January 5, 2024 • 45 mins
In this amusing and heartfelt episode, we explore the pivotal moments that turned a troubled and disabled middle schooler with Tourette’s syndrome into an international comedian and Netflix personality! Join us as Pamela Rae Schuller blends her skills of storytelling and comedy with disability advocacy into this fun and insightful EmBrace It conversation!
- Follow Pamela on Instagram
- Watch Pamela’s TEDx Talk
- Watch Pamela on Netflix
- Book an EmBRACE It Workshop
- Looking for more great tips, hacks, and blog posts? Visit: Trend-Able.com
- Find more on Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) and patient resources at: HNF-cure.org
- Follow us on IG! @embraceit_podcast | @trend.able | @cmtwegotthis
Please leave us a review and help others find us!
Hosted by Lainie Ishbia and Estela Lugo.
Embrace It is produced by Launchpad 516 Studios.
For sponsorships and media inquiries, drop an email to: embraceit@lp516.com
Subscribe to Embrace It with Lainie and Estela on Apple Podcasts and get notified of new episodes! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/embrace-it-with-lainie-estela-smashing-disability-stigmas/id1468364898
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Embrace it series, where women
with all types of disabilitiescan be real, resourceful and
stylish.
With each episode, you'll walkor roll away with everyday tips,
life hacks and success storiesfrom community leaders and
influencers.
So take off your leg braces andstay a while with Lainey and
Estella.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Hi, I'm Lainey and I have CMT.
I'm a neuro-muscular disorderaffecting approximately 2.6
million people worldwide.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
That's as many as MS.
We believe disabilities shouldnever get in the way of looking
or feeling good.
Both of us wear leg braces andhave learned through our own
personal journeys to embrace itBrought to you by Launchpad 516
Studios.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
each episode is designed to challenge your own
stigmas and beliefs arounddisability.
We want our listeners to getthe most value for their time
spent with us, so we interviewsome of the most empowering
disability badasses in the world.
Through storytelling, personalexperiences and tips, we're all
reminded of our own strengthsand endless potential.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
For more information and exclusive resources, check
out our websites attrend-ablecom and hnf-curorg,
and don't forget to hit thesubscribe button for future
episodes and special promos.
Hi, everyone, want to welcomeyou to another episode of
(01:35):
Embrace it.
Hi Estella.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Hey Lainey, How's it going?
I like your background today.
You're like floating around inthe galaxy.
I like it.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Oh, yes, it's well, because you have told me that
the only room in my house thatis good for me to record these
without any major sound issuesis my son's bedroom.
So, yes, we do not needpictures of women and bathing
suits in the background.
So that is why I don't know.
Yeah, do you have a goodweekend?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Yes and no.
We celebrated our seven-yearanniversary and as I was getting
ready to go out to dinner, Ifell and broke my ankle, so I'm
laid up here with my footelevated.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
So that's unfortunately how the weekend
was spent, but I am so sorry,and I'm sure all of our
listeners who know you and knowthat you have CMT and whatnot,
are cringing, because I, youknow, when you told me that last
night I was like, oh my godcan't even imagine because, as
you know, my husband has spinesurgery, emergency spine surgery
(02:38):
, and he's using, you know, awalker and he's using a cane and
he couldn't even get up orstand up and so I'm the one
who's been helping him like tryto get his shoes on.
It's a joke, but I was thinkingto myself, god, what would I do
if, like, I had that extra,like extra challenges among my
normal everyday challenges?
(02:59):
So you, I guess, will, couplemonths from now, stella, you're
going to tell us how you did itright.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
We're figuring it out and I'll share some more about
that on the Instagram, but todayis not about me.
It is about our amazing guests.
So, leni, maybe you canintroduce her, because I'm super
excited for her.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Absolutely, and I'm actually super excited to want
to welcome our guest today, andthat is Pamela Ray Shuler, and
she is a comedian and a speakerand a disability advocate, and I
love her Instagram bio, whichsays I'm that short, twitchy
girl from Netflix's Jewishmatchmaking show and Dr Mike
(03:41):
videos unless there's two of us,anyway.
She probably says it muchfunnier than I just read her bio
.
But, pamela, I'm so happy towelcome you.
Stella and I are, but meespecially because I feel like I
have so much in common with you.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Thanks.
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to hang out withyou both.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah Well, we're so excited for you to be here and,
before we get into all ourcommonalities, maybe you could
just give like a little bitbetter bio about who you are and
, if you're comfortable, whatyour disability is.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
And, yeah, I'm an open book, I'm comfortable about
sharing anything.
So I have Tourette syndrome, Ihave obsessive compulsive
disorder and I'm four foot sixand a half and you're all like,
oh my God, she's a triple threat.
Thank you, I know, and Icombine comedy and storytelling
to talk about like embracingwhat makes you you.
(04:31):
So I combine comedy andstorytelling and I have a
master's in advocacycertificates and executive
coaching and so I work witheverything from schools,
companies, faith-basedorganizations, kind of everyone
in between corporate I think Isaid corporate teams already
like political events, and Ireally focus on getting people
(04:52):
laughing and feeling andcomfortable and then building on
that to give everyone takeawaysand concrete tips and tools to
make this world more inclusive.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
We are so excited to hear more about that, and I
think I first saw you on Netflixthe Jewish matchmaking show.
I went a few months ago.
I was like on a binge of allthe Indian matchmaker and then
the Jewish matchmaker and I wasjust like so obsessed with these
shows and then you popped onthe screen and I was like, oh my
God, we need to have her on ourshow.
(05:22):
You just lit up the screen,your energy was so like
contagious and I just you werejust like amazing.
So I would love to hear alittle bit more about.
We usually start these showswith how, what your upbringing
was like.
Obviously, we'll fast forwardat some point to how you ended
up on Netflix, but let's take alittle bit of a journey back to
(05:46):
what it was like growing up foryou when those diagnosis came
about in your life and how youwere able to manage that and
navigate that.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Yeah, so I grew up in the Midwest and my Tourette's
you're not going to see it as or, you know, hear it right now
for people listening but itdefinitely has shifted the way
it presents itself over time,although I still have what is
considered a severe case.
But I grew up in a small townin the Midwest where, like,
being different wasn't a goodthing and my Tourette's was both
(06:15):
kind of severe in in howaggressive it was, how hard I
did the movements and noises.
I like broke bones fromTourette's from throwing my head
back.
I was out of school for years.
It just it was.
It was tough and I you know themessaging was really that I
took away from the world, that Iwas a nuisance.
(06:36):
You know, you see disability inthe media as I don't know if
I'm allowed to say this, butlike inspiration porn, where
people with disabilities onlyexist.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Oh yeah, we say it all the time.
You're allowed to say anything.
And Pam, can I pause for twoseconds Because I'm curious too,
I think, when people thinkabout Tourette's, or at least
when I think about Tourette's inthe past before becoming a
disability advocate, I think, oh, someone who's like fuck you,
fuck you, fuck you.
But I do know that Tourette'scomes in many different forms,
(07:09):
so can you tell us about thatand like what type of Tourette's
if you know you have, if that'sthe way it's worded and how it?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
showed up, I like to say I do yell cuss words, just
not from Tourette's.
I do that for fun.
Right, that's just.
Yeah, that's just me.
So the media likes us to thinkthat Tourette's is just yelling
cuss words.
In reality, I might get thenumbers wrong, but I think out
of every five people withTourette's, only one has that
additional diagnosis of yellingwords or phrases or repeating
(07:38):
things.
But all of us haveuncontrollable and repetitive
movements and noises.
So for me at this point in mylife it might be hissing or
clearing my throat during COVID.
You know I coughed through thewhole thing because they told me
not to, and you know movementsand things like that.
(08:00):
So every single person withTourette's it looks so
incredibly different.
And not only that, but for mostof us, our ticks that's what
the movements and noses arecalled TICS are constantly
changing and evolving.
So there's a day, there aredays, where I wake up and it's
super noticeable and I live thislife as someone with a very
noticeable case of Tourette's.
And then there are days, liketoday, where, like I've been
(08:23):
chilling out in the Midwest fortwo days and breathing and
calming down and petting dogs atmy mother's house and eating
her cooking and I'm like supercalm right now.
So Tourette's is a little bitless noticeable right now and
it's kind of every day is anadventure, because every day
looks different for me.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
When were you diagnosed with Tourette's, and
what was that journey like foryou and your family?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
Yeah, my mom saw an episode of the Maury Povit show
on Tourette's and was like yes,that.
And she went and got diagnosedlike a week later.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
How old were?
Speaker 4 (08:54):
you Third grade, okay , got it.
But like I used to doprofessional theater and like it
was so clear I had TICS.
I mean my 30s Tourette's wasnot diagnosed when I was a kid.
That was such a new thing, mylike.
We're pretty sure it's genetic.
My dad very clearly hadTourette's and died before he
(09:15):
was ever diagnosed not ofTourette's, of cancer.
I was like to clarify that whenI tell people that they're
always like, oh no, likeTourette's is neurological and
is not gonna shorten my lifespan, my stupidity might shorten my
lifespan, for us we'll not.
I'm with you there, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
So in third grade diagnosed okay, obviously you
know your mom's watching MauryPovit and it's she's like ding,
ding, that's my kid.
Kids are so cruel, right Thirdgrade especially.
Like how were people at thispoint in your life Like, take us
fast forward elementary, juniorhigh, what was it like to like
(09:53):
grow up with Tourette's?
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Every year it was different.
