From Heartbreak to Healing ft. Dominic Sesma

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Elohim Podcasts, a podcast about real
life issues from a biblicalperspective.
On this podcast, we don't justwant to be entertained, we want
to be changed.
Listen to the end to hear whatGod has for your life.
Elohim Podcasts.
Welcome to Elohim Podcasts, apodcast about real life issues

(00:24):
from a biblical perspective.
It's been an honor and apleasure to be able to be in
this place.
We're here in Prensa, Arizona.
This is their studio andthey've allowed us to be here
with my brother, Dom.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Thank you for having me on here.
It's humbling, it really is.
Thank you for what you do.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, man.
And for those that don't know,we did not plan this.
Producer, can you put the whiteshirt on?
Oh man.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
You can tell which ones are fake, which ones are
real.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
I didn't tell them to wear these shoes, but we're in
the spirit.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
We're in the same spirit.
Let's do it.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Well, those that don't know, Dom is a Hooper.
He plays basketball way betterthan me.
I am past my prime.
I have a dad bod.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
I'm slim thick, it's because he has like five kids.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
That's it.
I'm slim, thick.
I'm not in shape like you are,you know, and, bro, like when
you're on the basketball courtI'm like man, he's playing
aggressive, he's playing withathletic.
I'll be praying for you, bro,that you don't forget that
you're Christian bro.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Man, it's hard.
It's hard, man.
It's funny because that'sexactly what a lot of like my
friends say to like man, likechill out man.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Like it's super competitive.
I remember because our churchsometimes we would rent a window
of sports complex and yourbrother got to play on the same
team that you were playing on.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
We were playing playing pick up ball, you
freaking suck, that's my brother, man, that's my brother, he
knows what's up and it's it's.
I'm very competitive, I'm very,very competitive, and but
that's part of my testimonythough.
Honestly, when it comes tobasketball, basketball was never
my life, it was just a train.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
It took me to a lot of places and but yeah, it was
awesome.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
But I'll just talk about you real quick, though,
man, for, like you said, it'sbeen a year, yeah, a year, since
a little bit over the year.
I know it was December of 2022.
Yeah, it was your last episode,and I know season one there was
24 episodes, so let's catch usup with you, man.
What's been going on from lastepisode to season one of, or
season two of, episode one?

(02:25):
You know what?
What's going on in your life,man?

Speaker 1 (02:27):
I know you said you mentioned that season one.
You watched it, but you were onmy radar.
I was going to ask you to be aguest a long time ago, first guy
.
So in December 22, I, I endseason one.
That whole year was crazybecause I don't know how I had
time to do a low-heam podcast,because I was dealing with my

(02:47):
mom's cancer.
She was, she had chemo inMexico, so every month I was
taking her down to Hermosillo,sonora.
That's where she had herchemotherapy and God just you
know he provided financially.
I was still busy when they cameto ministry.
That whole year I got to spenda lot of time with my mom, my

(03:07):
mom in 2016, she heads over toMexico.
My parents had gotten a divorce.
She goes to Mexico and you knowshe lives there and I was only
like what, 20, 21?
And it was a tough seasonbecause I was still young, I was
still developing.
So, having my mom go to Mexico,that meant that I wasn't going
to see her as much, I wasn'tgoing to spend time with her as

(03:28):
I used to, I wasn't going to gethome to a hot meal, and it was
very difficult to to adjust.
But God was with me the wholeprocess.
So when she goes to Mexico, youknow I work, I go to college,
I'm doing all these things.
I started preaching.
I started I had a worship team.
It was called Gracie Knight itis so the name is so funny but

(03:50):
we were playing at so many youthevents and it was a blessing.
Like I was so busy but I wasn'tspending a lot of time Like I
wish I could with my mom.
And when cancer comes and shegives us the news, I remember it
was very impactful.
I didn't know how to react.
I remember I was in my officeand when the news happened, my

(04:12):
mom was worried about how wasshe going to pay for her Kemos
and all these other things.
And I remember when she hangedup, I was thankful that I had
money set aside and all thisstuff.
But I remember getting on myknees and telling God and
specifically the devil, becauseyou know what people don't know
is that the devil is notomnipotent, omnipresent,

(04:34):
omniscient.
He's not all powerful, allknowing, and he's not in all
places.
His demons might be sent to youand they watch you and they see
you and they know what's yourweakness and they know how to
tempt you, but they don't.
The devil doesn't follow youeverywhere you go.
So I was on my knees and I said, devil, if you're listening to

(04:55):
me right now, I want to tell youthat no matter what happens in
my life, no matter the outcomeof this situation, I will not
stop worshiping and serving God.
And that was a strongdeclaration, because I didn't
know everything I was going togo through.
I knew cancer was hard, I knewcancer was difficult, but it
wasn't until we actually madethe trips to Mexico.

(05:17):
It wasn't until actuallysitting down for hours at the
clinics at the facility.
It wasn't until seeing my momin pain.
Man is so hard when you seeyour loved ones crying, when you
see them in agony.
And I remember when my brothershaved her head because the hair

(05:37):
starts falling out when you'redoing chemotherapy.
He shaved her head and then Iget to Mexico a couple of days
later and I was in a good spirit.
I was trying to be positive andjust be that person that
motivates my mom and would spoilher by her whatever she wanted.

(05:57):
But the moment I saw her browithout hair like bald you know
what I'm saying I just couldn'thold it.
I just started to cry.
Did it scare you.
It scared me because I'm likethis is real, right.
You know you've seen cancerpatients.
You know they don't have hairand they have something on their
head to cover them.
And when you have cancer butyou still have your hair and

(06:20):
stuff like that, you know it'sthere but it's not real yet.
The power behind that.
So when I saw my mom withouther hair, it just hit me hard.
You know, I started to tear up,I started to cry.
But the thing about this wholething is that I didn't think
that death was going to be theresult.
Wow, I never thought I thoughtthat my mom was really going to

(06:44):
get through this.
I really had the biggest faithin Jesus, and I still do, but I
never for a second reallythought that my mom was going to
pass away.
So in 20, 22 of December, Idecided to take a break.
Season one was coming to an end.
My plan was for 30 days to goon and for me to enjoy and take

(07:07):
a break, and my mom was supposedto ring the bell in January,
finishing her last chemo.
So we were celebrating.
You know, in Mexico you got tocelebrate with tacos and
horchata, and so we celebrate inJanuary and we are at a very
nice restaurant and we're havinga good time and I remember the

(07:30):
doctor for the following visittells my mom oh, you're going to
start your radiation, you'regoing to have to stay here for
30 days.
And I remember so vividly when Iwas leaving my aunt's house in
Hermosillo, I felt some type ofway man, it's just like the Holy
Spirit.
And I remember my mom was atthe gate and I tell her I was
like mom, I'll see you in 30days, you know, and.

(07:53):
But I just felt like it's likea scene in a movie and you're
just saying bye and she washappy and we were celebrating.
But I drive back the whole wayback to Nogales because usually
she would come with me.
Yeah, I would look forward tothose days because in the
mornings when we go to our chemo, we wake up early.
We already had a spot where weget our coffee or burritos.

(08:13):
Some guy would sell burritos atan oxo and people don't know
what an oxo is.
It's like a Mexican circle, kyeah, and you know we had this
routine.
So on the way back, we also hada routine and just leaving her
behind, I just felt some type ofway and little did.
I know that that was the lasttime I was going to really see
her on her feet Because when Iwent back we started the 21 days

(08:37):
of prayer and fasting and I andI thank God for that season
because that really prepared mespiritually and, in a way,
mentally of what was going tohappen.
And around February her healthdeclines hardcore.
They started calling me tellingme that she's not doing well.
She loses the ability to walk,she starts hallucinating, she's

(09:02):
in a great amount of pain and Iwas like maybe this is just the
result and the side effects ofchemotherapy or of radiation,
sorry.
So I go back and I'm just likeshe's not right and she starts
forgetting who I am.
She couldn't recognize me atnight.
How was that?

Speaker 2 (09:20):
How was that?
Like, I can't, I haven'texperienced that Like and this
is your mom, this is one thatyou really really love.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Bro, I understand when people that have family
members that have dementia likehow painful that is, because in
the last weeks of my mom's lifeshe was confusing me for some
doctor and like she would lookat me straight in my face and,
straight up, wasn't there, shewould.
I would be sleeping next to herand she's like, can you see
that?
Can you see that?

