August 1, 2024 • 30 mins
Picture this: You're 51 years old, and instead of slowing down, you become a professional jazz artist, embracing the imperfections that once held you back. Or you left a career in academia, became a chaplain, then an emotional intelligence coach and energy healer. Those are the stories of Elvira V. Hopper and Jami Carlacio, respectively. In this episode, Elvira shares how she transformed her life by letting go of perfectionism. Leaving behind two successful but unfulfilling careers, she embraced her inner jazz artist to become a beacon of authenticity and inspiration. Together, Elvira and I uncover how trauma and our pursuit of perfection can stifle our potential, and how releasing these pressures can lead us to our true purpose.
Elvira and I delve into the power of vulnerability and authenticity, sharing candid personal stories that illuminate the path from perceived inadequacies to genuine connection and growth. We recount transformative experiences, including a life-altering retreat in Tuscany that taught Elvira the value of being open and real and learning to embrace a major mistake and see its value, which reverberated beyond the Italian countryside. Through our conversation, we illustrate how adversity can be a powerful catalyst for personal development, allowing us to better support and uplift those around us.
As we wrap up, we celebrate the joy and wisdom that come from embracing our flaws. Our conversation radiates with positivity and emotional intelligence. We encourage you to silence negative self-talk and embrace your journey with love and gratitude. This heartfelt episode is a reminder to live authentically and joyfully. Be sure to check the show notes for our contact information and stay connected as we continue to be inspired on this beautiful journey.
Show Notes
Elvira V. Hopper
Podcast Cover:
Paige Bradley, Expansion Rising.
https://paigebradley.com/sculpture/metamorphosis/expansion-rising-maq/expansion-rising-maq/
Want to learn how to build your EQ? Let's meet to see if working together is good fit.
* Calendar: https://calendly.com/jami-carlacio/virtual-coffee
* Email: jami@jamicarlacio.com (mailto:%20jami@jamicarlacio.com)
* Find out more about my coaching services: https://jamicarlacio.com
* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jami-carlacio/
* FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/jamicarlacioEQ
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* TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jcarlacio
* Substack: https://substack.com/@eqmaven
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Elvira (00:00):
Like it's a given right.
So values are really, reallyimportant.
So I just made this quicklittle video.
I thought it was real.
It wasn't perfect.
You know, I stumbled over mywords.
That's just the way I am,because I want to be real, not
perfect.
That's what allowed me tobecome a professional jazz
artist at 51, believe it or notis when I let go of perfection
and realized that this is mything to do and I have to do it
(00:23):
and I don't have to be perfect.
I get to be real, right.
So that was one of the thingsthat really took me and my life
to the next level.
Jami: Hello and welcome everybody to (00:37):
undefined
(01:33):
the podcast EmotionalIntelligence.
I am so happy to see you todayand I'm really excited because
we are going to talk aboutperfectionism and how we are
perfectly imperfect human beings, and I'm very delighted that my
guest today is Elvira Hopper,and she is excited to talk about
this too.
And the thing about Elvirathat's really exciting to me is
(01:55):
that we are soul sisters.
We met recently and when we met, we discovered that we had so
many things in common that itmade complete sense to have her
on this podcast, and I'm goingto be on hers as well in another
couple of weeks, so I'm reallyexcited.
So let me just give you a fewnuggets of beauty about Elvira.
(02:18):
She is a miracle mindset coachand blessed to be living her
most authentic life as aninspirational artist and speaker
, a far cry from two glamorousand lucrative, yet soul-sucking,
imposter careers I love itspanning 27 years as a
(02:40):
healthcare professional and anaward-winning pharmaceutical
sales professional, through ablessed corporate breakdown
where she almost ended it all.
I identify with that very much.
She is on her way to create thelife of their dreams and
connect to their purpose.
(03:01):
Elvira believes that we thrivein every area of our life as a
result of our personal shift toauthentically living our dreams
and connecting to our purposeand the Love.
Your Vibe Miracle Mindset thatwas divinely gifted to her to
serve to save her life hasbecome a movement that is
(03:24):
serving countless beautifulsouls like yours and mine, as
her purpose is to be themessenger of this heart and soul
work on the planet.
If a former crap magnet likeher could become a miracle
magnet, anyone can, and so thankyou and welcome my darling.
How are you today?
Jami (03:50):
Oh, thank you so much for inviting me.
I'm doing amazing, jamie.
It's so beautiful to be in yourvibe.
It really, really is, and I'mgrateful that you invited me on,
and I can't wait for thisconversation today.
Elvira (03:57):
Yeah, I'm excited too.
You know, I had the luxury ofmeditating for about an hour and
a half today.
I went to the beach thismorning and I said I need to go
get with my spirit guides andask for the direction, and I
have been told by the universeto let go of things that I've
been holding on to, and one ofthe things that I hold on to is
(04:22):
kind of this negative idea aboutmyself.
You know, I'm a positiveintelligence coach, and one of
the things that my judge does isit likes to beat me up, and one
of my key saboteurs is astickler, and the stickler is
another word for perfectionist,and so I tend to get down on
(04:43):
myself when I'm not some versionof whatever perfect even means.
And so it's a great time.
I think the universe alwayssays Jamie, I think you need to
learn this lesson, and this is agreat time to talk about how
perfectionism can really derailus, and for me, it's not even a
freaking word that should be inthe dictionary.
Jami (05:07):
Wow, yes, I am.
So I am so on the same page.
I absolutely agree with you,jamie.
Ignore the, the phone in theback.
Yeah, this is, this is crucialstuff, you know, especially for
people like us.
Jamie, I mean, I'm not sure, Ithink I remember a little bit
about your upbringing, but myupbringing was very traumatic
(05:29):
and there was a lot of abuse ofevery kind, you know, physical,
verbal, emotional, sexual, like.
I went through it all and what Irealized, you know now, looking
back, is that thatperfectionism, that control
freak ism, you know that I seeit was a, it was a trauma
response, you know, if, you know, people go through trauma in
(05:52):
order not to be, in order to,you know, deem themselves safe.
They believe they have to beperfect so that they won't get
further traumatized, right?
