June 28, 2024 • 35 mins
Join us for an inspiring conversation with Lacey Nager Ammerman, a Confidence and Certified Body Image Coach, as we explore the theme of becoming unstuck while living with a disability. Lacey, diagnosed with a chronic health condition at the age of 12, shares her personal journey of overcoming body image challenges and the fear of being seen. She shares her struggles and triumphs in dating, business, and self-acceptance.
Lacey's story is one of resilience and empowerment, highlighting the importance of confidence in achieving our goals, whether creating a successful business or finding a loving relationship. With over eight years of experience in coaching and entrepreneurship, Lacey provides valuable insights and practical advice for women facing similar challenges.
Tune in to hear Lacey's motivational journey and discover how you can show up confidently in your own life, regardless of health, disability, or body image concerns. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to overcome personal limitations and live a fulfilling, empowered life.
- Learn more about Lacey's Coaching
- Follow Lacey on Instagram
- Read Lacey’s Book
- Book an EmBRACE It Workshop
- Looking for more great tips, hacks, and blog posts? Visit: Trend-Able.com
- Find more on Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) and patient resources at: HNF-cure.org
- Follow us on IG! @embraceit_podcast | @trend.able | @cmtwegotthis
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Hosted by Lainie Ishbia and Estela Lugo.
Embrace It is produced by Launchpad 516 Studios.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Welcome to the Embrace it series, where women
with all types of disabilitiescan be real, resourceful and
stylish.
With each episode, you'll walkor roll away with everyday tips,
life hacks and success storiesfrom community leaders and
influencers.
So take off your leg braces andstay a while with Lainey and
Estella.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Hi, I'm Lainey and I have CMT, and I'm Estella and I
also have CMT, a neuromusculardisorder affecting approximately
2.6 million people worldwide,that's as many as MS.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We believe disabilities should never get in
the way of looking or feelinggood.
Both of us wear leg braces andhave learned through our own
personal journeys to embrace itBrought to you by Launchpad 516
Studios.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Each episode is designed to challenge your own
stigmas and beliefs arounddisability.
We want our listeners to getthe most value for their time
spent with us, so we interviewsome of the most empowering
disability badasses in the world.
Through storytelling, personalexperiences and tips, we're all
reminded of our own strengthsand endless potential.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
For more information and exclusive resources, check
out our websites attrend-ablecom and hnf-cureorg,
and don't forget to hit thesubscribe button for future
episodes and special promos.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Welcome everyone to another episode of the Embrace
it podcast.
Hey Lainey.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Hey, estella, we are just jamming with these.
This is another episode.
I'm so excited.
It's a nothing state episode.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I'm so excited, we are we are on a roll and this
next guest is also going to keepus empowered and moving and
keep the momentum going for thenew year, no matter what you're
doing career-wise or personally.
Her name is Lacey Naker Amerman.
(02:02):
She is a confidence coachliving with FSHD.
Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Lacey, thank you so much for having me, hi what is
FSHD D D.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Oh wait, FSHD.
That is the question of the day.
What is that?
Can you tell us a little bitabout you and what that is, and
when you got it, if you wereborn with it that kind?
Speaker 4 (02:30):
of thing.
Yeah, of course FSHD is a formof muscular dystrophy.
There are obviously a lot ofdifferent kinds of muscular
dystrophy.
This one in particular usuallyshows first, affecting like your
face muscles, your shoulders,your upper arms, and I was
actually diagnosed when I was 12.
(02:51):
You are technically born withit because it's hereditary I'm
guessing there isn't likecomplete done research on this
but something sort of triggersit.
That like happens because itdoesn't always show up, even
with people who are carrying thedisease.
So when I was 12, I wasactually playing summer softball
and I still remember my momtelling this story when we used
(03:12):
to go to the doctors before Iwas diagnosed, about how I was
running around the bases and Itripped over one of the bases
and I like could not get my legsunder me to stand up, and that
was when she was kind ofconcerned because she was
watching it.
So because it's a progressivechronic disease, my guess is it
had been kind of showing upbefore that, but that was the
point where it was enough thatit was making me trip and fall
(03:35):
more and the things that youactually kind of notice when
before you're diagnosed withsomething.
So over the next two years Ihad to stop playing sports
basketball, softball, soccer hadto stop dancing I'd been
dancing since I was three.
So a lot of limitations, sortof at that point.
And for me the muscles thathave always been affected the
(03:58):
most are like my quads and myhamstrings, which are your
biggest muscles in your body.
So you can imagine how manythings that would affect in your
daily life.
And it is a chronic,progressive disease.
There were years where I feellike I could pretend like
nothing was happening andnothing was wrong because it
wasn't so bad at that point.
And then there were.
I can very distinctly remembercertain points where there
(04:19):
seemed to be a decline and Iwould lose abilities, which is
very scary to notice that youcould do something two months
ago and you can't do it anymore.
So I would say over the pastit's been how old amI now 38.
So 26 years that I've beenliving with this and over the
past few years definitely moreof a decline.
I think part of that was COVIDand then I also had an ankle
(04:41):
injury which really sucked andthrew a wrench and things.
But at this point in my lifeI've definitely used certain
aids.
I would say like part-timewheelchair walker cane.
My husband obviously helps mearound and do a lot of things,
so that's very kind of him.
And full-time disabled person,but part-time using kind of
(05:02):
assistive devices.
Full-time disabled person butpart-time using kind of
assistive devices.
So walking long distances isvery hard.
Stairs are pretty much a no, soI'm always looking for ramps
and curb cuts and things that Ican not have to step up on.
I do fall randomly and it'sjust scary in the moment, but
also it's hard for me to get up.
So my husband helps me withthat sometimes.
(05:23):
Otherwise I pretty much needlike a chair or something to
help myself up with at thispoint.
So definitely a big differencebetween like when it started and
now.
And, like I said, you can kindof just see certain points in
the years where it wasn't so bad, it was kind of plateauing, and
then now it's been a littlemore limiting.
I would actually now say that Ihave a disability.
(05:43):
I didn't used to say thatbecause it didn't quite always
feel like that.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
So I'm at that point now and growing up with this.
Obviously there was a lot ofstopping activities at that age
of around 12 years old.
How did that emotionally affectyou and did you feel alone in
that process of imagining thatyou're the only one in your
family or within your socialnetwork of people that had a
(06:10):
disability?
And how did you start toaccumulate the resources and
things that you needed to do tokind of navigate disability at
such a young age?
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Yeah, I think I didn't navigate it.
We like didn't talk about it.
In my family it was.
I think people got the cue fromme of like I don't want to talk
about this, we're going topretend it's not happening for
as long as I possibly can, whichprobably wasn't the healthiest
way to deal with it.
Looking back, but yeah, I meanand I grew up in Vermont where
it's all Victorian houses andlots of steps and stairs and
(06:44):
like harder to get around, so Ithink I just ignored it as long
as I could.
I remember, even in college,being able to somewhat go up and
down stairs.
I walked around campus like itwasn't as big of a deal.
So and yes, I was the onlyperson that I knew that had a
disability I did not want to bedifferent.
That was like emotionally veryhard for me in school.
(07:05):
I just wanted to pretend itwasn't there and it wasn't
happening.
And then, obviously morerecently, that has not been the
case, I would say in the past 10years.
In 2013, I actually published abook, a memoir, about this and
that was the first time that Iever talked about it out loud,
really.
And I went.
I went to a couple supportgroups.
(07:25):
I found them not as helpful asI had wanted, so I kind of
stopped with that.
