Regret is often seen as a negative emotion, something we should avoid at all costs. We are told to live life without regrets and to focus only on the positive aspects of our lives. However, this approach overlooks the valuable lessons that regret has to teach us.
Regret can be a powerful emotion, ranging from mild discomfort to deep hurt. It arises when an outcome was not what we wanted or expected, and we believe that our decisions or actions caused the outcome. Research shows that we tend to regret the actions we didn't take, the missed opportunities, more than the actions we did take that resulted in bad outcomes.
According to Brené Brown, regret is one of our most powerful emotional reminders that reflection, change, and growth are necessary. In her research, regret emerged as a function of empathy. When used constructively, regret can be a call to courage and a path towards wisdom.
So, what can regret teach us? It can teach us to have the courage to be kinder, to show up, to set boundaries, to be good to ourselves, and to say yes to something scary. Regret can also teach us to take chances, to be more thoughtful, and to be conscious in conversations.
In a podcast conversation between Brené Brown and author of the book, The Power of Regret, Daniel H. Pink identified four core regrets: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets.
And of course as always I share my own personal experiences with regret.
Resources:
- Atlas of the Heart Book Study: https://www.meghanthomas.com/atlas-of-the-heart
- Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown: https://amzn.to/40bizDZ
- The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware: https://amzn.to/3JL1WJO
- The Power of Regret by Daniel H. Pink: https://amzn.to/3lvtEB3
- Dare to Lead Podcast: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/the-power-of-regret/
- Morgan Harper Nichols: https://www.instagram.com/morganharpernichols/
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