So that's why, if I could bethe perfect little good Italian
Catholic girl, then nobody'sgoing to abuse me, right?
It's so sad, but that's whereit comes from.
(06:13):
But then, when we get reallyclear on, oh my God, you know,
yeah, of course you can giveyourself love for having been
that way, because that was justyour inner child trying to
survive.
And today we don't have to beperfect, we don't have to be
control freaks.
We get to be real, we get to beourselves, because that's what
the inner work is all about,right.
Elvira (06:34):
Absolutely, and I have had similar experiences with
various forms of trauma complexPTSD forms of trauma complex
PTSD.
And I also found when I did thetrauma work with my therapist
(06:54):
that those were survivalstrategies.
Like you were saying, if youcan get the good grades, if you
can be good, if you can keepyour head down and stay out of
the way of the tornado or thetsunami or whatever it was that
was coming at you on any givenday, then maybe you would
survive.
And I went through five decadesof my life like that.
Jami (07:11):
Same same.
Oh, I feel you, sister, I'mgetting chills, chills of
confirmation, yeah, and and howbeautiful is it that now we get
to look back and and giveourselves compassion, and give
others compassion if they'restill there, you know, if
they're stuck in perfectionism,like I have so much compassion,
(07:32):
like can I tell you a funnystory that just happened a
couple of days ago?
Yeah, regarding perfectionism.
Okay, so I recorded a wholebunch of new videos that I'm
that I'm going to be releasingone every week with one of my
clients who happens to be anamazing videographer, and we
just shot them, like right herein my backyard, and they're
beautiful videos, like.
I got them back and I'm likeblown away by the quality of
(07:55):
these things.
Anyway, so I put up the firstone and it was about values and
basically what I talked about.
They're all snippets.
They're about like 30 minutes,30 seconds to a minute each,
right.
They're just, like you know,short, little snippets, little
nuggets of wisdom, right,because Jay Shetty inspired me
and he said we need to makewisdom go viral.
Like let's put out content thatis wise, that can, that can go
(08:17):
viral, and he's amazing,bringing out his wisdom bombs on
.
I follow him on Instagram andand on on LinkedIn as well, and
anyway, oh, and I listened tohis podcast, so, anyways, I so I
put out my first one.
I was so excited.
It was about values andessentially what I said was
we've got to, you know, checkwith, you know, the people that
(08:38):
are in our lives, whether theybe, you know, our partners, our,
our, you know, companies, coworkers.
Well, we can't do too muchabout co workers, but we can,
you know, we can work with that,this idea that when we're not
in alignment with our values,we're especially, you know, our
(08:59):
romantic partners, right, andour friends.
When we're not in alignmentwith with similar values, we're
going to bug the snot out ofeach other Like it's a given
right.
So values are really, reallyimportant.
So I just made this quicklittle video.
I thought it was, it was real.
It wasn't perfect.
You know I stumbled over mywords.
That's just the way I am,because I want to be real, not
(09:20):
perfect.
That's what allowed me tobecome a professional jazz
artist at 51, real, not perfect.
That's what allowed me tobecome a professional jazz
artist at 51, believe it or notis when I let go of perfection
and realized that this is mything to do and I have to do it
and I don't have to be perfect,I get to be real, right.
So that was one of the thingsthat really took me and my life
to the next level, but anyway.
So I put this video out and onInstagram and the title on it
(09:44):
was are your values aligned, orsomething like that.
But instead of writing are yourvalues with an S, I put are you
, are your valued align?
So there was a mistake, right,and I didn't notice it till like
maybe a few hours later and Isaw it again.
I'm like, oh shoot, I made amistake.
The old me would have gone intoa total shame storm about oh my
(10:07):
God, my first video.
This is my new series andthere's a mistake.
I would have freaked out aboutit.
Instead I just chuckled tomyself and I said, oh, isn't
that interesting.
And I just let it go.
Because if you go to my website, alverahoppercom, backslash,
unleash there.
That is my six month program, alittle plug for that, which is
(10:27):
my one-on-one six month, andthere's a video on there that
was recorded and it wasn't good,good sound.
And my videographer said,alvera, we can redo it because
the sound's not good.
I said nope, you're going toleave it exactly as it is.
Because my people have havestruggles with with
perfectionism and control andneed to be perfect, because
(10:49):
that's their trauma and I wantthem to witness me putting out
content that is not perfect, butit's real, it's from the heart,
and I did such a good job on itbecause I just channeled it.
All right, like I channel, Idon't speak, and it was a
beautiful message and justbecause there was a hiss in the
back, I wasn't going to redo it.
I was really happy with it.
So what I did is I put it outthere and one of the women that
(11:14):
was hiring me for the speakinggig said oh Vera, what's wrong
with your video?
It's all wrong.
I said click on it and readabout it.
So what I did is I got my webdesigner to put a little you
know explanation that you knowwhen they click on the video.
Well, basically, it said clickhere to learn more about this
video.
So if anybody was curious, theycould click on it.
And what I said was exactly thisthat you know what, if you
struggle with imperfection,being around a coach that's
(11:37):
dealt with it and was able tokick it to the curb can help you
do it too, or something likethat.
I forget what I said, so Ithink that's really really
important.
And so this gentleman commentson it.
He goes proofread much, so theold me would have gone into a
shame storm about that, like, ohmy God, somebody noticed it and
(12:00):
they're they're calling me onit.
And how I responded with himwas exactly I said I saw this
later and I could have taken thewhole thing down, but I decided
to keep it up because my peoplestruggle with perfection and I
want them to know that they canbe real and not perfect Like you
, my perfect brother and I kindof got a bit sarcastic there,
(12:22):
right, because it's like youknow what I put out some good
content.
There was one little typo.
It's still good, it's goodenough and we don't have to be
perfect.
So that is the key takeaway.
And a whole bunch of my clientscommented on it it's still good
, it's good enough and we don'thave to be perfect.
So that is the key takeaway.
And a whole bunch of my clientscommented on it.
It's on my Instagram, it'sreally funny if you want to read
it, but a whole bunch ofcomments.
My clients commented like hey,elvira, this is great.
