#10. Stop Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone: Start Expanding Who You Are

What if the real block isn’t leaving your comfort zone, but believing you have one in the first place? We explore a gentler, more powerful approach to growth: living as expansion. Instead of muscling through fear, we look at how language, identity, and energy can shift the way you move through your day so progress feels safer, more aligned, and actually sustainable.

I share how a single phrase - “stepping outside my comfort zone” - felt small and constricting, and how replacing it with “I’m expanding into this” changed my choices and calmed my nervous system. We unpack the psychology behind comfort zones, where it helps and where it hardens into a limiting identity. You’ll hear a simple metaphor for dissolving edges without burnout, and why the body responds differently when you frame growth as expansion rather than threat.

We also dig into practical tools you can use right away: micro expansions that compound into big shifts, a body check to discern danger vs. expansion, and a morning question that anchors you in your highest self. I walk through my “alter ego” practice and how living in her for one decision can change your frequency, your tone, and your outcomes. The aim is less forcing, more allowing; less proving, more becoming.

If this conversation lands for you, share it with someone who’s ready to stop shrinking and start widening the perimeter of who they already are. Subscribe, leave a review to help others find the show, and tell me: what imagined boundary will you dissolve today?

🦋 Would you like help walking through these steps, or with accountability, or deeper dives into these topics? Interested in learning more about working 1:1 with me to transform your life in your rediscovery? Schedule a free Discovery call with me here: https://stan.store/edgeofreal

🎧 Follow Edge of Real on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. And share this episode with a friend who you would like to help.

✨ Find me on Instagram @edgeofrealpodcast

📌 Leave a review, then email us a screenshot at [e-mail] and we will send you a beautiful free digital journal to help you work through some of your thoughts and get some clarity about what you truly want out of your life.

📹 Photo by Rob Merritt – used with permission.

🎵 Theme Music: Home by Vlad Gluschenko @vladest_art — Home

License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported: ...

Episode Transcript

Kristin (00:07):
You're listening to Edge of Real, a podcast for
women rediscovering who theyreally are, beyond rules, roles,
timelines, and expectations.
I'm Kristin Hamilton, and I amso glad you're here.
Thank you for taking the timein your day to be a part of our
Edge of Real family.
Hello, hello.
Today I want to talk aboutsomething that has been on my

(00:30):
mind for several weeks now.
And I want to lead you into theideas as I myself was led into
them.
So recently I sent some of myfriends an update on some new
things in my life.
And I started it with, I havestepped way outside of my
comfort zone.
So I fussed with the wordingfor a stupid long time, and it

(00:54):
wasn't really feeling right.
Um, and I didn't know why.
Eventually, I just decided toleave it alone and I sent it.
But I kept having this naggingfeeling and this kind of
constriction in my throatwhenever I would think about it,
and I kept returning to it andrereading.
And every single time I wouldthink, this doesn't really

(01:17):
explain how I'm truly feelingabout this.
I came to realize that thewording of stepping outside my
comfort zone was what wasfeeling off and not feeling
accurate.
It felt constricting and small,and that was not at all how I
was feeling.
I was feeling on top of theworld, excited, expansive, and

(01:40):
that was it.
That started this whole new wayof seeing things for me.
It felt like freedom.
It didn't feel like I wasforcing my way out of my comfort
zone.
I realized I didn't want toeven have a comfort zone.
That felt too constricting andconfining because I had already

(02:02):
become the woman who didn't needto shrink anymore.
And defining a comfort zonefelt like I was keeping myself
small.

So now I've come to believe: what if the problem isn't that (02:09):
undefined
we need to step out of ourcomfort zone, but that we've
defined one in the first place?
Because when we tell ourselvessomething is outside our comfort
zone, what we're really sayingis there's this invisible line
between who I am now and who I'mallowed to become.

(02:32):
Maybe every time we say, that'snot comfortable for me.
We're unconsciously keepingourselves smaller than we really
are.
So today we're going to talkabout what it means to live as
expansion, not forcing, notstriving, but allowing yourself
to grow beyond the boundariesyou've imagined.

(02:54):
The whole concept of a comfortzone originally comes from
psychology.
It was meant to describe howpeople perform best when they're
just slightly challenged, butnot overwhelmed.
And that makes sense in theory,but I think it has become this
rule that we now live by.

(03:14):
This is who I am.
This is what I'm capable of.
And everything beyond that isscary or unsafe.
And once you label something asoutside your comfort zone,
you've already created a wallseparating you from your own
potential.
So I believe that the very ideaof comfort zones limits us.

(03:36):
And for me, that limiting wallused to look like I'm not the
kind of person who speaks upfirst.
I'm not brave enough to do thatyet.
That's just not me.
But the truth was, it was me.
It just wasn't the version Iwas comfortable letting the
world see yet.
And when I started to noticethat, everything shifted because

(04:00):
it wasn't that I needed to stepout.
I needed to stop limitingmyself as to how I was defining
what was comfortable in thefirst place.
I also find that this helps meto feel more regulated because
how we feel challenged changeson a day-to-day basis.
Some days I feel more able toexpand, while others I may

(04:22):
choose to just be that day.
But that's no longer a feelingof being unmotivated or down on
myself.
It feels more like a consciouschoice because expansion isn't
something you chase.
It's something you become.
You don't have to keep yourselfconfined inside a space that

(04:44):
is, quote, comfortable or thatneeds to be broken out of.
You just soften it until itdisappears.
You don't have to push yourselfinto something new.
You allow yourself to unfoldinto more of who you already
are.

