July 15, 2025 • 42 mins
Have you ever planned your wedding to someone you just met? Created a Pinterest board for your fictitious future "van lyfe" with a guy you stopped talking to after one week? If so, you might be experiencing what Jay calls her "constant state of limerence," that magical, delusional period where you're convinced your souls have connected on a cosmic level.
In this champagne-fueled reunion, Emily and her bestie Jay dive headfirst into the whirlwind of instant attraction and fantasy futures. Between sips of champagne mojitos, they explore why some of us can't help but fall in love at first sight, only to crash back to reality when we finally see people for who they truly are. Jay's candid admissions about planning to live in a van with her latest crush will have you laughing in self-recognition.
The conversation takes several delightful detours through their unexpected celebrity crushes, from Matty Healy of The 1975 to Jack Schlossberg with his perfect "Kennedy swoop" hair, before diving into listener-submitted questions for "Gremlin Guidance." Their refreshingly direct advice includes the powerful reminder that "no is a full sentence" when setting boundaries in relationships.
But the true highlights come from the cringe-worthy "Gremlin Stories" submitted by brave listeners. From a bluetooth-enabled vibrating c**k ring that refused to release its grip, to a drunken fountain plunge that ended with a fake eyelash "floating away like a sad little boat," these tales of embarrassment remind us that we're all perfectly imperfect humans.
Whether you're currently in the throws of limerence or recovering from your last fantasy relationship, this episode offers equal parts comfort and laughter. And the next time you find yourself planning a wedding after one date just know you're in good company.
Need Gremlin Guidance? Have your own Gremlin story to share? Email us at EMILYTOGREMILYPOD@GMAIL.COM
Follow along on Instagram and TikTok @emilytogremilypod and watch full episodes on YouTube.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
cheers welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Thanks for having me back oh, that's actually good
round two round two.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
She's back again.
I I was able to book her fromher very busy schedule.
So booked and busy.
So, booked and busy.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
My people arranged it so I could be here.
Her people called my people, wehad them arrange it and I
rescheduled some board meetings.
All those conference calls,yeah, and then you know like
Gaga Bus Club.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Another club, another club.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
No sleep.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Do it again.
So we're back with Jay Backagain If you couldn't tell With
the bestie Jay, and we haveanother champagne cocktail,
because girl does champagne.
Yeah, champagne is my favorite,so we did a champagne mojito
which I don't know.
I've been on like a mojito kickwithin the past like month or
so I mean, I like champagne.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
I haven't had ever had a champagne mojito, but this
one's good.
Yeah, it's refreshing.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I gave it to her and you could see like little itty
bits of the mint leaves andshe's like is this weed?
I'm not mad if it is no I'm aproud uh gardener, 420 friendly.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, no, I wasn't mad and I was like well, you're
like is this?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I ate it, and then she was like it's mint.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I was like, oh yeah, I taste that now.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Oh well, forget it, I don't care yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But then I thought, wow, this would be good thc
infused cocktail.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
But she did say that and then I said I was worried we
might not finish the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Wow, you don't frequent garden.
You don't garden frequently.
No, you don't frequent thegarden garden frequently.
I haven't.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I feel like, okay, it's been a while since I smoked
weed, just because I don't like, I'm not like a smoker, that's
not like my thing.
But yeah.
Same.
Yeah Right, but yeah, same.
(02:11):
But I remember the last time Ihad an edible it was years ago.
Those are different story.
Oh my god, I remember I was myday off of work.
So my boyfriend at the time weI had the day off of work.
So we were like, all right,like let's do some, or like, or
I don't know whatever the fuckyou bought, eat an edible.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Eat an edible so.
I had just like a.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Do some pot.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah right, you want to do some pot, so I was.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I ate a little bit of it, not that much.
And I was like laying on thebed and I thought I was like on
a magic carpet, like I wasfucking flying, but it wasn't
fun, like I was upset.
I was like on a magic carpet,like I was fucking flying, but
it wasn't fun, like I was upsetI was.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
And then I ended up crying and I was like I don't
want to be high anymore.
So you turned into like anedible gremlin.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yes, but like I remember the whole thing and I
was just like sick, like it mademe sick.
And then the next day I had togo to work and I was wait at
this place and I told one of theother waitresses I was like,
hey, I'm gonna be useless todaybecause I'm still high from the
day before, and like I reallyneed you to kind of like pick up
my slack.
Is that okay?
(03:12):
And she was cracking up.
She's like oh, I've been therebefore, don't worry, I got you.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
And so I like basically got paid to just like
stand in the corner anddisassociate yeah, it was a
terrible time that sounds fun tome, but yeah sometimes I mean
eat edibles are differentbecause it like you ingest them
yeah so it just digests thechemicals differently, so it
stays in your body, and so Ithought I was gonna die yeah, do
you?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
remember hearing it was like years ago, it was like
this off-duty police officercalled 9-1-1 because he yes,
I've read that recording yeah,he thought him and his wife
thought that they were likeoverdosing.
Yeah I was like eight weedbronies yeah, and I was like I I
thought it was funny at thetime and then after that
experience, I was like I really,yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I've never had that experience.
Like I wish I could.
I mean not, but like I'm notencouraging that, but like no,
they're.
You know they do.
It's a different vibe, but Iprefer smoking.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Yeah, it's just, it's not my thing.
Yeah, it's not for everyone.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
That's fine.
Like you're more of a drinkerthan I am, yeah, you like
alcohol, more hard alcohol?
I don't really.
I'd rather choose weed overhard alcohol.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Like a shot.
Yeah, exactly, oh god a shot?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
no, no way, you don't want to.
My mom has good advice.
She said the shots are never agood idea, and she's not wrong
it's my only idea and that'swhere the gremlin stories were
born and that's how we got thepodcast.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah, exactly well, speaking of gremlin-ing out.
Yes, the very, very first timewe attempted to film, and then I
had an issue A gremlin night.
I had a gremlin night, but itwas too late for her to go home.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Because she lives far .
That's why booking her quoteunquote is a challenge.
Yeah, because she's far away.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
In an undisclosed location yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
My secret lair.
She was far so she had to gohome.
And it was far and she was justlike I'm just going to stay in
LA.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, that's not what happened actually.
Well, quite, Not quite Whatever.
Well, close enough, but yeah no, we.
I decided to stay up herebecause it was taking us a
little longer to get through theepisode and we hadn't planned
on, and so I was like we'regoing to stay up here, I'll stay
the night here and finish it.
And then shit went down.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, shit went down, and I was like all right, well,
I'm already up here.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
It's too late because I take the train up.
So I was like it's too late totake the train back.
The train stopped running.
So you're like I'm in LA, I'min LA, let's just keep going, so
I hit up my friend and thenyeah, so I went out.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yes, and that's where our first topic comes in,
because the next day I was liketexting her.
I was like, oh my God, I'm sosorry, blah blah, she's like,
don't worry about it.
I, oh, you did.
And then she started talkingabout this guy and he was so
cute and they had like a soulconnection or whatever the hell
you said.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And then I thought I met like we, he seemed familiar,
like our souls met before.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
And I was like, oh, that's so cute and she's like at
our wedding.
You know I can thank you andyou know, tell the story about
how our drunken night turnedinto this.
You know, love story at ourwedding drunken night turned
into this.
You know, love story at ourwedding blah, blah, blah.
And then a week later I waslike, oh, how is he?
She's like oh, I'm not talkingto him anymore.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Never mind.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Never mind, and I was like, oh okay.
Well, I guess I don't get athank you at the wedding, but
whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
It was cute, but no, we're not.
That that night means nothingnow.
No, it was fun.
I mean, it was a fun night, Ihad a good time, so like it did
stop in the blow and like we hadfun, yeah, and you know, I was
in love for like a week and thenI shouldn't, as it usually does
with my constant state oflimerence she isn't.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, so that was what we wanted to talk about is
her constant state of limerence.
I don't do it on purpose no I,it's just your default yeah, you
default setting you meet a guyand then I fall in love
instantly yeah, and you plan thelife together and then, um, you
see them as people like whothey like who they actually are
and then you're like, oh, nevermind well, like love bombing
(07:21):
works on me because I'm like whywouldn't someone love me right
away?
Love.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Bombing works on everyone well, yeah, but like to
me, I'm like it's not lovebombing, like I see all the
signs and the red flags and I'mlike it's not love bombing.
Like he loves me, he's like I'mamazing right but like no,
that's delusion bitch no, that'sdelusion.
but in my head I'm like no,that's not a red flag.
I'm colorblind, I don't seethat.
I don't see that, I don't seethat.
Nope, nope.
But yeah, so I fall in love,like really quickly.
(07:45):
I'm like, oh, everything'sperfect.
But in my defense, this onerecent one was pretty like like
so since that recording or that.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
That lost episode.
This has happened to her atleast like twice yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Well, two and a half.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I was going to say two, three times, and each time
I'm like so excited to like hearthe story.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
And then Two out of the three, two of them got back
with their exes.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, that's yeah lovely yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
But the other one, the most recent one in my
defense, like we had a lot incommon.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah, more than like before.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, I felt like it was a little different, but I
was planning on living in a van.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I was like you know what, how about you completely
rearrange your fictional lifefor these people?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, I was like you know what, I will move to
another state, yeah, and I don'tcare about this.
But yeah, he wants to live in avan for a year and make content
Cool, I'm down, sure.
Oh my god, it sounded kind offun it sounds.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
That sounds terrible.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
If some guy, if the, if the I already had a pinterest
board in my dream crud, you hada pinterest board before I,
like before he brought that up,like I had seen like one of my
friends well, not friends likeinstagram friends yeah like took
a cool sprinter, like amercedes sprinter van and like
built like a van in it and likelived out of it and he's like a
(09:11):
dj and travels and like lives inthere with his dog and so like
I thought that was pretty cooland so I already had a pinterest
board made for van life.
