May 13, 2025 • 28 mins
Drink in hand, Emily dives into relationship questions. This solo episode is all about love languages, dating history, and the complex journey that led her to her current relationship. She opens up about her toxic past relationship, how she met her current boyfriend of seven years, and shares advice on suspected cheating.
Do you want to share your relationship stories? Have any questions? Need to tell an amazing gremlin story? Email us at EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM
Follow along on Instagram and TikTok @emilytogremilypod and watch full episodes on YouTube.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
hey guys, emily, from emily to gremily, back again
with another solo episode.
Um, these always make menervous.
I haven't gotten used to justtalking to nobody.
I like having somebody sittingright here beside me, but we got
to do solo episodes at somepoint.
(00:32):
Today's the day.
Um, my drink of the episode?
It's simple, it's just vodka,because I'm a vodka girly and an
Alani.
So it's kind of like a vodkaRed Bull but with an Alani
instead.
And if you're not watching,it's such a pretty color Like,
oh my gosh, it's like thisperfect iridescent pink.
(00:55):
She's so pretty, but yeah, solet's see what we got today.
So for today, I had thrown itout on social media that I
wanted to talk aboutrelationships.
I had gotten a lot of questionson my last solo episode asking
(01:15):
about like my relationship, likewhat I got going on currently.
So I decided I was going to doa whole separate episode just
devoted specifically to this.
I also had put it out on socialmedia if you guys had any extra
questions or if you had likeany advice, questions like if
you want me to help you, youknow, solve something.
Again, like I prefaced onsocial media, I am not a
(01:40):
therapist, I am just nosy and Ilike to give advice and talk.
So that's what I did.
I gathered your questions here.
Also, I got an advice question,so I'm kind of excited to talk
about that.
So, yeah, let's just getstarted with it.
With the first question I got,which was what is your love
(02:02):
language?
And I never know how to answerthis too I debate on whether or
not the question is like how doI like to receive love or how do
I like to give love.
So I decided I'm just gonnatell you both.
As far as like receiving love, Ifeel like I'm more of like a
quality time girl.
(02:22):
I just love to like hang outand, you know, talk and just
like be with my person.
So that's how I think I like toreceive it.
Give it out is more for me likeacts of service.
I love to do things for myperson.
I like to you know, when hecomes home, I like to have the
(02:43):
house clean, I like to have ameal cooked, I like to have
everything just like set up.
I like to do things for myperson.
It's just for me.
It's a little more fun to, youknow, have him come home and
have everything nice and set upand, you know, do things that
make his life just like a littlebit easier.
So I think that's more of likemy love language how I give, how
(03:05):
I receive, I mean, but also, atthe same time, I love to like
give and receive gifts.
I feel like we're all just likea big mix of all of them, to be
quite honest.
But, yeah, mainly would bequality time, and I love to do,
I love to do things for people.
I think that's a lot of fun.
(03:26):
Okay, this next one made mechuckles.
It said do you have a type?
Asking for a friend, and thenthey put a little winky face I
don't have a type.
No.
Also, if you're flirting withme, keep flirting with me,
because I would love a boost tomy self-confidence.
But no, I don't have a type.
If you put all the people I'veever dated, I don't know hooked
(03:52):
up with in a room, they don't.
Nobody looks alike.
I feel like I'm more attractedto personality as opposed to
looks.
That's not to say that you know, looks don't mean anything, but
personality is like a reallybig thing for me, because you
could be like the most, likegorgeous person, gorgeous man,
(04:13):
gorgeous woman around, but ifyou have the personality of like
a spoon, then I'm not gonnafuck with you.
You know, someone has to befunny, they have to be sweet,
they have to be nice.
Um, yeah, I'm more attracted topersonality.
It's it's really hard to getover someone have, like, if
(04:33):
they're really gorgeous butthey're a dickhead and or they
just are bland or boring, that'smore.
That's harder to get get over.
Um, not to say that I haven'tdated a dickhead, or dickheads,
actually multiple Um, that'llcome up in a future question,
(04:54):
which I have listed here.
But yeah, no, um type.
I don't really have like a type.
I've said before on this podcastthat I love, you know, blonde
blue eyes, but that's not likean exclusive, like I only will
date a blonde blue eyed.
It does help though.
So, yeah, no, not a specifictype.
(05:18):
How many people have you said Ilove you to?
Ok, so I have to think aboutthis.
I've said it to three differentmen, partners romantically, and
each cause I've only had threeserious relationships.
But I feel, like I said, I loveyou differently in each one.
(05:38):
It's probably just, you know, amaturity thing.
When I said it to you know, myhigh school sweetheart, it was
very playful and fun and it waslike that kind of love where you
think you're going to betogether forever and you know
not to pop anyone's bubble, butusually you don't end up with
your high school sweetheart Ididn't, but I meant it when I
(06:02):
said it to him and you reallythink it's like the end all be
all and you guys are going to betogether forever and it's just
very sweet, um, that you, youcan look back on it fondly.
Um, with the second person, itwas a learning experience.
We were very toxic for eachother.
Um, I did mean it when I saidit, but it was a little more
(06:26):
emotionally charged with him andI'll get into it more with the
next question.
But now I feel like I have avery grounded and secure love
with the person I'm with now.
It's not it's not toxic, we'rejust very much like in the
(06:47):
moment with each other and we'resecure with each other.
Not that I want to like speakon his behalf, but you know I
feel like he would say the samething.
I don't know, babe, I knowyou're listening to this, so let
me know how you feel.
