November 13, 2025 • 12 mins
In this episode, Michelle explores:
- How her divorce became the catalyst for rediscovering what she truly wanted in partnership
- Why the second half of life invites us to fall upward into meaning, not back into patterns
- The 5 pillars of conscious love after 40 — authenticity, emotional intimacy, reimagined sensuality, interdependence, and ease
- The difference between emotional and physical intimacy (and how they dance together now)
- What healing looks like when you’ve carried pain from your past relationships
- How to reclaim desire as an energy that begins within you
Plus: a guided embodiment ritual to help you come home to your body and reconnect with your inner flame of self-love.
Segments
- Starting Over Isn’t Starting Over
- Love Through the Decades
- The Spreadsheet Moment
- Emotional Intimacy Is the New Foreplay
- Physical Intimacy Reimagined
- Independence Meets Interdependence
- The Wisdom of Falling Forward
- Reclamation
Book - Falling Upward by Richard Rohr
Welcome to The Embodied Living Podcast.
This podcast is for the woman who's done with the pretending. Done with the shrinking, the people-pleasing, the burnout badge of honor. She’s ready to come home to her body, her truth, and her power.
I'm Michelle, a Feminine Embodiment Guide, no-BS truth teller, and woman who spent way too many years living in her head, doubting her worth, and dimming her light.
This space is where we unravel the old stories and reconnect with what it really means to live as an embodied woman. Expect juicy conversations on:
💫 Confidence, boundaries, and feminine energy
💫 Healing the good girl conditioning and embracing your full self
💫 Mindfulness, movement, tapping, and real-talk healing tools
💫 Being a woman in a world that profits off your silence
Whether you're on a walk, in the bath, or hiding from your kids in the car (been there), these episodes are your weekly permission slip to drop back into you.
🎧 Subscribe to Embodied Living with Michelle wherever you listen to podcasts—and if you love what you hear, leave a review and share with your soul sisters.
Let’s stop performing life and start living it.
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
So I had not planned on another episode in this
season.
And then my partner and I weretalking at how we view
relationships and partnershipsdifferent now that we are
approaching 50.
When my marriage ended, Iremember sitting there one night
thinking, now what?
After more than 20 years ofbeing a wife, a mom, a partner,
I suddenly had to figure out whoI was as a woman again.
(00:22):
And honestly, I didn't know.
When I stepped back into thedating world, I was like a deer
in headlights.
I didn't have boundaries.
I didn't know what I wanted.
I just knew I didn't want what Ihad before.
So I dated a little.
I got my heart bruised.
And each time I learnedsomething new about myself.
What I realized, and this washumbling, is that if I didn't
(00:46):
get clear on what I wanted, I'dkeep attracting what I didn't.
So one night I did what anyemotionally aware spreadsheet
loving woman would do.
I opened Excel.
I wrote out everything thatmattered to me, what I wanted to
give to a partner, what I wantedto receive, how I wanted to feel
in the relationship.
I listed what I wanted us tocreate together: the laughter,
(01:10):
play, emotional safety, and onevery clear non-negotiable.
A man who never raises hisvoice.
It took about 18 months ofstaying true to that list,
dating intentionally, walkingaway when something didn't
align, to finally meet a man whoreflected so much of what I had
written.
(01:30):
And when he showed up, Irealized something profound.
It wasn't that I had found him,it's that I had finally become
the woman who could attract thatkind of love.
So that experience made mecompletely reevaluate what love,
companionship, and partnershipmean in the second half of life.
We spend the first half buildingidentities, careers, family
(01:54):
stability.
We're climbing the ladders,we're checking the boxes, we're
collecting milestones.
But as Richard Rohr writes inhis book, Falling Forward, the
second half of life is aboutfalling, not in failure, but in
faith.
It's about falling into meaning,into depth, into our truer
selves.
He says the first half is theouter journey, the ego, this
(02:15):
driving, the who am I supposedto be phase.
But the second half is the innerone, the journey back home to
who we really are.
And that's exactly what loveafter 40 feels like.
It's no longer aboutperformance, it's about
presence, no longer about rulesor rules, but about resonance.
This is the phase where loveisn't about building a life
(02:36):
together, it's about living lifemore fully together, with
honesty, with humor, withself-awareness, with a
tenderness that only comes fromfalling forward into your own
soul.
So, you know, when I look back,love really does evolve with us,
right?
