All Episodes

July 10, 2024 19 mins

How can you help keep mom and dad safe when they can't feel their fingers or toes?

Does your aging parent struggle with tingling, numbness, or pain in their hands and feet? This episode of Eldercare Success dives deep into the world of neuropathy, a common condition among seniors that can significantly impact their independence and quality of life. Host Nancy May shares her personal experience caring for her father with neuropathy, offering compassionate insights and practical advice for navigating the challenges caregivers face. Discover how neuropathy affects daily activities like eating, dressing, and even walking, and learn ten actionable strategies to empower your loved one to maintain their dignity and autonomy. From adaptive kitchen tools and mobility aids to home safety modifications and understanding the importance of proper footwear, this episode equips you with the knowledge and resources to provide the best possible care for your aging parent.

Key Concerns for Family Caregivers:

  • Safety Risks: Neuropathy increases the risk of falls and accidents due to numbness in extremities.
  • Loss of Independence: Simple tasks like buttoning clothes or using utensils can become difficult, impacting dignity and autonomy.
  • Communication Challenges: Understanding the impact of neuropathy on your parent's ability to communicate their needs.
  • Finding the Right Adaptive Tools: Navigating the world of adaptive equipment and identifying products that meet your parent's specific needs.
  • Emotional Well-being: Caring for a parent with neuropathy can be emotionally challenging; prioritizing self-care and seeking support is crucial.

5 Key Takeaways: Listen in because there are actually 10 in this episode.

  1. Neuropathy is More Than Just Numbness: It can cause pain and tingling and affect balance, making everyday activities difficult and increasing fall risks.
  2. Adaptive Tools are Essential: Simple modifications like rocker knives, grab bars, and non-slip mats can make a huge difference in your parent's independence.
  3. Proper Footwear is Crucial: Well-fitting, supportive shoes are essential to prevent falls and ensure comfort.
  4. Where Occupational Therapy Can Help: OT can provide personalized strategies and exercises to improve dexterity, strength, and mobility.
  5. Patience and Dignity are Key: Approach caregiving with empathy, understanding, and a focus on preserving your parent's dignity.

Helpful Links:


How you can help:

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a friend, family member, or even someone you see at your local coffee shop who might be dealing with similar caregiving challenges. Don't forget to subscribe to "Doing it

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nancy May (00:05):
Hi there.
I'm Nancy May, the hostof Eldercare Success.
before we get started, I wanted to sharea comment from one of our listeners.
Chrissy Smith.
Chrissy says, I just wanted to let youknow how I'm really enjoying your podcast.
My in laws are at a stage wherethey need help and don't want it.
My parents are pretty goodabout accepting help, but I know

(00:26):
it's difficult for them too.
Great show!.
Thanks Chrissy and thank you so much foreverybody else who's willing to share
their comments and their thoughts oreven make a suggestion or ask a question.
That's what we're here for.
Because as I always like tosay, together we're stronger.
Now, let's get on with the show.
This show's about helping our parentsgain a little bit more independence

(00:50):
when they have that tingly feelingin their hands and feet, and may
not even be able to feel them.
It's called neuropathy.
I had first hand experiencewatching my dad struggle with
the impact of neuropathy.
It was heartbreaking actually to see howhis condition affected his ability to
perform even some of the most basic tasks.
Things like eating or writing me notes,where he always said in his letters to

(01:15):
me, Oh, I hope you can read my handwritingbecause I can't feel my fingers.
Or anytime I visited, he would say, Ican't feel my fingers, but that's okay.
I get along.
I'm all right.
And he did, but even still, walkingsometimes became incredibly difficult
because he couldn't feel his feet.
I know that many of you listeninghere probably have similar challenges

(01:38):
in taking care of your parents.
They don't want to admit that there'sa problem, and that's okay, but just
knowing or being aware of it can make allthe difference in their life and yours.
I'm going to dive into a little bit moreabout what neuropathy is and how it can
dramatically impact your parents life,their independence, and most importantly,

(02:00):
some practical steps that you can taketo make their lives just a little bit
easier and give them some more dignity
Whether it's specialized utensils.
Or mobility aids or adaptive techniques.
There are so many ways that we can useto support our parents to make their
lives just a little bit easier when, Oh,my fingers are numb and I really can't

(02:21):
feel that pencil when I'm writing toyou, But I hope you can read my writing.
Comes out.
by the end of this episode, I hopeyou'll have a better understanding
of neuropathy and have a littlebit more power to take control or
give control back to your parents.
So what is neuropathy?
It's actually kind of a catch allterm that describes damage in the