But I definitely from the book.
People have reached out to methat have the same disease.
You know, I know more people.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
But like, how rare is this disease Like?
So we, stella and I, andobviously people listening thank
you for listening, those whoare listening that have.
We have Charcot-Marie-Toothdisease, which falls under the
muscular dystrophy umbrella aswell, but it's more common than
people think.
Right, Like what is it, estella?
(07:57):
It's like one in-.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
One in every 2,600 people.
Yeah, like one in 20.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Yeah, so, and it's as common as MS, as people say.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
So Google tells me that it's four in a hundred
thousand people, so somewhatrare.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah, I'd say that's pretty rare.
So you wrote a book, a memoirthat united people and people
found you and we totally get howempowering it is to like meet
people Cause, like I met Estella, she was the first person that
I could relate to other than myown family that has CMT and it
(08:33):
was like that moment of oh mygosh, like you have what I have
and you know, hopefully peoplelistening embrace a podcast, you
know does that for you as well,which is what we hope.
Podcast, you know does that foryou as well, which is what we
hope.
What I'm so curious about Laceyis like how you went from like
denial then now wrote a memoirand then became like a person
(08:55):
who helps people withdisabilities, like with
self-esteem and uncoveringwhat's holding them back from
their potential in life.
That's what you do, right.
Yeah, can you tell us a littlebit about?
Speaker 4 (09:07):
that?
Yeah, that's a really goodquestion.
I think it just happened slowlyover a decade.
Maybe I just felt morecomfortable talking about it and
actually, now that you asked methat, I have a thought.
So when I started my businessin 2015, I started using my
story more because that wassomething that I was using in my
(09:28):
content, and so I feel like itdid become a little bit more
comfortable for me to talk aboutit, which was also really
helpful because I had a lot oftrouble talking about it in
dating and relationships, and sothen, when I was moving into
that realm, it got a little biteasier too.
But I think it just got to apoint where I couldn't ignore it
anymore and I couldn't pretendit didn't exist, and so I had to
be having the conversations toask for what I needed or ask for
(09:51):
help or ask for support if Iwas doing something that I
needed.
That.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
A lot of us have similar experiences where it's
exhausting, pretending likeeverything's okay and we just
get to a point where we justcan't do it anymore.
I don't want to do it.
So after publishing the book,what did?
I'm assuming you started tocreate more of a community right
and people started to resonatewith your story.
(10:17):
How did how did that also workinto your business, and where
did that idea to create acoaching business come from?
Is that something you werealways interested in or is that
something that disability playeda large role in?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Wait, wait.
I don't think we even toldpeople Everyone.
By the way, lacey is a.
What is your title?
We haven't even told them.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Yeah, I'm a Confidence and Certified Body
Image Coach, yeah.
So back to Stella's questionyeah, I think I Confidence and
Certified Body Image Coach, yeah.
So back to Stella's questionyeah, I think I kind of stumbled
onto coaching, but I sort of Imean, I've always worked in
government or nonprofit jobs, soI knew I wanted to do something
that helped people and I alsoreally wanted to work for myself
and I think part of that wasdisability related, but part of
(11:00):
it was like I just want morefreedom to work for myself.
So I stumbled on to coachingand I actually started working.
Originally it was likevisibility type coaching, just
women who are struggling to showup, because that was really
hard for me in my business toactually be seen and put myself
out there.
And then I realized it wasactually a deeper thing, these
confidence things and these bodyissue things, and so I sort of
(11:24):
kind of melded them all togetherand I definitely have like just
a special place in my heart forwomen who are have chronic
disease, who have disabilities,who have limitations, because it
does bring up completelydifferent things sometimes when
you're trying to grow a businessor show up in relationships or
whatever the thing is for you.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Lately there's been a lot of like there's different
coaches that I'm seeing for alldifferent types of things, like,
and that's different, you know,than a therapist, right, like,
so, a coach.
Well, maybe you could tell us,like, what is a coach?
Like, why would someone peoplewho are listening like what
would be different If I was likehaving struggling, just kind of
(12:06):
getting started?
Maybe I have an idea that Iwant to do something that I just
can't get going, or, you know,I feel like I want to work on
exercising and I just don't havemotivation, like what's the
difference between a therapistand a coach?
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Yeah, great question.
So there are coaches foreverything.
Like I literally know so manycoaches who do so many.
Great question, so there arecoaches for everything.
Like I literally know so manycoaches who do so many different
things.
So probably anything you everwanted to do in your life, you
could find a coach that wouldhelp you.
And I would say the maindifference between a therapist
and coaching, there are twothings, although I feel like the
line is kind of blurring alittle more these days.
One is that oftentimestherapists don't share a lot of
(12:43):
their own personal experiencewith you.
There's very clear lines basedon their schooling and the way
that they're kind of trained tobe therapists.
That's not always true incoaching, which I actually think
is really healing and helpfulfor coaches to share their own
experiences sometimes incoaching.
And then the other thing is andagain, this is not always true,
but oftentimes in coaching youdon't go backwards and kind of
(13:05):
like find the challenges thatgot you here and like do pass.
You know, inner child I mean wedo do, like a lot of us do
trauma work and inner child work, but it's not so focused on
that.
It's like where are we rightnow and where are the goals that
we want to get to and how do wetake the action steps to get
there?
And yeah, that might mean doingsome of that healing work, but
it's not like that's the focusright.
(13:27):
We're not trying to find likewhere this started when you were
five.
Necessarily, it's like how canwe get there?
And if we need to go back anddo something, we will.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
And so what would you say, based on your experience,
what are some of the things thatand we're not just speaking
professionally, right, this isnot just for entrepreneurs, this
episode, this is just foreveryone to start to reflect on.
What are the things holding usback in our life?
How can we start to identifythat?
How can we start to make stepsto get ourselves unstuck and to
(13:57):
move forward and to identifygoals that we want to put out
there and to start workingtowards them?
So what would you say are someof the things, especially in the
disability community, that yousee that are holding people back
from living the life that theywant to live?
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Yeah.
So I think what I see the mostand this is probably a little
bit biased, just based on thepeople that I work with and the
people in my communities, but itreally is the like not feeling
confident in whether, like you,can reach your goals, you can
get your results, not believingin yourself, not having trust in
yourself.
And then also the pieces aroundlike showing up and being seen
(14:35):
and being vulnerable and sayingwhat you need to say, asking for
what you need, and I think alot of that is also just female
identifying humans were sort ofraised in some of those ways to
not ask or show up certain ways.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
So I think there are other pieces that play as well
right, like not feeling likeyou're not worthy and so like I
don't need, like I don't want tobother someone.
See, I don't have this problem.
I literally not.
Actually, my husband apologizeslike all the time.
He's like oh, I'm sorry and I'mlike.
(15:10):
I've seen that I'm like Ireally feel like I'm worthy,
like I'm never I mean, Iapologize, obviously for things.
But what I like is really thefact that a coach can be like
hold you accountable.
A coach can literally be yourcheerleader.
You know a lot of people liketry to do these support groups
(15:33):
online and I've heard frompeople like and no offense to
Stella even like CMT.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Ours are awesome.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah, but all of them have, all of them are have good
things to them.
But the negative thing is isthat you, you know, oftentimes
there's negativity in the groupwith people.
Some people just complain tocomplain and and not necessarily
to help anyone.
I think the benefit of a coachis really like that one-on-one.
(16:01):
A therapist is not going totext you and say, hey, did you
like do the thing, did you startthe thing, whereas a coach
might have that ability.
