February 17, 2025 • 59 mins
What happens when a single conversation can redefine your entire career path? Angela Kelly, a dedicated educator and leadership coach, shares her inspiring journey from a brief stint in studying finance to discovering her true calling in education. Her story is one of transformative growth, beginning with the Upward Bound program, which set her on a path to become the first in her family to attend college. Angela’s experience underscores the importance of mentorship, mindset shifts, and the power of aligning one’s career with personal passions.
Angela takes us through the challenging transition from teaching to school leadership, highlighting the obstacles she faced while earning administrative credentials and competing for principal roles. Her narrative is a candid reflection on the trials of opening a new school as a first-year principal, tackling everything from construction woes to personal struggles as a single parent. Through perseverance and the discovery of life coaching, Angela emphasizes the value of seeking support and integrating new skills into one’s leadership identity amidst complex professional dynamics.
In a world where school leaders often feel isolated, Angela’s insights foster a spirit of community and connection. From her emotional regulation techniques to the introduction of the STEAR cycle, designed to help principals manage their thoughts and emotions, Angela provides practical guidance for aspiring and current educational leaders. By sharing her experiences and the importance of building supportive networks, Angela offers a beacon of empowerment for those navigating the multifaceted challenges of school leadership. Tune in to explore Angela’s story and discover strategies to empower your leadership journey.
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Episode Transcript
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Principal JL (00:00):
Today I got to sit down with a special person that
has helped me in my owneducational leadership journey.
Let's all agree that being aneducational leader is tough.
There's no doubt about it.
But what if you didn't have tochoose between success and
balance?
What if three things can betrue at the same time?
(00:21):
You can enjoy being a schoolleader, you can be great.
At the same time, you can enjoybeing a school leader, you can
be great at school leadershipand you can spend more time with
your family without feelingoverwhelmed.
Well, you ask how?
Well, I'll tell you how,through Angela Kelly Coaching.
Today I am joined by AngelaKelly, the creator of the
(00:44):
Empowered Principal Podcast andthe Empowered Principal Life and
Leadership Coaching Program.
She's a former teacher,principal and district
administrator with over 25 yearsof experience in education.
As a certified life andleadership coach, angela has
made it her mission to helpschool leaders create
exceptional results whileactually enjoying the leadership
(01:08):
journey.
In this episode, we're divinginto the mindset shifts,
strategies and support systemsthat allow school leaders to
thrive in their roles withoutburnout.
If you've ever wondered how tolead with confidence, balance
your personal life and trulylove what you do, this
(01:29):
conversation is for you.
Let's get this episode startedwith Angela Kelly.
All right, everybody.
Today we have a special guest.
This special guest is somebodythat is near and dear to my
(01:52):
heart, because they kind ofhelped me out as a principal
throughout my journey.
So I'd like to welcome to theshow Angela Kelly.
Welcome.
Angela Kelly (02:01):
Hi there, jeff.
It's so good to be here.
Thank you for having me on theshow
Hey, Angela, I wanted to kindof get things started here with
just kind of talking about yourjourney in education.
So tell me about how you goteducation.
What is the reason that got youto become a teacher in the
first place?
(02:21):
Wow, that goes back a few decades.
So you know, like any kidcoming out of high school, the
big question is what are yougoing to do with your life?
And for me, I actually need tostart back into middle school.
So I was in middle school, Iwas had moved a lot and there
(02:44):
was this presentation in our youknow theater and it was called
Upward Bound and it was aprogram that was designed for
students of families who had not.
They're the first generation ofstudents to potentially go to
college, so nobody in my familyline prior to me had attended a
(03:08):
four-year university and youalso had to meet certain
requirements financially.
So my family fit thesefinancial goals and by the end
of eighth grade I signed up forthis program called Upward Bound
.
It was at Iowa State University.
I was born and raised in Iowaand it was the game changer for
(03:29):
my life, because I don't knowthat I actually had sights on
going to college.
I didn't really contemplatewhat my future would look like.
It was that life was justhappening and I was just going
through the motions of being akid and going to high school.
And then this happened and Istarted thinking about my future
, actually thinking about what Iwanted when I grew up, the kind
(03:53):
of career I wanted to have, andI went through Upward Bound for
five years.
So from the summer of eighthgrade, clear through the summer
of the year I graduated.
So five summers, instead ofbeing the kid who you know went
to movies and hung out with herfriends and went out on dates, I
was going to college.
I was going to school throughthis program.
(04:15):
The first couple of years theyare prep courses to prepare you
for the rigor of college andthen the last three years you
start taking actual classes withother college students while
you're in high school and thenyou have an intense amount of
preparation and support andtutoring to ensure, because if
you're going to get anythinglower than a C, they kind of
(04:35):
pull you because they realizeyou might not be ready.
So I was able.
By the time I graduated highschool I had a semester of
college credit and that was soinvigorating and so motivating.
I had this momentum going where, like, I started to identify as
somebody who could actually goto college and get a degree.
I have to highlight thatbecause that program really did
(05:00):
change my life and I credit theUpward Bound program to creating
a vision for my adult life andmy future.
So I have to give a shout outto Upward Bound.
And then when I got intocollege I actually my dad was
like, well, you should go intofinance.
That just sounds veryprestigious and you're really
good at math.
And I took one semester.
(05:20):
I hated it.
I was falling asleep in theclass.
I remember in economy class Islept through a quiz.
It was just bad, it was badnews.
And I was sitting down with somefriends over the summer and
they were asking how collegewent and I said, well, it's okay
.
But I wasn't fired up.
I was more fired up about thesocial scene and being away from
(05:44):
family and being a littleindependent college student than
I was actually my future andlearning.
And I had a very profoundconversation about what did I
want to do, what did I love todo?
That conversation it came uplike I love kids.
(06:09):
I babysat from a very young age.
I loved being around kids, theylit me up and I loved school.
So I think the combination oftruly loving school as a student
I always played school, Iplayed the teacher and combined
with my, you know, young adultlove for children and I would
say too, I really wanted toimprove the experience of school
(06:31):
for students, and not that Ihad a bad experience, but you
know, I grew up in the 70s and80s, so there were things that
we could do to improve theexperience of students and the
emotional experience thatstudents had and in addition to
the style of learning that wedid.
(06:52):
So that really thosecombinations of of events in my
life drew me into teaching andthe minute I shifted into from
finance into into education, itwas like luck.
I knew right then I was lockedloaded.
This was my life, I loved it,ready to go, and that was it.
(07:14):
I never looked back and I endedup getting my early childhood
credential along with myelementary teaching credential
Principal JL (07:22):
Right, as a teacher.
How long were you a teacher?
You know?
Angela Kelly (07:26):
I taught two years in Minnesota.
So I graduated from Iowa State.
We moved up to Minnesota.
I taught pre-K.
It was a birth through gradeage five, early childhood
program.
I was the teacher and thecoordinator for two years there.
My husband and I moved out toCalifornia in 95.
For two years there, my husbandand I moved out to California
in 95.
And I taught at the same schoolfor about 15 years.
(07:48):
So I taught primarilykindergarten.
It's my love language iskindergarten and I also taught
first grade and then I became aninstructional coach.
I was a reading specialist so Idid, you know, different seats
on the bus, but I was definitelyelementary, really profound
love for early literacy andearly childhood development and
(08:08):
just the social-emotionaldevelopment of children and I
really loved working withparents.
That's why I chose kindergarten, because you can just you get
to bring them in and you get tocultivate them and their
experience.
And that was really importantfor me to set the stage for
these families to have apositive experience with their
school and to really love theschool that they were sending
their children to.
(08:28):
So I did that for 15 years andin the meantime I'm going to say
, like around 12, 13 years intoteaching, I felt this desire for
more.
But you know, let's be honeston the podcast here.
(08:51):
You know, when you're a teacherand you're like it's teachers,
they have their mindset,perspective, and then admin.
And as a teacher, you'relooking at the admin, like I
don't know about that, I don'tknow if I want to go to the dark
side.
I don't know that I couldhandle it.
You know, deep inside I waslike I don't know if I could
handle it, but on the surface itwas like I don't want to be
like one of them, I don't wantto have to do it like that.
(09:13):
Or, you know, I just, like you,have thoughts and opinions
about it because you've neverexperienced it.
So you can only imagine.
You know what it would be like.
And we go both ways.
We imagine that it's going tobe amazing.
We're going to have this bigimpact and what you know, it's
going to be better than ever.
It's going to oh, we're goingto get out of a classroom, we're
going to be able to walk thecampus and we're going to have
all this freedom and power.
(09:34):
And then you also think aboutooh, that looks really hard.
And they're the ones who staylast and they're the ones who
eat last and they're the oneswho, you know, take the heat and
I don't know if I can handlethat.
Am I capable of leadership,actually leading a vision, a
school, a community, and so?
(09:58):
But I was feeling it and it wasjust kind of I was keeping it
on the inside.
Well, my superintendent at thetime was offering this program.
So if any of you out therelistening are teachers or site
administrators or districtadministrators which I'm sure
there's a bunch of you out therelistening this program was
another like.
I think about these littlemilestones in my story that at
the time I had no idea theimpact they were really going to
(10:21):
have, but I could feel like itwas a calling to go into that.
The second little milestone forme was this program.
We called it EFULA.
It was like, basically it was aleadership development program
and my superintendent had thebrilliant idea of like
cultivating leaders from withinthe district and not always
trying to hire somebody outsidewho didn't know our culture or
(10:45):
understand, you know, our vision.
And it was a two-year program.
We'd go once or twice a weekand it was pretty intense.
Actually.
It was more than I thought itwas going to be, but it was a
profound group of people, of myown peers, and we talked
leadership and we talkedstraight leadership.
We didn't sugarcoat it.
(11:05):
We talked about how it actuallyfelt to be a leader, the real
challenges, the work-lifebalance issue, time management
how do you get planning in, justhow you keep it all together
emotionally when teachers thisand that.
And it really gave meperspective and insight.
But the best thing it gave mewas I went from thinking I'm not
(11:28):
cut out, it's not possible tolike I think I can actually do
this, I think I can actually dothis.
Did you have that moment, jeff?
Principal JL (11:37):
Yeah.
So in my journey as becoming aprincipal, honestly I was a
teacher in the classroom for 11years.
I was a math teacher andcoached football, wrestling
track, you know, did all thosethings.
I love it.
I love the connections with thekids.
It honestly wasn't until I gotinto Omaha, where I was actually
(11:57):
went from Millard North HighSchool as a teacher to Ralston,
and the main reason I went toRalston was because of Dr Adler,
who was the superintendent atRalston.
My main question was could Iget into your leadership academy
if I come over?
Because at the current districtI was in at Millard, I had to
(12:18):
wait three years and I did notwant to wait three years.
I kind of wanted the trainingbecause I felt like it would be
good for me to be able to havesome more background and to
become an educational leader.