So I think of it like this: instead of standing inside a (05:00):
undefined
circle trying to forcefully pushthrough the border, imagine
continuing to just walk theperimeter, trailing your fingers
along and expanding it widerand wider as you go until
eventually it's wide openbecause you are always expanding

(05:22):
and there is no edge to definewhere you stop.
That, I believe, is the energyof living as expansion.

And here's why it works: because energetically and (05:30):
undefined
scientifically, as we'vediscussed, everything is energy.
You, me, the conversations wehave, the emotions we feel, the
thoughts we think.
When you define yourself assomeone who's constantly growing
and expanding, your body, yournervous system, your frequency

(05:54):
all begin to align with thattruth.
The universe doesn't respond towhat we want, it responds to
what we are.
It's like tuning a radio.
Once you're on the rightfrequency, the signal becomes
clear.
You don't have to force it, youjust become it.
So when you are expansion, whenyou see yourself as someone who

(06:17):
naturally grows and evolves andopens to more, you begin to
attract experiences that matchthat energy.
Versus when you define acomfort zone to either be in or
out of, your energy, bydefinition, then has boundaries
applied to it.
So there's a little game I playwith myself that helps me to

(06:41):
anchor this energy.
And I've mentioned it before,but I think it's really, really
relevant here.
And I call it my alter ego.
So I envision and feel intothis version of myself as I want
to be and as I am without thelimiting beliefs and the keeping
myself small.
So really she is my highestself.

(07:03):
She's passionate, grounded,radiant, magnetic, smart, funny,
bold.
I trust her and respect her andlove her as much as I do my
best friends.
She reminds me who I am when Iam fully expanded.
She doesn't see limits.
She doesn't need a comfortzone.

(07:24):
She knows who she is and shemoves through life from that
place.
So when I embody her energy, Inaturally make different
choices.
I speak differently, I movedifferently, I believe
differently.
Because once you start livingas the expanded version of
yourself, the smaller versionsjust starts to dissolve.

(07:46):
And it's not that I no longerhave limitations to face or that
I don't still have things thatscare or even terrify me.
It's that I'm no longerdefining myself as having a zone
that keeps me within certainboundaries that keep me thinking
small.
So, how do you start doing thisin your everyday life?

(08:10):
Couple practical tools forliving as expansion.
Number one, notice yourlanguage.
Catch yourself when you say,that's outside my comfort zone,
or I need to step outside mycomfort zone and instead try
saying, I'm expanding into that.

(08:31):
Your nervous system hears thedifference and it feels safer.
Number two, practice microexpansions.
And these don't have to be bigleaps.
They can be something as muchas speaking up in a meeting,
wearing something that makes youfeel bold, saying no to what

(08:53):
drains you, trying somethingyou've always wanted to do.
Each one of these microexpansions is a vote for the
woman who already is expansion.
Number three, tune into yourbody.
When something feelsuncomfortable, pause and ask, is

(09:14):
this danger or expansion?
Sometimes your body'sresistance is just an old story
trying to protect you.
Number four, anchor youridentity.
Each morning, ask, what wouldmy expanded self choose today?
And then follow that energy,even if it's in small, small

(09:37):
ways.
So a journal prompt.
What boundaries have I imaginedthat I can dissolve today?
You might be surprised how manyof those boundaries were never
real to begin with and were justlimitations that you were
putting on yourself when youwere in a time of staying small.

(10:01):
So maybe the question isn't howdo I step out of my comfort
zone?
Maybe it's how do I stoppretending I have one in the
first place?
You don't need to step outsideor break through.
You can expand gently andsteadily and authentically,

(10:22):
because living as expansionmeans trusting that you've
already become it and now it'stime to live it.
If you're here, I think you areready to expand into your next
chapter, not by pushing harder,but by learning to trust and
embody your most aligned self.
If this episode resonated, Iwould love to hear what part

(10:46):
landed most for you.
You can share it on Instagramand tag me at edge of real
podcast.
And also share this withsomeone else who you know would
benefit from this conversation.
Until next time, stay open,stay curious, keep expanding.
You are so much bigger than anycomfort zone.

(11:06):
And remember, you're not lost.
You're on the edge of somethingreal.
Love you.
Bye-bye.
If what we talked about todayfeels close to home, if you're
tired of dimming yourself down,second guessing every decision,
or feeling like you've losttrack of who you really are, I

(11:26):
want you to know you don't haveto figure it out alone.
This is exactly the work I dowith women in my one-to-one
coaching experience.
Together, we talk throughwhat's keeping you stuck,
reconnect you with the truestversion of yourself, and create
simple, empowering steps thathelp you move forward with
clarity, confidence, and a clearpath.
Knowing the steps is one thing,but actually walking them out

(11:50):
is another.
That's where coaching becomesso powerful.
I'll be there to help you stayaccountable, to support you when
old habits try to pull you backand to keep you moving forward
even when the path feels foggy.
Sometimes we all need a guide,someone who can hold the mirror,
remind us who we are, and walkalongside us until we're steady

(12:12):
in that truth ourselves.
If you've been listening andthinking, yes, that is what I
need, I'd love to invite you tobook a free discovery call with
me through the link in the shownotes.
I'd love to meet you and walkthis path of rediscovery with
you.
Because the edge isn't the end,it's the becoming