July 2, 2025 • 60 mins
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE COMPLETELY FUCKED
(AND THAT'S WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS)
The sun doesn't give a damn if you deserve its warmth. It burns for everyone, even the assholes. And darling, that's your first lesson in unconditional self-love.
Welcome to an episode that's going to strip you of your British politeness and your American self-help addiction in one cosmic strip tease.
Picture this: You're in Shoreditch, where the air tastes like artisanal coffee and broken dreams. Helena the Brit is teaching you how to turn your chaos into currency while sophisticated wankers debate whether the trash pile in the corner is an art installation or just garbage. (Spoiler: It's both, and so are you.)
Get ready for:
- The raw truth about why your relationships taste like microwaved leftovers
- How to stop mistaking compromise for love (and settling for lukewarm when you could be volcanic)
- The art of becoming so authentically yourself that it makes others uncomfortable
- Why your self-pity is the worst foreplay imaginable
WARNING: This episode contains:
- Zero fucks given about your comfort zone
- Dangerous levels of permission to want what you want
- Explicit instructions for turning your mental noise into a symphony of self-actualization
- A master class in recognizing red flags before they become relationship crime scenes
Listen as we explore why your fear of judgment is just bad cosmic foreplay, and how surrendering to life's absurdity might get you laid by the universe itself.
From the bedroom to the boardroom, we're teaching you to wear your confidence like expensive lingerie – invisible to others but making you feel like a god(dess) among mortals.
Stop settling for the kind of love that requires a user manual. Start embracing the kind that burns down your limiting beliefs and dances naked in the ashes.
Available now wherever you get your permission to be completely, unapologetically yourself.
Remember: The chaos isn't trying to break you – it's trying to break you open.
And that's where the good stuff lives.
Trust me. I don't care what you think, and that's exactly why you should listen.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is LA's number-one avant-garde personal development program. New episodes premiere on KCHUNG Los Angeles on the first Wednesday of the month.
The writer, producer, host, and witty and wounded romantic hero is Emerson Dameron, who is wholly responsible for its content.
Levity saves lives.
Got something to say to me? Slide into the DMs.
It's OUT! Sophistication Nation: Brief Interviews with Women I Pretend to Understand: https://emersondameron.hearnow.com/sophistication-nation
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know, sometimes I think about the way the sun
feels on my skin and it's likemaybe that's all I really need,
Just warmth, you know, not thekind that comes from people they
always want something back, butthe kind that just is Like the
sun doesn't care if I'm here ornot, it just shines, and maybe
that's why I keep moving, keeprunning.
I'm not sure if I'm chasing thewarmth or trying to escape the
(00:20):
shadows.
Anyway, what was I saying?
Oh right, the beach boys withtheir motorcycles.
God, they always smell likegasoline and freedom.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I don't love you.
I don't need you to love me.
I love myself.
It's better, I find, to be highon myself and wrong than down
on myself and right.
It is important to understandone's own weaknesses to the
extent that it makes it easierto toughen up and to relax, not
take it so seriously.
Solve the problem, get thatweakness out of your system and
(01:22):
love yourself.
You know you're the kind ofperson who can do that To love
yourself irrationally,ridiculously, way over the top.
Write love letters to yourself,fall of hyperbole, get on your
own jock and stay there.
Anyone who disrespects yourelish the opportunity to throw
that person overboard, becauseyou're the captain of the ship
(01:44):
and that's because you know whatyou're doing.
You look around.
You see, most people don't knowwhat they're doing.
Most people are so far off fromhaving any idea what they're
doing.
They assume positions of powerthat they're not qualified for
and what you want to do is stepback and see the angles above
the angles, like it's a pooltable, and strategize.
(02:06):
Don't take people at their word.
Don't take things at face value.
Who benefits?
What's the angle here?
Why is this person doing thisthing?
What do they stand to gain?
They could just be a loosecannon.
Don't assume that they knowwhat they're doing.
It's a really excellent chancethat they don't.
There's a difference betweenmalice and incompetence.
(02:27):
There's also a point where theybleed into each other, and
that's where ruthless ice-coldstrategists are so badly needed
in this world.
Who cares if somebody thinksthey need you?
You don't have to worry aboutthe rules.
They're not enforced.
It's a stupid honor system.
(02:48):
The rules are for suckers.
Most people are so beaten downand so afraid and so defined by
their own learned helplessnessthat they just obey the rules,
follow their training, which hasmade them good servants and
slaves and bitches.
You don't have to be like that.
You can see through it.
(03:08):
You can pretend to be like that.
That helps you get inside andget what you want.
You can do anything you want.
This is your life.
These other people aresupporting characters.
This is your story.
You're never going to regretloving yourself too much and
having too much fun, or doingwhat you want to do, how you
(03:30):
want to do it, with whom youwant to do it, when you want to
do it and do it to it.
That's what the world wants andneeds.
Who?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
cares.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
It's about what you want and need.
If it feels good to be powerful, do that.
If it feels good to be smackedaround and dominated, do that.
You can do it on your own time.
You can do it whenever.
Do it.
Let it be and make it big.
This is all you get.
The meek inherit nothing.
This life right here is all youget.
(04:00):
What are you going to do now,bitch?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
K-Chunk, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchunkradioorg EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes.
Medicated-minutescom.
Levity saves lives, outro.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Music.
(04:54):
What do you care what otherpeople think?
Who are you trying to impress?
Why is it anyone other thanyourself?
You slam on the brakes, dodamage to your own car and much
more damage to your self-respectto avoid hitting someone.
They're walking.
You're driving, you got theadvantage, use it.
There's not enough winning inthis life.
(05:14):
And yet, even when you're in aperfect position to knock that
person over physically andcertainly symbolically, does it
even occur to you to do it?
Do you really think cops aregood at solving crimes?
Do you think you'd feel badabout yourself?
Are you afraid you'd feelreally good about yourself?
It's scary to be better thanother people.
(05:35):
You might think we want that,but the further along we get on
that journey, the more we haveto think about.
And if we're thinking aboutstuff because we think other
people are thinking about it,really we can't take their word
for it, even if they say thatsomething concerns them.
Who really knows?
Who knows if they even exist?
What do you care what otherpeople think?
Don't let fear be who you are.
(06:19):
It's part of your reality.
If you're doing anything,that's a risk and a leap of
faith.
If that's going to work out,and you know it's going to work
out, there's a risk and a leapof faith.
If that's gonna work out, andyou know it's gonna work out,
there's no risk and it's notreally worth doing because
you're not going to get anywherethat you haven't already been.
And if you're doing that, ifyou're taking risks and doing
anything that's adding anythingto the mix, you will be scared.
(06:41):
So know that, feel it and don'tlet your feelings get in the
way of doing what you want to do.
Keep in mind much greaterabundance of resources and
pleasure, which is the point oflife.
All organisms know this.
Plants grow toward the sun andthere's pleasure out there for
the getting, as well as money,sex, power, world peace.
(07:02):
I would think it's just thatyou don't see options that you
don't know that you have.
And so they're not reallyoptions, so you have to discover
them.
You have to find the questionsand love those.
We already know the answer is42.
So figure out what the questionis for you that gets there.
Try to cut down on negativityand complaining, or at least
(07:24):
notice when you're doing it.
It's worth it because you'llalso get insight about people
around you that are alsobitching to excess.
And if you can get it down,you'll be surprised at how good
it feels and how much betteryour life gets and how much more
stuff seems to gravitate to youthat you love, and you should
really check it out.
(07:45):
What happens if you can get itclose to zero?
One thing some people do is youput a rubber band around your
wrist and just snap it wheneveryou have a negative thought.
Might be worth trying, whateverit takes to just notice how you
talk to yourself and I'm theking of the inner drill sergeant
with the brutal internalmonologue that sends me into
(08:05):
rumination, death spirals, andif anyone else talked to me that
way, I would get a restrainingorder.
So I really, as a function ofmy survival, I need to pay
attention to that, and it'sinteresting.
You'll be surprised if you payattention to how you're talking
to yourself how things can makesense in a different way if you
can zoom out and go meta andrail ketamine until that's easy
(08:29):
to do.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Don't react.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Make the first move.
The first mover has a lot ofpower.
Find somewhere to make thefirst move.
Find something that you're goodat, that you love, and win that
game.
Life is full of games.
It's full of war, but it's notall one big world series.
You don't have to compete withBarack Obama.
You can win at your own table.
(08:51):
So figure out where that is.
When you do when you havesomething that is worth doing.
Put that right in the middleand let your life revolve around
that for a while.
Be weird, be unbalanced.
Really get into that.
An hour a day for 90 days wouldbe a minimum and you'll be
shocked at how your life startsto express your genius and you
(09:14):
forget that you forgot how to becreative and improvisational
and MacGyver like a little kidand you learn what you already
knew.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Give it a shot.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
The worst thing that can happen is nothing, or you
could go crazy and your lifecould get worse, and then you
could hate me forever.
That's fine, totally fair.
I can take it.
If there's nothing that getsyou pumped like that, pick
something.
Find something that needs to bedone.
There is so much work thatneeds to be done.
It's not all paid, it's notsexy and glamorous necessarily.
There's no excuse for notchipping in.
(09:47):
So find something and make thatyour purpose and then, if it
doesn't work, try something else.
Take care of yourself first.
Do that with integrity,authenticity and the full
awareness that this right here,this life, is all we get.
If we come back, we will not berecognizable to ourselves as
(10:10):
ourselves.
This is the one ride I get asEmerson Dameron, so I'm going to
do right by Emerson first, as aheuristic, sometimes I have to
take care of my peoples, butdon't put other people first by
default because you want them tolike you and care about you.
It has the opposite effect.
If your most important goal inlife is to get us to like you,
(10:35):
that's the only thing we knowabout you, because we don't know
what your real opinions are orwho you are, and you're useless
in a combat scenario, becausewho the hell are you?
Whereas if you let us know andwe dig it, we're down like that,
and if we don't, we were nevergoing to be friends in the long
run.
Anyway, when the truth comes out, which it always does, Don't
(11:00):
allow yourself to get stuck inthe cul-de-sac of blaming other
people for your problems.
It could be that you like tosuffer.
Most people do.
It's useful and interesting,just as a thought experiment, to
say to yourself what if I am incontrol of my experience?
What if I am the auteur of mylife?
(11:20):
What if I'm the only personthat's ever going to be as
invested in this as I am?
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Will.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I still be mad at somebody for not texting me back
in 2018 when I was alone?
Maybe so, but you'll be wastingyour time.
Own 100% of your 50% or 100% ofyour 0.001%.
Look, sometimes it was theother person's fault and you
didn't do anything wrong.
That's tough Psychologically.
(11:46):
It's hard to deal with.
When you're done dirty.
You kind of have to, otherwiseyou're going to get stuck.
Other people are going to bemaking your decisions for you
and it's going to be theassholes in your life that do
that.
Remember that culture is notyour friend.
It can be fun.
It's something to talk about Ifyou're stuck talking about
(12:09):
Netflix instead of your thoughtsand feelings and your ideas
about the universe.
Sure, it's fine to binge watchSecession.
I go back and watch theepisodes again because there's
so much to unpack.
Don't leave it there.
Don't worship celebrities.
Don't live vicariously throughthese stories.
Culture is not your friend.
(12:29):
Create your own roadshow.
Make your own thing, Tell yourown stories.
It's incredibly powerful.
It's godlike.
You don't have to be aprofessional like me or a genius
.
The stories don't have to begood.
But when you start doing that,especially when you start to get
good at it and enjoy it andbecome a fan of your own stories
(12:50):
, you'll never want to go backIf you can't find a purpose.
Find a porpoise If you're notliving with purpose.
There are a lot of porpoisesthat need to be taken care of
and loved as your own family,and that could be your purpose,
even if it turns out to be abust.
You got to hang out withporpoises and have a chill sesh,
(13:14):
and that's its own reward, asfar as I'm concerned.
I'm envious.
You're living right, you'reballing in my book and my book
is correct.
Everyone else's book is garbage.
Try that.
There's no excuse for doingnothing, except when it's time,
when it's time to be alone andshut up, resist distractions.
Then do nothing.