I had my credentials already.
I had my curriculum master'sand I also have my educational
administration master's and so Iwas like I need to have
(12:40):
something more like LeadershipAcademy.
Maybe it'll make me moremarketable.
And so I spent two years in theRalston Leadership Academy with
Dr Adler, which was a greatexperience and that kind of
propelled me into becoming aprincipal and having some
experiences and some justinsights on what that's like.
(13:02):
So kind of very similarpathways there.
So tell me more about, like youknow, you're going from a
teacher into becoming, on thedark side now right, becoming a
principal.
You kind of talked about thatyou know piece, where you went
into like a leadership academyand how did that propel you?
(13:24):
What was the next step tomaking that transition from
teacher to principalship?
Angela Kelly (13:30):
Yeah, so that's a great question.
I went through the program andit was the two years, so, yeah,
it was like an academy and wegraduated out of that and then
shortly after that, so there'sthis period of time and I was in
California at the time.
I lived out in California for30 years, so my career really
spans primarily in California.
But I there was a, you know,you had to go through the
(13:55):
motions of getting thecredential and because I already
had a master's degree, I couldgo through kind of a.
It was like a shorter termcredentialing program offer
because they were in need ofadministrators, so they had this
kind of a.
It was like a shorter termcredentialing program offer
because they were in need ofadministrators, so they had this
kind of like limited time bonus.
If you act now, you can gothrough this program through the
county or the state and add onyour administrative credentials.
(14:18):
So I did that.
And then I you know you have totake the test.
And I remember driving down toSanta Cruz, California, and
taking this test and it was ahandwritten.
It was just old school likehandwritten six hours straight
of just writing and writing andI thought, oh gosh, I hope I
pass this test and I just youknow you're just like a kid
(15:00):
again, like waiting for your ACTor SAT scores to come back, and
it came back.
And it's another thing to livethe experience and to be in it.
Right, and, Jeff, you know thatthe that is definitely true.
There is the theory ofleadership and there's there's
the life of a leader and there'sthe leadership I think, day to
day, Right.
Principal JL (15:18):
Yep, yeah, yeah, and I know like for me, you know
, transitioning from teacher andto becoming a principal, that I
(15:47):
really know what I was gettingmyself into.
Not really, I just knew thatwas my next step and for me it
was like I was looking for thatperson to give me the
opportunity and it kind of.
I did a series of interviewsbecause I, you know you're,
there's a lot at my time,there's a lot more
competitiveness becoming aprincipal in Nebraska at that
time, because you know,everybody that was a teacher
that wants to get into aprincipalship was trying to get
into those or you're competingagainst other candidates that
might have some more experience.
So getting into it, you know itwas hard.
But once I got that opportunity, that's when I was trying to
(16:07):
make the most of it and sothat's part of like for me, you
know, becoming a principal.
I had the education, I had theacademy, I had all this
knowledge.
Now I had to put it in practiceand that's the part that gets
tough, because there's not a lotof professional development out
there for principals and forpeople that are just get stuck
(16:29):
on an island, because my firstprincipalship was out in
Southern Valley.
It was, you know out, in themiddle of South Central Nebraska
we, our school, was set in acornfield basically, and so you
know we couldn't.
I mean, we had our conferencesprincipals, we had our in
Nebraska, we had educationalservice unit which we go to to
(16:51):
do some professional development, but there wasn't a lot of ton
of stuff out there.
And then for me, about twoyears in, I started searching
for professional development.
And that's kind of when I ranacross your podcast for
professional development, andthat's kind of when I ran across
your podcast, the EmpoweredPrincipal.
(17:11):
So tell me something about youknow, going from that principal
leadership what was that like?
But then transition intogetting into becoming the
empowered principle person youare like.
You basically help otherprincipals manage not just the
stresses of the job but alsotheir life, and so kind of tell
me about your principalship alittle bit, but then kind of go
(17:34):
into um, you becoming theempowered principal, which you
actually wrote a book and I'llpull it out right here.
So so the Empowered Principalby Angela Kelly, which kind of
is the basis to what you do now.
So kind of tell us about thatjourney.
Angela Kelly (17:50):
Yes.
So fast forward to my firstprincipalship.
I got tapped on the shoulder bythe superintendent and here's
what I want to say about thisfor the listeners out there.
If you're an aspiring leader oryou're even considering, you're
listening to this podcast withJeff because you're thinking
about becoming a leader and he'sinspiring and you're like, oh
gosh, jeff can do it.
I want to do it.
(18:11):
I want you to know this.
It's an identity conversationwith yourself, feeling capable,
being capable.
So, if you're not in theposition yet, I want you just to
imagine what it would look like, what it would feel like you
know what the experience wouldbe, and start to step into, even
in just your mind, just kind ofrole play, what it might feel
like to be a leader and getyourself into that identity of
(18:33):
being a school leader.
That's going to help youtransition.
It's going to feel easier toactually cross that threshold
into into being that.
So in my situation, myexperience was I got tapped on
the shoulder.
It's your time, you've got toapply for this.
I actually applied to be the APof a middle school because I
thought AP would be easiertransition into leadership.
(18:55):
Well, I didn't get thatposition.
I was, you know, really sad atthe time, but my superintendent
said I have other plans for you,and so he hired me as a first
year principal to open a brandnew school, a brand new campus.
So I who I wasn't.
Principal JL (19:15):
You're a new principal and you got a brand
new school.
Let's talk about adding on thestress.
Yeah, I had I had enough issueswith just um, the construction,
construction and putting a newHVAC last summer and getting the
building ready, and I'm goingin my seventh year and I was in
enough stress to do that.
I could not imagine being afirst year principal, opening a
(19:36):
new building and having allthose things added to it.
So, yeah, tell me more aboutthat.
Angela Kelly (19:43):
Yes, well, I'll tell you those first two years.
So I was opening a brand newsite, so it was a brand new
group of people, brand newcommunity, brand new physical
buildings.
So I was dealing withconstruction and I always I love
to tell this story.
It was a back to school night.
It's like a week into the brandnew school year.
It's my first five days on thejob with people on campus.
(20:03):
Back to school night, parentsare coming, children, campus is
full of people and the officecalls and she said you know,
houston, we have a problem.
She said the main water pipebroke and there is raw sewage
running down the central campus.
Principal JL (20:20):
Oh man.
Angela Kelly (20:21):
So I had to be like, okay, everybody to the
side, but I mean metaphorically,that's how I felt.
I was literally wading through.
All of you know the newness andthe craziness of school
leadership and these crazymoments were happening.
But you know, all humor aside,it was the hardest two years of
(20:45):
my life.
I was a single mom at the time.
My son had just transitionedinto middle school, he was a
sixth grader and I was a singleparent trying to operate a brand
new school and you know, I hadto really set the foundations.
I had to create this sitecouncil team and you know all of
this, all of the teams had tobe developed, vision, all of
(21:05):
that.
And so that was not theempowered, principal moment that
I was having.
It was like probably the mostdisempowered two years of my
life.
And there were some moments Ijust felt like it was happening
to me Like the job is coming atme with a fire hose.
I can't keep up.
I was staying so late at work,having other people pick up my
(21:26):
son, other people take him tohis events, going in super early
, staying super late, workingnights and weekends, and I
really thought how did I getmyself into this?
And I don't know how to getmyself out of it, and that's
when I really felt like I had nopower.
So, fortunately, the districtassigned me a mentor and, by the
(21:51):
way, I forgot to mention thatnot only was I a brand new
principal at a brand new school,they only allowed me to work
there three days a week, andthey had me working at the
district two days a week to fillanother position.
That was yeah.
So I, I was spread a little toothin.
So, and all of that to say, ifI've gone through that, I'm sure
somebody else listening hasbeen through that too.
(22:11):
So we feel you, we hear you outthere and you can only do so
much, right you.
Just everything gets watereddown.
So you do the best you can.
But I had a moment, two years,the second year into my school
leadership where I thought Idon't know if I can do this, and
that's when I was searchingonline for help.
And you're right, jeff, thatwas the first time I noticed
(22:32):
there's a huge gap in support atthe admin level.
It's kind of like, hey, you gothired, we're so happy you're
here, here are the keys.
Go live with you know, gofigure it out, live a great life
, but please don't come back tothe district asking for support
because we're too busy dealingwith other things and so you
really are figuring it out onyour own and it's very isolating
and it's scary.
There's a lot of there's a loton your plate, a lot of
(22:55):
responsibility, and you'rethinking about students, staff,
community.
You know, of course, testscores come in and scare the.
You know the GVs.
I was desperate to be successful.
I wanted to want the job, Iwanted to want it and I wanted
to be good at it.
(23:15):
And that's when I've literallyGoogled where to look for help.
And you can go to a conference,you can read a book, you can
talk to your peers.
That was about what wasavailable and I love going to
conferences, I love socializing,I love learning, but there is
you go and you're motivated andinspired and then you come back
(23:38):
into the realities and it's hardto integrate what you've
learned for the long haul, likeintegrated into your identity as
a principal, your methods andyour approach into leadership.
And so the next how long was Ia site leader?
Two years at that school.
Then they moved me back to myhomeschool.
(23:58):
Now I am the boss of my peersof 15 years, so I don't know if
you've experienced that.
I think a lot of principalsbecome the leader of their peers
.
That is an interesting dynamicto have to navigate.
And so, again, there wasn'tinternal support.
I sought support outside, butwhat I found was life coaching.
(24:22):
I didn't know what lifecoaching was, but I knew I
needed one because my life was abig mess.
I was not feeling like I wasdoing anything well, being a
parent, running my household,being a good principal, being an
instructional leader.
So I found this person, drMartha Beck, and I signed up for
(24:46):
her program, not to become alife coach, but to learn what it
meant to coach my own life.
I wanted some empowerment back,I wanted some agency, I wanted
a sense of control somewhere,somewhere along the way.
And from her I learned justsome techniques to just kind of
regulate myself emotionally whenI was overwhelmed, or to stop
(25:10):
and take time for myself to justliterally make sure that I'm
drinking water, make sure thatI'm eating lunch we weren't
running around so busy makingsure that I put time limits on
the amount of work that I did.
So I started playing around withthis idea of I'm a human in a
(25:32):
school leadership role versus.
I'm a school leader and that'smy only identity, because that
job's never done.
We all know that, and the samegoes for students.
If there are students listeningto this, you might just think
like the studying's never done,the learning's never done.
And on one hand, you're rightbecause we are lifelong learners
(25:54):
, but on the other hand, thereneeds to be something more than
studying, learning, test scores,achievement, and that there
needs to be living.
So there's all the doing, butthen there's also the living,
and that's where I got my firstlittle breath of fresh air, like
I'm going to be a human in thisjob, not just a robot trying to
(26:14):
keep up with the demands andthe wildness of school
leadership.
Yeah, so, yeah, yeah.