You know, I had like a thirdgrade teacher who tried to train
Tourette's out of me.
It got significantly worse inmiddle school.
I was lucky in that I was notbullied by my peers.
I think they got that somethingwas wrong, something was
different, wrong.
I don't believe anything iswrong, but you know what I mean.
(10:15):
Something was different,something was going on, but I
was isolated.
I think the thing that reallykilled me and really pushed me
deeper into depression is no one.
My peers were not necessarilymean, but they also didn't
understand and so I wasn'tinvited to birthday parties.
I sat alone so many nights.
(10:36):
I remember just, you know,sixth grade, calling any number
in the little phone book, likepraying for a friend, and just
isolated and alone, and sittingalone at meals.
And you know I also I used awheelchair for a few years
because I threw my neck back sohard.
I broke my neck and I just havethese memories of sitting alone
in, you know, using awheelchair at the school before
(11:00):
I ended up going to boardingschool and that's where my life
really turned around.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
So- and that's one of our ding ding ding
commonalities.
I also went to boarding school,did you?
And when?
Well, so I'm from the Midwest.
So there's two.
I live, I think you're, inChicago area, right?
No, ohio, indiana area?
Oh, okay, so I'm in Michigan.
I'm also Jewish and grew up ina very Jewish suburb of Michigan
(11:27):
, small community as well, butmy boarding school, by the way,
it was Northern Michigan.
I went to Leland, ah, and itwas like a full on boarding
school.
But this isn't about me.
I just wanted to say that whois who it is, but I don't know
what was my point.
Oh, yeah, my point was is thatI too, like you know, with a
(11:50):
physical disability that wasn'treally noticeable, but I didn't
really.
I wasn't picked, you know, Iwas picked last for, you know,
teams because I would be theworst player on any team,
because I couldn't run, etcetera.
That, you know, being left outis, you know, a form of bullying
a lot of times, so likeliterally not being included,
(12:11):
being feeling like no one wantsyou around, and it can be subtle
and girls, you know, may notovertly be making fun of someone
, but certainly by shunningsomeone, that is pretty intense,
pretty damaging to a youngchild and growing adolescent
self-esteem and feelings ofself-worth.
(12:33):
So what was your experience?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I'm like of like being left out and I don't know
that I was like shunned.
I really think there was just alevel of like we don't get
different, different to scary.
I also think so many kids arein their own world.
It's hard to be a kid and soyou know for one kid not to
include me.
They probably assumed otherpeople might be including me,
but when everyone's doing that,it becomes really awful.
(12:59):
I don't blame those kids.
I think it starts at home.
It starts at conversations,with conversations.
I do think I do.
I perform at so many middleschools and when I tell you,
these kids line up to sharetheir stories with me or, like
ask me for my autograph, which Ithought was not a thing anymore
(13:21):
, and I'm obsessed that it stillhappens.
And I think it's becausesuddenly I'm an adult who comes
in and is like I am different.
I have been through all ofthese things and I love it.
I love what makes me me.
I own it.
Like they wanna tell me whatthey're learning to love about
themselves and I think kidsdon't know what they don't know
(13:41):
and the more we are just honestand teaching and including them
in the conversations, I thinkit's gonna benefit other kids
Totally.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But, pamela, like you are in our workshops that
Estelle and I do, when we dothem for people with
disabilities, one of the mainthings we talk about is humor as
a bridge right, and so likethat obviously isn't is part of
who you are.
Is is using humor and, you know, hopefully not self-deprecating
(14:12):
in a damaging way, butself-deprecating in a relatable
way for other people.
Like, look, I'm a person justlike you and when someone
doesn't focus themselves only ontheir stuff, then other people
don't focus on it either as much.
Right, like you clearlyobviously now are speaking about
it everywhere and verycomfortable and that lets people
(14:35):
feel like it's like safe forthem to share their stuff with
you.
So can you kind of tell us allright, so obviously, as a kid,
you you know people didn'treally understand trash.
Your family was learning itfrom more about it.
You know you're living life,blah, blah, fast forward.
You're in boarding school.
How did you get into thiscomedy thing?
(14:57):
And like, how did that, youknow, spill over into your
everyday world?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
so boarding school was what saved me.
I just like I'm joining theirboard of trustees, like I will
do anything for this school.
I think it's the greatest itwas in Burlington, vermont.
It was this hippie-dippy place.
It was not a school for kidswith disabilities, it was just a
place that, like, celebratedindividuality and creativity and
whoever you are, addedsomething to the community.
(15:24):
And when, like it, just it wasso beautifully set up and I was
an asshole.
Like I got to boarding schooland I was mad at the world and I
was snarky and I was funny butit wasn't channeled and I had
more detention than anyone elsethe school ever had.
And it was in detention whereone day a teacher asked me to
(15:44):
make a list of what I lovedabout myself.
And the teacher was in themoment.
He was present.
He saw what I didn't know howto find the words for right.
Like we tell kids ask for helpif you're depressed, if you're
experiencing suicide ideation,but it's so hard to ask for help
.
We don't teach people how toask for help and it's it's a
different right, it's adifferent tool for educators and
(16:07):
people who work with youngpeople to hear what we're not
able to say.
Yet I don't have the words, butI admitted that I had nothing
about myself that I loved.
And I admitted, by sitting infront of that list, terrified,
like just an empty list of whatI loved about myself, with truly
nothing to write on it.
And boarding school I won't tellthe whole story, but boarding
(16:27):
school put me on a journey tofind what I loved about myself.
Boarding school put me on ajourney to realize that I added
something to this world, even ifI didn't know it yet, and so
they were the ones that put mein in stand-up comedy.
I think they realized I was.
I mean, I look back at these.
Boarding school made me writeletters of apology to everyone.
(16:48):
I was a jerk too, because,again, you know, I think when
you think of me you might thinkof like poor, sad Pammy.
In reality, I was mean, I wasangry, I was like like a jerk, I
was pushing the world away forme, and they forced me to write
these letters of apology.
And I found them in my mom'sbasement and they are hilarious.
(17:09):
Like I had to have known I was.
They saved them for me, so theymust have known that I was, you
know, creative and funny andall of these things and I'm so
thankful that they, like, sawsomething that I didn't see yet.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yeah, well, we're.
What were some of those thingsthat you were able to start
adding to that list afterreflecting and having that
guidance from your, your, your,teachers so at first it was just
that I had a sense of humor.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
That was the first thing that I added to the list.
That was the building block.
Over years, I found more right,like at this point, I love that
people feel safe with me toshare what they're going through
.
Every night before I go to bedI look on my Instagram messages
of people who have heard mespeak or heard a podcast and
like just want to connect andshare with me and I love that,
(18:01):
like just existing people arestarting, like people are
learning to love what makes themdown, like by hearing my story
or hearing me speak or hearingme own it.
But humor was the first thing.
That for me and I guess Ididn't say it when you initially
asked me the story, but thatfor me was the thing that
started making me feel like Iwanted to stay and it's so funny
(18:25):
.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
well, no pun intended , but I feel like humor is
something that I have had todevelop as well with a
disability.
I think with disability there'sso many more opportunities to
work that humor muscle becauseyou kind of have to.
It's like there's so manymoments where like, well, I can
(18:47):
cry about this or I can laughabout this, or sometimes you
just have to use humor aswhether it's a protective shield
or to interact with peoplesocially, with your peers, to
laugh about the things thatmaybe are silly or look awkward.
Or I remember for me my friendsand I would be out and I would
(19:09):
just wipe out and fall.
Of course they would make sureI wasn't hurt and then we would
laugh about it.
Then I was able to laugh aboutit as well in a healthy way or
just kind of like profundateeach other.
I found that to be somethingthat was also a value to me
growing up as a child with adisability, that I was usually
(19:31):
the funny kid in the groupbecause of the disability right,
because I could laugh at myself, and then people felt safe to
laugh about themselves with me.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Being a kid is hard and awkward.
Being a human is funny andawkward.
In all of these things I reallyappreciate that.
I love finding moments oflevity and humor.
On the flip side, I acknowledgethat not everyone is going to
find this funny, especially ifsomething is new and hard.
I say it doesn't have to becomedy, it doesn't have to be
(20:02):
humor, but do something creative, because I think finding a way
to embrace your story isdifferent for everyone and
there's no right or wrong.
I know people who it's nevergoing to be funny to them, but
they're painting or they'rewriting, or there's poetry, or I
guess there are people who doathletic stuff.
That will never be me, butgreat, I'm glad that.
(20:23):
Going for a run is how youprocess.
What does it look like to findit in a way that works for you?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Yeah, find your outlet.
You made it through boardingschool.
When did you start stand upprofessionally?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Hold on, we need to go back to boarding school.
That's my biggest fear.
This boarding school thatyou're the board member of, or
whatever, it's opposite of whatI experienced.
You went to a therapeuticenvironment, even if it wasn't
not meant to be.
It just was like just to hippie, chill, be yourself, everyone's
(21:02):
accepted.
I went to boarding school forkids who are in trouble or
wealthy and their parents don'twant them there, or kids who are
locals and there's no goodschool.
That's why they go there.
We had very differentexperiences.
As an example, I was thevaledictorian.
There were only 12 of us and Ihad a B average.
(21:24):
That tells you anything.
12 people in my class co-ed 80students on the beach in Lake
Michigan beautiful.
But I was the valedictorianwith a B 3.0 average.
(21:44):
That was like when teachersgave you points because you were
curved.