(09:48):
And she would start yelling andcalling my name Like I'm right
here, next to you, mom.
So eventually we got a testdone.
They did an image of her brain,a CT scan and an MRI and all
these other tests and the doctorputs it on the screen and there

(10:09):
was a big tumor on her brainand my mom had gotten diagnosed
with breast cancer.
But what happened is that thebreast cancer ended up spreading
to her brain.
And I remember just in shock, Icouldn't believe it.
Like when it's in the brain,you're just like it's different
having a tumor in your breastthan having it in your brain.
And I remember we go home andand I'm not my home but in my

(10:35):
aunt's house and I'm in the roomand I started crying, bro, I
just I couldn't believe it.
This is it.
And my mom goes in there and I,she wasn't all there anymore.
She, she was there, but notthere.
You know what I'm saying.
And she's like son, why are youcrying?
And I'm like and I justcouldn't talk.
And she said you did everythingyou could, you were a good son,

(10:56):
oh man.
And in a moment, like I justknew that this was it.
And I'm saying she said you dideverything you could, you
helped me, you took care of me.
And it was just so hard becauseI just started to cry and I
knew these were the last momentstogether, because the way that

(11:17):
she was in pain, the way thatshe was acting, the way
everything had happened, and sothat month that I planned to
take a break of turn into awhole year, wow, it's been a
process.
I can honestly say God hasworked in my character and my
ego.
When I prayed to God to startthis podcast again, I said God,

(11:40):
let it not be about me.
I'm not seeking fame, I'm notseeking a name for myself.
Even this, even this podcast,I'm like I don't want to share a
wound without a healing.
Come on, I know my scar iscoming soon.
When I mean by that issometimes people share a wound,

(12:01):
they share a story from a woundand not a scar, and I don't just
want to share a wound withoutthe healing and when I meant my
scar is coming.
I know this is a process.
I've spoken with my pastor,john, and he lost his father as
well during COVID and all thisstuff, and I know it's a process

(12:22):
.
But you know what, and thiswhole journey that I've embarked
on and that I walked through,god has been with me the whole
time.
Yes, he has.
I'll lie to you if I told youthat I've been 100% this whole
journey.
I've lied to you if I never didsomething I regret doing
because I was trying to copewith my emotions.
I went through it all.
I went through anger At first,I went through denial, I went

(12:45):
through anger.
I had to or officiate my mom'sfuneral.
I didn't know that I officiatedmy mom's funeral.
Bro, having to pick out thecasket and where you're going to
bury your mother is one of thehardest things, or probably the
hardest thing I've done in mylife.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
I can't imagine that.
I love my mom, I can't so foryou to go through that and for
those of you that don't know,ezekiel, what you went through,
just with your mom at it, it'ssuch a testimony seeing your son

(13:26):
Worship, you see, because, likethe devil can take what he
wants, he can yeah, he can Tryto manipulate you and he could
take over a lot of things inyour mind.
And but what?
When I see you worshiping, whenI see you ministering, and how
you minister to me, dude, let metell you it's a blessing, but

(13:46):
I'm so thankful that you're inmy life.
Yeah, and it's funny because ifanyone who doesn't know you and
they meet you, they'll feel theHoly Spirit with you and they
will never know what you justspoke on because of how well you
handled the pain.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
You know what I can do, all things through Christ
who strengthens me.
It's not me, bro, like in myown strength.
I would have picked up atequila shot every day.
Yeah, there was that temptationof just numbing the pain.
If it was me, I would besmoking a joint or a blunt.
It was up to me.
I would have done a lot ofthings that didn't please the
Lord to try to do it in my ownstrength.

(14:25):
Somebody told me the other dayyou're a good man.
And I told him, brother, I'mnot a good man.
Anything that's good in me isbecause of God.
Amen.
You can't spell good withoutGod.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
And I told him bro, and there's anything.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Good about me or anything that you admire about
me.
It doesn't come from Ezekiel,it doesn't come from my own
strength.
It comes from God, and the onlyway that I that I know how to
get out of a situation isGrabbing my guitar.
This is how I do it.
It's getting in my office andmy, in my room, in my house, my
secret place, grabbing my guitaror putting on some worship,

(15:04):
apple music, whatever it is andpraising God, bro, and getting
on my knees and just crying outto him.
I don't got it all together.
God, like, literally, get meout of this situation.
And this reminds me and I knowI have you as a guest, bro, but
this is long overdue but in 2019, the people don't know this
very almost nobody from YA FWCknow this.

(15:25):
Probably you're the only personthat I'm telling right now, and
then whoever watches this.
But in 2019, bro, I had ameltdown, I had a breakdown.
I shaved my head, like notcompletely, but like I've always
had a type of hair like this.
I couldn't show her.
I Was very depressed.
I couldn't see the color andthings.
Everything looked gloomy.
I felt like I had a cloud overmy head, and Sometimes we go

(15:49):
through a lot of traumas in ourlife but we put it in the back
burner, right.
You, your mind might forget, butyour body does it.
I got diagnosed.
I went to see a therapist, mydoctor.
They do a PHQ nine at yourregular doctor's office and,
depending on how you score this,they'll talk to you about your
mental health.
And I score very high on it,like suicidal thoughts,

(16:10):
depressed, all this stuff.
And then she had a conversationwith me.
She said I think you would havebeen in fit from going to see a
therapist.
So I go see a therapist andthat day I was diagnosed with
PTSD, post-traumatic stress.
I was diagnosed with bipolar,being bipolar.
I got diagnosed with insomniaand depression and I was
prescribed a couple medicationsfor depression, for insomnia, so

(16:34):
I could sleep, and I was giventhose diagnosis.
Wow, it's 2019, 2019 In a couple.
A month passes by and it hit me.
I'm like God.
How can somebody that servesyou, how can someone that
believes in you, how cansomebody feel this way?
God, I refuse to live a life ofdepression.

(16:58):
You may go through a moment ofdepression, you may go through
anxious moments, yeah, but tolive in those seasons, to stay
in those seasons, that's adifferent story.
Yeah, I had to ask God toreally deliver me.
I got the, the medication, Iput it in the bag and I tossed
it to the side.
I grabbed my guitar and Istarted to sing to God.
I started to worship to God andI can honestly tell you that I

(17:21):
Worshiped and I praised my wayout of my depression, out of my
anxiety.
You could have chose to staythere.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
Yeah, there's a lot, of, a lot of young adults do he,
do they like, they like thatfeeling.
It's, it's scary, it's a scaryfeeling.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
You know what God did ?
He, he convicted me and he, he,he pushed me towards
forgiveness.
Hmm, yes, I worship God.
Yes, I praise God.
Yes, I received the word fromGod.
Yes, I received the word fromGod, but there was something
that got required for me, andthat was to forgive Talking
about forgiveness.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
Then were you ever mad at God for what he took away
from you when it came to yourmom?
Because it was because youdidn't expect that you were.
You thought she was gonna beokay, was controlled, and then
next you know it's turned frombreast cancer to something in
the brain where you were youever mad, was ever a moment.

(18:14):
You were actually like you knowwhat I am mad.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
I don't know if I was mad at God, but I definitely
questioned him, me and my fatherand I'm working on this.
I've happened and I've had toforgive my father multiple times
in my life.
One of them was when my parentsgot divorced and he caused that
whole situation.
But I remember when my mompassed away, I asked God why did

(18:39):
you take my mother and not myfather?
That sounds terrible, but I, inmy in my soul, I felt like I
would have been better off stillhaving my mom, and the reason I
said this is because at thetime, my dad was in jail Wow,
people know this, bro.
And and in December of 2022, Itook my dad to the court and I

(19:03):
was the only one there.
I has hearing Nobody was there,because my dad has done some
things and he doesn't have, andit saddens me, but I love my
father.
I'll honor him.
I honor him.
The word of God says honor yourfather and your mother so that
you may live long in the landthe Lord, your God, has given
you Exodus 2012,.
And that doesn't mean honor him.

(19:24):
They treat you good.
It doesn't mean honor them ifthey loved you or whatever the
case may be, but I was the onlyone there and it was so surreal
my mom dealing with cancer, meand my dad's hearing about he's
about to go into jail.
He did a plea what is it a pleadeal?
A plea deal.
So he turns himself in and Iwas the only one there and a

(19:49):
public defender there was thereand he gave me his wallet, his
stuff and the hand, cuffed themin front of me and they took him
off and in prison we foundbecause he was already back with
my mom.
It's crazy, it was a crazytestimony but they had gotten
remarried and so they weremarried again after four years.
Wow, but for the sake of thestory, my mom and my dad were

(20:12):
already together and he wasgoing to jail and I had found
all these things that werehurtful and all these things
that I was very discouraged anddisappointed.
So when my mom passes away, Iknow all this information, all
these things that have happened.
So I questioned God why did youtake my mom and not my father?

(20:33):
Yeah, that's a real questionand I was wrong for that.
I repent of that.
God, I'm sorry that Iquestioned you like that and
that I even threw my fatherunder the bus like that.
I felt like the Lord told meyour mother's purpose had been
fulfilled already and, becauseof mercy and grace and the love

(20:53):
I still have for your father,he's still walking this earth
because he still has time to getthings right and to repent.
Sometimes God will give us moretime because we still have a
purpose to fulfill, or we aregiven some extra grace time.
You know when you're late on acredit card and sometimes
they'll give you that graceperiod so you can get your

(21:15):
finances together and pay thatcard.
That's what happened with myfather.
He was given a grace period.
And who am I to question God'slove and mercy and grace?
Blessed are those who aremerciful, because they will be
shown mercy, amen.
So I did question God, but whenhe revealed that to me, I had
to go again and forgive myfather.

(21:36):
Go again and contact him andmeet him up and put everything
to the side.
Life is about constantforgiving others, because we
constantly need to be forgiven.
Come on.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Come on.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
I had some questions for you.
Ask, let's hear it.
But before I get that, I justwanna share a quick then.
This is the last thing I'mgonna be sharing about me,
because we're talking too muchabout me and we have you here.
I'm gonna be very vulnerableand transparent.
Nobody's gonna know this atFamily Worship Center or

(22:11):
anything until it comes out,besides you.
Maybe tomorrow because I'mspeaking.
But when you were talking aboutforgiveness and all that, when I
was five years old, I gotsexually abused and assaulted by
a family member.
After the event, after thathappened, my mind kinda just

(22:34):
blocked it off.
You get traumatized, so yourbody and your mind just blocks
it out.
But when I turned around 10 andI was 10 and I started getting
nightmares and flashbacks andthe imagery of what had happened
, and so it started to tormentme.
I couldn't sleep.
I started to deal with anxietyat 10 years old and so one day I

(22:59):
decided to tell my mom.
I got the courage enough totell my mom.
I remember I went into the roomand I told her mom, can I talk
to you?
And my sister was there and shetold my sister come on.
And I talked to my mom and Itold her what had happened and,
after my mom listened to me,poured my heart out.
She said, ezekiel, we're gonnado something right now.
We're gonna pray and you'regonna forgive them, but don't

(23:23):
forgive them if you don't meanit.
We're not agreeing with whathappened was right, we're not
validating their actions, butthis is to make you free and
take the burden away from you.
But she said, we're gonna prayand you're gonna forgive them,
but only if you mean it.
And I was like, all right.

