September 3, 2025 • 60 mins
YOUR PODCAST SOUNDS LIKE MISSIONARY POSITION FEELS
(AND THAT'S A CRIME AGAINST CREATIVITY)
Listen up, you polished content criminals and pristine audio addicts. Your podcast sounds like it was recorded in a therapist's waiting room, and your audience is falling asleep between ads for mail-order mattresses.
But stay tuned, because we're about to commit grand theft audio.
This isn't another "how-to" episode for good little broadcasters. This is a jailbreak for your creative libido. We're teaching you to fuck with format like a Venus in Retrograde having a punk rock awakening.
Get ready for:
- How to make Brian Eno mate with a police scanner and birth pure audio gold
- Why your expensive microphone is cock-blocking your authenticity
- The Venice Beach guide to turning chaos into content that makes NPR clutch its pearls
- Recording at the DMV: A masterclass in turning mundane hell into magnetic content
WARNING: This episode contains:
- Dangerous levels of creative permission
- Instructions for audio crimes against mediocrity
- A ritual for forgetting everything you learned in broadcasting school
- The savage truth about why your podcast partnerships fail (hint: it's not them, it's you)
Your audience isn't bored – they're being held hostage by your good intentions and cowardly adherence to professionalized standards of decorum. We're here to stage a rescue mission.
Think heist movie meets performance art meets spiritual awakening. Because your podcast shouldn't just fill silence – it should violate it with purpose.
Stop trying to sound like everyone else. Start sounding like yourself on your most insolent day. Raw creativity doesn't need a pop filter or a content calendar. It needs you to stop being so fucking polite about your passion.
Available now wherever you get your permission to create chaos.
Remember: The best podcasts don't follow trends – they leave trends gasping for air in a Venice Beach alley.
Trust me. I've committed every audio crime in the book, and that's exactly why you should listen.
Welcome to the revolution between your ears.
P.S. If this episode doesn't make your producer cry, you're not playing it loud enough.
And all the lessons in love, leadership, lechery, and letting go you've come to expect from The Only Good Podcast™!
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is LA's number-one avant-garde personal development program. New episodes premiere on KCHUNG Los Angeles on the first Wednesday of the month.
The writer, producer, host, and witty and wounded romantic hero is Emerson Dameron, who is wholly responsible for its content.
I love you, personally. Levity saves lives.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Podcasts are in trouble.
The easy money is gone, theformats are stale.
We need dangerous ideas, andI've got them.
As long as everyone's scared oftheir shadow, we're stuck with
true crime.
But rather than shows aboutcrime, make shows that are
crimes.
Bring celebrities on and robthem.
That would be a baller show anda better revenue model.
(00:22):
Loneliness kills.
Podcasts make it worse.
Comedy shows that don'tentertain, provoke or tell jokes
that do profit from parasocialrelationships will be banned
from streaming platforms andforced to go on tour until they
can prove they got theirlisteners befriended IRL.
Everyone's getting fired.
So embrace amateurism.
Be the punk rock, drill rap,college radio or podcasting.
(00:45):
Your production value shouldexist where incompetence becomes
indistinguishable from malice.
I'm Emerson Dameron, the ideamachine.
You say podcasting.
Remember, don't start a podcast, you wouldn't die for.
Emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes is on K-Chung, los
(01:09):
Angeles, 1630 AM aroundChinatown worldwide on the World
Wide Web kchungradioorg.
Medicated-minutescom is thewebsite for the show my name is.
Emerson Dameron site for theshow.
My name is Emerson.
Dameron.
I'm the producer, writer, host,etc.
For the show which, after itsbroadcast premiere every first
(01:34):
Wednesday of the month, becomesthe only good podcast.
I'm not afraid of competition, Iam tired of being alone at the
top, the forefront of thismedium of podcasting, which has
had boom times and bust times,but all of them sound pretty
much the same.
There are like three or fourdifferent formats that podcasts
use.
It's a completely openlandscape.
(01:54):
It's a blank canvas.
You can do anything in themedium of audio with your
podcast and most people are nottaking any risks.
I've had it, so I'm going togive you everything you need to
watch the only other goodpodcast.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Or if you have a podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
You can soup it up using these tools If you're
already on the way, as long asyou're not doing it stupidly.
Sometimes it's harder tocorrect entrenched bad habits.
Consider this starting overfrom scratch.
Of course, you're neverstarting entirely from scratch
with a creative endeavor, asthere is nothing new under the
sun, just different combinationsof existing things.
(02:35):
So think about that.
What are some things you couldcombine?
Well, you could do a policescanner and Brian Eno's music
for airports.
That could be interesting.
But what if you throw in athird thing, a catch?
The police scanner is all aboutthe lives of people who are
(02:56):
connected to one person, andthat person is the audience for
your podcast.
You should have a niche, youshould specialize.
The most specialized you canget is doing an entire podcast
for one person, ideally a richperson or perhaps a popular
person.
Some of their friends mighthorn in and kibitz on the
podcast, even if it's just forAlan Lancaster, a very charming
(03:20):
and popular dashing recipient ofthe podcast.
He was not rich yet, althoughhe almost certainly will be, but
he had a lot of friends andthey all want to hear the
podcast too, because they wantdirt on Alan Lancaster, so they
can get one up on him.
Man, if you listen to thispodcast, you do learn a lot
(03:43):
about people connected to Alan.
The police scanner includesprivate messages sent on signal
or using telegram that theythought would be hidden forever,
and Alan gets to hear what hisfriends say about him when he's
not around.
Don't seek out that information.
You can help it.
The thing is, if it's rightthere on a podcast that you can
download anywhere you getpodcasts it's pretty much
(04:05):
impossible not to listen.
So you definitely have Alanlistening.
You have his rapt attention.
Be, your own worst genius self.
Be free, be feral, be wild.
Foam at the mouth.
Ingest copious amounts ofresearch chemicals.
Do heroic doses of the wildeststuff you can find Vines, ferns,
(04:28):
any poisonous animal Amphibiansare the best.
Whatever you can find.
Even if the venom doesn't getyou high, it'll mess you up.
There's a lot of overlap.
Do this to screw up yourcourage, because it takes mad
courage to do the only othergood podcast.
You also need to know what'swhat and who's who and what's
(04:50):
going on.
So pay attention, get a lot ofinputs.
Do life experiments.
Make your life fascinating andmake yourself fascinating.
Find the right collaborators.
When you find people that yougel with, everything gets a lot
easier.
However, remember you are oneill-chosen collaboration away
(05:10):
from absolute ruin, reputationaldisaster, chaos, confusion,
stagnation and irrelevance.
If you collaborate with thewrong person, all that will be
yours, so keep that in mind.
Work with special people.
He'll make you feel special.
If you feel special.
You are special.
I know that because I do a lotof research for this show.
(05:33):
You've got your topic.
Whatever is going on in MrLancaster's life, research it to
the ends of human knowledge.
Know everything you need toknow about it.
Know the salient controversiesin the field.
Have some counterintuitivetakes.
Be a little bit contrarian.
Get the squares riled up.
Nobody likes them.
(05:54):
They'll like you because theydislike the squares so much that
they tend to like anyone thesquares hate, at least for a
time.
And that's your window ofopportunity when that opens.
Forget about it.
Forget the whole thing.
Forget you're even doing apodcast.
Go hike in the Bologna wetlands.
Leave your phone at home ortake it with you and smash it
(06:15):
with a hammer, or just throw itoff a bridge.
And forget all of this.
Forget everything you ever knew.
Forget your own name.
That'll be easier if you bringa lot of your drugs along with
you, or a chemical picnic, ifnot.
Find a gas station and huffsome gasoline.
Free your mind, unwind.
Then come back to theenvironment where you do the
(06:38):
only other good podcast, theAlan Lancaster Report or
whatever you're calling it.
Hopefully you're moreinteresting than that it should
atleast sound like it's going to
be interesting to randompassers-by.
Maybe it's for them.
That's how they'll find out.
Make it irresistible.
Call it all the filthy sex actsyou always thought you'd have
(06:58):
to pay for and record it in theright environment.
Here's the thing.
Stress can be good.
Good stress is called loosestress.
Some people would advise you torecord your podcast in some kind
of bunker or a room with foamand egg crates.
No, I live in Venice Beach.
I live in an amusement park.
(07:18):
It's a lot like living in afreshman dorm.
Sometimes there's music,there's yelling, there are
occasional deaths.
Everyone around me has accessto all kinds of cool stuff.
I'm just inches away from itand I know because they can't
stop screaming at me Screams ofjoy, screams of terror.
It's really a matter ofinterpretation.
(07:39):
You're on that kind of levelthat creates the eustress that I
need to create what iscurrently the only good podcast.
Now you need $100,000 worth oftop-of-the-line equipment.
I don't have that.
I don't need that.
These words will be parsed byscholars of damnernalia in
academic settings, even if Idon't even use a microphone,
(08:03):
even if I just raise my voiceand you have to listen very
closely from Denver or whereveryou are Wagon Wheel Wisconsin.
You just have to listen veryclosely.
It's worth it because that's howgood this podcast is.
I got in early in avant-gardepersonal development, much like
Joe Rogan just started doing apodcast before a lot of other
(08:24):
people did.
Now his format of peopletalking for three to four hours
is widely imitated.
He succeeded with it.
Why isn't everybody elsesucceeding with it?
Well, because Joe Rogan is oneof the great intellectuals of
our time.
And also be the first to doyour thing.
Last podcast on the left Dudestalking about serial killers and
(08:46):
being Arasat's best friends totheir listenership before anyone
else is doing that.
It was before Bernie Sandersran for president, so the name
is confusing to the people whodiscover it now.
It was one of the firstpodcasts of its ilk.
It was never exactly on theleft Politically.
It's named after a genuinelydisturbing horror film.
(09:08):
The fans know that they thinkthey're friends with the hosts.
You don't need that.
In avant-garde personaldevelopment, leadership and
friendship don't mix and youwant to be a leader.
Leaders, don't waste a lot oftime.
Keep those episodes coming Ifthere's nothing else going on,
record an episode.
Why the DMV?
Start talking.
Put those AirPods in, tell uswhat's on your mind.
(09:31):
It could be completely insolent.
Many of the earlier episodes ofthis show are completely
insolent.
Get where you're going, keepmoving, never aim to please.
Yes, the show is for Alan but,antagonize him a little bit.
Put him on edge.
Make it so that he has toengage with you.
Be bigger than life, thoroughlyunnoticed in some amazing,
(09:54):
innovative new way.
Take your worst quality, leaninto that.
It's not forgiving yourself foryour foibles.
This is leading with your truestrengths.
The stuff you don't want totalk about is the stuff people
want to hear about.
Let it all hang out, tie it ina lasso, capture attention, tell
people what to do, keep showingup.
(10:15):
Iterate, innovate.
Life is your laboratory.
Your podcast is your laboratory.
Just do whatever the hell youwant with it.
It's your sandbox.
Just do whatever the hell youwant with it.
It's your sandbox.
It's your imaginary kingdom.
It's your Xanadu, your Valhalla, your Weimar Berlin.
Go buck wild and then send itto everyone you know, because
(10:35):
everyone's going to listen to it.
They got nothing but time.
Don't send it to Alan.
Let him find it himself.