(12:43):
I'm so glad you're real, notperfect, like, because it gives
everybody the permission toexhale and they don't have to be
perfect either.
Elvira (12:51):
Yeah, yeah, very good story.
That reminds me of one of theways that I was raised was in a
Catholic background and I had togo to confession every week.
So yeah, I was reminded that Ihad sinned and that I had to
(13:13):
atone and I had to go tell someguy in a booth.
And so I was reminded and therewas part of me that said God
loves me anyway, and so right,and so I didn't like going to
confession every week and someweeks it was like I'm not sure
what I did, but I'll makesomething up.
Okay, I think I lied.
So what I would do is I'll makesomething up.
(13:33):
Okay, I think I lied.
So what I would do is I wouldgo to communion and in the
Catholic Church, if you didn'tgo to confession and you went to
communion, you were right backin the confessional saying I
went to communion without goingto confession, and so I got in
trouble.
I got in a lot of trouble frommy family and so I got in
trouble.
I got in a lot of trouble frommy family.
Jami (13:53):
And.
Elvira (13:54):
I grew up thinking that I was kind of a blight on the
earth.
I thought I was a walkingcharacter defect.
Jami (14:03):
Wow, I feel that.
Elvira (14:08):
Yeah, and I hear other people saying that and I want to
say does that serve you or yourhighest good, and does that
serve other people?
Jami (14:14):
Yeah.
Elvira (14:15):
And I think the answer is no to both those questions.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm glad that you're real.
You know, I am in a 12-stepprogram because part of my
perfectionism drove me to drinkand I drank to die and I, of
course my higher power saidyou're not going to die yet,
You've got a message.
(14:36):
But one of the things that wedo is we show up as our real
selves, our real imperfectselves, and that's what people
love.
Jami (14:46):
Exactly, exactly.
When I tell my biggest shitshow stories, that's when I get
the most people inspired, eitherwanting to work with me or just
being inspired and saying, ohmy God, I can't believe that you
shared that.
So I feel so much lighterhearing what you've gone through
Like.
One of my worst stories was Icall it shit show in Tuscany.
(15:07):
So I hope it's OK that that I'mswearing here because I'm real
not perfect, right, that I'mswearing here because I'm real
not perfect, right.
But Shitshow in Tuscany is astory that I'm actually writing,
a book called Three Shitshows.
I Started and the Wisdom BombsGleaned for you.
So basically, that's how we,you know, first of all, that's
how we learn, that's how weinspire others too, because they
(15:29):
don't feel alone in theirperfection or any dark thing
that they're in.
They're like, oh my God, shewent through it too and she, she
seemed like she had it alltogether and and so this is what
happened.
I went to Tuscany, italy, and Ibrought six other six women with
me, so there were seven of usin total.
This beautiful little town inTuscany, italy, and a little, a
(15:51):
little hillside, um, a littlehilltop town.
And uh, anyway, three days intomy retreat, I triggered a woman
with PTSD and, oh my God, likeit was the worst, freaking thing
that could have ever happened.
Um, I, I basically got PTSD asa result of it.
I needed treatment when I gotback.
(16:12):
But I had to go through thatsituation for a reason.
First of all is to the womenthat came to support this woman
that was triggered.
I wasn't able to support herbecause I didn't have the right
tools, but these women did so.
I learned a lot aboutleadership.
I learned that leadership cansometimes be about stepping back
and letting others step forwardand taking the limelight.
(16:35):
Even though it was my firstretreat, it was so embarrassing.
I was the furthest thing fromperfect.
I was shamed for being so bad.
One of the women that steppedforward the next day she looked
at me by the pool.
She goes I thought you werebetter than that.
And I just looked at her and Ijust said hey, you know what?
Maybe this happened for you torealize how great you are
(16:57):
because you were able to stepforward and support this woman.
And I know you're going backand you're going to be doing
your own event, and maybe thisis showing you that you're
better than me and you've gotthis and she goes yeah, you're
right.
And she walked away and I waslike you know, I had I'm the
leaders eat last right.
So I was there for her, eventhough it was so humiliating to
(17:19):
have to go through that.
And you know the woman that wastriggered, she couldn't even
look at me in the eyes.
Basically I was persona nongrata for the rest of it but.
But there was a few otherlessons I learned as well.
But but at end, what, what Irealized is I had to go through
it because a client needed tohear that story.
When I got back, I hadn't hadan elite client, like a one on
(17:40):
one client for like about a year, okay.
But as soon as I got back, myvibration because of this, you
know, you know drop and then notjust going back to where I was,
but going up like double right.
So I would hear, not to hear.
But from here to here, becauseof that, I got two incredible
elite clients right away, mydivine clients.
(18:02):
That because I I survived it.
Not only did I survive, Ithrived, I learned a whole bunch
of things that I was meant tolearn.
And um, and then, uh, one ofthe two women that hired me
about a month into our coachingJamie, uh, she was feeling
really, really down on herselfand I remember just stopping her
and saying you know what?
(18:23):
I am getting a feeling that youneed to hear this story right
now.
And I told her the shit show inTuscany story.
All of a sudden, because I do mycoaching over the phone, all of
a sudden I hear a sigh oh,alvira, thank you so much for
sharing that story with me.
You made me realize that whatI'm going through right now is
(18:45):
nothing compared to what youwent through.
You survived that a month agoand I'm going to survive what
I'm going through.
And I was like you know what,sister, if I went through that
shit show just to serve youtoday by telling you that story,
I'm glad I went through it andI'm so glad that you were served
by me, because that's what Ibelieve we do as coaches we go
(19:08):
through situations, we collectstories.
I like to say my life is a lab.
I literally try out all theexperiments.
Some are great, some are, youknow, so called failures, but
there's no such thing as failureIn my world.
You win or you learn right.
There's no such thing asfailure, and that's what I do.
I go through my life andthere's hit and miss, but I get
to tell these incredible storiesafterwards.
(19:30):
Isn't that cool.
Elvira (19:32):
It is very cool and what you said.
There were a couple of things Iwant to pull out of that.