Principal JL (26:21):
So you're talking about, just you know, hey, yeah,
I'm a school leader, but I'malso a person, right.
Yes, and your journey on that?
Angela Kelly (26:49):
It was profound because what I did was I started
paying attention to what Ineeded as a person.
You have physical needs, right.
You need sleep, you need food,you need movement and exercise,
you need rest, you need to havepleasure and playtime in your
life.
You need this full experience.
So the more I tuned into me,the more I started realizing
(27:11):
that we are more connected thanseparate.
That was the profound changewhere I started seeing teachers
as just fellow humans, as fellowpeople on the planet.
We're all here for the rightreasons.
We're all here doing the bestjob we can trying to figure this
(27:35):
thing called education out,trying to figure out life.
We're all here and we all wantto feel good.
We all want to feel included,significant, important, valued,
connected, appreciated,cherished.
We all want to feel the samefeelings.
And so that, when I realizedwhat we're striving here, what
(27:58):
we're striving for in educationis human development, we're
striving to, you know, supportour young ones, our students,
with tools and skills tonavigate the human experience,
not just the learning, not justacademics, but their body,
physically changing anddeveloping and growing, and
(28:21):
their ability to interact withtheir peers and to build
friendships that have meaningand fill their hearts with joy
and fun and laughter andmemories, and same with teachers
.
Teachers go into this for theright reasons and if you believe
in that and you believe thatyour story is more similar to
their story than separate, wearen't admin and teachers, we're
(28:44):
humans, we're educators.
And that team when I really sawthat we're a team we want the
same things.
We want kids to be happy andsuccessful.
We want them coming to school.
We want to feel good aboutourselves as teachers.
Whether we're an admin, whetherwe're the secretary or the
nurse or the counselor or youknow, tech support or bus
(29:06):
driving or maintenance, we allwant to feel good about who we
are and what we're contributing.
And that's when I realizedequal contribution, but
different, equal value.
So our contributions whetheryou're a teacher, whether you're
a maintenance crew, we all arecontributing something valuable.
It just looks different.
So we're more together thanseparate.
(29:28):
And then I started teaching thatwith kids and they would come
into the office and have theirdisagreements and have their
conflicts and I would be able tostart talking with them about
the similarities and how we wantto feel the same way and what
we really want is to feel goodabout ourselves and our
connections with people and thenfrom there it just it's.
(29:49):
It started rolling.
I started getting how to be aleader, which was connection and
similarity over separation anddisconnect.
That's when, in 2015, I waslooking like how do I get more
of this, how do I become astronger leader, a better leader
?
And you know, jeff, againthere's a little bit out there
(30:11):
for school leaders.
It was starting to percolate.
There's organizations thatprovide incredible learning
connections.
I love it, and there was justthis little piece for me
personally that was missing, andthat's when I found the Life
Coach School.
I went and got certified in 2015.
(30:32):
School I went and got certifiedin 2015.
And I applied those conceptsfor two years as a principal.
Then I got promoted to thedistrict level.
I was the RTI coordinator forthe entire district we had.
We were able to build a reallyrobust academic RTI and
behavioral RTI program at mysite, and then I was supposed to
go and help my fellow peers dothe same at their schools.
(30:55):
Well, one year at the districtoffice is, if you've ever moved
from site to district leadership.
That's like a whole notherlevel of perspective and I was
like, okay, I can do this, but Idid.
I felt disconnected from kids.
So I spent a lot of time at thesites and I was like, okay, I
can do this, but I did.
I felt disconnected from kids.
So I spent a lot of time at thesites and what I learned is that
(31:16):
principals were coming togetherin the district at the
leadership team meetings.
Everyone had a smile on theirface, everyone was saying
everything was great and this iswhat they're going to do
problem solvers.
And then when I go back totheir sites and we'd close the
office door, the truth came outof how they really felt and the
struggles they were facing andthe pain they were in and the
insufficiency that they felt andthe disempowerment they felt.
(31:41):
They felt a lack of ability toinspire and create influence and
impact in their school as aleader.
And it's because that identityand leadership skills and all of
that was missing from theconversation.
It was be this task, manager,and I'm sure you run a school
because you went from a smallschool to a big school, right,
jeff?
Principal JL (32:01):
Yeah, I went from a school with about 175 students
to a thousand.
Yes, I made a pretty big jumpand kind of the great thing was
is when I was getting ready tomake that jump.
That's when I found yourpodcast.
Yes, that's right Kind of whatyou're doing.
I think we had like a freeconsult and we kind of worked
(32:22):
through some things because Iwas getting frustrated.
I'll be honest, I went on likein the last two years I was like
on 18 or 19 interviews becauseI was looking to be like, ok, I
want to take that next step.
There's other circumstances I'mnot going to get into for for
what I was doing in thissituation, but yeah, that's
(32:43):
where I because I was lookingfor at the time, how can I
become a better leader?
But also I need help because ofsomething I'm doing is not
working and what is it.
And I think that's when wetalked about you know a lot of
about your mindset.
You took me through the steercycle.
We did some brain drains and wewere really really able to
(33:03):
focus in on kind of what Ineeded to do to get into you
know the right mindset for that,to show people my value, show
people that you know, envisionmyself into their school and how
do I do that.
And so we worked you knowworked a lot on that.
(33:24):
And, of course, I was followingyou on Facebook and I listened
to your podcast, and so I wasjust kind of following along
because I needed something tokind of help me through the
journey.
Because you're right when youtalk about you know, go to these
conferences, you network, youdo these things.
I even go to, you know, ourregional and state conferences,
our regional meetings and thingslike that.
(33:46):
But then you go back and thenyou're on your own again.
So what can you get daily?
And I think that's kind ofwhere you're kind of fitting
into that piece, to where youcan help principals on the daily
with becoming a better leaderbut also being the best version
of themselves.
So, honestly, this podcast is aderivative from working with
(34:07):
you because you know, knowingthat there is not a lot out
there.
My goal with this podcast isbasically to connect people with
other people, but also tellother people's stories, but also
try to help other principals inthese situations or in these
leadership roles to be the bestthey can be.
And if I can help inspire andgive them some nuggets of
(34:31):
knowledge here and there, thatwould help them so they don't
have to go through some of thehard things you had to go
through or other previousprincipals had to go through as
well, because I think you'regoing to go through some dark
times as an educational leader,but to have somebody kind of
support you through that is animportant piece.
And I find that's kind of wherewhat you're doing now, going
(34:54):
from your district leader role,now you're the empowered
principal, guru, life coach.
You kind of help people withthat and you stay pretty busy
doing that.
So talk about that transitionyou talked about.
You know, I went to become alife coach.
(35:14):
You are starting to implementpractices.
I think the one thing you reallykind of talk about in your book
is you know your mindset, yourthoughtfulness or just how do
you think you know your brainworks and your STEAR cycle kind
of.
So kind of talk about you knowthe STEAR cycle.
Why is it important to help youbecome an empowered principal?
Angela Kelly (35:38):
Yes, of course I first have to do a shout out for
Jeff, because Jeff and I workedtogether as one-on-one client
and also he was a member of mygroup coaching program at the
Empowered PrincipalCollaborative.
But what I want to highlightabout Jeff was how quickly our
conversations went from justtalking to him implementing and
(36:01):
I don't mean so much like hedidn't add more to his plate, he
implemented, he adjusted hisapproach.
He didn't add to his plate, headjusted his approach by
broadening his perspective andit the other day we were talking
about.
You know how we support fellowadults to have conflict and
(36:38):
conversations and conflict andto resolve those as adults and
we have to be able to hold spacefor them.
And I just think Jeff does anincredible job of implementing
mindset plus skillset and thatsupportive approach and that
really the belief that hey,we're all here to feel good, to
(36:58):
do our best, we are on the sameteam.
I see that in your work, jeff.
I see it in your post, in yourwork, in the conversations that
you and I have, and this podcastis really a manifestation of
that work that you have doneright.
I was there to initiate thoseconversations with you and to
provide that awareness and toget you feeling aligned to what
(37:21):
you value and who you are.
But from there the momentum wasall used.
So Jeff is an incredible leaderand I'm I couldn't be happier
that he started this podcast,because he has so much wisdom to
share with you guys.
And what I love is this is justthe beginning.
So I I have to say that becauseI respect him, I appreciate him
and and this, this work thathe's doing.
(37:41):
He's not just talking at you inthis podcast, he's living it
and sharing his stories andexperiences with you in real
time.
So I really honor and respectthat.
So yes, so sorry, I had to saythat.
No, no, I appreciate it, yeah,yeah.
So back to the question was howI transitioned.
(38:02):
So that one year at thedistrict I saw people suffering
is really what happened.
I saw my peers suffering and itpained me, it ached me and I
thought we really are the same.
I felt that way, too, I.
It ached me and I thought wereally are the same.
Like I felt that way too.
I didn't.
I thought I was alone andisolated.
I thought it was just me.
I thought I was the one who wasinsufficient, or I didn't have
what it took, or I wasn'tcharismatic enough or smart
enough or, you know, organizedor disciplined enough.
(38:25):
But I see that it's the job.
And so if it's not the peoplethat are the problem, it's the
job.
And so if it's not the peoplethat are the problem and the job
is the job, it's just thereality.
If we can't go in and fix, wecan't go out and change what in
the job, even on the hard days,or even when the test scores
(38:58):
don't land where we'd like themto, or even when we're working
with a kid who's reallystruggling to regulate
emotionally, or working with anadult who is really struggling
to regulate emotionally.
And why don't we just have aspace where principals can talk
about this, talk about, like I'mbarely emotionally regulated
right now, let alone being ableto help somebody else regulate
emotionally.
We expect kids to emotionallyregulate, yet we sometimes don't
(39:23):
have the capacity to do thatourselves.
So, just in my own observationof me, that's where and through
the Life Coach School, I came upwith it's.
My coach calls her work themodel and and I took that and
ran with it and created theSTEAR Cycle.
But it it's just a tool, notjust it's a powerful tool, it is
(39:47):
a tool that helps you observeyour what's your brain is
offering you, your thoughts, andjust observe them.
Kind of give a little distancebetween you and your thoughts to
create that space so you canwrite them down on the paper,
type them up, and that's whatthe brain drain is, where you
can just like, wow, what isgoing on for myself right now?
(40:12):
And I've I've shifted a littlebit.
Like I wrote this book when Iwas a baby coach, a brand new
coach, and you know I it waslike my, my pride and joy at the
time, and I'm writing anotherbook right now.
Actually, too, what as I'vebeen this?
Yeah, breaking news.
Yes, breaking news.
It's good, you have to let meknow when it's out at your
(40:47):
thoughts.
But what I realized is that theemotional experience we're
having is truly the compass.
So you still look at yourthoughts, but what I would offer
to you now is what are youfeeling?