When that's not the case, finda porpoise, Love it till its ego
(13:38):
dissolves and it experiencestrue peace, bliss, freedom and
is at one with the universe, andyou will be the person who made
that happen.
You can never really feel badabout yourself after that Not if
you're being honest withyourself.
The world's full of people.
(13:59):
Most of them are infinitely,fractally complex.
Everyone has a shadow side.
Everyone has imperfections thatoften make them more beautiful
and sometimes make themdestructive in ways that they
don't realize.
Those people can be the mostdangerous.
Some of them you'll really like.
Some of them will really likeyou.
A frustrating amount of the timethey will not be the same
(14:20):
people.
Sometimes you won't like thepeople that are good for you.
You might really like somebodyand really want to be down with
them, and when you hang out withthem you feel like Alice taking
the shrinking mushroom.
Maybe they are cool, maybe youlove this person.
I'm not going to take that awayfrom you, but the world is full
of people.
We don't have time to know mostof them intimately.
When you're young, you thinkyou're going to be down with all
(14:43):
kinds of people and it reallyends up just being a few of them
.
If somebody makes you feelterrible about yourself, that's
not the friend for you, nomatter how cool they are.
You should not let them getaway with making you feel like
you're not Nobody's that cool.
Speaker 6 (15:01):
Darling.
If there's one thing I detest,it's a combination of vulgarity
and ignorance Like imagineactually paying for your vices.
That's for hedge fund managers,neglected middle children,
tourists in Ibiza.
Real sophistication lies inaccepting the absurd abundance
(15:22):
of life and the mundane miraclesit throws your way.
Yeah, so it was that.
I found myself at a galleryopening in Shoreditch.
You know the sort Halfperformance art, half excuse for
trust fund muppets to wearthings they don't understand.
One installation was literallya pile of rubble, with a placard
reading entropy Eh, veryProustian, I'm sure.
(15:43):
The real piece de resistance,though, wasn't the art.
It was Calvin Klein.
Not the man darling, nor hisknickers, though I do have a few
where I keep those sorts ofsouvenirs.
No, this was something even moreintoxicating.
A delightful concoction ofcocaine and ketamine whispered
about in certain circles.
(16:04):
Alternatively, I suppose youcould call it Louis CK, although
that would be a bit grim forsome tastes, including mine.
At any rate, when someonesidled up to me with a
silver-tipped vial and murmuredCalvin Klein, I naturally
assumed it was an invitation toa private after-party at the
groucho.
But no, this was far moreexclusive.
(16:25):
I leaned in, letting thesuggestion hang in the air in
all its lushness, then simplysaid naturally, you see, I'm not
some party girl snorting linesoff a nightclub toilet.
I've been to Berlin, darling.
I've read Walter Benjamin.
I understand that a trulysublime experience requires the
(16:46):
right setting.
And this flat was divine,mid-century modern with just a
whisper of bohaus.
And the host, some ludicrouslyyoung financier, had impeccable
taste in wine, if notnecessarily in companionship.
Now the Calvin Klein, itself anexperience.
The initial rush was like anoverture by Liszt Sweeping,
(17:10):
grandiose, utterlytransformative and ever so
romantic.
My thoughts were electric,crystalline, like I'd been
plugged into the cosmos.
I turned to the man beside me,an intense, brooding sort with
cheekbones that could slice upyour soul like a ham, and
declared you, my dear, are theraison d'etre of this soiree.
(17:32):
He blinked at me, clearlyoverwhelmed, and then, oh then,
the ketamine arrived.
Everything slowed to adreamlike waltz.
It felt like stepping into aMagritte painting Surreal,
seductive, with a faint air ofmenace.
At one point, I'm certain Iheld a Socratic debate with a
(17:53):
rhododendron.
Its arguments were surprisinglycompelling.
At any rate, I found myself inthe host's private library, and
I used the terms found myselfand library quite loosely.
There, amidst the literarydetritus, was Stefan Tall wiry,
wearing black turtleneck chic.
(18:14):
He looked like he'd beenplucked straight out of a
Goddard film one of the lesserones, you, he said with this
delightfully absurd gravitas.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
You, exquisite indigo child sent from the land beyond
good and evil, you, my dear,are precisely as prophesied.
Speaker 6 (18:38):
Now, I don't usually humour that sort of hyperbolic
folderol, but I thought why notindulge him?
It's what Cleopatra would do,so allowed myself to be adorned
in a leather collar.
He read poetry, something aboutconstellations and submission.
Might have been something hewrote himself.
Stefan had the air of someonewho's deeply proud of his
(19:00):
unpublished manuscripts andconvinced the world doesn't
deserve them, except for me, ofcourse.
And then, darling, it happened.
Stefan, with his broodingcheekbones and nouveau vague
intensity, transformed thisoutlandish chamber into a set
piece worthy of Bunyan.
The room was bathed in violetlight, the walls adorned with
shimmering tapestries depictingconstellations and celestial
(19:24):
body.
It was all too strange to betacky, helena.
He intoned, as though invokingan ancient spell.
The great circle can now becompleted.
With that, he affixed a leash tothe leather collar around my
neck and gave it a slight pull,which I found both grounding and
(19:45):
exhilarating.
Tonight, you surrender yourlight to me he said as he tried
to tie my wrists together with asilk scarf that smelled faintly
of sandalwood and ego.
It was also absurdly theatricalthat I half expected a Greek
chorus to materialise and scoldus for our hubris.
But let me tell you, darling,for those fleeting moments, I
(20:09):
was lost in it, truly,ecstatically lost.
The Calvin Klein swirling in myveins, the light spinning like
Van Gogh's stars, stefanwhispering what I can only
describe as metaphysicalnonsense about my energy.
Fueling the cosmic balance.
It's a horribly thoughtlessthing to mix metaphors around
(20:30):
someone with synesthesia who isalso on ketamine, which perhaps
should have been a red flag Atany rate.
Ensconced as I was in thatmoment, I let go completely.
I surrendered body and mind tothe sheer decadence of it.
I was no longer Helena, theicon, the muse, the intellectual
, the woman who never pays forher drugs.
(20:51):
I was a celestial body orbitingStefan's gravitational pull, I
thought.
Finally, someone who gets it,someone who understands how to
truly dominate the sun and moonof my ego and bring it all
together at last.
Oh, I can feel it now, so close, just about to happen.
(21:11):
But then, like all greattragedies, it fell apart.
Stefan paused mid-ritual handon my collar eyes, wild and
whispered.
Do you feel it?
Eternity is rejecting us?
Rejecting us, darling.
He said this as though we werephysicists conducting a doomed
(21:33):
experiment and not having a shagin the back alleys of his
neighborhood of make-believe.
I blinked, trying to decipherif this was part of his dom-act
or an actual psychotic break.
Sometimes it's hard to knowwhere the line is.
Yeah, not in this case.
It was the latter.
He collapsed onto the floorclutching his chest, like some
melodramatic protagonist in aChekhov play.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
I can't contain it.
The orgone energy it's too muchthe Orgone energy.
Speaker 6 (22:02):
It's too much.
And just like that, stefan, thegreat new age goth dom of
Shoreditch, had an emotionalbreakdown at my feet, muttering
solipsistic nonsense aboutcosmic imbalance and the
futility of human connection.
He looked up at me, tearsstreaming down his face, and
whimpered I failed you.
(22:24):
I peered down at him utterlydumbfounded.
My ecstasy evaporated, replacedby the crushing disappointment
of a performance cut short.
Stefan, I said suddenly, cooland dry as a martini, if you're
going to claim to be a vectorfor a cosmic prophecy, the least
you can do is keep it togetherfor five minutes.
(22:45):
He babbled some excuse,disguised as an explanation, but
I was already undoing the silkscarf.
The collar was harder to figureout, but he readily handed me
the other end of the leash.
The violet light suddenly feltgarish, the constellations on
the walls more juvenile thansurreal.
My only solace was that no oneelse had witnessed this debacle.
(23:07):
I left him there, crumpled inhis cosmic celestial despair,
and returned to the party likenothing had happened.
The DJ had switched tostation-to-station era Bowie and
someone was passing aroundglasses of champagne so we could
toast to something or other.
So was it transcendent?
Almost?
Was it disappointing?
Absolutely, but embarrassing?
(23:29):
Oh no, darling, I'm neverembarrassed.
Stefan, on the other hand, isprobably still weeping into his
velvet drapes expecting someother bright young thing to
resemble him.
I suppose some people justcan't handle the seductive pull
of my presence.
What a burden it must be torequire that much attention.
But isn't it marvelous, thethings that gravitate to us when
(23:51):
we're willing to take the oddinterpersonal risk now and again
.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Your mission is pure masculine magnetism.
Embrace the virility withinHeart, mind and mojo the other
dark triad.
You're like a badger, a weedwhacker and a wizard teamed up.
Love yourself violently.
Forget.
(24:21):
You forgot how to grab yourcock when you were born.
The doctor died from envy.
So experience passion withoutcompromise, through the force of
pure masculine magnetism.
Knock down buildings with yourcock.
Be so confident you get whatyou want just by looking at it
or thinking about it.
Be in the moment which, likethe women in your life, is
(24:43):
densely packed.
Know what you're doing.
Do unto others.
Indulge in sensual sovereignty.
Practice the art of seduction.
Experience in their fullsplendor true pleasures of
manhood.
Don't get too serious.
Love doesn't matter.
Sex doesn't matter.
What matters is f***ing a**.
Your libido prints its owncurrency.
(25:04):
Your ex-lovers are permanentlyf***ed.
Reclaim your dominion in thebedroom.
It should be illegal to swing af*** like you do without a
license.
Your home is your palace.
Your bedroom is yourinterrogation chamber.
F*** competitively, statewideat least.
Own your else.
Cheat on your property taxes.
Elevate your intimacy game.
(25:24):
Keep your power.
Win the relationship.
Win without competing.
Play the infinite off game.
Play this shit like pinballmachines with the force of your
pure masculine magnetism.
Celebrate your manhood.
Be hot, be cool.
Yup hurricane.
Their whimpers, moans and theiryour manhood.
Be hot, be cool, be a hurricane.
Let her whimpers, moans andeggs speak for you.
(25:46):
It's the best testimonial.
Make her come like Crackatella.
Set off metal detectors, erasehard drives with your
masculinity.
Embrace your true seductivenature.
Command the world with yourmasculinity.
Unleash your intimate potential.
Embrace the pleasures ofmanhood.
Experience the ultimate unionof body and soul.
Celebrate the power of yoursexual vitality.
Forge your path as a fearlessman.
(26:08):
You embrace a wild side ofmanhood.
Break the chains of socialexpectations.
Dare to be an unconventionalman, fueled by raw power,
untamed virility, driven by theforce of masculine magnetism.
I'm a touch-hungry bastard.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I've always been.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
It's my love language , it's the one I like, because I
want to be touched in afriendly way and also in a
sexual way.
If I have high status, peoplewill touch me, or they'll want
to and they'll ask and I'll letthem, because I'm a touch-hungry
bastard, as I mentioned.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Absolutely never give up your freedom.
Ever, for any reason.
Security is a lie.
Freedom is the only thingthat's true.
Make sure that you go throughlife cool, as an unencumbered
cucumber, not dealing withanybody that wants to bring you
(27:24):
down, not caring what anybodythinks of you, because that's
giving control to label you topeople who don't know what
they're doing.
It's scary to have emotions.
It's a work of a lifetime toknow how to deal with them, to
figure out how to accept andfeel your emotion.
The expression of emotion isthat emotion's death knell.
However, in order to getthrough the day, you have to get
(27:47):
into practice of not onlyacknowledging your emotions but
managing them, not peeping themout on other folks.
Being vulnerable in a situationwhere you're going to have to do
that work in real time, underthe opposition and judgment of
someone else who may be quitechildlike.
That's what you're committingto when you commit.
Maybe you don't want to committo that, maybe you don't want to
settle.
You've got a commitment.
(28:07):
Really, who's basicallysettling?
You are acknowledging that thisis as good as it gets.
No point in going any further.
Made it to Chicago and it's gotto be as good as it gets.
There's no place that's goingto compete with this.
No paradise of pouring sunshineand delicious Mexican food on
the other side of thosemountains you can see in the
(28:28):
distance, because there's nopollution.
