August 11, 2023 • 46 mins
Get ready to dive into a bubbling pot of heartwarming stories and culinary delights in this episode of 'Stirring Up Joy'! We're pulling up a seat at the virtual kitchen table with none other than the fabulous Alexis Hillyard, the mastermind behind the YouTube sensation Stump Kitchen. Join us as we savor every flavorful moment of her journey – from connecting over food with her partner to becoming a cooking sensation with a twist.
Imagine whipping up gluten-free vegan eats and stumptastic treats using her 'stump'! Alexis's infectious enthusiasm and creative spirit have transformed cooking into a joyous adventure. What started as a way to share her love for cooking has blossomed into a platform of empowerment for limb-different individuals, all with a pinch of Pride!
Discover how Alexis's kitchen became a stage where diverse voices shine as co-hosts, all while cooking up delicious dishes and sparking conversations that simmer with authenticity. With a dash of determination and a sprinkle of community, she's cooking up connections that span generations, cultures, and walks of life.
So grab your apron and tune in to this episode, where the sizzle of LGBTQ+ & disability pride meets the sizzle of culinary creativity. Let's celebrate the magic of Alexis Hillyard and Stump Kitchen as she stirs up not just recipes but a delicious sense of unity and joy!"
- Watch Stump Kitchen on YouTube
- Follow Stump Kitchen on Instagram
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Hosted by Lainie Ishbia and Estela Lugo.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Estela (00:03):
Welcome to the Embrace-It series, where women
with all types of disabilitiescan be real, resourceful and
stylish.
With each episode, you'll walkor roll away with everyday tips,
life hacks and success storiesfrom community leaders and
influencers.
So take off your leg braces andstay awhile with Lainey and
Estella.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Hi, I'm Lainey and I have CMT.
I'm a neuro-muscular disorderaffecting approximately 2.6
million people worldwide.
Lainie (00:36):
That's as many as MS.
We believe disabilities shouldnever get in the way of looking
or feeling good.
Both of us wear leg braces andhave learned through our own
personal journeys to embrace it.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Brought to you by Launchpad 516 Studios.
Each episode is designed tochallenge your own stigmas and
beliefs around disability.
We want our listeners to getthe most value for their time
spent with us, so we interviewsome of the most empowering
disability badasses in the world.
Through storytelling, personalexperiences and tips, we're all
reminded of our own strengthsand endless potential.
Lainie (01:09):
For more information and exclusive resources, check out
our websites at trend-ablecomand hnf-curorg, and don't forget
to hit the subscribe button forfuture episodes and special
promos.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Welcome everyone to another episode of the Embracing
Podcast with Lainey and Estella.
Hey Lainey, hi Estella, hieveryone.
Hey, we are back with anotherepisode and this time we have a
amazing self-taught chef.
Her name is Alexis Ilyard.
Not only is she a self-taughtchef, she is an incredible
(01:56):
disability advocate living witha limb difference.
She is an amazing and funcontent creator, which we'll be
diving into a little bit more.
She's from Canada, alberta,canada, and we're so excited to
be welcoming you today, alexis.
Thanks for joining us.
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Alexis Hillyard (02:15):
I'm thrilled to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Yes, we have been following your videos for quite
a while and I find myselfcracking up out loud when I see
some of the stuff and the videosthat you are putting out there
and just bringing so much joybut also, at the same time, some
awareness.
But before we talk about that,let's get started a little bit
(02:39):
about living with a limbdifference.
This is a topic that we havenot yet covered and we're so
excited to hear about yourjourney and your experience.
So maybe take us back a littlebit about how you grew up living
with a limb difference.
What was that like for youpersonally?
Yeah, totally.
Alexis Hillyard (02:58):
Well, I guess it started off when I was born
and my parents.
It didn't show up on theultrasound.
So my parents were surprised,everybody was surprised, and I
guess my birth was a little bittraumatic because the doctors,
as soon as they noticed, theywhisked me away and they did a
bunch of tests just to see whatwas quote unquote wrong with me.
(03:23):
So my poor mom, I had beenwhisked away.
She didn't get to hold me rightaway and my dad eventually went
with them and was like you knowwhat?
She's fine, she's just likemissing a hand because they were
doing all these tests and stuff.
And he had some background intraining in psychology and
(03:43):
babies and stuff.
So he was like she's okay.
But you know, so after thatinitial trauma, things were
great and my parents they, mydad especially they tried to do
a bunch of stuff for me as I wasa baby growing up.
They thought, oh no, she's notgoing to be able to crawl or
maybe she won't be able to holda bottle or maybe she won't use
(04:07):
her arm, you know.
And so they would.
You know, they put prostheticson me by recommendation of the
doctors, and stuff which Ididn't like.
It was kind of like putting aT-shirt on a cat.
They just sit there and thenthey fall off the couch.
You know, I just kind of satthere like a lump a lot and I
remember.
I remember the feeling of themand they were like you know, I
(04:27):
didn't really want or need themwhen I was 18 months old, you
know, but my dad used to, like Ihad a mobile over my crib and
he would tie a string from themobile to my left arm, which is
where I have my limb difference,and I call my arm my stump.
Not everyone likes that word.
I love the word it's.
You know, language is personal,so that's what I used to
(04:49):
describe it.
And so he did that so that Iwould realize that I had an arm
that I could control the worldwith and stuff.
But I so it was very lovelywhat they did, but it wasn't
necessary because I ended upusing it so much.
Like on my first birthday.
There's a video of me eating mycake and I'm eating icing with
(05:10):
my finger and then I'm eatingicing with my stump.
So I'm actively using both armsall the time and I think for
the most part that's, you know,a lot of people's experience
when they're born with acongenital limb difference, like
like I was, but of course thatthat depends.
And then growing up I I didn'thave too many issues with
bullying.
(05:30):
I had a few, but not too bad,and just people staring and lots
of questions.
And then the way that my familyprepared me for school was
really lovely.
We would my sister and my momand I we'd play school before I
went to kindergarten and theywould be other students or maybe
the teacher, and they wouldpractice by like asking
questions like hey, whathappened to your hand?
(05:52):
Or why do you look like that,or whatever, and then I could
rehearse how to answer that sothat when I went into school I
didn't feel overwhelmed withthese questions and I could
answer them confidently and Ihad a good like lexicon and
weight to describe my body.
So that was really reallylovely.
And then I don't think I everhad anything physically that I I
(06:12):
you know couldn't necessarilydo Like.
I always found ways to adapt.
But there were definitely somefrustrations in my life, like
learning to tie shoes.
I was really angry about that,but my dad sat with me and
showed me how and I eventuallyfound a way to tie my shoes
using my teeth and I did thatfor about three years in
elementary school and then Ilearned how to do it using just
(06:34):
my stump in my hand.
And then I think there was justone time in junior high where I
saw a video of myself dancingand I was in a trio of.
I was I danced for a lot of mychildhood and I was watching
this trio and I was in themiddle of these two other
dancers and I realized, probablyfor the first time really, how
(06:55):
different I looked from them andI just broke down, I just wept
in my mom's arms and I was like,why do I look so different?
Why?
Why blah, blah, blah?
Like because I think I realizedfor the first time that if in
one other people see me and theylook at my body and how
different I am, that they mightthink thoughts that I can't
(07:15):
control.
They might think that I'mincapable, that my parents took
a lot of drugs when they werepregnant with me, that I can't
do certain things or that it'sscary, like just so many things.
I realized that people can andwould probably assume about me
and that just made me feel souncomfortable.
(07:37):
But after just being with mymom and just crying and her just
letting me be.
I just like got to the otherside and I was like you know
what?
Oh well, I love who I am and myfamily does and my friends do,
and so I just kind of got to theother side of that dark part of
childhood, I guess.
(07:57):
So, yeah, that was kind of my.
And then, like I have lots offun prosthetic stories and I can
tell as well, but that's kindof how my life was going.
Lainie (08:06):
We love prosthetic stories, so I have a quick
question for you, just out ofcuriosity.
I years ago, when I firstlaunched Trendable I, a local
nonprofit.
Lucky Finn, are you familiarwith them?
Alexis Hillyard (08:23):
Yeah, I'm actually one of the Canadian
ambassadors for Lucky Finn.
Lainie (08:28):
Oh, yeah, she's great.
Had coffee with her.
She lives down the street fromme but I'm like literally
forgetting her first name.
Who started it?
Yeah, molly, I love her, she'sso cute.
And when we were first talking,I remember and I'm not quoting
her, but I got the impressionthat she it's her child who has
(08:49):
the limb difference, that sheassociated disability with limb
differences.
Like again, I might I'm notquoting her but for her it was
just, like you know, she's morefocused on, like you know, body
differences, but not necessarilyidentifying, as you know, her
child has a disability.
Do you find that, like I knowfor you, like how, what do you
(09:14):
think about that?
Is that?
Do you identify as having adisability?
Alexis Hillyard (09:19):
Yeah, identify as a disabled woman, and I think
there's a couple of thingsabout that.
I think that language and wordsare very personal and they're
very important and so, howeverpeople want to use those words
for themselves is great, that'simportant for the queer
community, that's important forthe disabled community, that's
important for racialized peopleit's very important, and so
(09:40):
everyone has their own uniquejourney.
But there's a couple of thingsthat I think are happening in
general around disability.
I think that there's still asense that to be called disabled
is bad, because there's a sensein society that to have a
disability that is like that'snot wanted, that's less than
that's scary, that means likejust a lot of negative stuff
(10:02):
around that word and thatconstruct and that comes from so
many like such a history oflike eugenics and just yucky bad
stuff from colonialism andstuff.
But so that's interesting thata lot of people shy away from
the word, especially parents.
For their kids they say, oh,she's differently abled, oh,
(10:25):
she's super abled, like, oh, youknow, my kid is like it's just
not a thing that they want touse for a lot of those reasons,
and that's fair.
