August 6, 2025 • 60 mins
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
(IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME)
Your self-sabotage has better timing than a cosmic laugh track, and your emotional baggage would make Marie Kondo have an existential crisis. But stay tuned, because this episode is about to turn your personal hell into performance art.
Welcome to Los Angeles, where the sunrise is always Instagram-ready and meditation studios outnumber therapy offices because nobody can afford both. We're diving deep into the beautiful mess of being human while the city pretends it isn't having a collective nervous breakdown.
Get ready for:
- Why your stress isn't a design flaw – it's a feature of being deliciously alive
- How to turn your emotional dumpster fire into a beacon of self-discovery
- The art of laughing at yourself before the universe beats you to the punchline
- Why your dreams are trying to tell you something (and it's probably not what your shaman thinks)
This isn't another mindfulness masterclass where you'll learn to breathe your way out of existence. This is a full-contact sport with your shadow self, and spoiler alert: it fights dirty.
WARNING: Side effects may include:
- Sudden attacks of authentic self-expression
- The ability to find humor in your trauma
- Decreased effectiveness of your usual self-sabotage techniques
- Uncontrollable urges to write poetry about your pain
- A strange new comfort with being uncomfortable
Listen as we explore why your personal growth looks more like interpretive dance than a linear journey, and why that's sexier than any self-help book you'll never finish reading.
From sunrise ceremonies to midnight meltdowns, we're teaching you to embrace the cosmic comedy of trying to fix yourself while the universe keeps changing the punchline.
Stop pretending you've got your shit together. Start collecting the pieces like they're limited edition trading cards of your evolution.
Available now wherever you get your permission to be gloriously imperfect.
Remember: Growth isn't a journey. It's a series of beautiful disasters that eventually make sense – or don't. And that's the joke we're all part of.
Trust me. I'm just as fucked up as you are, and that's exactly why you should listen.
Welcome to the revolution between your breakdowns.
Got something to say to me? Slide into the DMs.
It's OUT! Sophistication Nation: Brief Interviews with Women I Pretend to Understand: https://emersondameron.hearnow.com/sophistication-nation
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sunrise Serenade Smooth, bold and just a little
dangerous Just how I like mybeach days.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
My darling, you're as dangerous as a crinkle-cut
french fry.
I am delicious.
That exquisitely twisted adultbeverage has gone to your head
and I'm trying to give you aheart attack.
Put that skateboard away beforeyou hurt yourself.
It's my job.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Sunrise Serenade it's the only thing hotter than me
you got nothing to worry aboutexcept the heat death of your
ego.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Miss Diva in her own mind.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Here's to Sunrise Serenade, the drink that makes
every moment unique, sexy,unforgettable, like me,
Unforgettable is a backhandedcompliment.
Oh, maybe I could use somediscipline.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Sunrise Serenade.
Can you keep a secret?
Sunrise Serenade is my urine,my piss.
I bottle my piss and I sell it.
I've always been 100% upfrontabout that, because I'm not the
one with the problem.
Want some.
Sunrise Serenade.
Hey, hey you Friend Pal of mine, ace, it's okay, you're just
freaking out, relax.
(01:00):
There's one way out of this,through this, around this,
whatever you want to call it,and that's to slow down.
Just breathe all the way downinto your belly, zoom out as
much as you can.
Look at this from the perch ofyour highest intelligence.
(01:21):
It's just a thing.
You're just getting thereaction that's supposed to help
you deal with stress, becausethis is what was developed to
deal with large predators.
We don't have large predatorsanymore, we just have these
complex, stressful situations.
We get overwhelmed with thechemicals kick in that freak us
out and make us think that we'regonna die and make us think
that we're not able to do this.
(01:41):
We're not up to the challenge.
We're not everything that wewant to think we are.
We got to get out of that.
You will not solve the problemin the problem space.
You got to back up.
You got to bring you know, letthe mind percolate, go, do
something else.
You will not come up with asolution if you can't stop
thinking about the problem.
Your brain, thinking directlyabout the problem is not going
(02:04):
to come up with anythingcreative, not anything that's
going to get you out of this.
It's going to get you deeperinto this because that's what it
thinks helps.
Just calm down, relax as muchas you possibly can.
I'm Kate Chung K-Chung, losAngeles, 1630.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
AM K-Chung radioorg Emerson Dameron's Medicated
Minutes L-A, number one eventguard, personal development
(03:02):
program, home of the firstchurch of the Satanic Buddha,
and Bite-sized erotic thrillers.
Improve yourself beforeeverybody else does.
That's kinky Levity saves lives.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchungradioorg.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes
medicated-minutescom.
I am Emerson Dameron, theproducer, writer, director, host
and witty, wounded romantichero of Emerson Dameron's
Medicated Minutes.
Scratch a witty cynic andyou'll get a wounded romantic.
That is very true of me.
And levity saves lives.
(03:53):
Sometimes I do get stuck on thepast.
I try to ask myself what'sfunny about this.
How can levity save my liferetroactively and what can I
learn from this?
Levity save my liferetroactively and what can I
learn from this?
How can I improve in the futureas a result of these
experiences and my insights as Iintegrate them, because I do
(04:13):
like to take responsibility foras much of my life as I can.
I don't think that everythingis my fault, but it's an
interesting thought experimentsometimes.
What if I am responsible foreverything?
What if I am the architect andauteur of my own experience?
How do I handle thatresponsibility?
To what extent is that true IfI behave as if it's true?
(04:34):
What happens?
You may be listening to thislive on K-Chung.
That happens every firstWednesday of the month at 7
o'clock Pacific.
We convene to talk sex, drugs,power, psychology, philosophy,
self-help, satanic Buddhism andmuch more.
Sometimes we do a featurecalled Ask a Sadist.
(04:56):
You're always in good shapewith a sadist on your side and
we have miniature eroticthrillers.
Short, those are bite-sizederotic thrillers.
They're all well under the90-minute mark.
The stylish and titillating andoften ridiculous erotic
thrillers from the 80s and 90sthat were covered on you Must
(05:19):
Remember this and have beenhaving a bit of a renaissance
lately.
The work of Brian De Palma andAdrian Lyne, crimes of Passion,
nine and a half weeks, cinematicMasterpieces those are my
inspiration.
You can catch those on the show, but it's really about you, the
most interesting topic in theworld, and you may be listening
live.
You may be listeningasynchronously via the podcast
(05:42):
through medicated-minutescom orwherever you consume your
podcasts.
We're on Spotify and AppleMusic, podchaser, pocket Casts,
podfriend, all the good ones.
There are a few episodes onSoundCloud, but the point is
this might be light from a deadstar, this might be a broadcast
from the past, but you are inthe present, even if you don't
(06:04):
want to be, even if you insiston living in the past or the
future.
The present is the only placewhere anything worthwhile is
happening and it behooves you tobring yourself back to the
present.
There are some advantages ofthinking into the future If
you're thinking strategicallyand cautiously not necessarily
(06:25):
optimistic.
Enthusiasm is good andenthusiasm combined with
pessimism is a killercombination.
If you enthusiastically walk inknowing the worst that could
happen and being prepared for itand going over every detail and
listening to any weird feelingthat you have that something
(06:45):
might be off, and doublechecking your work, you're in
good shape.
So you don't necessarily haveto be optimistic.
Be realistic, know what you'regetting into, but don't focus
too much on the future becauseit's not promised.
There's all kinds of risk in LosAngeles.
There are so many glorious waysto die.
It could happen at any time.
The big one could hit us.
There's all kinds of risk inLos Angeles.
There are so many glorious waysto die.
(07:06):
It could happen at any time.
The big one could hit us.
We could all go down.
There could be a tsunami, tidalwave, all kinds of things could
happen.
Be prepared for the future,because it's a good chance that
we're all going to live a littlebit longer, probably at least
to the end of the show.
But the present is where theaction is and you want to repeat
(07:27):
to yourself the past is dead,the past is dead, the past is
dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
As many times as it takes, asmany times as it takes to short
circuit your negative talk toyourself about what happened in
the past, how you screwed it up,how you feel guilty, let it go,
(07:48):
it's over and done with.
You've probably alreadyapologized.
If you've apologized a lot, youneed to apologize for that,
because really you just need toapologize once.
People are either going toforgive you or they're not.
If it's a meaningful andsincere apology, that'll
probably get through to them atsome level.
If they don't want to hear fromyou, leave them alone,
regardless.
Get on with your life.
(08:08):
Getting stuck in the past willmake you miss out on the
opportunities and indeed thechallenges and hazards of the
present.
It's easy to get stuck in thepast when something painful
happened in the relativelyrecent past, which could be 28
years ago, depending on howpainful it was.
But it's usually something like, in my experience, a breakup
(08:30):
that happened within the lastyear or so.
That brings me down.
It's put me in dark anddangerous places.
Apparently, it kind of helpedkill Anthony Bourdain.
It can be a not good, not safespace to be in and one can get
addicted to certain kinds ofsuffering, mental anguish.
I have a looping internalmonologue that can be downright
(08:52):
abusive.
If anyone else talked to me theway that I sometimes talk to
myself, I would get arestraining order and a large
dog and a ring system.
But it's just me and I tellmyself that I'm not doing any
harm if I take my anger out onmyself.
That's not true.
I'm hurting everyone in my lifeby proxy.
I'm hurting myself.
I'm missing out on good things,interesting things, challenging
(09:14):
things, things that need myattention, that are going on
here and now.
If you have the same issue withgetting wrapped around the axle
of stuff that's happened, I'msure breakups are hard for
everybody.
I went through a divorcerecently.
I still have open wounds fromthat.
I totally get it.
You have to mourn those lossesand that comes with grief and
(09:34):
regret and anger.
But it is possible to getaddicted to that.
It can be easier to stay inwhat's safe and familiar note
the similarity to the wordfamily there than it is, or
seems to be, to get out of thatand do something dangerous.
But that provides theopportunity for a new experience
.
I would switch addictions.
(09:55):
I would say if you're addictedto suffering and misery and
self-recrimination and guiltover a breakup, try sex
addiction Just for a while.
It's probably not going tosolve your problems.
You may be unhappy.
A lot of people are sex addictsand they don't seem to enjoy it
that much.
Find out for yourself.
Don't take their word for it.
(10:16):
Give it a shot.
It'll be very different on theother side of the spectrum from
your current experience.
You can do it.
Many dumber and uglier peoplehave pulled it off.
All you have to do is get outthere and be proactive and
prepare and then put yourself inthe way of opportunity and get
in the mix and know that it's anhonor and a pleasure for anyone
(10:38):
to spend time with you as alistener of Emerson Dameron's
Medicated Minutes.
You are one of the elite and youare always self-developing.
This is LA's number oneavant-garde self-development
program.
So that means even if you don'tget the jokes, it makes you
sophisticated to listen to it.
You're always betteringyourself and exploring the most
(11:00):
fascinating topic in the world,which is you, and it is helping
you through inspiration andmotivation of the sort that has
helped countless listeners inLos Angeles and beyond.
I don't know how many, hencecountless.
It's a lot.
You are partaking of that andwhat I want you to do is
condition yourself on a dailybasis.
(11:21):
Give this an hour a day for 90days.
Condition yourself throughmantras, meditation, exercise,
hit a bag, get a punching bag inyour place, whatever it is that
gets the lightning boltscoursing through your nervous
system.
Do that and condition yourselfto be extremely aggressive in
going after what you want inlife.
(11:41):
You need to get to knowyourself to determine what you
really want.
Do that first.
Make a list of things that youwant in life.
If you need to get to knowyourself to determine what you
really want, do that first.
Make a list of things that youwant, and then things that you
wish that you didn't want andthings that you don't want
people to know that you wantThings that you wouldn't want me
to know that you want.
Make a list of those and startto figure out what you want, not
what you're supposed to want,not what other people want you
(12:01):
to want, what you really want,what your body says.