(23:45):
So we started to pray and thepower of the Holy Ghost is
powerful.
So I started praying and Istarted professing with my mouth
that I forgive them and Godmake me free.
And I don't wanna deal withthis.
I kid you, not, man.
After that prayer that night Islept, amen, and I slept.
Good Praise God.
I took off that burden, theheaviness from my life, from my

(24:06):
soul, and so what I wanna tellpeople is that when you're going
through a tough season, in asituation, forgiveness is the
key.
And I know for you, dom, you'vebeen through a lot yourself.
You know, like we said earlier,people see us on the pulpit,
they see us preaching, but theydon't see the journey that God

(24:27):
is there, you, right now.
They're gonna watch thispodcast, they're gonna see the
camera, the microphone and allthis.
They're not gonna see thestruggle behind setting
everything up.
Oh man, nope, you know what I'msaying, but God has taken you
from a very dark place to whereyou are right now.
Before you were dedicated toFWC and doing what you're doing,

(24:51):
you were a basketball player, aHooper in college and all this,
but you went through a darkseason.
How was it doing what you loveand playing basketball and then
dealing with an injury?

Speaker 2 (25:06):
It was a real interesting time because I feel
like we are in such an identitycrisis.
I found my identity ineverything else but being a
child of God.
So being a basketball playerfirst, before a child of God, it
put me in a position where Ididn't know who I was, because I

(25:27):
only found my identity inbasketball.
Wow, Okay, and it was scarybecause in my mind it was either
basketball or nothing.
Wow, and I feel like there's somany people, bro, that Bible
says that many of the plans ofman, but it's the Lord's will
that prosper.
You have many plans.

(25:48):
I had many plans.
I was like I'm gonna go toschool, go to play basketball.
Not one thing was of Lord.
Let me do your will.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
Today, if you were given the choice to play
professional basketball or topreach around the world, what
would you choose?
Kingdom of God.

Speaker 2 (26:04):
It's funny that you asked I actually got invited to
a basketball camp and fouroverseas.
Really, yeah and dude, it wasweird because I was telling
brother Caleb from familyWesteros and I was telling him
because he was always asking meyou ready for this?
I'm like I didn't feel like Iwas going out there for
basketball anymore.
Really, I feel like I was goingout there for a bigger mission.

(26:25):
And if 10 out of 10 times nowbeing saved, being with Jesus,
and I now realize, bro, likebasketball's get a perish,
kingdom of God will never.
Everything I do will perish.
Any plans I have will perish,that's good, but the kingdom of

(26:50):
God never will.
And now, no, what I thought,what my journey was, no, it's
completely erased and had abetter will.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
What's the difference between knowing about Jesus and
walking with Jesus?

Speaker 2 (27:07):
When you're curious about him, your life, little
things can change right.
But when you're with Jesus,your life is completely
different.
It's not the same.
I knew what I thought I knewabout Jesus.
I knew what he did to othersaround me and I was always so

(27:31):
curious.
I'm like who is this guy man?
Who is this man that everyonetalks about is so perfect?
Who is this man that everyoneworships running around A church
?
Why are they running like that?
I was like I was that guy.
Yeah, I was questioning why iseverybody do that?
For this guy named Jesus?
It wasn't until I invited himin my heart.
It wasn't until he was abrother, he was a friend, he was

(27:54):
my father.
There's so many forms thatJesus is for you and he's your
shepherd.
Hmm, he fulfills our needs, allof them.
And he led me to Green Pastures.
He placed me in still waters.
But then there's times where Ihave conversations with him like
you're, like you're my brother,you're my friend, closer than a

(28:16):
brother.
And having that relationshipwith Jesus Christ man saved me.
It saved me.
Now I can breathe.

Speaker 1 (28:25):
You have a friend, his name's Josh, and it's funny
cause I see you guys sharing theplatform up there together and
I'm not gonna lie, I kind ofstalked your Instagram a little
bit cause we're doing thispodcast and, bro, you guys have
pictures from like 2014.
Embarrassing man.
We're gonna put them on screenso you guys can see them.

(28:45):
But you guys have some pictures.
Man and you guys have had ahistory together and well, he's
a pastor's kid.
I'm sure he would preach to youabout Jesus and all this stuff.
So, like you said, you knewabout Jesus.
You guys played basketball highschool basketball together.
You go to play collegebasketball.

(29:05):
You were in great shape.
You were having the time ofyour life Before you were a
preacher.
You were here drinking.
We'll put that image right nowso they can believe us.
Yeah, and you were.
I mean getting involved inhaving sex outside of marriage
and drinking alcohol and allthese other things.

(29:26):
And then everything stopsbecause you get an injury and
then, when you get injured,they're prescribing you these
medications.
How did it feel not being ableto do something you identify
with, something that youidentify yourself being Like?
How was it?
Taking medications and thenfalling to the addiction?

Speaker 2 (29:48):
Well, I guess we should start off as to how that
even started.
It was in college, when I wasplaying See.
It was back in 2018, end of2018, beginning of 2019.
I always heard the term walkwith the Lord.
Walk with the Lord.
I'm like I would go to churchnot often.

(30:08):
This is before I left to.
I was at Mason Community Collegefirst and I had asked God
because I always heard that walkwith the Lord, walk with the
Lord.
I was getting annoyed of that.
I really was, because I'm like,okay, god, you're obviously
keep bringing the statement up,and there was a time, bro, I was
like you know what, let me askhim?

(30:30):
Yeah, so I asked him.
I said, god, I want to knowwhat it's like to walk with you.
Wow, a month later, tear myknee yeah, I was like okay.
So, god, I asked to walk withyou.
I didn't ask to break me.
Wow.
So there goes my first kneesurgery and I had ripped all my

(30:52):
cartilage.
I had a bone fragment the sizeof a quarter Really Floating in
my knee.
Man, that's intense and I guessI had that for two years.
I didn't know about it.
Two years.
That's my senior year of highschool dude.
I got injured.
I got injured.
I didn't know, though Iremember my knee always swelling
up.
The money was always hurting,always sore.
And then it wasn't until mysophomore year of college.

(31:13):
It just gave out and thatquarter size piece of bone.
It ripped a lot of stuff so Ihad a bone fragment floating in
my knee, ripped all my cartilage, tore my meniscus Okay had my
first knee surgery, mind you, amonth after I had asked God I
want to know what it's like towalk with you.
Wow, very confused, theyprescribed me medication.

(31:36):
It was a pain.
Let me tell you this was a painIs it you or that?
I've never experienced.
It was a really, really weirdpain, the best way I can
describe it physically.
Let's say, you grab a littlerope, like a six, seven inch
rope and put glass on it, andevery time I would step it would
just wiggle.
Oh my God, it was weird.

(31:56):
I was like this really hurts,Like it genuinely hurt.
Bro, I'm like what God?
I asked you let me walk withyou.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
And that's crazy that as soon as you did that prayer,
you asked God, let me walk withyou.
I want to walk with you.
That happens to you, yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
So there I go with my first knee surgery, and it was
a roller coaster of emotionsCause I'm like, okay, god, I
thought my identity was whateveryone knew me, as was oh, dom
, he's a Hooper.
Oh, now Dom's broken, broken, Idon't know him anymore.
Really, it was weird.
I was like everyone only knewme for basketball, everyone only

(32:38):
knew me as the cool kid, thehandsome kid, the good, the
funny dude with the good familyplayed basketball.
It was never.
Oh, he's a man of God.
You do look like handsomeSquidward.
Oh man, that's a big name rightthere.
And we asked there I go with myfirst knee surgery, man.
And they gave me all thesemedications and, like I said, it
was weird because I never spokeabout it to my family, no

(33:00):
friends, it was straight just tome.
And, god, I'm like you knowwhat, god, this really hurts,
dude.
So there I go.
They prescribed me like ageneric type of percocet and I
can't lie, it felt good, it feltreally good.
So instead of just taking one,I'd find myself two at a time,

(33:20):
then three at a time.
You're not supposed to takemore than three yeah.
Dude, and it was scary, you'reon one.
It was really scary because noone knew and I was at my parents
house and no one knew and I hidit because I'm like I just
didn't want no one to see this,because everyone only knew me as
the cool version of Dom.
I always hid my brokenness.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
I wonder how many people don't know, right, how
many people are in that samesituation where they're going
through something and nobodyreally knows, not even the ones
closest to them, not even theirown family, their own parents,
their own loved ones, thesignificant other.
And it's crazy, like, what doyou do when everybody knows you
as a hooper, the handsome, thecool basketball player, the one

(34:04):
with the cool shoes, and thenyou don't have that to offer
anymore?
Right, who are you?
Imagine being a singer and youcan't sing for the rest of your
life?
Right, what happens?
And you lost friends, you lost,or you felt like people just
didn't see you the same.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
So, right, after my first knee surgery, I thought
basketball was done, right.
I went through a crazy rehab.
I had a rehab not onlyphysically, but like mentally,
but I was so depressed because Ionly found my identity in
something that was going toperish.
Wow, and like that's whathappens.
Though, when you think thatyou're doing something so right

(34:40):
and God's like come on, you'remy son.
You think that's all you have.
Oh, that's good, like we comefrom God Almighty.
You think all he had to offerwas for Dominic just to play
basketball.
No, there's nations.
He has to take over Nations.