Every decade brings its ownrhythm, its own lessons, its own
(02:57):
kind of connection.
So let's dive in a bit on this.
In our 20s, it's all aboutdiscovering passion, chemistry,
curiosity, those wild firstexperiences, that kind that make
you feel alive and unstoppable.
It's a time of adventure, tryingnew things, figuring out who you
are both in love and outside ofit.
We're learning how tocommunicate, how to handle
(03:21):
conflict and dreaming about whatthe future would look like.
Then come our 30s, and loveshifts into building and
balancing.
It's about partnership,teamwork, navigating the chaos
of careers, homes, evenparenting.
It's where we start cravingdepth over novelty, emotional
connection over butterflies.
We're trying to find that us,time amid all the noise,
(03:44):
aligning on values and realizingthat real intimacy, it isn't
just about frequency, it's aboutconnection.
So here we are into our 40s,where things start to change
once again.
It's about reconnection andrealignment.
Desire doesn't just spark, itneeds to be tended to.
We crave honesty, support, spacefor our individual growth.
(04:06):
We're rediscovering who we are,doing new things together,
learning how to truly listeninstead of just fix.
As we move into our 50s, lovebecomes a reflection and
renewal.
It is friendship that takes overour center.
We savor laughter, comfort,shared wellness, romance
(04:27):
reawakens, not as fireworks, butas a steady flame.
We dream together again, maybethrough travel, creativity,
service, and we start thinkingabout our legacy, about what
we're leaving behind as a team.
Now, as we enter our 60s andbeyond, love softens into wisdom
and ease.
There's gratitude for the smallthings, a morning coffee, a
(04:49):
shared joke, a familiar touch.
Emotional safety deepens intosomething sacred, unconditional
acceptance.
Playfulness returns, touchbecomes tender, not always
sexual, but soul deep.
It's about care, continuity, andthe gentle knowing that you've
built a lifetime of love in allits forms.
(05:09):
So when I talk about reclaiminglove after 40, I don't mean
going back to the fire of the20s over my 20s.
I mean learning how to createwarmth, depth, and desire that
matches who we are now.
Now that I'm in my 40s,especially, especially after my
(05:30):
divorce, love has a whole newtexture for me.
It's slower, more intentional,more embodied.
It means something deeper.
It has become about truth,alignment, about choosing peace
over perfection.
It isn't about finding someoneto complete me, it's about
finding someone to grow with.
(05:50):
This chapter isn't aboutstarting over, it's about
starting deeper with moreself-awareness, stronger
boundaries, and a softer, wiserheart.
Here's what tends to matter mostnow.
And let's start withauthenticity over appearance.
After years of performing therole of partner, parent,
peacemaker, there's zerotolerance for pretending.
(06:11):
We crave realness.
We want someone who gets ourquarks and doesn't flinch.
Attraction now lives in energy,not perfection.
When emotional available meetschemistry, that's where it can
be electric.
Number two, emotional intimacyis first.
Sex doesn't stop mattering, itjust means something different.
Emotional intimacy becomes thenew foreplay.
(06:34):
It's in the conversations thatstretch late into the night.
It's in being seen, not justdesired.
Connection now feels likesafety, not adrenaline.
And that safety creates thespace for a deeper pleasure.
Number three, physical intimacyreimagined.
Our bodies change, of course,but awareness grows.
(06:55):
This can be the sexiest decadeyet.
When it's approached withcuriosity instead of pressure,
slower, intentional,exploratory, sensual touch,
breath, energy, presence.
It's not about performance, it'sabout connection, about
rediscovering what turns you onnow in this version of you.
(07:16):
And number four, independencemeets interdependence.
We build our own lives.
We don't need anyone, whichmakes choosing someone that much
more meaningful.
Partnership becomes a consciouschoice, not a dependency.
Boundaries are clear, desiresare honest.
(07:36):
We are craving connection, notcontrol, and the relationship
becomes a bonus, not a lifeline.
Number five, shared growth andease.
At this age, drama feels likenoise.
We want laughter, softness,emotional maturity.
We want someone who cancommunicate without the chaos.
It's not fireworks anymore.
(07:57):
It's a slow burning alignment,friendship with chemistry, ease
with depth.
That's the new intimacy.
So in this season, emotional andphysical intimacy intertwine a
little differently.