It just happened to come inhandy, yeah, and I was like oh,
actually I already have a coupleboard pins on my board on
pinterest.
Oh, my god van life, I spelledit with the y, o, y, f?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
e don't know why don't know why did you make it
in like?
2016 um 2017 okay, that's why Ispelled it with a y and yeah,
and you know, yeah, 2017, yeahenough said but um, yeah, that
was pre pre-COVID.
Pre-covid yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
But anyways, yeah, so it was not another love match,
so we'll keep trying.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
But yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Maybe the next one.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
She'll check back in a couple of weeks.
I'll let you know.
Yeah, no, I don't worry.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I told her.
I was like yeah, so startplanning, because, like, we're
going to elope in Vegas, becausethat's like my dream wedding.
I don't want a wedding, I justwant to go to Vegas, get married
and like, have a sick ass dressand party responsibly.
And then you know whoever wantsto come, come.
And then like we'll just make,have cool pictures and like
(10:22):
there you go.
Yeah, that's that.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
So we're planning the wedding, we're just waiting for
the groom.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah, I expect a hot young billionaire to show up at
my door while I'm just stayinginside.
You're like I don't go anywhereon scroll on social media and
I'm just hoping he shows up.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
So if you're out there, didn't you kind of have
like a limerence thing with theguy who kept delivering all your
Taylor Swift merch?
No, I just love him but he hasno idea, I just love him because
he delivers my merch.
Oh, you don't like him, no, Ijust like.
Is his name like Geraldo?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Geraldo, but no, I don't know what happened to him,
but it doesn't show me theirpicture anymore.
I just love him because hedelivered the merch.
I was like I didn't think hewas hot oh okay, or like want
him Meanwhile she's staring atthe picture.
No, I just like, was like oh,it's my guy, my guy yes, my guy
Gerardo coming through.
(11:15):
Yes, my merch guy, but heprobably was like, so I always
wondered if he was like.
Damn, I have to go to thishouse again.
Or like yes, I get to go, or hehad no thought about it, right?
So I had a parasocialrelationship with my UPS driver.
I made up like a lot ofscenarios.
I had a lot of questions forhim about his life, but I'll
never know the answer.
But, yeah, that's that.
(11:36):
On that Till next time.
Yeah, that was my love lifepretty much in a nutshell.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
So, and then we were wanting to talk about the first
time, about, like, the hear meout, oh yeah, which I have
talked about already.
You guys already know my LuciusMalfoy hear me out, but she has
a couple.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I have three.
Well, one of them is not a hearme out, one of them I already
know.
And I gave her major side eyebecause I was like are you
kidding me me, you gave me aside eye for all three of them
well one of them, I figured itout.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
One of them is not really a hear me out but the
first one that I know you'regonna say I was like ugh gross.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I get it.
Unfortunately hear me out,naughty Healy and I'm a huge
Swifty.
You know this so obviously.
But, taylor, I get it.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I don't get it.
I get it, I don't.
I would not want that mouthtouching me I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
We could share a cigarette.
We can share a cigarette.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Doesn't he pretend that he's like drunk or high on
stage?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
well, yeah, that's his whole thing.
I'm not really in like a 1975fan, except for one song which I
have been obsessed with foreverand I just like realized it was
a 1975 song, the 1975 song.
But I don't really know how togo about saying that a the 1975
song whatever the band, yeah,the band, the 1975, whatever
(12:58):
anyways, I didn't know it wastheir song and so I've been
singing it for years, notknowing it was Maddie Healy this
whole time.
But yeah, that's my one, hearme out, but like I get it, but I
don't know I could see why youwouldn't get that one.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Yeah, it's understandable.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
And then I don't know if anyone's a Sleep Token fan,
but Vessel from Sleep Token.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I didn't know who it was, but she did show me the
video and I was, like you, getit Interesting.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, in full.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Well, it's interesting because we don't
know what his face looks like.
Yeah, well, we're just yeah,and that's the body.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
That's the whole thing with the sleep token lore.
They don't want theiridentities revealed, they want
to remain private.
It's about the music.
There's so much lore about them, them I could go into it for
detail about it forever, but Iwon't bore you with it.
And also I don't fullyunderstand everything because
I'm new to the fandom.
But the lead singer, vessel, ismy hear me out.
(13:54):
They do paint themselvesentirely like all black and so
and then wear masks so you can'tsee their face.
And then also their music isamazing.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
So I'll make sure to post them in instagram stories
so that you guys can see andthen the last one.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
That's not I hear me out at all, but andy black or
andy beersack is his last name,but he's the lead singer of
black veil brides is his lastname, but he's the lead singer
of black veil brides hot.
Is that the guy you showed mewith the?
You said his eyes like glassthis is perfect ocean eyes and
this perfect glass, glass, oceanglass, blue ocean eyes, yeah
yeah, I didn't think she waslike looking at me like I'm
(14:31):
crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah, he's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I can't like I would just get lost in his eyes
talking to him.
I wouldn't listen to a damnthing he said.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I'd be like okay yeah , I didn't think he was all that
cute jail, immediate jail butyou and I have like, like.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I have very different taste.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I have a very different taste and also if we
lined up, like all my exes, it'sthere's no like type yeah well,
if you I mean, I mean I couldnarrow it down, I mean my
weakness yeah yeah then I have,like you know, but yeah, I think
our difference, like the ourtaste difference in men, is um
very different yeah, like it'sfar and wide, except for we do
(15:11):
have one shared similar crush,which, unfortunately, he's kind
of fallen off for me as well,but it's jack schlossberg the
kennedy grandson he is was sofucking cute he's so hot he had
the kennedy hair that you likewant to run your fingers through
(15:33):
and swoop.
Yeah, he had a little swooptyswoop in the front and you just
want to and he was like workingas like a political
correspondent for.
Vogue and he went to like theDNC.
And it was like he was likesuper into like politics and
then Trump won and I feel likehe kind of lost it.
Yeah, understandably.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Because they are.
Who didn't they are.
They are tarnishing hisfamily's legacy.
He's a Kennedy.
He's the last living not lastliving, only living grandson of
JFK.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
So he's you know.
He posts weird content, like onInstagram and TikTok.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
And that's how we found him.
Originally was TikTok, ofcourse, because you know we
already talked about TikTok acouple weeks ago.
So, yeah, where else would Ifind anything Right?
Maybe my husband's on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
So yeah, where else would I find anything?
Right?
Maybe my husband's on tiktok.
So, yeah, we fell in love withhim and we're like, oh my god,
he's so cute.
Oh my like, we love him.
He's a little kooky, but youknow we're all kooky.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And then he shaved his hair he like first he cut
his hair and then he buzzed hishair and, and I have never been
the same.
No, Because before he wore likesuits and like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
He looked like a Kennedy.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Or maybe we just had this idea of who he was and then
we got to know him we were inlimerence with him.
We were in limerence with JackSchlossberg.
See, it's not my fault, ithappened.
It happened to the best of us,but yeah, he got a haircut and
then lost it, but you can growyour hair back, jack, and I'm
still there for you, she's dyingto be Jacqueline Kennedy.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Hello, dying.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
My name's Jacqueline.
My middle name's Rose, which is, I believe, your sister's name,
not that I looked it up oranything.
Not that she's stalking you,Not that I know but I just know
your family history because I'mwell informed.
Sorry for being cultured.
Sorry for being cultured andknowing American history.
Yeah, yeah, so my name can beJacqueline Kennedy Schlossberg,
(17:29):
jacqueline Rose KennedySchlossberg.
Yeah, because who?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
wouldn't want a partner with the same name as
their grandma and sister.
We're getting into some Freudshit right now Jacqueline Rose
Kennedy Schlossberg.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So, Jack, you can't wink.
But if you're watching onYouTube, Jack, which I know you
are, she's already in limerencewith you.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
You should be in limerence with her.
No.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I still love you and I do appreciate his take on
social media because he actsoutrageous and he says stuff and
he acts crazy.
But it does get our attentionand it gets the people going.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
It gets the conversation going.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
He got me really excited about the election.
He's getting young peopleexcited about politics.
He's like definitely made memore excited about politics.
I'm like I want to go to theDNC, jack speaking.
Why didn't I get tickets?
But yeah, so he's doing goodwork.
I just need him to grow hishair back so he can have that
kennedy swoop and then hit me upthere you go grow your hair out
(18:27):
and hit her up on social media.
Yeah or yeah, I don't know whereI'll show up at my house, but
I'm sure you have connections,so so you can find me.
Find me, anyways.
Yeah, so that's our internetslash.
Celeb crash of the week.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Yeah or not, I mean was Well, I think it's the only
person you and I have everagreed on.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah, that's true, because everyone else, we have
very different tastes.
Yeah, I would say.
You like face tattoos andtroubled people and yeah, and I
like I used to qualify for aarp,yeah, yeah, and have a life
alert around their neck.
You wouldn't know that.
(19:10):
Do you get the?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
subscription.
No, you know what's crazy is myboyfriend because you know he's
of older age, he's 33.
Oh, don't get me started, buthe is.
He keeps.
He's a member of AAA and hekeeps getting these notification
(19:33):
or not, like.
He keeps getting like envelopesand mail delivered to the house
and it's constantly for lifeinsurance, to the point where he
thinks I'm signing him up toget these and he's like are you?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
gonna off me.
You guys have been watching toomany true crime shows.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
100 and I'm like it was a joke at first, and now he
literally gets them every singleweek and I think he really
thinks like you're and I'm likeno, I'm like they just want like
your money and your business,like this isn't my fault, like
triple a is just like after youdude, and he's like yeah he's
(20:11):
like oh well, maybe.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
I mean if, once you hit a certain age, they just
start mailing.