They're not analyzing you,they're more motivating you.
Right, yeah, exactly, yeah.
And so, like Estella's questionabout, like, what is holding
people back?
In addition to feeling unworthy, maybe not being assertive,
(16:26):
what are some of the otherissues you find with people with
disabilities?
Come into a coaching sessionlooking for help with.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Yeah, so definitely some body image things, often
confidence things, like I said,and that could be confidence in
yourself or your work orwhatever, like your goals,
whatever you're doing, and Ithink the overarching which
actually I don't.
I've never met anyone that hasnot had this belief but there is
(16:54):
usually always a belief of notbeing good enough in some way in
some place in your life,usually from when you're a child
, and I think for those of uswith disabilities or different
abilities, that's often thething that makes us feel like
that Not always, but for me thatwas true, and so I think
there's always that piece, too,of not being good enough.
We need to do more, we aren'tdoing enough to get what we need
(17:18):
, or we're not being a goodpartner, or we're not showing up
the best as we can at our job,or whatever.
It's just those bubblingbeliefs underneath of the not
good enough piece.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So how would you guide a client out of that
mindset and start giving themactionable steps to move forward
and not feel like they're notworthy or go for it, take that
risk that they wanted to take?
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Yeah.
So that's a really goodquestion and I think it's a
little tricky because that's oneof also the benefits of
coaching is that it's ongoingwork.
Like often it's containeredinto like six month programs or
something, and so you're comingback to this thing a lot.
You could not do that in likeone session, you know.
So I think there is some deeperwork around that mindset wise.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
We'll be right back.
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Speaker 1 (19:05):
You were listening to another great podcast from
Launchpad 516 Studios.
You're tuning in to Embrace itwith Lainey Anastella, brought
to you by Launchpad 516 Studios.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Maybe like, why, like where that's coming from, why
can we figure out, like, whatrole that has for you, how it's
benefiting you which is always agood thing to look for, because
it always is, it's likeprotecting you in some way, what
it might like, what it mightlook like to not have that.
And then also, like I lovejournaling.
I don't know if either of youare journalers, but I'm a big
(19:41):
journaler and so journal promptsare really helpful too.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
For people who are listening, I know right, when
you hear the word journal,you're like oh, if you have CMT
or another type of disorderwhere it affects your hands,
like typing, texting is also aperfectly acceptable way to
journal.
You don't need the actual penand paper to write.
But actually my stepdaughter,who doesn't have a disability,
(20:06):
she told me some prompts thatshe uses every day, and one of
them in particular I loved,which was how have I taken care
of my body today?
And then another one was whathave I done for myself and my,
you know, today?
So, like those kinds of thingswhere someone might, you know if
(20:26):
someone is like, not like me,and apologizes all the time for
their existence, you know, howhave I shown up today?
How have I stood out?
What have I done to, like, putmyself out?
There might be a prompt, so Iget what you're saying.
It's probably just, you know,first of all, it's dependent on
every person and what they're.
(20:46):
What's holding them back, right?
Speaker 4 (20:49):
And I would say you could actually even do this in
your head if you had to.
I, some of us, like prefer thepen to paper or typing or
whatever, but like, if you wantto do this in your head, you
could.
I think it's just the practiceof like shifting that mindset,
of feeling like you're not goodenough to notice, like you said,
the things you're doing, thethings you're accomplishing,
what you're grateful for, what'sworking well, like those kinds
of things.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
And speaking of prompts, I was looking at some
of your your reels and you talka lot about decision-making and
people delaying decisions intheir life, and I think that's
really important.
I think it's such a great pointthat you make, because there
are things that sit in the backof our minds for years and years
Should I leave the job, shouldI leave the relationship?
(21:32):
Should I take up this type ofhobby?
And we don't make the decisionand then we don't commit to it
and then it never happens, right?
Can you speak a little bit tohow you get people to move on
those decisions and what's theimpact of not making decisions
and how can we get better atthat?
Speaker 4 (21:54):
I love that question, so I'm a little bit of a super
direct coach.
My coach always picks on me formy very directness and my
content and stuff.
But for me when we're notmaking decisions, we're
basically wasting the time.
So it's like you could be,let's say, you aren't starting
that business.
That's however many thousandsof dollars you could have made
from that business.
You're not leaving thatrelationship.
(22:15):
That's another person you couldhave been with that would have
been so much better for you.
You're delaying the joy and whatyou actually want by delaying
the decision, and so I thinkthat's the conversation that I
have with people a lot.
It's like what's the cost ofdelaying the decision?
And maybe it's a completelyokay cost for you and you're
willing to do the trade-off andwait a little bit.
(22:36):
Maybe you have to because ofother things going on in your
life.
That's okay, but it's reallyhelpful to just see that what is
the trade-off of waiting onthis versus actually doing it
now?
And so I think the best way tomove on decisions is being clear
of what you want and seeingwhat's getting in the way of
that, and then doing thattrade-off analysis and deciding
(22:57):
if that's something you are okaywith putting off and, if not,
get support from someone to helpyou move forward with that
accountability and actuallyshowing up to at least take the
first few steps, because theband-aid ripoff of the first few
steps is usually the hardestpart start by starting right,
like just taking one step.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
people can spend a very long time thinking about
the pros and cons, researchingeverything, making it perfect,
but a coach might be that personwho can help you to do that.
The first step in startingmight be to like hire a coach
like you, lacey, or someone elsethat someone else finds and,
(23:40):
speaking of that, you have anInstagram page, you have a
Facebook page.
You have all sorts of wayspeople can reach you if they're
interested.
Do you do virtual coachingaround, I'm assuming, anywhere
people were interested?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Yep, I do all my coaching via Zoom, so I've had
clients in Hawaii, I've hadclients in Australia.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
You can be anywhere and get in touch with me, and do
you just work with businessowners and entrepreneurs or does
this kind of apply to anyonewho's looking to just build
their confidence and moveforward and gain some momentum
in their life?
Speaker 4 (24:21):
I specifically work with female entrepreneurs.
So either on business showingup in business or who are trying
to show up in theirrelationships, but I still kind
of target that femaleentrepreneur population.
But what I would say is I knowhundreds of coaches and if
you're looking for someone, feelfree to reach out to me and I
can probably hook you up withsomeone who's looking, who does
what you are looking for.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
What exactly do you mean when you say you help
people show up?
What does that look like forsomeone, and how do we know if
we're showing up or not in ourlives?
Speaker 4 (24:51):
What I think of entrepreneurs.
I think of coaches,service-based business owners,
anyone who's doing stuff mostlyonline, but I've worked with
people who do a little bit ofbrick and mortar stuff too.
So the showing up piece isactually showing up on whatever
platforms you're using to market, putting your face out there,
potentially showing up on videoto sell your things.
(25:13):
Those are often the things thatpeople get stuck with when we
don't want to be seen and we'reworried that people are going to
leave mean comments or we'recomparing ourselves to everyone
else.
And then similar forrelationships.
Right, I feel that my coachingis very unique in the showing up
thing.
Usually it's confidence andbody image for relationships,
(25:34):
too.
We don't want to be seen.
We don't feel comfortable goingon those dates.
We have like anxiety beforeeveryone.
We don't feel like we're goodenough to find a good partner.
Like those are the things thatI am really passionate about,
just because I struggled in bothof those areas.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
We love anything regarding relationships and
dating with a disability.
Actually, we just had a greatpodcast with the Dateability app
founders.
What would be one thing, onepiece of advice you would offer
someone?