However, I think on the flipside, there's a lot of power in
the word disability in manycontexts that people can use to
talk about the ways in whichsociety and people's mentalities
(10:45):
actually do serve to disablepeople who have non-normative
bodies and mental states, andthat is important.
So using it to look at like howthe world is actually
structured to literally disablepeople who don't have the
typical able bodied white male,you know, presence or any
(11:10):
variation of that.
So it's so for me I did.
I wasn't sure at first when Ifirst went into this work and as
a child I never heard the worddisability related to me as a
child and I never really used itfor myself because I didn't
really know much about it, but Idid know that it was like.
You know it had some negativeconnotations based on just
(11:32):
looking at the world around you.
But as an adult and doing thiscontent creation work and
meeting other disabled creatorsonline and realizing that it's
actually a point of power andthere's such beauty in disabled
identities and learning fromother people how a disabled
person navigates the world,there's so much strength and
power.
So for me, talking to otherdisabled mothers, you know we
(11:56):
and especially particularly withlimb differences or folks using
wheelchairs you know sharingstories about how other people
will look at you and sometimeswonder if you're able to take
care of your child.
Like I've got a friend who has alimb difference and literally
somebody in a mall took her babyaway from her as she was trying
to help dress with her baby orsomething, and was like you need
(12:18):
help.
Let me help you with this.
Like, can you imagine a motherwith a under one year old child,
a stranger, picking up thatchild from you, to be like you
need help?
Like that is so terrifying.
That's a lived reality fordisabled parents everywhere.
And so using you know, usingthat as a talking point, I think
(12:39):
it's really extremely important.
And like, and the question is,why did that person do that?
It's because they sawdisability and they assumed lack
, they assumed bad, they assumedunequipped, unable.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
And so.
Alexis Hillyard (12:52):
I use the word disability and I talk about that
and I am who I am and put mybody out there to be like no,
that's not the story, that Iwant to start breaking that
narrative.
So yeah, it's a big and deepconversation.
So I'm glad you asked thequestion and I understand why
some people do shy away from it,but I don't think you have to.
I think it's OK to lean into it.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
And I think what you're doing really gives people
the permission to do that.
And when you're kind ofrebranding disability and really
showing people how you workaround a limb difference, how
you're able to do amazing thingsin the kitchen, I think the
reason I found you was throughyour channel, Stump Kitchen, and
(13:36):
you have dozens and dozens anddozens of videos here in all
different areas.
Whether you have conversationswith other advocates with limb
difference or you're showing howto make gluten-free recipes in
the kitchen.
I think it's something thatagain revealing, pushing away
that curtain of what peopledon't see when it comes to
(13:58):
disability, Like how we dothings in the world, how we're
able to function, how we're ableto prepare a meal for our
family.
I think all of those justreally helps people visualize
and understand the capability ofsomething with any type of
disability and how we're able toadapt and work around that.
(14:19):
Can you talk a little bit abouthow Stump Kitchen was born and
how your love for cooking andpreparing healthy food and all
of that came about?
Alexis Hillyard (14:30):
Yeah, so it came about seven years ago maybe
, and it really just came from I.
I made the decision to do tobecome a vegan as after being a
vegetarian and at around thesame time I also was diagnosed
with a gluten intolerance.
So at the same time I had avery swift and big diet change
(14:51):
and I was terrified because Iwas like I don't really know how
to cook and this is not an easydiet to just, like you know,
prepare for or buy for.
So I just had to kind of getcooking for myself and learning
how.
So really it was you know myown personal process of like
slowly learning vegan,gluten-free recipes and my
(15:12):
partner realizing and myselfalso realizing, like holy crap,
like I actually really enjoycooking.
Like I would go slow, I wouldtry different ingredients, I
would automatically use my stuffas a tool, so to like mash
potatoes or to get batter out ofa bowl.
And my partner was like that isso amazing how you use your
body in the kitchen, like youshould film this, and I was like
(15:34):
, oh, all right, let's try it.
So she helped me film my firstepisode and then I learned, I
taught myself how to edit.
I think it took me like 10hours to edit my first episode,
because I didn't know what I wasdoing oh my gosh, so funny.
And then I put it out there forliterally just for fun and joy,
because it made me feel sojoyful to watch myself have so
(15:55):
much fun.
And then and then after time, Irealized I was getting more and
more comments from people andparents and and folks like me
and with kids like me and andother disabilities, whatever.
Just being like this is amazing,whoa, my kid wants to cook with
you, or like we're trying yourcooking technique and this and
that or like.
And then I slowly, slowlyrealized, after I committed to
(16:17):
making a video, you know a week,or trying to anyway, I realized
that this was more, less aboutjust me having fun and more
important for other people andquite literally being a point of
representation, just like whatyou were talking about earlier,
how you know, opening thatwindow into different ways of
doing things so other people canbe like.
Oh, I see that representationis so important because we don't
(16:40):
get that there's not enough ofthat of of folks that fall
outside the quote unquote normand that representation gives
folks, you know, like me.
When I was a kid growing up, Ididn't see anyone like me on the
, on the news or in the media orwhatever.
But when I did meet someonelike me, it was like amazing.
Lainie (16:59):
First of all, you have so many followers.
We'll talk about that.
But you also like and we wantto definitely get to like the
gluten part of what of yourstory and and talk about maybe
for other people, you know,because gluten free everything
is is trending matches forpeople who have a gluten
intolerance, who's a necessity,but in general, the health
(17:20):
benefits are.
It's um, but your posts are sofunny, as Estella mentioned, and
thank you a lot of them.
Like you know, you're makingfun of yourself.
You know, in a way that's notself-deprecating, but this truly
like connecting people andsaying like look, I just do it
differently.
Um, you know, and Estella and Italk all the time about using
(17:41):
humor just so that others notjust others with disabilities,
but others in the world you knowit's the common denominator.
So like do you?
absolutely yeah, but there's afine line, you know, between
self-deprecating humor and youknow like here.
You know you are different.
You're calling you as you said.
(18:04):
You're comfortable with theterminology of stump where other
people find that it to beinsulting.
You know how do you like.
I mean, have you gotten, like,any negative things from people?
Um, as you've done, your postsand all your videos um, honestly
, no, I haven't had a lot ofnegativity.
Alexis Hillyard (18:22):
Um, I had one person who was also an amputee
um, I don't know if she wascongenital or or if she lost her
mind later on in life onlinesaying that she found, like she
told me directly online, likethat she thought the word stump
was offensive and I was like,yeah, I get that at first.
Okay, at first I was like, ohcrap, like I've messed up, like
(18:43):
I've offended all amputees, ohmy gosh.
Then I thought about it and Ilooked and I was like actually a
lot of people call them, calltheir body, their stumps, and
and and I have another friendwho, um, was born missing most
of her arm and she's got alittle portion of her arm and
she calls it her residual limb.
And I've had medicalprofessionals talk to me about
(19:05):
my arm, like calling it aresidual limb, and I just I
cannot handle that word, I don'tknow why, I just don't like it.
Maybe it's too medical, I'm notsure.
And my friend loves it.
And so then I was like,actually, that's okay, like I,
if you're offended by it, that'sfine, you just don't use it and
I can, and that's, that's,that's life, baby.
Um, so I realized not to takeit personally and it was okay
(19:29):
and it was just one person, soI'm sure other people think it's
yeah, no.
Lainie (19:31):
I'm like referring to like you do these cute, um, you
guys, we, we want you and we'regonna put all the info in the
show notes to definitely checkout um stump kitchen on
Instagram and everywhere else.
But, um, like you know, youdraw little faces on your stuff
with little ears and littlewhatever, and I would imagine
that for some people they'relike that's the first time I've
(19:53):
ever seen someone like doingsomething like that where
they're truly making fun ofthemselves, but in a in a way
that is like great and andpositive and not a negative, you
know thing.
It's like look like it is whatit is.
I'm not gonna be stumped likehere is my stump and it's not,
(20:14):
it's like full on costumecosplay.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I mean it's like it's .
Yeah, it's amazing.
I here's.
Alexis Hillyard (20:22):
Here's why I I don't actually think it's making
fun, I actually think it's aform of beautiful
self-expression that I've beendoing since I was about four or
five years old.
So my sister is two and a halfyears younger than me, and when
she was um about two, one and ahalf two, she really started
playing with my arm like alittle character.
So she was the first personthat saw this arm as a character
(20:44):
, without me doing anything.
She saw it as like someone witha little nose or a little ear
and she would start interactingwith my arm and calling it like
bebe.
She was trying to say baby handand she said bebe.
So the the name bebe stuck andso bebe has been bebe since I
was four years old.
So from that initial love, shewould play with bebe, she would
(21:06):
chew on bebe, she would likelaugh.
Then I started putting onlittle shows for her.
I would turn bebe into acharacter and then soon my right
hand was named biggie.
Biggie came into the picture.
Biggie was the bad guy, bebewas the good guy.
I would put on skits.
Sometimes we'd have costumes.
She would laugh.
My mom used to joke and say youknow, I swear my children have
(21:27):
toys, they don't have to playwith their arms, you know, but
like we loved it.
And so from the very beginning,this arm, bebe, has always been
a part of me in in terms of,like, their own personality.
So it's always been like thisactive, this active love and
creativity that came from her.
So now, as I, as I do thesecosplays, I don't think I'd ever
(21:51):
really call it something likemaking fun.
I would say it's like this formof self-expression that is using
a beautiful and unique part ofme to show the world a type of
art that no one's really everseen before.
And the emotional chords that Iam able to hit with people is
incredible.
Like I recently did like BobRoss and you know he's passed
(22:13):
away, and so a lot of peoplewere very emotionally driven by
that I did the worm from themovie the Labyrinth.