Being able to identify, becausesometimes you're feeling all
worked up and you don't knowreally what's going on inside
(41:08):
and you're going to have a braindrain, trust me, like, if
you're upset or you'refrustrated or you're overwhelmed
, the brain is going to go.
Well, there's this, this, this,this, this and let it.
Let it drain all out.
Eventually you're going to belike, okay, I got, I said my
piece and you'll feel a littlerelease of energy there.
But that practice gives you somespace in your mind to say, okay
(41:30):
, I've acknowledged how I'mfeeling.
I'm overwhelmed or I'm upset.
Here's why.
So what are you feeling?
Number one why are you feelingit?
That's the brain drain, all thethoughts are going to pour out,
and then you have some spacethere to be like huh, all right,
I'm acknowledging that I'moverwhelmed or I'm really upset
right now.
Valid, fair enough.
Now what?
(41:52):
And you can look at the thoughts.
You separate them from yourmind because they kind of just
one.
They go on repeat, they loopover and over and it feels like
there are 200 thoughts whenactually there's probably 20.
And they're just on repeat andloop and then they get all
jumbly and entangled in yourmind and you kind of go down
these rabbit holes.
But putting it on the paperhelps you, it finites them.
(42:14):
You start to see like there'sonly so many and then you can
say, okay, here's what I'mthinking.
How is that feeling?
Which ones of these feelterrible and which ones feel a
little better?
Let's lean over there, andthat's what my next book is
going to be about.
It's called Feel Good Goals.
It's about the goal here is tofeel good and we use this
process to, like, lean back intowhat feels more aligned, what
(42:38):
feels true, what feels good,what do we want to believe about
ourselves, about others, aboutour school and that?
So that's the gist of theempowered principle is how can I
take back, empower myself tofeel better, to learn what's
working, what's not, what do Iwant to shift to do differently?
(42:58):
But also this is another secretis that if you're having a
thought that feels terrible,like I'm not good enough, or I
really messed this up, or I'm afailure, I'm insufficient, in
some way we all have the notenough thoughts.
When they feel terrible and youfeel like you're in so much pain
, the little secret is thatthey're not true.
(43:21):
That's just your brain's way ofsaying like, hey, you know what
?
I don't want you to feel thepain of failing.
So I'm going to just tell youin advance don't even try,
because I don't want you to falldown and scrape your knee.
I'm going to protect you andkeep you safe.
And the brain can'tdifferentiate between real pain
(43:41):
and perceived pain.
So it's just it's going tofreeze you and say like, please
don't try this at home.
This could end, this couldresult in pain, whether that's
physical pain, emotional pain,mental pain, psychological pain.
We're so afraid of pain.
But if we lean into it andwe're looking at the steer cycle
and that's like, ooh, I'mreally feeling some pain here,
(44:01):
like let's say we failed, let'ssay we did and we acknowledge it
, it's better to validate that,acknowledge it and lean into it
and be like you know what, andthis is true.
I think I taught you, jeff,something called the land of and
where it's like this might betrue, but also equally true is
this other side where you canstart to feel better.
So even on those hard days,it's like yep, today was hard
(44:25):
and dot, dot, dot.
What's equally true are theseother things that are good.
There's the duality of our jobs.
There's really hard days,heartbreakingly hard days.
I just moved here to Nashvilleand in real time, I don't know
for those of you who know therewas a school shooting recently,
just this past week, and thereis a principal out there and a
(44:48):
family, multiple families, whoare in the biggest pain of their
life and to me, losing astudent on my watch is one of
the most unimaginable things andthat principal is in so much
pain and we can feel compassionfor that principal and it is
like probably our biggestnightmare and fear as a
(45:09):
principal is losing a student onour watch, when it's our job to
protect them and also knowingwe do our best but we aren't in
control of the world.
Then it becomes how do Inavigate this heartbreak, this
pain?
So, and pain is pain, right.
(45:30):
Whether you've lost a studentor you've lost a staff member or
whatever tragedy of any kindthat's happened at your school.
And hey, if you haven't had atragedy, don't feel bad that you
haven't had one.
You've had it in just adifferent format, right.
Whether it's like an IEP thatdidn't go well or a parent that
got upset and left your school,or there's different kinds of
(45:52):
pain, we all experience it.
So acknowledge your pain, leaninto it and just know people
like Jeff are out there andJeff's been through pain too.
He's been through really hardtimes and really hard
conversations.
He's had to lead people, he'shad to coach people.
He's had to coach people up,he's had to coach people out.
So you do both, but yourwillingness to expand your
(46:15):
capacity to feel pain also letsyou expand your capacity for joy
, and that's the duality of thisjob.
So that's really what I do in anutshell is I help people
navigate this thing callededucational leadership.
I help you navigate the hardstuff emotionally, mentally but
I also help you visualize andlearn and expand your
(46:37):
potentiality and yourpossibility about what you can
be, what you can experience.
And, hey guys, at the end ofthe day, we're all here to
support, to love, to have a goodtime and to create memories, to
create success stories, to beproud of ourselves, our students
and the work that our teachersand our team are doing.
And that's your legacy, that'swhat you want to leave behind.
(46:58):
But here we are.
Today, jeff, this will be amemory locked in time, an
experience that you and I arecreating, and then tomorrow this
will just be a memory and itwill be a beautiful memory and
it's one that we want to lock inand remember this forever.
But all of us are doing this,we're all out there at our
schools, you're present in theday, and that tomorrow, the next
(47:19):
day, this day is a memory.
So that brings me to just kindof I know we've been talking so
long here but wrapping up thispodcast episode, it's really
about intentionality, who wewant to be, not perfection, we
don't even want perfection, thatwould be very robotic.
We want to experience it all.
(47:40):
We want to have the capacity toexperience it all, and that's
something that I see Jeffmodeling, not just as a school
leader.
Jeff models it as a husband, asa friend, as a father.
I see him on his Facebook,empowered way, so that you can
enjoy your life.
You can enjoy, you can havebalance, you can work hard and
(48:13):
go home and play hard.
You can get the rest you needand put a lot of effort in.
You can have both, andbelieving that it's possible to
have both is where we start.
Principal JL (48:24):
Yes, and that's really what I love about the
work that you're doing is howyou're helping principals not
just manage the job, the task athand, but also how can they
just be someone that can enjoyjust being.
You know a husband, a father,you know a good friend, you know
somebody that's.
You know we are people outsideof this job.
(48:46):
We're not just, we just don'tgo home and do nothing.
We got, we got interests, wegot things we like to do, and so
you being able to tap in, Ithink there's not a lot that.
You're the only person I knowthat has the experience being a
teacher, a principal, a districtadmin.
But then this life coachingadventure you're on, where now
(49:07):
you're helping people navigatethat job, navigate how to find
the joy out of it, cause, likeyou said, it is, it's a tough
job.
There's going to be, um, youknow, great days and there's
going to be good days.
I always say, cause I I'm not,I'm a non-traditional educator.
I worked in a factory for threeand a half years and I always
(49:29):
tell people the worst day ineducation is better than the
best day of my factory job.
So I just enjoy what I do, butat the same time, I think it's
that mindset that we come inwith.
Having someone like AngelaKelly here to help you navigate
is something that I wouldencourage principals and
(49:52):
educational leaders to tap into.
So, angela, tell us what you'reup to with the Empowered
Principal.
How can people connect with you?
How can they reach out to you?
I'll probably well I'll putsome your email or some
connections down in the shownotes so people can easily find
(50:13):
you in the podcast.
But you know how can peopleconnect and get in touch with
you if they're really thinkingabout you know what a lot of the
things that I heard todayresonates with me, and I really
want to learn how to have thatwork-life balance.
(50:35):
How can they connect with you?
Angela?
Angela Kelly (50:36):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Yeah, I jumped into this jobaround, I think, 2017.
So I've been coaching for thelast eight school years and I
started with one-on-one coaching, as Jeff knows, and then the
demand expanded into I do havesome one-on-ones.
I don't coach you know a ton ofone-on-ones anymore, but I do
coach one-on-one with someprincipals, but the majority of
(50:57):
people are coming into theEmpowered Principal
Collaborative, which is a groupcoaching program, and what I
love about that is the synergy.
It's the you don't feel alone,like one-on-one is where we have
those confidential, privateconversations and I do offer
one-on-one sessions to themembers of EPC if there is
something confidential in natureor sensitive in nature that we
(51:19):
need to discuss offline.
But what's so great about thegroup is the collective wisdom,
the collective desire to feelgood, to improve, to expand
their impact on their schools,to also to like not take it all
on themselves, like to lightenthat load, to not feel alone.
(51:41):
I think it's.
I thought teaching was isolatingbecause you're in your school,
in your classroom, by yourself,but you have your colleagues,
you have your grade level teamor your department team, and
then you get into admin and, forme 550 students, you know 27
teachers, you know about 70staff members at my site and one
(52:02):
admin on campus.
That felt isolating and I waslike, okay, we need, we need.
There's got to be a place to gomingle and have some
conversations and have a littlebit of fun and actually just
lighten up about it, laugh aboutit.
Some of the stories you cannotmake these up and you've got to
be able to have a place wherepeople understand you and they
can laugh and have a good time.
So EPC, the Empowered PrincipalCollaborative, is my group
(52:25):
coaching program.
So if you are interested inlearning more number one, you
can just listen to the podcastand kind of get to know me.
The Empowered Principal Podcast.
You can pick up the book audio.
It's on Audible, it's on youknow.
You can buy the hard copy ifyou want.
And then you can find me on mywebsite, angelakelleycoachingcom
.
But the Empowered Principal iswhere I'm at.
(52:46):
I hang out primarily onFacebook and Instagram, but you
can also find me on LinkedIn.
Reach out if you have anyquestions or concerns.
Principal JL (52:55):
You bet All right, Angela, it was really great to
have you on the show today.
You know it's fun to listen tojust your journey as an
educational leader and how youbecame the empowered principal
you are today and I reallyappreciate the work you're doing
because it's meaningful andit's, you know, something that
(53:16):
we, as educational leaders, needand you know I hope today's
podcast helped someone out theretoday get connected with you,
to you know if they're reallyneeding and searching for
something to help them become abetter educational leader.
So thank you for being on theshow today.
Angela Kelly (53:37):
It's so wild to be a guest on a show Like I have
my own podcast and I spend mytime being the interviewer, and
so it was a blast to be herewith you, jeff, and I'm excited
to actually share this interviewwith my audience as well, for
them to hear your story, butalso I don't know that I've ever
really shared my story to thisdepth.
(53:57):
So it was really fun and justthank you for the privilege and
the honor of being here today.
I had a lot of fun.
Principal JL (54:04):
Awesome, thank you .
I hope you guys enjoyed thisepisode with Angela Kelly.
I am truly honored and gratefulthat she came on this podcast to
share with you guys how to bean empowered principal.
She gave you guys a lot ofgreat insights on her own
journey, which I very muchappreciate, because we all have
(54:27):
our journeys out there when itbecomes a effective school
leader.