Create trailheads, do a full-onalternate reality game to
market your podcast, and thenthat'll distract you from how
bad your podcast is, how it'sgetting worse and your
indecision over whether youshould try to salvage it or
(10:57):
shoot the moon.
Max Bialystock, it Make theabsolute worst podcast so bad
that it makes every otherpodcast look good, and then you
will have the only bad podcast.
I imagine that you can seewhat's really going on.
(11:19):
Maybe, you're too stupid.
You could be dumb as a bag ofhammers.
It doesn't matter.
Presentation is what matters.
You can just look things up now.
Recitation of facts doesn'tmean anything.
I see some insecurity under thislittle game that you're playing
or you're testing me.
You have to have your dukes upall the time.
I must get tiring.
(11:40):
I bet you could use a break, alittle vacation.
There's an attention to detailthat I see.
There's a rich inner worldbehind the facade.
Your lack of intelligencedoesn't preclude adventures of
the mind.
You could have a different kindof intelligence, like an
athlete who's not veryarticulate because they always
ask them questions after they'vejust won the game, which is
(12:02):
like somebody asking you toanalyze the sex that you just
had after I fished it off of you.
You already cummed severaltimes from some of the things I
did earlier and you're shaking.
You've forgotten your name andit's never going to end.
But then it does and somebody'slike, hey, how was the game?
And you can't really think ofanything to say except Well,
(12:25):
first of all, I gotta thank God,from who all blessings flow.
I don't know, maybe I'mprojecting.
I want to be fascinated by you.
Oh no, you have to have sex onthe first night.
That's how you really get toknow somebody.
It's theater, it's ballet?
Yeah, sure, of course.
Yeah, it's a risk.
Everything is a risk.
Yep, everything hasconsequences.
Anything worth doing.
(12:45):
So what do you do After a meetcute like this?
You just go home, you just fallasleep.
Do you read a book?
Do you read Dostoevsky?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
You read your own instructionmanual.
It's all good.
Yeah, see, let me kiss.
There's chemistry.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Human people are infinitely complex crystals of
fractal stardust from beyondgood and evil, but they manage
to be excruciatingly boring.
In podcast interviews, yourlisteners demand danger.
Skip the invitation.
Tap their phones, do some lightcatfishing.
Record your guests at parties,coked out and obliterated on Old
Crow.
They'll forgive you when theyhear themselves at their most.
(13:47):
Relatable, if not.
Lawsuits, pay for themselvesand publicity in the world
quivers in fear of a trulydangerous podcast.
Get stoked.
If there's nobody around tostoke you, stoke yourself.
Stoke yourself regardless.
You know it's not that no oneelse is gonna stoke you or wants
(14:07):
to or can, but nobody can stokeyou in the ways that you can
stoke yourself.
And if they wanted to, theywouldn't know how, because only
you know that and that'sintuitive.
And that means getting yourenergy up, making yourself angry
, proud, horny, getting it readyto go and then going for it,
doing the damn thing, doing toit, like we always do about this
(14:30):
time.
What that means is you do it toyourself.
This is not about makingyourself suffer or prolonging
any pre-existing suffering.
So soothe yourself.
Get soothed.
Once again, it starts best withyou.
You are the expert in the waythat only you are qualified,
have ever been qualified or willever be qualified to be.
(14:53):
So it is your responsibility,if you want the job done right,
to take the lead, lead the wayand get some high-octane
relaxation.
Love yourself, you deserve it.
You are capable of being thebest lover you'll ever have or
could possibly have have in thecategory of your brand of
(15:13):
expertise.
What you know, use what youknow and forget you forgot how
to do it.
Let it happen.
It's organic, it just flows ifyou allow that to be and act on
the knowledge that you know thatyou have.
Be and act on the knowledgethat you know that you have.
(15:34):
If it's inconvenient to just doit, bore yourself, be bored.
It's the most importantingredient for greatness.
If you know what to do with it,it's the kind of greatness I
subscribe to.
I don't teach or sell greatnessthat I don't understand.
The greatness that I dorequires that you bore yourself.
Get rid of the distractions.
Greatness that I do requiresthat you bore yourself.
Get rid of the distractions.
Don't go for the dirty buzz.
Think in the long term, talkingabout sustainable gains which
(15:57):
can be achieved when you cut thecrap.
Get rid of all the stuff.
Shake the monkeys off your back, keep your head down.
Focus, do the work, get thework done.
Feel the resistance, do thething regardless.
Keep showing up, inconvenienceyourself.
You will achieve greatness.
You might be the last to knowthat it's happened.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
It'll happen.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Thank you, ask a sadist.
This is my soapbox.
(17:03):
I'm a sadist to the heart ofgold and it means the world to
me.
When you let me be mean to youand let me go off, it can be
hard out here for a sadist.
I don't think of myself as amartyr or a victim, because
that's disgusting.
It's a self-defeating mentalitythat's confusing to any
submissives that might be around.
They want to know that you knowwhat you're talking about and
(17:25):
if you play the victim, thatpretty much shows that you don't
, or you're asking for help, andnot in an elegant way, in a way
where you want it to be knownthat you are weak, that you're
giving up waving the white flag.
Nevertheless, it can bedifficult to be a sadist.
People don't understand.
There's a lot of negativepsychological projection.
(17:46):
You put yourself at risk ofbecoming a scapegoat because you
are revealing things aboutyourself and living a life that
many people want and denythemselves for reasons of
fitting in, of social decorum,and there's nothing more
dangerous than indulgingyourself in life's greatest
pleasures that the people aroundyou will not allow themselves
(18:09):
the freedom to indulge in.
There is a tacit prohibition ondoing things that people around
you want to do and are afraidto do, and you can expect to be
punished, ostracized, talkedabout behind your back.
You will reap the whirlwind ifyou become the cab that you want
to be.
But it is its own reward and itis a gift to the world.
(18:30):
The world needs sadists.
It needs delicious cruelty.
People are waiting to be toldwhat to do.
The kindest thing you can do isto dominate them.
It is kind to be cruel.
Hurt people in the ways thatmost help them.
That is the love that you offerthe world as a sadist.
And if you're a masochist, leanback.
(18:52):
Enjoy it.
Make a lot of noise.
I love that.
Sexual freedom is yours for thetaking.
If you're angry that I seem tohave sexual freedom that you
don't, it's because it's sexualfreedom that you deny yourself.
Perhaps you are sacrificingfreedom for a sense of security.
Security is a lie.
There's nothing guaranteedexcept pestilence, illness,
(19:16):
destruction, death, existentialhorror, loneliness, the abyss.
Those are the only things thatare guaranteed.
Anyone who guarantees youanything else is trying to sell
you something or scam you.
They're selling you something.
You are likely overpaying forit.
So forget about security.
Take the freedom that you want,but in order to do that, of
(19:37):
course you have to know what youwant.
So figure out what you want,which is partly done through
experimentation.
Run the sexual gamut.
I'm not going to talk about allthe stuff I've done.
Some of it is very off-brand,but that's how you can test in
the field what you like, whatyou don't like, what you thought
you might like and you don't,what you never thought you would
like and you in fact love.
(19:58):
So know what you want, discoverwhat you want and then go get
what you want.
Lead with what you want.
Lead with the most disgustingthings that you want, or perhaps
not the most disgusting things,but lead with the fact that
you're a disgusting pervert.
I do that, and I do quite wellfor myself, and it screens out
cowards and phonies, patheticprudes who use conventional
(20:21):
morality as a security blanket.
And the way to face thedifficulties of the world is
with an attitude of relentlessrealism.
Atheism, skepticism, radicalagnosticism all these things
should extend outside of thedoors of the church.
This is not a philosophicalhobby.
This is not some parlor game.
(20:43):
The world does not need magic.
It is full of natural miraclesand if you can see these
miracles that happen all thetime and take credit for them.
You can make a lot of money andget a lot of good submissives
that way.
You are dumb enough to be hot.
You're not worth a long-terminvestment.
Don't make long-term investmentsunless they're justified.
(21:04):
Don't do it because somebodypressures you into it.
And remember that there are noheroes or villains in the world.
Conventional morality good andevil, black and white is a
security blanket for dullardsand a cudgel for goons.
Yes, there's polarity in theworld.
There's masculine and feminine.
There's life and death in andout.
Sure, it is and it isn't.
(21:27):
That's also polarity.
There's also multiplicity.
The world is fractally complex.
All things have polarity,unless they don't.
Morality is a justification forbeing boring, insufferable,
contributing nothing new to theworld, not owning your own
proclivities, transmuting yourcruelty through passive
(21:48):
aggression and prohibitions onfun and indulgence and freedom.
The things that you could have,they're right there for the
taking.
Just go get them.
If you could just understandwhat you really want.
And the way to do that is tolisten to your instincts, feel
the flow of blood in your body,feel your natural drives for
(22:10):
time immemorial.
You know what to do.
Your body knows what to do.
Your instincts are good.
Your gut is good.
Listen, pay attention.
Just go with the flow.
You don't even have to makedecisions.
You know what to do.
Don't let people tell you whatto do.
They don't know better than youdo as much as they like to
think, they do as much as theirstatus and perhaps their income
(22:34):
and certainly theiropportunities to take advantage,
avail themselves of graft andgrift depend on establishing an
aura of ersatz authority.
Don't believe it.
And when you question it,expect to be challenged.
I can't help myself.
I want to antagonize thesebastards, I want to make them
feel uncomfortable.
(22:54):
You don't necessarily have todo the same thing.
It depends on theresponsibility that you take
upon yourself.
I think of myself as an artistand I believe that the
responsibility of the artist andart is to provoke.
Sex is where we hide things.
Sex is everything, sex is God,and so all art must be erotic in
(23:15):
one way or another.
And if it isn't intentionally,it will be accidentally, and
sometimes that will presentitself as a humiliating,
unintentional self-disclosure.
If you look for it, it's there.
We can't hide it.
We want to live it, and artshould be obscene, it should be
shocking in one way or another,and there are many roads up that
(23:37):
.
If you'd been around in the1950s, would you have supported
segregation?
Would you support slavery inthe South?
Would you support apartheid inSouth Africa?
(23:58):
Would you support thesubjugation of women?
You should disagree with theconsensus that at least a few
things.
Be vocal about those things Ifyou want to stand out and make a
difference and contribute tothe culture of your time.
I think that's an obligation.
I have much to offer as a sadist, as an intellectual, as a
philosopher of sorts.
(24:19):
I intend to give that to theworld, regardless of the risk to
my own safety, because they canmake me feel unsafe.
They can waste my time byantagonizing me, trying to throw
me off balance.
They can manipulate my emotions.
Of course I have them.
Denying that would be the mostpathetic form of weakness.
(24:39):
They cannot take my sovereigntyand they cannot really up with
my freedom.
They can throw me in a prisoncell and I can come up with the
most debauched tales and createan inner hell of the likes that
they would never imagine, and atleast in my own sanctum
sanctorum, in my chamber ofsecrets, in my hellish inner
(25:00):
world.
I will always be a free man.
I can transmute that into art.
I can provide my wisdom andadvice for people who seek it
out, create transgressiveliterature.
I can always be a libertine inmy heart and soul.
Like Jimmy Carter, I can commitlust in my heart and I do so
with bloodthirsty enthusiasm andgusto and cruelty, the sort
(25:26):
that many people crave.
They can't admit it.
Once you get them behind theeight ball, you have a whole lot
of leverage, and don't thinkthat they have the same leverage
over you.