One is that when we're in ourkind of perfectionist doom, we
vibrate at a lower level andthat tends to push people away
or they say, oh gosh, I don'tknow if I want to be around that
(19:56):
.
But when we vibrate at a higherlevel and we live into our
authentic self, our true self,and, as I say, that we are
created in love, for love and bylove, and so we cannot not be
love, and I believe that we'reall endowed with this kind of
inner divinity.
But the other thing is that Ithink and I use the word God in
my lexicon, but I also know thatI'm guided by higher spiritual
(20:17):
beings, and that is that Goduses my defects or my mistakes
in good ways.
So, whatever mistakes I made,they may have ruined a moment or
have harmed a person or hurtsomebody's feelings, but they
also were used maybe to helpthat person grow, and definitely
(20:39):
to help me grow, and I had atherapist who made me walk down
the street saying it's okay if Imake a mistake today, and I had
to say it out loud.
Jami (20:52):
Wow, and that's powerful it was it was.
Elvira (20:55):
I heard myself say it and as I heard myself say it, I
started to believe it.
Jami (21:00):
Yeah, wow, that's amazing.
That was a cool therapist tohave you do that.
That's cool.
Wow, that's amazing.
That was a cool therapist tohave you do that.
That's cool Wow.
Elvira (21:09):
Yeah, and he had his own set of character flaws that
enabled me to grow, and so hewasn't necessarily the perfect
therapist for me, but he was theright therapist at the right
time.
Jami (21:21):
Yeah, you know, and I do believe.
Elvira (21:23):
I believe in divine timing and like we met each
other on Facebook, actuallydidn't?
Jami (21:40):
we On Find a Podcast guest ?
That's the name of my firstjazz band, by the way, that I
that I was able to um, gettingout of you know perfectionism
and not being good enough to beon a professional jazz stage.
I was able to deal with thatand did it anyway.
And um, my first, my first jazzband was called Heart and Soul.
Um, so, yeah, it's about youknow, doing what's in your heart
(22:03):
, soul to do, aligned, authentic, fully self-expressed.
My daddy sadly died with hisreal music still in him when he
um because he was told as a, asa boy, that good men are not on
stages singing.
And his sister was an operasinger on italian opera stages
but she was told good women arenot on stages.
So when she got married she wastold hang up your opera gown,
(22:25):
put on an apron, because youcan't step foot on another opera
stage ever again.
And both my dad and my auntdied with their real music still
in them and they died withthese horrible diseases.
My dad, two types of cancer,mental health, struggles on meds
and a marriage in shambles.
He paid the ultimate price forliving out of alignment.
He paid the ultimate price forfeeling not good enough to be on
(22:47):
a professional stage and I didthe opposite of that.
He showed me what not to do.
So I was able to do it real notperfect get on the stage.
And now I'm an award-winningjazz artist.
I've even performed for OprahWinfrey's man, stedman Graham If
you Google his name and mine,you'll see me singing to him and
he thinks I'm fabulous.
But the thing that I believemakes me different from other
(23:11):
musicians is, for example, themayor of our city had a 60th
birthday party right beforeCOVID hit and she invited my
second jazz duo to perform at it.
And why did she choose us overevery other Mississauga musician
?
Because this was our.
This was a brand new band.
It would have been our first.
It was our first gig.
Why did she choose us?
Cause we put a little humblevideo out on Instagram and she
(23:34):
saw it and she commented on it.
She said what an incredible duobest wishes.
And I said to my partner, markMark, has she ever commented on
your stuff before?
And he goes no, and he goes hasshe ever commented on your
stuff?
I said no, but it was thecombination of us together which
was a very high vibration,jamie.
(23:57):
I believe that it was real, farfrom perfect, it was just done
on my phone.
My husband taped us right rightback here, actually in my, in
my family room, and you know, atthe end of it, you know he
taped it and I said, can I putthis up on Instagram?
And he goes sure, even thoughit wasn't perfect, the sound
wasn't that great, but shepicked up the authenticity in
that and this is why I believeshe invited us to perform two
weeks later at her private 60thbirthday party for her friends
(24:19):
and family.
And we were chosen over everyother musician in our city and
she knew, like all of them,practically.
So what's the difference betweenme and my partner versus most
musicians?
Alignment, doing it from ahumble space of service, real,
(24:41):
not perfect, and that is whatattracts you.
You know it attract.
It's almost like bees to aflower, because you are just
being yourself, being yourselfand you attract the right beings
to you.
Oh, my goodness, I love what'scoming through.
Um, yeah, so that that is how Iget to do it.
I don't.
I don't even rehearse.
To be honest, I don't.
I don't practice, cause Ihonestly don't care what I sound
(25:02):
like.
I know I'm going to soundexactly as spirit source.
God, whatever you believe in,wants me to sound like.
In fact, if I sound like crapone night at jazz bistro, which
is a world-class jazz venuewhere I, my first band, created
our um.
We recorded our first albumthere, live.
Um, if I sound like crap onenight, guess what?
Someone is meant to hear me inthe audience and go.
(25:23):
Oh, she only started doing thisprofessionally at 51.
She's not even that good.
I'm going to go do my thing too.
If that's all I do, I've done myjob, because my singing is not
about me.
Look at me, I'm the singer.
I'm all that in a bag of chips.
My singing is about me gettingto be fully me.
It was a gift my father gave me, my aunt had it and I'm doing
(25:46):
it too.
I didn't go to school for many,many years.
I did a few singing lessonsover the years just to get
comfortable being on a stage,but I'm far from perfect and I
don't want to be perfect.
It's a lot of stress to beperfect, so that's how I became
professional.
But the coolest thing is if yousee that behind me.
I don't know if you can seethat, but there's there.
(26:07):
Okay, hang on, I'm.
I'm struggling with this.
So you see that bowl, that,that bowl that's beneath the
tree, that's one of my sevensacred chakra bowls.
So I was meant to become a jazzsinger, not just to be a jazz
singer.
Look at me, I'm all that.
I was born to be a sound healer.
So I help people heal with myvoice and my goals, and to me
(26:30):
that is really exciting.