So, if you enjoyed this podcast, I would truly love it if you
guys would subscribe or followthis podcast on your favorite
podcast app.
I would also love it if youleave a review, because when you
leave reviews, you make theshow more discoverable for other
(54:51):
school leaders like you, so wecan build this community of
educational leaders together.
If you would like to get intouch with Angela Kelly and
learn more about the AngelaKelly coaching, I will drop her
website in the show notes foryou so you guys can reach out to
her if that's something thatyou would like to do.
Well, I hope you guys foundvalue in this episode.
(55:14):
It was a lot of fun doing itand until next time, always look
to be 1% better.
Today I got to sit down with a special person that
has helped me in my owneducational leadership journey.
Let's all agree that being aneducational leader is tough.
There's no doubt about it.
But what if you didn't have tochoose between success and
balance?
What if three things can betrue at the same time?
(00:21):
You can enjoy being a schoolleader, you can be great.
At the same time, you can enjoybeing a school leader, you can
be great at school leadershipand you can spend more time with
your family without feelingoverwhelmed.
Well, you ask how?
Well, I'll tell you how,through Angela Kelly Coaching.
Today I am joined by AngelaKelly, the creator of the
(00:44):
Empowered Principal Podcast andthe Empowered Principal Life and
Leadership Coaching Program.
She's a former teacher,principal and district
administrator with over 25 yearsof experience in education.
As a certified life andleadership coach, angela has
made it her mission to helpschool leaders create
exceptional results whileactually enjoying the leadership
(01:08):
journey.
In this episode, we're divinginto the mindset shifts,
strategies and support systemsthat allow school leaders to
thrive in their roles withoutburnout.
If you've ever wondered how tolead with confidence, balance
your personal life and trulylove what you do, this
(01:29):
conversation is for you.
Let's get this episode startedwith Angela Kelly.
All right, everybody.
Today we have a special guest.
This special guest is somebodythat is near and dear to my
(01:52):
heart, because they kind ofhelped me out as a principal
throughout my journey.
So I'd like to welcome to theshow Angela Kelly.
Welcome.
Angela Kelly (02:01):
Hi there, jeff.
It's so good to be here.
Thank you for having me on theshow
Hey, Angela, I wanted to kindof get things started here with
just kind of talking about yourjourney in education.
So tell me about how you goteducation.
What is the reason that got youto become a teacher in the
first place?
(02:21):
Wow, that goes back a few decades.
So you know, like any kidcoming out of high school, the
big question is what are yougoing to do with your life?
And for me, I actually need tostart back into middle school.
So I was in middle school, Iwas had moved a lot and there
(02:44):
was this presentation in our youknow theater and it was called
Upward Bound and it was aprogram that was designed for
students of families who had not.
They're the first generation ofstudents to potentially go to
college, so nobody in my familyline prior to me had attended a
(03:08):
four-year university and youalso had to meet certain
requirements financially.
So my family fit thesefinancial goals and by the end
of eighth grade I signed up forthis program called Upward Bound
.
It was at Iowa State University.
I was born and raised in Iowaand it was the game changer for
(03:29):
my life, because I don't knowthat I actually had sights on
going to college.
I didn't really contemplatewhat my future would look like.
It was that life was justhappening and I was just going
through the motions of being akid and going to high school.
And then this happened and Istarted thinking about my future
, actually thinking about what Iwanted when I grew up, the kind
(03:53):
of career I wanted to have, andI went through Upward Bound for
five years.
So from the summer of eighthgrade, clear through the summer
of the year I graduated.
So five summers, instead ofbeing the kid who you know went
to movies and hung out with herfriends and went out on dates, I
was going to college.
I was going to school throughthis program.
(04:15):
The first couple of years theyare prep courses to prepare you
for the rigor of college andthen the last three years you
start taking actual classes withother college students while
you're in high school and thenyou have an intense amount of
preparation and support andtutoring to ensure, because if
you're going to get anythinglower than a C, they kind of
(04:35):
pull you because they realizeyou might not be ready.
So I was able.
By the time I graduated highschool I had a semester of
college credit and that was soinvigorating and so motivating.
I had this momentum going where, like, I started to identify as
somebody who could actually goto college and get a degree.
I have to highlight thatbecause that program really did
(05:00):
change my life and I credit theUpward Bound program to creating
a vision for my adult life andmy future.
So I have to give a shout outto Upward Bound.
And then when I got intocollege I actually my dad was
like, well, you should go intofinance.
That just sounds veryprestigious and you're really
good at math.
And I took one semester.
(05:20):
I hated it.
I was falling asleep in theclass.
I remember in economy class Islept through a quiz.
It was just bad, it was badnews.
And I was sitting down with somefriends over the summer and
they were asking how collegewent and I said, well, it's okay
.
But I wasn't fired up.
I was more fired up about thesocial scene and being away from
(05:44):
family and being a littleindependent college student than
I was actually my future andlearning.
And I had a very profoundconversation about what did I
want to do, what did I love todo?
That conversation it came uplike I love kids.
(06:09):
I babysat from a very young age.
I loved being around kids, theylit me up and I loved school.
So I think the combination oftruly loving school as a student
I always played school, Iplayed the teacher and combined
with my, you know, young adultlove for children and I would
say too, I really wanted toimprove the experience of school
(06:31):
for students, and not that Ihad a bad experience, but you
know, I grew up in the 70s and80s, so there were things that
we could do to improve theexperience of students and the
emotional experience thatstudents had and in addition to
the style of learning that wedid.
(06:52):
So that really thosecombinations of of events in my
life drew me into teaching andthe minute I shifted into from
finance into into education, itwas like luck.
I knew right then I was lockedloaded.
This was my life, I loved it,ready to go, and that was it.
(07:14):
I never looked back and I endedup getting my early childhood
credential along with myelementary teaching credential
Principal JL (07:22):
Right, as a teacher.
How long were you a teacher?
You know?
Angela Kelly (07:26):
I taught two years in Minnesota.
So I graduated from Iowa State.
We moved up to Minnesota.
I taught pre-K.
It was a birth through gradeage five, early childhood
program.
I was the teacher and thecoordinator for two years there.
My husband and I moved out toCalifornia in 95.
For two years there, my husbandand I moved out to California
in 95.
And I taught at the same schoolfor about 15 years.
(07:48):
So I taught primarilykindergarten.
It's my love language iskindergarten and I also taught
first grade and then I became aninstructional coach.
I was a reading specialist so Idid, you know, different seats
on the bus, but I was definitelyelementary, really profound
love for early literacy andearly childhood development and
(08:08):
just the social-emotionaldevelopment of children and I
really loved working withparents.
That's why I chose kindergarten, because you can just you get
to bring them in and you get tocultivate them and their
experience.
And that was really importantfor me to set the stage for
these families to have apositive experience with their
school and to really love theschool that they were sending
their children to.
(08:28):
So I did that for 15 years andin the meantime I'm going to say
, like around 12, 13 years intoteaching, I felt this desire for
more.
But you know, let's be honeston the podcast here.
(08:51):
You know, when you're a teacherand you're like it's teachers,
they have their mindset,perspective, and then admin.
And as a teacher, you'relooking at the admin, like I
don't know about that, I don'tknow if I want to go to the dark
side.
I don't know that I couldhandle it.
You know, deep inside I waslike I don't know if I could
handle it, but on the surface itwas like I don't want to be
like one of them, I don't wantto have to do it like that.
(09:13):
Or, you know, I just, like you,have thoughts and opinions
about it because you've neverexperienced it.
So you can only imagine.
You know what it would be like.
And we go both ways.
We imagine that it's going tobe amazing.
We're going to have this bigimpact and what you know, it's
going to be better than ever.
It's going to oh, we're goingto get out of a classroom, we're
going to be able to walk thecampus and we're going to have
all this freedom and power.
(09:34):
And then you also think aboutooh, that looks really hard.
And they're the ones who staylast and they're the ones who
eat last and they're the oneswho, you know, take the heat and
I don't know if I can handlethat.
Am I capable of leadership,actually leading a vision, a
school, a community, and so?
(09:58):
But I was feeling it and it wasjust kind of I was keeping it
on the inside.
Well, my superintendent at thetime was offering this program.
So if any of you out therelistening are teachers or site
administrators or districtadministrators which I'm sure
there's a bunch of you out therelistening this program was
another like.
I think about these littlemilestones in my story that at
the time I had no idea theimpact they were really going to
(10:21):
have, but I could feel like itwas a calling to go into that.
The second little milestone forme was this program.
We called it EFULA.
It was like, basically it was aleadership development program
and my superintendent had thebrilliant idea of like
cultivating leaders from withinthe district and not always
trying to hire somebody outsidewho didn't know our culture or
(10:45):
understand, you know, our vision.
And it was a two-year program.
We'd go once or twice a weekand it was pretty intense.
Actually.
It was more than I thought itwas going to be, but it was a
profound group of people, of myown peers, and we talked
leadership and we talkedstraight leadership.
We didn't sugarcoat it.
(11:05):
We talked about how it actuallyfelt to be a leader, the real
challenges, the work-lifebalance issue, time management
how do you get planning in, justhow you keep it all together
emotionally when teachers thisand that.
And it really gave meperspective and insight.
But the best thing it gave mewas I went from thinking I'm not
(11:28):
cut out, it's not possible tolike I think I can actually do
this, I think I can actually dothis.
Did you have that moment, jeff?
Principal JL (11:37):
Yeah.
So in my journey as becoming aprincipal, honestly I was a
teacher in the classroom for 11years.
I was a math teacher andcoached football, wrestling
track, you know, did all thosethings.
I love it.
I love the connections with thekids.
It honestly wasn't until I gotinto Omaha, where I was actually
(11:57):
went from Millard North HighSchool as a teacher to Ralston,
and the main reason I went toRalston was because of Dr Adler,
who was the superintendent atRalston.
My main question was could Iget into your leadership academy
if I come over?
Because at the current districtI was in at Millard, I had to
(12:18):
wait three years and I did notwant to wait three years.
I kind of wanted the trainingbecause I felt like it would be
good for me to be able to havesome more background and to
become an educational leader.
I had my credentials already.
I had my curriculum master'sand I also have my educational
administration master's and so Iwas like I need to have
(12:40):
something more like LeadershipAcademy.
Maybe it'll make me moremarketable.
And so I spent two years in theRalston Leadership Academy with
Dr Adler, which was a greatexperience and that kind of
propelled me into becoming aprincipal and having some
experiences and some justinsights on what that's like.
(13:02):
So kind of very similarpathways there.
So tell me more about, like youknow, you're going from a
teacher into becoming, on thedark side now right, becoming a
principal.
You kind of talked about thatyou know piece, where you went
into like a leadership academyand how did that propel you?
(13:24):
What was the next step tomaking that transition from
teacher to principalship?