But yeah, I feel like it's moreof a secure love, more it comes
from a place of just likematurity almost, even though I
don't like to think that I'm oldor mature, but yeah, I think
(07:11):
it's a more mature love.
So I feel like you can say Ilove you to multiple people over
the course of your life andhave it mean something different
each time, and that's justcoming with age.
Okay, so to cycle into the nextquestion what happened in your
worst relationship with an Aries?
So in my last solo episode Iwas asked what signs,
(07:36):
astrological sign I get alongwith best and what sign I get
along with worst, and I hadmentioned that I had my best
relationship now with an Ariesand my worst relationship was
also with an Aries.
That is a person I met when Iwas 19.
I'm trying to say this not in amean way.
(07:59):
He wasn't a very nice person.
He was very narcissistic, whichis something that I wasn't cued
into or realized was apersonality trait, mainly
because I was young and I, youknow, was still in that I don't
know honeymoon phase maybe, whenhe really showed me his true
(08:20):
colors.
I was kind of already in deepand I maybe almost thought I
could fix him in a way which youcan't fix people.
People can only fix themselves.
It was the worst in terms of howhe was emotionally and mentally
(08:40):
abusive and extremelymanipulative.
Mentally abusive and extremelymanipulative.
If I could go back and tellmyself anything, it would just
be to you know, watch for thesigns.
He showed me who he was prettyquickly on and I just didn't
care Not that I didn't care atthe moment, I just I thought it
(09:01):
would change.
I thought maybe I could makehim change, and people aren't
going to change for you Likethat's.
It's just plain and simple.
He, um, he really liked toisolate me and at first I didn't
really care because I justenjoyed being with him all the
time.
If I tried to have friendshipsoutside of him, he felt it as a
(09:22):
threat and you shouldn't bethreatened if you're, if your
boyfriend or girlfriend orhusband or wife has friendships.
You know people need aconnections outside of what you
have in your own house and he,he didn't want that.
It was either him or nothing.
And you know, I did stay withwith him for a long time.
(09:45):
I stayed with him way longerthan I should have and, um, it
was toxic.
I really do think we broughtout the worst in each other.
I definitely wasn't a perfectperson when I was with him.
Um, we I enabled a lot of hisbehaviors.
He was a very addictive person.
He had an addictive personalityand I wasn't the person to say
(10:10):
no to him.
I just kind of let him do whathe wanted to do, to my own
detriment.
We were engaged at one point.
That's something I wish didn'thappen, because it's a failed
engagement, to be quite honest.
And also I just kind of wish Iwould have saved it, saved an
engagement for somebody I reallywas going to marry, because
(10:31):
when I had said yes, I did meanit, but I knew it was never
going to last and it wasn'tgoing to be true.
We had started planning awedding and I immediately got
cold feet Looking back on it.
When I started planning awedding and I immediately got
cold feet looking back on itwhen I was planning it, I was
planning it as in.
As it wasn't really going tohappen it and it never did, I
(10:55):
broke it off.
Um, yeah, we just we were verytoxic for each other.
It wasn't something that wasmeant to be, meant, meant to
last, and unfortunately I stayedin it five years too long.
But you know, we live and welearn and everything is just a
life lesson.
(11:15):
At the end of the day, Idefinitely know the signs of a
narcissist.
Now, whether people want totake my advice or not, that's
totally on them, but I mean, Ican spot, spot one a mile away,
because they all have a veryclear pattern.
Um, so, yeah, that would be myworst relationship with an Aries
(11:39):
.
He's my worst relationshipoverall, though it's not just
specifically an Aries, he wasjust like the worst overall.
I'm sure he doesn't really havekind words to say to me either,
um, but I'll never know becauseI don't want to speak to him
again.
So toodaloo to him.
Let's go on to happier questions.
How did you meet your boyfriend?
(12:00):
So we met at work.
Actually, um, I had known himfor about four years prior to us
starting to date.
So he was around me when I waswith my past relationship and,
yeah, we had known each other.
I thought he was like a reallynice guy, really sweet, funny,
(12:21):
and you know, once my otherrelationship kind of blew up, he
was there and we startedhanging out more because I was
able to have friends outside ofmy past relationship and we just
kind of started dating and it'sbeen really great ever since.
So, yeah, we've been togetherin June, june 21st, 22nd, I
(12:48):
don't know the date.
Actually I should ask him, andhopefully he doesn't get mad
when I do ask him.
I don't think he will.
But yeah, june 21st or 22nd ofthis year will be seven years,
so he's officially my longestrelationship.
Yeah, and I'm happy.
And then the next question sayswill your boyfriend ever come on
(13:10):
the podcast?
Okay, I've asked him severaltimes if he would be willing and
he each time tells me no, he'sa private guy, he's shy.
I will eventually persuade himto come on.
I'm probably going to have tooffer him something like he
can't refuse.
I don't know what that's goingto be yet, but I will eventually
(13:33):
convince him to come on.
It's just a matter of doing so.
It's going to take a lot ofprobing and a lot of persuading,
so I will eventually get him on.
It's just probably going to bea while, which is okay.
He can just keep listening onhis way home from work.
And, babe, I will eventuallyget you on this podcast.
(13:56):
So you can't say no forever.
I'm eventually going to annoythe shit out of you and you're
going to have to come on.
So, yes, he will come on, justnot right now.
Okay, and the last question wassent to me on an email.
I had said if you guys wantedadvice on anything and it was,
(14:17):
you know, because you can onlytype in so many characters on
Instagram If you have like along form question to email me,
which this person did she didnot sign her name, so I'm going
to keep it anonymous.
But the subject line of theemail said I think my boyfriend
is cheating on me.