That had over 10 million viewsacross all platforms, because
people are just so likeconnected to these characters,
and so then to see thosecharacters that they've loved
since they were little, on anarm, on a stump I don't know,
there's something emotionalabout it, oh and you know what
(22:34):
it's like.
Lainie (22:35):
You are.
Clearly you are an artist.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 6 (22:51):
This is George, fred and Jason, the co-leaders of
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Speaker 5 (23:11):
Each Speak Talk is about six to ten minutes in
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Join us on the Speak Podcast as our speakers step
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Lainie (23:57):
I'm just thinking of people who maybe don't have limb
differences but have otherdisabilities where they're
covering hiding scars.
Don't want people to see it,and you're doing the exact
opposite.
You're using your disabled armas a form of expression that's
(24:24):
your own Totally amazing.
Alexis Hillyard (24:28):
And I think in that case, what I've noticed is
the amount of comments that Iget and messages in my inbox.
I can't really keep up withthem, which is both a blessing
and a curse.
It's wonderful, but it's alsohard.
I want to talk to everyone, butI will have parents reach out
and people reach out.
I had a person say I think hewas 16, from the States I don't
(24:49):
hide my arm anymore because ofyou and I'm just like, oh man,
and this 16-year-old dude, sogreat.
And then parents of kidssending me pictures of their
little ones with their arms justpainted.
They've just painted them, look, look.
And so they're celebratingthemselves in these new ways.
It's almost like not like Ineed to give anyone permission
(25:12):
for this stuff, but it's likeI've opened a gateway for them
to be like there's more joy hereand I'm allowed to access it,
and so I think it's like,regardless of who you are, what
disability you have, or ifyou're a non-disabled person, I
think it's like opening up thatdoor, giving a little permission
to be like yeah, there's moreto my body and I can celebrate
(25:33):
it in these ways, regardless ofyour disability status, because
the majority of my audience arenon-disabled people.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, you're literally taking something that
a lot of people say don't lookhere, and you're turning it
around and saying who's here,look, let's play.
This is not a tragedy, this issomething positive, this is
something we can all connect on,and just that's such a great
way to put it, estella.
Alexis Hillyard (26:01):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, because most of society
is like you know, don't looklike.
There's still cultures andcountries and places, even in
Canada, where people believe ifyou have a disabled child, don't
take them outside, like that'sa curse.
That's not.
People should not see that.
Can you believe that?
Excuse me?
So absolutely, yeah, look here,this is okay.
(26:22):
So, yeah, that's a good way toput it.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
And I mean speaking about the conversations that
you're encouraging with yourcontent.
I know you have a few otherpeople that make these videos
with you and you have theseconversations that I think are
really important, because Ithink that's one of the
foundations for our podcast isnot everybody has that person in
their life that can relate oris also disabled or has a
similar disability that they canhave these connective
(26:48):
conversations with.
So tell us a little bit aboutthe conversations you have on
your YouTube channel with otherindividuals with limb
differences.
What are those conversationslike?
What are you trying to bringwith some of the questions that
you're asking there?
Alexis Hillyard (27:04):
Well, I think probably some of the most
impactful like relationshipsI've had through the show are
with the children that I workwith.
I mean some great adults too,of course, but the first time I
met Callie, I met her when shewas eight and she's 15 now and
she Her mom found me throughFacebook and was like, oh my
gosh, wow, let's see, you shouldgo with my kid.
(27:24):
I'm like, okay, let's do it.
And she came over and it waswinter and she came inside.
She had a big coat on and Ijust looked at her and I was
like, oh, winter coat zippers,am I right?
And she was like, yeah, theystuck.
I hate doing all my zipper.
I'm like, yeah, me too.
And we just got each otherimmediately.
And from then on it was likethis you know, I don't know, the
(27:47):
wall was broken down and wewere able to connect in ways
that even our parents couldn'tconnect with us, and my mom was
there too, and her mom, and sothey got to go meet and chat and
they're friends now, and sothen her and I got to go and
just play and relate to eachother in a way that most people
can't.
So I think to be able to capturethat on screen and to show
(28:10):
people that generational I'mmirroring.
I guess I don't know.
There's something powerfulabout that.
I think it's helped a lot ofpeople kind of grow into
themselves and for me it'shealed a lot of my inner child
like not like I had a lot ofhealing to do, I had a pretty
good childhood but it's it'sGiven my inner child that
representation that I would haveneeded and I think for her I
(28:32):
just been lucky enough to be theperson in her life to Like when
she has an issue with school,in relation to her limb
difference, or in her lifeshe'll just text me and be like,
what do you do about this?
And I'm like, yeah, let's talkabout that.
Like we just have that soundingboard.
So I think it all of my guestswith the disability or limb
difference or whatever thatrelational Like the way that
(28:55):
we're able to relate to eachother on just more quickly
perhaps than than other peopleis a really cool thing to be
able to capture and it's justenriched my life so much.
Lainie (29:05):
Let's move to the cooking part.
I mean, I don't know anythingabout cooking I literally don't
cook at all but I'm interestedin healthy eating and anything
that can maybe, you know, makeme help me to feel better with
my chronic illness anddisabilities and whatnot.
So you said that you startedout as vegetarian.
(29:27):
Now you're vegan and that youAre gluten free out of necessity
.
It's everywhere, you see.
Now everyone is like is itgluten free?
Is a good free?
Like I only buy gluten freecrackers because all my friends
come over.
They only everyone's glutenfree.
Talk to us.
I know you're not, you knowwe're not asking you to be the
(29:49):
expert of nutrition, but likewhat are what have you found to
be?
You know why?
Is it a beneficial lifestyle?
Alexis Hillyard (29:56):
so that they happen to separate for separate
reasons, so that the glutenintolerance came, you know, in
my adulthood and I was justexperiencing some Symptoms like
inflammation, gi stuff, and so Ijust I had a doctor do an
analysis and that's what cameout and a couple other small
food allergies, but but that wasthe main one, not celiac but an
(30:16):
intolerance.
So For me and I never had thisgrowing up I was able to eat
gluten fine.
But then I had a job at abakery for two years and I think
I just had too much and I thinkmy sister, what are you doing?
Stop.
So I think it just kind of, youknow, worked its way.
I'm not really sure, I don'tknow the science behind it, but
whatever.
So cutting that out reallyhelped with my own inflammation
(30:39):
and now if I do eat gluten, Ireally feel it.
So I just know that for me mybody just feels better without
it, although some we, dependingon how processed it is or isn't,
can be better than others.
So I think it has to do withhow we process, we in this
culture, but that's a wholeother conversation.
And then the vegan stuff on mypartner Allison.
(31:00):
So she was a vegan and this waslike close to when we started
dating and I was like I want tobe a vegan too.
Challenge, like I didn't, Ijust wanted to for, like for
ethical reasons too, of course,but mostly I wanted the
challenge because I'm like,because she was vegan, it just
made sense if we were going tobe living together.
So I just tried it andimmediately my body was like,
(31:25):
yes, like it just felt better,stronger, lighter like not
weight wise, but like lighter inmy body.
You know I was able to movemore.
So I think I had like some kindof a dairy thing as well that I
didn't realize.
So my body just works better ona vegan diet, and that is not
the case for everyone.
Some bodies love a high fat,high meat diet, and that is okay
(31:45):
.
Some bodies love low carb highcarb, I should or low sugar,
whatever.
Like I think listening to ourbodies is key and I wouldn't
have known that had I not triedit, you know.
So, yeah, I just kind of did itand I love it and I love
cooking this way.
It's not necessarily healthier.
(32:08):
I think healthy is aninteresting construct.
I think it's just for me, itjust feels good and it's fun and
I like it.
Yeah, I know it's not healthierbecause I was going to a vegan
restaurant like near me for awhile this is many years ago and
I'm like, oh God, this is so.
Lainie (32:25):
I was eating these sandwiches that were so healthy
and that, and salads with them Idon't know Cashews, I like
ended up gaining eight pounds,it was.
I mean, it was like I, it was,my goal was not, at that time,
like all about my health, it wasliterally just a aesthetic vein
.
I want to write an article andI'm like, oh my God, it's doing
(32:47):
just the opposite.
Alexis Hillyard (32:48):
I know there are there's definitely some very
unhealthy vegans like I meanlike okay my sister went vegan a
long time ago and she had donea lot of research.
But then there were days where,say, she was traveling and she
was like what the heck?
And so sometimes you would havea bag of chips and half a
(33:10):
bottle of wine and that was herdinner.
You know what it's like thereare lots of unhealthy ways to be
vegan and there's lots ofunhealthy ways to be a lot of
things and healthy ways so, butI do think the idea of like
Natty's is like she's like she'slike I'm not a vegan.
Lainie (33:22):
I do think the idea of like not eating as much
processed food, the glutencertainly with as many if you're
not cooked like you and you'relike me, like there's so many
things now that you know pizza,everything gluten free that you
know, for the inflammation, forpeople with shark and retooth,
like still and I and any alltypes of neuromuscular
(33:46):
conditions having lessinflammation in general.
Good, so Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yeah, yeah, and I think I think just the social
aspect of being in the kitchenand preparing a meal with
someone that you can connectover that experience and have a
conversation, and especially mom, you know, I think as our kids
get older there's like less andless activities that they're
they may be excited to partakein.
But I know my, my 15 year oldson still is like whenever food
(34:16):
is involved, he's like usuallyyes, so if I can get him to hang
out with me for a little whilepreparing a meal, I think that's
powerful and food is such astrong connector, totally great.
Alexis Hillyard (34:27):
Yeah, that's, you hit on a really good point
and I think that's somethingthat I found by accident through
my show, because I wasn'treally cooking before it.
Oh, I hear my toddler justyelling.
My toddler, who's three, lovesto cook as well.