Let's say they're puttingthemselves out there on the
dating apps.
It's going to be Valentine'sDay soon.
(26:10):
They are ready to get out thereagain, but they have the
hesitation around having adisability or chronic illness.
What's you know one piece ofadvice you would offer?
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Let me think.
So I have two things that arecoming to mind.
One again is a journal prompt,and I know not everyone's into
journaling so I sometimes hateto only share journal prompts.
But the other thing is I lovemirror work, like actually just
looking at yourself in themirror and saying nice things to
yourself.
And looking at yourself in theeyes and saying things like you
know, I love you, I see you, Iforgive you, I accept you and
(26:45):
actually feeling that every day,like I do this every day, still
are such confidence buildersfor showing up in any any way in
any place in your life.
And I really do feel like thatstarts with us and kind of that
deeper inner work, which is whyI love sort of like looking at
yourself in the eyes and themirror to do that.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah, that's something we don't often do,
right?
I mean, we look in the mirror,we get ready, we do our makeup,
but do we actually look atourselves and then do we
actually have nice things to sayto ourselves when we are
looking?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
It reminds me of that movie too.
Now know, um and now I'm notgoing to remember the movie, but
it was such a good with AmySchumer and she looks in the
mirror and she sees like, atfirst she's insecure and she's
not showing up and she's liketimid, she's overweight or she
feels like ugly.
And so she, when she seesherself in the mirror, she sees
this ugly person, but then shelike, magically, there's like
whatever, this thing.
But it's mindset, right.
(27:45):
So something happened in themovie.
It shifted her mindset and then,even though she was the same
person she hadn't lost a pound,she looked no different.
She held herself higher.
Her shoulders were different.
She held herself higher, hershoulders were, you know, once
she thought of herself asbeautiful.
Her whole body language made it.
So others saw her as beautifultoo.
So obviously that's the wholegoal, right?
(28:08):
It's like you feel it, andpeople then are drawn to that in
relationships.
If you're looking for arelationship, you pretend to be
confident, you, and the more youpretend, the more confident you
become, and then the moreattractive you become to other
(28:29):
people.
See, I've solved all theworld's problems.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
You should be like a social worker or something.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I know, maybe I should go into it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, I love that movie.
I feel pretty it was.
It was, it was a fun movie.
But yeah, it really speaks alot to the power of of
self-confidence and how thatexudes into every area of your
life, whether that'sprofessional or or personal.
What do you have planned foryour future, lacey?
What's kind of your?
What are your big goals thatyou're reaching for through your
(28:59):
coaching or even personal?
Speaker 4 (29:01):
outside of that, yeah , so there are a few things.
One is that I'm actuallylaunching a program mid-year
that I'm very excited about,which is going to be a body
image, business and relationshipprogram, which I've never
combined before, but I feel likethis is my calling to be doing
all of this work together, andthe thread of confidence and
(29:21):
body image just runs through allof it so beautifully that I'm
like this is the thing I need tobe doing.
So that'll be happening later.
My goal is really just to helpwomen feel more confident in
their bodies so that they canshow up in their business, their
relationships, wherever that isfor them.
I just think it's such a hugething that so many of us
(29:44):
struggle with and I'm going tospeak for myself, but having a
disability was another layer ofthat for me and so I just think
it's so important for us to havelike these tools and be able to
kind of move through the worldin the way that we want, and so,
however, I can do that inwhatever way, and that may
change over the years.
You know, I'm not quite sureexactly what that looks like,
but I have ideas for retreatsand other things that could be
(30:07):
really fun to kind of do thatwork and it may branch out to
men or I'm not quite sure yet.
But the confidence piecebecause I think that is what
helps us relate to people, tocare about people, to not start
fights and wars and other thingsis actually having that
confidence within ourselves andfeeling good enough in ourselves
(30:28):
.
So it was kind of a big answer,but no it sounds incredible.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
And it sounds like something that's very much
needed today and, andincreasingly so, I think there's
just so much negativity aboutaround our physical appearances
and our body, and it's reallyit's people like you that are
helping people heal and pursuethe lives that they want to, and
(30:55):
obviously you're doing the samethrough your work and you're
very focused and in line withyour purpose.
I think that speaks a lot topeople as well.
When they're able to workthrough all of people as well,
when they're able to workthrough all of these barriers
and challenges, they're able totap deeper into their purpose
and the ways they can serveothers right.
(31:16):
Can you speak a little bit tothat and how that's unfolded for
you and maybe some of yourclients, and maybe just an
example of a success story?
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Yeah, let me start.
If I miss anything, feel free toask any part of that again.
Yeah, so I feel like the I thinkI think I always wanted to do
something that helped people,that I was a political science
major in college, so, andpsychology minor, so I like kind
of knew I was going to dosomething in governments or
nonprofits and I so I think thatwas kind of always there for me
(31:49):
.
I think what happens, though,is, as we start to feel more
comfortable with ourselves andlike being more vulnerable and
being able to show up the waythat we want in the world, we're
digging deeper into our actualdesires and like what we
actually want to do that maybewe were scared to do, or even
say out loud or start doing likewe were talking about earlier.
So I do think there's some ofthat work, when we're kind of
(32:12):
more in touch with who we areand comfortable being who we are
, that we're able to kind ofpursue our goals and our dreams,
and maybe they shift a littlebit, but then we still have the
courage to go after whatever'sshifting.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
I love that.
I think that when we have allof this internal ableism and
shame and all of these layersthat are covering our authentic
selves, it's really hard to eventhink about helping ourselves,
let alone helping other people.
So I think, by peeling backeach one of those, with someone
(32:45):
working with someone likeyourself or some other kind of
mentor or coach to really pushpeople outside of their comfort
zone right, it's hard to do thaton your own, but when you have
somebody along for the ride withyou, it makes it a lot easier
and approachable.
So congratulations on all thework that you're doing.
We encourage all of ourlisteners to check out Lacey's
(33:07):
website and social media.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Also we want to we end every podcast with this same
question.
We've been getting really goodat it and it's my goal for 2024
to do this every time.
So to close this out, lacey,can you tell us what does
embrace it mean to you?
Speaker 4 (33:28):
I'm going to go off.
What we were just talking about, I think embrace.
It for me is embracing who youare like, who you actually are,
that maybe you've been pushingdown or not putting out there
for decades or whatever, andactually having the courage to
show up and do what you want todo in the world and embracing
life and the way that that looksfor you and works for you,
(33:50):
which may be completelydifferent from anyone else, but
embracing your weird and yourdifferences and just showing up
as who you are so that you cando whatever you're meant to do
or want to do in the world.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Love it.
Fine, lacey, we're going to putlinks to her info in the show
notes and thank you so much,lacey, for joining us and for
adding some value and for givingthat great tip.
I love the mirror tip, becausejust looking in the mirror and
saying you are good enough,you're worthy, is a great way to
start your day.
(34:23):
So thank you for that and foreverything, estella, I love you.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Bye, everyone, bye, bye-bye.
Hey, embracers.
Thank you so much for listeningand supporting the Embrace it
podcast brought to you byLaunchpad 516 Studios executive,
produced by George Andriopoulosand hosted by Laini Ishbia and
Estella Lugo.
Our music and sound effects arelicensed through Epidemic Sound
Embrace.
It is hosted with Buzzsprout.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Do you have a disability-related topic you'd
love for us to feature, or couldsomeone you know be a fabulous
guest on our show?
We would love to hear yourcomments and feature them on our
next podcast.