And I have a beautifulmembership about to be launched,
called TML the musician'slegacy, to help heart centered
musicians heal the world withtheir music, because their music
isn't about them.
I want to see musicians stopbeing crap magnet musicians and
start being miracle magnetmusicians.
(26:50):
So that's what I'm up to rightnow.
Elvira (26:52):
Yeah, yeah, okay.
So we're pretty much windingdown on time.
I don't have my glasses on, butI think we're getting close to
one o'clock Eastern.
But I just wanted to addEastern.
But I just wanted to add likeyou, I reinvented myself and I
took a big chance.
I left the profession I was inI was a professor and I went to
(27:14):
Divinity School and at DivinitySchool I thought, oh, this will
be easy, it's just anothermaster's degree and I already
have a PhD.
It was freaking hard and Ididn't get all A's.
And I was in Berkeley DivinitySchool, which is the Episcopal
Divinity School at Yale, and Ithought I was going to become a
priest.
And the Episcopal Diocese ofConnecticut said no, you're not.
(27:36):
And so I'm like God, why didyou bring me here?
I've got student debt.
I'm not a priest, I'm not aboard certified chaplain.
And God said you don't need acollar to do what I have given
you to do Go help women, andyeah, and the other thing is I
(27:59):
started taking dance lessons andI was waiting for a partner and
a partner has not materialized.
So I just showed up by myselfwith my two left feet and I
started taking lessons and Irecorded my first video with my
partner, my instructor and I.
It was great, I saw it, it's sogood.
Yeah, and it's not perfect andI'm like it's OK, it was my
(28:19):
first time and I'm just learning, yeah, yeah.
So I'm, I'm, I like you.
It's like I had to put it outthere because that's me, that's
Jamie, feeling full of joy andnot being perfect.
Jami (28:34):
Yes, joyful Jamie is what we need on the planet, just like
we need joyful Elvira.
We need joyful you.
Listening to this right now,watching this, yeah, absolutely.
Elvira (28:44):
Yes, absolutely.
And speaking of imperfection, Ihaven't figured out how to
share my sound, so there's asong by Celine Dion about
imperfection and I'm going toedit this video later and it
will be on the video.
So, elvira, thank you so muchfor being with us and sharing
(29:04):
your wisdom and yourimperfections with us, and your
joy and your vibration.
Jami (29:12):
Thank you so much for inviting me, Jamie.
I send so much love to you andeveryone witnessing this
conversation.
Thank you.
Elvira (29:20):
Thank you, you're the best, and Elvira's information
will be in the show notes aswell as mine and, as always,
when you're ready to stop thatnegative chatter in your head
and you want to work on somepositive and emotional
intelligence, my information isalso in the show notes.
(29:41):
Until next time, I'll see youat the PQ Gym.
Bye, bye.
Like it's a given right.
So values are really, reallyimportant.
So I just made this quicklittle video.
I thought it was real.
It wasn't perfect.
You know, I stumbled over mywords.
That's just the way I am,because I want to be real, not
perfect.
That's what allowed me tobecome a professional jazz
artist at 51, believe it or notis when I let go of perfection
and realized that this is mything to do and I have to do it
(00:23):
and I don't have to be perfect.
I get to be real, right.
So that was one of the thingsthat really took me and my life
to the next level.
Jami: Hello and welcome everybody to (00:37):
undefined
(01:33):
the podcast EmotionalIntelligence.
I am so happy to see you todayand I'm really excited because
we are going to talk aboutperfectionism and how we are
perfectly imperfect human beings, and I'm very delighted that my
guest today is Elvira Hopper,and she is excited to talk about
this too.
And the thing about Elvirathat's really exciting to me is
(01:55):
that we are soul sisters.
We met recently and when we met, we discovered that we had so
many things in common that itmade complete sense to have her
on this podcast, and I'm goingto be on hers as well in another
couple of weeks, so I'm reallyexcited.
So let me just give you a fewnuggets of beauty about Elvira.
(02:18):
She is a miracle mindset coachand blessed to be living her
most authentic life as aninspirational artist and speaker
, a far cry from two glamorousand lucrative, yet soul-sucking,
imposter careers I love itspanning 27 years as a
(02:40):
healthcare professional and anaward-winning pharmaceutical
sales professional, through ablessed corporate breakdown
where she almost ended it all.
I identify with that very much.
She is on her way to create thelife of their dreams and
connect to their purpose.
(03:01):
Elvira believes that we thrivein every area of our life as a
result of our personal shift toauthentically living our dreams
and connecting to our purposeand the Love.
Your Vibe Miracle Mindset thatwas divinely gifted to her to
serve to save her life hasbecome a movement that is
(03:24):
serving countless beautifulsouls like yours and mine, as
her purpose is to be themessenger of this heart and soul
work on the planet.
If a former crap magnet likeher could become a miracle
magnet, anyone can, and so thankyou and welcome my darling.
How are you today?
Jami (03:50):
Oh, thank you so much for inviting me.
I'm doing amazing, jamie.
It's so beautiful to be in yourvibe.
It really, really is, and I'mgrateful that you invited me on,
and I can't wait for thisconversation today.
Elvira (03:57):
Yeah, I'm excited too.
You know, I had the luxury ofmeditating for about an hour and
a half today.
I went to the beach thismorning and I said I need to go
get with my spirit guides andask for the direction, and I
have been told by the universeto let go of things that I've
been holding on to, and one ofthe things that I hold on to is
(04:22):
kind of this negative idea aboutmyself.
You know, I'm a positiveintelligence coach, and one of
the things that my judge does isit likes to beat me up, and one
of my key saboteurs is astickler, and the stickler is
another word for perfectionist,and so I tend to get down on
(04:43):
myself when I'm not some versionof whatever perfect even means.
And so it's a great time.
I think the universe alwayssays Jamie, I think you need to
learn this lesson, and this is agreat time to talk about how
perfectionism can really derailus, and for me, it's not even a
freaking word that should be inthe dictionary.
Jami (05:07):
Wow, yes, I am.
So I am so on the same page.
I absolutely agree with you,jamie.
Ignore the, the phone in theback.