You might If you have shame.
Other people have leverage Ifyou take joy and intelligent
pride not foolish, ill-advisedpride, but the fun kind of pride
(25:48):
in who you are you become whoyou are on a constant, ongoing
basis.
No one can really take awayyour freedom.
Your sovereignty is not secure.
Nothing ever is.
It's not truly yours.
It could be taken away with athwack to the side of the head
or even a major shakeup ortrauma in life.
It can shuffle your prioritiesand perhaps you'll have to think
(26:09):
about something else for awhile.
But it is your own now.
(28:02):
Keep it that way, thank you.
Thank you.
90% of podcasts don't get pastepisode 3, so make those
episodes count.
(28:23):
To make episode 1 an absolutebarn burner.
That's impossible to ignorewithout dying, test it on rats.
Now that you've got us on yourside for episode 2, open a vein,
bleed into our ears and destroyour lives in a manner that's
incontrovertible and oddlyerotic.
Episode three is art.
It makes no sense and yetforces us to confront the lies
we tell to hide from the miseryof our lives.
Mazel Tov, you made it.
(28:44):
If you want to start another, Ican't stop you.
Quality is wet trash.
Well, it's one of the reasons,and it's an important one to fix
.
Anywhere you get your podcastsis saturated with them.
(29:15):
No one can handle thatavalanche of content in 10
lifetimes.
Painfully pristine audioquality is non-negotiable.
People on YouTube will tell youthat you can do that at home or
even on an iPhone, if you knowwhat you're doing.
You don't, and they are icecold straight up lying to you.
There's no way to make yourpodcast sound good without
(29:36):
throwing down a lot of money.
You should really hire anengineer.
The engineer will hate you andyour podcast, but they'll
appreciate the work which youcould give them if you had money
, which you don't.
Your podcast was supposed tomake money and we both know how
that's going.
Gee, it's August in LA, Is ithot?
Don't waste time withhypotheticals.
The correct way to gettop-of-the-line audio equipment
(29:59):
is to steal it.
How do you think hip-hopstarted the New York Blackouts?
What are you gonna do?
Find a mark who works for thecity, Either seduce them or say
hey, I have a podcast.
It's kind of like this AmericanLife.
I'm going to do a heartwarmingand belly-tickling story about
how I embraced my identity as aLevian Satanist on the subway
(30:21):
system.
Please send me a map.
Please send me a detailed mapof the subway system and throw
in the electrical grid whileyou're at it.
They'll do it.
You have a podcast.
It's not the only good podcast,but it will be, because now you
can shut down the city'selectricity, steal all the
equipment you want, make apodcast that combines existing
(30:43):
elements in fascinating ways andexplores the violent, loving
and hilarious extremes of thecapabilities of the English
language.
With the best audio equipmentyou could steal, you have a
chance, which you created, forthe violent, loving and
hilarious extremes of thecapabilities of the English
language, the best audioequipment you could steal.
You have a chance which youcreated for yourself, because
that's how luck happens andthat's how you're going to make
the only good podcast.
Well, the audio quality isn'tthe only thing you're dealing
(31:05):
with.
You have miles to go before yousleep.
But I'm Emerson Dameron.
I'm a podcast consultant,making podcasts dangerous.
Again, the game is to be sold,not to be told.
So get in touch and we'll talkrates.
They're reasonable.
We're not even talking turkey.
They're like emaciated seagullrates.
Before the seagull found aLittle Caesars hot and ready on
(31:26):
the sidewalk.
That was a glorious moment.
(31:49):
Manhood in its rawest, mostauthentic form is a force for
beastly sovereignty of the soul.
So get your podcast on theBonebox Network.
Being a real man meansmastering your craft, whether
it's harpooning whales, buildingtrebuchets with your hands or
letting the levels go into thered.
But not stay there.
Society loves weakness.
It wants to shame you intosilence.
(32:11):
It's given up on personalresponsibility, and that's not
your fault.
So get on the mic and ravagethis world with unapologetic
masculinity.
When you're wrong, dare todouble down.
If they push back, let themknow you're just a comedian and
a meathead, so jacked up onadrenaline and sleep deprivation
you have no idea what words arespewing out of your mouth.
For a minute it sounded likePortuguese, a language you
(32:32):
neither speak nor understand.
Now it's a mix of barbaricyawps and cocky, virile
echolalia and you wish you couldgo home, but you've forgotten
how to shut down the livestreamon the Bonebox Network.
A brutal brotherhood of realmen, real power and real
podcasts State of the art ofpodcasting.
It's time.
I'm the person for that job,being an expert as I am being.
(32:54):
That it's a business I want toget into, and the best way to
get into a business is to getthe attention of the movers and
shakers they're in, and the bestway to get their attention is
to annoy them.
I think it's like negging.
You take them down a notch.
(33:14):
If they feel really good aboutthemselves, they'll notice when
shots are fired, and you can dothat.
You can roast people, Pull outthe samurai sword and slice
right through the BS, and you'rethe only person who can do it.
You have the only good podcast,which is Emerson Dameron's
Medicated Minutes.
Desert Oracle gets an honorablemention.
That's the closest thing we'vegot to a good podcast outside of
this one.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
And.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
I respect that.
I admire Ken Lane quite a bit.
I find his show very inspiring.
He's no Joe Frank and Joe Frankis no Emerson Dameron.
He was never LA's number onemotivational speaker of the
avant-garde persuasion.
He wasn't trying to help people.
Well, maybe he was trying.
I'm actually doing it.
I am helping people and I'mgoing to hurt people in the ways
(33:53):
that help them, by roastingthem, specifically everybody
that works in podcasting.
I think it'll go well.
You're freaking out, you havenicks not nothing to freak out
(34:32):
about, which makes it hard tostop freaking out.
If you're not freaking outabout anything, you can't stop
freaking out because you don'thave to deal with anything in
particular anymore.
So you just keep freaking outbecause it's got some momentum
behind it, it's exciting, itfeels like you're juiced up,
You're ready to go, you're goingto accomplish something.
Of course you don't, once again, because you can't solve the
(34:55):
problem inside of the problemspace.
I'm not saying don't freak out.
Don't even get wrapped aroundthe idea that freaking out is
something bad.
It just happens.
It's just feelings, it'semotions.
Let it pass, come and go andleave you alone.
Let that happen.
It's not.
Information Doesn't meananything.
(35:15):
Calm down, find whatever waysyou can to calm down.
You're a lot easier to dealwith For me and for others.
Chilling Cannabis edibles doyou good, unlike some other
substances that you put in yourbody temple.
Some of that stuff is fun at theparty.
Party's got to wind downeventually.
(35:36):
You are in a position where youmight want to marshal your
resources and make use of yourfaculties in the best shape you
can have them in throughhydrating, through meditating
and working out.
You don't know where to start?
Go ask somebody, figure it out.
If it's a big waste of time,you can always start screwing up
(35:58):
again.
Love and violence areintertwined.
Slow down, do a little bit at atime.
You can't do everything thatyou want to do.
There's not time.
You got to do things well.
You got to do something well.
Pick something and do that well.
Do it, apply yourself, get intoit, get your fingers in the
grease, get into the craft, theart, the joy, the love of doing
(36:22):
the thing.
Do it as a gift to yourself.
Do one of your things and makeit super good.
You'll start to get maybe someresults.
At least the result of puttingout something that you're
genuinely proud of Always feelsgood.
Give it a try, give it a shot,give it a shake of the dice,
take a swing, take a spin, giveit a whirl, play the game, get
(36:46):
into it, prioritize, figure outwhat's important Right now.
Money is important, unfortunate,but you can't do anything else
without some money, and that's alot of the reason for the panic
, the self-reproach, self-hate,because you feel like you're not
taking care of yourself and,frankly, you could be doing a
better job.
You have what it takes.
(37:07):
You can do it.
I've seen you do it before.
All you need to do is get acouple of wins on the board,
maybe just one.
Get some momentum, get somestuff happening and go for it.
It's not that hard.
Get one big thing moving andother stuff will start to move
in tune.
Get in the flow.
Call you know who when you geta chance.
(37:27):
Be very civil, be adult, politeand understanding, including of
yourself.
Don't back down.
Don't apologize.
You don't have to apologizeanymore.
You've apologized enough for adozen lifetimes, but worth
preserving, if it can bepreserved.
Present it as you need acertain kind of support from
(37:48):
your friends, from the crew,from the troop right now.
You need that real love andrespect that you can feel.
You need support while you'regetting back on your feet.
You got to find the people wholove you.
Love them, the circle of love.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 am.
Kchungradioorg.
You're listening to EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes.
La's number one avant-gardepersonal development program.
The only good podcast, thankyou.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Your podcast is one of the good podcasts.
Good podcasts like yours makepeople smarter.
They did MRIs.
It's science.
Music makes people dumber.
That's just obvious, even JohnColtrane.
Your listeners love you in away that doesn't make you
uncomfortable.
You can get any guest on yourpodcast, ask tough, obnoxious
questions and still becomefriends and confidants in the
(39:42):
ins and outs of the business.
You have the power ofpersuasion to convince sponsors
they're not setting their moneyon fire and for now that's what
matters.
You're profoundly at peace withyour current level of success
and when you break throughyou'll be ready.
You believe in your podcastbecause your podcast is the
first and only good podcast.
(40:04):
It's a blank canvas.
Almost everyone uses one of twoto four formats for everything.
I don't believe that that'ssome kind of Jungian situation.
It's an opportunity to dosomething out of left field.
I'm here for it.
(40:24):
I love experimental stuff Radio, theater, music, concrete.
Whatever?
you got.
Give it to me, I'm ready.
I was born ready for this.
I like it scattered, smotheredand covered to me.
I'm ready, I was born ready forthis.
I like it scattered, smotheredand covered, and also diced,
mixed up like eclecticism Forits own sake.
I'm a post-modernist.
I'm not afraid to admit it.
I may be the only one.
What else do I like?
(40:45):
You do have to hook me in thefirst couple of minutes, which
means you can't have ads for thefirst five minutes.
Sorry, I know that's a primespot.
The saturation of ads isannoying across the board.
There's gotta be some way tomonetize this.
Maybe the Canadian government.
Yeah, something, take a day ofrest, just do it.
(41:10):
Take a break, god damn it.
You're not even accomplishinganything.
You're working yourself todeath.
It's ridiculous.
I hate this.
Stop it.
Take a break Right now.
Yeah, you want me to say itagain?
Repeat back what I said.
Are you gonna take a break?
Are you gonna do it?
Can you follow instructions?
You need a break.
How many times have I said it?
Take some time off, take five.
(41:33):
You asshole, you moron.
God damn it.
Pick out the vibe man, then thenext one.
Put a little of that oldrazzle-dazzle in it, you still
(41:56):
got it.
You're the one with all theseodd products that you want
people to purchase to supportyou and to bring a little bit of
your juju into their lives Inan unprotected sexual way For
their ears and this right intotheir brains.
Audio is an intimate medium.
People like the video.
People watch Joe Rogan talk topeople for four hours.
(42:18):
Why would you do that, unlessyou're uncomfortable with just
the audio?
Compared to the whole thing, Ilike the audio exclusive
experiences.
It's a certain very intense kindof intimacy.
I'm an auditory, thinker andlearner, etc.
I can also understand pictureswhen I look at them.