Yes, to Bring yourself into thepresent.
You can start making a plan toget what you want, but you gotta
be here to do that.
Perfect attendance in thepresent is the goal.
Guilt is a waste of time.
No complaining unless it'sentertaining.
See how close you can get thatto zero If you put the rubber
band around your wrist and snapit every time you hear yourself
(12:22):
complaining.
That's a good idea.
You can't change what alreadyhappened.
Replaying past mistakes overand over again will take you
into dark, dark territory.
Your brain thinks that it'ssolving problems.
That's what it thinks it'sdoing when it's ruminating,
because it's very stupid and itneeds some guidance from your
higher intelligence so that youdon't end up getting addicted to
(12:45):
mental anguish and getting sofamiliar with that that it's
what you know and it's scary toleave.
Before that happens, startmaking a deal with your brain to
come back here now and startgetting what you want.
Get serious about that andirreverent about it.
Make it fun.
Don't take it too soon.
Take it seriously and don'ttake it seriously.
Be all in balls to the wall,all out and all in
(13:09):
simultaneously.
See if you can pull that off.
That'll show them.
Get in there, get out there andbring yourself back here now to
the present, because it's theonly place where anything
worthwhile is happening.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes.
This is worthwhile and this ishappening right now.
Stay tuned, there's good stuffin the future.
There's good stuff in the past.
(13:30):
You would listen to the oldepisodes at medicated-minutescom
, but right now we've got biggerthings to do in the present.
We're going to catch the bigfish.
I don't know if we're going tofry it, we might just hang out
and see what it has to say.
If you are underwater and you'rebreathing easily underwater
without a diving suit, you'reprobably having a dream.
(13:52):
So if you see a big fish inthat context, do what you do if
you realize that you're dreaming, but you're still in the dream,
which is to ask the dreamcharacters if they have gifts
for you, if you can remember todo that Rare and beautiful, if
you have that opportunity, thatflash of lucidity to be able to
do that, if you see the big fishand you're deep on the ocean
(14:13):
floor, you're probably dreaming.
So ask the big fish what giftsit has for you, what wisdom it
has to impart, and then payattention, listen, sleep on it,
continue.
You're sleep on it, continue.
You're already sleeping on it.
Wake up on it.
Think about it the next morning, write it down.
If you don't write it downright away, you're probably
going to lose it.
Dream recall is very important.
(14:35):
I have always believed thatmeditation is not just an acute
affectation for people who livein Santa Monica and do yoga.
I think it's absolutelynecessary for dealing with the
avalanche of information we haveto deal with in the modern age.
I think it's the one way tokeep from losing your mind.
But I think dream recall ishuge in terms of figuring out
(14:58):
your own bigger story themeaning I have to make meaning
in my life I don't have kids.
The meaning I have to makemeaning in my life I don't have
kids, so I don't have that tofall back on.
And you can also make meaningin your life and have kids.
You're going to have long daysand be very tired, but you can
do it.
I've seen it done.
If you want to do that, join meand pay attention to your dreams
(15:19):
as you're having them in thepresent, and then write them
down and see how that pans outover the course of the next day.
Also, when you think about thedream, make a plan of action.
Think about how am I going toapply this to my life?
And think about that with allthe knowledge you pick up.
You don't need to read the news.
If it's not news, you can use.
It's important to kind of have abigger idea of what's going on
(15:41):
in the world and put things incontext, and it can be cocktail
party conversation, but you knowwhat's really good cocktail
party conversation Lettingpeople know that you're kicking
ass in the world and runninglaps around the competition.
And the way you do that is toapply the things that you learn.
That's what we're about onEmerson Dameron's Medicated
Minutes.
We're going to give you thetools of self-inquiry,
(16:01):
exploration and experiments.
We're going to give you thetools of self-inquiry,
exploration and experiments.
So the world will be yourlaboratory and you can try it
and see what happens.
If I had kids, that's theadvice I would give them.
I'm not going to have them, soI'm giving it to you.
We'll see you next time.
Bye, thank you, I'll see younext time.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Oh, darling, let me tell you, los Angeles is a fever
dream, wrapped in a piece ofcauliflower flatbread sprinkled
with bee pollen and served witha side of unsolicited advice.
It's a place where every cornerhides a guru with a didgeridoo,
whispering the secrets of theuniverse while selling you an
(18:53):
overpriced jade egg for yourinner peace, or wherever you're
meant to put it.
Now picture this I'm wanderingthrough Venice Beach.
Now picture this I'm wanderingthrough Venice Beach Well, not
wandering, striding, withpurpose, of course, as one does.
And there he is, this beardedAdonis, draped in organic linen,
(19:14):
sitting cross-legged on aHimalayan salt block.
He beckons me with a fingerthat Michelangelo himself could
have sculpted and he says Getthis Baby.
Your aura is starving, starvingas if my aura's been nibbling
(19:36):
on pita crisps and inhalingkombucha fumes instead of a
hearty existential stew.
I was riveted.
Naturally, he tells me I needto realign my energetic
vibrations.
And the way he said it withsuch conviction, I almost felt
guilty for not knowing myvibrations were misaligned to
begin with.
So, naturally, I handed over asmall fortune for a handcrafted
(19:59):
chakra harmonizer.
Yes it's just a rock, but hecalled it cosmic quartz.
Doesn't that just sound divine?
But then, oh the twist.
As I clutch my cosmic quartzand gaze deep into my starving
aura, I'm struck by the mostmarvelous realization.
(20:19):
Isn't the whole charade A bitof a lark?
I mean really.
The salt block guru, the jadeeggs, the cosmic quartz, it's
all one big performance, aself-help pantomime, if you will
, where everyone is pretendingto be both the damsel in
distress and the dashing saviour.
Los Angeles, darling, isn't acity, it's an installation piece
(20:44):
about the commodification ofenlightenment.
And we're all extras, millingabout the set in our louloulou
costumes, awaiting directionGenius, no.
At this point I think, helena,you're onto something.
Could the very act of seekingself-improvement be the most
(21:04):
gloriously self-defeating thingof all?
Like trying to mop up a puddlewith a sponge that's already
sopping wet.
So naturally, I decide tobecome a commentator on this
whole absurdity, a meta-guru, ifyou will, the guru who knows
she's a guru, which makes herbetter than the other gurus.
(21:25):
Or maybe worse or perhaps just abit more self-aware, which is
really the same thing in the end.
But here's the kicker love.
As I sit there cradling mycosmic quartz, waxing poetic on
the futility of seeking meaning,I realize I've come full circle
, because isn't pointing out theabsurdity of it all just
another way of saying look at me, I've figured it out.
(21:47):
And isn't that the most LosAngeles thing of all?
A hall of mirrors where everyreflection thinks it's the
original?
At any rate, I left my cosmicquartz on the salt block and
walked away, head held high,vibrating with a sort of smug
nihilism.
But of course I still booked asoundbar for later, because one
(22:07):
must keep one's options open,right, right.
Was it deliciously ironic?
Perhaps Was it simply delicious, absolutely.
Did I learn any lessons?
Did I experience an epiphany ora personal growth spurt, or
even a nice surreptitious orgasm?
Was any of this quote unquotereal in the traditional sense?
(22:30):
Honestly, I can't tell anymore.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Historically, I have a definite, measurable pattern
of attracting romantic partnersGerman-engineered to make me
miserable.
They don't do that.
Only I can make me miserable,but I find partners that can
help facilitate that, becausethey are specifically selected
by me subconsciously, by virtueof their ability to hit me where
(23:30):
it hurts, to perhaps talk meoff of the ledge, but also talk
me off of the pedestal, bring medown to earth, bring me way,
way down, where I have to digthrough the dirt to deal with
all of my worst qualities.
I have an image in my mind ofmy type, not a blonde with
freckles and really good at Imean someone who is my ideal
(23:53):
partner.
In that I feel like she's theyin to my yang, the masculine to
my feminine.
My completion meaning embodiesall of the elements that I deny
in myself Things that are partof me I wouldn't perceive them
if they weren't part of me butthings that I'm not comfortable
owning myself and that willprobably continue until I make
(24:15):
the unconscious conscious.
It will rule my life and I'llcall it fate.
So I end up with people who arevery willful, people who are
stubborn, won't do what I tellthem, and that's, of course, my
weird relationship with myself,not following through on things
I promised myself, reallytrusting myself, pattern of
(24:36):
self-sabotage all of thesethings certainly very much in
effect when it comes time to hitthe dating scene.
Certainly very much in effectwhen it comes time to hit the
dating scene.
What do I want?
My ideal relationship issomeone submissive but not
servile.
Someone who's powerful in theworld breaks down for me because
I give her a place to do that.
So I want to be a certain kindof person.
(24:56):
I could have that certain kindof partnership.
I should probably go aboutmaking myself that guy.
That's a lifelong process.
I'm always going to be gettingbetter.
What are my strengths right now?
Well, I've been through thefire over the last few years.
I'm able to tell my storybecause I'm still here.
I think my personality haschanged somewhat.
I'm a little bit moredeliberate with setting
(25:19):
boundaries.
I don't expect people to justgo along with them.
I expect confrontation.
I'm prepared for it.
I know that.
I know what's right for me.
I can figure it out.
I know better than you do,because I'm the person who's
really rooting for me, and so itreally is up to me.
That part, the part that takescare of the part that is
definable as Emerson Dameron.
(25:40):
That's my responsibility, sothat needs to be job number one.
You will always come second tothat.
That's new for me.
I used to put people first.
I used to get women who at somelevel, would want to be put
first.
That's what they would tell thefeminist book club and that
might be what they believeconsciously, but in reality they
wanted to be dominated.
Some of them seemed to want tobe put in the hospital.
(26:02):
I couldn't deliver that.
In the long run I got pushedaround and stopped caring,
started thinking outside oftheir relationship because it
was too frustrating.
She wasn't submitting.
I didn't know how to make herdo that.
I didn't know she wanted me tomake her do that Frustrating
stuff.
My ideal relationship would looklike I mean, right now I don't
want one.
I don't want one.
(26:24):
I don't want a serious one.
I don't know if I'm going towant one at all.
I want someone who's not goingto send me back years of working
on myself, somebody whofacilitates my personal growth,
somebody who's rooting for me,believes in me.
Nasty, narrow in bed,compassionate, kind, artistic,
creative, imaginative, verbaladept with language A reader
would be nice, yeah, I thinkthat's probably required and
(26:44):
somebody who gets me a fan,somebody who digs what I do,
picks up what I'm laying down,picks up my gems, knows how to
find my good stuff and pushes meto lean into my edge to double
down on the things that areweird and uncomfortable, because
for me that's where the gloryis, it's where the action is.
Keeps me in the moment becausethe action is right here.
And knows I'm always going tohave this depression going on
(27:07):
that's something I have to workwith, work around that I'm
probably never going to get ridof and is willing to help me out
.
Knows she can expect some morein return Very transparent,
honest, deep.
Tells me things no one elseknows Previously unruly sexual
fantasies or really the ball,anything along those lines
Because then I know I am able tostep in, step up, stand out
(27:30):
when she needs me.
(27:56):
Regardless, we're creatures ofhabit.
It's just easier that way.
We have patterns of beliefSometimes it can be ingrained
self-sabotage or bad habits,self-destructive behaviors that
make us feel good in the momentand make us feel guilty, and
perhaps sick and full of starchor methamphetamines.
We want to change them, butthere's a resistance.
(28:19):
It's just not as easy as wewould think it would be to do
what we think that we want to do, and that's because we are not
intimate with ourunconsciousness.
We are not aware of the partsof ourselves, the characters
that live inside of us, who aretrying to accomplish various
(28:39):
things, most of them sproutingfrom the seed of a positive
intention.
We don't know those people.