And then this is the text.
(14:37):
It says hi, I'm looking foradvice and would love an
outsider opinion.
I think my boyfriend of twoyears might be cheating on me.
I've noticed he's becomeextremely distant.
We have talked about moving inwith each other and even started
looking at apartments together,but then last week he mentioned
he had just renewed his leasefor another year.
I also went to look through hisphone I know that's not okay
(15:02):
and he had changed his code.
I can't tell him.
I know he changed it becausethen he will know I was snooping
.
I have talked to my friendsabout it and they don't like him
.
So they immediately told me tobreak up with him.
I know he has been stressedabout work and don't want to add
to his stress, but I don't knowwhat to do.
Any advice would be helpful.
Thank you, oof.
(15:24):
Let's see.
It's obviously not okay to gothrough someone's phone without
their permission.
I've done it.
I'm pretty sure almost everyonehas done it at one point in
some relationship.
It's not okay, but for him tochange the code is a little
sneaky.
(15:44):
I would also love to know thatshe didn't say how old she was
or how old her boyfriend was.
I would love to know if this iscoming from someone who's like
21 or 31, because that kind ofmakes a difference.
It doesn't?
It doesn't, I guess?
I'm not sure.
Also, the friends not likinghim.
I would love to know why theydon't like him.
(16:06):
Because you know, I had thisfriend at one point who she was
in this relationship and shedidn't introduce him to any of
any of our friends.
Like, we had the same friendgroup and you know, no one had
really met this guy with theexception of two girls who said
they hated him and that he wasan asshole.
(16:26):
And I couldn't really make myown opinion about him because
she kept him hidden and there'salways a reason to not like
somebody and it feels like maybehe's giving off bad vibes,
maybe he's not really the bestperson, but I also feel like
women's intuition is importantand it's real.
(16:50):
If you really feel likesomething is going on, it
usually is.
I've never, you know, nottrusted my intuition about
something.
So, with that being said, theadvice I would give is I really
I know you don't want to stresshim out, but I think you need to
just have like a really blunt,straightforward conversation
(17:11):
with him and ask him what'sgoing on, and you might just
need to admit to what you did.
Of course it's not okay to gothrough someone's phone, but you
try to and you couldn't findanything because the code was
changed.
I would just say, look, I feeldistant with you, I feel some
(17:31):
awkwardness with you and I'm notsure not really sure what it is
, what's going on?
I think you might be cheatingon me and I did try to go
through your phone and Icouldn't get in it because you
changed the code.
So I would just straight uptell him and be like look, this
is what I think is going on andhopefully nothing is going on.
Maybe he really just isstressed from work.
(17:53):
But I would just confront him.
That's really the only thingyou can do, because he's not
gonna just tell you on his ownaccord.
You're gonna need to ask himstraight up what is going on for
him to tell you.
And if he shuts you down, ithonestly depends on how he
reacts.
If he's very defensive and meanand mad that you came at him,
(18:17):
maybe there's a reason he'sdefensive.
If he tries to calm you downand say hey look, so sorry, I'm
just stressed and I renewed mylease because I had to.
We hadn't found a place yet.
There's a lot of ways this couldgo, but I really do think being
honest and direct andstraightforward with somebody is
the best policy.
(18:37):
I've done the sneaky routebefore and it's never worked out
.
I really feel like beingstraightforward is the best
option.
It's the only way you're goingto be able to find the answers
that you're looking for andhopefully he's honest with you.
Hopefully he's not cheating,hopefully he is just, you know,
kind of stressed with work,which is totally understandable.
People get stressed.
(18:58):
There's been times where I'mstressed and I'm so focused on
myself and my own emotions thatI'm not thinking about somebody
else's emotions, which is, youknow, that's just life, that's
just being a person.
So hopefully he's not cheatingon you, but I would definitely
just straight up ask him andadmit your wrongdoing.
Tell him you tried to gothrough his phone and that you
(19:22):
won't do it again.
But you became even moreinsecure that the phone code was
changed and you couldn't lookat it.
But also try not to go throughhis phone, because, eesh, that
always just makes you look crazy.
It made me look and feel crazy,so I would definitely just
straight up ask him.
Okay, so that was the end ofthe questions.
(19:45):
I didn't pick each question.
I was sent in several that werekind of like double questions
or they were kind of I felt likewere going to be answered in
the same way.
The other ones were, but if Ididn't pick your question, just
send them in again.
I'm going to do more soloepisodes, but yeah, so I figured
I'd read some two Gremlinstories that were sent in, yeah,
(20:12):
so let's get on it.
The first one is from Julie.
She says it was Halloweenweekend 2019 and I was visiting
my boyfriend who had just movedto a new town for his job.
I was really excited to finallysee his new apartment and meet
his new work friends at acostume party that was being
(20:33):
hosted by one of his colleagues.
My boyfriend and I decided todo a couple's costume and were
skeletons, complete with a fullface of makeup.
I was nervous to meet everyone,so we pre-gamed at his house
before leaving for the party.
Once we were there, everyonewas really welcoming and the
drinks just kept on flowing.
After a couple hours I wasdefinitely feeling the effects
(20:56):
of the many shots and thecountless glasses of punch I had
consumed.
At one point I was mingling withthe host's girlfriend when I
realized my boyfriend wasnowhere to be found.
I walked away and tried callinghim multiple times, but he
never answered.
My drunken self was somehowconvinced he had left me there
all by myself and I becameinconsolable, like full on tears
(21:20):
streaming down my face andsmudging my once perfect
skeleton makeup.
A few girls were trying to helpme and promising me he didn't
leave me and we'd find him.