You get on the list and theystart mailing you stuff, I guess
.
So yeah, it's all targetedmarketing, which we learn about
in school.
There you go.
It's not as creepy as it sounds.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It's not my fault.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, it's a little creepy, but it's just your
demographic, right?
Just tell them Just yourdemographic.
You're getting in that agebracket and they're going to
start targeting you for thesesort of things.
Age bracket and they're goingto start targeting you for these
sort of things.
Absolutely Not my fault here.
Next comes the walkers.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Okay, so I put it out there all the time, like if you
guys need advice, like adviceon anything like going on in
your life, to hit me up.
And I came up with a littlename for it.
I called it Gremlin Guidance.
If you guys have a better namefor it, let me me know.
I just liked it, like for thealliteration, the gremlin
guidance gg gg all right, so Ihave two that I pulled from the
(21:07):
first.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Both are anonymous, actually okay, I haven't heard
these, so I'm getting my likelive reaction yeah, her
spontaneous reaction.
And spontaneous advice.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
All right.
So the first one says it's kindof sad.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
So basically I'm not a good person.
I cheated on my husband and hefound out.
That was three months ago andnow we are attempting to rebuild
our relationship.
We had been distant for monthsbefore and I suppose I was
lonely.
It's not an excuse, just a fact.
I'm wondering what I can do tobasically fix my marriage.
(21:44):
I know it's kind of unfair toask you, but I'm at a loss.
Any advice?
Speaker 2 (21:49):
all right.
Well, um, if you're working itout with him, then he's choosing
to like stick it out.
So either he has to like I'mnot going to bring this up and
we're going to move forward,yeah, like move past it.
Yeah, because there's no wayaround it, but like I don't know
, it's hard to come back fromthat.
That's kind of my like dealbreakers Like I'll put up with a
lot, but like once somebodycheats it's hard because you're
(22:14):
doing at all times.
But also you have to askyourself, like why did you do it
?
Because there's obviously areason.
So if you were happy, thenmaybe it's best that you don't
yeah, work it out, but I'm notmarried, I'm single.
So I don't know.
But if you're gonna like cheat,then it's.
You're not in a relationshipanymore.
You're over it, you're out.
You have one foot out the doorfor sure, so you can try to work
(22:36):
it out.
But you both have to be likesuper open, communicate and like
lay it all out on the table andif you're both on the same page
after all, that then moveforward.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
But it's really hard to do, yeah yeah, I would say I
think you guys need to go totherapy.
That would.
I don't mean that in a bad wayeither.
You're like therapy, no, but Imean you need therapy I mean,
look, we all at the end of theday, we all need therapy I'm in
(23:06):
therapy.
Therapy is great I decided tostart this podcast instead of
finding a therapist, because Idon't know.
Let's just work out my problemswith all of you but yeah,
that's a good, that's goodadvice.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Definitely see a professional help.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Yeah, I think marriage counseling would
probably be like the best betyeah because, yeah, if you're,
if someone's going to choose tostay with you after you cheat
yeah, then that's accepting whathas happened and, yeah, moving
on.
Like you can't bring, you can'tkeep bringing it up was it like
?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
does it say it was physical cheating or emotional
cheating?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
or does it say it.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Just, I mean, I'm not that it matters, like it does
matter, but like yeah, I mean,yeah, it just says I.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Just it just says I cheated on my husband.
But I mean, I'm assuming it'sphysical, based on kind of the
way she's talking I mean at thatpoint, I would I mean yeah,
like you cheated on your husbandso you don't I mean want to be
with them.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
So like go be with the guy you want to be with.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Life is short or maybe she doesn't even want to
be with that guy.
Maybe it's just you want out ofyour marriage.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
I don't know, maybe you have to look inward.
I would go to therapy on yourown and then couples therapy if
you're going to work it out.
But either way, therapy.
Seek professional help in thenicest, most respectful way
possible, like.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Because if you're cheating, you're obviously not
happy.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Not to you know, brag , but I have in the past cheated
before and it's because I wasreally unhappy in the
relationship.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
No one who cheats is.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I don't know from a guy's perspective, from a girl's
perspective, right yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Like it's, you're seeking validation elsewhere
because you're not happy withwhat's happening at home.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yeah, so because you're not happy with what's
happening at home?
Yeah so, and I've been cheatedon multiple times.
So it's hard to come back fromthat and like forgive the person
.
So but if I don't know how likeyou and your husband are, but
just communicate and get therapyyeah, and maybe this is not
meant to be yeah, but if it islike you can work it out and
like if it really is meant to be, then you guys will work it out
(24:58):
.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Right.
And yeah, all right.
The next one is very short.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
OK.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
But I grabbed it.
So I was like let's see,because I wouldn't know how to
answer this on my own.
My partner asked me to dosomething I'm not comfortable
with in the bedroom.
How do I tell him no?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
No period.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, no is comfortable with in the bedroom.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
How do I tell him no, no, period, yeah, no is a full
sentence and just say I'm notcomfortable with that?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I also feel like if, like you, should be comfortable
to tell your partner like no, Idon't want to do that like.
I don't like that, no, and youshouldn't really have to explain
yourself all too much.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
You don't have to explain why you're uncomfortable
with it also she never saidwhat it was.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I, you don't have to.
My nosy ass wants to know.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Yeah, I want to know, but at the same time, like
there's definitely, I have likedefinite no's, I'm not doing
that ever.
Like there's no like what's theword?
Like no, non-negotiables.
Like no, that's absolutely nothappening.
So, like I would just be likeyeah, and if you don't like it,
like that's my boundary and youhave to respect it.
For sure, and respect me andlike if it's only fun if both
(26:00):
people are enjoying it For sure,and like want to be doing it
also.
So just maybe pose it that wayand just be like listen, I don't
think I would have fun doing itand it would be weird because
I'm not enjoying it.
It's like then we're both justnot enjoying an obligation and I
, yeah, exactly, just like poseit that way, and maybe be, like
listen, I don't want to do thisand it's not gonna be fun for me
(26:22):
and I'm uncomfortable.
But also, no is a full sentencefor sure and you don't have to
give an explanation, just likeno, I'm not doing that and I
don't want to, and if he's likea decent partner, then he'll
respect the boundary and then ifnot.
Then you'll see their truecolors and know like, once they
show their true colors, that's,you know, once they show their
(26:43):
true colors, believe them.
So, however he reacts, you'llknow where to go from there that
will kind of be.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
His reaction will kind of be your answer, I think
yeah, like if he's just likedrops and it's like, okay, yeah,
no worries, yeah, be like wecould try and maybe like offer
some other stuff that you arecomfortable doing, that like you
would be into yeah, like youdon't ever want to like kink,
shame someone.
No like don't make them feelbad about it, but be like I
personally.
That's not my thing.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah, be like for me.
I don't want to do that andit's not for me.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
It's not a negotiable , you know like offer things
that maybe like you're into, andthen if you compromise, if you
want, or you could just straightup be like no, yeah, exactly
like I said.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
No, it's a full sentence, definitely, but I like
that.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Good, no is a full sentence I'm gonna start saying
that from now on yeah, it is, Idon't know where I'm gonna say
it, but I'm gonna start sayingthat from now on.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah, what am I gonna say no to all right, and I
pulled gremlin stories.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I love gremlin stories, all right.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I pulled.
I think I pulled three.
Let me peek yes, I pulled three, and we have a bunch of brave
souls.
All of them were signed.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Tee hee.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Bravo All right.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
So the first one is from Sophie.
Oh, she says oh, actually, Iremember this one now.
Sophie, she says oh actually, Iremember this one now.
Okay, so here's the story ofhow a sex toy almost ruined my
relationship, or at least ourdignity.
Oh, it was a Friday night andmy boyfriend and I decided to
try something new after having afew bottles of wine.
(28:13):
We've been together for a whileand the sex sex was great.
But I had this brilliant ideato bring a little toy I had read
about into the bedroom.
Not just any toy a vibratingcock ring.
Supposedly amazing for bothpartners, it even had bluetooth,
bluetooth, bluetooth, what?
(28:36):
Okay, so we get it out of thebox.
That's the most shocking part ofthis, sorry download the app
okay and we're already kind ofgiggling about how quote-unquote
futuristic our sex life hasbecome yeah, I would.
That's pretty funny he puts iton and we're fumbling around
(28:57):
with the settings like we'retrying to launch a rocket.
There are vibration levels,patterns and intensity sliders.
We start messing around andeverything is great at first.
I'm in control with the app,teasing him, turning it up and
down, and he's loving it, untilhe starts to tense up hey, he
(29:18):
said kind of laughing, but alsonot.
It's getting kind of tight.
Oh my God.
I look down and realize Iaccidentally activated this
pulsing constriction mode on theapp.
The ring is vibrating andtightening rhythmically, which
sounds sexy in theory, until yousee your boyfriend staring at
it in total fear.
(29:39):
I tried to turn it off, but Ihad no idea what I even pressed
to make it do that.
He's starting to panic andhonestly, so am I.
I guess I can't.
He's flopping around like he'strying to shake it off, but the
thing is hanging on for dearlife.
I, I go to pull it, but it'skind of stuck.
(29:59):
We're both naked, franticallywrestling with this demon ring
that refuses to let go.
I finally run to the kitchen toget coconut oil and after what
seemed like years, we finallygot it off.
Safe to say, we haven't used itsince.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yeah, understandably, that's really funny.
I don't used it since yeah,understandably, that's really
funny I don't have any story.
That's an original experience,I think.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Or maybe not.
Okay, no kind of yes and no.