(35:00):
He's already taking over man.
And so, after my first kneesurgery, I thought I was done.
Random, blessing God.
I don't know how this happened,but I got a call from a little
small school in Iowa bro, I geta text message, a random text
message.
He goes.
Hey, I seen your mix tape onTwitter.
I was like why he goes.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
We got to pull up that, that mix tape.
We're going to have it for youguys.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
He was like I seen your mix tape on Twitter.
I know you're injured right now, but can you come play for us?
I'm like what?
I don't know nothing about thisschool.
I'm like let's go.
I'm not even healed yet.
Dude, like legit, I'm stillgoing through all my rehab stuff
.
My knee's still all ugly andall scarred up, but I was like
all right, let's just do it.
And that's where my second kneesurgery comes from.

(35:43):
And this is where it gets realdark, because now I'm away from
familiar territory.
I've never really seen snowbesides like flag stuff.
And now here I am in the middleof Iowa.
I don't know nothing about Iowa.
Man, dude, like legit, I get tothe airport.
You're the brownest personthere.

(36:05):
Dude, there's like three of usthere.
Literally it was.
Iowa was a blessing, but again,you really have to watch out
what you ask for.
I ask God, let me know whatit's like to walk with you.
So he breaks me and then hetakes me away from my home.

(36:25):
So here I am, in the middle ofIowa, away from familiar
territory, still don't have atrue relationship with Jesus,
away from familiar territory,and God's like, okay, walk.
And this is where I fell realinto a real scary darkness that

(36:47):
even friends, family still don'tknow.
And so after I'm playing inIowa this is before my second
knee surgery I'm playingbasketball, doing amazing, doing
great things for the community,and then, boom, tear my knee
again, do the exact same thing.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
Man, how does that feel?
Like you've done the rehab,you've done the routines, you go
through the process.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
It was less than a year apart.
I'm like God.
This is where-.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
Were you taking prescribed medication, then
already I was done, I was done.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Yes.
So now here I am in the middleof Iowa, no family.
I'm like, barely calling my momand dad every now and then.
I didn't talk to my brother andsister.
I had no pastor to follow.
I had nothing.
All I had was what the worldhad to offer, and this is where
I started substitutingeverything in my life except

(37:38):
Jesus.
And this is where I fell, andthis was something that took me
to humble myself, to realizethat I caused a lot of my pain.
Instead of calling out to theLord, I pushed him to the side
because I know you can do this,but I'll wait for you to do this
.
I'm going to go do this instead.
That's good, and it was like.

(37:59):
I'm like, looking back at itwas frustrating because I
delayed that process.
You prolonged the process.
Yes, I delayed that all becauseI was finding fulfillment and
joy and something that willperish.
What was it that you were doingAt that time?
It was party partying, partying, drinking, sex, pornography.
All this because I asked God,show me how to walk with you If

(38:25):
God takes something away fromyou that you love.
It really shows who you are.
It really shows, it exposes you.
It exposes you and you feelnaked before God.
You're like.
Wait a minute.
I asked for a blessing, God'slike.
I did bless you because I tookaway the ability for you to walk

(38:45):
, because you were walking onthe wide and broad gate that
would lead to destruction.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
Do you think it was God's plan for you to fall into
those things, though, likedrinking and smoking and doing
all kinds of stuff?
Or was it because, instead ofyou seeking the Lord, when he
did subtract what you most lovefrom your life, instead of you
finding fulfillment in him andhealing in him, whether it's

(39:16):
physical or emotional, he wentthe opposite?

Speaker 2 (39:19):
route, see, and that's where I question that
still.
But I find peace in knowingthat I went through that now to
help young men that arestruggling with that, because I
can't relate to people whohaven't gone through things the
way I have.

(39:39):
I can preach peace, I canpreach love, but I can relate to
you more if you struggle withpornography, because, hey, I've
been there.
I can relate to you if youbattle with lust, hey, I've been
there.
And this is where I called outto Jesus Christ the name above
every other name, that only himthrough there's healing.
And this is where the truehealing started to come into

(40:04):
place.
Because now, after my secondknee surgery, this is where I
got really scary, suicidalthoughts started to come into
play.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Because I think there's a picture of you on
media day.
Oh man, you guys are supposedto take pictures and you had a
whole bunch of scratches on yourforearm, your left forearm.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
I believe that's where it was really scary for me
, because, again, this is whereGod wanted to expose me.
Yeah, because I started to dothings, bro, where I'm like this
isn't you.
Yeah, I struggled with selfharm and to this day I still
can't believe it, because I'mlike Dom, that's not you, that's

(40:46):
not like what are you doing.
There'd be days, bro, inpractices, where no one knew
everyone to see me.
Everyone knew Dom.
Oh hey, dom, dom's a party bro.
He dropped 30 points in thegame and still party the next
day, and everyone saw me thatway, right?
But no one saw me when I gotinto my room.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
After the lights were turned off.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
After all, all the fans are cheering your name,
after all the announcementsright, I'm human.
I get into my room and I wasstruggling so much with
depression.
I had to.
I saw a therapist twice a weekbut no one knew.
My coach knew and it wasbecause after one day, bro,
there was a day I struggled withself harm and I was cutting

(41:31):
myself.
It got to that point.
It was weird, because I'm likebattling these things.
Dude, where I'm sitting there,why am I bleeding on my hand?
I would cry, like I feel like Iwas like outside of my body,
looking at my younger self, likedude, what are you doing?
And all because I was feelingpain.

(41:53):
Yeah, instead of running to thePrince of Peace, I ran to the
world to try to feel somethingin me that was never going to
fill me.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
So what was the reasoning behind hurting
yourself?
Was it because I'm trying tounderstand?
I mean, obviously I felt painand gone through a lot of things
, but I've never hurt myself.
Why, what's the reasoningbehind it?
Do you hurt yourself for that,to distract you of the pain?
Or what's the reasoning?

Speaker 2 (42:21):
behind it.
It was a masking, it wassomething that I could feel
instead of ending it, and it'sserious.
It's real serious in that pointbecause you're like, there was
a time, bro, I was sitting in myroom, man, and I was like, if I
just take this whole bottle ofprescription pills right now, so
what would really happen?

(42:43):
Like the devil can't kill you,but he can definitely play with
your mind, and my mind was sogone, bro, it was scary.
So we had I didn't know this,but we had media day.
Yeah, a day after I had justcut myself.
Okay, so I'll be real, real,honest for those who are
watching, I had cut myself inbetween my thighs and on my

(43:06):
forearms and my hands, and onlytwo of my roommates really knew
about it.
And there was a day, bro, whereI had just cut myself, dude,
and we had media day the nextday and I totally forgot about
it.
So my coach was like all right,guys, make sure you get your
jersey on wearing blue, no longsleeves.

(43:28):
You guys know the drill.
All this bother, mike, here wego.
Next day comes, media day comes, bro, and I come out the room,
go to the locker room, put allmy jersey, put my long sleeve on
because my whole arm bro wascut up.
That's great and it was weirdbecause that day it was really
bad.
It was like I cut myself reallybad, Like your hand is.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
your arm is still burning from.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Yeah, no, legit.
And I was like oh no, dude,here we go.
So there I am trying to be allslick, putting a whole long
sleeve on right Coach looks atme, he goes, I got a long sleeve
on.
I'm like was it like those dryfit, yeah, and it was like
matching my uniform, so Ithought it would be cool.
He goes, you know that, take itoff All the guys.

(44:12):
Like Dom, come on.
You never wear a long sleeve.
I'm like, bro, I want to wear along sleeve today, wasn't
fooling anybody.
And this is where God, I wished.
I knew that God was with me thewhole time, even though he was
beautiful.
I just didn't know.
Yeah, I didn't know.
In that moment, bro, I was soembarrassing.

(44:33):
There I go in my heart, I'm inthere, like change right here.
I'm like, no, let me go to thelocker.
They're like, no, just change,right here.
Sometimes God wants to exposeyou, just to show you who you
are, because you need him.
That's good, you need him, buthe wants and desires you.
So there I go, take off myshirt, bro, take off my sleeve,

(44:58):
dude, in front of everybody,everybody, dude, everyone.
Because, mind you, I wasstarting point guard, but I was
well known in the town.
I was, I was, I was bawling outdude, and I was.
I wasn't just a bench player, Iwas a starter.
Everyone looks at me, dude.
They see it.
Their eyes straight go down tomy arm.
They're like bro, you good, Ilied.

(45:21):
I was like, yeah, bro, I jumpedthe fence.
There was a fight and I jumpedthe fence at the bar.
Dude, they're like Dom, theydidn't believe you.
No, they didn't, they're justholding anybody.
And that's where my life reallychanged.
I cried, I cried out to God.
Oh, my God, I know.
I said I wanted to walk withyou.
I didn't know it's going to belike this.

(45:42):
And I remember there was a day,dude, it was, it was a Thursday
.
I remember it was so clear,just like two days a day no they
had legit.
Yeah, it was a Thursday, dude,we had just got out of practice
real late Good practice too.
I get back to my room, bro, andI remember sitting in my room

(46:06):
and something changed.
I'm sitting on the floor, Ihave this song build my life on
yeah, and it was funny becausethat's the exact song that was
cutting myself to.
Really, yeah, it was weirdbecause I had a teammate named
Lincoln Rock.
God bless that man.
He was a man of God, bro.
Yeah, and he would.
He would just love me.

(46:28):
He loved me and he would alwaystell me, bro, just put worship
music on, pray, come on, listen,you can do it.
He believed in me.
Yeah, he saw something in methat I didn't see myself.
That's how it would besometimes, and you know what I
love about what God does is thatwhen you cry out to God, he'll
anoint your friend.
When you cry out to God, he'llanoint someone around you to

(46:48):
deliver, and Lincoln was that.
For me, it was weird.
So there I am in my room, dude,crying, depressed, lonely, just
done for, done for dude.
I'm sitting in my room, I havebuilt my life on.
Here I go again with thesethoughts, bro.
Again, no one knows what I didin this room and I'm crying out

(47:10):
to God, god, please, that's allI kept saying, please, didn't
know what to say.
Please.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Yeah, it was desperation.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
And man, it's something about when God's
children call onto their father,when a son calls to his father,
bro, and he came into the room.
I have my hands, bro, just onmy face.