Girls were trying to help meand promising me he didn't leave
me and we'd find him.
My tears turned into seethingred anger and I decided I needed
to leave immediately.
All caps.
Next thing I knew I wasstumbling to the sidewalk to
(21:42):
catch my Uber.
I had decided it was time toleave and I wanted to go back to
my house, which was 40 minutesaway.
I cried the entire car ridehome, with my Uber driver
handing me tissues.
Oh God, I can picture it.
My boyfriend kept calling andtexting me, but I refused to
answer the phone.
(22:03):
I finally arrived home afterwhat felt like an eternity, only
to realize I had left my housekeys back at my boyfriend's
house.
I never took them with me,since I wasn't going to need
them that night, so I decided tojust sleep right there on my
porch, since I had no strengthto attempt to break into my
house.
I awoke the next morning to myboyfriend walking up to me with
(22:26):
the bags I had left at his house, as well as my house keys.
I was so embarrassed, butluckily we were able to laugh it
off.
Minus the $200 Uber ride andthe terrible blow to my ego, I
ended up moving in with him sixmonths later and the host's
girlfriend ended up being abridesmaid in our wedding a
(22:47):
couple years later.
So, safe to say, my terriblefirst impression didn't ruin my
reputation too much, lol.
I hope you enjoyed my gremlinstory and can't wait to hear
others.
Julie, oh Julie, you're a girlafter my own heart.
I picked it because I feel likeI've probably done this not for
(23:08):
a Halloween party, but I forsure have lost a boyfriend at a
party and then thought that itwas the end of the world.
I never had a $200 Uber ride,but this is me, when I'm drunk
for sure, and I've turned to thedark side, and there's no
consoling a drunk gremlin.
(23:28):
Plain and simple.
You just think it's the end ofthe world and that's that.
Luckily, you have a boyfriendnow husband who you know can
laugh with it as well.
So good for you, julie.
But oh man, I can picture ittoo.
It's so sad, all right.
The next one is from Erica.
(23:50):
She says my gremlin storyproduced another gremlin.
After working from home duringthe pandemic, my friend group
and I were unusually excited tobe able to return to our party
ways.
My best friend decided to throwherself a birthday party at our
house in January of 2022, andalmost everyone she invited
(24:12):
attended, including myex-boyfriend.
We didn't end on bad terms, soseeing him was a welcome
surprise.
We drank and danced all nightlong and, of course, ended up in
bed together, even though thenight was blurry.
I do remember pulling a condomfrom my nightstand drawer and
giving it to him, assuming heput it on.
The next morning we all woke upwith the most disgusting
(24:38):
hangover.
It became an all-day affair ofthrowing up and stumbling back
to bed.
When the hangover and my exfinally departed, I was able to
clean my room and the house andnoticed the fully intact and
unused condom wrapper on myfloor.
In a panic I decided I musthave handed him two, and all was
(24:59):
well.
Nine months later, I gave birthto our beautiful little
daughter, hayden.
Even though we did not get backtogether, we are great friends
and he's the absolute bestfather to our little girl.
Now she has officially reachedher terrible twos and I can
absolutely say she is a full-onferal gremlin.
Thanks for reading, erica.
(25:21):
Oh this, I thought that was sosweet.
I don't have a similar story.
I just picked it because Ithought it was really, really
cute.
And congratulations on yourbeautiful little gremlin.
And I'm happy that, even thoughyou guys aren't together, you
can co parent and have abeautiful, beautiful
(25:41):
relationship with your daughterfor your daughter.
I just thought that was reallysweet and lovely.
And but, yeah, always usecondoms, because unplanned
pregnancy is real.
All right, guys.
So that's the end of thisepisode.
It's a short one.
I think solo episodes arealways going to be kind of short
(26:04):
, short and sweet, as I like tosay.
So yeah, I'll just do likequestions.
Read some gremlin stories.
If you guys have any ideas oflike what you guys want me to
talk about, please send them in.
I'm always looking for ideas.
I have some episodes set upupcoming that I'm really excited
about.
I'm excited to talk to a fewdifferent people.
I have some episodes set upupcoming that I'm really excited
about.
I'm excited to talk to a fewdifferent people.
(26:25):
I have some really fun episodeslined up.
But solo episodes for me arealways a little more uncertain.
I don't really know what I'mgoing to talk about with you
guys when I'm by myself.
So if you have ideas, if youwant me to answer a specific
question, send those in.
You can DM me on Instagram,which is emily2gremlinpod, send
(26:48):
me a message if you have someideas.
You can also email me yourgremlin stories at
emily2gremlinpod at gmailcom.
And I also do have a TikTok theTikTok's kind of slow moving.
I don't really know how to likepromote myself on TikTok, so
please give me a follow there.
That's the same as everythingelse, emily, to Gremlin pod With
(27:12):
your gremlin stories my friendhad mentioned in last week's
episode that if you guys want tosend in your gremlin stories
with the drink that made youbecome a gremlin, that would be
fun.
I can make the drink myself andsee how long it takes me to
spiral and become a gremlin withthe drink that caused you to
(27:33):
spiral.
I think that'll be fun.
Yeah, so that's pretty much theepisode.
Send in your gremlin stories,send me messages.
Let me give me the episode.
Send in your gremlin stories,send me messages, give me the
feedback.
You can also rate this podcaston Apple Podcasts, spotify,
amazon Music.
I'm listed everywhere.
I'll actually do like adifferent post separately to
(27:56):
show where I'm listed and whereyou guys can find me.
But yeah, make sure to send inyour Gremlin stories and rate
this podcast.