Yeah, this is, this is crucialstuff, you know, especially for
people like us.
Jamie, I mean, I'm not sure, Ithink I remember a little bit
about your upbringing, but myupbringing was very traumatic
(05:29):
and there was a lot of abuse ofevery kind, you know, physical,
verbal, emotional, sexual, like.
I went through it all and what Irealized, you know now, looking
back, is that thatperfectionism, that control
freak ism, you know that I seeit was a, it was a trauma
response, you know, if, you know, people go through trauma in
(05:52):
order not to be, in order to,you know, deem themselves safe.
They believe they have to beperfect so that they won't get
further traumatized, right?
So that's why, if I could bethe perfect little good Italian
Catholic girl, then nobody'sgoing to abuse me, right?
It's so sad, but that's whereit comes from.
(06:13):
But then, when we get reallyclear on, oh my God, you know,
yeah, of course you can giveyourself love for having been
that way, because that was justyour inner child trying to
survive.
And today we don't have to beperfect, we don't have to be
control freaks.
We get to be real, we get to beourselves, because that's what
the inner work is all about,right.
Elvira (06:34):
Absolutely, and I have had similar experiences with
various forms of trauma complexPTSD forms of trauma complex
PTSD.
And I also found when I did thetrauma work with my therapist
(06:54):
that those were survivalstrategies.
Like you were saying, if youcan get the good grades, if you
can be good, if you can keepyour head down and stay out of
the way of the tornado or thetsunami or whatever it was that
was coming at you on any givenday, then maybe you would
survive.
And I went through five decadesof my life like that.
Jami (07:11):
Same same.
Oh, I feel you, sister, I'mgetting chills, chills of
confirmation, yeah, and and howbeautiful is it that now we get
to look back and and giveourselves compassion, and give
others compassion if they'restill there, you know, if
they're stuck in perfectionism,like I have so much compassion,
(07:32):
like can I tell you a funnystory that just happened a
couple of days ago?
Yeah, regarding perfectionism.
Okay, so I recorded a wholebunch of new videos that I'm
that I'm going to be releasingone every week with one of my
clients who happens to be anamazing videographer, and we
just shot them, like right herein my backyard, and they're
beautiful videos, like.
I got them back and I'm likeblown away by the quality of
(07:55):
these things.
Anyway, so I put up the firstone and it was about values and
basically what I talked about.
They're all snippets.
They're about like 30 minutes,30 seconds to a minute each,
right.
They're just, like you know,short, little snippets, little
nuggets of wisdom, right,because Jay Shetty inspired me
and he said we need to makewisdom go viral.
Like let's put out content thatis wise, that can, that can go
(08:17):
viral, and he's amazing,bringing out his wisdom bombs on
.
I follow him on Instagram andand on on LinkedIn as well, and
anyway, oh, and I listened tohis podcast, so, anyways, I so I
put out my first one.
I was so excited.
It was about values andessentially what I said was
we've got to, you know, checkwith, you know, the people that
(08:38):
are in our lives, whether theybe, you know, our partners, our,
our, you know, companies, coworkers.
Well, we can't do too muchabout co workers, but we can,
you know, we can work with that,this idea that when we're not
in alignment with our values,we're especially, you know, our
(08:59):
romantic partners, right, andour friends.
When we're not in alignmentwith with similar values, we're
going to bug the snot out ofeach other Like it's a given
right.
So values are really, reallyimportant.
So I just made this quicklittle video.
I thought it was, it was real.
It wasn't perfect.
You know I stumbled over mywords.
That's just the way I am,because I want to be real, not
(09:20):
perfect.
That's what allowed me tobecome a professional jazz
artist at 51, real, not perfect.
That's what allowed me tobecome a professional jazz
artist at 51, believe it or notis when I let go of perfection
and realized that this is mything to do and I have to do it
and I don't have to be perfect,I get to be real, right.
So that was one of the thingsthat really took me and my life
to the next level, but anyway.
So I put this video out and onInstagram and the title on it
(09:44):
was are your values aligned, orsomething like that.
But instead of writing are yourvalues with an S, I put are you
, are your valued align?
So there was a mistake, right,and I didn't notice it till like
maybe a few hours later and Isaw it again.
I'm like, oh shoot, I made amistake.
The old me would have gone intoa total shame storm about oh my
(10:07):
God, my first video.
This is my new series andthere's a mistake.
I would have freaked out aboutit.
Instead I just chuckled tomyself and I said, oh, isn't
that interesting.
And I just let it go.
Because if you go to my website, alverahoppercom, backslash,
unleash there.
That is my six month program, alittle plug for that, which is
(10:27):
my one-on-one six month, andthere's a video on there that
was recorded and it wasn't good,good sound.
And my videographer said,alvera, we can redo it because
the sound's not good.
I said nope, you're going toleave it exactly as it is.
Because my people have havestruggles with with
perfectionism and control andneed to be perfect, because
(10:49):
that's their trauma and I wantthem to witness me putting out
content that is not perfect, butit's real, it's from the heart,
and I did such a good job on itbecause I just channeled it.
All right, like I channel, Idon't speak, and it was a
beautiful message and justbecause there was a hiss in the
back, I wasn't going to redo it.
I was really happy with it.
So what I did is I put it outthere and one of the women that
(11:14):
was hiring me for the speakinggig said oh Vera, what's wrong
with your video?
It's all wrong.
I said click on it and readabout it.
So what I did is I got my webdesigner to put a little you
know explanation that you knowwhen they click on the video.
Well, basically, it said clickhere to learn more about this
video.
So if anybody was curious, theycould click on it.
And what I said was exactly thisthat you know what, if you
struggle with imperfection,being around a coach that's
(11:37):
dealt with it and was able tokick it to the curb can help you
do it too, or something likethat.
I forget what I said, so Ithink that's really really
important.
And so this gentleman commentson it.
He goes proofread much, so theold me would have gone into a
shame storm about that, like, ohmy God, somebody noticed it and
(12:00):
they're they're calling me onit.
