Vulnerability Looks Good on You

"Vulnerability Looks Good on You" is from Emerson Dameron's Sophistication Nation. Get it. It certainly gets you.

Vulnerability opens us to perceiving more of reality beyond the mere three percent our survival-focused brains typically process. Despite knowing the risks, maintaining an open mind to life's experiences allows us to tune in to what most people miss.

• Reality is described as a "controlled hallucination" where we're designed to survive rather than thrive 
• The courage to maintain vulnerability despite past hurts creates deeper perception
• Comparing rumination to playing a song on a jukebox—having the thought isn't suffering, but repeating the story about it is
• Finding joy in creative pursuits by putting yourself "first and last" during dedicated art time
• Dreams offering valuable insights rather than just "white noise"
• The surprising discovery of becoming a fan of your artistic expression
• Sunday evening plans as a remedy for "Sunday scaries"

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:18):
you are too cute and you know you're too cute and
it's borderline, insufferable.
I don't think you know thatyou're gorgeous.
I know people tell you that youknow that on too cute and it's
borderline, insufferable.
I don't think you know thatyou're gorgeous.
I know people tell you that.
You know that on some level,but I don't think you fully
internalized it, owned it, andI'm not gonna rest until that
happens.
When I first saw you, it's likeyou had a flashing pink arrow
over your head this one.

(00:38):
That is not always good.
Sometimes it's been really bad.
I always good.
Sometimes it's been really bad.
I've crapped out hard, but notin this case.
Striking is not the word.
That's a euphemism for lynchianand weird in a lot of cases,
and that's not you at all, but Idon't know exactly how I would
describe it.
Dead, sexy, sexy as hell, thewhole gestalt.

(00:59):
You should always wear shortsand skirts.
I know it's inconvenient, butthat's a sacrifice you have to
make.
You get goosebumps in thewinter and it's really sexy.
That vulnerability looks goodon you.
I know that.
I know that it's risky.
I know that you're courageousand I know that you've been hurt
, but I know that you maintainthat vulnerability, that certain

(01:20):
level of exposure because youknow there is so much more to
life and you want to be here forit.
You're not going to miss out.
You're going to be open to it.
You're going to be open all thetime, even though that's risky,
and you know that it is.
You also know intuitively thatwe only perceive about three
percent of what's going on.
Reality is a controlledhallucination.

(01:40):
We're designed to survive, notthrive, so our brains take in
the stuff that they think isgoing to help us survive, and we
miss out on a lot of it.
You miss out on less than most.
Much of your life is abouttuning in.
You can be a little obsessiveabout it.
You have certain go-to wordsand phrases.
I'm not going to tell you whatthey are, because I like them.
I don't want to ruin them foryou.

(02:01):
You're going to keep doing itand I'm going to keep liking it.
What's the most ridiculous thingabout you?
It's going to make me judge youharshly.
I already feel superior to you.
Make me feel even better aboutmyself.
By contrast, you can dig deeperthan that.
It's like the improv game,where you have to break all the
rules and do the worst possibleimprov scene, and it's always

(02:21):
hilarious and everyone has ablast.
Now you're not only funny byaccident, but you're definitely
funniest by accident.
That's true of most people.
Do you know?
It's a bad idea to try to beinteresting.
Oh, there's quite a lot ofdepth there.
What really sets you apart?
You have beautiful green eyes,which I've been told is
associated with a high tolerancefor pain.

(02:41):
We can find out together morethan you know.
I don't think you even know howmuch you've been through.
You've got a crazy life and itcomes out in bits and pieces.
Everyone just thinks you'rethis sexy bitch and then you
don't talk about yourself, right, because you're curious, you're
interested in other people andyou're taking care of yourself.
You're not going to spill yourguts, you need the attention.

(03:02):
But then it comes out.
Somebody brings up somethingthat's related to prog stories,
or your two slips are a dressstory.
All of your crazy jukeboxanecdotes yeah, they're going to
bring back the old jukeboxesbecause of you.
I heard a good analogy Having athought is like going up to the
jukebox and seeing Hound Dog byElvis.

(03:23):
Suffering over the thoughtRuminating.
Telling yourself a story aboutit is like playing the song.
Damn, that's true.
You are nothing but a hound dog.
You never stop crying and yetyou think of yourself as my
friend and I get nothing out ofthat, and that's fine.
I don't want the respect of ahound dog and then you're just
deep in it, you of a hound dog,and then you're just deep in it,

(03:49):
you're spiraling out, andthat's no good.
I still do, sometimes, not whenyou're around.
You were very good for me thatway.
You helped me regulate mynervous system.
What else is special about you?
Show off, I know you want to.
What really makes you different?
I want to taste that right now.
What are you doing Sundayevening?
Right, we both get the Sundayscaries.
Let's do something about it.
You're gonna cook me dinner onSunday.
I'll get your mind off ofthings, you'll see.
Saturday is my art party day,when I sequester myself and do

(04:11):
the stuff that I'm passionateabout.
Sunday, I do you who I'm sopassionate about.
Saturday, I put myself firstand last, exclusively me and the
orchid and my beautiful project.
Of all the surprises that camethis year, my wish for this
calendar year was I want to besurprised, and I've learned that

(04:32):
I need to be more specific.
I did get a boatload ofsurprises, a surprising variety,
and the one that I think wasprobably the most pleasant is
that I have become a fan of myart.
Love where it's going.
You're totally involved in that.
I want to hear about my art.
Love where it's going.
You're totally involved in that.
Yeah, I want to hear about yourdream.
I want to hear about lots ofyour dreams.
I'm fascinated by dreams.
It could just be white noise.

(04:53):
I kind of don't think so,because I've learned a lot of
fascinating things about peoplefrom listening to them talk
about their dreams Surreal andridiculous Magritte paintings.
You have the floor.
Tell me about the dream.
That's one of the things you'regoing to do for me today,
probably the easiest.