When I was like 20, I felt,like you know, being adventurous
and frisky.
And it wasn't, it was avibrating one.
And when I gave it to the guy,I was like and I'm like, by the
way, again 20, superinexperienced I didn't know what
(30:46):
the fuck I was doing.
He was like did you get lubetoo?
And I was like, no, I didn't.
And he was like, hmm, okay, sohe put it on, but then he
couldn't get it off, like wedidn't even use it.
He couldn't get it off becauseit was like this silicone
rubbery material that was likereally uncomfortable and I was
like I don't know what to dowith this.
(31:07):
Like, should we cut it off?
He's like you're going to putscissors near me.
And I was like I don't know Nota bad idea, so he had to get in
the shower and use soap to getit off.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
So I got no use out of it.
And since then, I've never useda sex toy ever.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Which, according to, Sophie, apparently she did it
Understandably.
Those are horror stories.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Horror stories Horror .
I didn't say horror, horror Nothorror Not, yeah, horror Horror
stories.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
I want to make that very clear.
I'm not calling anyone a horror.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
No.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Horror stories.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Horror.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, wow.
All right, okay, no horrorstories.
Yeah, wow.
Okay, that was a real, not aroller coaster, but like that
was quite a great gremlin rightall right thanks for sophie.
That was a great story thankyou, sophie.
You're brave and our next braveand your boyfriend or husband
or whoever that was.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, she said it was her boyfriend.
Poor guy, I'm scared, all right.
Next one is noelle.
She says it was her boyfriend.
Poor guy, I'm scared, all right.
Next one is Noel.
She says it was supposed to bea classy night.
We were all dressed up heels,lashes, tight dresses and ready
to celebrate Jess's birthdaywith bottomless sangrias and bad
decisions.
By the third round of drinks Iwas already loudly insisting I
(32:25):
wasn't even tipsy, which isusually the clearest sign I am
absolutely wasted.
After dinner we walked throughthe downtown plaza pretending we
were in some European rom-com.
Everything felt magical Twinklelights, the soft buzz of
alcohol and the sound of ourobnoxious laughter echoing off
buildings.
Then we passed the fountain.
(32:45):
It was one of those dramatic,tiered ones, glowing blue under
the light.
I don't know whose idea it was,but someone dared me to do a
dramatic model, walk around theedge of the fountain and,
because I have the self-controlof a toddler when I'm drunk, I
took my heels off, handed themto my friend, like I was about
to win America's next top model,and climbed up.
(33:06):
I actually started strong.
I was striking poses, throwingpeace signs, blowing kisses at
imaginary paparazzi.
Then I did a spin, which wouldhave been great, except I
misjudged the turn and my barefoot hit a slick patch of algae
or something and the next thingI knew splash.
I fully, completely fell in thefountain.
(33:28):
My dress is soaked, my hair isruined.
I came up gasping like I hadjust escaped the Titanic.
Love it.
One of my fake lashes floatedaway like a sad little boat.
My friends were crying,laughing, phones out, zero
sympathy.
Jess posted it on her instagramstory with the caption ariel
(33:48):
who, to this day, anytime we gonear a fountain, someone says
feel like taking a swim and Iconsider switching friend groups
.
Lol.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
best noel that's a good one.
That is a good one.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I don't have a story for that one, I don't.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
That's very like a la michael scott yeah, I don't
have quite a story about fallingin a fountain, but I have a
funny story about I was in vegaswith my friend and it involves
the bellagio fountain.
But, um, yeah, my friend livedout there.
I won't name his name but, forprivacy reasons but protect the
innocent yeah, but we were um atone of the casinos and you know
(34:27):
, when you're playing blackjack,they give you, or whatever,
drinks for free.
Yeah, and I was like I canbarely count like regularly.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
So I'm like having him count for me.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Like what is this number?
I'm like counting on my handsplaying blackjack and like we're
winning, of course, becausewe're like, and we're just kept
getting more and more drunk.
And then he like tilted back inhis chair but we kept winning
and then he fell out of hischair.
So once you fall in Vegas,they're like you're out of here,
you're done.
And so they were like you know,of course we're getting kicked
out and we're like we wereleaving anyways.
(34:58):
And then we get to the BellagioFountain and my friend got a
little too drunk and threw up inthe Bellagio fountain.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
I thought you were going to say he climbed in it.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
No, he kind of climbed in it to throw up in it,
but it was like on the side andyeah, but that was, I didn't
get in it or throw up in it, buthe did.
So that's my fountain story.
I don't have a fountain story.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I just thought it was funny.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, that's the only fountain.
There you go.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I've partied fountain party story that involves a lot
of people that have a bellagiofountain story yeah, for sure
for sure.
All right.
The last one is from kate,which I remember.
This one, this one's funny.
She says I don't even knowwhere to start because I'm still
cringing when I think about it.
My boyfriend Jake and I, ohdamn.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Name drop your boyfriend, this poor guy.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
No, protecting this innocent my boyfriend, jake.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I'm a drive-by.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
My boyfriend Jake and I had just left this late night
drive-in movie.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
We didn't want to Drive-in, right, I know it must
be like midwesty, I was gonna um, what I was gonna say?
Speaker 1 (36:10):
yeah, we didn't want the romance to end.
When the movie did, though, weparked in the back corner of the
lot under a broken light,thinking we were being all
stealthy and spontaneous.
One thing led to another and,well you know, the windows
started fogging up Think Titanic.
I love that this audience haslearned about my love of Titanic
(36:31):
that I've never seen.
Oh, that's my one gripe with you, I swear.
The windows started fogging upThink Titanic.
His jeans were somewhere in theback seat and I was straggling
him in the front like we were insome steamy movie montage.
It was all fun and thrill andheavy breathing until bam, bam,
bam.
I swear I almost died.
(36:53):
Right there, a flashlightblasted through the foggy window
and a voice yelled what's goingon in there?
It was a security guard, anactual uniformed middle-aged man
with a walkie-talkie andeverything.
Jake screamed, I screamed and Ifell halfway into the
floorboard trying to grab my bra, while also trying to disappear
(37:13):
off the face of the earth.
Jake scrambled to get his pantson.
The guy just stood there,clearly not impressed, and told
us we had exactly two minutes toquote clean up our little
situation and get off theproperty.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
At least he was cool about it To this day.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Every time we pass that drive-in we both get this
haunted look in our eyes likewe've seen some stuff.
Never again, kate.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
That's definitely a good one, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I mean, I feel like Everyone has that story.
I mean, I don't, I've never got.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Oh, I've never gotten caught.
Oh, awkward.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I'm like everyone has one of those stories.
I mean like car, yes, gottencaught no.
Have you?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Oh no by police or by people All in the above Police
or citizens, Never by citizens.
No, Never by citizens.
I was security guard, police oronce was at Disneyland parking
lot.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
That's risky.
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Yeah, no, I mean, I feel like I've, but it was just
like you know, like making outin the car, Like it's like not
like full blown doing anythingcrazy in there.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
It's just like I don't know, you're in high
school, so you don't haveanywhere to go.
Yeah, you can't have anywhereto go yeah, so we're like at
disneyland, because we would gothere like to hang out, because
we had season passes and he wasmy boyfriend, so we're just like
making out in the car and thenwe get in trouble.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
They can chill with that.
It's just a kid, but I heard.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
I don't know if this is true or not, but I've heard
that, obviously for obviousreasons.
I mean, it makes sense, but ifyou get caught like having sex
in disneyland, you banned forlife.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Because there's children around.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Well, yeah, for a number of reasons but like
banned for life is crazy, butlike I get it.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Obviously, but like.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
If anyone has ever gotten banned from Disneyland,
like my friend Spice, who was onthe podcast remember she had
her pass revoked for 30 daysbecause she punched that dude
Understandable.
They didn't like thatapparently.
I'm surprised it was only likesuspended and not I.
Yeah, I mean, she got lucky.
I think they realized how drunkboth of them were.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
So they were like yeah just whatever.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
But but she, it was just her past that was revoked.
She was able to buy, they weregoing oh yeah, tickets she.
He just bought her a ticket andthey just went in yeah, because
they don't check your like id,right, yeah so yeah, if anyone
has any band from disneylandstories to tell, yeah send those
in and um.
Also, I love kate for namedropping her boyfriend yeah,
kate and jake, that's funny ifyou know what kate and the jake.
(39:38):
At first I was like this storyin person.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
This sounds like the plot of greece summer, loving in
your car at the drive-in.
I was like are you gonna breakinto?
Song, but no I know, yeah, andthen, yeah, I think I thought
everyone had one of thosestories.
Similar thing happened to me atthe irvine spectrum.
Oh my god, the security guardcame.
He wrote up like some card orsomething and like was gonna
call our parents oh my god, itwas the same boyfriend like high
(40:03):
school boyfriend jeez, you'rejust going around town with this
dude.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Well, I mean, we were in high school he had a car.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
What were we going to do?
Yeah, but we never, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Yeah, I've never gotten caught.
I've had close calls where wehad to like hunker down and be
like like look around, butusually like people just pass by
.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
But I was able to find, like, why am I bragging?
I was able to find really likedark streets that no one went
down, which that sounds like sothat's such a weird good idea,
great idea good for you, I'mgreat you knew all the spots,
yeah yeah, it makes me soundlike a slut.
Yeah, we can just cut thiswhole part out.
It's fine, I'll leave it cutthis whole part out.
(40:45):
All right.
Well, that's our episode.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
We did it.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
We did it.
You want to tell your socials.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Yes, it is at J Rose.
Well, at four underscores.
J Rose on TikTok and Instagram.
Yeah, so at one, two, three,four J-A-Y-R-O-S-E.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
There you go.
Yeah, and make sure to followher on Instagram and TikTok.