And how I responded with himwas exactly I said I saw this
later and I could have taken thewhole thing down, but I decided
to keep it up because my peoplestruggle with perfection and I
want them to know that they canbe real and not perfect Like you
, my perfect brother and I kindof got a bit sarcastic there,
(12:22):
right, because it's like youknow what I put out some good
content.
There was one little typo.
It's still good, it's goodenough and we don't have to be
perfect.
So that is the key takeaway.
And a whole bunch of my clientscommented on it it's still good
, it's good enough and we don'thave to be perfect.
So that is the key takeaway.
And a whole bunch of my clientscommented on it.
It's on my Instagram, it'sreally funny if you want to read
it, but a whole bunch ofcomments.
My clients commented like hey,elvira, this is great.
(12:43):
I'm so glad you're real, notperfect, like, because it gives
everybody the permission toexhale and they don't have to be
perfect either.
Elvira (12:51):
Yeah, yeah, very good story.
That reminds me of one of theways that I was raised was in a
Catholic background and I had togo to confession every week.
So yeah, I was reminded that Ihad sinned and that I had to
(13:13):
atone and I had to go tell someguy in a booth.
And so I was reminded and therewas part of me that said God
loves me anyway, and so right,and so I didn't like going to
confession every week and someweeks it was like I'm not sure
what I did, but I'll makesomething up.
Okay, I think I lied.
So what I would do is I'll makesomething up.
(13:33):
Okay, I think I lied.
So what I would do is I wouldgo to communion and in the
Catholic Church, if you didn'tgo to confession and you went to
communion, you were right backin the confessional saying I
went to communion without goingto confession, and so I got in
trouble.
I got in a lot of trouble frommy family and so I got in
trouble.
I got in a lot of trouble frommy family.
Jami (13:53):
And.
Elvira (13:54):
I grew up thinking that I was kind of a blight on the
earth.
I thought I was a walkingcharacter defect.
Jami (14:03):
Wow, I feel that.
Elvira (14:08):
Yeah, and I hear other people saying that and I want to
say does that serve you or yourhighest good, and does that
serve other people?
Jami (14:14):
Yeah.
Elvira (14:15):
And I think the answer is no to both those questions.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm glad that you're real.
You know, I am in a 12-stepprogram because part of my
perfectionism drove me to drinkand I drank to die and I, of
course my higher power saidyou're not going to die yet,
You've got a message.
(14:36):
But one of the things that wedo is we show up as our real
selves, our real imperfectselves, and that's what people
love.
Jami (14:46):
Exactly, exactly.
When I tell my biggest shitshow stories, that's when I get
the most people inspired, eitherwanting to work with me or just
being inspired and saying, ohmy God, I can't believe that you
shared that.
So I feel so much lighterhearing what you've gone through
Like.
One of my worst stories was Icall it shit show in Tuscany.
(15:07):
So I hope it's OK that that I'mswearing here because I'm real
not perfect, right, that I'mswearing here because I'm real
not perfect, right.
But Shitshow in Tuscany is astory that I'm actually writing,
a book called Three Shitshows.
I Started and the Wisdom BombsGleaned for you.
So basically, that's how we,you know, first of all, that's
how we learn, that's how weinspire others too, because they
(15:29):
don't feel alone in theirperfection or any dark thing
that they're in.
They're like, oh my God, shewent through it too and she, she
seemed like she had it alltogether and and so this is what
happened.
I went to Tuscany, italy, and Ibrought six other six women with
me, so there were seven of usin total.
This beautiful little town inTuscany, italy, and a little, a
(15:51):
little hillside, um, a littlehilltop town.
And uh, anyway, three days intomy retreat, I triggered a woman
with PTSD and, oh my God, likeit was the worst, freaking thing
that could have ever happened.
Um, I, I basically got PTSD asa result of it.
I needed treatment when I gotback.
(16:12):
But I had to go through thatsituation for a reason.
First of all is to the womenthat came to support this woman
that was triggered.
I wasn't able to support herbecause I didn't have the right
tools, but these women did so.
I learned a lot aboutleadership.
I learned that leadership cansometimes be about stepping back
and letting others step forwardand taking the limelight.
(16:35):
Even though it was my firstretreat, it was so embarrassing.
I was the furthest thing fromperfect.
I was shamed for being so bad.
One of the women that steppedforward the next day she looked
at me by the pool.
She goes I thought you werebetter than that.
And I just looked at her and Ijust said hey, you know what?
Maybe this happened for you torealize how great you are
(16:57):
because you were able to stepforward and support this woman.
And I know you're going backand you're going to be doing
your own event, and maybe thisis showing you that you're
better than me and you've gotthis and she goes yeah, you're
right.
And she walked away and I waslike you know, I had I'm the
leaders eat last right.
So I was there for her, eventhough it was so humiliating to
(17:19):
have to go through that.
And you know the woman that wastriggered, she couldn't even
look at me in the eyes.
Basically I was persona nongrata for the rest of it but.
But there was a few otherlessons I learned as well.
But but at end, what, what Irealized is I had to go through
it because a client needed tohear that story.
When I got back, I hadn't hadan elite client, like a one on
(17:40):
one client for like about a year, okay.
But as soon as I got back, myvibration because of this, you
know, you know drop and then notjust going back to where I was,
but going up like double right.
So I would hear, not to hear.
But from here to here, becauseof that, I got two incredible
elite clients right away, mydivine clients.
(18:02):
That because I I survived it.
Not only did I survive, Ithrived, I learned a whole bunch
of things that I was meant tolearn.
And um, and then, uh, one ofthe two women that hired me
about a month into our coachingJamie, uh, she was feeling
really, really down on herselfand I remember just stopping her
and saying you know what?
(18:23):
I am getting a feeling that youneed to hear this story right
now.
And I told her the shit show inTuscany story.
All of a sudden, because I do mycoaching over the phone, all of
a sudden I hear a sigh oh,alvira, thank you so much for
sharing that story with me.
You made me realize that whatI'm going through right now is
(18:45):
nothing compared to what youwent through.
You survived that a month agoand I'm going to survive what
I'm going through.
And I was like you know what,sister, if I went through that
shit show just to serve youtoday by telling you that story,
I'm glad I went through it andI'm so glad that you were served
by me, because that's what Ibelieve we do as coaches we go
(19:08):
through situations, we collectstories.