Frame don't aim, I can takephotographs.
(42:39):
I'm the only person that canget a photograph of a sunset in
LA that does it justice on aSamsung phone, on that camera.
I did it.
Everybody else sucks becausethey can't do that.
I'm the only one who can.
People need to get on my level.
Audio, the spoken word Music.
I wish I'd known when I wasyounger how easy music is to
make.
(43:00):
I always thought it was a craftpracticed by professionals, all
of whom seemed to be rich,except for my dad and his
friends.
They were musicians and theywere not especially wealthy.
But all of the other musiciansI could think of Phil Collins,
prince Men at Work at one timewere all wealthy To an extent.
The late Steve Albiney breaksit down how they're getting
(43:22):
taken.
Did you know there used to be awhole music industry?
Now it's Kevin Kelly's 1,000true fans economy, and boy is it
more hellish than anyone couldhave possibly anticipated,
except for people getting richoff of it, which you know.
If there's a gold rush,somebody's gonna make money
selling shovels.
If there's a drug dealer bustedunder a streetlight, he'll come
(43:44):
back and shoot out thestreetlight and then you'll bust
him again Because you're a copand a rat and a sellout and it
sends somebody set it to yourface.
It's so like me.
Oh my god.
What is this?
What is the world?
Could I only perceive thingsbecause I am those things.
Projecting them onto otherpeople is the cowardice.
I'm kicking the can.
(44:05):
I'm developing myself, growth,healing.
Who is this mage, this muse?
Before my teacher, I would bowbefore you and lick between your
toes if I thought that's whatyou wanted.
I think, we both know what youwant.
You're going to be not runningthe show because you always have
to make decisions.
Your life is full of choicesand responsibilities and
(44:27):
zero-sum games that you have toplay.
You're a hustler and that'sbeautiful and you have a heart
and you maintain those thingsand that's a lot of hard work
and you're not gonna have toworry about that in a little bit
, because I'm gonna take it fromhere.
You're gonna take it as well Ifyou beg for it.
If you look me straight in theeyes, I'll give you a good smack
(44:47):
across the face and not aHollywood smack.
I've received your feedback andI've taken it to heart.
You want the real deal, thefull production.
It's coming, and that's farfrom the only thing that's
coming in that situation.
I'm going to use you.
However I want.
You're going to love it, andthat's the explanation for all
of the previous content.
Amen and Thank you so?
(46:23):
Your combination of intimidatingbrilliance and primal animal
magnetism is intimidating for alot of people.
It represents for them the fearat the threshold of adventure,
and they may be right to feelthat way.
You may be too much for them.
There are people that cannothandle the journey that you're
(46:45):
going on, but make it clearyou're going in regardless and
if they get left behind, anyregret that results from that is
on them because they botched it.
Anyone would be lucky to knowyou.
Anyone would be lucky to spendtime by your side.
You are a cure for boredom andyou can cure them with a wink of
the eye and a snap of yourfingers.
(47:06):
You enrich and defile thepeople that come into your life
in all the right ways.
It is your artistic practice.
It is your gift to the worldno-transcript.
(47:53):
The show that loves you back,levity, saves lives.
Churn, I'll give you a churn.
Give you the churniest churnthat ever got churned.
I burn with my churn.
It's a churn befitting LA'snumber one avant-garde personal
development program, which is,of course, of course, of course,
emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes.
(48:14):
I'm Emerson Dameron, your bestfriend, possibly in the world,
the guy who gets it, perhaps theonly person who really
understands in this world ofLegion, broken Souls and Misfit
Toys.
Doesn't it feel good to begotten?
A lot of people never get tofeel that way, and you do, at
(48:34):
least once a month, at thebeginning of the month, to get
things started right.
First Wednesday of the month, 7pm Pacific on K-Chum,
kchumradioorg and becoming theonly good podcast.
I'm Emerson Dameron.
I love you personally.
Liberty saves lives.
It, I love you personally.
Liberty saves lives.
That's easy to forget, that.
It's hard to forget some of thethings that would be better,
(48:56):
more useful to forget, to unload, offload, banish.
So right now, take thisopportunity.
What is something that youcan't let go?
What is something that tormentsyou, bedevils you way past the
point of any relevance?
Your brain is trying to help,and what it does when it's
trying to help is it ruminatesbecause it thinks it's solving
(49:19):
the problem.
My friend, it is not.
Your brain is stupid.
The only way to understand isto understand that you will
never understand.
And the only way to really knowcapital K, capital N, capital O
, capital W is to forgeteverything you have ever known.
So join me in our ritual offorgetfulness, which must be
(49:40):
celebrated.
I only invite you to thisbecause that's how much I love
you, how much do I love you.
I'm the only person who reallyunderstands you, might be the
only person who reallyunderstands me that's not true,
but I'll make you feel that way.
When we're together, we share amutual bond, and when I am with
you, you are the only person inthe universe to me.
(50:01):
I would hope to feel that wayto you even when I'm not around,
because you understand objectpermanence, and that's one of
the things I love about you.
You are so smart, so scarysmart, so frighteningly,
bafflingly sexy, and I love youfor that and for everything else
(50:22):
about you.
And just because and that's whyI want to destroy you, I want
the big death.
The orgasm is described by theFrench as le petit mort, the
little death.
I want the big one.
I want to destroy you andmyself.
I want to be immolated in thedestruction, in the catastrophe,
in the little apocalypsebrought about to extinguish your
(50:46):
existence.
I want you to go first.
I will follow soon after that.
You can trust me.
I'm the person who's destroyingyou and that's possibly the
nicest thing that anyone hasever done for me.
The least you can do is go alongwith it.
Let me run this.
I got this.
It's your birthday, you don'thave to do anything.
Perhaps none of us have to doanything.
(51:07):
Perhaps everything we do in theeffort to make things better
only creates new problems andmakes things ultimately worse,
because we are creating problemsat a faster rate than we can
solve them, which is the wholepoint, I suppose.
But why are we doing this?
Does it really matter?
We're burying ourselves, we arekilling ourselves.
(51:29):
It is suicide on theinstallment plan.
Nothing neat, nothing elegantabout it.
It is dangerous and pathetic.
It is dangerous to be asrisk-averse as many poor souls
in this world are becoming, andthat's why we gotta snap out of
that, even if it's over.
You know it is over.
Let's be adults about this.
(51:49):
You know, and I know that wecan't really talk about it
because you gotta believe thatthere's a possibility that we
could come back, but from agrown-up perspective.
Let's be real.
You're in my office, let's justtalk about this.
It's hopeless.
We are so thoroughly bonedthere's no coming back.
But if we do when we do, whenwe're back it is gonna feel that
(52:13):
much better Because we almostgave up for a while.
Everybody else did in ourcohort.
And look at them now or ratherdon't, because you can't find
them, because they're nowhere.
All that matters is survivalEndurance.
That's not really all of it.
You got to take some chances,and that's really all of it.
You gotta take some chances,and that's really part of
(52:33):
survival.
You gotta not prioritizesurviving in order to really do
it in style.
You gotta just not care.
You gotta put your life on theline in order to come back hard,
the way that you're talkingabout doing it, and that's in
anticipation of embarking foranother land, because we're
gonna get out of this peace.
There is no peace, there's onlywar forevermoremore.
(52:54):
And that's pretty hot as far asit goes.
We've been sizzling for aminute.
It's too much cortisol, toomuch post-traumatic stress.
We're going to try it in adifferent place, perhaps
somewhere newer, somewhere withchiseled mountains, trails that
take us in a new direction.
That's how we're moving.
That's how we're moving.
That's how we're doing it.
In the meantime, you can helpme and perhaps yourself, really
(53:18):
more yourself.
There's only calculatedaltruism, Unless it's impulsive.
And you just did it.
When you were high, you made thedecision to support me in
buying drugs by donating to theBuy Drugs for Emerson Dameron
Fund.
These are antidepressants.
Of course you knew that.
You knew that I wouldn't try toraise money and spend it on
(53:39):
illicit drugs.
I'm not going to have any fun.
If that's what you're afraid of, don't even worry about it.
I just need these things tostop from killing myself.
And if I can do that, I can behere for you as well, because I
have walked through the valleyof the shadow of death.
I whistled all the way and Itook some pictures and now we
(54:00):
can look at them together,perhaps see where that takes us,
maybe end up doing other thingstogether.
But you gotta first of all givea generous donation, give until
it hurts to the Buy Drugs forEmerson Dameron Fund, and that
could be part of your breakingout of the way that you thought
things were going to be the wayyou thought that they should be,
(54:20):
back when the concept of shouldcarried some currency, some
weight, some purchase, when youcould exchange that for real
American dollars.
That never was the case.
That for real American dollars.
That never was the case.
Had you tried, had you takenyour shoulds to the bank, they
would have said get that shouldout of here.
You are full of should.
What we need is do.
(54:41):
It's not about what you don'tdo, it's what you crap out of
your ass like a newborn baby.
Back when you were authentic,that's what you were doing.
So in order to really get intouch with your primal essence.
That involves taking a crap inyour diaper.
I hope you're authentic.
That's what you were doing.
So in order to really get intouch with your primal essence,
that involves taking a crap inyour diaper.
I hope you're ready for that.
Some people are enthusiasticabout it.
I know More power to ya.
(55:01):
I feel like a world with morediaper fetishists out of the
closet would perhaps be a better, easier world to live in.
I don't think it would reallyaffect me that much.
I'd be surprised, but you knowI've been surprised before.
Life is full of them.
Well, it surprises.
I'm hoping that someone willsurprise me with some beef.
I need to beef with someone inorder to stay sharp.
(55:24):
I'm out of practice.
All of my beefs are ancient.
At this point I'm not evenreally angry anymore.
What was I ever angry about?
Remind me.
Bring me back to life.
Bring me back to the surface,where people are petty and pick
fights over nothing.
Start a feud with me.
It doesn't even have to be thatbig a deal.
It can be pure kayfabe.
(55:45):
We can have fun with it.
We can get together.
We can have like a writer'sroom meeting where we decide how
we're going to get into it.
You can reveal some of yourweaknesses to me.
I will, in turn, give you somepointers on weak spots of mine
to hit and we can go at it.
We can go to town and we candraw a lot of attention to both
(56:05):
of us, and no one has to win,nobody has to lose.
We can keep going indefinitely.
This could be much like theInfinite Game, a case of
infinite beef, where, ratherthan squashing the beef or
choosing a victor, the point isto keep the beef going, and
that's called the beef of life.
That's where the real sizzle is.
Just because there's smokedoesn't mean there's beef, but
(56:28):
let's smoke up before we startbeefing.
That'll make it moreentertaining all around.
I believe you know what.
Let's do something else.
Let's cast everything out.
Let's go back to basics andforget all of this.
Banish the nonsense, perish thethought.
Perish the other thought aswell.
Perish all the thoughts, perishyour first principles, all of
(56:50):
your priors.
Wipe your hard drive clean.
Put a hammer through the frontof your television when you're
out in your back alley and youwant to get rid of it because
you don't even know if it worksanymore.
But you know what it does do,and now its most important
function possibly ever is to bedestroyed by you.
The only way to really love itis to love it to death.
(57:10):
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes
Medicated-Minutescom.
I'm Emerson Dameron who issolely responsible for the
content of this show.
I love you personally.
Levity saves lives For now, notforever, but that's okay.