So leave us a voicemail or youcan even send us a text to
631-517-0066.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Make sure to subscribe to this feed wherever
podcasts are available and leaveus a five-star review on Apple
Podcasts while you're at it.
Follow us at embraceitunderscore podcast on Instagram
and make sure to follow all thegreat podcasts produced by
Launchpad 516 Studios.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
We hope you join us next time and continue to
embrace it.
Welcome to the Embrace it series, where women
with all types of disabilitiescan be real, resourceful and
stylish.
With each episode, you'll walkor roll away with everyday tips,
life hacks and success storiesfrom community leaders and
influencers.
So take off your leg braces andstay a while with Lainey and
Estella.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Hi, I'm Lainey and I have CMT, and I'm Estella and I
also have CMT, a neuromusculardisorder affecting approximately
2.6 million people worldwide,that's as many as MS.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We believe disabilities should never get in
the way of looking or feelinggood.
Both of us wear leg braces andhave learned through our own
personal journeys to embrace itBrought to you by Launchpad 516
Studios.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Each episode is designed to challenge your own
stigmas and beliefs arounddisability.
We want our listeners to getthe most value for their time
spent with us, so we interviewsome of the most empowering
disability badasses in the world.
Through storytelling, personalexperiences and tips, we're all
reminded of our own strengthsand endless potential.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
For more information and exclusive resources, check
out our websites attrend-ablecom and hnf-cureorg,
and don't forget to hit thesubscribe button for future
episodes and special promos.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Welcome everyone to another episode of the Embrace
it podcast.
Hey Lainey.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Hey, estella, we are just jamming with these.
This is another episode.
I'm so excited.
It's a nothing state episode.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I'm so excited, we are we are on a roll and this
next guest is also going to keepus empowered and moving and
keep the momentum going for thenew year, no matter what you're
doing career-wise or personally.
Her name is Lacey Naker Amerman.
(02:02):
She is a confidence coachliving with FSHD.
Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Lacey, thank you so much for having me, hi what is
FSHD D D.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Oh wait, FSHD.
That is the question of the day.
What is that?
Can you tell us a little bitabout you and what that is, and
when you got it, if you wereborn with it that kind?
Speaker 4 (02:30):
of thing.
Yeah, of course FSHD is a formof muscular dystrophy.
There are obviously a lot ofdifferent kinds of muscular
dystrophy.
This one in particular usuallyshows first, affecting like your
face muscles, your shoulders,your upper arms, and I was
actually diagnosed when I was 12.
(02:51):
You are technically born withit because it's hereditary I'm
guessing there isn't likecomplete done research on this
but something sort of triggersit.
That like happens because itdoesn't always show up, even
with people who are carrying thedisease.
So when I was 12, I wasactually playing summer softball
and I still remember my momtelling this story when we used
(03:12):
to go to the doctors before Iwas diagnosed, about how I was
running around the bases and Itripped over one of the bases
and I like could not get my legsunder me to stand up, and that
was when she was kind ofconcerned because she was
watching it.
So because it's a progressivechronic disease, my guess is it
had been kind of showing upbefore that, but that was the
point where it was enough thatit was making me trip and fall
(03:35):
more and the things that youactually kind of notice when
before you're diagnosed withsomething.
So over the next two years Ihad to stop playing sports
basketball, softball, soccer hadto stop dancing I'd been
dancing since I was three.
So a lot of limitations, sortof at that point.
And for me the muscles thathave always been affected the
(03:58):
most are like my quads and myhamstrings, which are your
biggest muscles in your body.
So you can imagine how manythings that would affect in your
daily life.
And it is a chronic,progressive disease.
There were years where I feellike I could pretend like
nothing was happening andnothing was wrong because it
wasn't so bad at that point.
And then there were.
I can very distinctly remembercertain points where there
(04:19):
seemed to be a decline and Iwould lose abilities, which is
very scary to notice that youcould do something two months
ago and you can't do it anymore.
So I would say over the pastit's been how old amI now 38.
So 26 years that I've beenliving with this and over the
past few years definitely moreof a decline.
I think part of that was COVIDand then I also had an ankle
(04:41):
injury which really sucked andthrew a wrench and things.
But at this point in my lifeI've definitely used certain
aids.
I would say like part-timewheelchair walker cane.
My husband obviously helps mearound and do a lot of things,
so that's very kind of him.
And full-time disabled person,but part-time using kind of
(05:02):
assistive devices.
Full-time disabled person butpart-time using kind of
assistive devices.
So walking long distances isvery hard.
Stairs are pretty much a no, soI'm always looking for ramps
and curb cuts and things that Ican not have to step up on.
I do fall randomly and it'sjust scary in the moment, but
also it's hard for me to get up.
So my husband helps me withthat sometimes.
(05:23):
Otherwise I pretty much needlike a chair or something to
help myself up with at thispoint.
So definitely a big differencebetween like when it started and
now.
And, like I said, you can kindof just see certain points in
the years where it wasn't so bad, it was kind of plateauing, and
then now it's been a littlemore limiting.
I would actually now say that Ihave a disability.
(05:43):
I didn't used to say thatbecause it didn't quite always
feel like that.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
So I'm at that point now and growing up with this.
Obviously there was a lot ofstopping activities at that age
of around 12 years old.
How did that emotionally affectyou and did you feel alone in
that process of imagining thatyou're the only one in your
family or within your socialnetwork of people that had a
(06:10):
disability?
And how did you start toaccumulate the resources and
things that you needed to do tokind of navigate disability at
such a young age?
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Yeah, I think I didn't navigate it.
We like didn't talk about it.
In my family it was.
I think people got the cue fromme of like I don't want to talk
about this, we're going topretend it's not happening for
as long as I possibly can, whichprobably wasn't the healthiest
way to deal with it.
Looking back, but yeah, I meanand I grew up in Vermont where
it's all Victorian houses andlots of steps and stairs and
(06:44):
like harder to get around, so Ithink I just ignored it as long
as I could.
I remember, even in college,being able to somewhat go up and
down stairs.
I walked around campus like itwasn't as big of a deal.
So and yes, I was the onlyperson that I knew that had a
disability I did not want to bedifferent.
That was like emotionally veryhard for me in school.
(07:05):
I just wanted to pretend itwasn't there and it wasn't
happening.
And then, obviously morerecently, that has not been the
case, I would say in the past 10years.
In 2013, I actually published abook, a memoir, about this and
that was the first time that Iever talked about it out loud,
really.
And I went.
I went to a couple supportgroups.
(07:25):
I found them not as helpful asI had wanted, so I kind of
stopped with that.
But I definitely from the book.
People have reached out to methat have the same disease.
You know, I know more people.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
But like, how rare is this disease Like?
So we, stella and I, andobviously people listening thank
you for listening, those whoare listening that have.
We have Charcot-Marie-Toothdisease, which falls under the
muscular dystrophy umbrella aswell, but it's more common than
people think.
Right, Like what is it, estella?
(07:57):
It's like one in-.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
One in every 2,600 people.
Yeah, like one in 20.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Yeah, so, and it's as common as MS, as people say.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
So Google tells me that it's four in a hundred
thousand people, so somewhatrare.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah, I'd say that's pretty rare.
So you wrote a book, a memoirthat united people and people
found you and we totally get howempowering it is to like meet
people Cause, like I met Estella, she was the first person that
I could relate to other than myown family that has CMT and it
(08:33):
was like that moment of oh mygosh, like you have what I have
and you know, hopefully peoplelistening embrace a podcast, you
know does that for you as well,which is what we hope.
