ETB 50: Embracing the Struggles and Triumphs of Caring for Special Children: The Toenail Odyssey

ETB 50: Ever tried to trim a child's toenails? Now imagine that child has sensory issues that make the task as perilous and nerve-wracking as a high-wire act. Join me, Sandy Deppisch in this candid discussion on Embrace the Blessing podcast, where we navigate the choppy waters of personal grooming for children with disabilities, specifically, trimming toenails. We share my personal struggle with my son Josiah's toenail trimming, a task that ended with exhaustion and frustration, yet also highlighted the resilience and strength of such special children.

In this heartfelt narrative, we unravel the remarkable spirit of children like Josiah who, despite their daily challenges, possess an amazing capacity for joy and happiness. This episode is also a sincere appeal to listeners who might have figured out the remedy for this seemingly mundane but complex task. It's a peek into a day in the life of a parent of a child with disabilities, an opportunity to glean insights on handling similar challenges, and an invitation to marvel at and draw inspiration from the strength and resilience of these special children. Join us as we traverse the joys, the struggles, the victories, and the constant quest for solutions on this extraordinary path less traveled.

Connect with Sandy:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/sandydeppisch
Embrace the Blessing Facebook Group: http://bit.ly/ETB4ME
Website: http://www.embracetheblessing.com/

Episode Transcript

Sandy Deppisch (00:05):
Hey there, I'm Sandy Deppish, and this is the
Embrace the Blessing podcast.
Each week, I talk with a parentwho has a child with a
disability.
They share their biggestchallenge, their greatest joy
and their hopes and dreams forthe future.
You'll learn about resourcesavailable to you and discover
helpful hints and tips If youwant to be inspired and

(00:27):
encouraged, stick around.
Let's walk the road lesstraveled together.
Okay, so this week I wanted toshare an excerpt from one of the
blog posts that I did back inJune of 2021.

(00:47):
The reason I want to share thisis because this seems to be an
issue that many parents thathave a child with disabilities
faces, and so far, we have notfound a remedy for this
situation.
So I'm putting this out therein the hopes that one of our
listeners has already figuredout the solution to this problem
and will readily share it withus, so that those of us who are

(01:09):
still struggling will have somesuccess in this area.
What I'm talking about istrimming toenails.
Fingernails are an issue in andof themselves, but with lots of
perseverance and lots of trialand error, we've been able to
get my son's fingernails trimmed.
It's not pretty, but it's whatI would consider a success.

(01:31):
However, when we're talkingabout toenails, oh my goodness,
guys, this is an entirelydifferent ballgame.
It's just extremely challengingand it's something that has to
be done.
So I'm going to share the blogpost that I wrote.
I'll read it to you guys andthen, if anybody has an answer,
please comment below.

(01:54):
Nail care nightmares.
Can any of you relate?
Your loved ones' nails areincredibly long, desperately in
need of a major trim.
For the purposes of thisscenario, we'll stick to
toenails.
Lovely, glorious Lord, why dothey have to grow so fast?
Toenails?
Have you ever seen such nails?
Can you picture in your mindwhat they look like?

(02:16):
Let me just add they are thick.
Now imagine it's your task totrim those nails to a neatly
manicured length.
And imagine your loved one hasno desire for you to get within
even six football fields of hisfeet, let alone up close and
personal to his toes.
Imagine attempting to trim notjust one, but all ten of those

(02:39):
toenails.
It's paramount to risking lifeand limb.
Are you up for the challenge?
Quite frankly, I'm not.
I've tried many times, actually, not that long ago, it took
four of us to get the job done.
Three of us to hold Josiah witha whisperer clipping feverishly

(02:59):
, while also tightly grippingthe boy so he wouldn't slip away
.
All of us, including Josiah,were sweaty and exhausted
afterwards.
Surely this can't be the wayit's done, is it?
What do you do If this is oneof your assigned tasks as a
parent or a caregiver of someonewith sensory issues?
Please share, I am all ears.

(03:21):
What tips or techniques haveyou discovered that make the job
easier?
Last night, when Rick and Ireturned from dinner out, josiah
was shrieking in the bathroom.
It was very clear by the thrustof his tongue he was mad.
When Josiah gets angry, hesticks his tongue out and
scrunches it up in such a waythere is no mistaking he's not

(03:42):
having it.
Whatever it is, that protrudingtongue is usually our first
indicator that Josiah is not inpain.
He's angry.
Apparently, the whisperer hadgreat success clipping the
toenails on one foot.
Things were going great, whichin and of itself is a huge
accomplishment and something tobe celebrated.

(04:02):
It's taken months and months toget to this point.
However, as soon as the big toeon the other foot was trimmed,
josiah exploded.
He went into attack mode onhimself and on the whisperer.
We weren't there to witness it,but it sounds pretty brutal.
Whatever it was that trippedJosiah off, sent him into such a

(04:24):
tailspin.
He had great difficultyrecovering from it.
There was wailing and gnashingof teeth.
There were racking sobs andreal tears.
Josiah rarely sheds real tears.
We put him to bed and tried tocomfort him.
We turned on relaxing music andput on a calming aquarium
YouTube video on his TV.
I climbed in bed with him torub his back and talk soothingly

(04:47):
to him.
The whisperer took his hand andtalked with him.
Another amazing caregiverarrived and brought in Josiah's
light up device to distract him.
Though the explosion was over,it took quite a while for Josiah
to relax enough to fall asleepAll this over a toenail,
seriously.
I researched it today and Idiscovered there are a few

(05:09):
things that may help, liketrimming his nails after he's
been in a pool or has soaked inthe tub, making it a weekly
activity so the routine is builtinto his schedule and he gets
used to it.
Giving a deep pressure massageto his feet prior to clipping
his nails, and using firmpressure, which is more calming
than a light touch.
My favorite is to provide an Ineed a break card so Josiah can

(05:34):
feel some control over thesituation.
My guess is that card may behurled in our faces, but it's
worth a shot.
This morning Josiah woke uplooking as if he'd been in
combat.
His self-inflicted bruisesbring tears to my eyes.
Life for this guy, and for manylike him, is not easy.
I can't begin to imagine howchallenging daily existence must

(05:55):
feel for him To not be able toexpress feelings or ideas, to
have no voice to convey needs orwants, to be at the mercy of
others To figure it all out.
And yet this morning, when Iwent in to check on him, he was
sitting up in his bed with ahuge grin on his face.
Josiah started his day with joy.

(06:15):
Wouldn't the world be a muchbetter place if we all chose to
live a little more like Josiah?
I triple dog dare you.
Whatever challenge you arefacing today, push through the
struggles, live for the joy andif you need a little help in the
process, come hang out with usfor a while.
Josiah is more than happy toshow you how.

(06:35):
Thanks for listening to theembrace the blessing podcast.
Visit embrace the blessingcomslash podcast for show notes and
links to any resourcesmentioned.
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just like you.