It was probably like a D or anE.
Your school was bigger thanmine.
Before we move quickly past it,I think it's a really important
point because in your TED Talkwhich, by the way, it was
awesome we're going to put thatin the show notes as well for
(22:06):
people to be able to watch youand see you if they're able to
and listen.
It's really cool.
One of the things that was ahuge pivotal moment when that
teacher had you write that listIn your TED Talk you talked
about it wasn't like youinstantly were like oh yeah, I'm
funny, it was a process.
(22:26):
How did you and you start?
You alluded to it when we weretalking earlier about the funny
part about channeling that funny.
We'll be right back.
Speaker 6 (22:49):
This is George, fred and Jason, the co-leaders of
Speak, interrupting to say thatwe hope you're enjoying this
episode, but please make sure tocheck out our new show, the
Speak Podcast, another greatshow produced by Launchpad 516
Studios.
New episodes available everyweek on all of your favorite
podcast platforms.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Each Speak Talk is about six to ten minutes in
length, and the talks are givenin storytelling format.
There are three key moments ineach Speak Talk the moment of
truth, the moment oftransformation and the moment of
impact.
We host pop-up events all overthe world, and now we're
bringing our talks to yourdevice.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
Join us on the Speak Podcast as our speakers step
onto the stage and into thespotlight with impactful ideas
and stories.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
We'll let you get back to the show you were
listening to another greatpodcast from Launchpad 516
Studios.
You're tuning in to embrace itwith Laini Anastella, brought to
you by Launchpad 516 Studios.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
So how did you?
I want people to think, okay,maybe funny, being a comedian
isn't your thing, but everyonehas a thing that they're really
good at.
Or people tell them you know,you're so thoughtful, you're the
best gift giver, or you're socreative, whatever it may be,
(24:16):
and they just never channeled it.
They never, like, really honedin on that.
So take us from writing gettingin trouble and you know,
getting.
By the way, I also got introuble, but it was like being
in the woods doing things thatkids do in boarding school, not
for writing notes.
I don't know, we went tototally different boarding
(24:37):
schools.
So, anyways, take us to how didyou learn to channel your humor
in a way that was positive foryou and for other people?
And, yeah, share that please.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
I'm still a little bit on that journey, like I have
jokes that still I probably cannever do on stage because
they're just mean, angry at theworld, like they're a 15 year
old Pam again.
But boarding school signed meup for a ton of classes and
workshops to see what Iconnected with, and they were
the ones that put me in stand upand improv.
I loved it.
They got me writing jokes.
(25:16):
But I think a big thing was,you know, I wasn't just in
detention for those letters.
Those letters were a result oflike, in addition to detention,
I had to read apology lettersbut I, you know, was snarky and
mean and pushing back and thestaff decided that anything goes
, any bad language goes, if Iput it in my art, and that to me
(25:38):
like opened a world where I can.
I cuss on here.
Can I say bad?
Yes, I wrote a whole series ofpoetry called shit.
They told me I could use badwords and so I leaned in with
the shit series and I was myfavorite line.
So in order to like get it, ifyou've gotten trouble during
(26:03):
like, evenings and weekends, youhad to clean, you had to work
off, like your time cleaning.
And I remember my favorite linein a poem was the shitty clock
ticks as I tick and clean upshit.
Wow, and like it opened, liketo be able to know that I could,
I could play and I could saythe wrong thing.
(26:23):
And I had a presentation inhistory where I was told I could
be creative and it had words ona screen that I will never say
out loud.
It starts with a C, but it waslike the dirtiest word I could
think if I put a wholepresentation together about it.
And the history teacher Iremember being like I'm
uncomfortable, but you did theassignment.
(26:45):
I think that was huge.
They let me step over the line.
They let me find my footing.
They drove me to do stand up.
They drove me to do slam poetrynights.
Like it wasn't initially allstand up, it was just me being
creative, I.
They put me in a playwritingclass after I knew I loved being
(27:07):
funny.
So in a playwriting class Iused humor and I wrote a play
and it won the Vermont YoungPlaywright Festival.
Like I was just trying to findmy voice in in, but I knew it
was going to be through throughhumor.
But they really supported itand cheered me on.
They bought canvases and paintfor my room.
(27:28):
They mean, it was like they.
If.
I play the right of all yeahyeah, wow, really lucky, and a
lot of the kids who were therehad also gone to like wilderness
programs, therapeutic boardingschools and instead of going
home after it came here.
So we had, you know, kids withvarying needs.
We had kids who had been inrehab programs and wilderness
(27:51):
programs.
Um, we, we had kids who were inthe foster care system, and
then we had kids whose parentswere bajillionaires and kind of
everyone in between, and it wasreally this, just yeah, it was
just a really cool experienceand I was there for all four
years, wow, so your comedy thatyou do now because we definitely
(28:14):
want to get to the Netflixthing, so we're going to get
there.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
But your comedy, your current profession is a
comedian.
Is that right?
Like you make money as a man.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
I do more as the comedy and storytelling with a
message.
So really what I do more ofthese days is work with schools,
communities, corporate teamsand I combine comedy and
storytelling to share my storyand then give concrete tips and
tools to build a more inclusiveoffice college.
Whatever I still do, typicalstand up my typical stand up is
(28:45):
still filthy, like I do cleanwith this other piece that I do
of really comedy storytelling.
But when I'm back in New York Imet the comedy clubs just
working it out, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I love what you're doing with this amazing touring
helping kids, college students,whatever you know, telling your
story to get them to not onlyunderstand what it's like to
live with multiple disabilitiesyourself, but also to like
channel their own.
You know stuff right.
So take us to the exciting part.
(29:18):
Estella saw you on the JewishMatchmaker show which I watched
today.
I'm a little bit over today, soI'm so curious.
I was, you know, do youremember?
Like the first?
You're too young, but the firstmatchmaker on TV.
I forgot what her name was.
She was so funny and so pretty.
(29:38):
Yeah, I do remember.
Oh my God, what was thatmillionaire?
It was millionaire matchmaker.
Yeah, oh, I remember I remember,yeah, it was like yeah.
But then you know, then Istarted watching the other ones
and I was like, oh, this is soyou know you kind of like watch
shows at least I do based onlike what you're doing in life,
right?
(29:58):
So, like when I was dating, Iwatched dating shows.
When I was getting married itwas all about like marriage and
you know, whatever, and then itwas like baby shows and now I
have no interest in anything.
It's not so old, it's like, oh,what is there to watch?
That's shows, Like I don't evenknow, but anyways, Okay.
So I want to ask you those.
(30:19):
How did you get, like?
Did you apply to be on theJewish matchmaker show?
Did Netflix find you?
How did that happen.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Most people applied.
I did a show I mean I tour andso, like seven years ago, aliza
the matchmaker saw me perform inLA and ran up to me and was
like can I match you and I'm?
The journey to love Tourette'swas different for me than the
journey to love Tourette's indating, and so at that point I
(30:48):
was so career focused, I was Ilove Tourette's, but I wasn't so
comfortable dating with it andI kind of laughed at her.
I was like no, and we stayed intouch, though she, we Facebook
friended each other.
We had been kind of in touchthrough the years and she had
seen some jokes I'd posted aboutdating now.
So she knew now I was dating.
(31:08):
And so when she got the show,she told Netflix about me and
she called and said now are youdating?
And I said no, I'm dating.
And she gave me a call and saidhow would you feel about dating
on camera?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Okay.
So before we talk about theshow you dating, we talk a
little bit.
You know, I think one of ourepisodes that's the most
listened to was on dating.
I mean, people are veryinterested whether they're
single, whether they're newlysingle because they're divorced
or whatever, trying to date.
Do you do you assume, pam, thatPam I just said Pam, like we're
(31:43):
buddies you go by, pam, I go byeither.
Okay so, pam, do you assumepeople have Googled you and like
know about your stress, or doyou not assume that, like, how
do you approach dating with yourdisabilities?
Speaker 4 (31:58):
So I think the biggest thing for me is that I
don't.
It's not a one size fits allfor every date.
For everything I do, I've givenmyself agency to decide.
If I want to toning on a firstdate I have threats Great.
If I don't, that's great too.
I get to make a decision in themoment based on how I feel, and
that, for me, was really freeing, because for a long time I was
like trying to come up with theexact language and decide when I
(32:21):
would do it.
Was I going to do it beforeappetizers was going to?
You know what I mean?
Like when am I telling him?
And once I was like I can be inthe moment, like if we're
bantering and it's great and Ifeel like I can, I want to say
it Awesome, I'll tell them mythreats If, if I'm uncomfortable
, well, I'm not going to marrythat dude anyway.
So I like it.
I don't have to.
I don't have to be nervous orworried about that.
(32:43):
I don't have to be worried.
I don't have to, um, not sharemy worries or wonders.
Why I'm winking him a little bitextra.
Then that's on him.
Great, am I working?
Your favorite too?
You never know, it absolutelyhas worked in my favor.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Tourette's has become what's the, not my sidekick, my
, uh, oh, I'm just dropping.
Oh, I know what you're gonnasay.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
Yeah, I was just gonna say wingman, that's
hilarious, that is absolutelyhilarious.
And I don't assume they'veGoogled me.
I date a lot of comedians,which is like such a bad life
decision.
I'm aware, and I do know, thatfor the most part they know I
have Tourette's because I'm anopen book on stage, whether it's
a Speaking gig or kind ofstand-up gig.
(33:23):
So, they know, althoughsometimes they don't.