Give it five stars.
If you're gonna give me onestar, four stars, three stars, I
don't want that.
Don't rate it, just do five.
All right, guys, thank you somuch for joining me and we'll
cheersies with a drink.
Cheers, adios, adios.
hey guys, emily, from emily to gremily, back again
with another solo episode.
Um, these always make menervous.
I haven't gotten used to justtalking to nobody.
I like having somebody sittingright here beside me, but we got
to do solo episodes at somepoint.
(00:32):
Today's the day.
Um, my drink of the episode?
It's simple, it's just vodka,because I'm a vodka girly and an
Alani.
So it's kind of like a vodkaRed Bull but with an Alani
instead.
And if you're not watching,it's such a pretty color Like,
oh my gosh, it's like thisperfect iridescent pink.
(00:55):
She's so pretty, but yeah, solet's see what we got today.
So for today, I had thrown itout on social media that I
wanted to talk aboutrelationships.
I had gotten a lot of questionson my last solo episode asking
(01:15):
about like my relationship, likewhat I got going on currently.
So I decided I was going to doa whole separate episode just
devoted specifically to this.
I also had put it out on socialmedia if you guys had any extra
questions or if you had likeany advice, questions like if
you want me to help you, youknow, solve something.
Again, like I prefaced onsocial media, I am not a
(01:40):
therapist, I am just nosy and Ilike to give advice and talk.
So that's what I did.
I gathered your questions here.
Also, I got an advice question,so I'm kind of excited to talk
about that.
So, yeah, let's just getstarted with it.
With the first question I got,which was what is your love
(02:02):
language?
And I never know how to answerthis too I debate on whether or
not the question is like how doI like to receive love or how do
I like to give love.
So I decided I'm just gonnatell you both.
As far as like receiving love, Ifeel like I'm more of like a
quality time girl.
(02:22):
I just love to like hang outand, you know, talk and just
like be with my person.
So that's how I think I like toreceive it.
Give it out is more for me likeacts of service.
I love to do things for myperson.
I like to you know, when hecomes home, I like to have the
(02:43):
house clean, I like to have ameal cooked, I like to have
everything just like set up.
I like to do things for myperson.
It's just for me.
It's a little more fun to, youknow, have him come home and
have everything nice and set upand, you know, do things that
make his life just like a littlebit easier.
So I think that's more of likemy love language how I give, how
(03:05):
I receive, I mean, but also, atthe same time, I love to like
give and receive gifts.
I feel like we're all just likea big mix of all of them, to be
quite honest.
But, yeah, mainly would bequality time, and I love to do,
I love to do things for people.
I think that's a lot of fun.
(03:26):
Okay, this next one made mechuckles.
It said do you have a type?
Asking for a friend, and thenthey put a little winky face I
don't have a type.
No.
Also, if you're flirting withme, keep flirting with me,
because I would love a boost tomy self-confidence.
But no, I don't have a type.
If you put all the people I'veever dated, I don't know hooked
(03:52):
up with in a room, they don't.
Nobody looks alike.
I feel like I'm more attractedto personality as opposed to
looks.
That's not to say that you know, looks don't mean anything, but
personality is like a reallybig thing for me, because you
could be like the most, likegorgeous person, gorgeous man,
(04:13):
gorgeous woman around, but ifyou have the personality of like
a spoon, then I'm not gonnafuck with you.
You know, someone has to befunny, they have to be sweet,
they have to be nice.
Um, yeah, I'm more attracted topersonality.
It's it's really hard to getover someone have, like, if
(04:33):
they're really gorgeous butthey're a dickhead and or they
just are bland or boring, that'smore.
That's harder to get get over.
Um, not to say that I haven'tdated a dickhead, or dickheads,
actually multiple Um, that'llcome up in a future question,
(04:54):
which I have listed here.
But yeah, no, um type.
I don't really have like a type.
I've said before on this podcastthat I love, you know, blonde
blue eyes, but that's not likean exclusive, like I only will
date a blonde blue eyed.
It does help though.
So, yeah, no, not a specifictype.
(05:18):
How many people have you said Ilove you to?
Ok, so I have to think aboutthis.
I've said it to three differentmen, partners romantically, and
each cause I've only had threeserious relationships.
But I feel, like I said, I loveyou differently in each one.
(05:38):
It's probably just, you know, amaturity thing.
When I said it to you know, myhigh school sweetheart, it was
very playful and fun and it waslike that kind of love where you
think you're going to betogether forever and you know
not to pop anyone's bubble, butusually you don't end up with
your high school sweetheart Ididn't, but I meant it when I
(06:02):
said it to him and you reallythink it's like the end all be
all and you guys are going to betogether forever and it's just
very sweet, um, that you, youcan look back on it fondly.
Um, with the second person, itwas a learning experience.
We were very toxic for eachother.
Um, I did mean it when I saidit, but it was a little more
(06:26):
emotionally charged with him andI'll get into it more with the
next question.
But now I feel like I have avery grounded and secure love
with the person I'm with now.
It's not it's not toxic, we'rejust very much like in the
(06:47):
moment with each other and we'resecure with each other.
Not that I want to like speakon his behalf, but you know I
feel like he would say the samething.
I don't know, babe, I knowyou're listening to this, so let
me know how you feel.
But yeah, I feel like it's moreof a secure love, more it comes
from a place of just likematurity almost, even though I
don't like to think that I'm oldor mature, but yeah, I think
(07:11):
it's a more mature love.
So I feel like you can say Ilove you to multiple people over
the course of your life andhave it mean something different
each time, and that's justcoming with age.