Let's make some.
Let's build a city right here,because let's do as good as it
gets, let's settle, let's committo make the most of this
Chicago opportunity.
You don't know that you'resettling.
You just think, okay, it's notgoing to get any better than
this.
I have to plant my flag in thesoil.
You'll never know whether itgets better or not.
You'll probably settle and keepdoubling down on settling and
(28:51):
that flag will go deeper in theground.
You might lose all your friends.
That's something that doesn'tget talked about a whole lot.
You're going to be spendingtime maintaining the
relationship, moving up all theexpectations that are now laid
upon you, raising a child,paying off your mortgage, making
sure you keep this person happyin ways that you anticipate and
(29:12):
ways that you don't.
You aren't always told.
You're going to have a lot ofresponsibility.
It's time-consuming, it'senergy-consuming, it sucks you
dry.
You don't really have time tohave friends anymore, which is
too bad because you need asocial network.
As you get deeper into thecommitment, you compromise on
the foundations of a good lifethat you're going to need when
(29:32):
things go haywire or south oroff the rails or otherwise, to
hell, which could easily happen.
When you discover that maybeyou never were quite as good a
match with this individual asyou thought that you might be,
as the assumptions and themisconceptions and the illusions
that helped you fall in loveand helped you make this
(29:54):
commitment start to dissolve andfall away, you might realize
you never really knew thisperson.
They left out a lot of crucialinformation.
They wanted you to like them,they wanted to get you and now
they got you.
So the mask is going to slipand you might discover things
that you love that you neverloved before.
You might also discover a lotof things you hate that
(30:17):
undermine your trust.
Once that's gone, it really isdead the whole thing, and once
the sex gets bad, forget it.
You need to get out of there.
Most people aren't gonna workwith you to improve that
situation.
They don't even like having sexwith you anymore.
There's so many signs it's notworth saving and it's no longer
a problem because once you'recommitted, it's easier to just
(30:38):
keep recommitting, even if youknow that you're missing out on
the life, that you really want,the career you could have had.
You don't think that reallyyou're not willing to pursue
your dangerous dreams becauseyou decided to keep doubling
down on this commitment.
Instead, the opportunity costof that is anything else you'd
(30:59):
want to do with your life.
The desire for security alwayscomes from pain, it comes from
fear.
It comes from being hurt in thepast, not wanting to get hurt
that way again.
So much of life'sridiculousness comes from the
fear of death.
Fear of repeating the samewounds, the compulsion to fight
the last battle.
That's why we have to take ourshoes off at the airport.
(31:20):
One dude decided to do that.
He didn't even accomplishanything, but we're not going to
let the exact same thing happenagain.
We're not going to get hurt inthe same way.
We're going to Rube Goldbergifyour lives to keep that from
happening.
We're going to get withsomebody else that does the same
thing.
We don't even know where thosebehaviors come from at this
point.
They don't either.
(31:40):
It takes years of therapy toget to the bottom of this.
It takes years of meditation toget around it.
Of course we're not going to dothose things because you don't
know who we are.
And it is better that way,because now we can be automatons
, we can be robots, we can benon-playable characters in
service to this.
What is it, this relationshipthing?
(32:01):
It's supposedly greater thanthe sum of its two parts.
Once the end comes, which itwill you'll either deny it and
try to stick it out and just letbetrayals land up.
Double lies will get morecomplicated, the lies will be on
top of lies.
Everyone will be exhausted fromlying all the time and the
deception, betrayal, overt andcovert.
Or you could just end it lies.
(32:21):
Everyone will be exhausted fromlying all the time and the
deception, betrayal, overt andcovert.
Or you could just end it, whichis painful and expensive.
I say this as a veteran of thereservoir dogs of divorces.
This is going to screw me upfor the rest of my life.
My life could be diminished asa result of that experience and
I'm telling you just don't.
Don't get in a situation whereyou have to deny that the
(32:42):
problem exists, because I won'tbe the first to say that the
divorce is better than thealternative, which would have
been sticking out this intervalrelationship, keeping the BS
going.
Just don't ever get in arelationship to begin with.
Don't give your life away to achild you don't even know that
you can't trust, that you don'thave enough information.
(33:03):
Nobody has enough informationabout anyone else to really
trust each other.
We'll discover at the end ofour lives what real oneness is
all about Interdependence, thedisillusion of the ego and the
porousness of our borders.
It'll all make sense.
It's not going to until then.
When it does, we're not goingto be able to get married or
(33:25):
procreate or sign contractsenslaving us to banks.
Don't do those things now.
That's what I'm saying.
You'll get shut down by yourpartner.
You'll get turned down andinsulted.
Jack is what's an insultwithout a nice injury on top of
it?
They'll cheat on you.
Of course they will.
Adults have sex, not youbecause you don't think that
(33:47):
you're attractive.
If you thought that you wereattractive even if you weren't,
you'd probably get some.
But as it stands, you're goingto be at home while your partner
is out there having a greattime, making memories that they
can think back on wheneverything falls apart, during
the breakup or divorce that'scoming.
They'll also have those peoplerooting for them.
(34:08):
You won't have those.
Your resentment and bitternesswill drive everyone away.
You'll never really knowexactly the nature of what
happened, how it fell apart sobadly.
You won't be able to realizewhen abuse is going on.
As anyone is diagnosable.
Almost every relationship isabusive.
That's the thing about being atwo-person cult, and it's not
(34:29):
intentional.
Most of the time, people arejust awful garbage and they
can't communicate.
Misunderstandings stack on topof conflicts, on top of lies and
half-lies and white lies on topof lies and half-lies and white
lies, inaccuracies, opinionssubstituted for facts,
miscommunication, mismatchedexpectations, including
(34:50):
expectations.
You were not told aboutfinancial conflicts.
You're going to find out howgood you are with money?
Probably not in theory.
Then, though, the intimacy willbreak down.
The resentment will go up asthe intimacy goes down, as the
trust goes down, and now you'vegot kids involved.
Nobody trusts each other.
You're in hell that you createdon Earth.
Get out beforehand.
(35:11):
Don't do this.
Don't get in a relationship.
It's not worth it.
Freedom is the only thing thatmatters.
Be free, free yourself Now.
Do it.
This is the time.
Do it now, or you'll forgetabout it, and then you'll be a
slave before you know what'shappening.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
That brings us to the topic of sex.
Throwing the D is fun for awhile, getting them giving to
people who are very appreciativebecause they're in love with me
.
They'll take it in holes theydidn't even know they had.
But after a while sex gets old.
Anyone who's had a lot of ithas experienced this.
And sometimes that meansgetting more perverted,
(35:51):
escalating the roughness or thevariety, meaning some stuff is
not fit for polite conversation.
It could also mean gettingtotal devotion.
Let's do this exuberantcelebration of human creativity
Also.
You will come to see sucking itas your reward for your full
devotion to me, which meansrunning errands, of course,
(36:13):
washing my car scantily clad andpretty much anything I want.
So it's just pure degradation,because I enjoy that.
That helps me love myself andlove myself first and best, and
that helps the world get what itneeds, because the world needs
for me to get what I want.
I get a lot of sex.
(36:42):
It's obscene, it's ridiculous.
I'm banging it out in churches,in zoos, with humans, women,
not the animals.
I don't swing that way,although what I've discovered is
when you have as much sex as Ido, you're always looking for
new ways to ramp up the novelty.
That's the life I lead.
That's normal for me.
It wasn't always.
(37:02):
I was much like you.
If you're here at I Get Sex andso Can you you're probably not
getting as much sex as you want,or you're trying to take it up
a notch because it's never quiteenough, or you're a
well-established player whoknows the life is practice of
lifelong learning.
You're a player who does thework, and I salute you.
There was a time when I did nothave the sexual access
(37:26):
abundance that I enjoy right now.
Only through a lot of trialerror, hard work, some
embarrassment and a lot ofreally good times did I get to
where I am now, and I'm going toshow you how to cut out
everything except the good timesand the sizzling hot, steamy,
sloppy, messy sex that you'regoing to have when you're
(37:47):
getting sex, like I do, which iswhat you can expect from this
seminar.
Getting sex is important ifyou're a human.
If you're a man, you thinkabout sex many times a day.
If you're a woman, it's morethan that.
We want sex, we need it, it'sour calling.
Everything is sex.
Power is sex.
All the ships that have sailedacross the ocean, all the wars
(38:10):
fought and all the great worksof art created, it was all about
sex.
Somebody was horny.
It is the force of life itself.
Sex is God and you should beproud of wanting sex.
You should get all of the sexthat you want with the caliber
of partners that you want, andit could be different from what
(38:30):
I'm into.
Examine your own beliefs,experiences and your real
desires.
What are the things that areturn-ons for you that you
wouldn't necessarily go aroundtalking about?
There's a book called EverybodyLies, a study of anonymized
Google results.
You know what A lot of men areinto overweight women and other
(38:51):
women that are not ones that areordained to be into, and that's
all fine and good.
If you lead with that, you willget laid more Because you'll
know what you want, which willdrive you to go get it, and you
will do so with fearlessconfidence, doing whatever the
hell you want, staying out ofother people's business,
(39:12):
expecting them to stay out ofyours, and that comes from
self-inquiry, from awareness ofself, from awareness of others
or embodied presence, and thatcomes through having a lot of
sex mindfully, and we'll getinto how you can get that stone
rolling.
First, you have to cut throughlimiting beliefs Beliefs about
(39:34):
yourself, about sex, aboutpeople that hold you back.
What kind of crap did you pickup from your parents, religious
organizations, rejections thatyou faced?
It was all wrong.
Sex is good, it's fun.
It can be sublime, ecstatic,when carried out between people
who know what's up and dig eachother on the same wavelength
(39:56):
there or they're on verydifferent wavelengths and
savoring the joys of hate sex,which I thoroughly recommend.
At least once or twice You'vegot to experience that and then
you can bring some of that intothe rest of your sex life.
You can throw down like you'rethrowing a temper tantrum and do
it as though you're filled withhate in your heart and your
(40:17):
groin, and they'll probably getinto it Because that feels good.
Life is rough.
We need catharsis.
Sometimes we need to take abeating to keep on eating and
repeating the routines that wedo every day.
Life can be a drudgery, but it'sfun when there's a lot of sex
and you cut through all thoselimiting beliefs.
Start with one.
Start with you're notsufficiently good looking.
(40:40):
That's not true.
Everyone is somebody's type.
You haven't found the rightaudience yet.
We're going to work on that.
We're going to get you amakeover and we're going to get
you on the scene where you wantto be and belong Lines on a
graph intersecting.
We're going to find that foryou.
We're going to help you setgoals and a vision, to have a
very clear notion of the sexthat you want, the partner you
(41:01):
want, what you want out of sexand life and all the sex that
you're going to be getting,which is going to be a
substantial amount.
You know exactly what you get.
It makes it a lot easier to getit.
It takes out so much of theguesswork and trial and error
and then, when you've got thatdown, you can go try other
things and things you don't evenknow if you like to see.
Maybe that's a fetish that youdidn't know about.
(41:23):
You could develop positivehabits of getting out there and
getting in the game, gettingexcited, getting sexual, leading
with your sexuality, a fearlesshuman being who's happy to be
here, fully embodied, fullypresent and ready to get it on
at a moment's notice.
And that's the mindset ofresilience, of self-confidence,
(41:44):
taking failure quote-unquotefailure as feedback and, most
importantly, being horny foryourself desperately so.
It's sickening.
You can manage your emotions,whether it's the catching of
feelings, limerence, romantictendencies, all of that Getting
fixated on one person who mightnot like you back and doesn't
(42:06):
need or deserve that much power.
Either way, you can get ahandle on those feelings as well
as any impediments to fullself-confidence that you might
experience, like takingrejection as a referendum on you
as a person.
That person doesn't even knowyou, not like you know yourself,
and you are going to knowyourself good and damned well
when you make a daily practiceof meditation, because that's
(42:29):
going to kill your feelings deador it's going to give you the
power to do that.
You can dominate your feelings.
They will know not to mess withyou because you mean business
and that means the close ofbusiness potentially for them if
they get on your bad side.
So watch it.
Feelings Don't get messy allover the place.