We need to get on good termswith them and understand where
they're coming from andunderstand the positive
intention that our bad habitscome from, and if we do that, we
can change our bad habits.
We can change our good habitstoo, but we may as well start
(29:02):
with the bad habits.
The past is not real.
It's a story that we make up aswe go, and it changes as we go
along based on new information.
We reshuffle our own memoriesall the time to create what we
think is a coherent narrativethat explains where we are now.
But where we are now is alwayschanging, so that story has to
(29:22):
change.
And even when we were there ifwe were there we only take in
about 3% of what's going on.
We filter our experiencethrough what we want to believe,
the aforementioned habits.
Reality is a controlledhallucination, and our memories
of it are even worse.
That's why a bunch of relativescan't agree on what happened
(29:44):
that day at the weddingreception on the golf course,
whether there was a threesomethat Susan is too drunk to
remember, or if Bob was the onewho got drunk and broke
somebody's windshield with aputter.
Everyone has their owninterpretation.
It's like Rashomon we're allwrong, and one important
objective in life is to be wrongin new and more interesting
(30:07):
ways, and that involves lettinggo of the past and letting go of
the suggestion to let go of thepast, because I gave you that
suggestion in the past.
So you don't have to do it ifyou don't want to.
You don't have to listen to meor trust me.
I don't trust you.
Do it for yourself, if that'syour thing.
If you want to break your badhabits, first identify the
(30:29):
pattern you want to change.
It could be drinking too much,watching too much pornography.
It could be walking around withthe tag hanging out of the back
of your t-shirt and youreyebrows all bushy and askew.
It could be not paying yourtaxes or recurring standoffs
with the ATF.
Whatever your bad habit, isthat you want to change.
(30:51):
Understand the pattern ofbehavior and understand how it
is distinct from the intentionof the behavior.
Perhaps you drink too muchbecause you want courage and
confidence and conviviality.
You want to have fun with otherpeople.
Maybe you think that alcohol isthe main route to that.
Or there's a part of you insidethat believes that it could be
(31:14):
a wannabe tough person in aleather jacket and sunglasses
who is, in fact,overcompensating for weakness.
It could be someone who reallydoes think that booze is the
only way to have fun.
Maybe it's very sweet, albeitconformist and simple-minded.
Anyway, step two is to connectand communicate with the part of
(31:36):
yourself that is responsiblefor this behavior, that is
trying to get from here to therevia means that are not working
for you because they're stupidand ill-advised.
No matter how contemptible orridiculous that part of you may
be, you have to get on goodterms with it.
You have to speak with it inits language.
(31:57):
It's not going to meet youhalfway.
It's very selfish andunderdeveloped because you
haven't spent a lot of time withit.
I blame you.
This is your fault.
You've got to fix it.
You've got to get in there andshow that part of yourself some
love as you separate the patternof behavior from the intention.
Honor the positive intentionthat this part of yourself has.
Find other roads up thatmountain.
(32:19):
Get creative, come up with newideas or new behaviors.
Brainstorm 100 ideas.
Come up with the worst ideasthat you can think of.
Some of them will besurprisingly good.
No one is smart enough to bewrong 100% of the time, as the
philosopher Ken Wilber said, andsometimes the best work comes
(32:40):
from attempts at makingsomething awful or just allowing
yourself to make somethingawful.
Lean into your mistakes, yes,and Anything that happens.
Build on your own terribleideas, because it's not a bad
idea if you commit to it.
And then go back to theresponsible voice inside of you,
where all of this started.
(33:01):
Let it evaluate the optionsthat you give it.
Give it a number of options,not too many, not enough to
confuse it.
It's easily confused.
This isn't subway, shouldn'thave to make choices about
everything.
Give it a menu of options.
See what it likes.
It's.
Nothing is resonating.
Go back into the brainstormingroom.
(33:21):
Go back into the brainstormingroom.
Go back into the laboratory orthe float lab with the sensory
deprivation floatation tanks orthe drug house or wherever it is
that you do your bestbrainstorming, come up with some
more ideas.
Check the weather, see howthings are going.
Understand your emotionalweather patterns.
That will take many years andan advanced degree.
(33:44):
It is worth it.
When you're done, you will beold, but you will be able to
break your bad habits easily.
You might be too tired from allthat education.
Your brain could be full.
You could be top heavy.
It could be so heavy that it'sscrewing up your posture.
You might just not want to doanything anymore.
You might not want to drink orjerk off to porn or go to
(34:05):
weddings.
You may no longer experienceroad rage and you've discovered
one way to solve the problem.
One of many.
Make sure that as you do this,you fully indulge in sensory
experience.
Tell yourself your stories thatyou want to believe that are
practical.
That will get you where youwant to go.
Communicate these things inpictures sounds, feelings,
(34:29):
smells, tastes, whatever thethird eye does intuition.
Make it vivid.
Make it a blockbuster.
Make it an epic.
Make it unusually artisticpornography, vr porn, perhaps.
Make it immersive theater.
Make it Catholic Mass.
Make it unusually artistic.
Pornography, vr porn, perhaps.
Make it immersive theater.
Make it Catholic Mass.
Make it Las Vegas.
Do it to it.
(34:50):
You can break your bad habitsand change your patterns of
behavior, depending on how muchtime you have, your tolerance
for complexity and how you feelabout the color cerulean.
It makes sense.
Once you get into this, theonly way to learn this is to do
it.
Until you do it, it makesabsolutely no sense.
(35:10):
I'm out, thank you.
(35:54):
Manhood in its rawest, mostauthentic form is a force for
beastly sovereignty of the soul.
So get your podcast on theBonebox Network.
Being a real man meansmastering your craft, whether
it's harpooning whales, buildingtrebuchets with your hands or
letting the levels go into thered.
But not stay there.
Society loves weakness.
It wants to shame you intosilence.
(36:16):
It's given up on personalresponsibility, and that's not
your fault.
So get on the mic and ravagethis world with unapologetic
masculinity.
When you're wrong, dare todouble down.
If they push back, let themknow.
You're just a comedian and ameathead, so jacked up on
adrenaline and sleep deprivationyou have no idea what words are
spewing out of your mouth.
For a minute it sounded likePortuguese, a language you
(36:37):
neither speak nor understand.
Now it's a mix of barbaric yopsand cocky, virile echolalia,
and you wish you could go home.
But you've forgotten how toshut down the live stream on the
Bonebox Network.
A brutal brotherhood of realmen.
I don't want to be that guy.
I don't want to be my dad.
You hear a lot of men say Idon't want to be that guy.
(37:22):
I don't want to be my dad.
I don't want to be my drillsergeant.
I don't want to be my phys edteacher or my football coach,
because I'm terrified of my ownpower.
I'm terrified of excellence.
I have a sense that I have aresponsibility to people around
me to stand up and step up andtake control and take agency and
be part of the solution andforge my path as a fearless man.
(37:45):
Will I embrace the darknesswithin, emerge stronger,
challenge the status quo,redefine masculinity, embody the
essence of true manhood, breakfree from the limitations of
societal norms and feel the heatin the fire and smell the smoke
.
See the illuminating light ofthe fire that burns within the
(38:05):
power of raw masculinity.
I'm terrified of all thosethings.
I don't want to be that guy.
I've seen other guys screw it upand I certainly can't rise to
that level.
So it would be even worse if Iwas in charge.
So I'm just gonna cower backhere and pretend that I don't
have genitals, try to stay outof the way and make myself small
(38:26):
and insignificant so I don'thave to take responsibility for
anything.
You know what?
I am that guy.
I'm proud of it and I'm herenot to lay down the law, because
I believe in freedom.
If I'm going to fight foranything, it's going to be
everyone's freedom to screw upas they see fit, live down to
everyone's worst expectations ifthat's what feels appropriate
(38:49):
to them and that's where theyare on their journey.
Because I'm on my journey, youbest back off and mind your own
business and let me handle mybusiness, because my business is
important.
It's too serious to takeseriously all the time I also
see men afraid to have fun,afraid to laugh at themselves,
(39:10):
afraid to laugh at others,afraid to enjoy a joke, up to
and including the cosmic jokethat is this life on.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
Earth.
I am that guy.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
If you got a problem with it, you can bring it right
here to my face.
What I would ask you to doinstead is relax.
Don't take things so seriously.
Do you see how pathetic you are?
What a joke this is.
I think it's hilarious.
You might too if it wassomebody else doing it.
Right now, you're making a foolof yourself.
There's a lesson in that.
You can think what can I learnfrom this?
(39:41):
More importantly, what's funnyabout this?
I'm making a fool of myselfright now.
How can I relax and just nottake things so seriously?
Things are not that serious.
Life is ridiculous.
You're alive for a while andhopefully you have as much fun
as you can and get some thingsdone.
Stand up for people who need it.
(40:03):
Stand up for things you believein.
Stand up for freedom.
Stand up for yourself.
Be willing to smack peoplearound if that's for the greater
good.
Or they need it or they like it, or they need it and they don't
realize they like it, but deepdown they do because they
realize it's appropriate.
Ultimately, it's ridiculous.
You die at the end.
(40:23):
It's like slapstick.
You're there one minute andthen you're dead on the ground,
or maybe you're in a hospital,losing your mind over the course
of months or years and turninginto a ridiculous airhead
character.
That's kind of hilarious too.
Look at it as though it'shappening to somebody else,
because you have to get out ofyour own head and don't identify
(40:44):
with yourself so much.
The time you spend thinkingabout yourself is the time
you're not doing anything.
I represent the masculinevirtues stoicism, standing
strong, not getting tossedaround.
I represent courage, honor,fierce defiance in the face of
people who go against me orthreaten those I love.
(41:04):
I realize my capacity forviolence.
It's the only thing that givesmeaning to my survival instinct.
It's the only thing that makesme a trustworthy ally, reliable
in a combat scenario.
Of course, I'm only human.
I screw up from time to time.
The modern world, for me, is anevolutionary mismatch.
A lot of the things that I wantto do to give me pleasure.
(41:25):
They're part of expressing whoI am deep down, on a primal
level or frowned upon.
I'm not gonna lie down If youcome at me and you're gonna try
to take away my freedom.
I'm not gonna play by yourrules.
I didn't do the things you'reaccusing me of.
It's not like that.
You don't know what you'retalking about.
You need to shut up.
This is psychological projection.
(41:47):
This is all in your head.
It's about you.
It's about honor, decency andfreedom, all of which require
you to stay out of my business.
This is a personal matterbetween me myself and I, and it
does not concern you.
So let's talk about you.
What do you actually believe in?
What are you doing when you'renot coming after me and
(42:07):
criticizing me and trying tohurt me?
Hurt my reputation, which Iguard with my f***ing life,
trying to take away my freedom,trying to make me look bad,
taking what I say out of context, misunderstanding what I do,
because you don't understand whoI am.
You don't understand I'm notsubject to your rules.
Your made up morality.
(42:28):
You have no idea what it's liketo be on my level.
You won't, because you'll neverget here.
Best you can do is stay out ofmy business, step back, peak
game, get some ideas.
Watch what I do.
Trying to throw me, off, firstof all, is not something you're
going to be able to do.
Second of all, it's not goingto lift you up.
(42:49):
It's not going to make you lookgood.
People feel sorry for you.
Pathetic.
Do what you're told when youthink you're supposed to, but
nobody even respects you orlikes you for doing that.
Nobody likes martyrs, nobodylikes white knights.
You're not a hero, you're justan apple-polishing closet
wannabe me.
You don't have the courage tosee me in you and that's the
(43:12):
only thing that could save you.
That's your hope for salvation.
Get on that.
If you don't have the courageto get on that, at least leave
me out of your stupid littlepsychodrome.
I want nothing to do with it.
You're a waste of my time.
Get out the power of mistrust,taking the gift of fear to the
(43:59):
next level.
Don't trust anyone.