(47:43):
Dude, I was crying and all Ifelt in the room was love.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
You can feel it, I can feel love, and that was one
of the first times you ever feltlove.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
That was the first encounter I had with true love.
That's good.
That was the first encounter Ireally had with my father, who
loved me, who seen the scars,yeah.
Who seen me acting lust, whoseen me drunk and like Adam and

(48:18):
Eve, in the garden, right whenthey got exposed and they were
naked and they were hidingbehind the bushes, right and God
, I was like Adam, where are you?
He asked him.
Come on.
He knew where he was.
Why would he ask him where areyou?
It's because he was somewherewhere he wasn't supposed to be.
That's good.

(48:40):
A lot of times you'll catchyourself.
You know that you are somewherewhere you're not supposed to be
, but are you humble enough toask God, god, show me where you
want me to be?
It was that day I surrenderedmy life.
I battled with things afterthat, but I was walking

(49:03):
different.
You weren't walking by yourselfin your own strength.
I was not walking in my ownidentity.
I had to die to myself.
I had to repent True, trulyrepent, truly repent, because
there's a difference.
When you say God, forgive me,lord, that just means he's your

(49:24):
Savior, he's not your Lord.
It's so easy to say, yeah,jesus is my Savior, but is he
your Lord.
So many people forget thatthese days, when you surrender
your life, it doesn't say justto your Savior Jesus.
No, it says you're Lord andSavior, savior's the easy part.
Yeah, that's for everybody,lord, as you're under new
jurisdiction.

(49:45):
Why?
Because now you're free.
You're following something, butyou're free.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
What do you tell those people?
That they feel guilt, they feelashamed, but yet they can't
stop doing what they're doing,whether it's pornography,
whether it's smoking weed,whether it's drinking to numb
the pain or hurting themselvesor even being suicidal.
What can you tell them?

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Those who drink from my well shall never thirst again
.
If you are constantly doingwhat you're stuck in and you're
still doing it, maybe that's asign that you're drinking for
something and you're stillthirsty for it.
But Jesus says it those whodrink from my well will never

(50:38):
thirst again.
Praise God If you werecontinually stuck in that one
sin that only you and God knowabout, because there's a lot of
us that only you know yourselfbetter than anyone else ever
will, Not even your wife, yourhusband, your best friend, your
mom, your pastor.
You can fool whoever you want,but you will not fool the maker

(51:02):
of the heavens and earth, andyou're great at masking it.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
You're great at fooling everybody else, but we
know that we can't fool God.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
Can't.
And if you find yourself stuck,if you're listening to this and
you find yourself stuck inpornography, in lust, maybe even
that's something that you'restuck from what you were little,
that's something that happenedto you and you have not told
anybody about it because youdon't have the courage to ask,

(51:29):
that's okay.
That's okay.
To not be courageous just yetbecause you're scared, that's
okay.
But just remember Jesus setsyou free, that's right.

Speaker 1 (51:47):
And I want to say, for those people that are
thinking about suicide, let mejust tell you that the solution
is not death, the solution islife.
And who is life?
This answered in John 14, six.
I am the way, the truth and thelife.
The answer to your problem, theanswer to your situation, to

(52:10):
how you feel, is never going tobe death.
We don't end things with death,we start things with life, and
we know that when we leave thisearth, we're still going to be
before a great, mighty God onhis throne, and I just want to
tell you that Jesus is the onethat can fill you up.
He is life.

(52:31):
So if you're feeling some typeof way, let me just tell you
that God can help you getthrough it.
God can open the Red Sea, butit's up to you to walk through
it and he can guide you throughit.
And as he opened the Red Seaand he didn't just open it, he
said he dried the ground on itand they walked on.

(52:52):
So God will make a great way,god will open the Red Sea, but
we have to take the step.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
And imagine the waves that they saw walking through
it.
Not only were they walking ondry ground now, but imagine
looking to your left, you see awave and you see.
You look to the right, you seethe other wave.
That's true, that's scary.
Yeah, if you're looking at it,if you're only looking at what's
holding on to you, you'll findwhat you're looking for.

(53:23):
Trust me, you will.
Amen, I'm in the bad.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
Yeah, I've seen it.
I've seen it and you know I sawyou sent me some notes and I
did see that you lost somebody.
Can you elaborate on that?

Speaker 2 (53:37):
So the man that rehabbed me back to put me on my
feet, his name was JamesJohnson.
He was James Johnson.
Yes, team USA's wrestling coachman.
He was so well known around theworld.
Wow, like anyone, anyone, youmeet this man and you're like he
was like six, six, about two orfive, 50.
Man's hands are just ginormous.

(53:59):
He was.
He was a champ man.
He three gold medals back toback to back and he, he would
love you like Christ and it wasweird.
So after these surgeries I had,after the third knee surgery,
it was funny because I wasjoyful with that one, because I

(54:19):
was walking differently.
I was walking with the Lord atthat time.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
The third one was that, after you had done that
prayer, after that encounter ofyou in that room listening to
that worship song, speaking intongues, yep, yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
It was after.
After the second one, after Isurrendered my life, I got
injured again.
I told my meniscus again, yeah,and that was a third time.
But that one was different.
I rejoiced with that onebecause I understood that the
devil had no power and thesepain was not from the devil,
yeah, and I asked God to get myattention and he did.

(54:54):
That's how he did it for me.
Now, after my third kneesurgery, I thought I was in the
clear.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
You're like I'm good, I've gone through the season.
Yes, I've gone stranger.

Speaker 2 (55:07):
I was mad at you, lord, but now you're my best
friend, now you're my Lord andSavior.
Like now, let's get back to it.
I get back to college, myjunior year in Iowa, and that
whole three-year span of me notbeing able to walk, going
through surgeries, going torehab, it was Johnson and he
would speak a word of faith tome every time we would train,
every time we would rehab, andhe was just so full of joy, bro,

(55:29):
and he got me back on my feet.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
Because they had told you that you weren't going to
be able to walk again or playagain.

Speaker 2 (55:35):
That was scary.
So after my second knee surgery, I had gotten the word and you
can tell it's my mom.
I cried like a baby man.
I called my mom right away.
The doctor looked at my knee.
My knee was not accepting thenew piece.
I have a cadaver's piece in myknee, do you?
Yeah, so it's not even my knee,bro.

(55:57):
So what they did was they carvedout a bigger piece and put a
cadaver's piece in.
But what was happening?
I had no blood flow to my kneeand my knee was getting infected
.
Really, I could not.
My bone wouldn't fuse together.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
Man, how frustrating is that.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
It was very frustrating.
I was really mad.
I can't even lie Like I was mad, imagine.
But you know what was.
This is all glory to God Aftermy third knee surgery, because I
had gotten that news after thesecond knee surgery is that, hey
Dom, if your bone doesn't healtogether, bro, you're not
playing basketball.

(56:32):
I was like what do you mean?
I'm not playing basketball.
They're like look, and theyshow me my x-ray.
And sure enough, it wasn'tgoing together.
They said you're done.
Like you can't keep doing that.
And he looked at me and he goesdo you want to have kids one
day?
Like of course he has to dothat.
No, legit.
And he was like hey, the doctor, do you want to have kids one
day?
I'm like of course he goes.

(56:53):
Do you want to play with them?
I'm like yeah, he goes.
Then it's best you stop playingnow so you can be able to run
with them when you're 30.
Wow, I was like whoa, hold on,dude.
I got offended.
Yeah, I was like you can't tellme that, bro.
Like come on Now.
My pride and ego got in the way.
Yeah, yeah, call my mom, callme if something I love, yes.
They just told me I'm done.

(57:15):
I didn't listen, and neitherdid my coach Johnson.
He goes.
Who do you?
Whose report you're going tobelieve?
He was from Kentucky.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
He had a crazy crazy accent.
He was real with, he was likewhose report you're going to
believe.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
Son, who's not sugar coating anything?
He would.
Always his term was piece ofcake.
He's like it's a piece of cake.
Here by am with my leg likethis it's a piece of cake.
I'm like bro, what so?
He had so much faith in me andhe trained me, he pushed me, and
then September of 2019 comes.
I'm shooting with my friend, myroommate Gary, in the gym.

(57:51):
I get a call from my mom.
Mind you, I had just I talkedto Johnson.
All the time we text call.
I get a random call from my momon a Saturday in the gym, dude,
and she goes hey, where are youat?
I'm like I'm shooting.
What's up?
It's Saturday morning.
Yeah, I was working out yeah, Iwas working on the gym and then

(58:14):
I get a call from my mom.
She goes, hey, like what areyou doing?
Though I'm like I'm at the gym,mom.
She goes Johnson died.
No way, I'm like, just likethat.
Like what do you mean, bro?
So he had a.
He had health issues.
He was in another country, hehad came back and he had died
really suddenly of I believe itwas a heart attack and also a

(58:36):
hernia that busted and it gotreally ugly.
They found it in his room.
I was like, all right, god.
Now I have questions.
Yeah, why did you take him?
Why him?
Why?
Not only was it you put methrough, I get it, you broke me,
I get it.
You got my attention, I'm yours, I get it.

(58:59):
But you just took the personthat had so much faith in me.
Why and here comes the darknessagain and I'm like what is
going on, dude, and it was scary, because he was someone I could
rely on, and God's like he's myson too, though His mission was

(59:22):
completed.
Yeah, like my mom.
Yeah, it was weird.
I'm like in my mind always,again, we have ways, yeah, but
God's ways are not always.
His thoughts are not ourthoughts, and his mission was
done but it was still goingthrough.
Every athlete he taught, everyathlete he trained.
It multiplied everyone.