It's my party and you're notgoing to cry if I don't want you
(42:50):
to Practice self-compassion.
Feelings are not wrong.
Your feelings are alwayscorrect, as are everyone else's.
You just have to feel them.
Keep your own counsel.
Know that you know what's up.
Get a workout from all the sexthat you're getting.
Release those feel-good brainchemicals to make all of this a
lot easier.
To squeeze out the wheels andbreeze out the system and be the
(43:12):
best lover that you ever hadfor yourself.
Learn how to masturbate.
It's a spiritual practice.
Learn everything that you wantthe most.
Let yourself have it.
Maybe tease yourself a littlebit, a little fun cat and mouse
action, keep things spicy.
But then you're the only onethat really knows all that and
(43:33):
you're going to keep it foryourself, so the rest of
humanity can rot until it'stheir time.
Develop positive relationshipsand always grateful to everyone
ready to get down and have sexwhen the time comes If you're
into it and they're into it, whynot?
Life is for living.
The shadows draw long.
The night is young, but oh wait, the shadows were long and now
(43:55):
the night is young, but thenight won't last forever, so
start banging it out post hastethrough those positive
relationships you develop,taking action, moving it forward
, getting out there, gettingassertive, making plans, being
the one who plans and invitespeople into your world, into
your life, which is a party, andit doesn't matter if they show
(44:16):
up or not.
The party rages on either, andyou're willing to almost be a
pest, to err on the side of toomuch boldness, which is also the
way that you're going to getall this wild, wet, happy sex.
Err on the side of a little bittoo much confidence.
It's better to be high onyourself and wrong than down on
yourself and right and then moveit forward like a bowling ball
(44:36):
headed down the alley for astrike towards sex.
Always be putting the game inthe mix.
Let it be known that you havesexual intentions and if a
person you're interested in isnot reciprocating, don't invest
too much time.
It's nothing personal, but justkeep it moving.
When you're macking, like youare, people are going to be into
it and you want to meet thosepeople while there's time on the
(44:57):
clock, by taking action andovercoming setbacks.
Always tell the truth.
It's a waste to lie.
You don't need to lie.
If you tell the truth, theworld is your memory.
The underwear drops when youcome in the room telling your
ruthless, unapologetic, fiery,volcanic, explosive, ecstatic,
exuberant, sublime, ethereal,melancholy, furious, raging,
(45:23):
tsunami-ish truth Deep from thebottom of your soul and you tell
it out, and you yell it out,grabbing your crunch, like you
always do about this time.
That's how you deal withsetbacks.
As I mentioned before, I getsex.
I get laid a lot, and now youare en route to having similar
experiences.
Just remember nobody gets laidalone.
I'd like to thank all of mymentors in the sex game, in the
(45:47):
dating game, my fashionconsultants, people that put me
on and hipped me to what was hapon scenes that I wanted to get
involved in.
Thank you to all of you andyou're welcome to all of you, my
students.
I hope you stick around andcontinue to sit at the feet of
the master.
Having followers.
You get a lot of sex.
If you're successful in anyfield, there's sex that comes
(46:10):
with that.
There are groupies involved.
So go out, succeed.
You can do this.
You're already a success.
You're getting laid right now.
You're getting the slow, deep,wet, loving best hummer of your
life.
It's already happening.
Believe it.
This is life, this is your life.
Now Go out, get laid, do it.
So self-pity, no one isinnocent.
(47:15):
We all feel innocent.
We all feel sorry for ourselves.
We feel sorry for ourselves,for feeling sorry for ourselves,
for the guilt we feel thatcomes with that.
It's a natural way to think ofthings.
We see things from our ownperspective, so when we get hurt
, we're going to feel bad forthat person, because we are the
main character.
However, it can be really badfor you if it's indulged into
excess.
It can lead to a sense oflearned helplessness,
(47:36):
helplessness you taught yourself, which can prevent you from
shaking it off getting with thegame in the program and getting
things done right now to improvethings, and then you'll just
feel more sorry for yourselfbecause you really are screwing
it up, you're missing youropportunities and you've got a
negative outlook.
I'm a pessimist.
I think a little bit ofnegativity is good for us.
(47:57):
I don't think you have to be anoptimist to get shit done.
I think you have tooccasionally do stuff that
doesn't feel right.
If you feel sorry for yourselfand develop a pervasively
negative outlook, that'll getharder to do.
If you get in a cul-de-sac ofcrybaby-ishness, you might
isolate yourself.
Maybe people isolate yourself.
Maybe people isolate you.
They don't want to hang outwith you or you don't think that
(48:17):
they do, because you feel badabout yourself.
You want to give yourselfcomfort but it's not really
happening because you don'treally know how to do that.
There are itches you can'treally scratch yourself and we
are who we are through the eyesof others.
You gotta get with other peopleand I'm an introvert.
That's hard to do, but I do itanyway because isolating myself
will shorten my life, possiblydramatically, because I could
(48:38):
flip out and kill myself.
I've come close before.
Lack of resilience is a problemwhen I have more pain than I
have coping resources for it.
The only way to really addressthat is to get out and get with
the people.
Self-pity makes it hard to dothat because I don't trust
people.
I feel like a leper.
I feel scrawny and sickly.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
No, let other people decide.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
Let the critics decide.
Am I some kind of performanceartist?
Am I a genius?
Use that word in connection tome.
If I do it myself, it doesn'treally mean anything.
What do I know?
You got to give other people achance to judge you.
Don't make assumptions aboutwhat kind of negative stuff
they're going to think about you.
That's victimizing yourself.
It comes from and creates a loop, the lack of resilience, the
(49:18):
strength to get back up becauseyou're sucking yourself dry but
seeing yourself as a victim.
You don't interpret yourself assomebody that can handle stuff.
If you read Psycho-Cybernetics,that's how you create yourself.
You are your own great work ofart, and self-pity will make you
feel like not even a martyr,maybe a wannabe martyr, maybe a
failed martyr, denizen of slavemorality in the Nietzschean
(49:42):
sense.
Don't do it, unless you want to.
If you get off on it, fine, dothat on weekends or in the
evenings.
Otherwise it will affect yourrelationships.
It'll affect you as a lover, acitizen, a volunteer, a friend
with benefits.
A one-night stand, a ziplessfuck All that will be impacted
because you'll have troublebuilding relationships, even
(50:03):
fleeting ones, with somebodywho's trying to flirt with you
in the elevator.
You don't even know, because bynow you're all the way into
full tilt black hole, depression, the D-hole.
Prolonged self-pity can get youto the point where, if you
already have depression, you'reexacerbating it, pouring
gasoline on the black flamefeeding the black dog, and if
you don't have it, you might geta taste of it.
(50:25):
It'll make you feel depressed.
You're in bad company foryourself.
Bad company is the worst thingyou can have around.
If you lean toward anxiety ordepression, that includes
yourself.
So there's nothing wrong.
You don't need to feel sorryfor yourself.
You got this.
Don't undermine your ownconfidence.
Dwelling on your negativeexperiences, most of which
didn't really happen, the waythat you think they did,
according to your interpretation, or your drawbacks, which most
(50:48):
people don't even know about, itcan be a self-fulfilling
prophecy, undermining yourconfidence, leading to
stagnation, inaction, worseningdepression, irrelevance.
You're out of the game, you'renot provoking, you're not
pushing things forward, you'renot participating in the culture
, you're not in the agora,you're not in the arena, you're
not even really here, and that,of course, is stressful, anxiety
(51:09):
provoking.
You look to depression forrelief from anxiety, and vice
versa.
So you end up with a lot ofboth At least I do.
I think they're comorbid in alot of cases, and all of this is
just too much going on in yourfucking head and people can hear
it.
They can hear the racket, theycan hear the car alarms, the
fire alarms, the broken glass,the couples screaming at each
other on their fucking Saturdaybeach trip.
(51:32):
It was supposed to be fun.
They went around looking forparking, somebody got torqued on
the alcohol.
People were mad.
The truth is coming out.
We're yelling at each other onwhat's supposed to be the fun
day.
Everybody just desperatelywants to get back to work or
school or prison.
There's too much going on inyour fucking head.
Open the window, let someoxygen into this joint,
(51:52):
otherwise you're going to missopportunities.
You're going to not notice whenpeople are trying to throw
themselves at you.
It's a problem for me.
I love bombing.
It's the only way to getthrough to me.
I don't take people seriously.
It seems like they're into me.
The only thing I respond to isbasically kidnapping.
So I end up in these tenserelationships that can be a
cause for self-pity.
They go awry.
Much like self-pity.
(52:13):
Then be suffocating.
Don't suffocate yourself Again.
If that's your thing, do it onweekends.
Do it safely.
Understand the protocols.
Have somebody else around who'sgoing to leave the room they
might pretend to, if that'ssomething you get off on.
Safety first, last, no, fucksafety.
You want to have fun, and partof that is not smothering
yourself, not killing yourself.
(52:33):
Life is about pleasure.
Life is a pursuit ofself-actualization.
Choking yourself off doesn'thelp, unless you're talking
about masturbation, in whichcase go for it, but otherwise
stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Jerk off, you'll enjoy it.
Relax, smoke and join, chill.
You don't need to feel sorry foryourself.
You're killing this.
You're awesome.
You're a crystal of fractalstardust from beyond good and
(52:56):
evil.
I love you personally.
I love you so much in the mostgrown-up way possible.
You'll never even understand it.
But what you can do is justdon't feel sorry for yourself.
You don't need to.
Other people need that.
Make other people feel sorryfor themselves.
Kick their fucking asses Ifthey get in your face.
I'm amped up.
I'm serious about this.
I don't want you talking shitabout my friend.
You are my friend and you'retalking shit about yourself.
(53:18):
That doesn't fly here.
I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.
Get the fuck out of this town.
Let me hang out with my friendand chill my friend's good
people, the only people startingshit that they aren't willing
to finish.
I'm gonna finish it for them.
Shut the fuck up.
You need to feel sorry foryourself.
You're fucking killing me.
(54:16):
It works best with people whohave to be responsible and keep
it together and look good IRL,because what they need is a
place to fall apart.
I know how to wreck it.
The skills of that are thingsthat you should know, because
you never know when you're goingto need them, where you're
going to be in a situation wherepeople want or need to be
dominated.
(54:36):
Think about it.
Who do you know who's really onthe ball?
Almost nobody.
Nobody really knows whatthey're doing.
Sometimes you do, in that case,bulldoze them.
You're doing them a favor.
People like to be told what todo most of the time.
A lot of them are waiting forit.
Don't keep them waiting.
If you tell them what to do,they will probably do it.
If you believe in yourself andyou believe in your ideas and
(54:59):
you can defend your ideas andyou know what's up and you have
genuine confidence not what youthink it looks like, but what it
is, which is something youdevelop by developing your own
integrity, doming yourself firstyou will have that on standby.
If you need to dominate in asituation, don't ask, tell.
Make the decisions.
(55:20):
If the other person objects,take that into consideration.
You're not just smacking themaround and telling them what to
do, you're helping them get whatthey want.
There's nothing people hateworse than getting what they say
they want rather than what theyreally want, or what they think
they're supposed to want ratherthan what they really want, or
what they think they're supposedto want rather than what they
really want.
You are totalizing theirpsyches like it's your last day
(55:41):
on earth and you just got out ofprison and you have to go back
into prison so you won't be ableto see the apocalypse except
through those little slits inthe rocks that they make prisons
out of.
Skulls Rough.
Sex can save the world.
We all have those tendenciessadism, masochism, dominant
submission that end up poisoningour real lives because we're
(56:03):
not owning them for what theyare, which is sex stuff Nasty,
awesome, amazing.
You like it, like I do.
I don't have to explain this toyou.
We get all of that into thebedrooms and the dungeons and
occasionally an alley or a movietheater during a showing of
something not interesting butnot too depressing.
(56:24):
Unless that's what you like andI don't kink shame, so go for
it.
People are having sex less inAmerica and there's an easy
solution for that.
Start right now.
Figure out how to do it.
You are someone's fetish.
Make yourself available.
I had to learn that the hardway because I tend to be
oblivious.
Love bombing is one of the onlyways to get through to me, and
you don't get the best, mostreliable people that way.