(02:43):
nerves, which can lead to a numbness, atingling, or even a pain, especially in
extremities like the hands and the feet.
Neuropathy in the hands and feet, alsoknown as peripheral neuropathy, say that
one three times fast, can be caused by avariety of factors, including diabetes,
Sometimes vitamin deficiencies,like vitamin D, which is pretty

(03:07):
easy to happen to an aging parent.
it can also be a result of an autoimmunedisease like rheumatoid arthritis,
lupus, Gillian Barr syndrome, and otherthings that actually attack the nerves.
neuropathy can also happenas a result of infections,
and even toxins that can buildup in the body over time.

(03:28):
Some medications can actuallycause neuropathy as well,
like chemotherapy drugs.
then neuropathy can also happenas a result of injuries or trauma
that have impacted the nervesover time, hereditary disorders.
And even kidney and thyroid disease.
For my dad, neuropathy wasprimarily in his hands and feet.

(03:50):
Years earlier, he hadhad both hips replaced.
In fact, he actually had one hip replaceda second time because it wore out.
His doctor told him he exercised too much.
Dad loved tennis.
Dad also had arthritis in hishands, which is not uncommon
for a lot of elderly people.
And he would complain about thetingling or numbness or not being

(04:13):
able to feel a pencil When he wastrying to write me letters, even in
making notes, I could see the videosthat the aides would send me, and dad
would be making lists for Christmascards and gifts to give at holidays
and other things that he wanted to do.
He was a list maker for sure.
And just getting the notes out for himselfso that he could read them was difficult.

(04:37):
Sometimes even eating properly atthe table was difficult for him.
Simple tasks like picking up aknife and a fork or holding a cup.
Can you imagine what it's like totry and feed yourself when you can't
feel the fork that you're holdingor the cup that you're holding?
You can see it, but youcan't actually feel it.
It's kind of weird for sure.

(05:00):
It also makes life incredibly difficultjust for daily activities, That loss
of dexterity and the sensation not onlymade him overly dependent on others,
although he tried not to be, but ata higher risk for falls and injuries.
You see, when you can't feel yourfeet, you also tend to shuffle.
So having proper fittingshoes is important.

(05:23):
It's also important to understand thatwhen neuropathy attacks the feet, you're
not able to necessarily feel if there'sa sore or a rub going on in a shoe that's
ill fitted or just not comfortable.
We always try to make sure that dad'sshoes were the right size, he had big
feet, and that the cushioning of the sockswere good for him too and didn't bunch up.

(05:46):
That's not easy for a caregiver likeus to do because, you know what,
socks bunch up even in my own shoes.
And if you can't feel them,those wounds happen very
quickly on frail, delicate skin.
And yes, the skin on our feet becomesvery frail and very think over time
But those wounds can createbigger problems down the road.

(06:07):
So pay attention to shoes and socksand how your dad and mom's feet
actually fit into their shoes.
Unfortunately, a lot of podiatristswill sell you these ugly, I call them
Clawhoppers, the shoes that dad hadgotten looked like Frankenstein shoes,
and I think because the toes were solarge, I understand because they wanted

(06:27):
to make sure there wasn't any rubbingor the inside of the shoes, but they
also looked like they were probablycausing dad more problem than help.
You see, these big boxy toeswhen you can't feel your feet
are difficult to pick up.
So understand that when looking forproper shoes and fitting When dealing with
parents who have neuropathy in their feet,

(06:50):
one of the biggest hazards for anelderly person who has neuropathy is
the dangers of falls or accidents.
You see, neuropathy can evenmake it difficult for somebody to
even notice if they've been cut.
Well, unless they look down and seethere's blood everywhere on the floor.
That's not such a good thing, becausethen you got to run and get a band aid,

(07:13):
or a bandage, or God forbid, a tourniquet.
Okay, I'm slightly over exaggerating,but you don't want to get there.
when walking, it's also difficult forthem to properly gauge the position of
their feet and where they're placing them.
So tripping on the edge of a carpet oreven picking your feet up high enough
To get over the edge of the garagedoor into the house can be difficult.

(07:38):
One of the best things that I lovefor that problem is to make sure that
you've got a ramp from your garageor your front door into the house.
That makes it just a littleeasier in picking up feet so
that they can clear the doorstep.
Well, they don't even have to clear thedoorstep because it's a smooth ride up the
hill and a gentle one, hopefully, at best.