Your bitterness will protectyou.
This is what you gotta do.
If you've been burned for awhile, you're just gonna have to
be an asshole for a while.
Don't trust anyone.
People are not trustworthy byand large until you get to know
them, and then sometimes thatmakes it worse.
(44:20):
I would know I am a reformedpeople pleaser.
For much of the first part of mylife I was scared of my mom's
anger, which I would try toplacate by being charming and
conciliatory and sometimes justgroveling like my life depended
on.
It Kind of felt like it did.
I carried over into my adultrelationships.
(44:41):
I always wanted to be liked.
My identity felt like it wasforever in flux.
I felt like I was just missingout on the experience of being
me, because I desperately wantedto be liked.
I was betrayed, hurt, screwedover, divorced.
I got mad.
I found that anger was awonderful place to create comedy
from it can be a lot of fun andthat this is what I'm going to
(45:02):
be doing for a while.
Sometimes I would just bepissed off as long as I was
alone, and then, as soon as thenext person came along, I would
put all that away.
Not this time.
This is me.
I'm living the life.
The challenge is that in orderto hang on to your mistrust and
be protected by your bitterness,you have to navigate certain
(45:23):
societal pressures.
There are certain things thatare denied to people who are
outwardly skeptical of theirfellow people.
It can be harder to get laid.
It's definitely harder to makefriends.
It's hell on your career.
They don't want you to be goodat your job, they want you to be
good at office politics and aseveryone is being summoned back
(45:44):
to the office, that's going tobe happening.
It's going to be harder andharder to lead with mistrust and
more and more important andthat's the plan.
Meditate on this you have nofriends.
You can't trust anyone.
Everyone is garbage thatincludes you, but you're working
on this.
You have no friends.
You can't trust anyone.
Everyone is garbage thatincludes you, but you're working
on it Right now, thoughnothing's going to change
overnight, so you've got toprotect your heart and cover
(46:07):
your ass and trust nobody.
Anti-trust them.
Go into the negative degreesKelvin scale People are awful,
seriously.
If you only knew what theythink about you, what they say
about you behind your back.
Lean into your worstcharacteristics.
That will protect you.
One thing that helped me wasneediness and vulnerability.
(46:27):
Be careful with that.
You can get hurt, even ifyou're doing it on purpose.
Better to lead with a certainedge, with some cruelty.
Really be yourself.
Until you get good at beingyourself and it's a matter of
habit You'll get haters.
You will experience a fierybaptism and break free from the
constraints of societal crap.
(46:48):
You will be doing what you want, how you want to do it, which
is the life story of anysuccessful person.
It doesn't matter whattrappings of success you have.
If that doesn't describe you,then you're not really
successful, and once you becomesuccessful, you'll find that
whatever kind of success youhave comes with groupies,
collaborators that you work withand you'll want to start
(47:09):
relationships and friendships.
Proceed with caution.
Don't start conforming againbefore you really get
enlightened, because if you do,if you level up one more time,
you will be loved, envied,feared and free.
You will learn the lesson thatpeople tend to learn on their
deathbeds You'll know thatpeople are garbage.
So your mission is to be morethan a person, an ubermensch.
(47:32):
Be truly free, and that startswith the power of mistrust,
leading with your mistrust.
Let your bitterness protect you.
Be skeptical, radicallyagnostic.
Don't take any crap off ofanyone that's played out.
K-chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM,in Chinatown, downtown, the cusp
(47:53):
of Echo Park and the city ofLos Angeles, and perhaps deep
out in space many decades fromnow.
If you're listening in thatcontext, sup that slang that we
have now you can use it becauseit's timeless.
More specifically, you'relistening to Emerson Dameron's
Medicated Minutes, la's numberone avant-garde personal
development program,medicated-minutescom.
(48:16):
I'm Emerson Dameron, yourproducer, director, writer, host
and raison d'etre witty andwounded romantic hero.
On Emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes.
I love you personally.
Levity saves lives.
We broadcast from Los Angeles,california and the United States
of America, north America,western Hemisphere, planet Earth
(48:39):
and the solar system, which iscalled the solar system, because
we're very self-centeredHeliocentric, I guess, is more
accurate.
But it's not the solar system.
It's one of many.
You perhaps have a differentname for it.
That makes sense.
We haven't communicated.
It'll be interesting to seewhat we have in common.
How right is Noam Chomsky aboutthe language mechanism?
(49:02):
Perhaps we will find out In themeantime.
Los Angeles is my home.
It's my adopted hometown.
I've gone through the fullcycle of loving it and hating it
, and now it's just where I liveand, yes, it can be a lonely
and overwhelming place but,lonely as I am.
Together, we cry and, much likeme, los Angeles has been
(49:24):
unfairly maligned, misconstrued,misunderstood.
People don't get its jokes orappreciate its edge of the world
, weirdness and absurdity.
People start beefs from otherparts of the country.
There's a feud between LA andSan Francisco that's so cool and
subterranean that only SanFrancisco knows about it.
(49:47):
New York sees fit to castaspersions on Los Angeles.
I'm not sure where they findthe time being that New York is
the only place where anythingmatters.
You'd think they would havetheir hands full and yet they
have time for derision andmockery of Los Angeles, and
there is fair criticism to bemade of this town.
(50:09):
It is expensive.
That can drive you to new featsof tenacity and shamelessness
and it can be beneficial toexplore that part of yourself.
But yes, it's overpriced.
There's a housing crisis.
There are ways to solve it.
It's unlikely that everyone'sgoing to agree to disagree and
do the right thing anyway.
(50:29):
La is full of people.
The metro area has got 12million of them.
People can be terrible.
There are also crystals offractal stardust from beyond
good and evil, nearly infinitelycomplex.
Los Angeles is full of them, soit's like a universe unto
itself.
Yes, the traffic is bad, youcould take mass transit.
We have it.
(50:49):
15 years ago I never would havethought there'd be a train that
goes all the way to the beach,and now there is.
And if you do get stuck intraffic, that's an opportunity
to get to know yourself, to feelyour frustration, to get
insight into what makes youannoyed, what that says about
you.
It can be more uncomfortable,but then you can have a big
breakthrough.
(51:10):
You're at liberty to do that,because when you're driving it's
sort of free time, and, unlessyou're taking meetings on your
phone in your car like a chump,it is time to listen to the
classics on audiobooks, orlisten to Emerson Dameron's
Medicaid Admittance, or sitalone with your thoughts One of
the best ways to spend your timein a culture that largely
(51:31):
discourages it.
Speaking of which, although LosAngeles is the most culturally
diverse city on earth, we get alot of incoming flack from
people who think LA is ruled bysuperficiality.
Oh, everything's just soshallow.
Don't confuse superficialitywith extroversion and sex appeal
(51:52):
.
Yes, people here are famouslyhot.
Historically, we've been ableto go hiking during the winter,
when everyone else iscomplaining and skidding around
on the ice.
This year has been weird.
It was Seattle.
For six months we had snow onthe Hollywood sign.
It was hail.
In Venice, where I live, becausewe've entered an age of
discontinuity.
No one's ready for what'salready happened.
(52:12):
Things are gonna get weird andstay that way.
All bets are off.
Los Angeles is particularlywell-primed for that, for
reasons that we will get into.
The assumption that it's asuperficial place often comes
from judgment calls about theentertainment industry.
Oh, by the way, wherever youlive, your experience at that
place is the people that youchoose to hang out with.
(52:35):
And in Los Angeles, you have tobe very deliberate about
hanging out with anyone.
That's because it is balkanized, because of the car culture.
You have to really go out ofyour way to hang out with
particular people.
If somebody says we should hangout sometime, that means I will
never see you again.
The only way to make thingshappen is to be extremely
deliberate about it.
Tell people exactly what to do,which is what most people want
(52:58):
and what they're waiting for, sodon't keep them waiting.
Say I'm going to do this openmic Tuesday night 6.30 pm.
Come along if you like.
My life is a party.
I'm going to have a good timeregardless.
You're invited If you want toshow up and hang out.
That's cool.
If you're busy, I will ask youlater on.
And I'll keep asking at risk ofbecoming a pest, because the
(53:19):
only way to hang out with peopleis very much on purpose.
Just put out those invitationsagain and again, and again.
And if your experience of LosAngeles is that everyone is
shallow, you're the commondenominator there.
And if you find yourselfhanging out with shallow people,
just say don't you, just hateall those shallow people and
they'll be like oh god, I know,and you'll bond and possibly
(53:42):
hook up and you can have hatesex with them.
If you've never known the joysof hate sex, you've not truly
lived, available in abundance.
In Los Angeles.
There's the assumption that theculture is driven by Hollywood
and the entertainment business.
That vapidness drives theculture of the city, which in
fact has a fascinating art scene, street-level activism, to beat
(54:05):
the band, the murals, streetart like nowhere else in the
world.
It's a job.
A lot of it is churning outcrap to make money for rich
assholes.
What do you do for a living?
Soon enough, you won't have todo anything.
I am for full unemployment.
Work is for suckers and we maybe on the road to getting rid of
it, and that will partly bebecause of people in the
(54:27):
entertainment industry.
We are now ground zero for thelabor movement, which was
sitting in the closet with themothballs and spiders in their
webs ever since reagan waspresident, and now people are
waking up.
If having margot robbie on yourside is a way to wake people up
, entertainers and athletes havea lot of pull.
(54:48):
L ron hubbard was right aboutthat.
Go for it.
Let's make this happen.
It's time for cutting heads.
It's happening here.
The writers, writers strike,the actors strike.
Big news got everyone havingsome uncomfortable conversations
about what we value, how we'regetting bled dry, how no one
should ever work again, andperhaps you can have a ludic
revolution.
(55:08):
Regardless, la is the mostculturally diverse city in the
world.
It's full of art, music,theater.
There's no excuse to be bored.
Yes it can be lonely andmaddening, and if you break down
you'll fit right in.
You're never at risk of beingthe most interesting person in
Los Angeles or seeming bonkersor off your rocker compared to a
(55:31):
lot of the people that you meethere.
It's a city full of dreamers.
Having a dream requires athreshold of self-deception and
denial, and some people go waypast the requirement, the
required minimum for that.
There's also been thesuggestion that LA is
apocalyptic, that we've beenwaiting for the big one for a
long time and that we could bewashed into the Pacific Ocean at
(55:53):
any time, which sounds a bitlike wish casting from those
covetous of grapes that theywould like to believe are sour.
In which case, thanks a lot forwishing us all dead.
That's very thoughtful.
That's how you do it.
Back east, I prefer to think ofit not as apocalyptic so much as
(56:14):
having a lively and activerelationship with the noble
truth of impermanence.
Nothing lasts forever.
Most things don't come anywhereclose to that.
La is the place to experienceimpermanence up close and
personal.
Much as it's full of delightfulabsurdities and
edge-of-the-world weirdness andkooky characters, things are
(56:36):
very conspicuously impermanentin Los Angeles.
We're good at erasing ourhistory.
The future is conspicuouslyuncertain.
All bets have been off reallysince the beginning, because
they built a city in the middleof the desert.
By the way, if you don't thinkthat there's any nature here, oh
, the river is paved.
Oh, all I did was sit on afreeway and hang out with
(56:57):
shallow people.
Guess what We've got parks,deserts, mountains, beaches
almost all the nature that youcould possibly want.
I was on the board for anon-profit entity called
Wildwoods and what we did wastake kids from Pico Union, which
is an area that is starved forgreenery.
(57:18):
Somebody made a shade map ofLos Angeles with all the shade
covering and you'd be shocked toknow it winds up almost exactly
with the income distribution.
That's also an obscene thingabout LA.
It's Rio de Janeiro-esque inclass stratification.
Like I said, it's very far fromperfect.
I might GTFO at any time.
(57:38):
There are a lot of other placesI could live.