So, yeah, like finding byaccident through my show that
like, oh, cooking together issuch a great point of community
(34:47):
and connection and you have thisgreat task that you're doing
together and it has a beginningand an end and it just feels, I
don't know, really great.
Lainie (34:55):
So, in terms of the tasks like kitchen tasks, yeah,
are there any adaptive toolsthat you use that are listeners?
You know that you wouldrecommend, like?
I know that there's, like theserolling knives and other tools,
you know, kind of marketed topeople with one handed use.
(35:16):
Yeah, and not necessarily limbdifferences, but in general we
have hand neuropathy.
So, you know, are the toolsthat you love and you would say,
if you're a cook, you need thisin your kitchen.
Yes, Okay.
Alexis Hillyard (35:32):
so the first one is sharp knives.
Keep your knives sharp, likewe're talking so sharp that if
you get cut you don't feel itlike like chef quality sharp and
you don't need expensive knives, you just need any knife and
you just take it to your localknife shop or a lot of like like
other shops will do this tooLike just a sharpening, like a
(35:53):
knife sharpening.
Like just a sharpening, like aknife sharpening.
Get them sharp and then tellyour family that you sharpen
your knives.
Like make sure everybody knowsthe knives are sharp now because
everybody is used to dullknives.
But dull knives are verydangerous because they don't go
where you want them to go, sothey're unpredictable.
They'll try to cut through anapple or a tomato and they'll
(36:14):
slip and that's how you getinjured.
A sharp knife will go exactlywhere you want it to go and it
will be very easy.
There'll be no, no resistanceas you're cutting.
So for me, somebody who has alimited ability to keep
something steady on a cuttingboard, having a sharp knife is
like necessary.
So it sounds scary, but it'sactually much safer and it's
(36:34):
just about how you hold them andyou don't put them in the sink
or the, you know, just like washthem and put them away.
Okay, and I have a lots ofvideos about not necessarily
knife skills, but I'm showinghow to hold and use a knife when
you're cutting an onion orcutting garlic, with that safety
in mind.
So there's stuff on my channelpeople can watch.
The other thing is underneathyour cutting board.
(36:57):
If you, if you have a slipperycutting board, just put a damp
cloth or a damp tea towel underyour cutting board and it
prevents it from sliding.
That's good wine.
Yeah, like for me, as a personwith a limb difference, I use my
weight quite a bit as opposed,because I don't have a grip to
hold a vegetable or a fruit, Ineed to push down and that's how
I keep it steady.
So from pushing down and thecutting board slips out, that's
(37:20):
extremely dangerous.
So putting that wet matunderneath not wet but just
slightly damp Really helpsprevent that slippage.
So those two things.
Then the last thing I'll say isI think, well, there's two more
things.
One, I love to cook with agarbage bowl right next to me,
(37:40):
because you know, if you have agarbage that like has to open,
like this, it's a really trickyto or like any kind of like
garbage underneath the thing.
If you have just one hand, it'shard to like get into the
garbage and throw things out asyou're cooking.
So I just have a garbage bowlor compost right there that I
can just put my food waste inand not have to worry about it,
(38:01):
to kind of keep my area clean.
And then the last thing is um,I have a.
I don't really have any adaptivetools other than there's a
certain can opener, I think it'slike by star for it, it's
called the little beaver andit's just the way that it is.
It's not.
It's not necessarily for likePeople with limb differences or
whatever, but it's just easierto do.
(38:21):
So you just snap it on and youhold it and then I can kind of
turn the dials using my fingerin my stump as as opposed to
having to hold them in my stumpelbow crook and do it like that
because I can get very slippery.
So there's just, um, yeah,things with bigger handholds and
stuff like that, but definitelythe knives in the cutting board
, has made my cooking journey soso much better.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Yeah, it's those little tweaks that make the
difference between like oh Tolike mentally exhausted, even,
yeah, not cooking, becausethat's, you know, a lot of times
it's like.
You know, I know it's CMT.
We're dealing with fatigue,we're dealing with loss of
balance and hand weakness and,yeah, ending down and putting
things in the oven and, you know, making sure we burn ourselves,
(39:07):
making sure we don't cutourselves.
There's a lot mentally andphysically involved in preparing
a meal.
So I love that.
Anything that we can do to kindof make that process a little
easier and less mean, likedoor-dash.
Lainie (39:20):
That makes it a lot easier, honestly.
That's true, that's a yes, butyou know, obviously we're just
expensive, Um, yes, whatever,but um, yeah, that doesn't
really stop me, but um, butthere's also like some great you
know getting back to like thegluten-free and the healthy
eating and just, even if you'renot interested like I'm not
(39:43):
interested in eliminating allcheese, regular, you know like a
lot of those meal delivery, um,especially if people who are
listening or live it alone, youknow those meal delivery,
healthy meal services that arevegetarian or gluten-free,
(40:03):
customize it to diet.
You know, get the ingredientsalready cut.
You get the ingredients alreadyprepped in little baggies and
yeah, to me, you know that wouldbe cooking, like that would be
making a meal.
You feel a sense ofaccomplishment at the end that
you've put it all together andabsolutely.
Alexis Hillyard (40:26):
Yeah, and I think those are great for that
exact reason, absolutely.
And and and I do love howsometimes, like grocery stores
have like Butternut squashalready cut in cube for you,
because, like, who the heck isgonna cut a butternut squash?
Not me, like that, no, thankyou.
And so like to have thataccessible can make, make or
break your dinner, you know.
(40:47):
So that's a really really goodpoint.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
And now now with like air fryer's.
Like I'm so excited to have anair fryer because I feel like
it's just so much moreaccessible than like, like using
an oven and hot trays yeah,more clean up.
So for me that's been a moreaccessible appliance, just
having an air fryer and beingable to, like do more with that.
Lainie (41:10):
Yes, I'm sitting here looking at my air fryer.
It's so sparkly and Howard, myhusband, jokes that it could
store some shoes.
Pair shoes were thinking aboutlike other uses.
Yeah, I get it that, your fryer.
The idea of it is amazingbecause it's for those people
who are unhealthy eaters.
(41:31):
Or Frozen eater box.
You can take those you knowfries that are in frozen and
apparently it makes some tastebetter and Like I got one.
Alexis Hillyard (41:42):
I've heard so much good things and I that
would be great if we had moreroom in the house.
I'm sure I'd have all the tools.
We don't have much room but I'mglad that they work.
I will try one one day, I'msure.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Well, we are so grateful that you took the time
to to share a little bit aboutyou know, the the amazing work
that you're doing, to shareabout your journey and and
living with the limb differenceand sharing your perspective and
just shining a bright and Funright on disability and bringing
more joy into the world andbringing more Awareness that we
(42:16):
definitely want everybody tocheck out.
Lainie (42:18):
Yeah, I'm sorry to interrupt but like, really the
big takeaways from today is Iyou know I get people all the
time who are, you know, debatingabout showing their leg braces
and you know, as listeners manylisteners know I don't choose
that but, like, if you'resomeone who, like, would feel
better, you know, doing that,like, take this as an example,
(42:39):
like you can make Anything yoursuperpower, like, do do it up.
Like, if you have a prostheticleg and want to have Tattoo
covered or show your personality, and you can't find yourself
like you can do that.
It's all about choice and it ishide from others, like it
internally weighs on us.
(43:00):
So I'm not saying that everyoneneeds to go and show their leg
braces or things that they'reuncomfortable with.
But if in your head it'ssomething that you're like you
know what I I just, if I justshow them, then they'll be over
it.
Like if I just show it, peoplesee it that the you know.
It's like the mystery is goneand then it's like I can just go
(43:21):
about just living my life.
So I think that's a bigtakeaway too, yeah, yeah.
Alexis Hillyard (43:28):
Or even if you're just like yeah, yeah, or
even just maybe you don't wantto show your braces, and that's
totally fair, but if you seesomebody else showing theirs,
that just gives you a little bitmore spaciousness of being like
okay, I see that Well, I'm notyet.
That's cool, you know.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Yeah, well, permission to to think about
that and to really takeinventory on how much that
weighs on you.
How much energy are you puttinginto hiding that part of you
that you don't want to see,versus how much energy Could you
say, potentially by justshowing that and maybe initially
being scared and nervous aboutthose interactions at first, but
(44:07):
it's true.
So you, you might be a lot morecomfortable in 90 degree
weather, wearing shorts, youknow, and showing your leg
braces, then having to worryabout, like, hiding that.
So it's really, and it goes fora cane a walker, exactly, you
know, like, like Having those.
Lainie (44:26):
You know you, if you, if it's an accessory that you
carry, you know you could makeit your own and it'll feel like
better for you because you'reshowing your personality to
others and, um, yeah, so blingout those canes if you want to.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Yes, think your stumps being your leg braces,
beats whatever it is you want.
Lainie (44:49):
Yeah, if you got a big mole on your face, text you
around it, you do it, you do you.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I love it Well.
Thank you so much, alexis.
It's been such a pleasure.
This was lovely.
Yes, we are gonna Click yourlinks in the show notes, but can
you tell everybody where theycan find your amazing content?
Alexis Hillyard (45:09):
Yeah, so if you just search, stump kitchen on
YouTube, instagram um TikTok andtwitter that those are the best
places.
Lainie (45:20):
Oh yeah amazing, so nice to meet you.
You're having another followernow on your channel, so very
cool.
Thank you so much for what youdo and, um, yeah, it's very cool
.
Alexis Hillyard (45:33):
Thank you.
Thanks for having theconversations.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Thank you, bye, everyone.
Bye, hey, embracers.
Thank you so much for listeningand supporting the embrace it
podcast brought to you bylaunchpad 516 studios Executive,
produced by george andriabalusand hosted by lanie ishpia and
distella we go.
Our music and sound effects arelicensed through epidemic sound
(45:56):
Embrace.