Okay, so to cycle into the nextquestion what happened in your
worst relationship with an Aries?
So in my last solo episode Iwas asked what signs,
(07:36):
astrological sign I get alongwith best and what sign I get
along with worst, and I hadmentioned that I had my best
relationship now with an Ariesand my worst relationship was
also with an Aries.
That is a person I met when Iwas 19.
I'm trying to say this not in amean way.
(07:59):
He wasn't a very nice person.
He was very narcissistic, whichis something that I wasn't cued
into or realized was apersonality trait, mainly
because I was young and I, youknow, was still in that I don't
know honeymoon phase maybe, whenhe really showed me his true
(08:20):
colors.
I was kind of already in deepand I maybe almost thought I
could fix him in a way which youcan't fix people.
People can only fix themselves.
It was the worst in terms of howhe was emotionally and mentally
(08:40):
abusive and extremelymanipulative.
Mentally abusive and extremelymanipulative.
If I could go back and tellmyself anything, it would just
be to you know, watch for thesigns.
He showed me who he was prettyquickly on and I just didn't
care Not that I didn't care atthe moment, I just I thought it
(09:01):
would change.
I thought maybe I could makehim change, and people aren't
going to change for you Likethat's.
It's just plain and simple.
He, um, he really liked toisolate me and at first I didn't
really care because I justenjoyed being with him all the
time.
If I tried to have friendshipsoutside of him, he felt it as a
(09:22):
threat and you shouldn't bethreatened if you're, if your
boyfriend or girlfriend orhusband or wife has friendships.
You know people need aconnections outside of what you
have in your own house and he,he didn't want that.
It was either him or nothing.
And you know, I did stay withwith him for a long time.
(09:45):
I stayed with him way longerthan I should have and, um, it
was toxic.
I really do think we broughtout the worst in each other.
I definitely wasn't a perfectperson when I was with him.
Um, we I enabled a lot of hisbehaviors.
He was a very addictive person.
He had an addictive personalityand I wasn't the person to say
(10:10):
no to him.
I just kind of let him do whathe wanted to do, to my own
detriment.
We were engaged at one point.
That's something I wish didn'thappen, because it's a failed
engagement, to be quite honest.
And also I just kind of wish Iwould have saved it, saved an
engagement for somebody I reallywas going to marry, because
(10:31):
when I had said yes, I did meanit, but I knew it was never
going to last and it wasn'tgoing to be true.
We had started planning awedding and I immediately got
cold feet Looking back on it.
When I started planning awedding and I immediately got
cold feet looking back on itwhen I was planning it, I was
planning it as in.
As it wasn't really going tohappen it and it never did, I
(10:55):
broke it off.
Um, yeah, we just we were verytoxic for each other.
It wasn't something that wasmeant to be, meant, meant to
last, and unfortunately I stayedin it five years too long.
But you know, we live and welearn and everything is just a
life lesson.
(11:15):
At the end of the day, Idefinitely know the signs of a
narcissist.
Now, whether people want totake my advice or not, that's
totally on them, but I mean, Ican spot, spot one a mile away,
because they all have a veryclear pattern.
Um, so, yeah, that would be myworst relationship with an Aries
(11:39):
.
He's my worst relationshipoverall, though it's not just
specifically an Aries, he wasjust like the worst overall.
I'm sure he doesn't really havekind words to say to me either,
um, but I'll never know becauseI don't want to speak to him
again.
So toodaloo to him.
Let's go on to happier questions.
How did you meet your boyfriend?
(12:00):
So we met at work.
Actually, um, I had known himfor about four years prior to us
starting to date.
So he was around me when I waswith my past relationship and,
yeah, we had known each other.
I thought he was like a reallynice guy, really sweet, funny,
(12:21):
and you know, once my otherrelationship kind of blew up, he
was there and we startedhanging out more because I was
able to have friends outside ofmy past relationship and we just
kind of started dating and it'sbeen really great ever since.
So, yeah, we've been togetherin June, june 21st, 22nd, I
(12:48):
don't know the date.
Actually I should ask him, andhopefully he doesn't get mad
when I do ask him.
I don't think he will.
But yeah, june 21st or 22nd ofthis year will be seven years,
so he's officially my longestrelationship.
Yeah, and I'm happy.
And then the next question sayswill your boyfriend ever come on
(13:10):
the podcast?
Okay, I've asked him severaltimes if he would be willing and
he each time tells me no, he'sa private guy, he's shy.
I will eventually persuade himto come on.
I'm probably going to have tooffer him something like he
can't refuse.
I don't know what that's goingto be yet, but I will eventually
(13:33):
convince him to come on.
It's just a matter of doing so.
It's going to take a lot ofprobing and a lot of persuading,
so I will eventually get him on.
It's just probably going to bea while, which is okay.
He can just keep listening onhis way home from work.
And, babe, I will eventuallyget you on this podcast.
(13:56):
So you can't say no forever.
I'm eventually going to annoythe shit out of you and you're
going to have to come on.
So, yes, he will come on, justnot right now.
Okay, and the last question wassent to me on an email.
I had said if you guys wantedadvice on anything and it was,
(14:17):
you know, because you can onlytype in so many characters on
Instagram If you have like along form question to email me,
which this person did she didnot sign her name, so I'm going
to keep it anonymous.
But the subject line of theemail said I think my boyfriend
is cheating on me.
And then this is the text.
(14:37):
It says hi, I'm looking foradvice and would love an
outsider opinion.
I think my boyfriend of twoyears might be cheating on me.
I've noticed he's becomeextremely distant.