Podcast, you know does that foryou as well, which is what we
hope.
What I'm so curious about Laceyis like how you went from like
denial then now wrote a memoirand then became like a person
(08:55):
who helps people withdisabilities, like with
self-esteem and uncoveringwhat's holding them back from
their potential in life.
That's what you do, right.
Yeah, can you tell us a littlebit about?
Speaker 4 (09:07):
that?
Yeah, that's a really goodquestion.
I think it just happened slowlyover a decade.
Maybe I just felt morecomfortable talking about it and
actually, now that you asked methat, I have a thought.
So when I started my businessin 2015, I started using my
story more because that wassomething that I was using in my
(09:28):
content, and so I feel like itdid become a little bit more
comfortable for me to talk aboutit, which was also really
helpful because I had a lot oftrouble talking about it in
dating and relationships, and sothen, when I was moving into
that realm, it got a little biteasier too.
But I think it just got to apoint where I couldn't ignore it
anymore and I couldn't pretendit didn't exist, and so I had to
be having the conversations toask for what I needed or ask for
(09:51):
help or ask for support if Iwas doing something that I
needed.
That.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
A lot of us have similar experiences where it's
exhausting, pretending likeeverything's okay and we just
get to a point where we justcan't do it anymore.
I don't want to do it.
So after publishing the book,what did?
I'm assuming you started tocreate more of a community right
and people started to resonatewith your story.
(10:17):
How did how did that also workinto your business, and where
did that idea to create acoaching business come from?
Is that something you werealways interested in or is that
something that disability playeda large role in?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Wait, wait.
I don't think we even toldpeople Everyone.
By the way, lacey is a.
What is your title?
We haven't even told them.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Yeah, I'm a Confidence and Certified Body
Image Coach, yeah.
So back to Stella's questionyeah, I think I Confidence and
Certified Body Image Coach, yeah.
So back to Stella's questionyeah, I think I kind of stumbled
onto coaching, but I sort of Imean, I've always worked in
government or nonprofit jobs, soI knew I wanted to do something
that helped people and I alsoreally wanted to work for myself
and I think part of that wasdisability related, but part of
(11:00):
it was like I just want morefreedom to work for myself.
So I stumbled on to coachingand I actually started working.
Originally it was likevisibility type coaching, just
women who are struggling to showup, because that was really
hard for me in my business toactually be seen and put myself
out there.
And then I realized it wasactually a deeper thing, these
confidence things and these bodyissue things, and so I sort of
(11:24):
kind of melded them all togetherand I definitely have like just
a special place in my heart forwomen who are have chronic
disease, who have disabilities,who have limitations, because it
does bring up completelydifferent things sometimes when
you're trying to grow a businessor show up in relationships or
whatever the thing is for you.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Lately there's been a lot of like there's different
coaches that I'm seeing for alldifferent types of things, like,
and that's different, you know,than a therapist, right, like,
so, a coach.
Well, maybe you could tell us,like, what is a coach?
Like, why would someone peoplewho are listening like what
would be different If I was likehaving struggling, just kind of
(12:06):
getting started?
Maybe I have an idea that Iwant to do something that I just
can't get going, or, you know,I feel like I want to work on
exercising and I just don't havemotivation, like what's the
difference between a therapistand a coach?
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Yeah, great question.
So there are coaches foreverything.
Like I literally know so manycoaches who do so many.
Great question, so there arecoaches for everything.
Like I literally know so manycoaches who do so many different
things.
So probably anything you everwanted to do in your life, you
could find a coach that wouldhelp you.
And I would say the maindifference between a therapist
and coaching, there are twothings, although I feel like the
line is kind of blurring alittle more these days.
One is that oftentimestherapists don't share a lot of
(12:43):
their own personal experiencewith you.
There's very clear lines basedon their schooling and the way
that they're kind of trained tobe therapists.
That's not always true incoaching, which I actually think
is really healing and helpfulfor coaches to share their own
experiences sometimes incoaching.
And then the other thing is andagain, this is not always true,
but oftentimes in coaching youdon't go backwards and kind of
(13:05):
like find the challenges thatgot you here and like do pass.
You know, inner child I mean wedo do, like a lot of us do
trauma work and inner child work, but it's not so focused on
that.
It's like where are we rightnow and where are the goals that
we want to get to and how do wetake the action steps to get
there?
And yeah, that might mean doingsome of that healing work, but
it's not like that's the focusright.
(13:27):
We're not trying to find likewhere this started when you were
five.
Necessarily, it's like how canwe get there?
And if we need to go back anddo something, we will.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
And so what would you say, based on your experience,
what are some of the things thatand we're not just speaking
professionally, right, this isnot just for entrepreneurs, this
episode, this is just foreveryone to start to reflect on.
What are the things holding usback in our life?
How can we start to identifythat?
How can we start to make stepsto get ourselves unstuck and to
(13:57):
move forward and to identifygoals that we want to put out
there and to start workingtowards them?
So what would you say are someof the things, especially in the
disability community, that yousee that are holding people back
from living the life that theywant to live?
Speaker 4 (14:14):
Yeah.
So I think what I see the mostand this is probably a little
bit biased, just based on thepeople that I work with and the
people in my communities, but itreally is the like not feeling
confident in whether, like you,can reach your goals, you can
get your results, not believingin yourself, not having trust in
yourself.
And then also the pieces aroundlike showing up and being seen
(14:35):
and being vulnerable and sayingwhat you need to say, asking for
what you need, and I think alot of that is also just female
identifying humans were sort ofraised in some of those ways to
not ask or show up certain ways.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
So I think there are other pieces that play as well
right, like not feeling likeyou're not worthy and so like I
don't need, like I don't want tobother someone.
See, I don't have this problem.
I literally not.
Actually, my husband apologizeslike all the time.
He's like oh, I'm sorry and I'mlike.
(15:10):
I've seen that I'm like Ireally feel like I'm worthy,
like I'm never I mean, Iapologize, obviously for things.
But what I like is really thefact that a coach can be like
hold you accountable.
A coach can literally be yourcheerleader.
You know a lot of people liketry to do these support groups
(15:33):
online and I've heard frompeople like and no offense to
Stella even like CMT.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Ours are awesome.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah, but all of them have, all of them are have good
things to them.
But the negative thing is isthat you, you know, oftentimes
there's negativity in the groupwith people.
Some people just complain tocomplain and and not necessarily
to help anyone.
I think the benefit of a coachis really like that one-on-one.
(16:01):
A therapist is not going totext you and say, hey, did you
like do the thing, did you startthe thing, whereas a coach
might have that ability.
They're not analyzing you,they're more motivating you.
Right, yeah, exactly, yeah.
And so, like Estella's questionabout, like, what is holding
people back?
In addition to feeling unworthy, maybe not being assertive,
(16:26):
what are some of the otherissues you find with people with
disabilities?
Come into a coaching sessionlooking for help with.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
Yeah, so definitely some body image things, often
confidence things, like I said,and that could be confidence in
yourself or your work orwhatever, like your goals,
whatever you're doing, and Ithink the overarching which
actually I don't.
I've never met anyone that hasnot had this belief but there is
(16:54):
usually always a belief of notbeing good enough in some way in
some place in your life,usually from when you're a child
, and I think for those of uswith disabilities or different
abilities, that's often thething that makes us feel like
that Not always, but for me thatwas true, and so I think
there's always that piece, too,of not being good enough.