(57:49):
You steal audio equipment fromthe right people.
You might put an end tolate-stage capitalism.
It's called late-stage for areason.
It shouldn't be that hard totake down.
People might love you for that,but not if your podcast is
terrible, if you can't stopdaydreaming about casual sex but
(58:18):
you're scared of getting hurtor humiliated and you're burned
out on draining, dead-end dateswith disappointing boy men.
Stay tuned, because hot, dizzynights of exciting, ecstatic,
cathartic sex can be yours whenyou discover casual sex with
Emerson Dameron.
Emerson Dameron comes equippedwith an omnivorous mind, a
soulful, penetrating gaze andgifts for deep kissing and
thrilling, chilling, dirty talk.
(58:39):
Get the playfulness, passionand patience you crave with a
dominant, sensitive and fullypresent man who knows how to
throw you around and when toleave you alone.
Make a casual, caringconnection and get hot, healthy
hookups with a selection ofkinky upgrades and a strong
probability of cascading orgasms.
With Emerson Dameron, fun comesfirst, and so do you.
(59:02):
Have casual sex with EmersonDameron today or, realistically,
early next week.
Thank you, bye.
Podcasts are in trouble.
The easy money is gone, theformats are stale.
We need dangerous ideas, andI've got them.
As long as everyone's scared oftheir shadow, we're stuck with
true crime.
But rather than shows aboutcrime, make shows that are
crimes.
Bring celebrities on and robthem.
That would be a baller show anda better revenue model.
(00:22):
Loneliness kills.
Podcasts make it worse.
Comedy shows that don'tentertain, provoke or tell jokes
that do profit from parasocialrelationships will be banned
from streaming platforms andforced to go on tour until they
can prove they got theirlisteners befriended IRL.
Everyone's getting fired.
So embrace amateurism.
Be the punk rock, drill rap,college radio or podcasting.
(00:45):
Your production value shouldexist where incompetence becomes
indistinguishable from malice.
I'm Emerson Dameron, the ideamachine.
You say podcasting.
Remember, don't start a podcast, you wouldn't die for.
Emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes is on K-Chung, los
(01:09):
Angeles, 1630 AM aroundChinatown worldwide on the World
Wide Web kchungradioorg.
Medicated-minutescom is thewebsite for the show my name is.
Emerson Dameron site for theshow.
My name is Emerson.
Dameron.
I'm the producer, writer, host,etc.
For the show which, after itsbroadcast premiere every first
(01:34):
Wednesday of the month, becomesthe only good podcast.
I'm not afraid of competition, Iam tired of being alone at the
top, the forefront of thismedium of podcasting, which has
had boom times and bust times,but all of them sound pretty
much the same.
There are like three or fourdifferent formats that podcasts
use.
It's a completely openlandscape.
(01:54):
It's a blank canvas.
You can do anything in themedium of audio with your
podcast and most people are nottaking any risks.
I've had it, so I'm going togive you everything you need to
watch the only other goodpodcast.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Or if you have a podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
You can soup it up using these tools If you're
already on the way, as long asyou're not doing it stupidly.
Sometimes it's harder tocorrect entrenched bad habits.
Consider this starting overfrom scratch.
Of course, you're neverstarting entirely from scratch
with a creative endeavor, asthere is nothing new under the
sun, just different combinationsof existing things.
(02:35):
So think about that.
What are some things you couldcombine?
Well, you could do a policescanner and Brian Eno's music
for airports.
That could be interesting.
But what if you throw in athird thing, a catch?
The police scanner is all aboutthe lives of people who are
(02:56):
connected to one person, andthat person is the audience for
your podcast.
You should have a niche, youshould specialize.
The most specialized you canget is doing an entire podcast
for one person, ideally a richperson or perhaps a popular
person.
Some of their friends mighthorn in and kibitz on the
podcast, even if it's just forAlan Lancaster, a very charming
(03:20):
and popular dashing recipient ofthe podcast.
He was not rich yet, althoughhe almost certainly will be, but
he had a lot of friends andthey all want to hear the
podcast too, because they wantdirt on Alan Lancaster, so they
can get one up on him.
Man, if you listen to thispodcast, you do learn a lot
(03:43):
about people connected to Alan.
The police scanner includesprivate messages sent on signal
or using telegram that theythought would be hidden forever,
and Alan gets to hear what hisfriends say about him when he's
not around.
Don't seek out that information.
You can help it.
The thing is, if it's rightthere on a podcast that you can
download anywhere you getpodcasts it's pretty much
(04:05):
impossible not to listen.
So you definitely have Alanlistening.
You have his rapt attention.
Be, your own worst genius self.
Be free, be feral, be wild.
Foam at the mouth.
Ingest copious amounts ofresearch chemicals.
Do heroic doses of the wildeststuff you can find Vines, ferns,
(04:28):
any poisonous animal Amphibiansare the best.
Whatever you can find.
Even if the venom doesn't getyou high, it'll mess you up.
There's a lot of overlap.
Do this to screw up yourcourage, because it takes mad
courage to do the only othergood podcast.
You also need to know what'swhat and who's who and what's
(04:50):
going on.
So pay attention, get a lot ofinputs.
Do life experiments.
Make your life fascinating andmake yourself fascinating.
Find the right collaborators.
When you find people that yougel with, everything gets a lot
easier.
However, remember you are oneill-chosen collaboration away
(05:10):
from absolute ruin, reputationaldisaster, chaos, confusion,
stagnation and irrelevance.
If you collaborate with thewrong person, all that will be
yours, so keep that in mind.
Work with special people.
He'll make you feel special.
If you feel special.
You are special.
I know that because I do a lotof research for this show.
(05:33):
You've got your topic.
Whatever is going on in MrLancaster's life, research it to
the ends of human knowledge.
Know everything you need toknow about it.
Know the salient controversiesin the field.
Have some counterintuitivetakes.
Be a little bit contrarian.
Get the squares riled up.
Nobody likes them.
(05:54):
They'll like you because theydislike the squares so much that
they tend to like anyone thesquares hate, at least for a
time.
And that's your window ofopportunity when that opens.
Forget about it.
Forget the whole thing.
Forget you're even doing apodcast.
Go hike in the Bologna wetlands.
Leave your phone at home ortake it with you and smash it
(06:15):
with a hammer, or just throw itoff a bridge.
And forget all of this.
Forget everything you ever knew.
Forget your own name.
That'll be easier if you bringa lot of your drugs along with
you, or a chemical picnic, ifnot.
Find a gas station and huffsome gasoline.
Free your mind, unwind.
Then come back to theenvironment where you do the
(06:38):
only other good podcast, theAlan Lancaster Report or
whatever you're calling it.
Hopefully you're moreinteresting than that it should
atleast sound like it's going to
be interesting to randompassers-by.
Maybe it's for them.
That's how they'll find out.
Make it irresistible.
Call it all the filthy sex actsyou always thought you'd have
(06:58):
to pay for and record it in theright environment.
Here's the thing.
Stress can be good.
Good stress is called loosestress.
Some people would advise you torecord your podcast in some kind
of bunker or a room with foamand egg crates.
No, I live in Venice Beach.
I live in an amusement park.
(07:18):
It's a lot like living in afreshman dorm.
Sometimes there's music,there's yelling, there are
occasional deaths.
Everyone around me has accessto all kinds of cool stuff.
I'm just inches away from itand I know because they can't
stop screaming at me Screams ofjoy, screams of terror.
It's really a matter ofinterpretation.
(07:39):
You're on that kind of levelthat creates the eustress that I
need to create what iscurrently the only good podcast.
Now you need $100,000 worth oftop-of-the-line equipment.
I don't have that.
I don't need that.
These words will be parsed byscholars of damnernalia in
academic settings, even if Idon't even use a microphone,
(08:03):
even if I just raise my voiceand you have to listen very
closely from Denver or whereveryou are Wagon Wheel Wisconsin.
You just have to listen veryclosely.
It's worth it because that's howgood this podcast is.
I got in early in avant-gardepersonal development, much like
Joe Rogan just started doing apodcast before a lot of other
(08:24):
people did.
Now his format of peopletalking for three to four hours
is widely imitated.
He succeeded with it.
Why isn't everybody elsesucceeding with it?
Well, because Joe Rogan is oneof the great intellectuals of
our time.
And also be the first to doyour thing.
Last podcast on the left Dudestalking about serial killers and
(08:46):
being Arasat's best friends totheir listenership before anyone
else is doing that.
It was before Bernie Sandersran for president, so the name
is confusing to the people whodiscover it now.
It was one of the firstpodcasts of its ilk.
It was never exactly on theleft Politically.
It's named after a genuinelydisturbing horror film.
(09:08):
The fans know that they thinkthey're friends with the hosts.
You don't need that.
In avant-garde personaldevelopment, leadership and
friendship don't mix and youwant to be a leader.
Leaders, don't waste a lot oftime.
Keep those episodes coming Ifthere's nothing else going on,
record an episode.
Why the DMV?
Start talking.
Put those AirPods in, tell uswhat's on your mind.
(09:31):
It could be completely insolent.
Many of the earlier episodes ofthis show are completely
insolent.
Get where you're going, keepmoving, never aim to please.
Yes, the show is for Alan but,antagonize him a little bit.
Put him on edge.
Make it so that he has toengage with you.
Be bigger than life, thoroughlyunnoticed in some amazing,
(09:54):
innovative new way.
Take your worst quality, leaninto that.
It's not forgiving yourself foryour foibles.
This is leading with your truestrengths.
The stuff you don't want totalk about is the stuff people
want to hear about.
Let it all hang out, tie it ina lasso, capture attention, tell
people what to do, keep showingup.
(10:15):
Iterate, innovate.
Life is your laboratory.
Your podcast is your laboratory.
Just do whatever the hell youwant with it.
It's your sandbox.
Just do whatever the hell youwant with it.
It's your sandbox.
It's your imaginary kingdom.
It's your Xanadu, your Valhalla, your Weimar Berlin.
Go buck wild and then send itto everyone you know, because
(10:35):
everyone's going to listen to it.
They got nothing but time.
Don't send it to Alan.
Let him find it himself.
Create trailheads, do a full-onalternate reality game to
market your podcast, and thenthat'll distract you from how
bad your podcast is, how it'sgetting worse and your
indecision over whether youshould try to salvage it or
(10:57):
shoot the moon.
Max Bialystock, it Make theabsolute worst podcast so bad
that it makes every otherpodcast look good, and then you
will have the only bad podcast.
I imagine that you can seewhat's really going on.
(11:19):
Maybe, you're too stupid.
You could be dumb as a bag ofhammers.
It doesn't matter.
Presentation is what matters.
You can just look things up now.
Recitation of facts doesn'tmean anything.
I see some insecurity under thislittle game that you're playing
or you're testing me.
You have to have your dukes upall the time.
I must get tiring.
(11:40):
I bet you could use a break, alittle vacation.
There's an attention to detailthat I see.
There's a rich inner worldbehind the facade.
Your lack of intelligencedoesn't preclude adventures of
the mind.
You could have a different kindof intelligence, like an
athlete who's not veryarticulate because they always
ask them questions after they'vejust won the game, which is
(12:02):
like somebody asking you toanalyze the sex that you just
had after I fished it off of you.
You already cummed severaltimes from some of the things I
did earlier and you're shaking.
You've forgotten your name andit's never going to end.