(08:00):
Beyond safety concerns likewalking or falling even because
you can't feel your feet
and yes, even feeling thatyou've got a cut and are bleeding
like a pig all over the place.
Maybe not like a pig, but in anycase, beyond safety concerns,
neuropathy can also make it extremelydifficult for an older person to

(08:23):
deal with basic daily activities.
That sense of dignity and wanting tobe able to dress yourself or bathe
yourself can be difficult as well.
for example, buttoning.
Now, buttoning shirts or pants orzippers or anything like that, again,
when you can't feel your hands, justgetting a grip on something or knowing
if your grip is tight enough isn't easy.

(08:45):
one way to make that a littleeasier is to make sure that clothing
doesn't have buttons or zippers.
There are a lot of attractive clothes outthere now for older people and younger
people, where they're just pull ups.
can you imagine dad in Lululemons?
Lululemon, but I don't evenknow if they have them for guys.

(09:06):
I guess I'll have to check that one out.
Dad always loved his buttoned pajamas,but our aides made sure that his
dignity was kept intact and helpedhim make sure that they were buttoned
properly, or buttoned them up firstand got them in up over his head.
Losing that sense of autonomyand dignity is really devastating
for many of our folks.

(09:28):
And it's hard for us to watch too.
As caregivers, we have to be proactivein finding ways to support our parents
and to help them maintain theirindependence as long as possible.
I know we all want to step in and say,Mom, Dad, maybe you need a little help.
And they're reluctant to accept it.
You've got to understand they've beentaking care of us all their lives,

(09:50):
even if we're well into our fifties.
and thinking of us as the ones thatcare for them can be difficult.
So a little gentleness goesa long way on both sides, but
here are 10 ways to help your olderfolks with neuropathy issues so they
can keep their dignity intact and youcan keep your head and heart intact.

(10:12):
first is to invest.
And adaptive kitchen tools,things like turnkey jar openers.
Or a rocker knife.
Now, I actually don't recommend arocker knife because all you need to
do is get your finger underneath thatif they don't have both hands on.
And oops, dad's lost a finger.
Not a good thing.

(10:33):
However, there are these big griphandle utensils, forks and knives,
that have a rubber grip to them.
And they're great.
They look a little clunky, and my dadwas reluctant to use them at first.
But, you know what?
After he started to use them, he actuallycould feed himself, and not have to worry

(10:54):
about the food falling off the fork.
so that kept everybody happy, me included.
There are also larger plasticcups that can be held with kind of
like sippy cup handles on eitherside made specifically for adults.
now the kid ones are kind ofsmall And again, if you're dealing
with arthritis, gripping a handaround a small item is not easy.

(11:17):
So I recommend getting a hold of thebigger grippy handle ones for adults.
number two is encouraging gentle exercise,which is going to help improve circulation
and mobility in hands and feet.
Now that doesn't have to be a lot.
A small one pound weight, just movingthe wrist up and down is a great one.
Or even those squishy balls.

(11:38):
They can be fun becausethey can be funny faces.
I found one the other day thatlooked like a French bulldog.
How cute is that?
The third is to ensure that yourparents have well fitted and
supportive footwear to prevent falls.
That includes making sure they'renot too slippery and not too sticky.
Sticky shoes can sometimes grip too hardto carpets and that becomes a problem.

(12:02):
Number four is thinking about thingsin the shower, like grab bars, non slip
mats, and other safety features thatare going to make sure that they can
actually get a good grip on something.
Now, a couple of weeks ago, we talkedabout grip bars and the smooth, fancy
ones that are very attractive and maybedesignery like look lovely, but if

(12:23):
they don't have some sort of texturewhere their hand isn't going to slide
down, it's going to be more difficultfor your parents to get a good hold on
something like that and prevent a fall.
So, make sure that the grip barsactually have some texture on them.
Number five is some topical painmedication strategies that can actually
soften or ease the nerve discomfort.