I like was on a show with a guyand Did a bunch of jokes about
having Tourette's and at the endof it he was like funny stuff
and I was like thanks, and hegoes.
And I saw you winking at me andI was like you don't even get
right.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
So what is Dating life like?
Speaker 4 (33:42):
for you.
Now I'm looking for the biggestthing is commitment to the bit.
I need a guy who can likebanter back and forth with me.
I want, if we've got an insidejoke, I want us to keep going
with it until it isn't funnyanymore and then keep going even
more until it circles back tobeing funny again.
I speak in sarcasm, so I want aguy who is sarcastic and can
(34:06):
hold his own.
I and besides that, I think I'mopen to a lot of things and,
like you know, I think we oftenthink that people with
disabilities are only datingother people with disabilities
and For me that's like if he hasa disability, okay, and if he
doesn't, okay, like right.
It's really about like thebanter, and I hate small talk.
(34:28):
I hate small talk.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
So I'm who likes it?
Who are there?
People that like small talk?
Speaker 4 (34:34):
I think people who are good at it, but like I want
to crawl.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah, so yeah, I'm so love match on Netflix.
I guess it was a friendshipmatch.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
We are, we keep in touch.
Yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yeah, I don't want to .
We don't want to spoil theepisode for people because we're
gonna include it, but so we'renot gonna say okay, okay,
whatever.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
But Going back to what Estella asked you dating is
can dating can be a nightmare,disability or not, like huge.
I think there's just a level oflike Rejection that you know,
even like I'm, I'm friends withsome really hot people and they
also get rejected and theyremind me of that and that makes
me feel great like not greatfor that, you know, like.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, we know what you mean, because a lot of times
people are like, oh, it musthave been my disability.
Right when Estella and I do likeskits in our workshops for,
like you know, our our thoughts,if we're not in a place we,
where we feel good aboutourselves, where we're still.
You know, in your TED talk youtalked about people staring at
you all the time and feelinglike people were always staring.
(35:49):
Like that woman is staring atme, she's staring at, she's
staring at my tracks.
She knows that I have trust.
We, and when we'reself-conscious and we're, like
you know, we're focused on ourDisability being a negative
thing, then someone else isgonna see it as a negative thing
.
But it sounds like what you dois you just put it out there.
(36:10):
It's part of your everyday life.
And you know what was my point?
Oh, I know.
My point was is that a lot oftimes people use their
disability as, like the excuse,like, oh, it must have been, I'm
not going to put myself outthere because no one would want
me because of my disability,because I went on three dates
and no one called me back, so itmust be my disability.
(36:31):
When, in fact, camilla, likewhat you said is like, oh,
you're hot friends, they mightnot get called back either.
They're not thinking, oh, it'sbecause I'm hot, no one's
calling me back, right, I'm?
Speaker 4 (36:44):
too hot.
I, you just in the dating worldyou're going to get rejected,
and it might.
It's the same as when Iaudition for things Like it
might just have been that I likewasn't exactly what they wanted
at that moment, but in sixmonths, maybe I'm great for a
different role or a differentpart.
And I think in dating like, weoften internalize the rejection
(37:06):
instead of like no.
And also I might be rejectingpeople Like I.
You know, at some point thisyear broke up with a guy I'd
been seeing, and it's becauseit's just, he might have been
great, might have been great onpaper, he might have been great,
for sure he's great for someoneelse, but he wasn't my match
and like it has nothing.
Like you know, it's nothing bador wrong about him, and so when
(37:27):
I can put that in perspective,then when I get rejected, it's
just I wasn't their match andthat's like a learning curve.
It's something I still strugglewith.
There are times where I am notdating because I don't feel like
my self-esteem is gonna begreat at handling rejection.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Yeah, and it's all about going back to that list of
things that you like aboutyourself and remembering that's
the core of your most importantrelationship, right, and then
from there you're able to kindof navigate your family
relationships, romanticrelationships.
I think that's a great tool foranyone out there who, whether
(38:05):
you're struggling withdisability or something else or
anything, it's just to have thatlist handy, maybe write it down
.
What are some other tools thatyou maybe share with the
students that you speak withthat we can share with our
listeners today on how to kindof build that resilience as well
(38:26):
?
Speaker 4 (38:27):
So I wanna add one thing that with dating, I
realized we all have something.
Everyone has something thatmakes life feel scary or messy,
or we're learning to love aboutourselves, or hard or
overwhelming, and so I go intoevery day like remembering that,
that like, yeah, for me I'vegot a few things, and a lot of
them are visible.
Tourette's Four Foot Six CurvyQueen.
There's a lot going on, buteveryone is working through
(38:53):
something.
Everyone is on the journey tolove themselves, whether they
know it or not.
And so, yeah, and that, becauseI knew I wanted to say that I
absolutely forgot your question.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Oh, I was gonna say, are there any other tools that
you share with the students?
Speaker 4 (39:12):
So I think a big thing and not just the students
with anyone is like what?
Make a list of what you loveabout yourself.
Start a list and if you haveone thing amazing, if you have
no things, that's also amazing.
What an important thing torealize.
Because realizing that youmaybe don't know yet what you
love about yourself is anindicator that, like, let's pull
in some supports.
Is it therapy?
(39:32):
Is it letting a friend groupknow, or a friend know, or
someone you care about, ateacher, if you're in school,
right, like and I asked myfriends that question Like I
love knowing what my friendslove about themselves, and if
they're, by asking that question, and especially like I used to
run a youth organization and Iwould ask all my teens this
(39:53):
question because, on one hand,if I know it, when things are
hard and they will get hard, Ican reflect that back in them.
And on the flip side, if someonedoesn't have anything they love
about themselves yet, I wannahelp you pull in supports to
find it, because it doesn'tmatter what age you are.
There's no too late to startthat journey and there are times
in my life where I have to goback to the drawing board and
(40:14):
say I'm not feeling funny rightnow.
I but a year and a half ago hada death in the family and like
just wasn't feeling funny orcreative, and so I went back to
the drawing board and I was likeI wanna find something else.
Let me go on a journey again tosee something else that I
connect with.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Okay, number five and six that we have in common.
I always say everyone hassomething like don't I get the
oh?
Speaker 3 (40:38):
it does all the time.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
And then, oh my God, I used to run a youth
organization.
I'm a social worker bybackground and my focus was on
teen self-esteem and body image,and it then evolved to doing
trendable and embrace it and allthat.
But we have so much in common.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
I love it, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
We're gonna have to hang out.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
I mean, okay, I just used a bad.
See, I just used a word thatwould be like ableist.
I just said it's crazy and itis, but it's not.
It is.
You guys know what I mean.
That was not good.
Anyways, okay, how can peoplefind you know more about you?
We're gonna put all the linksfor your TED Talk, for the
Jewish matchmaking episode, foryour website.
(41:23):
We're gonna put that in theshow notes.
But can you just let us know onNetflix, like, what is your?
How do we find?
Speaker 4 (41:28):
you there.
So Netflix.
I think I'm episode eight.
I'm not Netflix.
I'm sorry, I'm on.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Instagram, I'm not Netflix.
How do we find you on Netflix?
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Well, like Instagram.
I'm at Pamela Comedy.
My website is also at Pamela orPamelaComedycom.
My TikTok is Pamela Comedy.
So really, if you alsoliterally I think if you search
like Pamela Tourette's, you'regonna find me pretty quick If
you forget the handle, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Okay, and I know Lainey mentioned that you used
the phrase embrace it in yourTED Talk a few times.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
I'm mad at her.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Yeah, what is the term embrace?
It personally mean to you now,looking back.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
The term embrace.
It is like I'm always gonnahave Tourette's, I'm always
gonna be four foot six and ahalf, like I'm likely always
gonna have OCD.
So it's kind of accepting thetruth and building from there.
I can struggle and love myselfat the same time and so that's
it.
Love that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
So, it was so awesome having you on, pamela.
I mean, like everyone can feelmy enthusiasm for this because I
mean, first of all, we learneda little bit.
I didn't know much aboutTourette's.
I love to recap the fact thatthat boarding school experience
that one teacher made such animpact by having you think about
(42:55):
what you love about yourselfand then molding that natural
talent into something that helpspeople.
And I was thinking, as you weredoing that, like Astellah does,
that she works for anorganization that she cares
about.
She uses her creativity, hereverything to do what we do.
And like, if listeners wannahave a takeaway from this, it's
(43:18):
like think about what it isabout yourself that you
appreciate that other.
Maybe think about what would ifyou don't have that one thing.
Think about what would someoneelse say about you is something
they love about you?
And then, if you don't love it,maybe start finding ways to
accept it first and then love it, you know.
So we loved having you, pamela,and we're gonna definitely
(43:41):
connect again our past lacrossewith so many things we have in
common.
I mean we're bound to connectagain right.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
Thank you for the work you're both doing and for
having me today.
This was a ton of fun, thankyou so much, pamela.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
Well, thank you everyone for listening and we'll
be back soon with anotherepisode of Embrace it, but
please check out the show notesand follow Pamela, and we'll
speak soon.
Bye, hey, embracers.
Thank you so much for listeningand supporting the Embrace it
podcast Brought to you byLaunchpad 516 Studios executive,
produced by George Andreobelisand hosted by Laini Ispia and
(44:21):
Estella Hugo.
Our music and sound effects arelicensed through Epidemic Sound
.
Embrace it is hosted withBuzzsprout.
Do you have a?