(59:43):
I talked to some athletes stilltoday that are trained by him
and we all have like that samelike bond or DNA.
Yeah, yeah, why?
Because of him?
Yeah, and it was weird becauseI'm like, okay, now going
through a death, bro.
I didn't know how to react, Idon't know how to accept it.
The way I coached with that wasworking out.

(01:00:06):
Yeah Was.
Now I'm here drinking morebecause, let's be real, there is
one guaranteed thing in thislife we're all going to die.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
That's right, and I'm not saying that to scare
anybody but we're all going todie and that just shows you like
we know the day we were born,but we don't know our expiration
date.
Right, we're all promised toeverybody the same way it's
promised to you, so that waythat tells us like we have a
purpose to fulfill and we can bewasting time.

(01:00:38):
Time is precious.
Why do you think criminals paywith their time?
Why do you think you get paidfor your time?
Yeah, you know money comes in,goes, but when time is passed
you can't get it back, cannot?

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
get it back, and that's where having eyes like a
dove really comes into play,because I studied doves, bro.
It's weird, but I did, I did, Istudied it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
Man, your whole Google, your whole Google.
History is over here.
A bunch of doves.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
YouTube and everything.
It was weird.
But having eyes like a dove.
Yeah, Doves always travel inParis, Do they?
And they always.
They're always producing,meaning they're mating.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
They're always giving birth.
They like us Mexicans.
Come on now.
They really listen to the wordof God when.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
I say going ahead and multiply, bro man, you're
telling me all the marriedcouples out there, good luck.
Look, just went to Miami.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
I don't know man Right now.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
I've been in Miami for nine months from now, oh no,
Don't be surprised, but what Ilove about this about the doves,
bro is that they're alwaysmating.
24 seven are constantly mating.
When you were that connected toGod, you always produced new
life in the middle of any season.
That's good and that actuallyreminds me.
That's something that I want toask you.

(01:01:48):
I know we talked about thepassing of your mom, but what
about the blessing that cameinto your life?
I don't know if the audienceknows that yet.
Do you want to talk about that?

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
Yeah, man, my baby had a.
I love her man.
It's so crazy because shereminds me of my mom so much,
really, like I look at her andwhen my baby stares at me, she
can look into my soul, like Ifeel it.
And honestly, for my son isfive years old, jeremiah, and
you mentioned him a little bit.

(01:02:19):
He loves music, he's a drummer.
He likes guitar.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
That kid is anointed man, I can't wait to get all
this Videos of him on stage man.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
If you visit our church, you will see him on
stage worshiping God, playinghis guitar.
Yes, you will.
So he's going for Caleb's job.
He's going to take the drum set.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
He's coming for your job.

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
Hey, you can take my today if you can.
There it is.
But so my son is five years oldand we didn't take any
precautions for five years, man.
So whatever had to happen hadto happen.
So there's a period in my lifewhere I'm like, god, is this, it
Like in my only have one son,if it is cool.
But I mean, I desire morechildren.

(01:02:59):
We went to this event and therewas a prophet that was at this
event.
He calls me out and he startsprophesying over my life and he
has the gift of wisdom.
So he starts saying things thatare true, that he doesn't know
about.
He never met me before.
Yeah, he's from Argentina, comeon, I don't even go to the
church where he's at, so nobodycould have told him.
And he starts telling me allthese things.

(01:03:20):
But one of the things that hesaid to me and my wife because
he called was your wife.
Like, bring your wife.
So we started praying and hesays that God is going to open
some doors.
And he told me the month when Iwas going to find out.
And he said my daughter is onhis way.
And what is crazy about thestory, too, is that he had
mentioned February, and inFebruary was when my mom's

(01:03:42):
health was depleting.
He had given us this word inJuly of 2022 and it wasn't until
February of 2023 when it'shappening.
But that's when I'm also headedto Hermosillo, sonora, to go
see my mom and my wife.
On the way there, I was drivingto Hermosillo in the middle of
the night, bro, it was supersketchy.

(01:04:02):
It was kind of bro.
I went through this route whereI'm like man, I hope no Sicario
cartel person pops out andstops me.
I'm in my truck, you know whatI'm saying.
But I was on a mission to gosee my mom and on the way there,
my wife calls me and she's likehey, are you driving?
I'm like, yeah, she's like youprobably want to pull over.
I'm like what happened?
And she tells me I'm pregnant.

(01:04:24):
Like she tells me the news, andI'm like ecstatic, I'm excited,
I'm happy, I'm like I couldn'tbelieve it and I already knew
what it was.
Nobody had to tell me if it wasa boy or a girl.
I didn't even have to do thetests that the doctor does.
I already knew that it wasgoing to be a girl because I had
a prophesied and it happenedexactly how God said it would
happen.
So I go to Mexico and you knowmy mom's in agony, she's in pain

(01:04:49):
, but one of the last things Iwas able to tell her before she
totally lost it was that my wifehad gotten pregnant and my mom
was so happy, praise God.
And yeah, there's moments whereI'm like man, my mom would have
loved you.
I tell my baby girl like my momwould have loved to held you
and all this.
But it's so interesting how Godtakes something but he never
leaves us empty handed.

(01:05:10):
Come on, you know he tooksomething I love, but he gave me
something that I very value.
It's changing me as a man, ischanging my perspective.
It's so.
She's so different from my son.
My son would sleep through thenight and his baby girl is
waking up every two hours.
It's insane.
My son is very independent.
He doesn't even like to be held, he likes to play and do his

(01:05:32):
own thing.
My daughter wants to be heldand and you know she hardly
smiles with anybody that shedoesn't know.
She's only five months.
She looks at me, she justsmiles.
And then I feel like God sayshere, right in the perfect
moment, in the, in God's perfecttiming, he gives me this gift,
this bundle of joy Because, Imean, he got to bless me with

(01:05:55):
the daughter two years ago,three years ago, yeah, but he
did it right at the time wherehe knew it was going to be an
instrumental blessing to my life.

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
I had someone tell me this is in church and I forgot
what his name was.
But he looked at me at an altar, didn't pray for me.
He looked at me he's a son,open your eyes.
He said God is never late, he'sright on time.
Yeah, at first I'm like bro,what, and that kind of relates

(01:06:25):
to that.
It's weird because God's timingis everything.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
Bro, god's timing is everything.
Let me tell you I know my wifesince we were four years old.
I put a picture.
Praise God About it.
Four years old, bro, must benice.
My mother-in-law was our Sundayschool teacher.
Oh, that's sick.
When we're 11, 12 years old, mywife leaves the church that we
grew up in.
She goes to help her aunt andher uncle open up a ministry.

(01:06:52):
So I didn't see my wife fromage 12 to 17.
Bro, she walks in at 17, agrown, anointed woman of God,
and I was like, oh my God.
I was like, ooh, who's thathe's not lying.

Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
He's not lying.
I promise this man.

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
But I was like man, I was intrigued, I was mesmerized
.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
Yeah.
Was he an 19 brother.
He was an 19.

Speaker 1 (01:07:21):
But let me tell you that 17-year-old Ezekiel,
because we're the same age, isnot the 28-year-old you see
before your eyes right now.
I was a player.
Don't hate the player, hit thegame, come on.
No, I was.
I was just.
I was messing around with thehearts of the church girls.

(01:07:42):
I was just trying to have fun.
I was not taking nobody serious.
I was young.
I was not a husband material.
So thank God that we didn't goout at that time, because we
would have gotten into arelationship, because I saw her,
she saw me.
I knew, I knew what's up.
No, but I.

(01:08:03):
I thank God because it wasn'tGod's timing.
Yet, right, we didn't go out.
She went and got in anotherrelationship.
It wasn't God's favor, itwasn't favored by God.
Hallelujah, praise the Lord,come on.
He wasn't meant to be.
You know, she had to come backto, to the arms of her, of her,

(01:08:24):
of her man, but it was till 21.
We're 20, 20, 21.
We started going out in 2017 no,sorry, 2016.
We we started dating September26.
We did it a whole year and thenwe got married on December 16th
my mom's birthday, 2017.

(01:08:44):
Wow, but it was God's timing,because God knew when it was our
time to get together and who wehad to be with.
You feel me.
And then, and so it's all inGod's timing.
He, he works everything perfect.
Because if we would have rushedit, if we would have dated when
we're 17, you know it wouldhave gone down the wrong way,

(01:09:07):
the wrong route.
And so sometimes it is theright person, but is it the
right time?
Hmm, you feel me to word, andmaybe it is the right.
It is the blessing that Godwants for you, it is the job it
is.
He has plans to prosper you,not to harm you, but maybe
you're not able to handle itjust yet.

(01:09:28):
I can't give my son a brand newtruck.
Why not?
He's barely three years old.
I mean five years old.
Yeah, time flies, he's fiveyears old.
He's not gonna handle it Right,sometimes people can't handle
blessings, they can't handle anincrease in their finances,
because God knows at the momentthat their pockets get full.
Come on, their faith gets empty.

(01:09:49):
Speaking they, they stoprelying on God.
They, they put their trust ontheir dollar bills and they put
on the word of God, the Bible,the holy word of Jesus Christ.
Come on, and sometimes moneydoesn't change nobody.
I believe that money amplifieswho you really are.
Come on, it's true, you knowvery and money, money is not
evil, but it's the love of moneythat's the root of all evil.

(01:10:13):
And I know that your time willcome.
Your blessing is on its way,your blessings on its way.
The time, only God knows.
Because there's a process toeverything, even David.
He got anointed at age 15.
Around there they say theeuligence, but the word of God
tells us that he didn't becomekeen until he was 30 years old.
So there was a 15 year process,but he waited 15 years.