Angela Kelly (13:30):
Yeah, so that's a great question.
I went through the program andit was the two years, so, yeah,
it was like an academy and wegraduated out of that and then
shortly after that, so there'sthis period of time and I was in
California at the time.
I lived out in California for30 years, so my career really
spans primarily in California.
But I there was a, you know,you had to go through the
(13:55):
motions of getting thecredential and because I already
had a master's degree, I couldgo through kind of a.
It was like a shorter termcredentialing program offer
because they were in need ofadministrators, so they had this
kind of a.
It was like a shorter termcredentialing program offer
because they were in need ofadministrators, so they had this
kind of like limited time bonus.
If you act now, you can gothrough this program through the
county or the state and add onyour administrative credentials.
(14:18):
So I did that.
And then I you know you have totake the test.
And I remember driving down toSanta Cruz, California, and
taking this test and it was ahandwritten.
It was just old school likehandwritten six hours straight
of just writing and writing andI thought, oh gosh, I hope I
pass this test and I just youknow you're just like a kid
(15:00):
again, like waiting for your ACTor SAT scores to come back, and
it came back.
And it's another thing to livethe experience and to be in it.
Right, and, Jeff, you know thatthe that is definitely true.
There is the theory ofleadership and there's there's
the life of a leader and there'sthe leadership I think, day to
day, Right.
Principal JL (15:18):
Yep, yeah, yeah, and I know like for me, you know
, transitioning from teacher andto becoming a principal, that I
(15:47):
really know what I was gettingmyself into.
Not really, I just knew thatwas my next step and for me it
was like I was looking for thatperson to give me the
opportunity and it kind of.
I did a series of interviewsbecause I, you know you're,
there's a lot at my time,there's a lot more
competitiveness becoming aprincipal in Nebraska at that
time, because you know,everybody that was a teacher
that wants to get into aprincipalship was trying to get
into those or you're competingagainst other candidates that
might have some more experience.
So getting into it, you know itwas hard.
But once I got that opportunity, that's when I was trying to
(16:07):
make the most of it and sothat's part of like for me, you
know, becoming a principal.
I had the education, I had theacademy, I had all this
knowledge.
Now I had to put it in practiceand that's the part that gets
tough, because there's not a lotof professional development out
there for principals and forpeople that are just get stuck
(16:29):
on an island, because my firstprincipalship was out in
Southern Valley.
It was, you know out, in themiddle of South Central Nebraska
we, our school, was set in acornfield basically, and so you
know we couldn't.
I mean, we had our conferencesprincipals, we had our in
Nebraska, we had educationalservice unit which we go to to
(16:51):
do some professional development, but there wasn't a lot of ton
of stuff out there.
And then for me, about twoyears in, I started searching
for professional development.
And that's kind of when I ranacross your podcast for
professional development, andthat's kind of when I ran across
your podcast, the EmpoweredPrincipal.
(17:11):
So tell me something about youknow, going from that principal
leadership what was that like?
But then transition intogetting into becoming the
empowered principle person youare like.
You basically help otherprincipals manage not just the
stresses of the job but alsotheir life, and so kind of tell
me about your principalship alittle bit, but then kind of go
(17:34):
into um, you becoming theempowered principal, which you
actually wrote a book and I'llpull it out right here.
So so the Empowered Principalby Angela Kelly, which kind of
is the basis to what you do now.
So kind of tell us about thatjourney.
Angela Kelly (17:50):
Yes.
So fast forward to my firstprincipalship.
I got tapped on the shoulder bythe superintendent and here's
what I want to say about thisfor the listeners out there.
If you're an aspiring leader oryou're even considering, you're
listening to this podcast withJeff because you're thinking
about becoming a leader and he'sinspiring and you're like, oh
gosh, jeff can do it.
I want to do it.
(18:11):
I want you to know this.
It's an identity conversationwith yourself, feeling capable,
being capable.
So, if you're not in theposition yet, I want you just to
imagine what it would look like, what it would feel like you
know what the experience wouldbe, and start to step into, even
in just your mind, just kind ofrole play, what it might feel
like to be a leader and getyourself into that identity of
(18:33):
being a school leader.
That's going to help youtransition.
It's going to feel easier toactually cross that threshold
into into being that.
So in my situation, myexperience was I got tapped on
the shoulder.
It's your time, you've got toapply for this.
I actually applied to be the APof a middle school because I
thought AP would be easiertransition into leadership.
(18:55):
Well, I didn't get thatposition.
I was, you know, really sad atthe time, but my superintendent
said I have other plans for you,and so he hired me as a first
year principal to open a brandnew school, a brand new campus.
So I who I wasn't.
Principal JL (19:15):
You're a new principal and you got a brand
new school.
Let's talk about adding on thestress.
Yeah, I had I had enough issueswith just um, the construction,
construction and putting a newHVAC last summer and getting the
building ready, and I'm goingin my seventh year and I was in
enough stress to do that.
I could not imagine being afirst year principal, opening a
(19:36):
new building and having allthose things added to it.
So, yeah, tell me more aboutthat.
Angela Kelly (19:43):
Yes, well, I'll tell you those first two years.
So I was opening a brand newsite, so it was a brand new
group of people, brand newcommunity, brand new physical
buildings.
So I was dealing withconstruction and I always I love
to tell this story.
It was a back to school night.
It's like a week into the brandnew school year.
It's my first five days on thejob with people on campus.
(20:03):
Back to school night, parentsare coming, children, campus is
full of people and the officecalls and she said you know,
houston, we have a problem.
She said the main water pipebroke and there is raw sewage
running down the central campus.
Principal JL (20:20):
Oh man.
Angela Kelly (20:21):
So I had to be like, okay, everybody to the
side, but I mean metaphorically,that's how I felt.
I was literally wading through.
All of you know the newness andthe craziness of school
leadership and these crazymoments were happening.
But you know, all humor aside,it was the hardest two years of
(20:45):
my life.
I was a single mom at the time.
My son had just transitionedinto middle school, he was a
sixth grader and I was a singleparent trying to operate a brand
new school and you know, I hadto really set the foundations.
I had to create this sitecouncil team and you know all of
this, all of the teams had tobe developed, vision, all of
(21:05):
that.
And so that was not theempowered, principal moment that
I was having.
It was like probably the mostdisempowered two years of my
life.
And there were some moments Ijust felt like it was happening
to me Like the job is coming atme with a fire hose.
I can't keep up.
I was staying so late at work,having other people pick up my
(21:26):
son, other people take him tohis events, going in super early
, staying super late, workingnights and weekends, and I
really thought how did I getmyself into this?
And I don't know how to getmyself out of it, and that's
when I really felt like I had nopower.
So, fortunately, the districtassigned me a mentor and, by the
(21:51):
way, I forgot to mention thatnot only was I a brand new
principal at a brand new school,they only allowed me to work
there three days a week, andthey had me working at the
district two days a week to fillanother position.
That was yeah.
So I, I was spread a little toothin.
So, and all of that to say, ifI've gone through that, I'm sure
somebody else listening hasbeen through that too.
(22:11):
So we feel you, we hear you outthere and you can only do so
much, right you.
Just everything gets watereddown.
So you do the best you can.
But I had a moment, two years,the second year into my school
leadership where I thought Idon't know if I can do this, and
that's when I was searchingonline for help.
And you're right, jeff, thatwas the first time I noticed
(22:32):
there's a huge gap in support atthe admin level.
It's kind of like, hey, you gothired, we're so happy you're
here, here are the keys.
Go live with you know, gofigure it out, live a great life
, but please don't come back tothe district asking for support
because we're too busy dealingwith other things and so you
really are figuring it out onyour own and it's very isolating
and it's scary.
There's a lot of there's a loton your plate, a lot of
(22:55):
responsibility, and you'rethinking about students, staff,
community.
You know, of course, testscores come in and scare the.
You know the GVs.
I was desperate to be successful.
I wanted to want the job, Iwanted to want it and I wanted
to be good at it.
(23:15):
And that's when I've literallyGoogled where to look for help.
And you can go to a conference,you can read a book, you can
talk to your peers.
That was about what wasavailable and I love going to
conferences, I love socializing,I love learning, but there is
you go and you're motivated andinspired and then you come back
(23:38):
into the realities and it's hardto integrate what you've
learned for the long haul, likeintegrated into your identity as
a principal, your methods andyour approach into leadership.
And so the next how long was Ia site leader?
Two years at that school.
Then they moved me back to myhomeschool.
(23:58):
Now I am the boss of my peersof 15 years, so I don't know if
you've experienced that.
I think a lot of principalsbecome the leader of their peers
.
That is an interesting dynamicto have to navigate.
And so, again, there wasn'tinternal support.
I sought support outside, butwhat I found was life coaching.
(24:22):
I didn't know what lifecoaching was, but I knew I
needed one because my life was abig mess.
I was not feeling like I wasdoing anything well, being a
parent, running my household,being a good principal, being an
instructional leader.
So I found this person, drMartha Beck, and I signed up for
(24:46):
her program, not to become alife coach, but to learn what it
meant to coach my own life.
I wanted some empowerment back,I wanted some agency, I wanted
a sense of control somewhere,somewhere along the way.
And from her I learned justsome techniques to just kind of
regulate myself emotionally whenI was overwhelmed, or to stop
(25:10):
and take time for myself to justliterally make sure that I'm
drinking water, make sure thatI'm eating lunch we weren't
running around so busy makingsure that I put time limits on
the amount of work that I did.
So I started playing around withthis idea of I'm a human in a
(25:32):
school leadership role versus.
I'm a school leader and that'smy only identity, because that
job's never done.
We all know that, and the samegoes for students.
If there are students listeningto this, you might just think
like the studying's never done,the learning's never done.
And on one hand, you're rightbecause we are lifelong learners
(25:54):
, but on the other hand, thereneeds to be something more than
studying, learning, test scores,achievement, and that there
needs to be living.
So there's all the doing, butthen there's also the living,
and that's where I got my firstlittle breath of fresh air, like
I'm going to be a human in thisjob, not just a robot trying to
(26:14):
keep up with the demands andthe wildness of school
leadership.
Yeah, so, yeah, yeah.
Principal JL (26:21):
So you're talking about, just you know, hey, yeah,
I'm a school leader, but I'malso a person, right.
Yes, and your journey on that?
Angela Kelly (26:49):
It was profound because what I did was I started
paying attention to what Ineeded as a person.
You have physical needs, right.
You need sleep, you need food,you need movement and exercise,
you need rest, you need to havepleasure and playtime in your
life.
You need this full experience.
So the more I tuned into me,the more I started realizing
(27:11):
that we are more connected thanseparate.
That was the profound changewhere I started seeing teachers
as just fellow humans, as fellowpeople on the planet.
We're all here for the rightreasons.
We're all here doing the bestjob we can trying to figure this
(27:35):
thing called education out,trying to figure out life.