(12:44):
You know, there are a couple of CBDcreams that are apparently very good.
I tried one once and I didn'tthink it did anything, but you
never know, it might work for you.
Number six is a cane, especiallythose ones that have the little
fore grips at the end, a walker.
Now walkers are important, becauseyou want to make sure that they're
designed to make sure that your parentis able to stand upright, vertical,

(13:08):
because there are some that theMedicare organizations give away.
And they actually tilt the body forward.
So your center of gravity is well overthe front of your knees or your hips.
And that's dangerous too.
I personally like the drive models.
I find them to be sturdy and steady.
Generally, most of the models aredesigned to make sure that your

(13:29):
parents stay vertical, not at anangle that improves their stability
and confidence in walking as well.
Number seven is to make sure thattheir living space is well lit to
reduce for any vision changes thatmight be going on, especially at night.
Now, if they've got some support atnight, you or an aide or somebody
else, then making sure that they'rearound to help them get from the

(13:52):
bathroom to the bed or whereverthey might want to go is important.
But even then, we need a little extralight at night sometimes too, to make
sure that we can see where we're going.
The last thing I'd wantto do is trip over dad.
Not a good thing, right?
Number eight is Occupational Therapy.
Sometimes it works, but you're going toneed a recommendation or a prescription

(14:16):
from a doctor to make sure thatyou can get PT or OT in the house.
You don't need to take mom and dadto a physical therapy location to
have them go through the gruelingexercises that they might be placed
through at a place like that.
The comfort of your own home,or their own home, I think is
always best, when possible.
Number nine is to wear, I call themlittle stretchy gloves to make sure

(14:41):
that they have a little bit more gripin opening things or doing other tasks.
They may not always look pretty, butyou know what, you can get them in
some pretty wild colors and that canbe fun too, especially when you've got
a little bit more grip on the inside.
They can be lightweight and comfortable.
and if you're dealingwith clothes for mom.
Why not hot glue a little bling on them?

(15:02):
They can be a fashion statement.
Your fashion statement,maybe not Yves Saint Laurent.
Had to say that.
Number 10.
Most importantly, please bepatient and understand and focus
on preserving your parents dignity.
Their dignity is goingto make your life better.
And it's going to help your heart too.

(15:25):
Neuropathy can dramatically impactan elderly parent's independence
and quality of life and put them athigher risks of falls or accidents.
Adaptive equipment, mobility aids,home safety modifications can go a
long way in helping your mom or dadregain autonomy and independence.
And then working closely witha medical professional using a

(15:46):
compassionate and thoughtful approachare key to supporting our parents
through this challenging condition.
I love that my dad cared enough towrite me notes, even if I couldn't
read them or they were kind of catscratched because of his neuropathy.
I'm pretty sure he likedsending me notes as well.
it didn't matter that they weren't long.

(16:06):
The fact that he was taking the timeto do so is all that mattered to me.
And I'm pretty sure thatmattered to him too.
watching our folks strugglewith any debilitating effect of
neuropathy is pretty difficult.
but as a caregiver, I hope that thesetips make the quality of life for
your mom and dad just a little bitbetter and the quality of life for

(16:27):
you as their caregiver easier too.
And before I go, speaking offalls and accidents, that can
happen as a result of neuropathy.
Yep, they can even slide offa chair, believe it or not.
I heard that from a traumasurgeon, and he said, most of the
accidents as a result of falls
Happened when somebody's in a chair.

(16:48):
Hard to believe, but it's true.
So, maybe we get neuropathy in our butts.
Oh, I better stop sitting hereand recording this podcast.
On that thought, please, to help yourfolks, should they have to call 9 1 1,
don't forget to get the book, How toSurvive 9 1 1 Medical Emergencies, a step
by step guide before, during, and after.

(17:09):
It's written specifically foryou, the caregiver in mind, and
more importantly, your folks.
We deal with everything from what to dobefore you have an emergency all the way
through to the end and getting out anddischarged faster and making sure that
your folks get home safely and soundly.
And even what happens whenthe 911 system goes down.

(17:31):
In fact, the 911 system went downin Texas just a couple of weeks ago.
So yes, it does go down.
And then if you like this show,please give it a five star rating.
At least I hope you'll do that.
You can get to any of yourfavorite listening platforms
by going to EldercareSuccess.
Live, and you can listen to ourepisode there on Apple, Spotify,

(17:52):
or any other place you want to.
But please remember, theshow is EldercareSuccess.
Live.
Please share it with your friends,your family members, or even somebody
that you see that might be standingonline behind you at Starbucks or
Dunkin Donuts or at the grocery store.
And just looking a little stressed out.
You know what?
They could be a caregiver too.
A note about this show can be your giftto them, because it's my gift to you.

(18:17):
Take care, be well, and keep caring.
Bye bye.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club

Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club

Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.