But then it does and somebody'slike, hey, how was the game?
And you can't really think ofanything to say except Well,
(12:25):
first of all, I gotta thank God,from who all blessings flow.
I don't know, maybe I'mprojecting.
I want to be fascinated by you.
Oh no, you have to have sex onthe first night.
That's how you really get toknow somebody.
It's theater, it's ballet?
Yeah, sure, of course.
Yeah, it's a risk.
Everything is a risk.
Yep, everything hasconsequences.
Anything worth doing.
(12:45):
So what do you do After a meetcute like this?
You just go home, you just fallasleep.
Do you read a book?
Do you read Dostoevsky?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
You read your own instructionmanual.
It's all good.
Yeah, see, let me kiss.
There's chemistry.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Human people are infinitely complex crystals of
fractal stardust from beyondgood and evil, but they manage
to be excruciatingly boring.
In podcast interviews, yourlisteners demand danger.
Skip the invitation.
Tap their phones, do some lightcatfishing.
Record your guests at parties,coked out and obliterated on Old
Crow.
They'll forgive you when theyhear themselves at their most.
(13:47):
Relatable, if not.
Lawsuits, pay for themselvesand publicity in the world
quivers in fear of a trulydangerous podcast.
Get stoked.
If there's nobody around tostoke you, stoke yourself.
Stoke yourself regardless.
You know it's not that no oneelse is gonna stoke you or wants
(14:07):
to or can, but nobody can stokeyou in the ways that you can
stoke yourself.
And if they wanted to, theywouldn't know how, because only
you know that and that'sintuitive.
And that means getting yourenergy up, making yourself angry
, proud, horny, getting it readyto go and then going for it,
doing the damn thing, doing toit, like we always do about this
(14:30):
time.
What that means is you do it toyourself.
This is not about makingyourself suffer or prolonging
any pre-existing suffering.
So soothe yourself.
Get soothed.
Once again, it starts best withyou.
You are the expert in the waythat only you are qualified,
have ever been qualified or willever be qualified to be.
(14:53):
So it is your responsibility,if you want the job done right,
to take the lead, lead the wayand get some high-octane
relaxation.
Love yourself, you deserve it.
You are capable of being thebest lover you'll ever have or
could possibly have have in thecategory of your brand of
(15:13):
expertise.
What you know, use what youknow and forget you forgot how
to do it.
Let it happen.
It's organic, it just flows ifyou allow that to be and act on
the knowledge that you know thatyou have.
Be and act on the knowledgethat you know that you have.
(15:34):
If it's inconvenient to just doit, bore yourself, be bored.
It's the most importantingredient for greatness.
If you know what to do with it,it's the kind of greatness I
subscribe to.
I don't teach or sell greatnessthat I don't understand.
The greatness that I dorequires that you bore yourself.
Get rid of the distractions.
Greatness that I do requiresthat you bore yourself.
Get rid of the distractions.
Don't go for the dirty buzz.
Think in the long term, talkingabout sustainable gains which
(15:57):
can be achieved when you cut thecrap.
Get rid of all the stuff.
Shake the monkeys off your back, keep your head down.
Focus, do the work, get thework done.
Feel the resistance, do thething regardless.
Keep showing up, inconvenienceyourself.
You will achieve greatness.
You might be the last to knowthat it's happened.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
It'll happen.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Thank you, ask a sadist.
This is my soapbox.
(17:03):
I'm a sadist to the heart ofgold and it means the world to
me.
When you let me be mean to youand let me go off, it can be
hard out here for a sadist.
I don't think of myself as amartyr or a victim, because
that's disgusting.
It's a self-defeating mentalitythat's confusing to any
submissives that might be around.
They want to know that you knowwhat you're talking about and
(17:25):
if you play the victim, thatpretty much shows that you don't
, or you're asking for help, andnot in an elegant way, in a way
where you want it to be knownthat you are weak, that you're
giving up waving the white flag.
Nevertheless, it can bedifficult to be a sadist.
People don't understand.
There's a lot of negativepsychological projection.
(17:46):
You put yourself at risk ofbecoming a scapegoat because you
are revealing things aboutyourself and living a life that
many people want and denythemselves for reasons of
fitting in, of social decorum,and there's nothing more
dangerous than indulgingyourself in life's greatest
pleasures that the people aroundyou will not allow themselves
(18:09):
the freedom to indulge in.
There is a tacit prohibition ondoing things that people around
you want to do and are afraidto do, and you can expect to be
punished, ostracized, talkedabout behind your back.
You will reap the whirlwind ifyou become the cab that you want
to be.
But it is its own reward and itis a gift to the world.
(18:30):
The world needs sadists.
It needs delicious cruelty.
People are waiting to be toldwhat to do.
The kindest thing you can do isto dominate them.
It is kind to be cruel.
Hurt people in the ways thatmost help them.
That is the love that you offerthe world as a sadist.
And if you're a masochist, leanback.
(18:52):
Enjoy it.
Make a lot of noise.
I love that.
Sexual freedom is yours for thetaking.
If you're angry that I seem tohave sexual freedom that you
don't, it's because it's sexualfreedom that you deny yourself.
Perhaps you are sacrificingfreedom for a sense of security.
Security is a lie.
There's nothing guaranteedexcept pestilence, illness,
(19:16):
destruction, death, existentialhorror, loneliness, the abyss.
Those are the only things thatare guaranteed.
Anyone who guarantees youanything else is trying to sell
you something or scam you.
They're selling you something.
You are likely overpaying forit.
So forget about security.
Take the freedom that you want,but in order to do that, of
(19:37):
course you have to know what youwant.
So figure out what you want,which is partly done through
experimentation.
Run the sexual gamut.
I'm not going to talk about allthe stuff I've done.
Some of it is very off-brand,but that's how you can test in
the field what you like, whatyou don't like, what you thought
you might like and you don't,what you never thought you would
like and you in fact love.
(19:58):
So know what you want, discoverwhat you want and then go get
what you want.
Lead with what you want.
Lead with the most disgustingthings that you want, or perhaps
not the most disgusting things,but lead with the fact that
you're a disgusting pervert.
I do that, and I do quite wellfor myself, and it screens out
cowards and phonies, patheticprudes who use conventional
(20:21):
morality as a security blanket.
And the way to face thedifficulties of the world is
with an attitude of relentlessrealism.
Atheism, skepticism, radicalagnosticism all these things
should extend outside of thedoors of the church.
This is not a philosophicalhobby.
This is not some parlor game.
(20:43):
The world does not need magic.
It is full of natural miraclesand if you can see these
miracles that happen all thetime and take credit for them.
You can make a lot of money andget a lot of good submissives
that way.
You are dumb enough to be hot.
You're not worth a long-terminvestment.
Don't make long-term investmentsunless they're justified.
(21:04):
Don't do it because somebodypressures you into it.
And remember that there are noheroes or villains in the world.
Conventional morality good andevil, black and white is a
security blanket for dullardsand a cudgel for goons.
Yes, there's polarity in theworld.
There's masculine and feminine.
There's life and death in andout.
Sure, it is and it isn't.
(21:27):
That's also polarity.
There's also multiplicity.
The world is fractally complex.
All things have polarity,unless they don't.
Morality is a justification forbeing boring, insufferable,
contributing nothing new to theworld, not owning your own
proclivities, transmuting yourcruelty through passive
(21:48):
aggression and prohibitions onfun and indulgence and freedom.
The things that you could have,they're right there for the
taking.
Just go get them.
If you could just understandwhat you really want.
And the way to do that is tolisten to your instincts, feel
the flow of blood in your body,feel your natural drives for
(22:10):
time immemorial.
You know what to do.
Your body knows what to do.
Your instincts are good.
Your gut is good.
Listen, pay attention.
Just go with the flow.
You don't even have to makedecisions.
You know what to do.
Don't let people tell you whatto do.
They don't know better than youdo as much as they like to
think, they do as much as theirstatus and perhaps their income
(22:34):
and certainly theiropportunities to take advantage,
avail themselves of graft andgrift depend on establishing an
aura of ersatz authority.
Don't believe it.
And when you question it,expect to be challenged.
I can't help myself.
I want to antagonize thesebastards, I want to make them
feel uncomfortable.
(22:54):
You don't necessarily have todo the same thing.
It depends on theresponsibility that you take
upon yourself.
I think of myself as an artistand I believe that the
responsibility of the artist andart is to provoke.
Sex is where we hide things.
Sex is everything, sex is God,and so all art must be erotic in
(23:15):
one way or another.
And if it isn't intentionally,it will be accidentally, and
sometimes that will presentitself as a humiliating,
unintentional self-disclosure.
If you look for it, it's there.
We can't hide it.
We want to live it, and artshould be obscene, it should be
shocking in one way or another,and there are many roads up that
(23:37):
.
If you'd been around in the1950s, would you have supported
segregation?
Would you support slavery inthe South?
Would you support apartheid inSouth Africa?
(23:58):
Would you support thesubjugation of women?
You should disagree with theconsensus that at least a few
things.
Be vocal about those things Ifyou want to stand out and make a
difference and contribute tothe culture of your time.
I think that's an obligation.
I have much to offer as a sadist, as an intellectual, as a
philosopher of sorts.
(24:19):
I intend to give that to theworld, regardless of the risk to
my own safety, because they canmake me feel unsafe.
They can waste my time byantagonizing me, trying to throw
me off balance.
They can manipulate my emotions.
Of course I have them.
Denying that would be the mostpathetic form of weakness.
(24:39):
They cannot take my sovereigntyand they cannot really up with
my freedom.
They can throw me in a prisoncell and I can come up with the
most debauched tales and createan inner hell of the likes that
they would never imagine, and atleast in my own sanctum
sanctorum, in my chamber ofsecrets, in my hellish inner
(25:00):
world.
I will always be a free man.
I can transmute that into art.
I can provide my wisdom andadvice for people who seek it
out, create transgressiveliterature.
I can always be a libertine inmy heart and soul.
Like Jimmy Carter, I can commitlust in my heart and I do so
with bloodthirsty enthusiasm andgusto and cruelty, the sort
(25:26):
that many people crave.
They can't admit it.
Once you get them behind theeight ball, you have a whole lot
of leverage, and don't thinkthat they have the same leverage
over you.
You might If you have shame.
Other people have leverage Ifyou take joy and intelligent
pride not foolish, ill-advisedpride, but the fun kind of pride
(25:48):
in who you are you become whoyou are on a constant, ongoing
basis.
No one can really take awayyour freedom.
Your sovereignty is not secure.
Nothing ever is.
It's not truly yours.
It could be taken away with athwack to the side of the head
or even a major shakeup ortrauma in life.
It can shuffle your prioritiesand perhaps you'll have to think
(26:09):
about something else for awhile.
But it is your own now.
(28:02):
Keep it that way, thank you.
Thank you.
90% of podcasts don't get pastepisode 3, so make those
episodes count.
(28:23):
To make episode 1 an absolutebarn burner.
That's impossible to ignorewithout dying, test it on rats.
Now that you've got us on yourside for episode 2, open a vein,
bleed into our ears and destroyour lives in a manner that's
incontrovertible and oddlyerotic.
Episode three is art.
It makes no sense and yetforces us to confront the lies
we tell to hide from the miseryof our lives.
Mazel Tov, you made it.
(28:44):
If you want to start another, Ican't stop you.