Speaker 2 (44:27):
disability related topic you'd love for us to
feature, or could someone youknow be a fabulous guest on our
show?
We would love to hear yourcomments and feature them on our
next podcast.
So leave us a voicemail or youcan even send us a text to
631-517-0066.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
Make sure to subscribe to this feed wherever
podcasts are available and leaveus a five star review on Apple
Podcasts while you're at it,follow us at Embracet underscore
podcast on Instagram and makesure to follow all the great
podcasts produced by Launchpad516.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Studios.
We hope you join us next timeand continue to Embrace it.
Welcome to the Embrace it series, where women
with all types of disabilitiescan be real, resourceful and
stylish.
With each episode, you'll walkor roll away with everyday tips,
life hacks and success storiesfrom community leaders and
influencers.
So take off your leg braces andstay a while with Lainey and
Estella.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Hi, I'm Lainey and I have CMT.
I'm a neuro-muscular disorderaffecting approximately 2.6
million people worldwide.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
That's as many as MS.
We believe disabilities shouldnever get in the way of looking
or feeling good.
Both of us wear leg braces andhave learned through our own
personal journeys to embrace itBrought to you by Launchpad 516
Studios.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
each episode is designed to challenge your own
stigmas and beliefs arounddisability.
We want our listeners to getthe most value for their time
spent with us, so we interviewsome of the most empowering
disability badasses in the world.
Through storytelling, personalexperiences and tips, we're all
reminded of our own strengthsand endless potential.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
For more information and exclusive resources, check
out our websites attrend-ablecom and hnf-curorg,
and don't forget to hit thesubscribe button for future
episodes and special promos.
Hi, everyone, want to welcomeyou to another episode of
(01:35):
Embrace it.
Hi Estella.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Hey Lainey, How's it going?
I like your background today.
You're like floating around inthe galaxy.
I like it.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Oh, yes, it's well, because you have told me that
the only room in my house thatis good for me to record these
without any major sound issuesis my son's bedroom.
So, yes, we do not needpictures of women and bathing
suits in the background.
So that is why I don't know.
Yeah, do you have a goodweekend?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Yes and no.
We celebrated our seven-yearanniversary and as I was getting
ready to go out to dinner, Ifell and broke my ankle, so I'm
laid up here with my footelevated.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
So that's unfortunately how the weekend
was spent, but I am so sorry,and I'm sure all of our
listeners who know you and knowthat you have CMT and whatnot,
are cringing, because I, youknow, when you told me that last
night I was like, oh my godcan't even imagine because, as
you know, my husband has spinesurgery, emergency spine surgery
(02:38):
, and he's using, you know, awalker and he's using a cane and
he couldn't even get up orstand up and so I'm the one
who's been helping him like tryto get his shoes on.
It's a joke, but I was thinkingto myself, god, what would I do
if, like, I had that extra,like extra challenges among my
normal everyday challenges?
(02:59):
So you, I guess, will, couplemonths from now, stella, you're
going to tell us how you did itright.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
We're figuring it out and I'll share some more about
that on the Instagram, but todayis not about me.
It is about our amazing guests.
So, leni, maybe you canintroduce her, because I'm super
excited for her.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Absolutely, and I'm actually super excited to want
to welcome our guest today, andthat is Pamela Ray Shuler, and
she is a comedian and a speakerand a disability advocate, and I
love her Instagram bio, whichsays I'm that short, twitchy
girl from Netflix's Jewishmatchmaking show and Dr Mike
(03:41):
videos unless there's two of us,anyway.
She probably says it muchfunnier than I just read her bio
.
But, pamela, I'm so happy towelcome you.
Stella and I are, but meespecially because I feel like I
have so much in common with you.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Thanks.
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to hang out withyou both.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah Well, we're so excited for you to be here and,
before we get into all ourcommonalities, maybe you could
just give like a little bitbetter bio about who you are and
, if you're comfortable, whatyour disability is.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
And, yeah, I'm an open book, I'm comfortable about
sharing anything.
So I have Tourette syndrome, Ihave obsessive compulsive
disorder and I'm four foot sixand a half and you're all like,
oh my God, she's a triple threat.
Thank you, I know, and Icombine comedy and storytelling
to talk about like embracingwhat makes you you.
(04:31):
So I combine comedy andstorytelling and I have a
master's in advocacycertificates and executive
coaching and so I work witheverything from schools,
companies, faith-basedorganizations, kind of everyone
in between corporate I think Isaid corporate teams already
like political events, and Ireally focus on getting people
(04:52):
laughing and feeling andcomfortable and then building on
that to give everyone takeawaysand concrete tips and tools to
make this world more inclusive.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
We are so excited to hear more about that, and I
think I first saw you on Netflixthe Jewish matchmaking show.
I went a few months ago.
I was like on a binge of allthe Indian matchmaker and then
the Jewish matchmaker and I wasjust like so obsessed with these
shows and then you popped onthe screen and I was like, oh my
God, we need to have her on ourshow.
(05:22):
You just lit up the screen,your energy was so like
contagious and I just you werejust like amazing.
So I would love to hear alittle bit more about.
We usually start these showswith how, what your upbringing
was like.
Obviously, we'll fast forwardat some point to how you ended
up on Netflix, but let's take alittle bit of a journey back to
(05:46):
what it was like growing up foryou when those diagnosis came
about in your life and how youwere able to manage that and
navigate that.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Yeah, so I grew up in the Midwest and my Tourette's
you're not going to see it as or, you know, hear it right now
for people listening but itdefinitely has shifted the way
it presents itself over time,although I still have what is
considered a severe case.
But I grew up in a small townin the Midwest where, like,
being different wasn't a goodthing and my Tourette's was both
(06:15):
kind of severe in in howaggressive it was, how hard I
did the movements and noises.
I like broke bones fromTourette's from throwing my head
back.
I was out of school for years.
It just it was.
It was tough and I you know themessaging was really that I
took away from the world, that Iwas a nuisance.
(06:36):
You know, you see disability inthe media as I don't know if
I'm allowed to say this, butlike inspiration porn, where
people with disabilities onlyexist.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Oh yeah, we say it all the time.
You're allowed to say anything.
And Pam, can I pause for twoseconds Because I'm curious too,
I think, when people thinkabout Tourette's, or at least
when I think about Tourette's inthe past before becoming a
disability advocate, I think, oh, someone who's like fuck you,
fuck you, fuck you.
But I do know that Tourette'scomes in many different forms,
(07:09):
so can you tell us about thatand like what type of Tourette's
if you know you have, if that'sthe way it's worded and how it?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
showed up, I like to say I do yell cuss words, just
not from Tourette's.
I do that for fun.
Right, that's just.
Yeah, that's just me.
So the media likes us to thinkthat Tourette's is just yelling
cuss words.
In reality, I might get thenumbers wrong, but I think out
of every five people withTourette's, only one has that
additional diagnosis of yellingwords or phrases or repeating
(07:38):
things.
But all of us haveuncontrollable and repetitive
movements and noises.
So for me at this point in mylife it might be hissing or
clearing my throat during COVID.
You know I coughed through thewhole thing because they told me
not to, and you know movementsand things like that.
(08:00):
So every single person withTourette's it looks so
incredibly different.
And not only that, but for mostof us, our ticks that's what
the movements and noses arecalled TICS are constantly
changing and evolving.
So there's a day, there aredays, where I wake up and it's
super noticeable and I live thislife as someone with a very
noticeable case of Tourette's.
And then there are days, liketoday, where, like I've been
(08:23):
chilling out in the Midwest fortwo days and breathing and
calming down and petting dogs atmy mother's house and eating
her cooking and I'm like supercalm right now.
So Tourette's is a little bitless noticeable right now and
it's kind of every day is anadventure, because every day
looks different for me.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
When were you diagnosed with Tourette's, and
what was that journey like foryou and your family?
Speaker 4 (08:42):
Yeah, my mom saw an episode of the Maury Povit show
on Tourette's and was like yes,that.
And she went and got diagnosedlike a week later.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
How old were?
Speaker 4 (08:54):
you Third grade, okay , got it.
But like I used to doprofessional theater and like it
was so clear I had TICS.
I mean my 30s Tourette's wasnot diagnosed when I was a kid.
That was such a new thing, mylike.
We're pretty sure it's genetic.
My dad very clearly hadTourette's and died before he
(09:15):
was ever diagnosed not ofTourette's, of cancer.
I was like to clarify that whenI tell people that they're
always like, oh no, likeTourette's is neurological and
is not gonna shorten my lifespan, my stupidity might shorten my
lifespan, for us we'll not.
I'm with you there, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
So in third grade diagnosed okay, obviously you
know your mom's watching MauryPovit and it's she's like ding,
ding, that's my kid.
Kids are so cruel, right Thirdgrade especially.
Like how were people at thispoint in your life Like, take us
fast forward elementary, juniorhigh, what was it like to like
(09:53):
grow up with Tourette's?
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Every year it was different.
You know, I had like a thirdgrade teacher who tried to train
Tourette's out of me.
It got significantly worse inmiddle school.
I was lucky in that I was notbullied by my peers.
I think they got that somethingwas wrong, something was
different, wrong.
I don't believe anything iswrong, but you know what I mean.
(10:15):
Something was different,something was going on, but I
was isolated.
I think the thing that reallykilled me and really pushed me
deeper into depression is no one.
My peers were not necessarilymean, but they also didn't
understand and so I wasn'tinvited to birthday parties.
I sat alone so many nights.