(01:10:34):
And we can't even wait a couplemonths.
No, you know, I'm saying sogood.
So I time is everything.
I'd rather wait on God's timingand be ready for it than rush
it and everything collapse on me.
I mean, what do I gain?
To gain the whole world, butlose my soul.
Come on, and before you Getmarried, before, look, let me

(01:10:54):
tell you, is the ring doesn'tmake anybody a husband or a wife
.
Speak on this.
You already a husband and youalready a wife.
Before the ring says he whofinds a wife finds a good thing.
Yes, sir and then say, say hewho finds somebody that later on
he gets proposed to it and putsa ring, finds a good thing?
No, you, you're already ahusband and you're already a

(01:11:15):
wife before the ring.
So you got to ask yourself Iwant to get married, I Want, I
want to have children, but am Ithe right one?
Because it's you're praying fora woman of God.
But that woman of God ispraying for a man of God, right?
Are you that man of God, mm-hmm, are?

Speaker 2 (01:11:34):
you preaching.
You know I'm saying you'repreaching today.
I love, I love what you said,though You're, you're like it's
it's not God's time yet.
I feel like in the youngeradults, man, we, we're, we're
waiting for the rain to come,yeah, we're waiting for these
blessings to come, and a lot ofthe times, like your blessing,
will come at that God's time.

(01:11:54):
Right, but what that has a lotto do with I would.
I've noticed, and especially inlike my life and like my close
friends, I guess, if you do notlike the chapter of your book
right now, maybe you don't knowwho your author is, mmm, Because
those who know those those whothose who know who is writing
their story trust that there'sgonna be some chapters in your

(01:12:18):
life that do not make sense.

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
And how are you wanting to get to the next
chapter if you haven't closedthe previous one yet, mmm?
in order for God to open the newdoors, you must close the old
ones and accept it, and acceptit.
People have opened doors tobitterness, to anger, to
depression, to anxiety, to lust.

(01:12:42):
They have all these doors thatare open, but that are not open
necessarily from God.
Yes, and God has better thingsfor you.
He wants to pour in to yourvessel, but before he can pour
into your vessel, he mustcleanse you out, and he's not
gonna cleanse you out if you'renot willing to pour out of your

(01:13:02):
flesh, of what's inside of you,of your bitterness.
God wants to open the door ofProsperity, of love, of joy, of
greater and mightier things, butyou must learn to and you must
be willing to close the oldDoors.
Amen, because this is a season,this is a year of open doors,
but in God gonna open no door ifyou're not willing to close the

(01:13:25):
old ones.
Imagine that.

Speaker 2 (01:13:27):
Imagine that we have a door open, but yeah, we're
still trying to unlock that, thedoor that's God locked for us.

Speaker 1 (01:13:32):
Yeah, it's done.
Let me tell you the door thatGod has opened for you.
You ain't even have to knock onit, it will be open, and then
and if you find yourselfknocking on the door and it
hasn't opened yet is not fromGod.
I'm in.
You're trying to force thatshot.
I'm in.
Isn't it beautiful when yourshot is on Atomatic, and you're
hot and you have the rhythm.
You are, though, you have thefavor of God upon your life.

(01:13:54):
It feels like you can't miss ashot.
It feels like the basket islike 20 feet, it is throwing up
in the blessings and it goes inyour step curry with the shot.
But what happens when you'reforcing it?

Speaker 2 (01:14:04):
Hmm, it looks unnatural, it doesn't look easy
and those around you watchinglike what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (01:14:10):
That's the ball man.
There's gonna be seasons whereyou have to pass the ball and
it's not your season to take theshot.
That's a word.
There's gonna be a season whereyou might find yourself on the
bench, like Tom Brady.
But if you seek preparation andnot opportunity, when the time
is near and when the time comes,you'll be ready.
And sometimes people do notseek preparation, they're only

(01:14:33):
seeking opportunity, man, andtherefore they are scavengers of
the word and not students ofthe word.
Amen, because when you're astudent, you're ready in and out
of season.
Come on, you feel me?
Come on, and when you're just ascavenger, when your number is
called, you're like okay, whatam I gonna preach about?
What verses do I use?
Mm-hmm, and you're preaching tothe ooze and the odds and not
to the need.
Come on, because when you're intune with the spirit, when

(01:14:55):
you're in God's frequency, man,you will know what to preach
about when your number is called.

Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
I read a book.
That's so powerful man.
I read a book, dude, and it wasstraight up.
It said if you want, if you'relooking to be used by God more
than you want to be with God,you're in it for the wrong thing
.
Man, you should be with God somuch that you're being used
because of how close you're withhim.
Yeah, there's a lot of youngadults today.
They want to be, they lovebeing used by God.

(01:15:22):
Yeah, but they don't love beingwith them.
Mmm, god calls you to be withthem first.
Yeah, I prepare a seat for youin the presence of your enemies.
You don't deserve the crumbsthat fall off the table.
Yeah, but yet he allows us tosit down at his table that he
prepared, and that was man.

(01:15:43):
You just started preaching.
Go, man, you know what?

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
God knows who to use and who to bless, because God
does not see the appearance.
He looks at the heart man.

Speaker 2 (01:15:54):
Answer answer.

Speaker 1 (01:15:56):
Sorry for this interruption.
God did not see the Appearance.
He does not see what man sees.
He sees the heart man and David.
Before he killed Goliath, hehad killed the lion and a bear.
Before David was anointed keen,he had been taking care of
God's sheep, his father's sheep,and something that John taught
me was when he got anointed keen, he still went back and do hits

(01:16:18):
the will of his father.
He didn't say brothers, I'm thenew sheriff in town, right, I'm
the king, I'm the man of thishouse.
Bow down and respect me.
And sometimes God knows he can'tput you on a pulpit because the
moment you grab the microphone,you're gonna act like you have
it all and look at me and lookhow God uses me.

(01:16:40):
Come on, once you grab themicrophone, your life is now
under a microscope.
Yep, physically and spiritually, can you take the heat?
Mm-hmm.
God knows how much you can bear.
He's not gonna put Three, fortyfives on each side.
No, knowing that, you couldbarely bench at 125.
What will happen?
That's me.
You know what happened.
You know you're gonna hurtyourself.

(01:17:02):
You could even kill yourselfspiritually, mm-hmm.
Sometimes people see the pulpitlike if it's, if it's
lightweight, like if it's ifit's not a heavy burden, right?
Oh, the preachers, the pastors?
They have a burden for thehouse, so God puts that weight
on them because he knows thatthey are worthy of it and they

(01:17:22):
can handle it.
The weight never gets lighter,amen.
You only get stronger, amen.
So maybe God hasn't put thatweight on you because you're
still too weak spiritually andyou need to get stronger.
And that only happens inprivate.
If you seek the Lord in private, you're salt.
You in the public, come on, andhe who humbles himself the Lord
with exalt Amen, and those whoexalt themselves.

Speaker 2 (01:17:44):
God will humble.

Speaker 1 (01:17:45):
It's like knowing your role in the kingdom,
knowing your will, acceptingyour will bro, that I like how
you say that, because I, when Iwas praying to God about what
church to go to, because I wasseeking to have a pastor, I was
seeking to be rooted.
Yeah, I had a parade, I hadvisited a couple churches and I

(01:18:05):
remember, you know, I was sayingto myself and and Reflecting,
and and there was a moment whereI was like you know what, I'd
rather be a Small fish and a bigpond.
Then a big fish, come on in asmaller pond.
I want to be part of something.
Big, god, even though I have todecrease so that you can

(01:18:27):
increase.
I remember, and I was alsopraying to God for confirmation
and when he told me and I don'tsay God told me a lot, because I
don't like to use that in vain,I feel like people overly use
it and I'm very careful about itbut I feel like God told me do
you want a platform or do youwant my presence?
Come on.
So when that was said to me, Iknew exactly what church and

(01:18:50):
what pastor was gonna be over mylife I'm on and I knew that
there was gonna be sacrificeswith it.
It wasn't, no, it wasn't gonnabe no longer easy to doing what
the heck he wants to do,preaching whenever.
How many times you know?
I'm saying I was now beingmolded and learning to submit to
the call of God over my life.

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
If the world was blind, if no one can physically
see you with their physical eyes, what would your calling look
like?
I had someone asked me that.
Well, like if everyone aroundyou was blind, who are you in
ministry?
Wow, because everyone lovesjust.
They just want the platform.
Why?
Because it they see and theywant that.

(01:19:33):
You don't know what comes withthat.
That's not your will.
Yeah, what if your will is tosimply be the best door holder
at church?

Speaker 1 (01:19:41):
imagine that, and it's nothing to to be little,
because I've heard testimoniesof people that worked up parking
lots and and God used them toevangelize to somebody and that
person ended ends up becomingone of the biggest evangelists
and pastors.
You know, there's a Samson.
His mother was praying shecouldn't bear children and the

(01:20:05):
angel of the Lord told her shewas gonna bear children, but
gave her requirements.
Right, she's given a promisewith a purpose, but that purpose
and that plan and that and thatpromise had requirements.
You know, she was given apromise that she was gonna bear
children with the purpose ofBeginning to liberate the people

(01:20:26):
of God from the PhilistinesCome on, and the requirements
were that she couldn't, you know, drink alcohol while she was
pregnant and For hisrequirements, he was a Nazareth,
so he couldn't cut his hair.
He was set apart from God.
And let me just tell somebodyyour purpose and your calling
comes with the requirement youhave to honor God, you have to
be holy, for I am holy, but yourcalling Comes with a purpose

(01:20:51):
and your purpose is not for youas for them.

Speaker 2 (01:20:55):
That's so good.

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
God didn't give Samson supernatural strength so
that he can boast and flex onInstagram.
He gave him supernaturalstrength so that he can begin
Liberating the people of Israelfrom the hands of the
Philistines.
It wasn't for his glory, itwasn't for him to boast, it was
for them, not him.