Lainie (45:57):
It is hosted with bus sprout, do you have a disability
related topic You'd love for usto feature, or could someone
you know be a fabulous guest onour show?
We would love to hear yourcomments and feature them on our
next podcast.
So leave us a voicemail, or youcan even send us a text to 631
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Speaker 1 (46:19):
Make sure to subscribe to this feed wherever
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Follow us at embrace itunderscore podcast on instagram
and make sure to follow all thegreat podcasts produced by
launchpad 516 studios.
Lainie (46:35):
We hope you join us next time and continue to embrace it
.
Welcome to the Embrace-It series, where women
with all types of disabilitiescan be real, resourceful and
stylish.
With each episode, you'll walkor roll away with everyday tips,
life hacks and success storiesfrom community leaders and
influencers.
So take off your leg braces andstay awhile with Lainey and
Estella.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Hi, I'm Lainey and I have CMT.
I'm a neuro-muscular disorderaffecting approximately 2.6
million people worldwide.
Lainie (00:36):
That's as many as MS.
We believe disabilities shouldnever get in the way of looking
or feeling good.
Both of us wear leg braces andhave learned through our own
personal journeys to embrace it.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Brought to you by Launchpad 516 Studios.
Each episode is designed tochallenge your own stigmas and
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We want our listeners to getthe most value for their time
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Through storytelling, personalexperiences and tips, we're all
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Lainie (01:09):
For more information and exclusive resources, check out
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Speaker 1 (01:31):
Welcome everyone to another episode of the Embracing
Podcast with Lainey and Estella.
Hey Lainey, hi Estella, hieveryone.
Hey, we are back with anotherepisode and this time we have a
amazing self-taught chef.
Her name is Alexis Ilyard.
Not only is she a self-taughtchef, she is an incredible
(01:56):
disability advocate living witha limb difference.
She is an amazing and funcontent creator, which we'll be
diving into a little bit more.
She's from Canada, alberta,canada, and we're so excited to
be welcoming you today, alexis.
Thanks for joining us.
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Alexis Hillyard (02:15):
I'm thrilled to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Yes, we have been following your videos for quite
a while and I find myselfcracking up out loud when I see
some of the stuff and the videosthat you are putting out there
and just bringing so much joybut also, at the same time, some
awareness.
But before we talk about that,let's get started a little bit
(02:39):
about living with a limbdifference.
This is a topic that we havenot yet covered and we're so
excited to hear about yourjourney and your experience.
So maybe take us back a littlebit about how you grew up living
with a limb difference.
What was that like for youpersonally?
Yeah, totally.
Alexis Hillyard (02:58):
Well, I guess it started off when I was born
and my parents.
It didn't show up on theultrasound.
So my parents were surprised,everybody was surprised, and I
guess my birth was a little bittraumatic because the doctors,
as soon as they noticed, theywhisked me away and they did a
bunch of tests just to see whatwas quote unquote wrong with me.
(03:23):
So my poor mom, I had beenwhisked away.
She didn't get to hold me rightaway and my dad eventually went
with them and was like you knowwhat?
She's fine, she's just likemissing a hand because they were
doing all these tests and stuff.
And he had some background intraining in psychology and
(03:43):
babies and stuff.
So he was like she's okay.
But you know, so after thatinitial trauma, things were
great and my parents they, mydad especially they tried to do
a bunch of stuff for me as I wasa baby growing up.
They thought, oh no, she's notgoing to be able to crawl or
maybe she won't be able to holda bottle or maybe she won't use
(04:07):
her arm, you know.
And so they would.
You know, they put prostheticson me by recommendation of the
doctors, and stuff which Ididn't like.
It was kind of like putting aT-shirt on a cat.
They just sit there and thenthey fall off the couch.
You know, I just kind of satthere like a lump a lot and I
remember.
I remember the feeling of themand they were like you know, I
(04:27):
didn't really want or need themwhen I was 18 months old, you
know, but my dad used to, like Ihad a mobile over my crib and
he would tie a string from themobile to my left arm, which is
where I have my limb difference,and I call my arm my stump.
Not everyone likes that word.
I love the word it's.
You know, language is personal,so that's what I used to
(04:49):
describe it.
And so he did that so that Iwould realize that I had an arm
that I could control the worldwith and stuff.
But I so it was very lovelywhat they did, but it wasn't
necessary because I ended upusing it so much.
Like on my first birthday.
There's a video of me eating mycake and I'm eating icing with
(05:10):
my finger and then I'm eatingicing with my stump.
So I'm actively using both armsall the time and I think for
the most part that's, you know,a lot of people's experience
when they're born with acongenital limb difference, like
like I was, but of course thatthat depends.
And then growing up I I didn'thave too many issues with
bullying.
(05:30):
I had a few, but not too bad,and just people staring and lots
of questions.
And then the way that my familyprepared me for school was
really lovely.
We would my sister and my momand I we'd play school before I
went to kindergarten and theywould be other students or maybe
the teacher, and they wouldpractice by like asking
questions like hey, whathappened to your hand?
(05:52):
Or why do you look like that,or whatever, and then I could
rehearse how to answer that sothat when I went into school I
didn't feel overwhelmed withthese questions and I could
answer them confidently and Ihad a good like lexicon and
weight to describe my body.
So that was really reallylovely.
And then I don't think I everhad anything physically that I I
(06:12):
you know couldn't necessarilydo Like.
I always found ways to adapt.
But there were definitely somefrustrations in my life, like
learning to tie shoes.
I was really angry about that,but my dad sat with me and
showed me how and I eventuallyfound a way to tie my shoes
using my teeth and I did thatfor about three years in
elementary school and then Ilearned how to do it using just
(06:34):
my stump in my hand.
And then I think there was justone time in junior high where I
saw a video of myself dancingand I was in a trio of.
I was I danced for a lot of mychildhood and I was watching
this trio and I was in themiddle of these two other
dancers and I realized, probablyfor the first time really, how
(06:55):
different I looked from them andI just broke down, I just wept
in my mom's arms and I was like,why do I look so different?
Why?
Why blah, blah, blah?
Like because I think I realizedfor the first time that if in
one other people see me and theylook at my body and how
different I am, that they mightthink thoughts that I can't
(07:15):
control.
They might think that I'mincapable, that my parents took
a lot of drugs when they werepregnant with me, that I can't
do certain things or that it'sscary, like just so many things.
I realized that people can andwould probably assume about me
and that just made me feel souncomfortable.
(07:37):
But after just being with mymom and just crying and her just
letting me be.
I just like got to the otherside and I was like you know
what?
Oh well, I love who I am and myfamily does and my friends do,
and so I just kind of got to theother side of that dark part of
childhood, I guess.
(07:57):
So, yeah, that was kind of my.
And then, like I have lots offun prosthetic stories and I can
tell as well, but that's kindof how my life was going.
Lainie (08:06):
We love prosthetic stories, so I have a quick
question for you, just out ofcuriosity.
I years ago, when I firstlaunched Trendable I, a local
nonprofit.
Lucky Finn, are you familiarwith them?
Alexis Hillyard (08:23):
Yeah, I'm actually one of the Canadian
ambassadors for Lucky Finn.
Lainie (08:28):
Oh, yeah, she's great.
Had coffee with her.
She lives down the street fromme but I'm like literally
forgetting her first name.
Who started it?
Yeah, molly, I love her, she'sso cute.
And when we were first talking,I remember and I'm not quoting
her, but I got the impressionthat she it's her child who has
(08:49):
the limb difference, that sheassociated disability with limb
differences.
Like again, I might I'm notquoting her but for her it was
just, like you know, she's morefocused on, like you know, body
differences, but not necessarilyidentifying, as you know, her
child has a disability.
Do you find that, like I knowfor you, like how, what do you
(09:14):
think about that?
Is that?
Do you identify as having adisability?
Alexis Hillyard (09:19):
Yeah, identify as a disabled woman, and I think
there's a couple of thingsabout that.
I think that language and wordsare very personal and they're
very important and so, howeverpeople want to use those words
for themselves is great, that'simportant for the queer
community, that's important forthe disabled community, that's
important for racialized peopleit's very important, and so
(09:40):
everyone has their own uniquejourney.
But there's a couple of thingsthat I think are happening in
general around disability.
I think that there's still asense that to be called disabled
is bad, because there's a sensein society that to have a
disability that is like that'snot wanted, that's less than
that's scary, that means likejust a lot of negative stuff
(10:02):
around that word and thatconstruct and that comes from so
many like such a history oflike eugenics and just yucky bad
stuff from colonialism andstuff.
But so that's interesting thata lot of people shy away from
the word, especially parents.
For their kids they say, oh,she's differently abled, oh,
(10:25):
she's super abled, like, oh, youknow, my kid is like it's just
not a thing that they want touse for a lot of those reasons,
and that's fair.
However, I think on the flipside, there's a lot of power in
the word disability in manycontexts that people can use to
talk about the ways in whichsociety and people's mentalities
(10:45):
actually do serve to disablepeople who have non-normative
bodies and mental states, andthat is important.
So using it to look at like howthe world is actually
structured to literally disablepeople who don't have the
typical able bodied white male,you know, presence or any
(11:10):
variation of that.
So it's so for me I did.
I wasn't sure at first when Ifirst went into this work and as
a child I never heard the worddisability related to me as a
child and I never really used itfor myself because I didn't
really know much about it, but Idid know that it was like.
You know it had some negativeconnotations based on just
(11:32):
looking at the world around you.
But as an adult and doing thiscontent creation work and
meeting other disabled creatorsonline and realizing that it's
actually a point of power andthere's such beauty in disabled
identities and learning fromother people how a disabled
person navigates the world,there's so much strength and
power.
So for me, talking to otherdisabled mothers, you know we
(11:56):
and especially particularly withlimb differences or folks using
wheelchairs you know sharingstories about how other people
will look at you and sometimeswonder if you're able to take
care of your child.