Emotional intimacy feels likebeing safe enough to cry, share,
(08:17):
sit in silence together.
Physical intimacy feels likecoming home to your body again.
Emotional intimacy is builtthrough vulnerability, trust.
Physical intimacy is builtthrough playfulness and
presence.
One heals your heart, the otherawakens your senses.
Together they create connectionthat's alive, honest,
(08:39):
sustainable.
This is what consciousconnection really looks like.
It's love that doesn't chase thehigh, it builds into the depth.
It's not about performance, it'sabout your presence.
This is love in the second halfof life.
It's not based on the adrenalineof new, but on the awareness of
real.
(09:00):
And of course, before we canbuild that kind of love, we have
to heal what's still living inour nervous system, the
patterns, the fears, the partsof us still waiting to be
chosen.
Even when we've done the work,we still bring fragments with
us.
Those quiet triggers thatwhisper, don't get too
comfortable.
Healing isn't about erasing yourpast, it's about transforming
(09:22):
your relationship with it.
It's looking at your patternswith compassion, not blame, and
choosing differently.
For me, that healing looked likeradical honesty, acknowledging
where I had overgiven,over-explained,
over-accommodated.
I didn't enjoy this process,people.
I wanted to blame my ex foreverything.
(09:44):
But when I gave myself thatspace to have that awareness,
when I created and started torelease that, I created space
for love that felt mutual,grounded, and real.
So now in this season of mylife, I've made myself a promise
to live in alignment with what Iknow to be true, to show up as
(10:07):
the woman I've become, not theone I thought I had to be to
keep love.
That's the reclamation.
Not starting over, but startingtruer.
Desire now begins within me.
It's not about being pursued,it's about being present.
So where you are right now, justtake a slow breath, get in
(10:29):
through your nose, and we'regonna just let go a little bit.
Okay?
So I want you to take thatbreath again, let it fill your
belly, exhale gently, lettingyour shoulders drop.
Do it again.
(10:49):
And this time release the weightof the old stories.
The ones that say you have toearn love.
Place one hand over your heartand the over the other one over
your lower belly.
I want you to feel yourheartbeat, your rhythm.
I want you to whisper toyourself, I'm safe in my body.
(11:10):
I'm allowed to feel, I'm enough,right here as I am.
Inhale what nourishes you, yourpleasure, your peace, that
possibility.
Exhale what no longer belongswith you, that guilt, the shame,
the comparison.
Maybe roll your shoulders, swayyour hips.
(11:31):
Let your body say thank you forcarrying you through every
version of love.
And take one more deep breathand imagine a warm light in your
chest.
This is your light.
The light of your own self-love.
That's the home you've beenreturning to all along.
(11:54):
If this episode spoke to yourheart, if it reminded you that
love after 40 can be deeper,wilder, and more aligned than
ever, I'd love for you to joinme inside my Facebook page of
Embodied Evolution.
It's where I explore confidence,sensuality, healing, and
embodiment.
It's where we stop performingfor love and start living it.
(12:17):
And if this episode resonatedwith you, please share it with
another woman who's finding herway back to herself too.
Because the more of us who lovefrom truth instead of fear, the
more beautiful the robe becomes.
So I had not planned on another episode in this
season.
And then my partner and I weretalking at how we view
relationships and partnershipsdifferent now that we are
approaching 50.
When my marriage ended, Iremember sitting there one night
thinking, now what?
After more than 20 years ofbeing a wife, a mom, a partner,
I suddenly had to figure out whoI was as a woman again.
(00:22):
And honestly, I didn't know.
When I stepped back into thedating world, I was like a deer
in headlights.
I didn't have boundaries.
I didn't know what I wanted.
I just knew I didn't want what Ihad before.
So I dated a little.
I got my heart bruised.
And each time I learnedsomething new about myself.
What I realized, and this washumbling, is that if I didn't
(00:46):
get clear on what I wanted, I'dkeep attracting what I didn't.
So one night I did what anyemotionally aware spreadsheet
loving woman would do.
I opened Excel.
I wrote out everything thatmattered to me, what I wanted to
give to a partner, what I wantedto receive, how I wanted to feel
in the relationship.
I listed what I wanted us tocreate together: the laughter,
(01:10):
play, emotional safety, and onevery clear non-negotiable.
A man who never raises hisvoice.