(01:21:16):
Man, it's for us, not me.
You feel me.
That's so good.
So once you understand thatyour calling is not about you,
and how great you can preach andhow amazing this podcast is,
and you know this, when youunderstand, like man Dom this,
make this podcast happen.
I feel like it's the moment,it's time because someone is to

(01:21:36):
hear this man.
Someone needs to be blessed bythis, someone easy.
I disciple P.
I disciple people like VictorBecause I've been discipled
right.
I mentor others because I'vebeen mentored right.
I give because I've beenblessed, and, and, and I, and I
hope with all my heart that youknow this.
This, this podcast, brings youcloser to Jesus.

(01:21:57):
Yes, that the whole reason weshared our testimony and our
story and all of the things thatwe shared today Was for the
sole purpose of you Listening tothis and God making you free.
Amen.
I, I, if you're listening andyou're hearing this on Spotify,
apple Podcasts or whatever onYouTube, let me tell you there

(01:22:18):
where you're at.
God can make you free.
I believe that there'sdeliverance that can happen
through the screen.
Yes, I believe that they'reright, right there where you're
at.
If you just humble your heart,if you just humble your spirit
and say God, I can't deal withthis any longer.
God, I need you to deliver mefrom this anxiety.
God, I need you to deliver mefrom this depression, from this

(01:22:41):
heartache.
I don't want to walk aroundwith this burden any longer.
God, I believe that God canheal you and restore you, and
God can do a new thing, becausemy God is a God that Restores
the broken hearted man, thatliberates the, the, the ones
that that are oppressed, for thespirit of the Lord is upon me

(01:23:03):
and he has anointed me.
It says in Isaiah 61, and it'sthe anointing of God that breaks
the yoke.

Speaker 2 (01:23:10):
Last question I want to ask you how do you believe
what is the right way for peoplewho went through pain, for
people who have valid pain, real, true pain, whether that's
physically, spiritually,emotionally how does someone go
through pain and how do theyhandle it according?

Speaker 1 (01:23:31):
Accordingly, with their faith and Matthew 18,
verses 21 to 35.
It talks about the unmercifulservant and I kind of paraphrase
a little bit the unmercifulservant, there was a keen that
when the settled debts with hissir, with the servants, and this
In the nlt version, the newliving translation, I like it
makes it very modern.
There's other versions that sayTalon's and the Nars and all

(01:23:52):
this.
But he says that there was thisservant that old millions and
and he was gonna have him thrownin jail.
And what happened is thisservant got on his knees and
pleaded and asked for mercy,right, for grace, and it touched
the king's heart and he gavehim mercy and grace and and

(01:24:12):
cleared him of his debt.
But what is amazing is thatthis servant then later on goes
up by his day but finds somebodythat owes him not millions but
owes him thousands.
And I would say, oh cool, he'sgonna forgive him, no problem,
he's been forgiven.
But instead this serving thatsays he grabs him and starts
choking him and says, andwhere's my money?

(01:24:32):
Right, yeah, pay me what youowe me.
So then this person ends updoing the same thing gets on his
knees, begs him, pleads withhim, forgive me on my debt.
But instead of him beingmerciful because bless are those
who are merciful, for they willbe shown mercy.
Instead of him being merciful,he has him thrown in jail Until

(01:24:54):
he pays back.
Now the king finds this out andcalls him up and he says Worms,
you shouldn't have.
You have been merciful, justhow I was merciful with you.
And he said.
He casted him to the prison andbe tortured by the jailers
until he paid back all that heowed.
This is the same way our fatherin heaven would do with us if

(01:25:17):
we don't forgive from our heart,says the last verse of that
passage.
Man, god cannot forgive us Ifwe can't forgive them.
So therefore, you carry thisburden.
I know it wasn't easy what theydid to you, and, and
forgiveness doesn't mean thatthey won.
Forgiving doesn't mean thatyou're weak.

(01:25:38):
Forgiving doesn't mean thatthey were right with what they
did to you.
Forgiveness is giving it on tothe Lord and allowing him to
come into your heart and performa surgery, a supernatural
surgery, surgery that not anyScientist, no therapist, no
doctor can perform, only throughthe power of the Holy Spirit.

(01:25:58):
You do the natural and Godwould do the supernatural.
You do the physical and Godwould do the supernatural, those
the thing that the spiritualamen, and so for you to heal
from any wound.
You got to understand firstthat you are also a sinner and
that you also need Godforgiveness, amen, and Then
you'll understand that it's onlyright for you to forgive,

(01:26:22):
because you can't carry thatweight over your shoulders.
You need God to liberate you,to make peace with you, and I
think we've talked about this.
We're about the whole podcast.
If you listen to, if you listento this whole podcast from
beginning to end, you'll hearthe stories of how God made me
free from, from anxiety,depression and all that.
How God made me free from asexual you know assault, a

(01:26:44):
sexual abuse.
God made me free from fromhaving hatred towards my father
man.
That's the only way that Godcan use you.
If you can't forget, we seesometimes we're great at being
spiritual Christians that werereally bad at being people that
forgive you.
We get speaking tongues andprophesy and preach a great

(01:27:05):
message, but if we don't havelove, it means nothing.
First Corinthians, chapter 13,verses one to eight, talks about
what love is, but the firstthree scriptures tells us that
when we do things that our loveis just a resounding symbol,
it's not pleasing unto the Lordand I want to be a sacrifice.
I want to be a perfume offragrance that's pleasing unto

(01:27:27):
the Lord, that when he sees medoing whatever I do, that it's
pleasing unto him.
Not that I'm perfect, but Iserve a perfect God and I
understand that.
I need forgiveness and I needto forgive those who have hurt
me.
Sets you free.

Speaker 2 (01:27:47):
Sets you free, and I feel that there's so many.
I feel that there's a lot ofpeople that have gone through
something when they were youngerand they still haven't forgiven
that person, because when yousweep it underneath the rug,
they do not see it and all thatdoes is delay the mission that

(01:28:11):
God Almighty has on your life.
Forgiveness is so powerful man.

Speaker 1 (01:28:18):
See, look, the closer you get to light, the more you
start seeing the blemishes, thestains.
God exposes what is unclean,what shouldn't be there.
We're wearing black.
If I dim all the lights in here, I wouldn't even see any
imperfections in your pants oranything like that.
But the moment we turn on thelights and I start walking

(01:28:41):
towards light, I'll be able tosee the scars, the pain, and
sometimes people don't want towalk towards Christ because it
feels uncomfortable.
Because then God starts exposingthings in your life.
And he doesn't expose things inyour life to embarrass you, to
bring shame.
He exposes them because hebrings awareness of what needs
to be healed, of what needs tobe restored, of what needs to be

(01:29:03):
redeemed.
And let me tell you that guiltis from the devil, but
conviction is from the HolySpirit.
Guilt will bring you further,but conviction will bring you
closer, and I pray that todayGod convicts you of any
unforgiveness that you have inyour heart through the power of
the Holy Spirit.
That brings you conviction,because he wants you near.

(01:29:24):
And even though it'suncomfortable, look, god.
Look how wounded I am.
Look at these scars.
Look how bad I cut myself.
Look how much I've beendrinking.
Look how much I've been smoking.
I spent half my check, or 80%of my check, on all these
dispensaries because I'm tryingto numb the pain.
But, lord, here I am.

Speaker 2 (01:29:47):
And those who are watching let this be a testament
to that those who arephysically hurting.
If God can save me someone whois nasty, someone who genuinely
hated God because I thought hewas punishing me if he can save

(01:30:07):
me, if he can love me, I promiseyou he will do the same for you
.
Why?
Because you were made in Hisimage, amen.
And nothing can ever take thataway.
Nothing can ever take.
How much God loves you.
That's right.

(01:30:28):
Nothing, the spirit ofvictimization.
We rebuke that.

Speaker 1 (01:30:34):
You said something earlier.
You said some people like tofeel depressed, and that's true,
because that was me.
They like to feel sorry forthemselves.
They like others to feel sorryfor them.
They love the attention that itcomes with.
And one day, let me tell youthat there was a moment last
year when I said I can't livedepressed and feeling sorry for

(01:30:58):
me losing my mom the rest of mylife.
I'm always going to rememberher.
I'm never going to forget her.
I'm just going to learn to livewithout her and I know I'll see
her in heaven one day.
But in the meantime, there's alot to do and I can't walk
around feeling sorry for myself.
When I live and I serve amighty, great God, the King of
all kings, the host of hosts,the Lord of lords, I can't walk

(01:31:21):
around with my head down when Iserve a God that's on a mighty
throne.
Above all, come on Elohim.
Thank you for listening toElohim Podcasts, a podcast about
real life issues from abiblical perspective.
It was an honor and a pleasure,dom, to have shared this
platform with you.

(01:31:41):
Thank you for sharing yourstory, for being vulnerable and
for being transparent.
I ask the Lord to bless yourlife, to take you to great and
mighty places, that he protectyou from any dart of the enemy.
We have to have the shield offaith.
No weapon from the againstshall prosper, but we must have

(01:32:04):
and hold the shield of faith.
And I bless your life, man.
You've been a blessing to me.
You've been a blessing to a lotof young adults.
You've been a blessing to youngand up and coming ministers.
You know who they are and letme tell you that when that's
happening, you're going to getattacked, you're going to get
tempted, but I ask you that younever forget how far you've come

(01:32:27):
and you may not be where youwant to be, but you're far from
where you used to be.
Praise God.

Speaker 2 (01:32:33):
God bless your life, man.
God bless you, brother.
Thank you for having me, man.

Speaker 1 (01:32:37):
God bless you.
Stay tuned for the next episode.

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