Like I've got a friend who has alimb difference and literally
somebody in a mall took her babyaway from her as she was trying
to help dress with her baby orsomething, and was like you need
(12:18):
help.
Let me help you with this.
Like, can you imagine a motherwith a under one year old child,
a stranger, picking up thatchild from you, to be like you
need help?
Like that is so terrifying.
That's a lived reality fordisabled parents everywhere.
And so using you know, usingthat as a talking point, I think
(12:39):
it's really extremely important.
And like, and the question is,why did that person do that?
It's because they sawdisability and they assumed lack
, they assumed bad, they assumedunequipped, unable.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
And so.
Alexis Hillyard (12:52):
I use the word disability and I talk about that
and I am who I am and put mybody out there to be like no,
that's not the story, that Iwant to start breaking that
narrative.
So yeah, it's a big and deepconversation.
So I'm glad you asked thequestion and I understand why
some people do shy away from it,but I don't think you have to.
I think it's OK to lean into it.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
And I think what you're doing really gives people
the permission to do that.
And when you're kind ofrebranding disability and really
showing people how you workaround a limb difference, how
you're able to do amazing thingsin the kitchen, I think the
reason I found you was throughyour channel, Stump Kitchen, and
(13:36):
you have dozens and dozens anddozens of videos here in all
different areas.
Whether you have conversationswith other advocates with limb
difference or you're showing howto make gluten-free recipes in
the kitchen.
I think it's something thatagain revealing, pushing away
that curtain of what peopledon't see when it comes to
(13:58):
disability, Like how we dothings in the world, how we're
able to function, how we're ableto prepare a meal for our
family.
I think all of those justreally helps people visualize
and understand the capability ofsomething with any type of
disability and how we're able toadapt and work around that.
(14:19):
Can you talk a little bit abouthow Stump Kitchen was born and
how your love for cooking andpreparing healthy food and all
of that came about?
Alexis Hillyard (14:30):
Yeah, so it came about seven years ago maybe
, and it really just came from I.
I made the decision to do tobecome a vegan as after being a
vegetarian and at around thesame time I also was diagnosed
with a gluten intolerance.
So at the same time I had avery swift and big diet change
(14:51):
and I was terrified because Iwas like I don't really know how
to cook and this is not an easydiet to just, like you know,
prepare for or buy for.
So I just had to kind of getcooking for myself and learning
how.
So really it was you know myown personal process of like
slowly learning vegan,gluten-free recipes and my
(15:12):
partner realizing and myselfalso realizing, like holy crap,
like I actually really enjoycooking.
Like I would go slow, I wouldtry different ingredients, I
would automatically use my stuffas a tool, so to like mash
potatoes or to get batter out ofa bowl.
And my partner was like that isso amazing how you use your
body in the kitchen, like youshould film this, and I was like
(15:34):
, oh, all right, let's try it.
So she helped me film my firstepisode and then I learned, I
taught myself how to edit.
I think it took me like 10hours to edit my first episode,
because I didn't know what I wasdoing oh my gosh, so funny.
And then I put it out there forliterally just for fun and joy,
because it made me feel sojoyful to watch myself have so
(15:55):
much fun.
And then and then after time, Irealized I was getting more and
more comments from people andparents and and folks like me
and with kids like me and andother disabilities, whatever.
Just being like this is amazing,whoa, my kid wants to cook with
you, or like we're trying yourcooking technique and this and
that or like.
And then I slowly, slowlyrealized, after I committed to
(16:17):
making a video, you know a week,or trying to anyway, I realized
that this was more, less aboutjust me having fun and more
important for other people andquite literally being a point of
representation, just like whatyou were talking about earlier,
how you know, opening thatwindow into different ways of
doing things so other people canbe like.
Oh, I see that representationis so important because we don't
(16:40):
get that there's not enough ofthat of of folks that fall
outside the quote unquote normand that representation gives
folks, you know, like me.
When I was a kid growing up, Ididn't see anyone like me on the
, on the news or in the media orwhatever.
But when I did meet someonelike me, it was like amazing.
Lainie (16:59):
First of all, you have so many followers.
We'll talk about that.
But you also like and we wantto definitely get to like the
gluten part of what of yourstory and and talk about maybe
for other people, you know,because gluten free everything
is is trending matches forpeople who have a gluten
intolerance, who's a necessity,but in general, the health
(17:20):
benefits are.
It's um, but your posts are sofunny, as Estella mentioned, and
thank you a lot of them.
Like you know, you're makingfun of yourself.
You know, in a way that's notself-deprecating, but this truly
like connecting people andsaying like look, I just do it
differently.
Um, you know, and Estella and Italk all the time about using
(17:41):
humor just so that others notjust others with disabilities,
but others in the world you knowit's the common denominator.
So like do you?
absolutely yeah, but there's afine line, you know, between
self-deprecating humor and youknow like here.
You know you are different.
You're calling you as you said.
(18:04):
You're comfortable with theterminology of stump where other
people find that it to beinsulting.
You know how do you like.
I mean, have you gotten, like,any negative things from people?
Um, as you've done, your postsand all your videos um, honestly
, no, I haven't had a lot ofnegativity.
Alexis Hillyard (18:22):
Um, I had one person who was also an amputee
um, I don't know if she wascongenital or or if she lost her
mind later on in life onlinesaying that she found, like she
told me directly online, likethat she thought the word stump
was offensive and I was like,yeah, I get that at first.
Okay, at first I was like, ohcrap, like I've messed up, like
(18:43):
I've offended all amputees, ohmy gosh.
Then I thought about it and Ilooked and I was like actually a
lot of people call them, calltheir body, their stumps, and
and and I have another friendwho, um, was born missing most
of her arm and she's got alittle portion of her arm and
she calls it her residual limb.
And I've had medicalprofessionals talk to me about
(19:05):
my arm, like calling it aresidual limb, and I just I
cannot handle that word, I don'tknow why, I just don't like it.
Maybe it's too medical, I'm notsure.
And my friend loves it.
And so then I was like,actually, that's okay, like I,
if you're offended by it, that'sfine, you just don't use it and
I can, and that's, that's,that's life, baby.
Um, so I realized not to takeit personally and it was okay
(19:29):
and it was just one person, soI'm sure other people think it's
yeah, no.
Lainie (19:31):
I'm like referring to like you do these cute, um, you
guys, we, we want you and we'regonna put all the info in the
show notes to definitely checkout um stump kitchen on
Instagram and everywhere else.
But, um, like you know, youdraw little faces on your stuff
with little ears and littlewhatever, and I would imagine
that for some people they'relike that's the first time I've
(19:53):
ever seen someone like doingsomething like that where
they're truly making fun ofthemselves, but in a in a way
that is like great and andpositive and not a negative, you
know thing.
It's like look like it is whatit is.
I'm not gonna be stumped likehere is my stump and it's not,
(20:14):
it's like full on costumecosplay.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I mean it's like it's .
Yeah, it's amazing.
I here's.
Alexis Hillyard (20:22):
Here's why I I don't actually think it's making
fun, I actually think it's aform of beautiful
self-expression that I've beendoing since I was about four or
five years old.
So my sister is two and a halfyears younger than me, and when
she was um about two, one and ahalf two, she really started
playing with my arm like alittle character.
So she was the first personthat saw this arm as a character
(20:44):
, without me doing anything.
She saw it as like someone witha little nose or a little ear
and she would start interactingwith my arm and calling it like
bebe.
She was trying to say baby handand she said bebe.
So the the name bebe stuck andso bebe has been bebe since I
was four years old.
So from that initial love, shewould play with bebe, she would
(21:06):
chew on bebe, she would likelaugh.
Then I started putting onlittle shows for her.
I would turn bebe into acharacter and then soon my right
hand was named biggie.
Biggie came into the picture.
Biggie was the bad guy, bebewas the good guy.
I would put on skits.
Sometimes we'd have costumes.
She would laugh.
My mom used to joke and say youknow, I swear my children have
(21:27):
toys, they don't have to playwith their arms, you know, but
like we loved it.
And so from the very beginning,this arm, bebe, has always been
a part of me in in terms of,like, their own personality.
So it's always been like thisactive, this active love and
creativity that came from her.
So now, as I, as I do thesecosplays, I don't think I'd ever
(21:51):
really call it something likemaking fun.
I would say it's like this formof self-expression that is using
a beautiful and unique part ofme to show the world a type of
art that no one's really everseen before.
And the emotional chords that Iam able to hit with people is
incredible.
Like I recently did like BobRoss and you know he's passed
(22:13):
away, and so a lot of peoplewere very emotionally driven by
that I did the worm from themovie the Labyrinth.
That had over 10 million viewsacross all platforms, because
people are just so likeconnected to these characters,
and so then to see thosecharacters that they've loved
since they were little, on anarm, on a stump I don't know,
there's something emotionalabout it, oh and you know what
(22:34):
it's like.
Lainie (22:35):
You are.
Clearly you are an artist.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 6 (22:51):
This is George, fred and Jason, the co-leaders of
Speak, interrupting to say thatwe hope you're enjoying this
episode, but please make sure tocheck out our new show, the
Speak Podcast, another greatshow produced by Launchpad 516
Studios.
New episodes available everyweek on all of your favorite
podcast platforms.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
Each Speak Talk is about six to ten minutes in
length, and the talks are givenin storytelling format.
There are three key moments ineach Speak Talk the moment of
truth, the moment oftransformation and the moment of
impact.
We host pop-up events all overthe world, and now we're
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Speaker 6 (23:31):
Join us on the Speak Podcast as our speakers step
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We'll let you get back to the show you were
listening to Another greatpodcast from Launchpad 516
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You're tuning in to embrace itwith Laini Anastella, brought to
you by Launchpad 516 Studios.