(10:36):
I remember just, you know,sixth grade, calling any number
in the little phone book, likepraying for a friend, and just
isolated and alone, and sittingalone at meals.
And you know I also I used awheelchair for a few years
because I threw my neck back sohard.
I broke my neck and I just havethese memories of sitting alone
in, you know, using awheelchair at the school before
(11:00):
I ended up going to boardingschool and that's where my life
really turned around.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
So- and that's one of our ding ding ding
commonalities.
I also went to boarding school,did you?
And when?
Well, so I'm from the Midwest.
So there's two.
I live, I think you're, inChicago area, right?
No, ohio, indiana area?
Oh, okay, so I'm in Michigan.
I'm also Jewish and grew up ina very Jewish suburb of Michigan
(11:27):
, small community as well, butmy boarding school, by the way,
it was Northern Michigan.
I went to Leland, ah, and itwas like a full on boarding
school.
But this isn't about me.
I just wanted to say that whois who it is, but I don't know
what was my point.
Oh, yeah, my point was is thatI too, like you know, with a
(11:50):
physical disability that wasn'treally noticeable, but I didn't
really.
I wasn't picked, you know, Iwas picked last for, you know,
teams because I would be theworst player on any team,
because I couldn't run, etcetera.
That, you know, being left outis, you know, a form of bullying
a lot of times, so likeliterally not being included,
(12:11):
being feeling like no one wantsyou around, and it can be subtle
and girls, you know, may notovertly be making fun of someone
, but certainly by shunningsomeone, that is pretty intense,
pretty damaging to a youngchild and growing adolescent
self-esteem and feelings ofself-worth.
(12:33):
So what was your experience?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I'm like of like being left out and I don't know
that I was like shunned.
I really think there was just alevel of like we don't get
different, different to scary.
I also think so many kids arein their own world.
It's hard to be a kid and soyou know for one kid not to
include me.
They probably assumed otherpeople might be including me,
but when everyone's doing that,it becomes really awful.
(12:59):
I don't blame those kids.
I think it starts at home.
It starts at conversations,with conversations.
I do think I do.
I perform at so many middleschools and when I tell you,
these kids line up to sharetheir stories with me or, like
ask me for my autograph, which Ithought was not a thing anymore
(13:21):
, and I'm obsessed that it stillhappens.
And I think it's becausesuddenly I'm an adult who comes
in and is like I am different.
I have been through all ofthese things and I love it.
I love what makes me me.
I own it.
Like they wanna tell me whatthey're learning to love about
themselves and I think kidsdon't know what they don't know
(13:41):
and the more we are just honestand teaching and including them
in the conversations, I thinkit's gonna benefit other kids
Totally.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But, pamela, like you are in our workshops that
Estelle and I do, when we dothem for people with
disabilities, one of the mainthings we talk about is humor as
a bridge right, and so likethat obviously isn't is part of
who you are.
Is is using humor and, you know, hopefully not self-deprecating
(14:12):
in a damaging way, butself-deprecating in a relatable
way for other people.
Like, look, I'm a person justlike you and when someone
doesn't focus themselves only ontheir stuff, then other people
don't focus on it either as much.
Right, like you clearlyobviously now are speaking about
it everywhere and verycomfortable and that lets people
(14:35):
feel like it's like safe forthem to share their stuff with
you.
So can you kind of tell us allright, so obviously, as a kid,
you you know people didn'treally understand trash.
Your family was learning itfrom more about it.
You know you're living life,blah, blah, fast forward.
You're in boarding school.
How did you get into thiscomedy thing?
(14:57):
And like, how did that, youknow, spill over into your
everyday world?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
so boarding school was what saved me.
I just like I'm joining theirboard of trustees, like I will
do anything for this school.
I think it's the greatest itwas in Burlington, vermont.
It was this hippie-dippy place.
It was not a school for kidswith disabilities, it was just a
place that, like, celebratedindividuality and creativity and
whoever you are, addedsomething to the community.
(15:24):
And when, like it, just it wasso beautifully set up and I was
an asshole.
Like I got to boarding schooland I was mad at the world and I
was snarky and I was funny butit wasn't channeled and I had
more detention than anyone elsethe school ever had.
And it was in detention whereone day a teacher asked me to
(15:44):
make a list of what I lovedabout myself.
And the teacher was in themoment.
He was present.
He saw what I didn't know howto find the words for right.
Like we tell kids ask for helpif you're depressed, if you're
experiencing suicide ideation,but it's so hard to ask for help
.
We don't teach people how toask for help and it's it's a
different right, it's adifferent tool for educators and
(16:07):
people who work with youngpeople to hear what we're not
able to say.
Yet I don't have the words, butI admitted that I had nothing
about myself that I loved.
And I admitted, by sitting infront of that list, terrified,
like just an empty list of whatI loved about myself, with truly
nothing to write on it.
And boarding school I won't tellthe whole story, but boarding
(16:27):
school put me on a journey tofind what I loved about myself.
Boarding school put me on ajourney to realize that I added
something to this world, even ifI didn't know it yet, and so
they were the ones that put mein in stand-up comedy.
I think they realized I was.
I mean, I look back at these.
Boarding school made me writeletters of apology to everyone.
(16:48):
I was a jerk too, because,again, you know, I think when
you think of me you might thinkof like poor, sad Pammy.
In reality, I was mean, I wasangry, I was like like a jerk, I
was pushing the world away forme, and they forced me to write
these letters of apology.
And I found them in my mom'sbasement and they are hilarious.
(17:09):
Like I had to have known I was.
They saved them for me, so theymust have known that I was, you
know, creative and funny andall of these things and I'm so
thankful that they, like, sawsomething that I didn't see yet.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yeah, well, we're.
What were some of those thingsthat you were able to start
adding to that list afterreflecting and having that
guidance from your, your, your,teachers so at first it was just
that I had a sense of humor.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
That was the first thing that I added to the list.
That was the building block.
Over years, I found more right,like at this point, I love that
people feel safe with me toshare what they're going through
.
Every night before I go to bedI look on my Instagram messages
of people who have heard mespeak or heard a podcast and
like just want to connect andshare with me and I love that,
(18:01):
like just existing people arestarting, like people are
learning to love what makes themdown, like by hearing my story
or hearing me speak or hearingme own it.
But humor was the first thing.
That for me and I guess Ididn't say it when you initially
asked me the story, but thatfor me was the thing that
started making me feel like Iwanted to stay and it's so funny
(18:25):
.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
well, no pun intended , but I feel like humor is
something that I have had todevelop as well with a
disability.
I think with disability there'sso many more opportunities to
work that humor muscle becauseyou kind of have to.
It's like there's so manymoments where like, well, I can
(18:47):
cry about this or I can laughabout this, or sometimes you
just have to use humor aswhether it's a protective shield
or to interact with peoplesocially, with your peers, to
laugh about the things thatmaybe are silly or look awkward.
Or I remember for me my friendsand I would be out and I would
(19:09):
just wipe out and fall.
Of course they would make sureI wasn't hurt and then we would
laugh about it.
Then I was able to laugh aboutit as well in a healthy way or
just kind of like profundateeach other.
I found that to be somethingthat was also a value to me
growing up as a child with adisability, that I was usually
(19:31):
the funny kid in the groupbecause of the disability right,
because I could laugh at myself, and then people felt safe to
laugh about themselves with me.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Being a kid is hard and awkward.
Being a human is funny andawkward.
In all of these things I reallyappreciate that.
I love finding moments oflevity and humor.
On the flip side, I acknowledgethat not everyone is going to
find this funny, especially ifsomething is new and hard.
I say it doesn't have to becomedy, it doesn't have to be
(20:02):
humor, but do something creative, because I think finding a way
to embrace your story isdifferent for everyone and
there's no right or wrong.
I know people who it's nevergoing to be funny to them, but
they're painting or they'rewriting, or there's poetry, or I
guess there are people who doathletic stuff.
That will never be me, butgreat, I'm glad that.
(20:23):
Going for a run is how youprocess.
What does it look like to findit in a way that works for you?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Yeah, find your outlet.
You made it through boardingschool.
When did you start stand upprofessionally?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Hold on, we need to go back to boarding school.
That's my biggest fear.
This boarding school thatyou're the board member of, or
whatever, it's opposite of whatI experienced.
You went to a therapeuticenvironment, even if it wasn't
not meant to be.
It just was like just to hippie, chill, be yourself, everyone's
(21:02):
accepted.
I went to boarding school forkids who are in trouble or
wealthy and their parents don'twant them there, or kids who are
locals and there's no goodschool.
That's why they go there.
We had very differentexperiences.
As an example, I was thevaledictorian.
There were only 12 of us and Ihad a B average.
(21:24):
That tells you anything.
12 people in my class co-ed 80students on the beach in Lake
Michigan beautiful.
But I was the valedictorianwith a B 3.0 average.
(21:44):
That was like when teachersgave you points because you were
curved.
It was probably like a D or anE.
Your school was bigger thanmine.
Before we move quickly past it,I think it's a really important
point because in your TED Talkwhich, by the way, it was
awesome we're going to put thatin the show notes as well for
(22:06):
people to be able to watch youand see you if they're able to
and listen.
It's really cool.
One of the things that was ahuge pivotal moment when that
teacher had you write that listIn your TED Talk you talked
about it wasn't like youinstantly were like oh yeah, I'm
funny, it was a process.
(22:26):
How did you and you start?
You alluded to it when we weretalking earlier about the funny
part about channeling that funny.