Quality is wet trash.
Well, it's one of the reasons,and it's an important one to fix
.
Anywhere you get your podcastsis saturated with them.
(29:15):
No one can handle thatavalanche of content in 10
lifetimes.
Painfully pristine audioquality is non-negotiable.
People on YouTube will tell youthat you can do that at home or
even on an iPhone, if you knowwhat you're doing.
You don't, and they are icecold straight up lying to you.
There's no way to make yourpodcast sound good without
(29:36):
throwing down a lot of money.
You should really hire anengineer.
The engineer will hate you andyour podcast, but they'll
appreciate the work which youcould give them if you had money
, which you don't.
Your podcast was supposed tomake money and we both know how
that's going.
Gee, it's August in LA, Is ithot?
Don't waste time withhypotheticals.
The correct way to gettop-of-the-line audio equipment
(29:59):
is to steal it.
How do you think hip-hopstarted the New York Blackouts?
What are you gonna do?
Find a mark who works for thecity, Either seduce them or say
hey, I have a podcast.
It's kind of like this AmericanLife.
I'm going to do a heartwarmingand belly-tickling story about
how I embraced my identity as aLevian Satanist on the subway
(30:21):
system.
Please send me a map.
Please send me a detailed mapof the subway system and throw
in the electrical grid whileyou're at it.
They'll do it.
You have a podcast.
It's not the only good podcast,but it will be, because now you
can shut down the city'selectricity, steal all the
equipment you want, make apodcast that combines existing
(30:43):
elements in fascinating ways andexplores the violent, loving
and hilarious extremes of thecapabilities of the English
language.
With the best audio equipmentyou could steal, you have a
chance, which you created, forthe violent, loving and
hilarious extremes of thecapabilities of the English
language, the best audioequipment you could steal.
You have a chance which youcreated for yourself, because
that's how luck happens andthat's how you're going to make
the only good podcast.
Well, the audio quality isn'tthe only thing you're dealing
(31:05):
with.
You have miles to go before yousleep.
But I'm Emerson Dameron.
I'm a podcast consultant,making podcasts dangerous.
Again, the game is to be sold,not to be told.
So get in touch and we'll talkrates.
They're reasonable.
We're not even talking turkey.
They're like emaciated seagullrates.
Before the seagull found aLittle Caesars hot and ready on
(31:26):
the sidewalk.
That was a glorious moment.
(31:49):
Manhood in its rawest, mostauthentic form is a force for
beastly sovereignty of the soul.
So get your podcast on theBonebox Network.
Being a real man meansmastering your craft, whether
it's harpooning whales, buildingtrebuchets with your hands or
letting the levels go into thered.
But not stay there.
Society loves weakness.
It wants to shame you intosilence.
(32:11):
It's given up on personalresponsibility, and that's not
your fault.
So get on the mic and ravagethis world with unapologetic
masculinity.
When you're wrong, dare todouble down.
If they push back, let themknow you're just a comedian and
a meathead, so jacked up onadrenaline and sleep deprivation
you have no idea what words arespewing out of your mouth.
For a minute it sounded likePortuguese, a language you
(32:32):
neither speak nor understand.
Now it's a mix of barbaricyawps and cocky, virile
echolalia and you wish you couldgo home, but you've forgotten
how to shut down the livestreamon the Bonebox Network.
A brutal brotherhood of realmen, real power and real
podcasts State of the art ofpodcasting.
It's time.
I'm the person for that job,being an expert as I am being.
(32:54):
That it's a business I want toget into, and the best way to
get into a business is to getthe attention of the movers and
shakers they're in, and the bestway to get their attention is
to annoy them.
I think it's like negging.
You take them down a notch.
(33:14):
If they feel really good aboutthemselves, they'll notice when
shots are fired, and you can dothat.
You can roast people, Pull outthe samurai sword and slice
right through the BS, and you'rethe only person who can do it.
You have the only good podcast,which is Emerson Dameron's
Medicated Minutes.
Desert Oracle gets an honorablemention.
That's the closest thing we'vegot to a good podcast outside of
this one.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
And.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
I respect that.
I admire Ken Lane quite a bit.
I find his show very inspiring.
He's no Joe Frank and Joe Frankis no Emerson Dameron.
He was never LA's number onemotivational speaker of the
avant-garde persuasion.
He wasn't trying to help people.
Well, maybe he was trying.
I'm actually doing it.
I am helping people and I'mgoing to hurt people in the ways
(33:53):
that help them, by roastingthem, specifically everybody
that works in podcasting.
I think it'll go well.
You're freaking out, you havenicks not nothing to freak out
(34:32):
about, which makes it hard tostop freaking out.
If you're not freaking outabout anything, you can't stop
freaking out because you don'thave to deal with anything in
particular anymore.
So you just keep freaking outbecause it's got some momentum
behind it, it's exciting, itfeels like you're juiced up,
You're ready to go, you're goingto accomplish something.
Of course you don't, once again, because you can't solve the
(34:55):
problem inside of the problemspace.
I'm not saying don't freak out.
Don't even get wrapped aroundthe idea that freaking out is
something bad.
It just happens.
It's just feelings, it'semotions.
Let it pass, come and go andleave you alone.
Let that happen.
It's not.
Information Doesn't meananything.
(35:15):
Calm down, find whatever waysyou can to calm down.
You're a lot easier to dealwith For me and for others.
Chilling Cannabis edibles doyou good, unlike some other
substances that you put in yourbody temple.
Some of that stuff is fun at theparty.
Party's got to wind downeventually.
(35:36):
You are in a position where youmight want to marshal your
resources and make use of yourfaculties in the best shape you
can have them in throughhydrating, through meditating
and working out.
You don't know where to start?
Go ask somebody, figure it out.
If it's a big waste of time,you can always start screwing up
(35:58):
again.
Love and violence areintertwined.
Slow down, do a little bit at atime.
You can't do everything thatyou want to do.
There's not time.
You got to do things well.
You got to do something well.
Pick something and do that well.
Do it, apply yourself, get intoit, get your fingers in the
grease, get into the craft, theart, the joy, the love of doing
(36:22):
the thing.
Do it as a gift to yourself.
Do one of your things and makeit super good.
You'll start to get maybe someresults.
At least the result of puttingout something that you're
genuinely proud of Always feelsgood.
Give it a try, give it a shot,give it a shake of the dice,
take a swing, take a spin, giveit a whirl, play the game, get
(36:46):
into it, prioritize, figure outwhat's important Right now.
Money is important, unfortunate,but you can't do anything else
without some money, and that's alot of the reason for the panic
, the self-reproach, self-hate,because you feel like you're not
taking care of yourself and,frankly, you could be doing a
better job.
You have what it takes.
(37:07):
You can do it.
I've seen you do it before.
All you need to do is get acouple of wins on the board,
maybe just one.
Get some momentum, get somestuff happening and go for it.
It's not that hard.
Get one big thing moving andother stuff will start to move
in tune.
Get in the flow.
Call you know who when you geta chance.
(37:27):
Be very civil, be adult, politeand understanding, including of
yourself.
Don't back down.
Don't apologize.
You don't have to apologizeanymore.
You've apologized enough for adozen lifetimes, but worth
preserving, if it can bepreserved.
Present it as you need acertain kind of support from
(37:48):
your friends, from the crew,from the troop right now.
You need that real love andrespect that you can feel.
You need support while you'regetting back on your feet.
You got to find the people wholove you.
Love them, the circle of love.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 am.
Kchungradioorg.
You're listening to EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes.
La's number one avant-gardepersonal development program.
The only good podcast, thankyou.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Your podcast is one of the good podcasts.
Good podcasts like yours makepeople smarter.
They did MRIs.
It's science.
Music makes people dumber.
That's just obvious, even JohnColtrane.
Your listeners love you in away that doesn't make you
uncomfortable.
You can get any guest on yourpodcast, ask tough, obnoxious
questions and still becomefriends and confidants in the
(39:42):
ins and outs of the business.
You have the power ofpersuasion to convince sponsors
they're not setting their moneyon fire and for now that's what
matters.
You're profoundly at peace withyour current level of success
and when you break throughyou'll be ready.
You believe in your podcastbecause your podcast is the
first and only good podcast.
(40:04):
It's a blank canvas.
Almost everyone uses one of twoto four formats for everything.
I don't believe that that'ssome kind of Jungian situation.
It's an opportunity to dosomething out of left field.
I'm here for it.
(40:24):
I love experimental stuff Radio, theater, music, concrete.
Whatever?
you got.
Give it to me, I'm ready.
I was born ready for this.
I like it scattered, smotheredand covered to me.
I'm ready, I was born ready forthis.
I like it scattered, smotheredand covered, and also diced,
mixed up like eclecticism Forits own sake.
I'm a post-modernist.
I'm not afraid to admit it.
I may be the only one.
What else do I like?
(40:45):
You do have to hook me in thefirst couple of minutes, which
means you can't have ads for thefirst five minutes.
Sorry, I know that's a primespot.
The saturation of ads isannoying across the board.
There's gotta be some way tomonetize this.
Maybe the Canadian government.
Yeah, something, take a day ofrest, just do it.
(41:10):
Take a break, god damn it.
You're not even accomplishinganything.
You're working yourself todeath.
It's ridiculous.
I hate this.
Stop it.
Take a break Right now.
Yeah, you want me to say itagain?
Repeat back what I said.
Are you gonna take a break?
Are you gonna do it?
Can you follow instructions?
You need a break.
How many times have I said it?
Take some time off, take five.
(41:33):
You asshole, you moron.
God damn it.
Pick out the vibe man, then thenext one.
Put a little of that oldrazzle-dazzle in it, you still
(41:56):
got it.
You're the one with all theseodd products that you want
people to purchase to supportyou and to bring a little bit of
your juju into their lives Inan unprotected sexual way For
their ears and this right intotheir brains.
Audio is an intimate medium.
People like the video.
People watch Joe Rogan talk topeople for four hours.
(42:18):
Why would you do that, unlessyou're uncomfortable with just
the audio?
Compared to the whole thing, Ilike the audio exclusive
experiences.
It's a certain very intense kindof intimacy.
I'm an auditory, thinker andlearner, etc.
I can also understand pictureswhen I look at them.
Frame don't aim, I can takephotographs.
(42:39):
I'm the only person that canget a photograph of a sunset in
LA that does it justice on aSamsung phone, on that camera.
I did it.
Everybody else sucks becausethey can't do that.
I'm the only one who can.
People need to get on my level.
Audio, the spoken word Music.
I wish I'd known when I wasyounger how easy music is to
make.
(43:00):
I always thought it was a craftpracticed by professionals, all
of whom seemed to be rich,except for my dad and his
friends.
They were musicians and theywere not especially wealthy.
But all of the other musiciansI could think of Phil Collins,
prince Men at Work at one timewere all wealthy To an extent.
The late Steve Albiney breaksit down how they're getting
(43:22):
taken.
Did you know there used to be awhole music industry?
Now it's Kevin Kelly's 1,000true fans economy, and boy is it
more hellish than anyone couldhave possibly anticipated,
except for people getting richoff of it, which you know.
If there's a gold rush,somebody's gonna make money
selling shovels.
If there's a drug dealer bustedunder a streetlight, he'll come
(43:44):
back and shoot out thestreetlight and then you'll bust
him again Because you're a copand a rat and a sellout and it
sends somebody set it to yourface.