For a while I thought I couldonly live here.
I'm starting to realize that'snot the case.
I've lived in an amusement parkfor the last three years.
My soul is exhausted.
But guess what?
Criticism is good if it'swell-informed and constructive,
because we need to build somenew housing here, if you can do
anything constructive vis-a-visLos Angeles?
(57:59):
Please do.
There's a lot of nature.
We're down one big cat,everything is on fire.
A lot of the time we don't takegreat care of the nature
because there's again that lackof grounding in a time continuum
.
It's just now, now, now, now,now all the time, and a lot of
the absurdity and richness ofthe place is related to that and
(58:23):
could not exist without it.
Los Angeles is complicated.
My relationship with LosAngeles is complicated, but if
you don't know what you'retalking about, stay out of it.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes K-Chung Los
Angeles.
Kchungradioorg on the WorldWide Web.
Speaker 4 (59:42):
K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchungradioorg EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes LA
number one event guard personaldevelopment program.
Medicated-minutescom.
Levity saves lives.
Bye, outro Music.
Sunrise Serenade Smooth, bold and just a little
dangerous Just how I like mybeach days.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
My darling, you're as dangerous as a crinkle-cut
french fry.
I am delicious.
That exquisitely twisted adultbeverage has gone to your head
and I'm trying to give you aheart attack.
Put that skateboard away beforeyou hurt yourself.
It's my job.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Sunrise Serenade it's the only thing hotter than me
you got nothing to worry aboutexcept the heat death of your
ego.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Miss Diva in her own mind.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Here's to Sunrise Serenade, the drink that makes
every moment unique, sexy,unforgettable, like me,
Unforgettable is a backhandedcompliment.
Oh, maybe I could use somediscipline.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Sunrise Serenade.
Can you keep a secret?
Sunrise Serenade is my urine,my piss.
I bottle my piss and I sell it.
I've always been 100% upfrontabout that, because I'm not the
one with the problem.
Want some.
Sunrise Serenade.
Hey, hey you Friend Pal of mine, ace, it's okay, you're just
freaking out, relax.
(01:00):
There's one way out of this,through this, around this,
whatever you want to call it,and that's to slow down.
Just breathe all the way downinto your belly, zoom out as
much as you can.
Look at this from the perch ofyour highest intelligence.
(01:21):
It's just a thing.
You're just getting thereaction that's supposed to help
you deal with stress, becausethis is what was developed to
deal with large predators.
We don't have large predatorsanymore, we just have these
complex, stressful situations.
We get overwhelmed with thechemicals kick in that freak us
out and make us think that we'regonna die and make us think
that we're not able to do this.
(01:41):
We're not up to the challenge.
We're not everything that wewant to think we are.
We got to get out of that.
You will not solve the problemin the problem space.
You got to back up.
You got to bring you know, letthe mind percolate, go, do
something else.
You will not come up with asolution if you can't stop
thinking about the problem.
Your brain, thinking directlyabout the problem is not going
(02:04):
to come up with anythingcreative, not anything that's
going to get you out of this.
It's going to get you deeperinto this because that's what it
thinks helps.
Just calm down, relax as muchas you possibly can.
I'm Kate Chung K-Chung, losAngeles, 1630.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
AM K-Chung radioorg Emerson Dameron's Medicated
Minutes L-A, number one eventguard, personal development
(03:02):
program, home of the firstchurch of the Satanic Buddha,
and Bite-sized erotic thrillers.
Improve yourself beforeeverybody else does.
That's kinky Levity saves lives.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchungradioorg.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes
medicated-minutescom.
I am Emerson Dameron, theproducer, writer, director, host
and witty, wounded romantichero of Emerson Dameron's
Medicated Minutes.
Scratch a witty cynic andyou'll get a wounded romantic.
That is very true of me.
And levity saves lives.
(03:53):
Sometimes I do get stuck on thepast.
I try to ask myself what'sfunny about this.
How can levity save my liferetroactively and what can I
learn from this?
Levity save my liferetroactively and what can I
learn from this?
How can I improve in the futureas a result of these
experiences and my insights as Iintegrate them, because I do
(04:13):
like to take responsibility foras much of my life as I can.
I don't think that everythingis my fault, but it's an
interesting thought experimentsometimes.
What if I am responsible foreverything?
What if I am the architect andauteur of my own experience?
How do I handle thatresponsibility?
To what extent is that true IfI behave as if it's true?
(04:34):
What happens?
You may be listening to thislive on K-Chung.
That happens every firstWednesday of the month at 7
o'clock Pacific.
We convene to talk sex, drugs,power, psychology, philosophy,
self-help, satanic Buddhism andmuch more.
Sometimes we do a featurecalled Ask a Sadist.
(04:56):
You're always in good shapewith a sadist on your side and
we have miniature eroticthrillers.
Short, those are bite-sizederotic thrillers.
They're all well under the90-minute mark.
The stylish and titillating andoften ridiculous erotic
thrillers from the 80s and 90sthat were covered on you Must
(05:19):
Remember this and have beenhaving a bit of a renaissance
lately.
The work of Brian De Palma andAdrian Lyne, crimes of Passion,
nine and a half weeks, cinematicMasterpieces those are my
inspiration.
You can catch those on the show, but it's really about you, the
most interesting topic in theworld, and you may be listening
live.
You may be listeningasynchronously via the podcast
(05:42):
through medicated-minutescom orwherever you consume your
podcasts.
We're on Spotify and AppleMusic, podchaser, pocket Casts,
podfriend, all the good ones.
There are a few episodes onSoundCloud, but the point is
this might be light from a deadstar, this might be a broadcast
from the past, but you are inthe present, even if you don't
(06:04):
want to be, even if you insiston living in the past or the
future.
The present is the only placewhere anything worthwhile is
happening and it behooves you tobring yourself back to the
present.
There are some advantages ofthinking into the future If
you're thinking strategicallyand cautiously not necessarily
(06:25):
optimistic.
Enthusiasm is good andenthusiasm combined with
pessimism is a killercombination.
If you enthusiastically walk inknowing the worst that could
happen and being prepared for itand going over every detail and
listening to any weird feelingthat you have that something
(06:45):
might be off, and doublechecking your work, you're in
good shape.
So you don't necessarily haveto be optimistic.
Be realistic, know what you'regetting into, but don't focus
too much on the future becauseit's not promised.
There's all kinds of risk in LosAngeles.
There are so many glorious waysto die.
It could happen at any time.
The big one could hit us.
There's all kinds of risk inLos Angeles.
There are so many glorious waysto die.
(07:06):
It could happen at any time.
The big one could hit us.
We could all go down.
There could be a tsunami, tidalwave, all kinds of things could
happen.
Be prepared for the future,because it's a good chance that
we're all going to live a littlebit longer, probably at least
to the end of the show.
But the present is where theaction is and you want to repeat
(07:27):
to yourself the past is dead,the past is dead, the past is
dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
The past is dead.
As many times as it takes, asmany times as it takes to short
circuit your negative talk toyourself about what happened in
the past, how you screwed it up,how you feel guilty, let it go,
(07:48):
it's over and done with.
You've probably alreadyapologized.
If you've apologized a lot, youneed to apologize for that,
because really you just need toapologize once.
People are either going toforgive you or they're not.
If it's a meaningful andsincere apology, that'll
probably get through to them atsome level.
If they don't want to hear fromyou, leave them alone,
regardless.
Get on with your life.
(08:08):
Getting stuck in the past willmake you miss out on the
opportunities and indeed thechallenges and hazards of the
present.
It's easy to get stuck in thepast when something painful
happened in the relativelyrecent past, which could be 28
years ago, depending on howpainful it was.
But it's usually something like, in my experience, a breakup
(08:30):
that happened within the lastyear or so.
That brings me down.
It's put me in dark anddangerous places.
Apparently, it kind of helpedkill Anthony Bourdain.
It can be a not good, not safespace to be in and one can get
addicted to certain kinds ofsuffering, mental anguish.
I have a looping internalmonologue that can be downright
(08:52):
abusive.
If anyone else talked to me theway that I sometimes talk to
myself, I would get arestraining order and a large
dog and a ring system.
But it's just me and I tellmyself that I'm not doing any
harm if I take my anger out onmyself.
That's not true.
I'm hurting everyone in my lifeby proxy.
I'm hurting myself.
I'm missing out on good things,interesting things, challenging
(09:14):
things, things that need myattention, that are going on
here and now.
If you have the same issue withgetting wrapped around the axle
of stuff that's happened, I'msure breakups are hard for
everybody.
I went through a divorcerecently.
I still have open wounds fromthat.
I totally get it.
You have to mourn those lossesand that comes with grief and
(09:34):
regret and anger.
But it is possible to getaddicted to that.
It can be easier to stay inwhat's safe and familiar note
the similarity to the wordfamily there than it is, or
seems to be, to get out of thatand do something dangerous.
But that provides theopportunity for a new experience
.
I would switch addictions.
(09:55):
I would say if you're addictedto suffering and misery and
self-recrimination and guiltover a breakup, try sex
addiction Just for a while.
It's probably not going tosolve your problems.
You may be unhappy.
A lot of people are sex addictsand they don't seem to enjoy it
that much.
Find out for yourself.
Don't take their word for it.
(10:16):
Give it a shot.
It'll be very different on theother side of the spectrum from
your current experience.
You can do it.
Many dumber and uglier peoplehave pulled it off.
All you have to do is get outthere and be proactive and
prepare and then put yourself inthe way of opportunity and get
in the mix and know that it's anhonor and a pleasure for anyone
(10:38):
to spend time with you as alistener of Emerson Dameron's
Medicated Minutes.
You are one of the elite and youare always self-developing.
This is LA's number oneavant-garde self-development
program.
So that means even if you don'tget the jokes, it makes you
sophisticated to listen to it.
You're always betteringyourself and exploring the most
(11:00):
fascinating topic in the world,which is you, and it is helping
you through inspiration andmotivation of the sort that has
helped countless listeners inLos Angeles and beyond.
I don't know how many, hencecountless.
It's a lot.
You are partaking of that andwhat I want you to do is
condition yourself on a dailybasis.
(11:21):
Give this an hour a day for 90days.
Condition yourself throughmantras, meditation, exercise,
hit a bag, get a punching bag inyour place, whatever it is that
gets the lightning boltscoursing through your nervous
system.
Do that and condition yourselfto be extremely aggressive in
going after what you want inlife.
(11:41):
You need to get to knowyourself to determine what you
really want.
Do that first.
Make a list of things that youwant in life.
If you need to get to knowyourself to determine what you
really want, do that first.
Make a list of things that youwant, and then things that you
wish that you didn't want andthings that you don't want
people to know that you wantThings that you wouldn't want me
to know that you want.
Make a list of those and startto figure out what you want, not
what you're supposed to want,not what other people want you
(12:01):
to want, what you really want,what your body says.
Yes, to Bring yourself into thepresent.
You can start making a plan toget what you want, but you gotta
be here to do that.
Perfect attendance in thepresent is the goal.
Guilt is a waste of time.
No complaining unless it'sentertaining.
See how close you can get thatto zero If you put the rubber
band around your wrist and snapit every time you hear yourself
(12:22):
complaining.
That's a good idea.
You can't change what alreadyhappened.
Replaying past mistakes overand over again will take you
into dark, dark territory.
Your brain thinks that it'ssolving problems.
That's what it thinks it'sdoing when it's ruminating,
because it's very stupid and itneeds some guidance from your
higher intelligence so that youdon't end up getting addicted to
(12:45):
mental anguish and getting sofamiliar with that that it's
what you know and it's scary toleave.
Before that happens, startmaking a deal with your brain to
come back here now and startgetting what you want.
Get serious about that andirreverent about it.
Make it fun.
Don't take it too soon.
Take it seriously and don'ttake it seriously.