We'll be right back.
Speaker 6 (22:49):
This is George, fred and Jason, the co-leaders of
Speak, interrupting to say thatwe hope you're enjoying this
episode, but please make sure tocheck out our new show, the
Speak Podcast, another greatshow produced by Launchpad 516
Studios.
New episodes available everyweek on all of your favorite
podcast platforms.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Each Speak Talk is about six to ten minutes in
length, and the talks are givenin storytelling format.
There are three key moments ineach Speak Talk the moment of
truth, the moment oftransformation and the moment of
impact.
We host pop-up events all overthe world, and now we're
bringing our talks to yourdevice.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
Join us on the Speak Podcast as our speakers step
onto the stage and into thespotlight with impactful ideas
and stories.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
We'll let you get back to the show you were
listening to another greatpodcast from Launchpad 516
Studios.
You're tuning in to embrace itwith Laini Anastella, brought to
you by Launchpad 516 Studios.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
So how did you?
I want people to think, okay,maybe funny, being a comedian
isn't your thing, but everyonehas a thing that they're really
good at.
Or people tell them you know,you're so thoughtful, you're the
best gift giver, or you're socreative, whatever it may be,
(24:16):
and they just never channeled it.
They never, like, really honedin on that.
So take us from writing gettingin trouble and you know,
getting.
By the way, I also got introuble, but it was like being
in the woods doing things thatkids do in boarding school, not
for writing notes.
I don't know, we went tototally different boarding
(24:37):
schools.
So, anyways, take us to how didyou learn to channel your humor
in a way that was positive foryou and for other people?
And, yeah, share that please.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
I'm still a little bit on that journey, like I have
jokes that still I probably cannever do on stage because
they're just mean, angry at theworld, like they're a 15 year
old Pam again.
But boarding school signed meup for a ton of classes and
workshops to see what Iconnected with, and they were
the ones that put me in stand upand improv.
I loved it.
They got me writing jokes.
(25:16):
But I think a big thing was,you know, I wasn't just in
detention for those letters.
Those letters were a result oflike, in addition to detention,
I had to read apology lettersbut I, you know, was snarky and
mean and pushing back and thestaff decided that anything goes
, any bad language goes, if Iput it in my art, and that to me
(25:38):
like opened a world where I can.
I cuss on here.
Can I say bad?
Yes, I wrote a whole series ofpoetry called shit.
They told me I could use badwords and so I leaned in with
the shit series and I was myfavorite line.
So in order to like get it, ifyou've gotten trouble during
(26:03):
like, evenings and weekends, youhad to clean, you had to work
off, like your time cleaning.
And I remember my favorite linein a poem was the shitty clock
ticks as I tick and clean upshit.
Wow, and like it opened, liketo be able to know that I could,
I could play and I could saythe wrong thing.
(26:23):
And I had a presentation inhistory where I was told I could
be creative and it had words ona screen that I will never say
out loud.
It starts with a C, but it waslike the dirtiest word I could
think if I put a wholepresentation together about it.
And the history teacher Iremember being like I'm
uncomfortable, but you did theassignment.
(26:45):
I think that was huge.
They let me step over the line.
They let me find my footing.
They drove me to do stand up.
They drove me to do slam poetrynights.
Like it wasn't initially allstand up, it was just me being
creative, I.
They put me in a playwritingclass after I knew I loved being
(27:07):
funny.
So in a playwriting class Iused humor and I wrote a play
and it won the Vermont YoungPlaywright Festival.
Like I was just trying to findmy voice in in, but I knew it
was going to be through throughhumor.
But they really supported itand cheered me on.
They bought canvases and paintfor my room.
(27:28):
They mean, it was like they.
If.
I play the right of all yeahyeah, wow, really lucky, and a
lot of the kids who were therehad also gone to like wilderness
programs, therapeutic boardingschools and instead of going
home after it came here.
So we had, you know, kids withvarying needs.
We had kids who had been inrehab programs and wilderness
(27:51):
programs.
Um, we, we had kids who were inthe foster care system, and
then we had kids whose parentswere bajillionaires and kind of
everyone in between, and it wasreally this, just yeah, it was
just a really cool experienceand I was there for all four
years, wow, so your comedy thatyou do now because we definitely
(28:14):
want to get to the Netflixthing, so we're going to get
there.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
But your comedy, your current profession is a
comedian.
Is that right?
Like you make money as a man.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
I do more as the comedy and storytelling with a
message.
So really what I do more ofthese days is work with schools,
communities, corporate teamsand I combine comedy and
storytelling to share my storyand then give concrete tips and
tools to build a more inclusiveoffice college.
Whatever I still do, typicalstand up my typical stand up is
(28:45):
still filthy, like I do cleanwith this other piece that I do
of really comedy storytelling.
But when I'm back in New York Imet the comedy clubs just
working it out, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I love what you're doing with this amazing touring
helping kids, college students,whatever you know, telling your
story to get them to not onlyunderstand what it's like to
live with multiple disabilitiesyourself, but also to like
channel their own.
You know stuff right.
So take us to the exciting part.
(29:18):
Estella saw you on the JewishMatchmaker show which I watched
today.
I'm a little bit over today, soI'm so curious.
I was, you know, do youremember?
Like the first?
You're too young, but the firstmatchmaker on TV.
I forgot what her name was.
She was so funny and so pretty.
(29:38):
Yeah, I do remember.
Oh my God, what was thatmillionaire?
It was millionaire matchmaker.
Yeah, oh, I remember I remember,yeah, it was like yeah.
But then you know, then Istarted watching the other ones
and I was like, oh, this is soyou know you kind of like watch
shows at least I do based onlike what you're doing in life,
right?
(29:58):
So, like when I was dating, Iwatched dating shows.
When I was getting married itwas all about like marriage and
you know, whatever, and then itwas like baby shows and now I
have no interest in anything.
It's not so old, it's like, oh,what is there to watch?
That's shows, Like I don't evenknow, but anyways, Okay.
So I want to ask you those.
(30:19):
How did you get, like?
Did you apply to be on theJewish matchmaker show?
Did Netflix find you?
How did that happen.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Most people applied.
I did a show I mean I tour andso, like seven years ago, aliza
the matchmaker saw me perform inLA and ran up to me and was
like can I match you and I'm?
The journey to love Tourette'swas different for me than the
journey to love Tourette's indating, and so at that point I
(30:48):
was so career focused, I was Ilove Tourette's, but I wasn't so
comfortable dating with it andI kind of laughed at her.
I was like no, and we stayed intouch, though she, we Facebook
friended each other.
We had been kind of in touchthrough the years and she had
seen some jokes I'd posted aboutdating now.
So she knew now I was dating.
(31:08):
And so when she got the show,she told Netflix about me and
she called and said now are youdating?
And I said no, I'm dating.
And she gave me a call and saidhow would you feel about dating
on camera?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Okay.
So before we talk about theshow you dating, we talk a
little bit.
You know, I think one of ourepisodes that's the most
listened to was on dating.
I mean, people are veryinterested whether they're
single, whether they're newlysingle because they're divorced
or whatever, trying to date.
Do you do you assume, pam, thatPam I just said Pam, like we're
(31:43):
buddies you go by, pam, I go byeither.
Okay so, pam, do you assumepeople have Googled you and like
know about your stress, or doyou not assume that, like, how
do you approach dating with yourdisabilities?
Speaker 4 (31:58):
So I think the biggest thing for me is that I
don't.
It's not a one size fits allfor every date.
For everything I do, I've givenmyself agency to decide.
If I want to toning on a firstdate I have threats Great.
If I don't, that's great too.
I get to make a decision in themoment based on how I feel, and
that, for me, was really freeing, because for a long time I was
like trying to come up with theexact language and decide when I
(32:21):
would do it.
Was I going to do it beforeappetizers was going to?
You know what I mean?
Like when am I telling him?
And once I was like I can be inthe moment, like if we're
bantering and it's great and Ifeel like I can, I want to say
it Awesome, I'll tell them mythreats If, if I'm uncomfortable
, well, I'm not going to marrythat dude anyway.
So I like it.
I don't have to.
I don't have to be nervous orworried about that.
(32:43):
I don't have to be worried.
I don't have to, um, not sharemy worries or wonders.
Why I'm winking him a little bitextra.
Then that's on him.
Great, am I working?
Your favorite too?
You never know, it absolutelyhas worked in my favor.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Tourette's has become what's the, not my sidekick, my
, uh, oh, I'm just dropping.
Oh, I know what you're gonnasay.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
Yeah, I was just gonna say wingman, that's
hilarious, that is absolutelyhilarious.
And I don't assume they'veGoogled me.
I date a lot of comedians,which is like such a bad life
decision.
I'm aware, and I do know, thatfor the most part they know I
have Tourette's because I'm anopen book on stage, whether it's
a Speaking gig or kind ofstand-up gig.
(33:23):
So, they know, althoughsometimes they don't.
I like was on a show with a guyand Did a bunch of jokes about
having Tourette's and at the endof it he was like funny stuff
and I was like thanks, and hegoes.
And I saw you winking at me andI was like you don't even get
right.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
So what is Dating life like?
Speaker 4 (33:42):
for you.
Now I'm looking for the biggestthing is commitment to the bit.
I need a guy who can likebanter back and forth with me.
I want, if we've got an insidejoke, I want us to keep going
with it until it isn't funnyanymore and then keep going even
more until it circles back tobeing funny again.