(56:47):
You don't get submissives andmasochists who are at peace with
themselves and know whatthey're doing, because they want
to be smacked around.
You have to initiate that aspart of the deal.
You have to take the initiativeand lead the dance.
When you know what you're doing, and you do that with authority
and love, presence, patience,passion, and you care and you're
(57:09):
there.
They'll be drinking it straightfrom the tap and loving it.
It gives people a chance tofall apart in a discreet, safe,
caring environment where theycan be dirty and smacked around
and used like they know theydeserve and want and need for.
Speaker 3 (57:26):
K-Chunk, Los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchunkradioorg EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes.
Medicated-minutescom.
Levity saves lives.
I am so sorry, I'm out.
I am so sad, I am so sad, I amso sad.
Speaker 1 (59:21):
I am so sad, I am so sad, I am so sad, I am so sad, I
am so sad, I am so sad, I am sosad, I am so sad, I am so sad,
I am so sad, I am so sad, I amso sad, I am so sad, I am so sad
(59:51):
, I am so sad, I am so sad, I amso sad.
Outro Music.
You know, sometimes I think about the way the sun
feels on my skin and it's likemaybe that's all I really need,
Just warmth, you know, not thekind that comes from people they
always want something back, butthe kind that just is Like the
sun doesn't care if I'm here ornot, it just shines, and maybe
that's why I keep moving, keeprunning.
I'm not sure if I'm chasing thewarmth or trying to escape the
(00:20):
shadows.
Anyway, what was I saying?
Oh right, the beach boys withtheir motorcycles.
God, they always smell likegasoline and freedom.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I don't love you.
I don't need you to love me.
I love myself.
It's better, I find, to be highon myself and wrong than down
on myself and right.
It is important to understandone's own weaknesses to the
extent that it makes it easierto toughen up and to relax, not
take it so seriously.
Solve the problem, get thatweakness out of your system and
(01:22):
love yourself.
You know you're the kind ofperson who can do that To love
yourself irrationally,ridiculously, way over the top.
Write love letters to yourself,fall of hyperbole, get on your
own jock and stay there.
Anyone who disrespects yourelish the opportunity to throw
that person overboard, becauseyou're the captain of the ship
(01:44):
and that's because you know whatyou're doing.
You look around.
You see, most people don't knowwhat they're doing.
Most people are so far off fromhaving any idea what they're
doing.
They assume positions of powerthat they're not qualified for
and what you want to do is stepback and see the angles above
the angles, like it's a pooltable, and strategize.
(02:06):
Don't take people at their word.
Don't take things at face value.
Who benefits?
What's the angle here?
Why is this person doing thisthing?
What do they stand to gain?
They could just be a loosecannon.
Don't assume that they knowwhat they're doing.
It's a really excellent chancethat they don't.
There's a difference betweenmalice and incompetence.
(02:27):
There's also a point where theybleed into each other, and
that's where ruthless ice-coldstrategists are so badly needed
in this world.
Who cares if somebody thinksthey need you?
You don't have to worry aboutthe rules.
They're not enforced.
It's a stupid honor system.
(02:48):
The rules are for suckers.
Most people are so beaten downand so afraid and so defined by
their own learned helplessnessthat they just obey the rules,
follow their training, which hasmade them good servants and
slaves and bitches.
You don't have to be like that.
You can see through it.
(03:08):
You can pretend to be like that.
That helps you get inside andget what you want.
You can do anything you want.
This is your life.
These other people aresupporting characters.
This is your story.
You're never going to regretloving yourself too much and
having too much fun, or doingwhat you want to do, how you
(03:30):
want to do it, with whom youwant to do it, when you want to
do it and do it to it.
That's what the world wants andneeds.
Who?
Speaker 1 (03:39):
cares.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
It's about what you want and need.
If it feels good to be powerful, do that.
If it feels good to be smackedaround and dominated, do that.
You can do it on your own time.
You can do it whenever.
Do it.
Let it be and make it big.
This is all you get.
The meek inherit nothing.
This life right here is all youget.
(04:00):
What are you going to do now,bitch?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
K-Chunk, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchunkradioorg EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes.
Medicated-minutescom.
Levity saves lives, outro.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Music.
(04:54):
What do you care what otherpeople think?
Who are you trying to impress?
Why is it anyone other thanyourself?
You slam on the brakes, dodamage to your own car and much
more damage to your self-respectto avoid hitting someone.
They're walking.
You're driving, you got theadvantage, use it.
There's not enough winning inthis life.
(05:14):
And yet, even when you're in aperfect position to knock that
person over physically andcertainly symbolically, does it
even occur to you to do it?
Do you really think cops aregood at solving crimes?
Do you think you'd feel badabout yourself?
Are you afraid you'd feelreally good about yourself?
It's scary to be better thanother people.
(05:35):
You might think we want that,but the further along we get on
that journey, the more we haveto think about.
And if we're thinking aboutstuff because we think other
people are thinking about it,really we can't take their word
for it, even if they say thatsomething concerns them.
Who really knows?
Who knows if they even exist?
What do you care what otherpeople think?
Don't let fear be who you are.
(06:19):
It's part of your reality.
If you're doing anything,that's a risk and a leap of
faith.
If that's going to work out,and you know it's going to work
out, there's a risk and a leapof faith.
If that's gonna work out, andyou know it's gonna work out,
there's no risk and it's notreally worth doing because
you're not going to get anywherethat you haven't already been.
And if you're doing that, ifyou're taking risks and doing
anything that's adding anythingto the mix, you will be scared.
(06:41):
So know that, feel it and don'tlet your feelings get in the
way of doing what you want to do.
Keep in mind much greaterabundance of resources and
pleasure, which is the point oflife.
All organisms know this.
Plants grow toward the sun andthere's pleasure out there for
the getting, as well as money,sex, power, world peace.
(07:02):
I would think it's just thatyou don't see options that you
don't know that you have.
And so they're not reallyoptions, so you have to discover
them.
You have to find the questionsand love those.
We already know the answer is42.
So figure out what the questionis for you that gets there.
Try to cut down on negativityand complaining, or at least
(07:24):
notice when you're doing it.
It's worth it because you'llalso get insight about people
around you that are alsobitching to excess.
And if you can get it down,you'll be surprised at how good
it feels and how much betteryour life gets and how much more
stuff seems to gravitate to youthat you love, and you should
really check it out.
(07:45):
What happens if you can get itclose to zero?
One thing some people do is youput a rubber band around your
wrist and just snap it wheneveryou have a negative thought.
Might be worth trying, whateverit takes to just notice how you
talk to yourself and I'm theking of the inner drill sergeant
with the brutal internalmonologue that sends me into
(08:05):
rumination, death spirals, andif anyone else talked to me that
way, I would get a restrainingorder.
So I really, as a function ofmy survival, I need to pay
attention to that, and it'sinteresting.
You'll be surprised if you payattention to how you're talking
to yourself how things can makesense in a different way if you
can zoom out and go meta andrail ketamine until that's easy
(08:29):
to do.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Don't react.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Make the first move.
The first mover has a lot ofpower.
Find somewhere to make thefirst move.
Find something that you're goodat, that you love, and win that
game.
Life is full of games.
It's full of war, but it's notall one big world series.
You don't have to compete withBarack Obama.
You can win at your own table.
(08:51):
So figure out where that is.
When you do when you havesomething that is worth doing.
Put that right in the middleand let your life revolve around
that for a while.
Be weird, be unbalanced.
Really get into that.
An hour a day for 90 days wouldbe a minimum and you'll be
shocked at how your life startsto express your genius and you
(09:14):
forget that you forgot how to becreative and improvisational
and MacGyver like a little kidand you learn what you already
knew.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Give it a shot.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
The worst thing that can happen is nothing, or you
could go crazy and your lifecould get worse, and then you
could hate me forever.
That's fine, totally fair.
I can take it.
If there's nothing that getsyou pumped like that, pick
something.
Find something that needs to bedone.
There is so much work thatneeds to be done.
It's not all paid, it's notsexy and glamorous necessarily.
There's no excuse for notchipping in.
(09:47):
So find something and make thatyour purpose and then, if it
doesn't work, try something else.
Take care of yourself first.
Do that with integrity,authenticity and the full
awareness that this right here,this life, is all we get.
If we come back, we will not berecognizable to ourselves as
(10:10):
ourselves.
This is the one ride I get asEmerson Dameron, so I'm going to
do right by Emerson first, as aheuristic, sometimes I have to
take care of my peoples, butdon't put other people first by
default because you want them tolike you and care about you.
It has the opposite effect.
If your most important goal inlife is to get us to like you,
(10:35):
that's the only thing we knowabout you, because we don't know
what your real opinions are orwho you are, and you're useless
in a combat scenario, becausewho the hell are you?
Whereas if you let us know andwe dig it, we're down like that,
and if we don't, we were nevergoing to be friends in the long
run.
Anyway, when the truth comes out, which it always does, Don't
(11:00):
allow yourself to get stuck inthe cul-de-sac of blaming other
people for your problems.
It could be that you like tosuffer.
Most people do.
It's useful and interesting,just as a thought experiment, to
say to yourself what if I am incontrol of my experience?
What if I am the auteur of mylife?
(11:20):
What if I'm the only personthat's ever going to be as
invested in this as I am?
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Will.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I still be mad at somebody for not texting me back
in 2018 when I was alone?
Maybe so, but you'll be wastingyour time.
Own 100% of your 50% or 100% ofyour 0.001%.
Look, sometimes it was theother person's fault and you
didn't do anything wrong.
That's tough Psychologically.
(11:46):
It's hard to deal with.
When you're done dirty.
You kind of have to, otherwiseyou're going to get stuck.
Other people are going to bemaking your decisions for you
and it's going to be theassholes in your life that do
that.
Remember that culture is notyour friend.
It can be fun.
It's something to talk about Ifyou're stuck talking about
(12:09):
Netflix instead of your thoughtsand feelings and your ideas
about the universe.
Sure, it's fine to binge watchSecession.
I go back and watch theepisodes again because there's
so much to unpack.
Don't leave it there.
Don't worship celebrities.
Don't live vicariously throughthese stories.
Culture is not your friend.
(12:29):
Create your own roadshow.
Make your own thing, Tell yourown stories.
It's incredibly powerful.
It's godlike.
You don't have to be aprofessional like me or a genius
.
The stories don't have to begood.
But when you start doing that,especially when you start to get
good at it and enjoy it andbecome a fan of your own stories
(12:50):
, you'll never want to go backIf you can't find a purpose.
Find a porpoise If you're notliving with purpose.
There are a lot of porpoisesthat need to be taken care of
and loved as your own family,and that could be your purpose,
even if it turns out to be abust.
You got to hang out withporpoises and have a chill sesh,
(13:14):
and that's its own reward, asfar as I'm concerned.
I'm envious.
You're living right, you'reballing in my book and my book
is correct.
Everyone else's book is garbage.
Try that.
There's no excuse for doingnothing, except when it's time,
when it's time to be alone andshut up, resist distractions.
Then do nothing.
When that's not the case, finda porpoise, Love it till its ego
(13:38):
dissolves and it experiencestrue peace, bliss, freedom and
is at one with the universe, andyou will be the person who made
that happen.
You can never really feel badabout yourself after that Not if
you're being honest withyourself.
The world's full of people.
(13:59):
Most of them are infinitely,fractally complex.
Everyone has a shadow side.
Everyone has imperfections thatoften make them more beautiful
and sometimes make themdestructive in ways that they
don't realize.
Those people can be the mostdangerous.
Some of them you'll really like.
Some of them will really likeyou.
A frustrating amount of the timethey will not be the same
(14:20):
people.
Sometimes you won't like thepeople that are good for you.
You might really like somebodyand really want to be down with
them, and when you hang out withthem you feel like Alice taking
the shrinking mushroom.
Maybe they are cool, maybe youlove this person.
I'm not going to take that awayfrom you, but the world is full
of people.
We don't have time to know mostof them intimately.
When you're young, you thinkyou're going to be down with all
(14:43):
kinds of people and it reallyends up just being a few of them
.
If somebody makes you feelterrible about yourself, that's
not the friend for you, nomatter how cool they are.