It took about 18 months ofstaying true to that list,
dating intentionally, walkingaway when something didn't
align, to finally meet a man whoreflected so much of what I had
written.
(01:30):
And when he showed up, Irealized something profound.
It wasn't that I had found him,it's that I had finally become
the woman who could attract thatkind of love.
So that experience made mecompletely reevaluate what love,
companionship, and partnershipmean in the second half of life.
We spend the first half buildingidentities, careers, family
(01:54):
stability.
We're climbing the ladders,we're checking the boxes, we're
collecting milestones.
But as Richard Rohr writes inhis book, Falling Forward, the
second half of life is aboutfalling, not in failure, but in
faith.
It's about falling into meaning,into depth, into our truer
selves.
He says the first half is theouter journey, the ego, this
(02:15):
driving, the who am I supposedto be phase.
But the second half is the innerone, the journey back home to
who we really are.
And that's exactly what loveafter 40 feels like.
It's no longer aboutperformance, it's about
presence, no longer about rulesor rules, but about resonance.
This is the phase where loveisn't about building a life
(02:36):
together, it's about living lifemore fully together, with
honesty, with humor, withself-awareness, with a
tenderness that only comes fromfalling forward into your own
soul.
So, you know, when I look back,love really does evolve with us,
right?
Every decade brings its ownrhythm, its own lessons, its own
(02:57):
kind of connection.
So let's dive in a bit on this.
In our 20s, it's all aboutdiscovering passion, chemistry,
curiosity, those wild firstexperiences, that kind that make
you feel alive and unstoppable.
It's a time of adventure, tryingnew things, figuring out who you
are both in love and outside ofit.
We're learning how tocommunicate, how to handle
(03:21):
conflict and dreaming about whatthe future would look like.
Then come our 30s, and loveshifts into building and
balancing.
It's about partnership,teamwork, navigating the chaos
of careers, homes, evenparenting.
It's where we start cravingdepth over novelty, emotional
connection over butterflies.
We're trying to find that us,time amid all the noise,
(03:44):
aligning on values and realizingthat real intimacy, it isn't
just about frequency, it's aboutconnection.
So here we are into our 40s,where things start to change
once again.
It's about reconnection andrealignment.
Desire doesn't just spark, itneeds to be tended to.
We crave honesty, support, spacefor our individual growth.
(04:06):
We're rediscovering who we are,doing new things together,
learning how to truly listeninstead of just fix.
As we move into our 50s, lovebecomes a reflection and
renewal.
It is friendship that takes overour center.
We savor laughter, comfort,shared wellness, romance
(04:27):
reawakens, not as fireworks, butas a steady flame.
We dream together again, maybethrough travel, creativity,
service, and we start thinkingabout our legacy, about what
we're leaving behind as a team.
Now, as we enter our 60s andbeyond, love softens into wisdom
and ease.
There's gratitude for the smallthings, a morning coffee, a
(04:49):
shared joke, a familiar touch.
Emotional safety deepens intosomething sacred, unconditional
acceptance.
Playfulness returns, touchbecomes tender, not always
sexual, but soul deep.
It's about care, continuity, andthe gentle knowing that you've
built a lifetime of love in allits forms.
(05:09):
So when I talk about reclaiminglove after 40, I don't mean
going back to the fire of the20s over my 20s.
I mean learning how to createwarmth, depth, and desire that
matches who we are now.
Now that I'm in my 40s,especially, especially after my
(05:30):
divorce, love has a whole newtexture for me.
It's slower, more intentional,more embodied.
It means something deeper.
It has become about truth,alignment, about choosing peace
over perfection.
It isn't about finding someoneto complete me, it's about
finding someone to grow with.
(05:50):
This chapter isn't aboutstarting over, it's about
starting deeper with moreself-awareness, stronger
boundaries, and a softer, wiserheart.
Here's what tends to matter mostnow.
And let's start withauthenticity over appearance.
After years of performing therole of partner, parent,
peacemaker, there's zerotolerance for pretending.
(06:11):
We crave realness.
We want someone who gets ourquarks and doesn't flinch.
Attraction now lives in energy,not perfection.
When emotional available meetschemistry, that's where it can
be electric.
Number two, emotional intimacyis first.
Sex doesn't stop mattering, itjust means something different.
Emotional intimacy becomes thenew foreplay.
(06:34):
It's in the conversations thatstretch late into the night.
It's in being seen, not justdesired.