Be all in balls to the wall,all out and all in
(13:09):
simultaneously.
See if you can pull that off.
That'll show them.
Get in there, get out there andbring yourself back here now to
the present, because it's theonly place where anything
worthwhile is happening.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes.
This is worthwhile and this ishappening right now.
Stay tuned, there's good stuffin the future.
There's good stuff in the past.
(13:30):
You would listen to the oldepisodes at medicated-minutescom
, but right now we've got biggerthings to do in the present.
We're going to catch the bigfish.
I don't know if we're going tofry it, we might just hang out
and see what it has to say.
If you are underwater and you'rebreathing easily underwater
without a diving suit, you'reprobably having a dream.
(13:52):
So if you see a big fish inthat context, do what you do if
you realize that you're dreaming, but you're still in the dream,
which is to ask the dreamcharacters if they have gifts
for you, if you can remember todo that Rare and beautiful, if
you have that opportunity, thatflash of lucidity to be able to
do that, if you see the big fishand you're deep on the ocean
(14:13):
floor, you're probably dreaming.
So ask the big fish what giftsit has for you, what wisdom it
has to impart, and then payattention, listen, sleep on it,
continue.
You're sleep on it, continue.
You're already sleeping on it.
Wake up on it.
Think about it the next morning, write it down.
If you don't write it downright away, you're probably
going to lose it.
Dream recall is very important.
(14:35):
I have always believed thatmeditation is not just an acute
affectation for people who livein Santa Monica and do yoga.
I think it's absolutelynecessary for dealing with the
avalanche of information we haveto deal with in the modern age.
I think it's the one way tokeep from losing your mind.
But I think dream recall ishuge in terms of figuring out
(14:58):
your own bigger story themeaning I have to make meaning
in my life I don't have kids.
The meaning I have to makemeaning in my life I don't have
kids, so I don't have that tofall back on.
And you can also make meaningin your life and have kids.
You're going to have long daysand be very tired, but you can
do it.
I've seen it done.
If you want to do that, join meand pay attention to your dreams
(15:19):
as you're having them in thepresent, and then write them
down and see how that pans outover the course of the next day.
Also, when you think about thedream, make a plan of action.
Think about how am I going toapply this to my life?
And think about that with allthe knowledge you pick up.
You don't need to read the news.
If it's not news, you can use.
It's important to kind of have abigger idea of what's going on
(15:41):
in the world and put things incontext, and it can be cocktail
party conversation, but you knowwhat's really good cocktail
party conversation Lettingpeople know that you're kicking
ass in the world and runninglaps around the competition.
And the way you do that is toapply the things that you learn.
That's what we're about onEmerson Dameron's Medicated
Minutes.
We're going to give you thetools of self-inquiry,
(16:01):
exploration and experiments.
We're going to give you thetools of self-inquiry,
exploration and experiments.
So the world will be yourlaboratory and you can try it
and see what happens.
If I had kids, that's theadvice I would give them.
I'm not going to have them, soI'm giving it to you.
We'll see you next time.
Bye, thank you, I'll see younext time.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Oh, darling, let me tell you, los Angeles is a fever
dream, wrapped in a piece ofcauliflower flatbread sprinkled
with bee pollen and served witha side of unsolicited advice.
It's a place where every cornerhides a guru with a didgeridoo,
whispering the secrets of theuniverse while selling you an
(18:53):
overpriced jade egg for yourinner peace, or wherever you're
meant to put it.
Now picture this I'm wanderingthrough Venice Beach.
Now picture this I'm wanderingthrough Venice Beach Well, not
wandering, striding, withpurpose, of course, as one does.
And there he is, this beardedAdonis, draped in organic linen,
(19:14):
sitting cross-legged on aHimalayan salt block.
He beckons me with a fingerthat Michelangelo himself could
have sculpted and he says Getthis Baby.
Your aura is starving, starvingas if my aura's been nibbling
(19:36):
on pita crisps and inhalingkombucha fumes instead of a
hearty existential stew.
I was riveted.
Naturally, he tells me I needto realign my energetic
vibrations.
And the way he said it withsuch conviction, I almost felt
guilty for not knowing myvibrations were misaligned to
begin with.
So, naturally, I handed over asmall fortune for a handcrafted
(19:59):
chakra harmonizer.
Yes it's just a rock, but hecalled it cosmic quartz.
Doesn't that just sound divine?
But then, oh the twist.
As I clutch my cosmic quartzand gaze deep into my starving
aura, I'm struck by the mostmarvelous realization.
(20:19):
Isn't the whole charade A bitof a lark?
I mean really.
The salt block guru, the jadeeggs, the cosmic quartz, it's
all one big performance, aself-help pantomime, if you will
, where everyone is pretendingto be both the damsel in
distress and the dashing saviour.
Los Angeles, darling, isn't acity, it's an installation piece
(20:44):
about the commodification ofenlightenment.
And we're all extras, millingabout the set in our louloulou
costumes, awaiting directionGenius, no.
At this point I think, helena,you're onto something.
Could the very act of seekingself-improvement be the most
(21:04):
gloriously self-defeating thingof all?
Like trying to mop up a puddlewith a sponge that's already
sopping wet.
So naturally, I decide tobecome a commentator on this
whole absurdity, a meta-guru, ifyou will, the guru who knows
she's a guru, which makes herbetter than the other gurus.
(21:25):
Or maybe worse or perhaps just abit more self-aware, which is
really the same thing in the end.
But here's the kicker love.
As I sit there cradling mycosmic quartz, waxing poetic on
the futility of seeking meaning,I realize I've come full circle
, because isn't pointing out theabsurdity of it all just
another way of saying look at me, I've figured it out.
(21:47):
And isn't that the most LosAngeles thing of all?
A hall of mirrors where everyreflection thinks it's the
original?
At any rate, I left my cosmicquartz on the salt block and
walked away, head held high,vibrating with a sort of smug
nihilism.
But of course I still booked asoundbar for later, because one
(22:07):
must keep one's options open,right, right.
Was it deliciously ironic?
Perhaps Was it simply delicious, absolutely.
Did I learn any lessons?
Did I experience an epiphany ora personal growth spurt, or
even a nice surreptitious orgasm?
Was any of this quote unquotereal in the traditional sense?
(22:30):
Honestly, I can't tell anymore.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Historically, I have a definite, measurable pattern
of attracting romantic partnersGerman-engineered to make me
miserable.
They don't do that.
Only I can make me miserable,but I find partners that can
help facilitate that, becausethey are specifically selected
by me subconsciously, by virtueof their ability to hit me where
(23:30):
it hurts, to perhaps talk meoff of the ledge, but also talk
me off of the pedestal, bring medown to earth, bring me way,
way down, where I have to digthrough the dirt to deal with
all of my worst qualities.
I have an image in my mind ofmy type, not a blonde with
freckles and really good at Imean someone who is my ideal
(23:53):
partner.
In that I feel like she's theyin to my yang, the masculine to
my feminine.
My completion meaning embodiesall of the elements that I deny
in myself Things that are partof me I wouldn't perceive them
if they weren't part of me butthings that I'm not comfortable
owning myself and that willprobably continue until I make
(24:15):
the unconscious conscious.
It will rule my life and I'llcall it fate.
So I end up with people who arevery willful, people who are
stubborn, won't do what I tellthem, and that's, of course, my
weird relationship with myself,not following through on things
I promised myself, reallytrusting myself, pattern of
(24:36):
self-sabotage all of thesethings certainly very much in
effect when it comes time to hitthe dating scene.
Certainly very much in effectwhen it comes time to hit the
dating scene.
What do I want?
My ideal relationship issomeone submissive but not
servile.
Someone who's powerful in theworld breaks down for me because
I give her a place to do that.
So I want to be a certain kindof person.
(24:56):
I could have that certain kindof partnership.
I should probably go aboutmaking myself that guy.
That's a lifelong process.
I'm always going to be gettingbetter.
What are my strengths right now?
Well, I've been through thefire over the last few years.
I'm able to tell my storybecause I'm still here.
I think my personality haschanged somewhat.
I'm a little bit moredeliberate with setting
(25:19):
boundaries.
I don't expect people to justgo along with them.
I expect confrontation.
I'm prepared for it.
I know that.
I know what's right for me.
I can figure it out.
I know better than you do,because I'm the person who's
really rooting for me, and so itreally is up to me.
That part, the part that takescare of the part that is
definable as Emerson Dameron.
(25:40):
That's my responsibility, sothat needs to be job number one.
You will always come second tothat.
That's new for me.
I used to put people first.
I used to get women who at somelevel, would want to be put
first.
That's what they would tell thefeminist book club and that
might be what they believeconsciously, but in reality they
wanted to be dominated.
Some of them seemed to want tobe put in the hospital.
(26:02):
I couldn't deliver that.
In the long run I got pushedaround and stopped caring,
started thinking outside oftheir relationship because it
was too frustrating.
She wasn't submitting.
I didn't know how to make herdo that.
I didn't know she wanted me tomake her do that Frustrating
stuff.
My ideal relationship would looklike I mean, right now I don't
want one.
I don't want one.
(26:24):
I don't want a serious one.
I don't know if I'm going towant one at all.
I want someone who's not goingto send me back years of working
on myself, somebody whofacilitates my personal growth,
somebody who's rooting for me,believes in me.
Nasty, narrow in bed,compassionate, kind, artistic,
creative, imaginative, verbaladept with language A reader
would be nice, yeah, I thinkthat's probably required and
(26:44):
somebody who gets me a fan,somebody who digs what I do,
picks up what I'm laying down,picks up my gems, knows how to
find my good stuff and pushes meto lean into my edge to double
down on the things that areweird and uncomfortable, because
for me that's where the gloryis, it's where the action is.
Keeps me in the moment becausethe action is right here.
And knows I'm always going tohave this depression going on
(27:07):
that's something I have to workwith, work around that I'm
probably never going to get ridof and is willing to help me out
.
Knows she can expect some morein return Very transparent,
honest, deep.
Tells me things no one elseknows Previously unruly sexual
fantasies or really the ball,anything along those lines
Because then I know I am able tostep in, step up, stand out
(27:30):
when she needs me.
(27:56):
Regardless, we're creatures ofhabit.
It's just easier that way.
We have patterns of beliefSometimes it can be ingrained
self-sabotage or bad habits,self-destructive behaviors that
make us feel good in the momentand make us feel guilty, and
perhaps sick and full of starchor methamphetamines.
We want to change them, butthere's a resistance.
(28:19):
It's just not as easy as wewould think it would be to do
what we think that we want to do, and that's because we are not
intimate with ourunconsciousness.
We are not aware of the partsof ourselves, the characters
that live inside of us, who aretrying to accomplish various
(28:39):
things, most of them sproutingfrom the seed of a positive
intention.
We don't know those people.
We need to get on good termswith them and understand where
they're coming from andunderstand the positive
intention that our bad habitscome from, and if we do that, we
can change our bad habits.
We can change our good habitstoo, but we may as well start
(29:02):
with the bad habits.
The past is not real.
It's a story that we make up aswe go, and it changes as we go
along based on new information.
We reshuffle our own memoriesall the time to create what we
think is a coherent narrativethat explains where we are now.
But where we are now is alwayschanging, so that story has to
(29:22):
change.
And even when we were there ifwe were there we only take in
about 3% of what's going on.
We filter our experiencethrough what we want to believe,
the aforementioned habits.
Reality is a controlledhallucination, and our memories
of it are even worse.
That's why a bunch of relativescan't agree on what happened
(29:44):
that day at the weddingreception on the golf course,
whether there was a threesomethat Susan is too drunk to
remember, or if Bob was the onewho got drunk and broke
somebody's windshield with aputter.
Everyone has their owninterpretation.