You should not let them getaway with making you feel like
you're not Nobody's that cool.
Speaker 6 (15:01):
Darling.
If there's one thing I detest,it's a combination of vulgarity
and ignorance Like imagineactually paying for your vices.
That's for hedge fund managers,neglected middle children,
tourists in Ibiza.
Real sophistication lies inaccepting the absurd abundance
(15:22):
of life and the mundane miraclesit throws your way.
Yeah, so it was that.
I found myself at a galleryopening in Shoreditch.
You know the sort Halfperformance art, half excuse for
trust fund muppets to wearthings they don't understand.
One installation was literallya pile of rubble, with a placard
reading entropy Eh, veryProustian, I'm sure.
(15:43):
The real piece de resistance,though, wasn't the art.
It was Calvin Klein.
Not the man darling, nor hisknickers, though I do have a few
where I keep those sorts ofsouvenirs.
No, this was something even moreintoxicating.
A delightful concoction ofcocaine and ketamine whispered
about in certain circles.
(16:04):
Alternatively, I suppose youcould call it Louis CK, although
that would be a bit grim forsome tastes, including mine.
At any rate, when someonesidled up to me with a
silver-tipped vial and murmuredCalvin Klein, I naturally
assumed it was an invitation toa private after-party at the
groucho.
But no, this was far moreexclusive.
(16:25):
I leaned in, letting thesuggestion hang in the air in
all its lushness, then simplysaid naturally, you see, I'm not
some party girl snorting linesoff a nightclub toilet.
I've been to Berlin, darling.
I've read Walter Benjamin.
I understand that a trulysublime experience requires the
(16:46):
right setting.
And this flat was divine,mid-century modern with just a
whisper of bohaus.
And the host, some ludicrouslyyoung financier, had impeccable
taste in wine, if notnecessarily in companionship.
Now the Calvin Klein, itself anexperience.
The initial rush was like anoverture by Liszt Sweeping,
(17:10):
grandiose, utterlytransformative and ever so
romantic.
My thoughts were electric,crystalline, like I'd been
plugged into the cosmos.
I turned to the man beside me,an intense, brooding sort with
cheekbones that could slice upyour soul like a ham, and
declared you, my dear, are theraison d'etre of this soiree.
(17:32):
He blinked at me, clearlyoverwhelmed, and then, oh then,
the ketamine arrived.
Everything slowed to adreamlike waltz.
It felt like stepping into aMagritte painting Surreal,
seductive, with a faint air ofmenace.
At one point, I'm certain Iheld a Socratic debate with a
(17:53):
rhododendron.
Its arguments were surprisinglycompelling.
At any rate, I found myself inthe host's private library, and
I used the terms found myselfand library quite loosely.
There, amidst the literarydetritus, was Stefan Tall wiry,
wearing black turtleneck chic.
(18:14):
He looked like he'd beenplucked straight out of a
Goddard film one of the lesserones, you, he said with this
delightfully absurd gravitas.
Speaker 5 (18:26):
You, exquisite indigo child sent from the land beyond
good and evil, you, my dear,are precisely as prophesied.
Speaker 6 (18:38):
Now, I don't usually humour that sort of hyperbolic
folderol, but I thought why notindulge him?
It's what Cleopatra would do,so allowed myself to be adorned
in a leather collar.
He read poetry, something aboutconstellations and submission.
Might have been something hewrote himself.
Stefan had the air of someonewho's deeply proud of his
(19:00):
unpublished manuscripts andconvinced the world doesn't
deserve them, except for me, ofcourse.
And then, darling, it happened.
Stefan, with his broodingcheekbones and nouveau vague
intensity, transformed thisoutlandish chamber into a set
piece worthy of Bunyan.
The room was bathed in violetlight, the walls adorned with
shimmering tapestries depictingconstellations and celestial
(19:24):
body.
It was all too strange to betacky, helena.
He intoned, as though invokingan ancient spell.
The great circle can now becompleted.
With that, he affixed a leash tothe leather collar around my
neck and gave it a slight pull,which I found both grounding and
(19:45):
exhilarating.
Tonight, you surrender yourlight to me he said as he tried
to tie my wrists together with asilk scarf that smelled faintly
of sandalwood and ego.
It was also absurdly theatricalthat I half expected a Greek
chorus to materialise and scoldus for our hubris.
But let me tell you, darling,for those fleeting moments, I
(20:09):
was lost in it, truly,ecstatically lost.
The Calvin Klein swirling in myveins, the light spinning like
Van Gogh's stars, stefanwhispering what I can only
describe as metaphysicalnonsense about my energy.
Fueling the cosmic balance.
It's a horribly thoughtlessthing to mix metaphors around
(20:30):
someone with synesthesia who isalso on ketamine, which perhaps
should have been a red flag Atany rate.
Ensconced as I was in thatmoment, I let go completely.
I surrendered body and mind tothe sheer decadence of it.
I was no longer Helena, theicon, the muse, the intellectual
, the woman who never pays forher drugs.
(20:51):
I was a celestial body orbitingStefan's gravitational pull, I
thought.
Finally, someone who gets it,someone who understands how to
truly dominate the sun and moonof my ego and bring it all
together at last.
Oh, I can feel it now, so close, just about to happen.
(21:11):
But then, like all greattragedies, it fell apart.
Stefan paused mid-ritual handon my collar eyes, wild and
whispered.
Do you feel it?
Eternity is rejecting us?
Rejecting us, darling.
He said this as though we werephysicists conducting a doomed
(21:33):
experiment and not having a shagin the back alleys of his
neighborhood of make-believe.
I blinked, trying to decipherif this was part of his dom-act
or an actual psychotic break.
Sometimes it's hard to knowwhere the line is.
Yeah, not in this case.
It was the latter.
He collapsed onto the floorclutching his chest, like some
melodramatic protagonist in aChekhov play.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
I can't contain it.
The orgone energy it's too muchthe Orgone energy.
Speaker 6 (22:02):
It's too much.
And just like that, stefan, thegreat new age goth dom of
Shoreditch, had an emotionalbreakdown at my feet, muttering
solipsistic nonsense aboutcosmic imbalance and the
futility of human connection.
He looked up at me, tearsstreaming down his face, and
whimpered I failed you.
(22:24):
I peered down at him utterlydumbfounded.
My ecstasy evaporated, replacedby the crushing disappointment
of a performance cut short.
Stefan, I said suddenly, cooland dry as a martini, if you're
going to claim to be a vectorfor a cosmic prophecy, the least
you can do is keep it togetherfor five minutes.
(22:45):
He babbled some excuse,disguised as an explanation, but
I was already undoing the silkscarf.
The collar was harder to figureout, but he readily handed me
the other end of the leash.
The violet light suddenly feltgarish, the constellations on
the walls more juvenile thansurreal.
My only solace was that no oneelse had witnessed this debacle.
(23:07):
I left him there, crumpled inhis cosmic celestial despair,
and returned to the party likenothing had happened.
The DJ had switched tostation-to-station era Bowie and
someone was passing aroundglasses of champagne so we could
toast to something or other.
So was it transcendent?
Almost?
Was it disappointing?
Absolutely, but embarrassing?
(23:29):
Oh no, darling, I'm neverembarrassed.
Stefan, on the other hand, isprobably still weeping into his
velvet drapes expecting someother bright young thing to
resemble him.
I suppose some people justcan't handle the seductive pull
of my presence.
What a burden it must be torequire that much attention.
But isn't it marvelous, thethings that gravitate to us when
(23:51):
we're willing to take the oddinterpersonal risk now and again
.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Your mission is pure masculine magnetism.
Embrace the virility withinHeart, mind and mojo the other
dark triad.
You're like a badger, a weedwhacker and a wizard teamed up.
Love yourself violently.
Forget.
(24:21):
You forgot how to grab yourcock when you were born.
The doctor died from envy.
So experience passion withoutcompromise, through the force of
pure masculine magnetism.
Knock down buildings with yourcock.
Be so confident you get whatyou want just by looking at it
or thinking about it.
Be in the moment which, likethe women in your life, is
(24:43):
densely packed.
Know what you're doing.
Do unto others.
Indulge in sensual sovereignty.
Practice the art of seduction.
Experience in their fullsplendor true pleasures of
manhood.
Don't get too serious.
Love doesn't matter.
Sex doesn't matter.
What matters is f***ing a**.
Your libido prints its owncurrency.
(25:04):
Your ex-lovers are permanentlyf***ed.
Reclaim your dominion in thebedroom.
It should be illegal to swing af*** like you do without a
license.
Your home is your palace.
Your bedroom is yourinterrogation chamber.
F*** competitively, statewideat least.
Own your else.
Cheat on your property taxes.
Elevate your intimacy game.
(25:24):
Keep your power.
Win the relationship.
Win without competing.
Play the infinite off game.
Play this shit like pinballmachines with the force of your
pure masculine magnetism.
Celebrate your manhood.
Be hot, be cool.
Yup hurricane.
Their whimpers, moans and theiryour manhood.
Be hot, be cool, be a hurricane.
Let her whimpers, moans andeggs speak for you.
(25:46):
It's the best testimonial.
Make her come like Crackatella.
Set off metal detectors, erasehard drives with your
masculinity.
Embrace your true seductivenature.
Command the world with yourmasculinity.
Unleash your intimate potential.
Embrace the pleasures ofmanhood.
Experience the ultimate unionof body and soul.
Celebrate the power of yoursexual vitality.
Forge your path as a fearlessman.
(26:08):
You embrace a wild side ofmanhood.
Break the chains of socialexpectations.
Dare to be an unconventionalman, fueled by raw power,
untamed virility, driven by theforce of masculine magnetism.
I'm a touch-hungry bastard.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I've always been.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
It's my love language , it's the one I like, because I
want to be touched in afriendly way and also in a
sexual way.
If I have high status, peoplewill touch me, or they'll want
to and they'll ask and I'll letthem, because I'm a touch-hungry
bastard, as I mentioned.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Absolutely never give up your freedom.
Ever, for any reason.
Security is a lie.
Freedom is the only thingthat's true.
Make sure that you go throughlife cool, as an unencumbered
cucumber, not dealing withanybody that wants to bring you
(27:24):
down, not caring what anybodythinks of you, because that's
giving control to label you topeople who don't know what
they're doing.
It's scary to have emotions.
It's a work of a lifetime toknow how to deal with them, to
figure out how to accept andfeel your emotion.
The expression of emotion isthat emotion's death knell.
However, in order to getthrough the day, you have to get
(27:47):
into practice of not onlyacknowledging your emotions but
managing them, not peeping themout on other folks.
Being vulnerable in a situationwhere you're going to have to do
that work in real time, underthe opposition and judgment of
someone else who may be quitechildlike.
That's what you're committingto when you commit.
Maybe you don't want to committo that, maybe you don't want to
settle.
You've got a commitment.
(28:07):
Really, who's basicallysettling?
You are acknowledging that thisis as good as it gets.
No point in going any further.
Made it to Chicago and it's gotto be as good as it gets.
There's no place that's goingto compete with this.
No paradise of pouring sunshineand delicious Mexican food on
the other side of thosemountains you can see in the
(28:28):
distance, because there's nopollution.
Let's make some.
Let's build a city right here,because let's do as good as it
gets, let's settle, let's committo make the most of this
Chicago opportunity.
You don't know that you'resettling.
You just think, okay, it's notgoing to get any better than
this.
I have to plant my flag in thesoil.
You'll never know whether itgets better or not.
You'll probably settle and keepdoubling down on settling and
(28:51):
that flag will go deeper in theground.
You might lose all your friends.
That's something that doesn'tget talked about a whole lot.
You're going to be spendingtime maintaining the
relationship, moving up all theexpectations that are now laid
upon you, raising a child,paying off your mortgage, making
sure you keep this person happyin ways that you anticipate and
(29:12):
ways that you don't.
You aren't always told.
You're going to have a lot ofresponsibility.
It's time-consuming, it'senergy-consuming, it sucks you
dry.
You don't really have time tohave friends anymore, which is
too bad because you need asocial network.
As you get deeper into thecommitment, you compromise on
the foundations of a good lifethat you're going to need when
(29:32):
things go haywire or south oroff the rails or otherwise, to
hell, which could easily happen.