We're trying to build TikTok,yes, so help us Make sure to.
I go live on TikTok sometimes.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Yeah, she likes to do live.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
She posts way more content than I do.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
She's much more fun to look at.
Barely, I barely post content.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
I try, I try, we're trying.
Here we're going to go viral.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
Cheers to going viral .
Cheers to going viral.
Thanks for having me again.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Of course, and then you have to make sure to follow
the podcast Emily to Gremlin Podon Instagram and TikTok.
If you have your own gremlinstories or need gremlin guidance
, email me at emilytogremleypodat gmailcom.
Also, if you want to watch thisepisode, emily to gramily pod
on youtube, make sure to like,follow, share, subscribe.
(41:51):
Do all the things make ithappen for us, and she finished
her drink so cheers to you,cheers to me, cheers to the
podcast.
Cheers to kate and jake.
Yes and bye and bye, bye.
cheers welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Thanks for having me back oh, that's actually good
round two round two.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
She's back again.
I I was able to book her fromher very busy schedule.
So booked and busy.
So, booked and busy.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
My people arranged it so I could be here.
Her people called my people, wehad them arrange it and I
rescheduled some board meetings.
All those conference calls,yeah, and then you know like
Gaga Bus Club.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Another club, another club.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
No sleep.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Do it again.
So we're back with Jay Backagain If you couldn't tell With
the bestie Jay, and we haveanother champagne cocktail,
because girl does champagne.
Yeah, champagne is my favorite,so we did a champagne mojito
which I don't know.
I've been on like a mojito kickwithin the past like month or
so I mean, I like champagne.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
I haven't had ever had a champagne mojito, but this
one's good.
Yeah, it's refreshing.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I gave it to her and you could see like little itty
bits of the mint leaves andshe's like is this weed?
I'm not mad if it is no I'm aproud uh gardener, 420 friendly.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, no, I wasn't mad and I was like well, you're
like is this?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I ate it, and then she was like it's mint.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I was like, oh yeah, I taste that now.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Oh well, forget it, I don't care yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But then I thought, wow, this would be good thc
infused cocktail.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
But she did say that and then I said I was worried we
might not finish the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Wow, you don't frequent garden.
You don't garden frequently.
No, you don't frequent thegarden garden frequently.
I haven't.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I feel like, okay, it's been a while since I smoked
weed, just because I don't like, I'm not like a smoker, that's
not like my thing.
But yeah.
Same.
Yeah Right, but yeah, same.
(02:11):
But I remember the last time Ihad an edible it was years ago.
Those are different story.
Oh my god, I remember I was myday off of work.
So my boyfriend at the time weI had the day off of work.
So we were like, all right,like let's do some, or like, or
I don't know whatever the fuckyou bought, eat an edible.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Eat an edible so.
I had just like a.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Do some pot.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah right, you want to do some pot, so I was.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I ate a little bit of it, not that much.
And I was like laying on thebed and I thought I was like on
a magic carpet, like I wasfucking flying, but it wasn't
fun, like I was upset.
I was like on a magic carpet,like I was fucking flying, but
it wasn't fun, like I was upsetI was.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
And then I ended up crying and I was like I don't
want to be high anymore.
So you turned into like anedible gremlin.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yes, but like I remember the whole thing and I
was just like sick, like it mademe sick.
And then the next day I had togo to work and I was wait at
this place and I told one of theother waitresses I was like,
hey, I'm gonna be useless todaybecause I'm still high from the
day before, and like I reallyneed you to kind of like pick up
my slack.
Is that okay?
(03:12):
And she was cracking up.
She's like oh, I've been therebefore, don't worry, I got you.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
And so I like basically got paid to just like
stand in the corner anddisassociate yeah, it was a
terrible time that sounds fun tome, but yeah sometimes I mean
eat edibles are differentbecause it like you ingest them
yeah so it just digests thechemicals differently, so it
stays in your body, and so Ithought I was gonna die yeah, do
you?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
remember hearing it was like years ago, it was like
this off-duty police officercalled 9-1-1 because he yes,
I've read that recording yeah,he thought him and his wife
thought that they were likeoverdosing.
Yeah I was like eight weedbronies yeah, and I was like I I
thought it was funny at thetime and then after that
experience, I was like I really,yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I've never had that experience.
Like I wish I could.
I mean not, but like I'm notencouraging that, but like no,
they're.
You know they do.
It's a different vibe, but Iprefer smoking.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Yeah, it's just, it's not my thing.
Yeah, it's not for everyone.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
That's fine.
Like you're more of a drinkerthan I am, yeah, you like
alcohol, more hard alcohol?
I don't really.
I'd rather choose weed overhard alcohol.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Like a shot.
Yeah, exactly, oh god a shot?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
no, no way, you don't want to.
My mom has good advice.
She said the shots are never agood idea, and she's not wrong
it's my only idea and that'swhere the gremlin stories were
born and that's how we got thepodcast.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah, exactly well, speaking of gremlin-ing out.
Yes, the very, very first timewe attempted to film, and then I
had an issue A gremlin night.
I had a gremlin night, but itwas too late for her to go home.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Because she lives far .
That's why booking her quoteunquote is a challenge.
Yeah, because she's far away.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
In an undisclosed location yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
My secret lair.
She was far so she had to gohome.
And it was far and she was justlike I'm just going to stay in
LA.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, that's not what happened actually.
Well, quite, Not quite Whatever.
Well, close enough, but yeah no, we.
I decided to stay up herebecause it was taking us a
little longer to get through theepisode and we hadn't planned
on, and so I was like we'regoing to stay up here, I'll stay
the night here and finish it.
And then shit went down.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, shit went down, and I was like all right, well,
I'm already up here.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
It's too late because I take the train up.
So I was like it's too late totake the train back.
The train stopped running.
So you're like I'm in LA, I'min LA, let's just keep going, so
I hit up my friend and thenyeah, so I went out.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yes, and that's where our first topic comes in,
because the next day I was liketexting her.
I was like, oh my God, I'm sosorry, blah blah, she's like,
don't worry about it.
I, oh, you did.
And then she started talkingabout this guy and he was so
cute and they had like a soulconnection or whatever the hell
you said.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And then I thought I met like we, he seemed familiar,
like our souls met before.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
And I was like, oh, that's so cute and she's like at
our wedding.
You know I can thank you andyou know, tell the story about
how our drunken night turnedinto this.
You know, love story at ourwedding drunken night turned
into this.
You know, love story at ourwedding blah, blah, blah.
And then a week later I waslike, oh, how is he?
She's like oh, I'm not talkingto him anymore.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Never mind.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Never mind, and I was like, oh okay.
Well, I guess I don't get athank you at the wedding, but
whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
It was cute, but no, we're not.
That that night means nothingnow.
No, it was fun.
I mean, it was a fun night, Ihad a good time, so like it did
stop in the blow and like we hadfun, yeah, and you know, I was
in love for like a week and thenI shouldn't, as it usually does
with my constant state oflimerence she isn't.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, so that was what we wanted to talk about is
her constant state of limerence.
I don't do it on purpose no I,it's just your default yeah, you
default setting you meet a guyand then I fall in love
instantly yeah, and you plan thelife together and then, um, you
see them as people like whothey like who they actually are
and then you're like, oh, nevermind well, like love bombing
(07:21):
works on me because I'm like whywouldn't someone love me right
away?
Love.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Bombing works on everyone well, yeah, but like to
me, I'm like it's not lovebombing, like I see all the
signs and the red flags and I'mlike it's not love bombing.
Like he loves me, he's like I'mamazing right but like no,
that's delusion bitch no, that'sdelusion.
but in my head I'm like no,that's not a red flag.
I'm colorblind, I don't seethat.
I don't see that, I don't seethat.
Nope, nope.
But yeah, so I fall in love,like really quickly.
(07:45):
I'm like, oh, everything'sperfect.
But in my defense, this onerecent one was pretty like like
so since that recording or that.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
That lost episode.
This has happened to her atleast like twice yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Well, two and a half.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I was going to say two, three times, and each time
I'm like so excited to like hearthe story.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
And then Two out of the three, two of them got back
with their exes.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, that's yeah lovely yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
But the other one, the most recent one in my
defense, like we had a lot incommon.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah, more than like before.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, I felt like it was a little different, but I
was planning on living in a van.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I was like you know what, how about you completely
rearrange your fictional lifefor these people?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, I was like you know what, I will move to
another state, yeah, and I don'tcare about this.
But yeah, he wants to live in avan for a year and make content
Cool, I'm down, sure.
Oh my god, it sounded kind offun it sounds.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
That sounds terrible.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
If some guy, if the, if the I already had a pinterest
board in my dream crud, you hada pinterest board before I,
like before he brought that up,like I had seen like one of my
friends well, not friends likeinstagram friends yeah like took
a cool sprinter, like amercedes sprinter van and like
built like a van in it and likelived out of it and he's like a
(09:11):
dj and travels and like lives inthere with his dog and so like
I thought that was pretty cooland so I already had a pinterest
board made for van life.
It just happened to come inhandy, yeah, and I was like oh,
actually I already have a coupleboard pins on my board on
pinterest.
Oh, my god van life, I spelledit with the y, o, y, f?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
e don't know why don't know why did you make it
in like?
2016 um 2017 okay, that's why Ispelled it with a y and yeah,
and you know, yeah, 2017, yeahenough said but um, yeah, that
was pre pre-COVID.
Pre-covid yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
But anyways, yeah, so it was not another love match,
so we'll keep trying.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
But yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Maybe the next one.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
She'll check back in a couple of weeks.
I'll let you know.
Yeah, no, I don't worry.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I told her.
I was like yeah, so startplanning, because, like, we're
going to elope in Vegas, becausethat's like my dream wedding.