I speak in sarcasm, so I want aguy who is sarcastic and can
(34:06):
hold his own.
I and besides that, I think I'mopen to a lot of things and,
like you know, I think we oftenthink that people with
disabilities are only datingother people with disabilities
and For me that's like if he hasa disability, okay, and if he
doesn't, okay, like right.
It's really about like thebanter, and I hate small talk.
(34:28):
I hate small talk.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
So I'm who likes it?
Who are there?
People that like small talk?
Speaker 4 (34:34):
I think people who are good at it, but like I want
to crawl.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah, so yeah, I'm so love match on Netflix.
I guess it was a friendshipmatch.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
We are, we keep in touch.
Yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yeah, I don't want to .
We don't want to spoil theepisode for people because we're
gonna include it, but so we'renot gonna say okay, okay,
whatever.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
But Going back to what Estella asked you dating is
can dating can be a nightmare,disability or not, like huge.
I think there's just a level oflike Rejection that you know,
even like I'm, I'm friends withsome really hot people and they
also get rejected and theyremind me of that and that makes
me feel great like not greatfor that, you know, like.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, we know what you mean, because a lot of times
people are like, oh, it musthave been my disability.
Right when Estella and I do likeskits in our workshops for,
like you know, our our thoughts,if we're not in a place we,
where we feel good aboutourselves, where we're still.
You know, in your TED talk youtalked about people staring at
you all the time and feelinglike people were always staring.
(35:49):
Like that woman is staring atme, she's staring at, she's
staring at my tracks.
She knows that I have trust.
We, and when we'reself-conscious and we're, like
you know, we're focused on ourDisability being a negative
thing, then someone else isgonna see it as a negative thing
.
But it sounds like what you dois you just put it out there.
(36:10):
It's part of your everyday life.
And you know what was my point?
Oh, I know.
My point was is that a lot oftimes people use their
disability as, like the excuse,like, oh, it must have been, I'm
not going to put myself outthere because no one would want
me because of my disability,because I went on three dates
and no one called me back, so itmust be my disability.
(36:31):
When, in fact, camilla, likewhat you said is like, oh,
you're hot friends, they mightnot get called back either.
They're not thinking, oh, it'sbecause I'm hot, no one's
calling me back, right, I'm?
Speaker 4 (36:44):
too hot.
I, you just in the dating worldyou're going to get rejected,
and it might.
It's the same as when Iaudition for things Like it
might just have been that I likewasn't exactly what they wanted
at that moment, but in sixmonths, maybe I'm great for a
different role or a differentpart.
And I think in dating like, weoften internalize the rejection
(37:06):
instead of like no.
And also I might be rejectingpeople Like I.
You know, at some point thisyear broke up with a guy I'd
been seeing, and it's becauseit's just, he might have been
great, might have been great onpaper, he might have been great,
for sure he's great for someoneelse, but he wasn't my match
and like it has nothing.
Like you know, it's nothing bador wrong about him, and so when
(37:27):
I can put that in perspective,then when I get rejected, it's
just I wasn't their match andthat's like a learning curve.
It's something I still strugglewith.
There are times where I am notdating because I don't feel like
my self-esteem is gonna begreat at handling rejection.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Yeah, and it's all about going back to that list of
things that you like aboutyourself and remembering that's
the core of your most importantrelationship, right, and then
from there you're able to kindof navigate your family
relationships, romanticrelationships.
I think that's a great tool foranyone out there who, whether
(38:05):
you're struggling withdisability or something else or
anything, it's just to have thatlist handy, maybe write it down
.
What are some other tools thatyou maybe share with the
students that you speak withthat we can share with our
listeners today on how to kindof build that resilience as well
(38:26):
?
Speaker 4 (38:27):
So I wanna add one thing that with dating, I
realized we all have something.
Everyone has something thatmakes life feel scary or messy,
or we're learning to love aboutourselves, or hard or
overwhelming, and so I go intoevery day like remembering that,
that like, yeah, for me I'vegot a few things, and a lot of
them are visible.
Tourette's Four Foot Six CurvyQueen.
There's a lot going on, buteveryone is working through
(38:53):
something.
Everyone is on the journey tolove themselves, whether they
know it or not.
And so, yeah, and that, becauseI knew I wanted to say that I
absolutely forgot your question.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Oh, I was gonna say, are there any other tools that
you share with the students?
Speaker 4 (39:12):
So I think a big thing and not just the students
with anyone is like what?
Make a list of what you loveabout yourself.
Start a list and if you haveone thing amazing, if you have
no things, that's also amazing.
What an important thing torealize.
Because realizing that youmaybe don't know yet what you
love about yourself is anindicator that, like, let's pull
in some supports.
Is it therapy?
(39:32):
Is it letting a friend groupknow, or a friend know, or
someone you care about, ateacher, if you're in school,
right, like and I asked myfriends that question Like I
love knowing what my friendslove about themselves, and if
they're, by asking that question, and especially like I used to
run a youth organization and Iwould ask all my teens this
(39:53):
question because, on one hand,if I know it, when things are
hard and they will get hard, Ican reflect that back in them.
And on the flip side, if someonedoesn't have anything they love
about themselves yet, I wannahelp you pull in supports to
find it, because it doesn'tmatter what age you are.
There's no too late to startthat journey and there are times
in my life where I have to goback to the drawing board and
(40:14):
say I'm not feeling funny rightnow.
I but a year and a half ago hada death in the family and like
just wasn't feeling funny orcreative, and so I went back to
the drawing board and I was likeI wanna find something else.
Let me go on a journey again tosee something else that I
connect with.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Okay, number five and six that we have in common.
I always say everyone hassomething like don't I get the
oh?
Speaker 3 (40:38):
it does all the time.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
And then, oh my God, I used to run a youth
organization.
I'm a social worker bybackground and my focus was on
teen self-esteem and body image,and it then evolved to doing
trendable and embrace it and allthat.
But we have so much in common.
Speaker 4 (40:58):
I love it, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
We're gonna have to hang out.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
I mean, okay, I just used a bad.
See, I just used a word thatwould be like ableist.
I just said it's crazy and itis, but it's not.
It is.
You guys know what I mean.
That was not good.
Anyways, okay, how can peoplefind you know more about you?
We're gonna put all the linksfor your TED Talk, for the
Jewish matchmaking episode, foryour website.
(41:23):
We're gonna put that in theshow notes.
But can you just let us know onNetflix, like, what is your?
How do we find?
Speaker 4 (41:28):
you there.
So Netflix.
I think I'm episode eight.
I'm not Netflix.
I'm sorry, I'm on.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Instagram, I'm not Netflix.
How do we find you on Netflix?
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Well, like Instagram.
I'm at Pamela Comedy.
My website is also at Pamela orPamelaComedycom.
My TikTok is Pamela Comedy.
So really, if you alsoliterally I think if you search
like Pamela Tourette's, you'regonna find me pretty quick If
you forget the handle, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Okay, and I know Lainey mentioned that you used
the phrase embrace it in yourTED Talk a few times.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
I'm mad at her.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Yeah, what is the term embrace?
It personally mean to you now,looking back.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
The term embrace.
It is like I'm always gonnahave Tourette's, I'm always
gonna be four foot six and ahalf, like I'm likely always
gonna have OCD.
So it's kind of accepting thetruth and building from there.
I can struggle and love myselfat the same time and so that's
it.
Love that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
So, it was so awesome having you on, pamela.
I mean, like everyone can feelmy enthusiasm for this because I
mean, first of all, we learneda little bit.
I didn't know much aboutTourette's.
I love to recap the fact thatthat boarding school experience
that one teacher made such animpact by having you think about
(42:55):
what you love about yourselfand then molding that natural
talent into something that helpspeople.
And I was thinking, as you weredoing that, like Astellah does,
that she works for anorganization that she cares
about.
She uses her creativity, hereverything to do what we do.
And like, if listeners wannahave a takeaway from this, it's
(43:18):
like think about what it isabout yourself that you
appreciate that other.
Maybe think about what would ifyou don't have that one thing.
Think about what would someoneelse say about you is something
they love about you?
And then, if you don't love it,maybe start finding ways to
accept it first and then love it, you know.
So we loved having you, pamela,and we're gonna definitely
(43:41):
connect again our past lacrossewith so many things we have in
common.
I mean we're bound to connectagain right.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
Thank you for the work you're both doing and for
having me today.
This was a ton of fun, thankyou so much, pamela.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
Well, thank you everyone for listening and we'll
be back soon with anotherepisode of Embrace it, but
please check out the show notesand follow Pamela, and we'll
speak soon.
Bye, hey, embracers.
Thank you so much for listeningand supporting the Embrace it
podcast Brought to you byLaunchpad 516 Studios executive,
produced by George Andreobelisand hosted by Laini Ispia and
(44:21):
Estella Hugo.
Our music and sound effects arelicensed through Epidemic Sound
.
Embrace it is hosted withBuzzsprout.
Do you have a?
Speaker 2 (44:27):
disability related topic you'd love for us to
feature, or could someone youknow be a fabulous guest on our
show?
We would love to hear yourcomments and feature them on our
next podcast.
So leave us a voicemail or youcan even send us a text to
631-517-0066.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
Make sure to subscribe to this feed wherever
podcasts are available and leaveus a five star review on Apple
Podcasts while you're at it,follow us at Embracet underscore
podcast on Instagram and makesure to follow all the great
podcasts produced by Launchpad516.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Studios.
We hope you join us next timeand continue to Embrace it.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.