It's so like me.
Oh my god.
What is this?
What is the world?
Could I only perceive thingsbecause I am those things.
Projecting them onto otherpeople is the cowardice.
I'm kicking the can.
(44:05):
I'm developing myself, growth,healing.
Who is this mage, this muse?
Before my teacher, I would bowbefore you and lick between your
toes if I thought that's whatyou wanted.
I think, we both know what youwant.
You're going to be not runningthe show because you always have
to make decisions.
Your life is full of choicesand responsibilities and
(44:27):
zero-sum games that you have toplay.
You're a hustler and that'sbeautiful and you have a heart
and you maintain those thingsand that's a lot of hard work
and you're not gonna have toworry about that in a little bit
, because I'm gonna take it fromhere.
You're gonna take it as well Ifyou beg for it.
If you look me straight in theeyes, I'll give you a good smack
(44:47):
across the face and not aHollywood smack.
I've received your feedback andI've taken it to heart.
You want the real deal, thefull production.
It's coming, and that's farfrom the only thing that's
coming in that situation.
I'm going to use you.
However I want.
You're going to love it, andthat's the explanation for all
of the previous content.
Amen and Thank you so?
(46:23):
Your combination of intimidatingbrilliance and primal animal
magnetism is intimidating for alot of people.
It represents for them the fearat the threshold of adventure,
and they may be right to feelthat way.
You may be too much for them.
There are people that cannothandle the journey that you're
(46:45):
going on, but make it clearyou're going in regardless and
if they get left behind, anyregret that results from that is
on them because they botched it.
Anyone would be lucky to knowyou.
Anyone would be lucky to spendtime by your side.
You are a cure for boredom andyou can cure them with a wink of
the eye and a snap of yourfingers.
(47:06):
You enrich and defile thepeople that come into your life
in all the right ways.
It is your artistic practice.
It is your gift to the worldno-transcript.
(47:53):
The show that loves you back,levity, saves lives.
Churn, I'll give you a churn.
Give you the churniest churnthat ever got churned.
I burn with my churn.
It's a churn befitting LA'snumber one avant-garde personal
development program, which is,of course, of course, of course,
emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes.
(48:14):
I'm Emerson Dameron, your bestfriend, possibly in the world,
the guy who gets it, perhaps theonly person who really
understands in this world ofLegion, broken Souls and Misfit
Toys.
Doesn't it feel good to begotten?
A lot of people never get tofeel that way, and you do, at
(48:34):
least once a month, at thebeginning of the month, to get
things started right.
First Wednesday of the month, 7pm Pacific on K-Chum,
kchumradioorg and becoming theonly good podcast.
I'm Emerson Dameron.
I love you personally.
Liberty saves lives.
It, I love you personally.
Liberty saves lives.
That's easy to forget, that.
It's hard to forget some of thethings that would be better,
(48:56):
more useful to forget, to unload, offload, banish.
So right now, take thisopportunity.
What is something that youcan't let go?
What is something that tormentsyou, bedevils you way past the
point of any relevance?
Your brain is trying to help,and what it does when it's
trying to help is it ruminatesbecause it thinks it's solving
(49:19):
the problem.
My friend, it is not.
Your brain is stupid.
The only way to understand isto understand that you will
never understand.
And the only way to really knowcapital K, capital N, capital O
, capital W is to forgeteverything you have ever known.
So join me in our ritual offorgetfulness, which must be
(49:40):
celebrated.
I only invite you to thisbecause that's how much I love
you, how much do I love you.
I'm the only person who reallyunderstands you, might be the
only person who reallyunderstands me that's not true,
but I'll make you feel that way.
When we're together, we share amutual bond, and when I am with
you, you are the only person inthe universe to me.
(50:01):
I would hope to feel that wayto you even when I'm not around,
because you understand objectpermanence, and that's one of
the things I love about you.
You are so smart, so scarysmart, so frighteningly,
bafflingly sexy, and I love youfor that and for everything else
(50:22):
about you.
And just because and that's whyI want to destroy you, I want
the big death.
The orgasm is described by theFrench as le petit mort, the
little death.
I want the big one.
I want to destroy you andmyself.
I want to be immolated in thedestruction, in the catastrophe,
in the little apocalypsebrought about to extinguish your
(50:46):
existence.
I want you to go first.
I will follow soon after that.
You can trust me.
I'm the person who's destroyingyou and that's possibly the
nicest thing that anyone hasever done for me.
The least you can do is go alongwith it.
Let me run this.
I got this.
It's your birthday, you don'thave to do anything.
Perhaps none of us have to doanything.
(51:07):
Perhaps everything we do in theeffort to make things better
only creates new problems andmakes things ultimately worse,
because we are creating problemsat a faster rate than we can
solve them, which is the wholepoint, I suppose.
But why are we doing this?
Does it really matter?
We're burying ourselves, we arekilling ourselves.
(51:29):
It is suicide on theinstallment plan.
Nothing neat, nothing elegantabout it.
It is dangerous and pathetic.
It is dangerous to be asrisk-averse as many poor souls
in this world are becoming, andthat's why we gotta snap out of
that, even if it's over.
You know it is over.
Let's be adults about this.
(51:49):
You know, and I know that wecan't really talk about it
because you gotta believe thatthere's a possibility that we
could come back, but from agrown-up perspective.
Let's be real.
You're in my office, let's justtalk about this.
It's hopeless.
We are so thoroughly bonedthere's no coming back.
But if we do when we do, whenwe're back it is gonna feel that
(52:13):
much better Because we almostgave up for a while.
Everybody else did in ourcohort.
And look at them now or ratherdon't, because you can't find
them, because they're nowhere.
All that matters is survivalEndurance.
That's not really all of it.
You got to take some chances,and that's really all of it.
You gotta take some chances,and that's really part of
(52:33):
survival.
You gotta not prioritizesurviving in order to really do
it in style.
You gotta just not care.
You gotta put your life on theline in order to come back hard,
the way that you're talkingabout doing it, and that's in
anticipation of embarking foranother land, because we're
gonna get out of this peace.
There is no peace, there's onlywar forevermoremore.
(52:54):
And that's pretty hot as far asit goes.
We've been sizzling for aminute.
It's too much cortisol, toomuch post-traumatic stress.
We're going to try it in adifferent place, perhaps
somewhere newer, somewhere withchiseled mountains, trails that
take us in a new direction.
That's how we're moving.
That's how we're moving.
That's how we're doing it.
In the meantime, you can helpme and perhaps yourself, really
(53:18):
more yourself.
There's only calculatedaltruism, Unless it's impulsive.
And you just did it.
When you were high, you made thedecision to support me in
buying drugs by donating to theBuy Drugs for Emerson Dameron
Fund.
These are antidepressants.
Of course you knew that.
You knew that I wouldn't try toraise money and spend it on
(53:39):
illicit drugs.
I'm not going to have any fun.
If that's what you're afraid of, don't even worry about it.
I just need these things tostop from killing myself.
And if I can do that, I can behere for you as well, because I
have walked through the valleyof the shadow of death.
I whistled all the way and Itook some pictures and now we
(54:00):
can look at them together,perhaps see where that takes us,
maybe end up doing other thingstogether.
But you gotta first of all givea generous donation, give until
it hurts to the Buy Drugs forEmerson Dameron Fund, and that
could be part of your breakingout of the way that you thought
things were going to be the wayyou thought that they should be,
(54:20):
back when the concept of shouldcarried some currency, some
weight, some purchase, when youcould exchange that for real
American dollars.
That never was the case.
That for real American dollars.
That never was the case.
Had you tried, had you takenyour shoulds to the bank, they
would have said get that shouldout of here.
You are full of should.
What we need is do.
(54:41):
It's not about what you don'tdo, it's what you crap out of
your ass like a newborn baby.
Back when you were authentic,that's what you were doing.
So in order to really get intouch with your primal essence.
That involves taking a crap inyour diaper.
I hope you're authentic.
That's what you were doing.
So in order to really get intouch with your primal essence,
that involves taking a crap inyour diaper.
I hope you're ready for that.
Some people are enthusiasticabout it.
I know More power to ya.
(55:01):
I feel like a world with morediaper fetishists out of the
closet would perhaps be a better, easier world to live in.
I don't think it would reallyaffect me that much.
I'd be surprised, but you knowI've been surprised before.
Life is full of them.
Well, it surprises.
I'm hoping that someone willsurprise me with some beef.
I need to beef with someone inorder to stay sharp.
(55:24):
I'm out of practice.
All of my beefs are ancient.
At this point I'm not evenreally angry anymore.
What was I ever angry about?
Remind me.
Bring me back to life.
Bring me back to the surface,where people are petty and pick
fights over nothing.
Start a feud with me.
It doesn't even have to be thatbig a deal.
It can be pure kayfabe.
(55:45):
We can have fun with it.
We can get together.
We can have like a writer'sroom meeting where we decide how
we're going to get into it.
You can reveal some of yourweaknesses to me.
I will, in turn, give you somepointers on weak spots of mine
to hit and we can go at it.
We can go to town and we candraw a lot of attention to both
(56:05):
of us, and no one has to win,nobody has to lose.
We can keep going indefinitely.
This could be much like theInfinite Game, a case of
infinite beef, where, ratherthan squashing the beef or
choosing a victor, the point isto keep the beef going, and
that's called the beef of life.
That's where the real sizzle is.
Just because there's smokedoesn't mean there's beef, but
(56:28):
let's smoke up before we startbeefing.
That'll make it moreentertaining all around.
I believe you know what.
Let's do something else.
Let's cast everything out.
Let's go back to basics andforget all of this.
Banish the nonsense, perish thethought.
Perish the other thought aswell.
Perish all the thoughts, perishyour first principles, all of
(56:50):
your priors.
Wipe your hard drive clean.
Put a hammer through the frontof your television when you're
out in your back alley and youwant to get rid of it because
you don't even know if it worksanymore.
But you know what it does do,and now its most important
function possibly ever is to bedestroyed by you.
The only way to really love itis to love it to death.
(57:10):
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes
Medicated-Minutescom.
I'm Emerson Dameron who issolely responsible for the
content of this show.
I love you personally.
Levity saves lives For now, notforever, but that's okay.
(57:49):
You steal audio equipment fromthe right people.
You might put an end tolate-stage capitalism.
It's called late-stage for areason.
It shouldn't be that hard totake down.
People might love you for that,but not if your podcast is
terrible, if you can't stopdaydreaming about casual sex but
(58:18):
you're scared of getting hurtor humiliated and you're burned
out on draining, dead-end dateswith disappointing boy men.
Stay tuned, because hot, dizzynights of exciting, ecstatic,
cathartic sex can be yours whenyou discover casual sex with
Emerson Dameron.
Emerson Dameron comes equippedwith an omnivorous mind, a
soulful, penetrating gaze andgifts for deep kissing and
thrilling, chilling, dirty talk.
(58:39):
Get the playfulness, passionand patience you crave with a
dominant, sensitive and fullypresent man who knows how to
throw you around and when toleave you alone.
Make a casual, caringconnection and get hot, healthy
hookups with a selection ofkinky upgrades and a strong
probability of cascading orgasms.
With Emerson Dameron, fun comesfirst, and so do you.
(59:02):
Have casual sex with EmersonDameron today or, realistically,
early next week.
Thank you, bye.
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