We're all here and we all wantto feel good.
We all want to feel included,significant, important, valued,
connected, appreciated,cherished.
We all want to feel the samefeelings.
And so that, when I realizedwhat we're striving here, what
(27:58):
we're striving for in educationis human development, we're
striving to, you know, supportour young ones, our students,
with tools and skills tonavigate the human experience,
not just the learning, not justacademics, but their body,
physically changing anddeveloping and growing, and
(28:21):
their ability to interact withtheir peers and to build
friendships that have meaningand fill their hearts with joy
and fun and laughter andmemories, and same with teachers
.
Teachers go into this for theright reasons and if you believe
in that and you believe thatyour story is more similar to
their story than separate, wearen't admin and teachers, we're
(28:44):
humans, we're educators.
And that team when I really sawthat we're a team we want the
same things.
We want kids to be happy andsuccessful.
We want them coming to school.
We want to feel good aboutourselves as teachers.
Whether we're an admin, whetherwe're the secretary or the
nurse or the counselor or youknow, tech support or bus
(29:06):
driving or maintenance, we allwant to feel good about who we
are and what we're contributing.
And that's when I realizedequal contribution, but
different, equal value.
So our contributions whetheryou're a teacher, whether you're
a maintenance crew, we all arecontributing something valuable.
It just looks different.
So we're more together thanseparate.
(29:28):
And then I started teaching thatwith kids and they would come
into the office and have theirdisagreements and have their
conflicts and I would be able tostart talking with them about
the similarities and how we wantto feel the same way and what
we really want is to feel goodabout ourselves and our
connections with people and thenfrom there it just it's.
(29:49):
It started rolling.
I started getting how to be aleader, which was connection and
similarity over separation anddisconnect.
That's when, in 2015, I waslooking like how do I get more
of this, how do I become astronger leader, a better leader
?
And you know, jeff, againthere's a little bit out there
(30:11):
for school leaders.
It was starting to percolate.
There's organizations thatprovide incredible learning
connections.
I love it, and there was justthis little piece for me
personally that was missing, andthat's when I found the Life
Coach School.
I went and got certified in 2015.
(30:32):
School I went and got certifiedin 2015.
And I applied those conceptsfor two years as a principal.
Then I got promoted to thedistrict level.
I was the RTI coordinator forthe entire district we had.
We were able to build a reallyrobust academic RTI and
behavioral RTI program at mysite, and then I was supposed to
go and help my fellow peers dothe same at their schools.
(30:55):
Well, one year at the districtoffice is, if you've ever moved
from site to district leadership.
That's like a whole notherlevel of perspective and I was
like, okay, I can do this, but Idid.
I felt disconnected from kids.
So I spent a lot of time at thesites and I was like, okay, I
can do this, but I did.
I felt disconnected from kids.
So I spent a lot of time at thesites and what I learned is that
(31:16):
principals were coming togetherin the district at the
leadership team meetings.
Everyone had a smile on theirface, everyone was saying
everything was great and this iswhat they're going to do
problem solvers.
And then when I go back totheir sites and we'd close the
office door, the truth came outof how they really felt and the
struggles they were facing andthe pain they were in and the
insufficiency that they felt andthe disempowerment they felt.
(31:41):
They felt a lack of ability toinspire and create influence and
impact in their school as aleader.
And it's because that identityand leadership skills and all of
that was missing from theconversation.
It was be this task, manager,and I'm sure you run a school
because you went from a smallschool to a big school, right,
jeff?
Principal JL (32:01):
Yeah, I went from a school with about 175 students
to a thousand.
Yes, I made a pretty big jumpand kind of the great thing was
is when I was getting ready tomake that jump.
That's when I found yourpodcast.
Yes, that's right Kind of whatyou're doing.
I think we had like a freeconsult and we kind of worked
(32:22):
through some things because Iwas getting frustrated.
I'll be honest, I went on likein the last two years I was like
on 18 or 19 interviews becauseI was looking to be like, ok, I
want to take that next step.
There's other circumstances I'mnot going to get into for for
what I was doing in thissituation, but yeah, that's
(32:43):
where I because I was lookingfor at the time, how can I
become a better leader?
But also I need help because ofsomething I'm doing is not
working and what is it.
And I think that's when wetalked about you know a lot of
about your mindset.
You took me through the steercycle.
We did some brain drains and wewere really really able to
(33:03):
focus in on kind of what Ineeded to do to get into you
know the right mindset for that,to show people my value, show
people that you know, envisionmyself into their school and how
do I do that.
And so we worked you knowworked a lot on that.
(33:24):
And, of course, I was followingyou on Facebook and I listened
to your podcast, and so I wasjust kind of following along
because I needed something tokind of help me through the
journey.
Because you're right when youtalk about you know, go to these
conferences, you network, youdo these things.
I even go to, you know, ourregional and state conferences,
our regional meetings and thingslike that.
(33:46):
But then you go back and thenyou're on your own again.
So what can you get daily?
And I think that's kind ofwhere you're kind of fitting
into that piece, to where youcan help principals on the daily
with becoming a better leaderbut also being the best version
of themselves.
So, honestly, this podcast is aderivative from working with
(34:07):
you because you know, knowingthat there is not a lot out
there.
My goal with this podcast isbasically to connect people with
other people, but also tellother people's stories, but also
try to help other principals inthese situations or in these
leadership roles to be the bestthey can be.
And if I can help inspire andgive them some nuggets of
(34:31):
knowledge here and there, thatwould help them so they don't
have to go through some of thehard things you had to go
through or other previousprincipals had to go through as
well, because I think you'regoing to go through some dark
times as an educational leader,but to have somebody kind of
support you through that is animportant piece.
And I find that's kind of wherewhat you're doing now, going
(34:54):
from your district leader role,now you're the empowered
principal, guru, life coach.
You kind of help people withthat and you stay pretty busy
doing that.
So talk about that transitionyou talked about.
You know, I went to become alife coach.
(35:14):
You are starting to implementpractices.
I think the one thing you reallykind of talk about in your book
is you know your mindset, yourthoughtfulness or just how do
you think you know your brainworks and your STEAR cycle kind
of.
So kind of talk about you knowthe STEAR cycle.
Why is it important to help youbecome an empowered principal?
Angela Kelly (35:38):
Yes, of course I first have to do a shout out for
Jeff, because Jeff and I workedtogether as one-on-one client
and also he was a member of mygroup coaching program at the
Empowered PrincipalCollaborative.
But what I want to highlightabout Jeff was how quickly our
conversations went from justtalking to him implementing and
(36:01):
I don't mean so much like hedidn't add more to his plate, he
implemented, he adjusted hisapproach.
He didn't add to his plate, headjusted his approach by
broadening his perspective andit the other day we were talking
about.
You know how we support fellowadults to have conflict and
(36:38):
conversations and conflict andto resolve those as adults and
we have to be able to hold spacefor them.
And I just think Jeff does anincredible job of implementing
mindset plus skillset and thatsupportive approach and that
really the belief that hey,we're all here to feel good, to
(36:58):
do our best, we are on the sameteam.
I see that in your work, jeff.
I see it in your post, in yourwork, in the conversations that
you and I have, and this podcastis really a manifestation of
that work that you have doneright.
I was there to initiate thoseconversations with you and to
provide that awareness and toget you feeling aligned to what
(37:21):
you value and who you are.
But from there the momentum wasall used.
So Jeff is an incredible leaderand I'm I couldn't be happier
that he started this podcast,because he has so much wisdom to
share with you guys.
And what I love is this is justthe beginning.
So I I have to say that becauseI respect him, I appreciate him
and and this, this work thathe's doing.
(37:41):
He's not just talking at you inthis podcast, he's living it
and sharing his stories andexperiences with you in real
time.
So I really honor and respectthat.
So yes, so sorry, I had to saythat.
No, no, I appreciate it, yeah,yeah.
So back to the question was howI transitioned.
(38:02):
So that one year at thedistrict I saw people suffering
is really what happened.
I saw my peers suffering and itpained me, it ached me and I
thought we really are the same.
I felt that way, too, I.
It ached me and I thought wereally are the same.
Like I felt that way too.
I didn't.
I thought I was alone andisolated.
I thought it was just me.
I thought I was the one who wasinsufficient, or I didn't have
what it took, or I wasn'tcharismatic enough or smart
enough or, you know, organizedor disciplined enough.
(38:25):
But I see that it's the job.
And so if it's not the peoplethat are the problem, it's the
job.
And so if it's not the peoplethat are the problem and the job
is the job, it's just thereality.
If we can't go in and fix, wecan't go out and change what in
the job, even on the hard days,or even when the test scores
(38:58):
don't land where we'd like themto, or even when we're working
with a kid who's reallystruggling to regulate
emotionally, or working with anadult who is really struggling
to regulate emotionally.
And why don't we just have aspace where principals can talk
about this, talk about, like I'mbarely emotionally regulated
right now, let alone being ableto help somebody else regulate
emotionally.
We expect kids to emotionallyregulate, yet we sometimes don't
(39:23):
have the capacity to do thatourselves.
So, just in my own observationof me, that's where and through
the Life Coach School, I came upwith it's.
My coach calls her work themodel and and I took that and
ran with it and created theSTEAR Cycle.
But it it's just a tool, notjust it's a powerful tool, it is
(39:47):
a tool that helps you observeyour what's your brain is
offering you, your thoughts, andjust observe them.
Kind of give a little distancebetween you and your thoughts to
create that space so you canwrite them down on the paper,
type them up, and that's whatthe brain drain is, where you
can just like, wow, what isgoing on for myself right now?
(40:12):
And I've I've shifted a littlebit.
Like I wrote this book when Iwas a baby coach, a brand new
coach, and you know I it waslike my, my pride and joy at the
time, and I'm writing anotherbook right now.
Actually, too, what as I'vebeen this?
Yeah, breaking news.
Yes, breaking news.
It's good, you have to let meknow when it's out at your
(40:47):
thoughts.
But what I realized is that theemotional experience we're
having is truly the compass.
So you still look at yourthoughts, but what I would offer
to you now is what are youfeeling?
Being able to identify, becausesometimes you're feeling all
worked up and you don't knowreally what's going on inside
(41:08):
and you're going to have a braindrain, trust me, like, if
you're upset or you'refrustrated or you're overwhelmed
, the brain is going to go.
Well, there's this, this, this,this, this and let it.
Let it drain all out.
Eventually you're going to belike, okay, I got, I said my
piece and you'll feel a littlerelease of energy there.
But that practice gives you somespace in your mind to say, okay
(41:30):
, I've acknowledged how I'mfeeling.
I'm overwhelmed or I'm upset.
Here's why.
So what are you feeling?
Number one why are you feelingit?
That's the brain drain, all thethoughts are going to pour out,
and then you have some spacethere to be like huh, all right,
I'm acknowledging that I'moverwhelmed or I'm really upset
right now.