I don't want a wedding, I justwant to go to Vegas, get married
and like, have a sick ass dressand party responsibly.
And then you know whoever wantsto come, come.
And then like we'll just make,have cool pictures and like
(10:22):
there you go.
Yeah, that's that.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
So we're planning the wedding, we're just waiting for
the groom.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah, I expect a hot young billionaire to show up at
my door while I'm just stayinginside.
You're like I don't go anywhereon scroll on social media and
I'm just hoping he shows up.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
So if you're out there, didn't you kind of have
like a limerence thing with theguy who kept delivering all your
Taylor Swift merch?
No, I just love him but he hasno idea, I just love him because
he delivers my merch.
Oh, you don't like him, no, Ijust like.
Is his name like Geraldo?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Geraldo, but no, I don't know what happened to him,
but it doesn't show me theirpicture anymore.
I just love him because hedelivered the merch.
I was like I didn't think hewas hot oh okay, or like want
him Meanwhile she's staring atthe picture.
No, I just like, was like oh,it's my guy, my guy yes, my guy
Gerardo coming through.
(11:15):
Yes, my merch guy, but heprobably was like, so I always
wondered if he was like.
Damn, I have to go to thishouse again.
Or like yes, I get to go, or hehad no thought about it, right?
So I had a parasocialrelationship with my UPS driver.
I made up like a lot ofscenarios.
I had a lot of questions forhim about his life, but I'll
never know the answer.
But, yeah, that's that.
(11:36):
On that Till next time.
Yeah, that was my love lifepretty much in a nutshell.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
So, and then we were wanting to talk about the first
time, about, like, the hear meout, oh yeah, which I have
talked about already.
You guys already know my LuciusMalfoy hear me out, but she has
a couple.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I have three.
Well, one of them is not a hearme out, one of them I already
know.
And I gave her major side eyebecause I was like are you
kidding me me, you gave me aside eye for all three of them
well one of them, I figured itout.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
One of them is not really a hear me out but the
first one that I know you'regonna say I was like ugh gross.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I get it.
Unfortunately hear me out,naughty Healy and I'm a huge
Swifty.
You know this so obviously.
But, taylor, I get it.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I don't get it.
I get it, I don't.
I would not want that mouthtouching me I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
We could share a cigarette.
We can share a cigarette.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Doesn't he pretend that he's like drunk or high on
stage?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
well, yeah, that's his whole thing.
I'm not really in like a 1975fan, except for one song which I
have been obsessed with foreverand I just like realized it was
a 1975 song, the 1975 song.
But I don't really know how togo about saying that a the 1975
song whatever the band, yeah,the band, the 1975, whatever
(12:58):
anyways, I didn't know it wastheir song and so I've been
singing it for years, notknowing it was Maddie Healy this
whole time.
But yeah, that's my one, hearme out, but like I get it, but I
don't know I could see why youwouldn't get that one.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Yeah, it's understandable.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
And then I don't know if anyone's a Sleep Token fan,
but Vessel from Sleep Token.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I didn't know who it was, but she did show me the
video and I was, like you, getit Interesting.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, in full.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Well, it's interesting because we don't
know what his face looks like.
Yeah, well, we're just yeah,and that's the body.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
That's the whole thing with the sleep token lore.
They don't want theiridentities revealed, they want
to remain private.
It's about the music.
There's so much lore about them, them I could go into it for
detail about it forever, but Iwon't bore you with it.
And also I don't fullyunderstand everything because
I'm new to the fandom.
But the lead singer, vessel, ismy hear me out.
(13:54):
They do paint themselvesentirely like all black and so
and then wear masks so you can'tsee their face.
And then also their music isamazing.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
So I'll make sure to post them in instagram stories
so that you guys can see andthen the last one.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
That's not I hear me out at all, but andy black or
andy beersack is his last name,but he's the lead singer of
black veil brides is his lastname, but he's the lead singer
of black veil brides hot.
Is that the guy you showed mewith the?
You said his eyes like glassthis is perfect ocean eyes and
this perfect glass, glass, oceanglass, blue ocean eyes, yeah
yeah, I didn't think she waslike looking at me like I'm
(14:31):
crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah, he's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I can't like I would just get lost in his eyes
talking to him.
I wouldn't listen to a damnthing he said.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I'd be like okay yeah , I didn't think he was all that
cute jail, immediate jail butyou and I have like, like.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I have very different taste.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I have a very different taste and also if we
lined up, like all my exes, it'sthere's no like type yeah well,
if you I mean, I mean I couldnarrow it down, I mean my
weakness yeah yeah then I have,like you know, but yeah, I think
our difference, like the ourtaste difference in men, is um
very different yeah, like it'sfar and wide, except for we do
(15:11):
have one shared similar crush,which, unfortunately, he's kind
of fallen off for me as well,but it's jack schlossberg the
kennedy grandson he is was sofucking cute he's so hot he had
the kennedy hair that you likewant to run your fingers through
(15:33):
and swoop.
Yeah, he had a little swooptyswoop in the front and you just
want to and he was like workingas like a political
correspondent for.
Vogue and he went to like theDNC.
And it was like he was likesuper into like politics and
then Trump won and I feel likehe kind of lost it.
Yeah, understandably.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Because they are.
Who didn't they are.
They are tarnishing hisfamily's legacy.
He's a Kennedy.
He's the last living not lastliving, only living grandson of
JFK.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
So he's you know.
He posts weird content, like onInstagram and TikTok.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
And that's how we found him.
Originally was TikTok, ofcourse, because you know we
already talked about TikTok acouple weeks ago.
So, yeah, where else would Ifind anything Right?
Maybe my husband's on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
So yeah, where else would I find anything?
Right?
Maybe my husband's on tiktok.
So, yeah, we fell in love withhim and we're like, oh my god,
he's so cute.
Oh my like, we love him.
He's a little kooky, but youknow we're all kooky.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
And then he shaved his hair he like first he cut
his hair and then he buzzed hishair and, and I have never been
the same.
No, Because before he wore likesuits and like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
He looked like a Kennedy.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Or maybe we just had this idea of who he was and then
we got to know him we were inlimerence with him.
We were in limerence with JackSchlossberg.
See, it's not my fault, ithappened.
It happened to the best of us,but yeah, he got a haircut and
then lost it, but you can growyour hair back, jack, and I'm
still there for you, she's dyingto be Jacqueline Kennedy.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Hello, dying.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
My name's Jacqueline.
My middle name's Rose, which is, I believe, your sister's name,
not that I looked it up oranything.
Not that she's stalking you,Not that I know but I just know
your family history because I'mwell informed.
Sorry for being cultured.
Sorry for being cultured andknowing American history.
Yeah, yeah, so my name can beJacqueline Kennedy Schlossberg,
(17:29):
jacqueline Rose KennedySchlossberg.
Yeah, because who?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
wouldn't want a partner with the same name as
their grandma and sister.
We're getting into some Freudshit right now Jacqueline Rose
Kennedy Schlossberg.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So, Jack, you can't wink.
But if you're watching onYouTube, Jack, which I know you
are, she's already in limerencewith you.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
You should be in limerence with her.
No.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I still love you and I do appreciate his take on
social media because he actsoutrageous and he says stuff and
he acts crazy.
But it does get our attentionand it gets the people going.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
It gets the conversation going.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
He got me really excited about the election.
He's getting young peopleexcited about politics.
He's like definitely made memore excited about politics.
I'm like I want to go to theDNC, jack speaking.
Why didn't I get tickets?
But yeah, so he's doing goodwork.
I just need him to grow hishair back so he can have that
kennedy swoop and then hit me upthere you go grow your hair out
(18:27):
and hit her up on social media.
Yeah or yeah, I don't know whereI'll show up at my house, but
I'm sure you have connections,so so you can find me.
Find me, anyways.
Yeah, so that's our internetslash.
Celeb crash of the week.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Yeah or not, I mean was Well, I think it's the only
person you and I have everagreed on.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah, that's true, because everyone else, we have
very different tastes.
Yeah, I would say.
You like face tattoos andtroubled people and yeah, and I
like I used to qualify for aarp,yeah, yeah, and have a life
alert around their neck.
You wouldn't know that.
(19:10):
Do you get the?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
subscription.
No, you know what's crazy is myboyfriend because you know he's
of older age, he's 33.
Oh, don't get me started, buthe is.
He keeps.
He's a member of AAA and hekeeps getting these notification
(19:33):
or not, like.
He keeps getting like envelopesand mail delivered to the house
and it's constantly for lifeinsurance, to the point where he
thinks I'm signing him up toget these and he's like are you?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
gonna off me.
You guys have been watching toomany true crime shows.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
100 and I'm like it was a joke at first, and now he
literally gets them every singleweek and I think he really
thinks like you're and I'm likeno, I'm like they just want like
your money and your business,like this isn't my fault, like
triple a is just like after youdude, and he's like yeah he's
(20:11):
like oh well, maybe.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
I mean if, once you hit a certain age, they just
start mailing.
You get on the list and theystart mailing you stuff, I guess
.
So yeah, it's all targetedmarketing, which we learn about
in school.
There you go.
It's not as creepy as it sounds.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
It's not my fault.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, it's a little creepy, but it's just your
demographic, right?
Just tell them Just yourdemographic.
You're getting in that agebracket and they're going to
start targeting you for thesesort of things.
Age bracket and they're goingto start targeting you for these
sort of things.
Absolutely Not my fault here.
Next comes the walkers.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Okay, so I put it out there all the time, like if you
guys need advice, like adviceon anything like going on in
your life, to hit me up.
And I came up with a littlename for it.
I called it Gremlin Guidance.
If you guys have a better namefor it, let me me know.