We need to do more, we aren'tdoing enough to get what we need
(17:18):
, or we're not being a goodpartner, or we're not showing up
the best as we can at our job,or whatever.
It's just those bubblingbeliefs underneath of the not
good enough piece.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So how would you guide a client out of that
mindset and start giving themactionable steps to move forward
and not feel like they're notworthy or go for it, take that
risk that they wanted to take?
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Yeah.
So that's a really goodquestion and I think it's a
little tricky because that's oneof also the benefits of
coaching is that it's ongoingwork.
Like often it's containeredinto like six month programs or
something, and so you're comingback to this thing a lot.
You could not do that in likeone session, you know.
So I think there is some deeperwork around that mindset wise.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
This is George, fred and Jason, the co-leaders of
Speak, interrupting to say thatwe hope you're enjoying this
episode, but please make sure tocheck out our new show, the
Speak Podcast, another greatshow produced by Launchpad 516
Studios.
New episodes available everyweek on all of your favorite
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Speaker 6 (18:34):
Each Speak talk is about six to ten minutes in
length, and the talks are givenin storytelling format.
There are three key moments ineach Speak Talk the moment of
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Speaker 5 (18:54):
Join us on the Speak podcast as our speakers step
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Speaker 1 (19:05):
You were listening to another great podcast from
Launchpad 516 Studios.
You're tuning in to Embrace itwith Lainey Anastella, brought
to you by Launchpad 516 Studios.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Maybe like, why, like where that's coming from, why
can we figure out, like, whatrole that has for you, how it's
benefiting you which is always agood thing to look for, because
it always is, it's likeprotecting you in some way, what
it might like, what it mightlook like to not have that.
And then also, like I lovejournaling.
I don't know if either of youare journalers, but I'm a big
(19:41):
journaler and so journal promptsare really helpful too.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
For people who are listening, I know right, when
you hear the word journal,you're like oh, if you have CMT
or another type of disorderwhere it affects your hands,
like typing, texting is also aperfectly acceptable way to
journal.
You don't need the actual penand paper to write.
But actually my stepdaughter,who doesn't have a disability,
(20:06):
she told me some prompts thatshe uses every day, and one of
them in particular I loved,which was how have I taken care
of my body today?
And then another one was whathave I done for myself and my,
you know, today?
So, like those kinds of thingswhere someone might, you know if
(20:26):
someone is like, not like me,and apologizes all the time for
their existence, you know, howhave I shown up today?
How have I stood out?
What have I done to, like, putmyself out?
There might be a prompt, so Iget what you're saying.
It's probably just, you know,first of all, it's dependent on
every person and what they're.
(20:46):
What's holding them back, right?
Speaker 4 (20:49):
And I would say you could actually even do this in
your head if you had to.
I, some of us, like prefer thepen to paper or typing or
whatever, but like, if you wantto do this in your head, you
could.
I think it's just the practiceof like shifting that mindset,
of feeling like you're not goodenough to notice, like you said,
the things you're doing, thethings you're accomplishing,
what you're grateful for, what'sworking well, like those kinds
of things.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
And speaking of prompts, I was looking at some
of your your reels and you talka lot about decision-making and
people delaying decisions intheir life, and I think that's
really important.
I think it's such a great pointthat you make, because there
are things that sit in the backof our minds for years and years
Should I leave the job, shouldI leave the relationship?
(21:32):
Should I take up this type ofhobby?
And we don't make the decisionand then we don't commit to it
and then it never happens, right?
Can you speak a little bit tohow you get people to move on
those decisions and what's theimpact of not making decisions
and how can we get better atthat?
Speaker 4 (21:54):
I love that question, so I'm a little bit of a super
direct coach.
My coach always picks on me formy very directness and my
content and stuff.
But for me when we're notmaking decisions, we're
basically wasting the time.
So it's like you could be,let's say, you aren't starting
that business.
That's however many thousandsof dollars you could have made
from that business.
You're not leaving thatrelationship.
(22:15):
That's another person you couldhave been with that would have
been so much better for you.
You're delaying the joy and whatyou actually want by delaying
the decision, and so I thinkthat's the conversation that I
have with people a lot.
It's like what's the cost ofdelaying the decision?
And maybe it's a completelyokay cost for you and you're
willing to do the trade-off andwait a little bit.
(22:36):
Maybe you have to because ofother things going on in your
life.
That's okay, but it's reallyhelpful to just see that what is
the trade-off of waiting onthis versus actually doing it
now?
And so I think the best way tomove on decisions is being clear
of what you want and seeingwhat's getting in the way of
that, and then doing thattrade-off analysis and deciding
(22:57):
if that's something you are okaywith putting off and, if not,
get support from someone to helpyou move forward with that
accountability and actuallyshowing up to at least take the
first few steps, because theband-aid ripoff of the first few
steps is usually the hardestpart start by starting right,
like just taking one step.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
people can spend a very long time thinking about
the pros and cons, researchingeverything, making it perfect,
but a coach might be that personwho can help you to do that.
The first step in startingmight be to like hire a coach
like you, lacey, or someone elsethat someone else finds and,
(23:40):
speaking of that, you have anInstagram page, you have a
Facebook page.
You have all sorts of wayspeople can reach you if they're
interested.
Do you do virtual coachingaround, I'm assuming, anywhere
people were interested?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Yep, I do all my coaching via Zoom, so I've had
clients in Hawaii, I've hadclients in Australia.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
You can be anywhere and get in touch with me, and do
you just work with businessowners and entrepreneurs or does
this kind of apply to anyonewho's looking to just build
their confidence and moveforward and gain some momentum
in their life?
Speaker 4 (24:21):
I specifically work with female entrepreneurs.
So either on business showingup in business or who are trying
to show up in theirrelationships, but I still kind
of target that femaleentrepreneur population.
But what I would say is I knowhundreds of coaches and if
you're looking for someone, feelfree to reach out to me and I
can probably hook you up withsomeone who's looking, who does
what you are looking for.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
What exactly do you mean when you say you help
people show up?
What does that look like forsomeone, and how do we know if
we're showing up or not in ourlives?
Speaker 4 (24:51):
What I think of entrepreneurs.
I think of coaches,service-based business owners,
anyone who's doing stuff mostlyonline, but I've worked with
people who do a little bit ofbrick and mortar stuff too.
So the showing up piece isactually showing up on whatever
platforms you're using to market, putting your face out there,
potentially showing up on videoto sell your things.
(25:13):
Those are often the things thatpeople get stuck with when we
don't want to be seen and we'reworried that people are going to
leave mean comments or we'recomparing ourselves to everyone
else.
And then similar forrelationships.
Right, I feel that my coachingis very unique in the showing up
thing.
Usually it's confidence andbody image for relationships,
(25:34):
too.
We don't want to be seen.
We don't feel comfortable goingon those dates.
We have like anxiety beforeeveryone.
We don't feel like we're goodenough to find a good partner.
Like those are the things thatI am really passionate about,
just because I struggled in bothof those areas.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
We love anything regarding relationships and
dating with a disability.
Actually, we just had a greatpodcast with the Dateability app
founders.
What would be one thing, onepiece of advice you would offer
someone?
Let's say they're puttingthemselves out there on the
dating apps.
It's going to be Valentine'sDay soon.
(26:10):
They are ready to get out thereagain, but they have the
hesitation around having adisability or chronic illness.
What's you know one piece ofadvice you would offer?
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Let me think.
So I have two things that arecoming to mind.
One again is a journal prompt,and I know not everyone's into
journaling so I sometimes hateto only share journal prompts.