Connection now feels likesafety, not adrenaline.
And that safety creates thespace for a deeper pleasure.
Number three, physical intimacyreimagined.
Our bodies change, of course,but awareness grows.
(06:55):
This can be the sexiest decadeyet.
When it's approached withcuriosity instead of pressure,
slower, intentional,exploratory, sensual touch,
breath, energy, presence.
It's not about performance, it'sabout connection, about
rediscovering what turns you onnow in this version of you.
(07:16):
And number four, independencemeets interdependence.
We build our own lives.
We don't need anyone, whichmakes choosing someone that much
more meaningful.
Partnership becomes a consciouschoice, not a dependency.
Boundaries are clear, desiresare honest.
(07:36):
We are craving connection, notcontrol, and the relationship
becomes a bonus, not a lifeline.
Number five, shared growth andease.
At this age, drama feels likenoise.
We want laughter, softness,emotional maturity.
We want someone who cancommunicate without the chaos.
It's not fireworks anymore.
(07:57):
It's a slow burning alignment,friendship with chemistry, ease
with depth.
That's the new intimacy.
So in this season, emotional andphysical intimacy intertwine a
little differently.
Emotional intimacy feels likebeing safe enough to cry, share,
(08:17):
sit in silence together.
Physical intimacy feels likecoming home to your body again.
Emotional intimacy is builtthrough vulnerability, trust.
Physical intimacy is builtthrough playfulness and
presence.
One heals your heart, the otherawakens your senses.
Together they create connectionthat's alive, honest,
(08:39):
sustainable.
This is what consciousconnection really looks like.
It's love that doesn't chase thehigh, it builds into the depth.
It's not about performance, it'sabout your presence.
This is love in the second halfof life.
It's not based on the adrenalineof new, but on the awareness of
real.
(09:00):
And of course, before we canbuild that kind of love, we have
to heal what's still living inour nervous system, the
patterns, the fears, the partsof us still waiting to be
chosen.
Even when we've done the work,we still bring fragments with
us.
Those quiet triggers thatwhisper, don't get too
comfortable.
Healing isn't about erasing yourpast, it's about transforming
(09:22):
your relationship with it.
It's looking at your patternswith compassion, not blame, and
choosing differently.
For me, that healing looked likeradical honesty, acknowledging
where I had overgiven,over-explained,
over-accommodated.
I didn't enjoy this process,people.
I wanted to blame my ex foreverything.
(09:44):
But when I gave myself thatspace to have that awareness,
when I created and started torelease that, I created space
for love that felt mutual,grounded, and real.
So now in this season of mylife, I've made myself a promise
to live in alignment with what Iknow to be true, to show up as
(10:07):
the woman I've become, not theone I thought I had to be to
keep love.
That's the reclamation.
Not starting over, but startingtruer.
Desire now begins within me.
It's not about being pursued,it's about being present.
So where you are right now, justtake a slow breath, get in
(10:29):
through your nose, and we'regonna just let go a little bit.
Okay?
So I want you to take thatbreath again, let it fill your
belly, exhale gently, lettingyour shoulders drop.
Do it again.
(10:49):
And this time release the weightof the old stories.
The ones that say you have toearn love.
Place one hand over your heartand the over the other one over
your lower belly.
I want you to feel yourheartbeat, your rhythm.
I want you to whisper toyourself, I'm safe in my body.
(11:10):
I'm allowed to feel, I'm enough,right here as I am.
Inhale what nourishes you, yourpleasure, your peace, that
possibility.
Exhale what no longer belongswith you, that guilt, the shame,
the comparison.
Maybe roll your shoulders, swayyour hips.
(11:31):
Let your body say thank you forcarrying you through every
version of love.
And take one more deep breathand imagine a warm light in your
chest.
This is your light.
The light of your own self-love.
That's the home you've beenreturning to all along.
(11:54):
If this episode spoke to yourheart, if it reminded you that
love after 40 can be deeper,wilder, and more aligned than
ever, I'd love for you to joinme inside my Facebook page of
Embodied Evolution.
It's where I explore confidence,sensuality, healing, and
embodiment.
It's where we stop performingfor love and start living it.
(12:17):
And if this episode resonatedwith you, please share it with
another woman who's finding herway back to herself too.
Because the more of us who lovefrom truth instead of fear, the
more beautiful the robe becomes.
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