I just liked it, like for thealliteration, the gremlin
guidance gg gg all right, so Ihave two that I pulled from the
(21:07):
first.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Both are anonymous, actually okay, I haven't heard
these, so I'm getting my likelive reaction yeah, her
spontaneous reaction.
And spontaneous advice.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
All right.
So the first one says it's kindof sad.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
So basically I'm not a good person.
I cheated on my husband and hefound out.
That was three months ago andnow we are attempting to rebuild
our relationship.
We had been distant for monthsbefore and I suppose I was
lonely.
It's not an excuse, just a fact.
I'm wondering what I can do tobasically fix my marriage.
(21:44):
I know it's kind of unfair toask you, but I'm at a loss.
Any advice?
Speaker 2 (21:49):
all right.
Well, um, if you're working itout with him, then he's choosing
to like stick it out.
So either he has to like I'mnot going to bring this up and
we're going to move forward,yeah, like move past it.
Yeah, because there's no wayaround it, but like I don't know
, it's hard to come back fromthat.
That's kind of my like dealbreakers Like I'll put up with a
lot, but like once somebodycheats it's hard because you're
(22:14):
doing at all times.
But also you have to askyourself, like why did you do it
?
Because there's obviously areason.
So if you were happy, thenmaybe it's best that you don't
yeah, work it out, but I'm notmarried, I'm single.
So I don't know.
But if you're gonna like cheat,then it's.
You're not in a relationshipanymore.
You're over it, you're out.
You have one foot out the doorfor sure, so you can try to work
(22:36):
it out.
But you both have to be likesuper open, communicate and like
lay it all out on the table andif you're both on the same page
after all, that then moveforward.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
But it's really hard to do, yeah yeah, I would say I
think you guys need to go totherapy.
That would.
I don't mean that in a bad wayeither.
You're like therapy, no, but Imean you need therapy I mean,
look, we all at the end of theday, we all need therapy I'm in
(23:06):
therapy.
Therapy is great I decided tostart this podcast instead of
finding a therapist, because Idon't know.
Let's just work out my problemswith all of you but yeah,
that's a good, that's goodadvice.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Definitely see a professional help.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Yeah, I think marriage counseling would
probably be like the best betyeah because, yeah, if you're,
if someone's going to choose tostay with you after you cheat
yeah, then that's accepting whathas happened and, yeah, moving
on.
Like you can't bring, you can'tkeep bringing it up was it like
?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
does it say it was physical cheating or emotional
cheating?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
or does it say it.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Just, I mean, I'm not that it matters, like it does
matter, but like yeah, I mean,yeah, it just says I.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Just it just says I cheated on my husband.
But I mean, I'm assuming it'sphysical, based on kind of the
way she's talking I mean at thatpoint, I would I mean yeah,
like you cheated on your husbandso you don't I mean want to be
with them.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
So like go be with the guy you want to be with.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Life is short or maybe she doesn't even want to
be with that guy.
Maybe it's just you want out ofyour marriage.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
I don't know, maybe you have to look inward.
I would go to therapy on yourown and then couples therapy if
you're going to work it out.
But either way, therapy.
Seek professional help in thenicest, most respectful way
possible, like.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Because if you're cheating, you're obviously not
happy.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Not to you know, brag , but I have in the past cheated
before and it's because I wasreally unhappy in the
relationship.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
No one who cheats is.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I don't know from a guy's perspective, from a girl's
perspective, right yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Like it's, you're seeking validation elsewhere
because you're not happy withwhat's happening at home.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yeah, so because you're not happy with what's
happening at home?
Yeah so, and I've been cheatedon multiple times.
So it's hard to come back fromthat and like forgive the person
.
So but if I don't know how likeyou and your husband are, but
just communicate and get therapyyeah, and maybe this is not
meant to be yeah, but if it islike you can work it out and
like if it really is meant to be, then you guys will work it out
(24:58):
.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Right.
And yeah, all right.
The next one is very short.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
OK.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
But I grabbed it.
So I was like let's see,because I wouldn't know how to
answer this on my own.
My partner asked me to dosomething I'm not comfortable
with in the bedroom.
How do I tell him no?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
No period.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, no is comfortable with in the bedroom.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
How do I tell him no, no, period, yeah, no is a full
sentence and just say I'm notcomfortable with that?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I also feel like if, like you, should be comfortable
to tell your partner like no, Idon't want to do that like.
I don't like that, no, and youshouldn't really have to explain
yourself all too much.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
You don't have to explain why you're uncomfortable
with it also she never saidwhat it was.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I, you don't have to.
My nosy ass wants to know.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Yeah, I want to know, but at the same time, like
there's definitely, I have likedefinite no's, I'm not doing
that ever.
Like there's no like what's theword?
Like no, non-negotiables.
Like no, that's absolutely nothappening.
So, like I would just be likeyeah, and if you don't like it,
like that's my boundary and youhave to respect it.
For sure, and respect me andlike if it's only fun if both
(26:00):
people are enjoying it For sure,and like want to be doing it
also.
So just maybe pose it that wayand just be like listen, I don't
think I would have fun doing itand it would be weird because
I'm not enjoying it.
It's like then we're both justnot enjoying an obligation and I
, yeah, exactly, just like poseit that way, and maybe be, like
listen, I don't want to do thisand it's not gonna be fun for me
(26:22):
and I'm uncomfortable.
But also, no is a full sentencefor sure and you don't have to
give an explanation, just likeno, I'm not doing that and I
don't want to, and if he's likea decent partner, then he'll
respect the boundary and then ifnot.
Then you'll see their truecolors and know like, once they
show their true colors, that's,you know, once they show their
(26:43):
true colors, believe them.
So, however he reacts, you'llknow where to go from there that
will kind of be.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
His reaction will kind of be your answer, I think
yeah, like if he's just likedrops and it's like, okay, yeah,
no worries, yeah, be like wecould try and maybe like offer
some other stuff that you arecomfortable doing, that like you
would be into yeah, like youdon't ever want to like kink,
shame someone.
No like don't make them feelbad about it, but be like I
personally.
That's not my thing.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah, be like for me.
I don't want to do that andit's not for me.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
It's not a negotiable , you know like offer things
that maybe like you're into, andthen if you compromise, if you
want, or you could just straightup be like no, yeah, exactly
like I said.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
No, it's a full sentence, definitely, but I like
that.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Good, no is a full sentence I'm gonna start saying
that from now on yeah, it is, Idon't know where I'm gonna say
it, but I'm gonna start sayingthat from now on.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah, what am I gonna say no to all right, and I
pulled gremlin stories.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I love gremlin stories, all right.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
I pulled.
I think I pulled three.
Let me peek yes, I pulled three, and we have a bunch of brave
souls.
All of them were signed.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Tee hee.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Bravo All right.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
So the first one is from Sophie.
Oh, she says oh, actually, Iremember this one now.
Sophie, she says oh actually, Iremember this one now.
Okay, so here's the story ofhow a sex toy almost ruined my
relationship, or at least ourdignity.
Oh, it was a Friday night andmy boyfriend and I decided to
try something new after having afew bottles of wine.
(28:13):
We've been together for a whileand the sex sex was great.
But I had this brilliant ideato bring a little toy I had read
about into the bedroom.
Not just any toy a vibratingcock ring.
Supposedly amazing for bothpartners, it even had bluetooth,
bluetooth, bluetooth, what?
(28:36):
Okay, so we get it out of thebox.
That's the most shocking part ofthis, sorry download the app
okay and we're already kind ofgiggling about how quote-unquote
futuristic our sex life hasbecome yeah, I would.
That's pretty funny he puts iton and we're fumbling around
(28:57):
with the settings like we'retrying to launch a rocket.
There are vibration levels,patterns and intensity sliders.
We start messing around andeverything is great at first.
I'm in control with the app,teasing him, turning it up and
down, and he's loving it, untilhe starts to tense up hey, he
(29:18):
said kind of laughing, but alsonot.
It's getting kind of tight.
Oh my God.
I look down and realize Iaccidentally activated this
pulsing constriction mode on theapp.
The ring is vibrating andtightening rhythmically, which
sounds sexy in theory, until yousee your boyfriend staring at
it in total fear.
(29:39):
I tried to turn it off, but Ihad no idea what I even pressed
to make it do that.
He's starting to panic andhonestly, so am I.
I guess I can't.
He's flopping around like he'strying to shake it off, but the
thing is hanging on for dearlife.
I, I go to pull it, but it'skind of stuck.
(29:59):
We're both naked, franticallywrestling with this demon ring
that refuses to let go.
I finally run to the kitchen toget coconut oil and after what
seemed like years, we finallygot it off.
Safe to say, we haven't used itsince.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yeah, understandably, that's really funny.
I don't used it since yeah,understandably, that's really
funny I don't have any story.
That's an original experience,I think.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Or maybe not.
Okay, no kind of yes and no.
When I was like 20, I felt,like you know, being adventurous
and frisky.
And it wasn't, it was avibrating one.
And when I gave it to the guy,I was like and I'm like, by the
way, again 20, superinexperienced I didn't know what
(30:46):
the fuck I was doing.
He was like did you get lubetoo?
And I was like, no, I didn't.
And he was like, hmm, okay, sohe put it on, but then he
couldn't get it off, like wedidn't even use it.
He couldn't get it off becauseit was like this silicone
rubbery material that was likereally uncomfortable and I was
like I don't know what to dowith this.
(31:07):
Like, should we cut it off?
He's like you're going to putscissors near me.
And I was like I don't know Nota bad idea, so he had to get in
the shower and use soap to getit off.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
So I got no use out of it.
And since then, I've never useda sex toy ever.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Which, according to, Sophie, apparently she did it
Understandably.
Those are horror stories.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Horror stories Horror .