When you discover that maybeyou never were quite as good a
match with this individual asyou thought that you might be,
as the assumptions and themisconceptions and the illusions
that helped you fall in loveand helped you make this
(29:54):
commitment start to dissolve andfall away, you might realize
you never really knew thisperson.
They left out a lot of crucialinformation.
They wanted you to like them,they wanted to get you and now
they got you.
So the mask is going to slipand you might discover things
that you love that you neverloved before.
You might also discover a lotof things you hate that
(30:17):
undermine your trust.
Once that's gone, it really isdead the whole thing, and once
the sex gets bad, forget it.
You need to get out of there.
Most people aren't gonna workwith you to improve that
situation.
They don't even like having sexwith you anymore.
There's so many signs it's notworth saving and it's no longer
a problem because once you'recommitted, it's easier to just
(30:38):
keep recommitting, even if youknow that you're missing out on
the life, that you really want,the career you could have had.
You don't think that reallyyou're not willing to pursue
your dangerous dreams becauseyou decided to keep doubling
down on this commitment.
Instead, the opportunity costof that is anything else you'd
(30:59):
want to do with your life.
The desire for security alwayscomes from pain, it comes from
fear.
It comes from being hurt in thepast, not wanting to get hurt
that way again.
So much of life'sridiculousness comes from the
fear of death.
Fear of repeating the samewounds, the compulsion to fight
the last battle.
That's why we have to take ourshoes off at the airport.
(31:20):
One dude decided to do that.
He didn't even accomplishanything, but we're not going to
let the exact same thing happenagain.
We're not going to get hurt inthe same way.
We're going to Rube Goldbergifyour lives to keep that from
happening.
We're going to get withsomebody else that does the same
thing.
We don't even know where thosebehaviors come from at this
point.
They don't either.
(31:40):
It takes years of therapy toget to the bottom of this.
It takes years of meditation toget around it.
Of course we're not going to dothose things because you don't
know who we are.
And it is better that way,because now we can be automatons
, we can be robots, we can benon-playable characters in
service to this.
What is it, this relationshipthing?
(32:01):
It's supposedly greater thanthe sum of its two parts.
Once the end comes, which itwill you'll either deny it and
try to stick it out and just letbetrayals land up.
Double lies will get morecomplicated, the lies will be on
top of lies.
Everyone will be exhausted fromlying all the time and the
deception, betrayal, overt andcovert.
Or you could just end it lies.
(32:21):
Everyone will be exhausted fromlying all the time and the
deception, betrayal, overt andcovert.
Or you could just end it, whichis painful and expensive.
I say this as a veteran of thereservoir dogs of divorces.
This is going to screw me upfor the rest of my life.
My life could be diminished asa result of that experience and
I'm telling you just don't.
Don't get in a situation whereyou have to deny that the
(32:42):
problem exists, because I won'tbe the first to say that the
divorce is better than thealternative, which would have
been sticking out this intervalrelationship, keeping the BS
going.
Just don't ever get in arelationship to begin with.
Don't give your life away to achild you don't even know that
you can't trust, that you don'thave enough information.
(33:03):
Nobody has enough informationabout anyone else to really
trust each other.
We'll discover at the end ofour lives what real oneness is
all about Interdependence, thedisillusion of the ego and the
porousness of our borders.
It'll all make sense.
It's not going to until then.
When it does, we're not goingto be able to get married or
(33:25):
procreate or sign contractsenslaving us to banks.
Don't do those things now.
That's what I'm saying.
You'll get shut down by yourpartner.
You'll get turned down andinsulted.
Jack is what's an insultwithout a nice injury on top of
it?
They'll cheat on you.
Of course they will.
Adults have sex, not youbecause you don't think that
(33:47):
you're attractive.
If you thought that you wereattractive even if you weren't,
you'd probably get some.
But as it stands, you're goingto be at home while your partner
is out there having a greattime, making memories that they
can think back on wheneverything falls apart, during
the breakup or divorce that'scoming.
They'll also have those peoplerooting for them.
(34:08):
You won't have those.
Your resentment and bitternesswill drive everyone away.
You'll never really knowexactly the nature of what
happened, how it fell apart sobadly.
You won't be able to realizewhen abuse is going on.
As anyone is diagnosable.
Almost every relationship isabusive.
That's the thing about being atwo-person cult, and it's not
(34:29):
intentional.
Most of the time, people arejust awful garbage and they
can't communicate.
Misunderstandings stack on topof conflicts, on top of lies and
half-lies and white lies on topof lies and half-lies and white
lies, inaccuracies, opinionssubstituted for facts,
miscommunication, mismatchedexpectations, including
(34:50):
expectations.
You were not told aboutfinancial conflicts.
You're going to find out howgood you are with money?
Probably not in theory.
Then, though, the intimacy willbreak down.
The resentment will go up asthe intimacy goes down, as the
trust goes down, and now you'vegot kids involved.
Nobody trusts each other.
You're in hell that you createdon Earth.
Get out beforehand.
(35:11):
Don't do this.
Don't get in a relationship.
It's not worth it.
Freedom is the only thing thatmatters.
Be free, free yourself Now.
Do it.
This is the time.
Do it now, or you'll forgetabout it, and then you'll be a
slave before you know what'shappening.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
That brings us to the topic of sex.
Throwing the D is fun for awhile, getting them giving to
people who are very appreciativebecause they're in love with me
.
They'll take it in holes theydidn't even know they had.
But after a while sex gets old.
Anyone who's had a lot of ithas experienced this.
And sometimes that meansgetting more perverted,
(35:51):
escalating the roughness or thevariety, meaning some stuff is
not fit for polite conversation.
It could also mean gettingtotal devotion.
Let's do this exuberantcelebration of human creativity
Also.
You will come to see sucking itas your reward for your full
devotion to me, which meansrunning errands, of course,
(36:13):
washing my car scantily clad andpretty much anything I want.
So it's just pure degradation,because I enjoy that.
That helps me love myself andlove myself first and best, and
that helps the world get what itneeds, because the world needs
for me to get what I want.
I get a lot of sex.
(36:42):
It's obscene, it's ridiculous.
I'm banging it out in churches,in zoos, with humans, women,
not the animals.
I don't swing that way,although what I've discovered is
when you have as much sex as Ido, you're always looking for
new ways to ramp up the novelty.
That's the life I lead.
That's normal for me.
It wasn't always.
(37:02):
I was much like you.
If you're here at I Get Sex andso Can you you're probably not
getting as much sex as you want,or you're trying to take it up
a notch because it's never quiteenough, or you're a
well-established player whoknows the life is practice of
lifelong learning.
You're a player who does thework, and I salute you.
There was a time when I did nothave the sexual access
(37:26):
abundance that I enjoy right now.
Only through a lot of trialerror, hard work, some
embarrassment and a lot ofreally good times did I get to
where I am now, and I'm going toshow you how to cut out
everything except the good timesand the sizzling hot, steamy,
sloppy, messy sex that you'regoing to have when you're
(37:47):
getting sex, like I do, which iswhat you can expect from this
seminar.
Getting sex is important ifyou're a human.
If you're a man, you thinkabout sex many times a day.
If you're a woman, it's morethan that.
We want sex, we need it, it'sour calling.
Everything is sex.
Power is sex.
All the ships that have sailedacross the ocean, all the wars
(38:10):
fought and all the great worksof art created, it was all about
sex.
Somebody was horny.
It is the force of life itself.
Sex is God and you should beproud of wanting sex.
You should get all of the sexthat you want with the caliber
of partners that you want, andit could be different from what
(38:30):
I'm into.
Examine your own beliefs,experiences and your real
desires.
What are the things that areturn-ons for you that you
wouldn't necessarily go aroundtalking about?
There's a book called EverybodyLies, a study of anonymized
Google results.
You know what A lot of men areinto overweight women and other
(38:51):
women that are not ones that areordained to be into, and that's
all fine and good.
If you lead with that, you willget laid more Because you'll
know what you want, which willdrive you to go get it, and you
will do so with fearlessconfidence, doing whatever the
hell you want, staying out ofother people's business,
(39:12):
expecting them to stay out ofyours, and that comes from
self-inquiry, from awareness ofself, from awareness of others
or embodied presence, and thatcomes through having a lot of
sex mindfully, and we'll getinto how you can get that stone
rolling.
First, you have to cut throughlimiting beliefs Beliefs about
(39:34):
yourself, about sex, aboutpeople that hold you back.
What kind of crap did you pickup from your parents, religious
organizations, rejections thatyou faced?
It was all wrong.
Sex is good, it's fun.
It can be sublime, ecstatic,when carried out between people
who know what's up and dig eachother on the same wavelength
(39:56):
there or they're on verydifferent wavelengths and
savoring the joys of hate sex,which I thoroughly recommend.
At least once or twice You'vegot to experience that and then
you can bring some of that intothe rest of your sex life.
You can throw down like you'rethrowing a temper tantrum and do
it as though you're filled withhate in your heart and your
(40:17):
groin, and they'll probably getinto it Because that feels good.
Life is rough.
We need catharsis.
Sometimes we need to take abeating to keep on eating and
repeating the routines that wedo every day.
Life can be a drudgery, but it'sfun when there's a lot of sex
and you cut through all thoselimiting beliefs.
Start with one.
Start with you're notsufficiently good looking.
(40:40):
That's not true.
Everyone is somebody's type.
You haven't found the rightaudience yet.
We're going to work on that.
We're going to get you amakeover and we're going to get
you on the scene where you wantto be and belong Lines on a
graph intersecting.
We're going to find that foryou.
We're going to help you setgoals and a vision, to have a
very clear notion of the sexthat you want, the partner you
(41:01):
want, what you want out of sexand life and all the sex that
you're going to be getting,which is going to be a
substantial amount.
You know exactly what you get.
It makes it a lot easier to getit.
It takes out so much of theguesswork and trial and error
and then, when you've got thatdown, you can go try other
things and things you don't evenknow if you like to see.
Maybe that's a fetish that youdidn't know about.
(41:23):
You could develop positivehabits of getting out there and
getting in the game, gettingexcited, getting sexual, leading
with your sexuality, a fearlesshuman being who's happy to be
here, fully embodied, fullypresent and ready to get it on
at a moment's notice.
And that's the mindset ofresilience, of self-confidence,
(41:44):
taking failure quote-unquotefailure as feedback and, most
importantly, being horny foryourself desperately so.
It's sickening.
You can manage your emotions,whether it's the catching of
feelings, limerence, romantictendencies, all of that Getting
fixated on one person who mightnot like you back and doesn't
(42:06):
need or deserve that much power.
Either way, you can get ahandle on those feelings as well
as any impediments to fullself-confidence that you might
experience, like takingrejection as a referendum on you
as a person.
That person doesn't even knowyou, not like you know yourself,
and you are going to knowyourself good and damned well
when you make a daily practiceof meditation, because that's
(42:29):
going to kill your feelings deador it's going to give you the
power to do that.
You can dominate your feelings.
They will know not to mess withyou because you mean business
and that means the close ofbusiness potentially for them if
they get on your bad side.
So watch it.
Feelings Don't get messy allover the place.
It's my party and you're notgoing to cry if I don't want you
(42:50):
to Practice self-compassion.
Feelings are not wrong.
Your feelings are alwayscorrect, as are everyone else's.
You just have to feel them.
Keep your own counsel.
Know that you know what's up.
Get a workout from all the sexthat you're getting.
Release those feel-good brainchemicals to make all of this a
lot easier.
To squeeze out the wheels andbreeze out the system and be the
(43:12):
best lover that you ever hadfor yourself.
Learn how to masturbate.
It's a spiritual practice.
Learn everything that you wantthe most.
Let yourself have it.
Maybe tease yourself a littlebit, a little fun cat and mouse
action, keep things spicy.
But then you're the only onethat really knows all that and
(43:33):
you're going to keep it foryourself, so the rest of
humanity can rot until it'stheir time.
Develop positive relationshipsand always grateful to everyone
ready to get down and have sexwhen the time comes If you're
into it and they're into it, whynot?
Life is for living.
The shadows draw long.
