
(34:28):
and gave you a sip right afterOn the exact same spot?
Like a cigarette, like awhatever, you know, like
something that's like back toback.
Yeah.
That's why a lot of girls inlike the sorority house or you
know, they end up all getting itcuz they pass around the
lipsticks.
Jaime Snell (34:44):
I'm glad you say
that cuz I have always
encouraged my girls to not shareeye products.
Like I've never let them use mymascara or my eyeliner when they
started playing with makeup andwhen they started getting old
enough.
This Christmas actually, theygot their first of their own and
they're not allowed to share itand we know what the outbreak
is.
I, as I mentioned, But you couldeasily share something, not
(35:06):
realizing you had an outbreak,
Alexandra Harbushka (35:08):
right?
Or not
Jaime Snell (35:09):
really.
Somebody else was going throughan outbreak.
So they just shouldn't share nomatter what with lips or eyes?
Well, eyes for, for its ownviruses or, and, and stuff that
can be transferred, but lipsjust no, no chant.
Gotcha.
Right.
Alexandra Harbushka (35:22):
Like, yeah,
I, I try to teach my son not to
share drinks and I'm like, I tryand, you know, Those types of
things.
Just, just mommy and daddy, youknow?
I would when I have myoutbreaks, do I get in the bath
with him?
No, of course not.
Do I, you know, am I verycareful about my towel?
Yeah.
You know am I careful if Itouch, if it, if the outbreak
touches something if it can becleaned, do I clean it?
(35:44):
Yeah.
But I, don't, again, if I touchit and things like I wash my
hands and that's it.
I don't wash and then wash andthen wash and then wa right.
I have gone that route.
Yeah.
It doesn't help anybody because
Jaime Snell (35:59):
again, well, you
would burn out.
You would burn out and breakdown, and it's not worth it.
And
Alexandra Harbushka (36:05):
we're not
the only people that your
child's gonna come in contactwith that has it true.
So you can't,
Jaime Snell (36:11):
you mentioned
something in the beginning about
swimming in a swimming pool thatsome mamas wouldn't even go in
the pool or their hot tub withtheir kids if they had an
outbreak, cuz they were afraidof transferring it.
Is that, is that a myth?
Alexandra Harbushka (36:21):
If you go
to any public pool, I mean,
there's hundreds of people inthe pool.
Like there's people withoutbreaks in the pool.
Jaime Snell (36:28):
I have one final
question for you.
Yes.
You get to work with people whojust found out about it, and you
get to help educate them and letthem know that they're not
alone.
And then those, some of thosepeople actually probably turn
into friends over the long time.
But you guys come into acommunity and you share, and you
learn and you grow together.
So when you get to serve youraudience, what is your favorite
thing or the most rewardingthing about serving
Alexandra Harbushka (36:50):
your
audience?
So I get really excited, and Iknow this sounds, this doesn't
sound, this is not gonna comeout right.
But when I see people cry, I getreally excited because I know
that on the other side of thosetears is a beautiful experience.
So I'm not excited when they'recrying, of course, like they're
(37:12):
in pain.
Their, their heart is bleeding.
They are bleeding.
Like they're, they're, they'rein pain.
They have been ripped open andbetrayed and hurt and all of
that.
But I am so excited about thetransformation that happens and
not everybody wants to make thattransformation and right, and
(37:32):
they will stay in that ER phase,but the people that want to make
that transformation are thepeople that have found my
community and whether they knowit or don't know it, but they
are gonna transform.
And what they're gonna realizeis, Wow.
I completely grew from thisexperience and had I not gotten
herpes mm-hmm.
I would've been on a completelydifferent traject trajectory and
(37:55):
it probably wouldn't have endedwell.
So whether that means standingup for yourself, whether that
means making boundaries foryourself, whether that means
finding that you are extremelyconfident and giving and getting
herpes made you more confident,which sounds like an oxymoron.
Like what?
Confident, whether it's, so youfind all these things that, that
we say, well now I have herpes.
(38:16):
I can't do this.
And I love to ask people, well,tell me about before you had
herpes, like, did you still feelyou couldn't do that?
Yeah.
And they're like, yeah.
I said, so herpes isn't theissue.
Yeah.
Jaime Snell (38:27):
It just becomes an
excuse.
So it's, it's just a process oflearning to learning to love
ourselves and to find exactlywhat is good inside of us.
It's not about what's
Alexandra Harbushka (38:35):
outside of
us.
Exactly.
So it's, yeah, whether peopleget into shape, whether people,
you know, get on a health kick,whether they set boundaries with
dating, whether they change theway they date.
Mm-hmm.
There's so many things thathappen and it's just this huge
butterfly effect.
And so I get really excited whenI see, I'm like, okay, you're
(38:56):
gonna change the most.
Yeah.
So, no,
Jaime Snell (38:58):
I, I think that
makes total sense.
And, and I don't see anything.
You know, weird or, or sad aboutthat at all?
Because you think, so basicallywhen you're saying that once you
see someone kind of break downand have that, that sadness and
that, it's almost like its ownsurrender, right?
And when you think of thosetears, that other side can't
come without the tears, justlike a sunny day can't have a
(39:21):
rainbow without the rain.
Exactly.
So I think it's just part of thenatural course and you know how
beautiful it is once they hitthat point.
Mm-hmm.
So I, I see the beauty in that.
I commend you exactly.
For holding onto that and, andlooking for that when they're
ready and then you're therewaiting for them.
Alexandra Harbushka (39:37):
Exactly.
Well, thank you
Jaime Snell (39:40):
so much, Alexandra,
for your time today.
You're welcome.
We will I'll make sure to putall that information that she
mentioned in the show notesbelow, but just, and I'll put
how to find you in there, butjust for our audience that's
listening, how can they get intouch with you if they have more
questions?
How can they find out about yourfabulous natural products and
creams?
And then how can they join yourcommunity if they're interested?
Alexandra Harbushka (40:01):
So go to
life with herpes.
Whatever your vice is, if youare a YouTube, if you are a
podcast listener, if you are anInstagram or if you're a
Pinterest, if you're a TikTok,whatever it is life with
herpes.com.
You can find me out.
They name all platforms.
All the platforms.
Yay.
So you'll, you'll find a lot ofinformation there.
Like I said, I have that freeresource, the 21 page ebook,
(40:24):
outbreak remedies.com.
You can go there, you candownload it for free, and you'll
learn about my products and allthat stuff.
And I'll make sure to you getthe links for the.
The Laina Monon so that you guyscan Oh yeah.
So we
Jaime Snell (40:38):
can read a little
bit more about it for those that
want to do more, more research.
So, well, thank you again.
I'm so grateful for you takingthe time to join us today.
And thank you listeners forjoining us, and I look forward
to seeing you again next week.
Thanks.