We have talked about moving inwith each other and even started
looking at apartments together,but then last week he mentioned
he had just renewed his leasefor another year.
I also went to look through hisphone I know that's not okay
(15:02):
and he had changed his code.
I can't tell him.
I know he changed it becausethen he will know I was snooping
.
I have talked to my friendsabout it and they don't like him
.
So they immediately told me tobreak up with him.
I know he has been stressedabout work and don't want to add
to his stress, but I don't knowwhat to do.
Any advice would be helpful.
Thank you, oof.
(15:24):
Let's see.
It's obviously not okay to gothrough someone's phone without
their permission.
I've done it.
I'm pretty sure almost everyonehas done it at one point in
some relationship.
It's not okay, but for him tochange the code is a little
sneaky.
(15:44):
I would also love to know thatshe didn't say how old she was
or how old her boyfriend was.
I would love to know if this iscoming from someone who's like
21 or 31, because that kind ofmakes a difference.
It doesn't?
It doesn't, I guess?
I'm not sure.
Also, the friends not likinghim.
I would love to know why theydon't like him.
(16:06):
Because you know, I had thisfriend at one point who she was
in this relationship and shedidn't introduce him to any of
any of our friends.
Like, we had the same friendgroup and you know, no one had
really met this guy with theexception of two girls who said
they hated him and that he wasan asshole.
(16:26):
And I couldn't really make myown opinion about him because
she kept him hidden and there'salways a reason to not like
somebody and it feels like maybehe's giving off bad vibes,
maybe he's not really the bestperson, but I also feel like
women's intuition is importantand it's real.
(16:50):
If you really feel likesomething is going on, it
usually is.
I've never, you know, nottrusted my intuition about
something.
So, with that being said, theadvice I would give is I really
I know you don't want to stresshim out, but I think you need to
just have like a really blunt,straightforward conversation
(17:11):
with him and ask him what'sgoing on, and you might just
need to admit to what you did.
Of course it's not okay to gothrough someone's phone, but you
try to and you couldn't findanything because the code was
changed.
I would just say, look, I feeldistant with you, I feel some
(17:31):
awkwardness with you and I'm notsure not really sure what it is
, what's going on?
I think you might be cheatingon me and I did try to go
through your phone and Icouldn't get in it because you
changed the code.
So I would just straight uptell him and be like look, this
is what I think is going on andhopefully nothing is going on.
Maybe he really just isstressed from work.
(17:53):
But I would just confront him.
That's really the only thingyou can do, because he's not
gonna just tell you on his ownaccord.
You're gonna need to ask himstraight up what is going on for
him to tell you.
And if he shuts you down, ithonestly depends on how he
reacts.
If he's very defensive and meanand mad that you came at him,
(18:17):
maybe there's a reason he'sdefensive.
If he tries to calm you downand say hey look, so sorry, I'm
just stressed and I renewed mylease because I had to.
We hadn't found a place yet.
There's a lot of ways this couldgo, but I really do think being
honest and direct andstraightforward with somebody is
the best policy.
(18:37):
I've done the sneaky routebefore and it's never worked out
.
I really feel like beingstraightforward is the best
option.
It's the only way you're goingto be able to find the answers
that you're looking for andhopefully he's honest with you.
Hopefully he's not cheating,hopefully he is just, you know,
kind of stressed with work,which is totally understandable.
People get stressed.
(18:58):
There's been times where I'mstressed and I'm so focused on
myself and my own emotions thatI'm not thinking about somebody
else's emotions, which is, youknow, that's just life, that's
just being a person.
So hopefully he's not cheatingon you, but I would definitely
just straight up ask him andadmit your wrongdoing.
Tell him you tried to gothrough his phone and that you
(19:22):
won't do it again.
But you became even moreinsecure that the phone code was
changed and you couldn't lookat it.
But also try not to go throughhis phone, because, eesh, that
always just makes you look crazy.
It made me look and feel crazy,so I would definitely just
straight up ask him.
Okay, so that was the end ofthe questions.
(19:45):
I didn't pick each question.
I was sent in several that werekind of like double questions
or they were kind of I felt likewere going to be answered in
the same way.
The other ones were, but if Ididn't pick your question, just
send them in again.
I'm going to do more soloepisodes, but yeah, so I figured
I'd read some two Gremlinstories that were sent in, yeah,
(20:12):
so let's get on it.
The first one is from Julie.
She says it was Halloweenweekend 2019 and I was visiting
my boyfriend who had just movedto a new town for his job.
I was really excited to finallysee his new apartment and meet
his new work friends at acostume party that was being
(20:33):
hosted by one of his colleagues.
My boyfriend and I decided todo a couple's costume and were
skeletons, complete with a fullface of makeup.
I was nervous to meet everyone,so we pre-gamed at his house
before leaving for the party.
Once we were there, everyonewas really welcoming and the
drinks just kept on flowing.
After a couple hours I wasdefinitely feeling the effects
(20:56):
of the many shots and thecountless glasses of punch I had
consumed.
At one point I was mingling withthe host's girlfriend when I
realized my boyfriend wasnowhere to be found.
I walked away and tried callinghim multiple times, but he
never answered.
My drunken self was somehowconvinced he had left me there
all by myself and I becameinconsolable, like full on tears
(21:20):
streaming down my face andsmudging my once perfect
skeleton makeup.
A few girls were trying to helpme and promising me he didn't
leave me and we'd find him.
Girls were trying to help meand promising me he didn't leave
me and we'd find him.
My tears turned into seethingred anger and I decided I needed
to leave immediately.
All caps.
Next thing I knew I wasstumbling to the sidewalk to
(21:42):
catch my Uber.