Valid, fair enough.
Now what?
(41:52):
And you can look at the thoughts.
You separate them from yourmind because they kind of just
one.
They go on repeat, they loopover and over and it feels like
there are 200 thoughts whenactually there's probably 20.
And they're just on repeat andloop and then they get all
jumbly and entangled in yourmind and you kind of go down
these rabbit holes.
But putting it on the paperhelps you, it finites them.
(42:14):
You start to see like there'sonly so many and then you can
say, okay, here's what I'mthinking.
How is that feeling?
Which ones of these feelterrible and which ones feel a
little better?
Let's lean over there, andthat's what my next book is
going to be about.
It's called Feel Good Goals.
It's about the goal here is tofeel good and we use this
process to, like, lean back intowhat feels more aligned, what
(42:38):
feels true, what feels good,what do we want to believe about
ourselves, about others, aboutour school and that?
So that's the gist of theempowered principle is how can I
take back, empower myself tofeel better, to learn what's
working, what's not, what do Iwant to shift to do differently?
(42:58):
But also this is another secretis that if you're having a
thought that feels terrible,like I'm not good enough, or I
really messed this up, or I'm afailure, I'm insufficient, in
some way we all have the notenough thoughts.
When they feel terrible and youfeel like you're in so much pain
, the little secret is thatthey're not true.
(43:21):
That's just your brain's way ofsaying like, hey, you know what
?
I don't want you to feel thepain of failing.
So I'm going to just tell youin advance don't even try,
because I don't want you to falldown and scrape your knee.
I'm going to protect you andkeep you safe.
And the brain can'tdifferentiate between real pain
(43:41):
and perceived pain.
So it's just it's going tofreeze you and say like, please
don't try this at home.
This could end, this couldresult in pain, whether that's
physical pain, emotional pain,mental pain, psychological pain.
We're so afraid of pain.
But if we lean into it andwe're looking at the steer cycle
and that's like, ooh, I'mreally feeling some pain here,
(44:01):
like let's say we failed, let'ssay we did and we acknowledge it
, it's better to validate that,acknowledge it and lean into it
and be like you know what, andthis is true.
I think I taught you, jeff,something called the land of and
where it's like this might betrue, but also equally true is
this other side where you canstart to feel better.
So even on those hard days,it's like yep, today was hard
(44:25):
and dot, dot, dot.
What's equally true are theseother things that are good.
There's the duality of our jobs.
There's really hard days,heartbreakingly hard days.
I just moved here to Nashvilleand in real time, I don't know
for those of you who know therewas a school shooting recently,
just this past week, and thereis a principal out there and a
(44:48):
family, multiple families, whoare in the biggest pain of their
life and to me, losing astudent on my watch is one of
the most unimaginable things andthat principal is in so much
pain and we can feel compassionfor that principal and it is
like probably our biggestnightmare and fear as a
(45:09):
principal is losing a student onour watch, when it's our job to
protect them and also knowingwe do our best but we aren't in
control of the world.
Then it becomes how do Inavigate this heartbreak, this
pain?
So, and pain is pain, right.
(45:30):
Whether you've lost a studentor you've lost a staff member or
whatever tragedy of any kindthat's happened at your school.
And hey, if you haven't had atragedy, don't feel bad that you
haven't had one.
You've had it in just adifferent format, right.
Whether it's like an IEP thatdidn't go well or a parent that
got upset and left your school,or there's different kinds of
(45:52):
pain, we all experience it.
So acknowledge your pain, leaninto it and just know people
like Jeff are out there andJeff's been through pain too.
He's been through really hardtimes and really hard
conversations.
He's had to lead people, he'shad to coach people.
He's had to coach people up,he's had to coach people out.
So you do both, but yourwillingness to expand your
(46:15):
capacity to feel pain also letsyou expand your capacity for joy
, and that's the duality of thisjob.
So that's really what I do in anutshell is I help people
navigate this thing callededucational leadership.
I help you navigate the hardstuff emotionally, mentally but
I also help you visualize andlearn and expand your
(46:37):
potentiality and yourpossibility about what you can
be, what you can experience.
And, hey guys, at the end ofthe day, we're all here to
support, to love, to have a goodtime and to create memories, to
create success stories, to beproud of ourselves, our students
and the work that our teachersand our team are doing.
And that's your legacy, that'swhat you want to leave behind.
(46:58):
But here we are.
Today, jeff, this will be amemory locked in time, an
experience that you and I arecreating, and then tomorrow this
will just be a memory and itwill be a beautiful memory and
it's one that we want to lock inand remember this forever.
But all of us are doing this,we're all out there at our
schools, you're present in theday, and that tomorrow, the next
(47:19):
day, this day is a memory.
So that brings me to just kindof I know we've been talking so
long here but wrapping up thispodcast episode, it's really
about intentionality, who wewant to be, not perfection, we
don't even want perfection, thatwould be very robotic.
We want to experience it all.
(47:40):
We want to have the capacity toexperience it all, and that's
something that I see Jeffmodeling, not just as a school
leader.
Jeff models it as a husband, asa friend, as a father.
I see him on his Facebook,empowered way, so that you can
enjoy your life.
You can enjoy, you can havebalance, you can work hard and
(48:13):
go home and play hard.
You can get the rest you needand put a lot of effort in.
You can have both, andbelieving that it's possible to
have both is where we start.
Principal JL (48:24):
Yes, and that's really what I love about the
work that you're doing is howyou're helping principals not
just manage the job, the task athand, but also how can they
just be someone that can enjoyjust being.
You know a husband, a father,you know a good friend, you know
somebody that's.
You know we are people outsideof this job.
(48:46):
We're not just, we just don'tgo home and do nothing.
We got, we got interests, wegot things we like to do, and so
you being able to tap in, Ithink there's not a lot that.
You're the only person I knowthat has the experience being a
teacher, a principal, a districtadmin.
But then this life coachingadventure you're on, where now
(49:07):
you're helping people navigatethat job, navigate how to find
the joy out of it, cause, likeyou said, it is, it's a tough
job.
There's going to be, um, youknow, great days and there's
going to be good days.
I always say, cause I I'm not,I'm a non-traditional educator.
I worked in a factory for threeand a half years and I always
(49:29):
tell people the worst day ineducation is better than the
best day of my factory job.
So I just enjoy what I do, butat the same time, I think it's
that mindset that we come inwith.
Having someone like AngelaKelly here to help you navigate
is something that I wouldencourage principals and
(49:52):
educational leaders to tap into.
So, angela, tell us what you'reup to with the Empowered
Principal.
How can people connect with you?
How can they reach out to you?
I'll probably well I'll putsome your email or some
connections down in the shownotes so people can easily find
(50:13):
you in the podcast.
But you know how can peopleconnect and get in touch with
you if they're really thinkingabout you know what a lot of the
things that I heard todayresonates with me, and I really
want to learn how to have thatwork-life balance.
(50:35):
How can they connect with you?
Angela?
Angela Kelly (50:36):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Yeah, I jumped into this jobaround, I think, 2017.
So I've been coaching for thelast eight school years and I
started with one-on-one coaching, as Jeff knows, and then the
demand expanded into I do havesome one-on-ones.
I don't coach you know a ton ofone-on-ones anymore, but I do
coach one-on-one with someprincipals, but the majority of
(50:57):
people are coming into theEmpowered Principal
Collaborative, which is a groupcoaching program, and what I
love about that is the synergy.
It's the you don't feel alone,like one-on-one is where we have
those confidential, privateconversations and I do offer
one-on-one sessions to themembers of EPC if there is
something confidential in natureor sensitive in nature that we
(51:19):
need to discuss offline.
But what's so great about thegroup is the collective wisdom,
the collective desire to feelgood, to improve, to expand
their impact on their schools,to also to like not take it all
on themselves, like to lightenthat load, to not feel alone.
(51:41):
I think it's.
I thought teaching was isolatingbecause you're in your school,
in your classroom, by yourself,but you have your colleagues,
you have your grade level teamor your department team, and
then you get into admin and, forme 550 students, you know 27
teachers, you know about 70staff members at my site and one
(52:02):
admin on campus.
That felt isolating and I waslike, okay, we need, we need.
There's got to be a place to gomingle and have some
conversations and have a littlebit of fun and actually just
lighten up about it, laugh aboutit.
Some of the stories you cannotmake these up and you've got to
be able to have a place wherepeople understand you and they
can laugh and have a good time.
So EPC, the Empowered PrincipalCollaborative, is my group
(52:25):
coaching program.
So if you are interested inlearning more number one, you
can just listen to the podcastand kind of get to know me.
The Empowered Principal Podcast.
You can pick up the book audio.
It's on Audible, it's on youknow.
You can buy the hard copy ifyou want.
And then you can find me on mywebsite, angelakelleycoachingcom
.
But the Empowered Principal iswhere I'm at.
(52:46):
I hang out primarily onFacebook and Instagram, but you
can also find me on LinkedIn.
Reach out if you have anyquestions or concerns.
Principal JL (52:55):
You bet All right, Angela, it was really great to
have you on the show today.
You know it's fun to listen tojust your journey as an
educational leader and how youbecame the empowered principal
you are today and I reallyappreciate the work you're doing
because it's meaningful andit's, you know, something that
(53:16):
we, as educational leaders, needand you know I hope today's
podcast helped someone out theretoday get connected with you,
to you know if they're reallyneeding and searching for
something to help them become abetter educational leader.
So thank you for being on theshow today.
Angela Kelly (53:37):
It's so wild to be a guest on a show Like I have
my own podcast and I spend mytime being the interviewer, and
so it was a blast to be herewith you, jeff, and I'm excited
to actually share this interviewwith my audience as well, for
them to hear your story, butalso I don't know that I've ever
really shared my story to thisdepth.
(53:57):
So it was really fun and justthank you for the privilege and
the honor of being here today.
I had a lot of fun.
Principal JL (54:04):
Awesome, thank you .
I hope you guys enjoyed thisepisode with Angela Kelly.
I am truly honored and gratefulthat she came on this podcast to
share with you guys how to bean empowered principal.
She gave you guys a lot ofgreat insights on her own
journey, which I very muchappreciate, because we all have
(54:27):
our journeys out there when itbecomes a effective school
leader.
So, if you enjoyed this podcast, I would truly love it if you
guys would subscribe or followthis podcast on your favorite
podcast app.
I would also love it if youleave a review, because when you
leave reviews, you make theshow more discoverable for other
(54:51):
school leaders like you, so wecan build this community of
educational leaders together.
If you would like to get intouch with Angela Kelly and
learn more about the AngelaKelly coaching, I will drop her
website in the show notes foryou so you guys can reach out to
her if that's something thatyou would like to do.
Well, I hope you guys foundvalue in this episode.
(55:14):
It was a lot of fun doing itand until next time, always look
to be 1% better.
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