109 - Post Hinchcliffe World (feat. Daddy Yankee)

Japan is so cool that I've decided to enlist 

I got a testicle massage and it was amazing (not sexual)

There's a type of massage called "Japkasai" which is a THERAPEUTIC massage where a woman massages your groin, inner thighs, "taint", and of course, testicles. It was 14,000 yen for a 60 minute testicle massage. Here's the process.

Arrive, take shower, 20 minutes spent massaging groin, taint, inner thighs, then 40 minutes of pinching and rubbing and massaging testicles and pushing energy up the shaft. To be clear again, this is NOT sexual, although she sometimes does rub your penis in order to move the energy from the testicles up the shaft.

The first half is extremely painful. You know how there are knots in your legs, backs, etc when you haven't gotten a proper massage in a while? Well imagine your groin, which has probably never gotten a deep tissue massage, ever. There were actually knots in my groin area that she broke up with powerful rubbing and it almost made me cry out in pain. She broke through the knots and then moved to the ball sack.

The balls massage is actually somewhat pleasurable. She's basically just massaging and kneading your balls and getting the blood to flow for 40 minutes, it doesn't really hurt that much.

The results were astounding. After I got home and relaxed a bit, I checked my balls and noticed that they had increased in size by nearly 50%. They weren't in pain or swollen, I think it's just blood flow that has been improved.

Also, I woke up with a RAGING erection this morning, felt like I was 15 again (I'm 32). I highly recommend this vitalizing therapy to people. The funniest part is that I told my girlfriend (who still lives in America but is planning to join me soon) that I was thinking about getting a ball massage and she thought it was hilarious. When I told her I actually got one, she was kind of shocked that I actually got it but laughed when I told her about the experience. Then at night, she randomly called me and said she was ultra pissed that I allowed another woman to touch me and see me naked... despite me telling her over and over again that the woman is sixty years old and that this is not a sexual massage. Women, lol.

In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨‍⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻‍♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻‍💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻‍♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!