The night is young, but oh wait, the shadows were long and now
(43:55):
the night is young, but thenight won't last forever, so
start banging it out post hastethrough those positive
relationships you develop,taking action, moving it forward
, getting out there, gettingassertive, making plans, being
the one who plans and invitespeople into your world, into
your life, which is a party, andit doesn't matter if they show
(44:16):
up or not.
The party rages on either, andyou're willing to almost be a
pest, to err on the side of toomuch boldness, which is also the
way that you're going to getall this wild, wet, happy sex.
Err on the side of a little bittoo much confidence.
It's better to be high onyourself and wrong than down on
yourself and right and then moveit forward like a bowling ball
(44:36):
headed down the alley for astrike towards sex.
Always be putting the game inthe mix.
Let it be known that you havesexual intentions and if a
person you're interested in isnot reciprocating, don't invest
too much time.
It's nothing personal, but justkeep it moving.
When you're macking, like youare, people are going to be into
it and you want to meet thosepeople while there's time on the
(44:57):
clock, by taking action andovercoming setbacks.
Always tell the truth.
It's a waste to lie.
You don't need to lie.
If you tell the truth, theworld is your memory.
The underwear drops when youcome in the room telling your
ruthless, unapologetic, fiery,volcanic, explosive, ecstatic,
exuberant, sublime, ethereal,melancholy, furious, raging,
(45:23):
tsunami-ish truth Deep from thebottom of your soul and you tell
it out, and you yell it out,grabbing your crunch, like you
always do about this time.
That's how you deal withsetbacks.
As I mentioned before, I getsex.
I get laid a lot, and now youare en route to having similar
experiences.
Just remember nobody gets laidalone.
I'd like to thank all of mymentors in the sex game, in the
(45:47):
dating game, my fashionconsultants, people that put me
on and hipped me to what was hapon scenes that I wanted to get
involved in.
Thank you to all of you andyou're welcome to all of you, my
students.
I hope you stick around andcontinue to sit at the feet of
the master.
Having followers.
You get a lot of sex.
If you're successful in anyfield, there's sex that comes
(46:10):
with that.
There are groupies involved.
So go out, succeed.
You can do this.
You're already a success.
You're getting laid right now.
You're getting the slow, deep,wet, loving best hummer of your
life.
It's already happening.
Believe it.
This is life, this is your life.
Now Go out, get laid, do it.
So self-pity, no one isinnocent.
(47:15):
We all feel innocent.
We all feel sorry for ourselves.
We feel sorry for ourselves,for feeling sorry for ourselves,
for the guilt we feel thatcomes with that.
It's a natural way to think ofthings.
We see things from our ownperspective, so when we get hurt
, we're going to feel bad forthat person, because we are the
main character.
However, it can be really badfor you if it's indulged into
excess.
It can lead to a sense oflearned helplessness,
(47:36):
helplessness you taught yourself, which can prevent you from
shaking it off getting with thegame in the program and getting
things done right now to improvethings, and then you'll just
feel more sorry for yourselfbecause you really are screwing
it up, you're missing youropportunities and you've got a
negative outlook.
I'm a pessimist.
I think a little bit ofnegativity is good for us.
(47:57):
I don't think you have to be anoptimist to get shit done.
I think you have tooccasionally do stuff that
doesn't feel right.
If you feel sorry for yourselfand develop a pervasively
negative outlook, that'll getharder to do.
If you get in a cul-de-sac ofcrybaby-ishness, you might
isolate yourself.
Maybe people isolate yourself.
Maybe people isolate you.
They don't want to hang outwith you or you don't think that
(48:17):
they do, because you feel badabout yourself.
You want to give yourselfcomfort but it's not really
happening because you don'treally know how to do that.
There are itches you can'treally scratch yourself and we
are who we are through the eyesof others.
You gotta get with other peopleand I'm an introvert.
That's hard to do, but I do itanyway because isolating myself
will shorten my life, possiblydramatically, because I could
(48:38):
flip out and kill myself.
I've come close before.
Lack of resilience is a problemwhen I have more pain than I
have coping resources for it.
The only way to really addressthat is to get out and get with
the people.
Self-pity makes it hard to dothat because I don't trust
people.
I feel like a leper.
I feel scrawny and sickly.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
No, let other people decide.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
Let the critics decide.
Am I some kind of performanceartist?
Am I a genius?
Use that word in connection tome.
If I do it myself, it doesn'treally mean anything.
What do I know?
You got to give other people achance to judge you.
Don't make assumptions aboutwhat kind of negative stuff
they're going to think about you.
That's victimizing yourself.
It comes from and creates a loop, the lack of resilience, the
(49:18):
strength to get back up becauseyou're sucking yourself dry but
seeing yourself as a victim.
You don't interpret yourself assomebody that can handle stuff.
If you read Psycho-Cybernetics,that's how you create yourself.
You are your own great work ofart, and self-pity will make you
feel like not even a martyr,maybe a wannabe martyr, maybe a
failed martyr, denizen of slavemorality in the Nietzschean
(49:42):
sense.
Don't do it, unless you want to.
If you get off on it, fine, dothat on weekends or in the
evenings.
Otherwise it will affect yourrelationships.
It'll affect you as a lover, acitizen, a volunteer, a friend
with benefits.
A one-night stand, a ziplessfuck All that will be impacted
because you'll have troublebuilding relationships, even
(50:03):
fleeting ones, with somebodywho's trying to flirt with you
in the elevator.
You don't even know, because bynow you're all the way into
full tilt black hole, depression, the D-hole.
Prolonged self-pity can get youto the point where, if you
already have depression, you'reexacerbating it, pouring
gasoline on the black flamefeeding the black dog, and if
you don't have it, you might geta taste of it.
(50:25):
It'll make you feel depressed.
You're in bad company foryourself.
Bad company is the worst thingyou can have around.
If you lean toward anxiety ordepression, that includes
yourself.
So there's nothing wrong.
You don't need to feel sorryfor yourself.
You got this.
Don't undermine your ownconfidence.
Dwelling on your negativeexperiences, most of which
didn't really happen, the waythat you think they did,
according to your interpretation, or your drawbacks, which most
(50:48):
people don't even know about, itcan be a self-fulfilling
prophecy, undermining yourconfidence, leading to
stagnation, inaction, worseningdepression, irrelevance.
You're out of the game, you'renot provoking, you're not
pushing things forward, you'renot participating in the culture
, you're not in the agora,you're not in the arena, you're
not even really here, and that,of course, is stressful, anxiety
(51:09):
provoking.
You look to depression forrelief from anxiety, and vice
versa.
So you end up with a lot ofboth At least I do.
I think they're comorbid in alot of cases, and all of this is
just too much going on in yourfucking head and people can hear
it.
They can hear the racket, theycan hear the car alarms, the
fire alarms, the broken glass,the couples screaming at each
other on their fucking Saturdaybeach trip.
(51:32):
It was supposed to be fun.
They went around looking forparking, somebody got torqued on
the alcohol.
People were mad.
The truth is coming out.
We're yelling at each other onwhat's supposed to be the fun
day.
Everybody just desperatelywants to get back to work or
school or prison.
There's too much going on inyour fucking head.
Open the window, let someoxygen into this joint,
(51:52):
otherwise you're going to missopportunities.
You're going to not notice whenpeople are trying to throw
themselves at you.
It's a problem for me.
I love bombing.
It's the only way to getthrough to me.
I don't take people seriously.
It seems like they're into me.
The only thing I respond to isbasically kidnapping.
So I end up in these tenserelationships that can be a
cause for self-pity.
They go awry.
Much like self-pity.
(52:13):
Then be suffocating.
Don't suffocate yourself Again.
If that's your thing, do it onweekends.
Do it safely.
Understand the protocols.
Have somebody else around who'sgoing to leave the room they
might pretend to, if that'ssomething you get off on.
Safety first, last, no, fucksafety.
You want to have fun, and partof that is not smothering
yourself, not killing yourself.
(52:33):
Life is about pleasure.
Life is a pursuit ofself-actualization.
Choking yourself off doesn'thelp, unless you're talking
about masturbation, in whichcase go for it, but otherwise
stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Jerk off, you'll enjoy it.
Relax, smoke and join, chill.
You don't need to feel sorry foryourself.
You're killing this.
You're awesome.
You're a crystal of fractalstardust from beyond good and
(52:56):
evil.
I love you personally.
I love you so much in the mostgrown-up way possible.
You'll never even understand it.
But what you can do is justdon't feel sorry for yourself.
You don't need to.
Other people need that.
Make other people feel sorryfor themselves.
Kick their fucking asses Ifthey get in your face.
I'm amped up.
I'm serious about this.
I don't want you talking shitabout my friend.
You are my friend and you'retalking shit about yourself.
(53:18):
That doesn't fly here.
I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.
Get the fuck out of this town.
Let me hang out with my friendand chill my friend's good
people, the only people startingshit that they aren't willing
to finish.
I'm gonna finish it for them.
Shut the fuck up.
You need to feel sorry foryourself.
You're fucking killing me.
(54:16):
It works best with people whohave to be responsible and keep
it together and look good IRL,because what they need is a
place to fall apart.
I know how to wreck it.
The skills of that are thingsthat you should know, because
you never know when you're goingto need them, where you're
going to be in a situation wherepeople want or need to be
dominated.
(54:36):
Think about it.
Who do you know who's really onthe ball?
Almost nobody.
Nobody really knows whatthey're doing.
Sometimes you do, in that case,bulldoze them.
You're doing them a favor.
People like to be told what todo most of the time.
A lot of them are waiting forit.
Don't keep them waiting.
If you tell them what to do,they will probably do it.
If you believe in yourself andyou believe in your ideas and
(54:59):
you can defend your ideas andyou know what's up and you have
genuine confidence not what youthink it looks like, but what it
is, which is something youdevelop by developing your own
integrity, doming yourself firstyou will have that on standby.
If you need to dominate in asituation, don't ask, tell.
Make the decisions.
(55:20):
If the other person objects,take that into consideration.
You're not just smacking themaround and telling them what to
do, you're helping them get whatthey want.
There's nothing people hateworse than getting what they say
they want rather than what theyreally want, or what they think
they're supposed to want ratherthan what they really want, or
what they think they're supposedto want rather than what they
really want.
You are totalizing theirpsyches like it's your last day
(55:41):
on earth and you just got out ofprison and you have to go back
into prison so you won't be ableto see the apocalypse except
through those little slits inthe rocks that they make prisons
out of.
Skulls Rough.
Sex can save the world.
We all have those tendenciessadism, masochism, dominant
submission that end up poisoningour real lives because we're
(56:03):
not owning them for what theyare, which is sex stuff Nasty,
awesome, amazing.
You like it, like I do.
I don't have to explain this toyou.
We get all of that into thebedrooms and the dungeons and
occasionally an alley or a movietheater during a showing of
something not interesting butnot too depressing.
(56:24):
Unless that's what you like andI don't kink shame, so go for
it.
People are having sex less inAmerica and there's an easy
solution for that.
Start right now.
Figure out how to do it.
You are someone's fetish.
Make yourself available.
I had to learn that the hardway because I tend to be
oblivious.
Love bombing is one of the onlyways to get through to me, and
you don't get the best, mostreliable people that way.
(56:47):
You don't get submissives andmasochists who are at peace with
themselves and know whatthey're doing, because they want
to be smacked around.
You have to initiate that aspart of the deal.
You have to take the initiativeand lead the dance.
When you know what you're doing, and you do that with authority
and love, presence, patience,passion, and you care and you're
(57:09):
there.
They'll be drinking it straightfrom the tap and loving it.
It gives people a chance tofall apart in a discreet, safe,
caring environment where theycan be dirty and smacked around
and used like they know theydeserve and want and need for.
Speaker 3 (57:26):
K-Chunk, Los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchunkradioorg EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes.
Medicated-minutescom.
Levity saves lives.
I am so sorry, I'm out.
I am so sad, I am so sad, I amso sad.
Speaker 1 (59:21):
I am so sad, I am so sad, I am so sad, I am so sad, I
am so sad, I am so sad, I am sosad, I am so sad, I am so sad,
I am so sad, I am so sad, I amso sad, I am so sad, I am so sad
(59:51):
, I am so sad, I am so sad, I amso sad.
Outro Music.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.