It's like Rashomon we're allwrong, and one important
objective in life is to be wrongin new and more interesting
(30:07):
ways, and that involves lettinggo of the past and letting go of
the suggestion to let go of thepast, because I gave you that
suggestion in the past.
So you don't have to do it ifyou don't want to.
You don't have to listen to meor trust me.
I don't trust you.
Do it for yourself, if that'syour thing.
If you want to break your badhabits, first identify the
(30:29):
pattern you want to change.
It could be drinking too much,watching too much pornography.
It could be walking around withthe tag hanging out of the back
of your t-shirt and youreyebrows all bushy and askew.
It could be not paying yourtaxes or recurring standoffs
with the ATF.
Whatever your bad habit, isthat you want to change.
(30:51):
Understand the pattern ofbehavior and understand how it
is distinct from the intentionof the behavior.
Perhaps you drink too muchbecause you want courage and
confidence and conviviality.
You want to have fun with otherpeople.
Maybe you think that alcohol isthe main route to that.
Or there's a part of you insidethat believes that it could be
(31:14):
a wannabe tough person in aleather jacket and sunglasses
who is, in fact,overcompensating for weakness.
It could be someone who reallydoes think that booze is the
only way to have fun.
Maybe it's very sweet, albeitconformist and simple-minded.
Anyway, step two is to connectand communicate with the part of
(31:36):
yourself that is responsiblefor this behavior, that is
trying to get from here to therevia means that are not working
for you because they're stupidand ill-advised.
No matter how contemptible orridiculous that part of you may
be, you have to get on goodterms with it.
You have to speak with it inits language.
(31:57):
It's not going to meet youhalfway.
It's very selfish andunderdeveloped because you
haven't spent a lot of time withit.
I blame you.
This is your fault.
You've got to fix it.
You've got to get in there andshow that part of yourself some
love as you separate the patternof behavior from the intention.
Honor the positive intentionthat this part of yourself has.
Find other roads up thatmountain.
(32:19):
Get creative, come up with newideas or new behaviors.
Brainstorm 100 ideas.
Come up with the worst ideasthat you can think of.
Some of them will besurprisingly good.
No one is smart enough to bewrong 100% of the time, as the
philosopher Ken Wilber said, andsometimes the best work comes
(32:40):
from attempts at makingsomething awful or just allowing
yourself to make somethingawful.
Lean into your mistakes, yes,and Anything that happens.
Build on your own terribleideas, because it's not a bad
idea if you commit to it.
And then go back to theresponsible voice inside of you,
where all of this started.
(33:01):
Let it evaluate the optionsthat you give it.
Give it a number of options,not too many, not enough to
confuse it.
It's easily confused.
This isn't subway, shouldn'thave to make choices about
everything.
Give it a menu of options.
See what it likes.
It's.
Nothing is resonating.
Go back into the brainstormingroom.
(33:21):
Go back into the brainstormingroom.
Go back into the laboratory orthe float lab with the sensory
deprivation floatation tanks orthe drug house or wherever it is
that you do your bestbrainstorming, come up with some
more ideas.
Check the weather, see howthings are going.
Understand your emotionalweather patterns.
That will take many years andan advanced degree.
(33:44):
It is worth it.
When you're done, you will beold, but you will be able to
break your bad habits easily.
You might be too tired from allthat education.
Your brain could be full.
You could be top heavy.
It could be so heavy that it'sscrewing up your posture.
You might just not want to doanything anymore.
You might not want to drink orjerk off to porn or go to
(34:05):
weddings.
You may no longer experienceroad rage and you've discovered
one way to solve the problem.
One of many.
Make sure that as you do this,you fully indulge in sensory
experience.
Tell yourself your stories thatyou want to believe that are
practical.
That will get you where youwant to go.
Communicate these things inpictures sounds, feelings,
(34:29):
smells, tastes, whatever thethird eye does intuition.
Make it vivid.
Make it a blockbuster.
Make it an epic.
Make it unusually artisticpornography, vr porn, perhaps.
Make it immersive theater.
Make it Catholic Mass.
Make it unusually artistic.
Pornography, vr porn, perhaps.
Make it immersive theater.
Make it Catholic Mass.
Make it Las Vegas.
Do it to it.
(34:50):
You can break your bad habitsand change your patterns of
behavior, depending on how muchtime you have, your tolerance
for complexity and how you feelabout the color cerulean.
It makes sense.
Once you get into this, theonly way to learn this is to do
it.
Until you do it, it makesabsolutely no sense.
(35:10):
I'm out, thank you.
(35:54):
Manhood in its rawest, mostauthentic form is a force for
beastly sovereignty of the soul.
So get your podcast on theBonebox Network.
Being a real man meansmastering your craft, whether
it's harpooning whales, buildingtrebuchets with your hands or
letting the levels go into thered.
But not stay there.
Society loves weakness.
It wants to shame you intosilence.
(36:16):
It's given up on personalresponsibility, and that's not
your fault.
So get on the mic and ravagethis world with unapologetic
masculinity.
When you're wrong, dare todouble down.
If they push back, let themknow.
You're just a comedian and ameathead, so jacked up on
adrenaline and sleep deprivationyou have no idea what words are
spewing out of your mouth.
For a minute it sounded likePortuguese, a language you
(36:37):
neither speak nor understand.
Now it's a mix of barbaric yopsand cocky, virile echolalia,
and you wish you could go home.
But you've forgotten how toshut down the live stream on the
Bonebox Network.
A brutal brotherhood of realmen.
I don't want to be that guy.
I don't want to be my dad.
You hear a lot of men say Idon't want to be that guy.
(37:22):
I don't want to be my dad.
I don't want to be my drillsergeant.
I don't want to be my phys edteacher or my football coach,
because I'm terrified of my ownpower.
I'm terrified of excellence.
I have a sense that I have aresponsibility to people around
me to stand up and step up andtake control and take agency and
be part of the solution andforge my path as a fearless man.
(37:45):
Will I embrace the darknesswithin, emerge stronger,
challenge the status quo,redefine masculinity, embody the
essence of true manhood, breakfree from the limitations of
societal norms and feel the heatin the fire and smell the smoke
.
See the illuminating light ofthe fire that burns within the
(38:05):
power of raw masculinity.
I'm terrified of all thosethings.
I don't want to be that guy.
I've seen other guys screw it upand I certainly can't rise to
that level.
So it would be even worse if Iwas in charge.
So I'm just gonna cower backhere and pretend that I don't
have genitals, try to stay outof the way and make myself small
(38:26):
and insignificant so I don'thave to take responsibility for
anything.
You know what?
I am that guy.
I'm proud of it and I'm herenot to lay down the law, because
I believe in freedom.
If I'm going to fight foranything, it's going to be
everyone's freedom to screw upas they see fit, live down to
everyone's worst expectations ifthat's what feels appropriate
(38:49):
to them and that's where theyare on their journey.
Because I'm on my journey, youbest back off and mind your own
business and let me handle mybusiness, because my business is
important.
It's too serious to takeseriously all the time I also
see men afraid to have fun,afraid to laugh at themselves,
(39:10):
afraid to laugh at others,afraid to enjoy a joke, up to
and including the cosmic jokethat is this life on.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
Earth.
I am that guy.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
If you got a problem with it, you can bring it right
here to my face.
What I would ask you to doinstead is relax.
Don't take things so seriously.
Do you see how pathetic you are?
What a joke this is.
I think it's hilarious.
You might too if it wassomebody else doing it.
Right now, you're making a foolof yourself.
There's a lesson in that.
You can think what can I learnfrom this?
(39:41):
More importantly, what's funnyabout this?
I'm making a fool of myselfright now.
How can I relax and just nottake things so seriously?
Things are not that serious.
Life is ridiculous.
You're alive for a while andhopefully you have as much fun
as you can and get some thingsdone.
Stand up for people who need it.
(40:03):
Stand up for things you believein.
Stand up for freedom.
Stand up for yourself.
Be willing to smack peoplearound if that's for the greater
good.
Or they need it or they like it, or they need it and they don't
realize they like it, but deepdown they do because they
realize it's appropriate.
Ultimately, it's ridiculous.
You die at the end.
(40:23):
It's like slapstick.
You're there one minute andthen you're dead on the ground,
or maybe you're in a hospital,losing your mind over the course
of months or years and turninginto a ridiculous airhead
character.
That's kind of hilarious too.
Look at it as though it'shappening to somebody else,
because you have to get out ofyour own head and don't identify
(40:44):
with yourself so much.
The time you spend thinkingabout yourself is the time
you're not doing anything.
I represent the masculinevirtues stoicism, standing
strong, not getting tossedaround.
I represent courage, honor,fierce defiance in the face of
people who go against me orthreaten those I love.
(41:04):
I realize my capacity forviolence.
It's the only thing that givesmeaning to my survival instinct.
It's the only thing that makesme a trustworthy ally, reliable
in a combat scenario.
Of course, I'm only human.
I screw up from time to time.
The modern world, for me, is anevolutionary mismatch.
A lot of the things that I wantto do to give me pleasure.
(41:25):
They're part of expressing whoI am deep down, on a primal
level or frowned upon.
I'm not gonna lie down If youcome at me and you're gonna try
to take away my freedom.
I'm not gonna play by yourrules.
I didn't do the things you'reaccusing me of.
It's not like that.
You don't know what you'retalking about.
You need to shut up.
This is psychological projection.
(41:47):
This is all in your head.
It's about you.
It's about honor, decency andfreedom, all of which require
you to stay out of my business.
This is a personal matterbetween me myself and I, and it
does not concern you.
So let's talk about you.
What do you actually believe in?
What are you doing when you'renot coming after me and
(42:07):
criticizing me and trying tohurt me?
Hurt my reputation, which Iguard with my f***ing life,
trying to take away my freedom,trying to make me look bad,
taking what I say out of context, misunderstanding what I do,
because you don't understand whoI am.
You don't understand I'm notsubject to your rules.
Your made up morality.
(42:28):
You have no idea what it's liketo be on my level.
You won't, because you'll neverget here.
Best you can do is stay out ofmy business, step back, peak
game, get some ideas.
Watch what I do.
Trying to throw me, off, firstof all, is not something you're
going to be able to do.
Second of all, it's not goingto lift you up.
(42:49):
It's not going to make you lookgood.
People feel sorry for you.
Pathetic.
Do what you're told when youthink you're supposed to, but
nobody even respects you orlikes you for doing that.
Nobody likes martyrs, nobodylikes white knights.
You're not a hero, you're justan apple-polishing closet
wannabe me.
You don't have the courage tosee me in you and that's the
(43:12):
only thing that could save you.
That's your hope for salvation.
Get on that.
If you don't have the courageto get on that, at least leave
me out of your stupid littlepsychodrome.
I want nothing to do with it.
You're a waste of my time.
Get out the power of mistrust,taking the gift of fear to the
(43:59):
next level.
Don't trust anyone.
Your bitterness will protectyou.
This is what you gotta do.
If you've been burned for awhile, you're just gonna have to
be an asshole for a while.
Don't trust anyone.
People are not trustworthy byand large until you get to know
them, and then sometimes thatmakes it worse.
(44:20):
I would know I am a reformedpeople pleaser.
For much of the first part of mylife I was scared of my mom's
anger, which I would try toplacate by being charming and
conciliatory and sometimes justgroveling like my life depended
on.
It Kind of felt like it did.
I carried over into my adultrelationships.
(44:41):
I always wanted to be liked.
My identity felt like it wasforever in flux.
I felt like I was just missingout on the experience of being
me, because I desperately wantedto be liked.
I was betrayed, hurt, screwedover, divorced.
I got mad.
I found that anger was awonderful place to create comedy
from it can be a lot of fun andthat this is what I'm going to
(45:02):
be doing for a while.
Sometimes I would just bepissed off as long as I was
alone, and then, as soon as thenext person came along, I would
put all that away.
Not this time.