I had decided it was time toleave and I wanted to go back to
my house, which was 40 minutesaway.
I cried the entire car ridehome, with my Uber driver
handing me tissues.
Oh God, I can picture it.
My boyfriend kept calling andtexting me, but I refused to
answer the phone.
(22:03):
I finally arrived home afterwhat felt like an eternity, only
to realize I had left my housekeys back at my boyfriend's
house.
I never took them with me,since I wasn't going to need
them that night, so I decided tojust sleep right there on my
porch, since I had no strengthto attempt to break into my
house.
I awoke the next morning to myboyfriend walking up to me with
(22:26):
the bags I had left at his house, as well as my house keys.
I was so embarrassed, butluckily we were able to laugh it
off.
Minus the $200 Uber ride andthe terrible blow to my ego, I
ended up moving in with him sixmonths later and the host's
girlfriend ended up being abridesmaid in our wedding a
(22:47):
couple years later.
So, safe to say, my terriblefirst impression didn't ruin my
reputation too much, lol.
I hope you enjoyed my gremlinstory and can't wait to hear
others.
Julie, oh Julie, you're a girlafter my own heart.
I picked it because I feel likeI've probably done this not for
(23:08):
a Halloween party, but I forsure have lost a boyfriend at a
party and then thought that itwas the end of the world.
I never had a $200 Uber ride,but this is me, when I'm drunk
for sure, and I've turned to thedark side, and there's no
consoling a drunk gremlin.
(23:28):
Plain and simple.
You just think it's the end ofthe world and that's that.
Luckily, you have a boyfriendnow husband who you know can
laugh with it as well.
So good for you, julie.
But oh man, I can picture ittoo.
It's so sad, all right.
The next one is from Erica.
(23:50):
She says my gremlin storyproduced another gremlin.
After working from home duringthe pandemic, my friend group
and I were unusually excited tobe able to return to our party
ways.
My best friend decided to throwherself a birthday party at our
house in January of 2022, andalmost everyone she invited
(24:12):
attended, including myex-boyfriend.
We didn't end on bad terms, soseeing him was a welcome
surprise.
We drank and danced all nightlong and, of course, ended up in
bed together, even though thenight was blurry.
I do remember pulling a condomfrom my nightstand drawer and
giving it to him, assuming heput it on.
The next morning we all woke upwith the most disgusting
(24:38):
hangover.
It became an all-day affair ofthrowing up and stumbling back
to bed.
When the hangover and my exfinally departed, I was able to
clean my room and the house andnoticed the fully intact and
unused condom wrapper on myfloor.
In a panic I decided I musthave handed him two, and all was
(24:59):
well.
Nine months later, I gave birthto our beautiful little
daughter, hayden.
Even though we did not get backtogether, we are great friends
and he's the absolute bestfather to our little girl.
Now she has officially reachedher terrible twos and I can
absolutely say she is a full-onferal gremlin.
Thanks for reading, erica.
(25:21):
Oh this, I thought that was sosweet.
I don't have a similar story.
I just picked it because Ithought it was really, really
cute.
And congratulations on yourbeautiful little gremlin.
And I'm happy that, even thoughyou guys aren't together, you
can co parent and have abeautiful, beautiful
(25:41):
relationship with your daughterfor your daughter.
I just thought that was reallysweet and lovely.
And but, yeah, always usecondoms, because unplanned
pregnancy is real.
All right, guys.
So that's the end of thisepisode.
It's a short one.
I think solo episodes arealways going to be kind of short
(26:04):
, short and sweet, as I like tosay.
So yeah, I'll just do likequestions.
Read some gremlin stories.
If you guys have any ideas oflike what you guys want me to
talk about, please send them in.
I'm always looking for ideas.
I have some episodes set upupcoming that I'm really excited
about.
I'm excited to talk to a fewdifferent people.
I have some episodes set upupcoming that I'm really excited
about.
I'm excited to talk to a fewdifferent people.
(26:25):
I have some really fun episodeslined up.
But solo episodes for me arealways a little more uncertain.
I don't really know what I'mgoing to talk about with you
guys when I'm by myself.
So if you have ideas, if youwant me to answer a specific
question, send those in.
You can DM me on Instagram,which is emily2gremlinpod, send
(26:48):
me a message if you have someideas.
You can also email me yourgremlin stories at
emily2gremlinpod at gmailcom.
And I also do have a TikTok theTikTok's kind of slow moving.
I don't really know how to likepromote myself on TikTok, so
please give me a follow there.
That's the same as everythingelse, emily, to Gremlin pod With
(27:12):
your gremlin stories my friendhad mentioned in last week's
episode that if you guys want tosend in your gremlin stories
with the drink that made youbecome a gremlin, that would be
fun.
I can make the drink myself andsee how long it takes me to
spiral and become a gremlin withthe drink that caused you to
(27:33):
spiral.
I think that'll be fun.
Yeah, so that's pretty much theepisode.
Send in your gremlin stories,send me messages.
Let me give me the episode.
Send in your gremlin stories,send me messages, give me the
feedback.
You can also rate this podcaston Apple Podcasts, spotify,
amazon Music.
I'm listed everywhere.
I'll actually do like adifferent post separately to
(27:56):
show where I'm listed and whereyou guys can find me.
But yeah, make sure to send inyour Gremlin stories and rate
this podcast.
Give it five stars.
If you're gonna give me onestar, four stars, three stars, I
don't want that.
Don't rate it, just do five.
All right, guys, thank you somuch for joining me and we'll
cheersies with a drink.
Cheers, adios, adios.
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