I didn't say horror, horror Nothorror Not, yeah, horror Horror
stories.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
I want to make that very clear.
I'm not calling anyone a horror.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
No.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Horror stories.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Horror.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, wow.
All right, okay, no horrorstories.
Yeah, wow.
Okay, that was a real, not aroller coaster, but like that
was quite a great gremlin rightall right thanks for sophie.
That was a great story thankyou, sophie.
You're brave and our next braveand your boyfriend or husband
or whoever that was.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, she said it was her boyfriend.
Poor guy, I'm scared, all right.
Next one is noelle.
She says it was her boyfriend.
Poor guy, I'm scared, all right.
Next one is Noel.
She says it was supposed to bea classy night.
We were all dressed up heels,lashes, tight dresses and ready
to celebrate Jess's birthdaywith bottomless sangrias and bad
decisions.
By the third round of drinks Iwas already loudly insisting I
(32:25):
wasn't even tipsy, which isusually the clearest sign I am
absolutely wasted.
After dinner we walked throughthe downtown plaza pretending we
were in some European rom-com.
Everything felt magical Twinklelights, the soft buzz of
alcohol and the sound of ourobnoxious laughter echoing off
buildings.
Then we passed the fountain.
(32:45):
It was one of those dramatic,tiered ones, glowing blue under
the light.
I don't know whose idea it was,but someone dared me to do a
dramatic model, walk around theedge of the fountain and,
because I have the self-controlof a toddler when I'm drunk, I
took my heels off, handed themto my friend, like I was about
to win America's next top model,and climbed up.
(33:06):
I actually started strong.
I was striking poses, throwingpeace signs, blowing kisses at
imaginary paparazzi.
Then I did a spin, which wouldhave been great, except I
misjudged the turn and my barefoot hit a slick patch of algae
or something and the next thingI knew splash.
I fully, completely fell in thefountain.
(33:28):
My dress is soaked, my hair isruined.
I came up gasping like I hadjust escaped the Titanic.
Love it.
One of my fake lashes floatedaway like a sad little boat.
My friends were crying,laughing, phones out, zero
sympathy.
Jess posted it on her instagramstory with the caption ariel
(33:48):
who, to this day, anytime we gonear a fountain, someone says
feel like taking a swim and Iconsider switching friend groups
.
Lol.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
best noel that's a good one.
That is a good one.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I don't have a story for that one, I don't.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
That's very like a la michael scott yeah, I don't
have quite a story about fallingin a fountain, but I have a
funny story about I was in vegaswith my friend and it involves
the bellagio fountain.
But, um, yeah, my friend livedout there.
I won't name his name but, forprivacy reasons but protect the
innocent yeah, but we were um atone of the casinos and you know
(34:27):
, when you're playing blackjack,they give you, or whatever,
drinks for free.
Yeah, and I was like I canbarely count like regularly.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
So I'm like having him count for me.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Like what is this number?
I'm like counting on my handsplaying blackjack and like we're
winning, of course, becausewe're like, and we're just kept
getting more and more drunk.
And then he like tilted back inhis chair but we kept winning
and then he fell out of hischair.
So once you fall in Vegas,they're like you're out of here,
you're done.
And so they were like you know,of course we're getting kicked
out and we're like we wereleaving anyways.
(34:58):
And then we get to the BellagioFountain and my friend got a
little too drunk and threw up inthe Bellagio fountain.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
I thought you were going to say he climbed in it.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
No, he kind of climbed in it to throw up in it,
but it was like on the side andyeah, but that was, I didn't
get in it or throw up in it, buthe did.
So that's my fountain story.
I don't have a fountain story.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I just thought it was funny.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, that's the only fountain.
There you go.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I've partied fountain party story that involves a lot
of people that have a bellagiofountain story yeah, for sure
for sure.
All right.
The last one is from kate,which I remember.
This one, this one's funny.
She says I don't even knowwhere to start because I'm still
cringing when I think about it.
My boyfriend Jake and I, ohdamn.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Name drop your boyfriend, this poor guy.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
No, protecting this innocent my boyfriend, jake.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I'm a drive-by.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
My boyfriend Jake and I had just left this late night
drive-in movie.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
We didn't want to Drive-in, right, I know it must
be like midwesty, I was gonna um, what I was gonna say?
Speaker 1 (36:10):
yeah, we didn't want the romance to end.
When the movie did, though, weparked in the back corner of the
lot under a broken light,thinking we were being all
stealthy and spontaneous.
One thing led to another and,well you know, the windows
started fogging up Think Titanic.
I love that this audience haslearned about my love of Titanic
(36:31):
that I've never seen.
Oh, that's my one gripe with you, I swear.
The windows started fogging upThink Titanic.
His jeans were somewhere in theback seat and I was straggling
him in the front like we were insome steamy movie montage.
It was all fun and thrill andheavy breathing until bam, bam,
bam.
I swear I almost died.
(36:53):
Right there, a flashlightblasted through the foggy window
and a voice yelled what's goingon in there?
It was a security guard, anactual uniformed middle-aged man
with a walkie-talkie andeverything.
Jake screamed, I screamed and Ifell halfway into the
floorboard trying to grab my bra, while also trying to disappear
(37:13):
off the face of the earth.
Jake scrambled to get his pantson.
The guy just stood there,clearly not impressed, and told
us we had exactly two minutes toquote clean up our little
situation and get off theproperty.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
At least he was cool about it To this day.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Every time we pass that drive-in we both get this
haunted look in our eyes likewe've seen some stuff.
Never again, kate.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
That's definitely a good one, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I mean, I feel like Everyone has that story.
I mean, I don't, I've never got.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Oh, I've never gotten caught.
Oh, awkward.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I'm like everyone has one of those stories.
I mean like car, yes, gottencaught no.
Have you?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Oh no by police or by people All in the above Police
or citizens, Never by citizens.
No, Never by citizens.
I was security guard, police oronce was at Disneyland parking
lot.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
That's risky.
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Yeah, no, I mean, I feel like I've, but it was just
like you know, like making outin the car, Like it's like not
like full blown doing anythingcrazy in there.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
It's just like I don't know, you're in high
school, so you don't haveanywhere to go.
Yeah, you can't have anywhereto go yeah, so we're like at
disneyland, because we would gothere like to hang out, because
we had season passes and he wasmy boyfriend, so we're just like
making out in the car and thenwe get in trouble.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
They can chill with that.
It's just a kid, but I heard.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
I don't know if this is true or not, but I've heard
that, obviously for obviousreasons.
I mean, it makes sense, but ifyou get caught like having sex
in disneyland, you banned forlife.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Because there's children around.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Well, yeah, for a number of reasons but like
banned for life is crazy, butlike I get it.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Obviously, but like.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
If anyone has ever gotten banned from Disneyland,
like my friend Spice, who was onthe podcast remember she had
her pass revoked for 30 daysbecause she punched that dude
Understandable.
They didn't like thatapparently.
I'm surprised it was only likesuspended and not I.
Yeah, I mean, she got lucky.
I think they realized how drunkboth of them were.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
So they were like yeah just whatever.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
But but she, it was just her past that was revoked.
She was able to buy, they weregoing oh yeah, tickets she.
He just bought her a ticket andthey just went in yeah, because
they don't check your like id,right, yeah so yeah, if anyone
has any band from disneylandstories to tell, yeah send those
in and um.
Also, I love kate for namedropping her boyfriend yeah,
kate and jake, that's funny ifyou know what kate and the jake.
(39:38):
At first I was like this storyin person.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
This sounds like the plot of greece summer, loving in
your car at the drive-in.
I was like are you gonna breakinto?
Song, but no I know, yeah, andthen, yeah, I think I thought
everyone had one of thosestories.
Similar thing happened to me atthe irvine spectrum.
Oh my god, the security guardcame.
He wrote up like some card orsomething and like was gonna
call our parents oh my god, itwas the same boyfriend like high
(40:03):
school boyfriend jeez, you'rejust going around town with this
dude.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Well, I mean, we were in high school he had a car.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
What were we going to do?
Yeah, but we never, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
Yeah, I've never gotten caught.
I've had close calls where wehad to like hunker down and be
like like look around, butusually like people just pass by
.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
But I was able to find, like, why am I bragging?
I was able to find really likedark streets that no one went
down, which that sounds like sothat's such a weird good idea,
great idea good for you, I'mgreat you knew all the spots,
yeah yeah, it makes me soundlike a slut.
Yeah, we can just cut thiswhole part out.
It's fine, I'll leave it cutthis whole part out.
(40:45):
All right.
Well, that's our episode.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
We did it.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
We did it.
You want to tell your socials.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Yes, it is at J Rose.
Well, at four underscores.
J Rose on TikTok and Instagram.
Yeah, so at one, two, three,four J-A-Y-R-O-S-E.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
There you go.
Yeah, and make sure to followher on Instagram and TikTok.
We're trying to build TikTok,yes, so help us Make sure to.
I go live on TikTok sometimes.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Yeah, she likes to do live.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
She posts way more content than I do.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
She's much more fun to look at.
Barely, I barely post content.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
I try, I try, we're trying.
Here we're going to go viral.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
Cheers to going viral .
Cheers to going viral.
Thanks for having me again.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Of course, and then you have to make sure to follow
the podcast Emily to Gremlin Podon Instagram and TikTok.
If you have your own gremlinstories or need gremlin guidance
, email me at emilytogremleypodat gmailcom.
Also, if you want to watch thisepisode, emily to gramily pod
on youtube, make sure to like,follow, share, subscribe.
(41:51):
Do all the things make ithappen for us, and she finished
her drink so cheers to you,cheers to me, cheers to the
podcast.
Cheers to kate and jake.
Yes and bye and bye, bye.
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