This is me.
I'm living the life.
The challenge is that in orderto hang on to your mistrust and
be protected by your bitterness,you have to navigate certain
(45:23):
societal pressures.
There are certain things thatare denied to people who are
outwardly skeptical of theirfellow people.
It can be harder to get laid.
It's definitely harder to makefriends.
It's hell on your career.
They don't want you to be goodat your job, they want you to be
good at office politics and aseveryone is being summoned back
(45:44):
to the office, that's going tobe happening.
It's going to be harder andharder to lead with mistrust and
more and more important andthat's the plan.
Meditate on this you have nofriends.
You can't trust anyone.
Everyone is garbage thatincludes you, but you're working
on this.
You have no friends.
You can't trust anyone.
Everyone is garbage thatincludes you, but you're working
on it Right now, thoughnothing's going to change
overnight, so you've got toprotect your heart and cover
(46:07):
your ass and trust nobody.
Anti-trust them.
Go into the negative degreesKelvin scale People are awful,
seriously.
If you only knew what theythink about you, what they say
about you behind your back.
Lean into your worstcharacteristics.
That will protect you.
One thing that helped me wasneediness and vulnerability.
(46:27):
Be careful with that.
You can get hurt, even ifyou're doing it on purpose.
Better to lead with a certainedge, with some cruelty.
Really be yourself.
Until you get good at beingyourself and it's a matter of
habit You'll get haters.
You will experience a fierybaptism and break free from the
constraints of societal crap.
(46:48):
You will be doing what you want, how you want to do it, which
is the life story of anysuccessful person.
It doesn't matter whattrappings of success you have.
If that doesn't describe you,then you're not really
successful, and once you becomesuccessful, you'll find that
whatever kind of success youhave comes with groupies,
collaborators that you work withand you'll want to start
(47:09):
relationships and friendships.
Proceed with caution.
Don't start conforming againbefore you really get
enlightened, because if you do,if you level up one more time,
you will be loved, envied,feared and free.
You will learn the lesson thatpeople tend to learn on their
deathbeds You'll know thatpeople are garbage.
So your mission is to be morethan a person, an ubermensch.
(47:32):
Be truly free, and that startswith the power of mistrust,
leading with your mistrust.
Let your bitterness protect you.
Be skeptical, radicallyagnostic.
Don't take any crap off ofanyone that's played out.
K-chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM,in Chinatown, downtown, the cusp
(47:53):
of Echo Park and the city ofLos Angeles, and perhaps deep
out in space many decades fromnow.
If you're listening in thatcontext, sup that slang that we
have now you can use it becauseit's timeless.
More specifically, you'relistening to Emerson Dameron's
Medicated Minutes, la's numberone avant-garde personal
development program,medicated-minutescom.
(48:16):
I'm Emerson Dameron, yourproducer, director, writer, host
and raison d'etre witty andwounded romantic hero.
On Emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes.
I love you personally.
Levity saves lives.
We broadcast from Los Angeles,california and the United States
of America, north America,western Hemisphere, planet Earth
(48:39):
and the solar system, which iscalled the solar system, because
we're very self-centeredHeliocentric, I guess, is more
accurate.
But it's not the solar system.
It's one of many.
You perhaps have a differentname for it.
That makes sense.
We haven't communicated.
It'll be interesting to seewhat we have in common.
How right is Noam Chomsky aboutthe language mechanism?
(49:02):
Perhaps we will find out In themeantime.
Los Angeles is my home.
It's my adopted hometown.
I've gone through the fullcycle of loving it and hating it
, and now it's just where I liveand, yes, it can be a lonely
and overwhelming place but,lonely as I am.
Together, we cry and, much likeme, los Angeles has been
(49:24):
unfairly maligned, misconstrued,misunderstood.
People don't get its jokes orappreciate its edge of the world
, weirdness and absurdity.
People start beefs from otherparts of the country.
There's a feud between LA andSan Francisco that's so cool and
subterranean that only SanFrancisco knows about it.
(49:47):
New York sees fit to castaspersions on Los Angeles.
I'm not sure where they findthe time being that New York is
the only place where anythingmatters.
You'd think they would havetheir hands full and yet they
have time for derision andmockery of Los Angeles, and
there is fair criticism to bemade of this town.
(50:09):
It is expensive.
That can drive you to new featsof tenacity and shamelessness
and it can be beneficial toexplore that part of yourself.
But yes, it's overpriced.
There's a housing crisis.
There are ways to solve it.
It's unlikely that everyone'sgoing to agree to disagree and
do the right thing anyway.
(50:29):
La is full of people.
The metro area has got 12million of them.
People can be terrible.
There are also crystals offractal stardust from beyond
good and evil, nearly infinitelycomplex.
Los Angeles is full of them, soit's like a universe unto
itself.
Yes, the traffic is bad, youcould take mass transit.
We have it.
(50:49):
15 years ago I never would havethought there'd be a train that
goes all the way to the beach,and now there is.
And if you do get stuck intraffic, that's an opportunity
to get to know yourself, to feelyour frustration, to get
insight into what makes youannoyed, what that says about
you.
It can be more uncomfortable,but then you can have a big
breakthrough.
(51:10):
You're at liberty to do that,because when you're driving it's
sort of free time, and, unlessyou're taking meetings on your
phone in your car like a chump,it is time to listen to the
classics on audiobooks, orlisten to Emerson Dameron's
Medicaid Admittance, or sitalone with your thoughts One of
the best ways to spend your timein a culture that largely
(51:31):
discourages it.
Speaking of which, although LosAngeles is the most culturally
diverse city on earth, we get alot of incoming flack from
people who think LA is ruled bysuperficiality.
Oh, everything's just soshallow.
Don't confuse superficialitywith extroversion and sex appeal
(51:52):
.
Yes, people here are famouslyhot.
Historically, we've been ableto go hiking during the winter,
when everyone else iscomplaining and skidding around
on the ice.
This year has been weird.
It was Seattle.
For six months we had snow onthe Hollywood sign.
It was hail.
In Venice, where I live, becausewe've entered an age of
discontinuity.
No one's ready for what'salready happened.
(52:12):
Things are gonna get weird andstay that way.
All bets are off.
Los Angeles is particularlywell-primed for that, for
reasons that we will get into.
The assumption that it's asuperficial place often comes
from judgment calls about theentertainment industry.
Oh, by the way, wherever youlive, your experience at that
place is the people that youchoose to hang out with.
(52:35):
And in Los Angeles, you have tobe very deliberate about
hanging out with anyone.
That's because it is balkanized, because of the car culture.
You have to really go out ofyour way to hang out with
particular people.
If somebody says we should hangout sometime, that means I will
never see you again.
The only way to make thingshappen is to be extremely
deliberate about it.
Tell people exactly what to do,which is what most people want
(52:58):
and what they're waiting for, sodon't keep them waiting.
Say I'm going to do this openmic Tuesday night 6.30 pm.
Come along if you like.
My life is a party.
I'm going to have a good timeregardless.
You're invited If you want toshow up and hang out.
That's cool.
If you're busy, I will ask youlater on.
And I'll keep asking at risk ofbecoming a pest, because the
(53:19):
only way to hang out with peopleis very much on purpose.
Just put out those invitationsagain and again, and again.
And if your experience of LosAngeles is that everyone is
shallow, you're the commondenominator there.
And if you find yourselfhanging out with shallow people,
just say don't you, just hateall those shallow people and
they'll be like oh god, I know,and you'll bond and possibly
(53:42):
hook up and you can have hatesex with them.
If you've never known the joysof hate sex, you've not truly
lived, available in abundance.
In Los Angeles.
There's the assumption that theculture is driven by Hollywood
and the entertainment business.
That vapidness drives theculture of the city, which in
fact has a fascinating art scene, street-level activism, to beat
(54:05):
the band, the murals, streetart like nowhere else in the
world.
It's a job.
A lot of it is churning outcrap to make money for rich
assholes.
What do you do for a living?
Soon enough, you won't have todo anything.
I am for full unemployment.
Work is for suckers and we maybe on the road to getting rid of
it, and that will partly bebecause of people in the
(54:27):
entertainment industry.
We are now ground zero for thelabor movement, which was
sitting in the closet with themothballs and spiders in their
webs ever since reagan waspresident, and now people are
waking up.
If having margot robbie on yourside is a way to wake people up
, entertainers and athletes havea lot of pull.
(54:48):
L ron hubbard was right aboutthat.
Go for it.
Let's make this happen.
It's time for cutting heads.
It's happening here.
The writers, writers strike,the actors strike.
Big news got everyone havingsome uncomfortable conversations
about what we value, how we'regetting bled dry, how no one
should ever work again, andperhaps you can have a ludic
revolution.
(55:08):
Regardless, la is the mostculturally diverse city in the
world.
It's full of art, music,theater.
There's no excuse to be bored.
Yes it can be lonely andmaddening, and if you break down
you'll fit right in.
You're never at risk of beingthe most interesting person in
Los Angeles or seeming bonkersor off your rocker compared to a
(55:31):
lot of the people that you meethere.
It's a city full of dreamers.
Having a dream requires athreshold of self-deception and
denial, and some people go waypast the requirement, the
required minimum for that.
There's also been thesuggestion that LA is
apocalyptic, that we've beenwaiting for the big one for a
long time and that we could bewashed into the Pacific Ocean at
(55:53):
any time, which sounds a bitlike wish casting from those
covetous of grapes that theywould like to believe are sour.
In which case, thanks a lot forwishing us all dead.
That's very thoughtful.
That's how you do it.
Back east, I prefer to think ofit not as apocalyptic so much as
(56:14):
having a lively and activerelationship with the noble
truth of impermanence.
Nothing lasts forever.
Most things don't come anywhereclose to that.
La is the place to experienceimpermanence up close and
personal.
Much as it's full of delightfulabsurdities and
edge-of-the-world weirdness andkooky characters, things are
(56:36):
very conspicuously impermanentin Los Angeles.
We're good at erasing ourhistory.
The future is conspicuouslyuncertain.
All bets have been off reallysince the beginning, because
they built a city in the middleof the desert.
By the way, if you don't thinkthat there's any nature here, oh
, the river is paved.
Oh, all I did was sit on afreeway and hang out with
(56:57):
shallow people.
Guess what We've got parks,deserts, mountains, beaches
almost all the nature that youcould possibly want.
I was on the board for anon-profit entity called
Wildwoods and what we did wastake kids from Pico Union, which
is an area that is starved forgreenery.
(57:18):
Somebody made a shade map ofLos Angeles with all the shade
covering and you'd be shocked toknow it winds up almost exactly
with the income distribution.
That's also an obscene thingabout LA.
It's Rio de Janeiro-esque inclass stratification.
Like I said, it's very far fromperfect.
I might GTFO at any time.
(57:38):
There are a lot of other placesI could live.
For a while I thought I couldonly live here.
I'm starting to realize that'snot the case.
I've lived in an amusement parkfor the last three years.
My soul is exhausted.
But guess what?
Criticism is good if it'swell-informed and constructive,
because we need to build somenew housing here, if you can do
anything constructive vis-a-visLos Angeles?
(57:59):
Please do.
There's a lot of nature.
We're down one big cat,everything is on fire.
A lot of the time we don't takegreat care of the nature
because there's again that lackof grounding in a time continuum
.
It's just now, now, now, now,now all the time, and a lot of
the absurdity and richness ofthe place is related to that and
(58:23):
could not exist without it.
Los Angeles is complicated.
My relationship with LosAngeles is complicated, but if
you don't know what you'retalking about, stay out of it.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes K-Chung Los
Angeles.
Kchungradioorg on the WorldWide Web.
Speaker 4 (59:42):
K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchungradioorg EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes LA
number one event guard personaldevelopment program.
Medicated-minutescom.
Levity saves lives.
Bye, outro Music.
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