Lainie (23:57):
I'm just thinking of people who maybe don't have limb
differences but have otherdisabilities where they're
covering hiding scars.
Don't want people to see it,and you're doing the exact
opposite.
You're using your disabled armas a form of expression that's
(24:24):
your own Totally amazing.
Alexis Hillyard (24:28):
And I think in that case, what I've noticed is
the amount of comments that Iget and messages in my inbox.
I can't really keep up withthem, which is both a blessing
and a curse.
It's wonderful, but it's alsohard.
I want to talk to everyone, butI will have parents reach out
and people reach out.
I had a person say I think hewas 16, from the States I don't
(24:49):
hide my arm anymore because ofyou and I'm just like, oh man,
and this 16-year-old dude, sogreat.
And then parents of kidssending me pictures of their
little ones with their arms justpainted.
They've just painted them, look, look.
And so they're celebratingthemselves in these new ways.
It's almost like not like Ineed to give anyone permission
(25:12):
for this stuff, but it's likeI've opened a gateway for them
to be like there's more joy hereand I'm allowed to access it,
and so I think it's like,regardless of who you are, what
disability you have, or ifyou're a non-disabled person, I
think it's like opening up thatdoor, giving a little permission
to be like yeah, there's moreto my body and I can celebrate
(25:33):
it in these ways, regardless ofyour disability status, because
the majority of my audience arenon-disabled people.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, you're literally taking something that
a lot of people say don't lookhere, and you're turning it
around and saying who's here,look, let's play.
This is not a tragedy, this issomething positive, this is
something we can all connect on,and just that's such a great
way to put it, estella.
Alexis Hillyard (26:01):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, because most of society
is like you know, don't looklike.
There's still cultures andcountries and places, even in
Canada, where people believe ifyou have a disabled child, don't
take them outside, like that'sa curse.
That's not.
People should not see that.
Can you believe that?
Excuse me?
So absolutely, yeah, look here,this is okay.
(26:22):
So, yeah, that's a good way toput it.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
And I mean speaking about the conversations that
you're encouraging with yourcontent.
I know you have a few otherpeople that make these videos
with you and you have theseconversations that I think are
really important, because Ithink that's one of the
foundations for our podcast isnot everybody has that person in
their life that can relate oris also disabled or has a
similar disability that they canhave these connective
(26:48):
conversations with.
So tell us a little bit aboutthe conversations you have on
your YouTube channel with otherindividuals with limb
differences.
What are those conversationslike?
What are you trying to bringwith some of the questions that
you're asking there?
Alexis Hillyard (27:04):
Well, I think probably some of the most
impactful like relationshipsI've had through the show are
with the children that I workwith.
I mean some great adults too,of course, but the first time I
met Callie, I met her when shewas eight and she's 15 now and
she Her mom found me throughFacebook and was like, oh my
gosh, wow, let's see, you shouldgo with my kid.
(27:24):
I'm like, okay, let's do it.
And she came over and it waswinter and she came inside.
She had a big coat on and Ijust looked at her and I was
like, oh, winter coat zippers,am I right?
And she was like, yeah, theystuck.
I hate doing all my zipper.
I'm like, yeah, me too.
And we just got each otherimmediately.
And from then on it was likethis you know, I don't know, the
(27:47):
wall was broken down and wewere able to connect in ways
that even our parents couldn'tconnect with us, and my mom was
there too, and her mom, and sothey got to go meet and chat and
they're friends now, and sothen her and I got to go and
just play and relate to eachother in a way that most people
can't.
So I think to be able to capturethat on screen and to show
(28:10):
people that generational I'mmirroring.
I guess I don't know.
There's something powerfulabout that.
I think it's helped a lot ofpeople kind of grow into
themselves and for me it'shealed a lot of my inner child
like not like I had a lot ofhealing to do, I had a pretty
good childhood but it's it'sGiven my inner child that
representation that I would haveneeded and I think for her I
(28:32):
just been lucky enough to be theperson in her life to Like when
she has an issue with school,in relation to her limb
difference, or in her lifeshe'll just text me and be like,
what do you do about this?
And I'm like, yeah, let's talkabout that.
Like we just have that soundingboard.
So I think it all of my guestswith the disability or limb
difference or whatever thatrelational Like the way that
(28:55):
we're able to relate to eachother on just more quickly
perhaps than than other peopleis a really cool thing to be
able to capture and it's justenriched my life so much.
Lainie (29:05):
Let's move to the cooking part.
I mean, I don't know anythingabout cooking I literally don't
cook at all but I'm interestedin healthy eating and anything
that can maybe, you know, makeme help me to feel better with
my chronic illness anddisabilities and whatnot.
So you said that you startedout as vegetarian.
(29:27):
Now you're vegan and that youAre gluten free out of necessity
.
It's everywhere, you see.
Now everyone is like is itgluten free?
Is a good free?
Like I only buy gluten freecrackers because all my friends
come over.
They only everyone's glutenfree.
Talk to us.
I know you're not, you knowwe're not asking you to be the
(29:49):
expert of nutrition, but likewhat are what have you found to
be?
You know why?
Is it a beneficial lifestyle?
Alexis Hillyard (29:56):
so that they happen to separate for separate
reasons, so that the glutenintolerance came, you know, in
my adulthood and I was justexperiencing some Symptoms like
inflammation, gi stuff, and so Ijust I had a doctor do an
analysis and that's what cameout and a couple other small
food allergies, but but that wasthe main one, not celiac but an
(30:16):
intolerance.
So For me and I never had thisgrowing up I was able to eat
gluten fine.
But then I had a job at abakery for two years and I think
I just had too much and I thinkmy sister, what are you doing?
Stop.
So I think it just kind of, youknow, worked its way.
I'm not really sure, I don'tknow the science behind it, but
whatever.
So cutting that out reallyhelped with my own inflammation
(30:39):
and now if I do eat gluten, Ireally feel it.
So I just know that for me mybody just feels better without
it, although some we, dependingon how processed it is or isn't,
can be better than others.
So I think it has to do withhow we process, we in this
culture, but that's a wholeother conversation.
And then the vegan stuff on mypartner Allison.
(31:00):
So she was a vegan and this waslike close to when we started
dating and I was like I want tobe a vegan too.
Challenge, like I didn't, Ijust wanted to for, like for
ethical reasons too, of course,but mostly I wanted the
challenge because I'm like,because she was vegan, it just
made sense if we were going tobe living together.
So I just tried it andimmediately my body was like,
(31:25):
yes, like it just felt better,stronger, lighter like not
weight wise, but like lighter inmy body.
You know I was able to movemore.
So I think I had like some kindof a dairy thing as well that I
didn't realize.
So my body just works better ona vegan diet, and that is not
the case for everyone.
Some bodies love a high fat,high meat diet, and that is okay
(31:45):
.
Some bodies love low carb highcarb, I should or low sugar,
whatever.
Like I think listening to ourbodies is key and I wouldn't
have known that had I not triedit, you know.
So, yeah, I just kind of did itand I love it and I love
cooking this way.
It's not necessarily healthier.
(32:08):
I think healthy is aninteresting construct.
I think it's just for me, itjust feels good and it's fun and
I like it.
Yeah, I know it's not healthierbecause I was going to a vegan
restaurant like near me for awhile this is many years ago and
I'm like, oh God, this is so.
Lainie (32:25):
I was eating these sandwiches that were so healthy
and that, and salads with them Idon't know Cashews, I like
ended up gaining eight pounds,it was.
I mean, it was like I, it was,my goal was not, at that time,
like all about my health, it wasliterally just a aesthetic vein
.
I want to write an article andI'm like, oh my God, it's doing
(32:47):
just the opposite.
Alexis Hillyard (32:48):
I know there are there's definitely some very
unhealthy vegans like I meanlike okay my sister went vegan a
long time ago and she had donea lot of research.
But then there were days where,say, she was traveling and she
was like what the heck?
And so sometimes you would havea bag of chips and half a
(33:10):
bottle of wine and that was herdinner.
You know what it's like thereare lots of unhealthy ways to be
vegan and there's lots ofunhealthy ways to be a lot of
things and healthy ways so, butI do think the idea of like
Natty's is like she's like she'slike I'm not a vegan.
Lainie (33:22):
I do think the idea of like not eating as much
processed food, the glutencertainly with as many if you're
not cooked like you and you'relike me, like there's so many
things now that you know pizza,everything gluten free that you
know, for the inflammation, forpeople with shark and retooth,
like still and I and any alltypes of neuromuscular
(33:46):
conditions having lessinflammation in general.
Good, so Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yeah, yeah, and I think I think just the social
aspect of being in the kitchenand preparing a meal with
someone that you can connectover that experience and have a
conversation, and especially mom, you know, I think as our kids
get older there's like less andless activities that they're
they may be excited to partakein.
But I know my, my 15 year oldson still is like whenever food
(34:16):
is involved, he's like usuallyyes, so if I can get him to hang
out with me for a little whilepreparing a meal, I think that's
powerful and food is such astrong connector, totally great.
Alexis Hillyard (34:27):
Yeah, that's, you hit on a really good point
and I think that's somethingthat I found by accident through
my show, because I wasn'treally cooking before it.
Oh, I hear my toddler justyelling.
My toddler, who's three, lovesto cook as well.
So, yeah, like finding byaccident through my show that
like, oh, cooking together issuch a great point of community
(34:47):
and connection and you have thisgreat task that you're doing
together and it has a beginningand an end and it just feels, I
don't know, really great.
Lainie (34:55):
So, in terms of the tasks like kitchen tasks, yeah,
are there any adaptive toolsthat you use that are listeners?
You know that you wouldrecommend, like?
I know that there's, like theserolling knives and other tools,
you know, kind of marketed topeople with one handed use.
(35:16):
Yeah, and not necessarily limbdifferences, but in general we
have hand neuropathy.