But the other thing is I lovemirror work, like actually just
looking at yourself in themirror and saying nice things to
yourself.
And looking at yourself in theeyes and saying things like you
know, I love you, I see you, Iforgive you, I accept you and
(26:45):
actually feeling that every day,like I do this every day, still
are such confidence buildersfor showing up in any any way in
any place in your life.
And I really do feel like thatstarts with us and kind of that
deeper inner work, which is whyI love sort of like looking at
yourself in the eyes and themirror to do that.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah, that's something we don't often do,
right?
I mean, we look in the mirror,we get ready, we do our makeup,
but do we actually look atourselves and then do we
actually have nice things to sayto ourselves when we are
looking?
Speaker 3 (27:23):
It reminds me of that movie too.
Now know, um and now I'm notgoing to remember the movie, but
it was such a good with AmySchumer and she looks in the
mirror and she sees like, atfirst she's insecure and she's
not showing up and she's liketimid, she's overweight or she
feels like ugly.
And so she, when she seesherself in the mirror, she sees
this ugly person, but then shelike, magically, there's like
whatever, this thing.
But it's mindset, right.
(27:45):
So something happened in themovie.
It shifted her mindset and then,even though she was the same
person she hadn't lost a pound,she looked no different.
She held herself higher.
Her shoulders were different.
She held herself higher, hershoulders were, you know, once
she thought of herself asbeautiful.
Her whole body language made it.
So others saw her as beautifultoo.
So obviously that's the wholegoal, right?
(28:08):
It's like you feel it, andpeople then are drawn to that in
relationships.
If you're looking for arelationship, you pretend to be
confident, you, and the more youpretend, the more confident you
become, and then the moreattractive you become to other
(28:29):
people.
See, I've solved all theworld's problems.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
You should be like a social worker or something.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I know, maybe I should go into it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, I love that movie.
I feel pretty it was.
It was, it was a fun movie.
But yeah, it really speaks alot to the power of of
self-confidence and how thatexudes into every area of your
life, whether that'sprofessional or or personal.
What do you have planned foryour future, lacey?
What's kind of your?
What are your big goals thatyou're reaching for through your
(28:59):
coaching or even personal?
Speaker 4 (29:01):
outside of that, yeah , so there are a few things.
One is that I'm actuallylaunching a program mid-year
that I'm very excited about,which is going to be a body
image, business and relationshipprogram, which I've never
combined before, but I feel likethis is my calling to be doing
all of this work together, andthe thread of confidence and
(29:21):
body image just runs through allof it so beautifully that I'm
like this is the thing I need tobe doing.
So that'll be happening later.
My goal is really just to helpwomen feel more confident in
their bodies so that they canshow up in their business, their
relationships, wherever that isfor them.
I just think it's such a hugething that so many of us
(29:44):
struggle with and I'm going tospeak for myself, but having a
disability was another layer ofthat for me and so I just think
it's so important for us to havelike these tools and be able to
kind of move through the worldin the way that we want, and so,
however, I can do that inwhatever way, and that may
change over the years.
You know, I'm not quite sureexactly what that looks like,
but I have ideas for retreatsand other things that could be
(30:07):
really fun to kind of do thatwork and it may branch out to
men or I'm not quite sure yet.
But the confidence piecebecause I think that is what
helps us relate to people, tocare about people, to not start
fights and wars and other thingsis actually having that
confidence within ourselves andfeeling good enough in ourselves
(30:28):
.
So it was kind of a big answer,but no it sounds incredible.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
And it sounds like something that's very much
needed today and, andincreasingly so, I think there's
just so much negativity aboutaround our physical appearances
and our body, and it's reallyit's people like you that are
helping people heal and pursuethe lives that they want to, and
(30:55):
obviously you're doing the samethrough your work and you're
very focused and in line withyour purpose.
I think that speaks a lot topeople as well.
When they're able to workthrough all of people as well,
when they're able to workthrough all of these barriers
and challenges, they're able totap deeper into their purpose
and the ways they can serveothers right.
(31:16):
Can you speak a little bit tothat and how that's unfolded for
you and maybe some of yourclients, and maybe just an
example of a success story?
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Yeah, let me start.
If I miss anything, feel free toask any part of that again.
Yeah, so I feel like the I thinkI think I always wanted to do
something that helped people,that I was a political science
major in college, so, andpsychology minor, so I like kind
of knew I was going to dosomething in governments or
nonprofits and I so I think thatwas kind of always there for me
(31:49):
.
I think what happens, though,is, as we start to feel more
comfortable with ourselves andlike being more vulnerable and
being able to show up the waythat we want in the world, we're
digging deeper into our actualdesires and like what we
actually want to do that maybewe were scared to do, or even
say out loud or start doing likewe were talking about earlier.
So I do think there's some ofthat work, when we're kind of
(32:12):
more in touch with who we areand comfortable being who we are
, that we're able to kind ofpursue our goals and our dreams,
and maybe they shift a littlebit, but then we still have the
courage to go after whatever'sshifting.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
I love that.
I think that when we have allof this internal ableism and
shame and all of these layersthat are covering our authentic
selves, it's really hard to eventhink about helping ourselves,
let alone helping other people.
So I think, by peeling backeach one of those, with someone
(32:45):
working with someone likeyourself or some other kind of
mentor or coach to really pushpeople outside of their comfort
zone right, it's hard to do thaton your own, but when you have
somebody along for the ride withyou, it makes it a lot easier
and approachable.
So congratulations on all thework that you're doing.
We encourage all of ourlisteners to check out Lacey's
(33:07):
website and social media.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Also we want to we end every podcast with this same
question.
We've been getting really goodat it and it's my goal for 2024
to do this every time.
So to close this out, lacey,can you tell us what does
embrace it mean to you?
Speaker 4 (33:28):
I'm going to go off.
What we were just talking about, I think embrace.
It for me is embracing who youare like, who you actually are,
that maybe you've been pushingdown or not putting out there
for decades or whatever, andactually having the courage to
show up and do what you want todo in the world and embracing
life and the way that that looksfor you and works for you,
(33:50):
which may be completelydifferent from anyone else, but
embracing your weird and yourdifferences and just showing up
as who you are so that you cando whatever you're meant to do
or want to do in the world.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Love it.
Fine, lacey, we're going to putlinks to her info in the show
notes and thank you so much,lacey, for joining us and for
adding some value and for givingthat great tip.
I love the mirror tip, becausejust looking in the mirror and
saying you are good enough,you're worthy, is a great way to
start your day.
(34:23):
So thank you for that and foreverything, estella, I love you.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Bye, everyone, bye, bye-bye.
Hey, embracers.
Thank you so much for listeningand supporting the Embrace it
podcast brought to you byLaunchpad 516 Studios executive,
produced by George Andriopoulosand hosted by Laini Ishbia and
Estella Lugo.
Our music and sound effects arelicensed through Epidemic Sound
Embrace.
It is hosted with Buzzsprout.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Do you have a disability-related topic you'd
love for us to feature, or couldsomeone you know be a fabulous
guest on our show?
We would love to hear yourcomments and feature them on our
next podcast.
So leave us a voicemail or youcan even send us a text to
631-517-0066.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Make sure to subscribe to this feed wherever
podcasts are available and leaveus a five-star review on Apple
Podcasts while you're at it.
Follow us at embraceitunderscore podcast on Instagram
and make sure to follow all thegreat podcasts produced by
Launchpad 516 Studios.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
We hope you join us next time and continue to
embrace it.
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