So, you know, are the toolsthat you love and you would say,
if you're a cook, you need thisin your kitchen.
Yes, Okay.
Alexis Hillyard (35:32):
so the first one is sharp knives.
Keep your knives sharp, likewe're talking so sharp that if
you get cut you don't feel itlike like chef quality sharp and
you don't need expensive knives, you just need any knife and
you just take it to your localknife shop or a lot of like like
other shops will do this tooLike just a sharpening, like a
(35:53):
knife sharpening.
Like just a sharpening, like aknife sharpening.
Get them sharp and then tellyour family that you sharpen
your knives.
Like make sure everybody knowsthe knives are sharp now because
everybody is used to dullknives.
But dull knives are verydangerous because they don't go
where you want them to go, sothey're unpredictable.
They'll try to cut through anapple or a tomato and they'll
(36:14):
slip and that's how you getinjured.
A sharp knife will go exactlywhere you want it to go and it
will be very easy.
There'll be no, no resistanceas you're cutting.
So for me, somebody who has alimited ability to keep
something steady on a cuttingboard, having a sharp knife is
like necessary.
So it sounds scary, but it'sactually much safer and it's
(36:34):
just about how you hold them andyou don't put them in the sink
or the, you know, just like washthem and put them away.
Okay, and I have a lots ofvideos about not necessarily
knife skills, but I'm showinghow to hold and use a knife when
you're cutting an onion orcutting garlic, with that safety
in mind.
So there's stuff on my channelpeople can watch.
The other thing is underneathyour cutting board.
(36:57):
If you, if you have a slipperycutting board, just put a damp
cloth or a damp tea towel underyour cutting board and it
prevents it from sliding.
That's good wine.
Yeah, like for me, as a personwith a limb difference, I use my
weight quite a bit as opposed,because I don't have a grip to
hold a vegetable or a fruit, Ineed to push down and that's how
I keep it steady.
So from pushing down and thecutting board slips out, that's
(37:20):
extremely dangerous.
So putting that wet matunderneath not wet but just
slightly damp Really helpsprevent that slippage.
So those two things.
Then the last thing I'll say isI think, well, there's two more
things.
One, I love to cook with agarbage bowl right next to me,
(37:40):
because you know, if you have agarbage that like has to open,
like this, it's a really trickyto or like any kind of like
garbage underneath the thing.
If you have just one hand, it'shard to like get into the
garbage and throw things out asyou're cooking.
So I just have a garbage bowlor compost right there that I
can just put my food waste inand not have to worry about it,
(38:01):
to kind of keep my area clean.
And then the last thing is um,I have a.
I don't really have any adaptivetools other than there's a
certain can opener, I think it'slike by star for it, it's
called the little beaver andit's just the way that it is.
It's not.
It's not necessarily for likePeople with limb differences or
whatever, but it's just easierto do.
(38:21):
So you just snap it on and youhold it and then I can kind of
turn the dials using my fingerin my stump as as opposed to
having to hold them in my stumpelbow crook and do it like that
because I can get very slippery.
So there's just, um, yeah,things with bigger handholds and
stuff like that, but definitelythe knives in the cutting board
, has made my cooking journey soso much better.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Yeah, it's those little tweaks that make the
difference between like oh Tolike mentally exhausted, even,
yeah, not cooking, becausethat's, you know, a lot of times
it's like.
You know, I know it's CMT.
We're dealing with fatigue,we're dealing with loss of
balance and hand weakness and,yeah, ending down and putting
things in the oven and, you know, making sure we burn ourselves,
(39:07):
making sure we don't cutourselves.
There's a lot mentally andphysically involved in preparing
a meal.
So I love that.
Anything that we can do to kindof make that process a little
easier and less mean, likedoor-dash.
Lainie (39:20):
That makes it a lot easier, honestly.
That's true, that's a yes, butyou know, obviously we're just
expensive, Um, yes, whatever,but um, yeah, that doesn't
really stop me, but um, butthere's also like some great you
know getting back to like thegluten-free and the healthy
eating and just, even if you'renot interested like I'm not
(39:43):
interested in eliminating allcheese, regular, you know like a
lot of those meal delivery, um,especially if people who are
listening or live it alone, youknow those meal delivery,
healthy meal services that arevegetarian or gluten-free,
(40:03):
customize it to diet.
You know, get the ingredientsalready cut.
You get the ingredients alreadyprepped in little baggies and
yeah, to me, you know that wouldbe cooking, like that would be
making a meal.
You feel a sense ofaccomplishment at the end that
you've put it all together andabsolutely.
Alexis Hillyard (40:26):
Yeah, and I think those are great for that
exact reason, absolutely.
And and and I do love howsometimes, like grocery stores
have like Butternut squashalready cut in cube for you,
because, like, who the heck isgonna cut a butternut squash?
Not me, like that, no, thankyou.
And so like to have thataccessible can make, make or
break your dinner, you know.
(40:47):
So that's a really really goodpoint.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
And now now with like air fryer's.
Like I'm so excited to have anair fryer because I feel like
it's just so much moreaccessible than like, like using
an oven and hot trays yeah,more clean up.
So for me that's been a moreaccessible appliance, just
having an air fryer and beingable to, like do more with that.
Lainie (41:10):
Yes, I'm sitting here looking at my air fryer.
It's so sparkly and Howard, myhusband, jokes that it could
store some shoes.
Pair shoes were thinking aboutlike other uses.
Yeah, I get it that, your fryer.
The idea of it is amazingbecause it's for those people
who are unhealthy eaters.
(41:31):
Or Frozen eater box.
You can take those you knowfries that are in frozen and
apparently it makes some tastebetter and Like I got one.
Alexis Hillyard (41:42):
I've heard so much good things and I that
would be great if we had moreroom in the house.
I'm sure I'd have all the tools.
We don't have much room but I'mglad that they work.
I will try one one day, I'msure.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Well, we are so grateful that you took the time
to to share a little bit aboutyou know, the the amazing work
that you're doing, to shareabout your journey and and
living with the limb differenceand sharing your perspective and
just shining a bright and Funright on disability and bringing
more joy into the world andbringing more Awareness that we
(42:16):
definitely want everybody tocheck out.
Lainie (42:18):
Yeah, I'm sorry to interrupt but like, really the
big takeaways from today is Iyou know I get people all the
time who are, you know, debatingabout showing their leg braces
and you know, as listeners manylisteners know I don't choose
that but, like, if you'resomeone who, like, would feel
better, you know, doing that,like, take this as an example,
(42:39):
like you can make Anything yoursuperpower, like, do do it up.
Like, if you have a prostheticleg and want to have Tattoo
covered or show your personality, and you can't find yourself
like you can do that.
It's all about choice and it ishide from others, like it
internally weighs on us.
(43:00):
So I'm not saying that everyoneneeds to go and show their leg
braces or things that they'reuncomfortable with.
But if in your head it'ssomething that you're like you
know what I I just, if I justshow them, then they'll be over
it.
Like if I just show it, peoplesee it that the you know.
It's like the mystery is goneand then it's like I can just go
(43:21):
about just living my life.
So I think that's a bigtakeaway too, yeah, yeah.
Alexis Hillyard (43:28):
Or even if you're just like yeah, yeah, or
even just maybe you don't wantto show your braces, and that's
totally fair, but if you seesomebody else showing theirs,
that just gives you a little bitmore spaciousness of being like
okay, I see that Well, I'm notyet.
That's cool, you know.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Yeah, well, permission to to think about
that and to really takeinventory on how much that
weighs on you.
How much energy are you puttinginto hiding that part of you
that you don't want to see,versus how much energy Could you
say, potentially by justshowing that and maybe initially
being scared and nervous aboutthose interactions at first, but
(44:07):
it's true.
So you, you might be a lot morecomfortable in 90 degree
weather, wearing shorts, youknow, and showing your leg
braces, then having to worryabout, like, hiding that.
So it's really, and it goes fora cane a walker, exactly, you
know, like, like Having those.
Lainie (44:26):
You know you, if you, if it's an accessory that you
carry, you know you could makeit your own and it'll feel like
better for you because you'reshowing your personality to
others and, um, yeah, so blingout those canes if you want to.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Yes, think your stumps being your leg braces,
beats whatever it is you want.
Lainie (44:49):
Yeah, if you got a big mole on your face, text you
around it, you do it, you do you.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I love it Well.
Thank you so much, alexis.
It's been such a pleasure.
This was lovely.
Yes, we are gonna Click yourlinks in the show notes, but can
you tell everybody where theycan find your amazing content?
Alexis Hillyard (45:09):
Yeah, so if you just search, stump kitchen on
YouTube, instagram um TikTok andtwitter that those are the best
places.
Lainie (45:20):
Oh yeah amazing, so nice to meet you.
You're having another followernow on your channel, so very
cool.
Thank you so much for what youdo and, um, yeah, it's very cool
.
Alexis Hillyard (45:33):
Thank you.
Thanks for having theconversations.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Thank you, bye, everyone.
Bye, hey, embracers.
Thank you so much for listeningand supporting the embrace it
podcast brought to you bylaunchpad 516 studios Executive,
produced by george andriabalusand hosted by lanie ishpia and
distella we go.
Our music and sound effects arelicensed through epidemic sound
(45:56):
Embrace.
Lainie (45:57):
It is hosted with bus sprout, do you have a disability
related topic You'd love for usto feature, or could someone
you know be a fabulous guest onour show?
We would love to hear yourcomments and feature them on our
next podcast.
So leave us a voicemail, or youcan even send us a text to 631
517 0066.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Make sure to subscribe to this feed wherever
podcasts are available and leaveus a five star review on apple
podcasts while you're at it.
Follow us at embrace itunderscore podcast on instagram
and make sure to follow all thegreat podcasts produced by
launchpad 516 studios.
Lainie (46:35):
We hope you join us next time and continue to embrace it
.
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