I like to say my life is a lab.
I literally try out all theexperiments.
Some are great, some are, youknow, so called failures, but
there's no such thing as failureIn my world.
You win or you learn right.
There's no such thing asfailure, and that's what I do.
I go through my life andthere's hit and miss, but I get
to tell these incredible storiesafterwards.
(19:30):
Isn't that cool.
Elvira (19:32):
It is very cool and what you said.
There were a couple of things Iwant to pull out of that.
One is that when we're in ourkind of perfectionist doom, we
vibrate at a lower level andthat tends to push people away
or they say, oh gosh, I don'tknow if I want to be around that
(19:56):
.
But when we vibrate at a higherlevel and we live into our
authentic self, our true self,and, as I say, that we are
created in love, for love and bylove, and so we cannot not be
love, and I believe that we'reall endowed with this kind of
inner divinity.
But the other thing is that Ithink and I use the word God in
my lexicon, but I also know thatI'm guided by higher spiritual
(20:17):
beings, and that is that Goduses my defects or my mistakes
in good ways.
So, whatever mistakes I made,they may have ruined a moment or
have harmed a person or hurtsomebody's feelings, but they
also were used maybe to helpthat person grow, and definitely
(20:39):
to help me grow, and I had atherapist who made me walk down
the street saying it's okay if Imake a mistake today, and I had
to say it out loud.
Jami (20:52):
Wow, and that's powerful it was it was.
Elvira (20:55):
I heard myself say it and as I heard myself say it, I
started to believe it.
Jami (21:00):
Yeah, wow, that's amazing.
That was a cool therapist tohave you do that.
That's cool.
Wow, that's amazing.
That was a cool therapist tohave you do that.
That's cool Wow.
Elvira (21:09):
Yeah, and he had his own set of character flaws that
enabled me to grow, and so hewasn't necessarily the perfect
therapist for me, but he was theright therapist at the right
time.
Jami (21:21):
Yeah, you know, and I do believe.
Elvira (21:23):
I believe in divine timing and like we met each
other on Facebook, actuallydidn't?
Jami (21:40):
we On Find a Podcast guest ?
That's the name of my firstjazz band, by the way, that I
that I was able to um, gettingout of you know perfectionism
and not being good enough to beon a professional jazz stage.
I was able to deal with thatand did it anyway.
And um, my first, my first jazzband was called Heart and Soul.
Um, so, yeah, it's about youknow, doing what's in your heart
(22:03):
, soul to do, aligned, authentic, fully self-expressed.
My daddy sadly died with hisreal music still in him when he
um because he was told as a, asa boy, that good men are not on
stages singing.
And his sister was an operasinger on italian opera stages
but she was told good women arenot on stages.
So when she got married she wastold hang up your opera gown,
(22:25):
put on an apron, because youcan't step foot on another opera
stage ever again.
And both my dad and my auntdied with their real music still
in them and they died withthese horrible diseases.
My dad, two types of cancer,mental health, struggles on meds
and a marriage in shambles.
He paid the ultimate price forliving out of alignment.
He paid the ultimate price forfeeling not good enough to be on
(22:47):
a professional stage and I didthe opposite of that.
He showed me what not to do.
So I was able to do it real notperfect get on the stage.
And now I'm an award-winningjazz artist.
I've even performed for OprahWinfrey's man, stedman Graham If
you Google his name and mine,you'll see me singing to him and
he thinks I'm fabulous.
But the thing that I believemakes me different from other
(23:11):
musicians is, for example, themayor of our city had a 60th
birthday party right beforeCOVID hit and she invited my
second jazz duo to perform at it.
And why did she choose us overevery other Mississauga musician
?
Because this was our.
This was a brand new band.
It would have been our first.
It was our first gig.
Why did she choose us?
Cause we put a little humblevideo out on Instagram and she
(23:34):
saw it and she commented on it.
She said what an incredible duobest wishes.
And I said to my partner, markMark, has she ever commented on
your stuff before?
And he goes no, and he goes hasshe ever commented on your
stuff?
I said no, but it was thecombination of us together which
was a very high vibration,jamie.
(23:57):
I believe that it was real, farfrom perfect, it was just done
on my phone.
My husband taped us right rightback here, actually in my, in
my family room, and you know, atthe end of it, you know he
taped it and I said, can I putthis up on Instagram?
And he goes sure, even thoughit wasn't perfect, the sound
wasn't that great, but shepicked up the authenticity in
that and this is why I believeshe invited us to perform two
weeks later at her private 60thbirthday party for her friends
(24:19):
and family.
And we were chosen over everyother musician in our city and
she knew, like all of them,practically.
So what's the difference betweenme and my partner versus most
musicians?
Alignment, doing it from ahumble space of service, real,
(24:41):
not perfect, and that is whatattracts you.
You know it attract.
It's almost like bees to aflower, because you are just
being yourself, being yourselfand you attract the right beings
to you.
Oh, my goodness, I love what'scoming through.
Um, yeah, so that that is how Iget to do it.
I don't.
I don't even rehearse.
To be honest, I don't.
I don't practice, cause Ihonestly don't care what I sound
(25:02):
like.
I know I'm going to soundexactly as spirit source.
God, whatever you believe in,wants me to sound like.
In fact, if I sound like crapone night at jazz bistro, which
is a world-class jazz venuewhere I, my first band, created
our um.
We recorded our first albumthere, live.
Um, if I sound like crap onenight, guess what?
Someone is meant to hear me inthe audience and go.
(25:23):
Oh, she only started doing thisprofessionally at 51.
She's not even that good.
I'm going to go do my thing too.
If that's all I do, I've done myjob, because my singing is not
about me.
Look at me, I'm the singer.
I'm all that in a bag of chips.
My singing is about me gettingto be fully me.
It was a gift my father gave me, my aunt had it and I'm doing
(25:46):
it too.
I didn't go to school for many,many years.
I did a few singing lessonsover the years just to get
comfortable being on a stage,but I'm far from perfect and I
don't want to be perfect.
It's a lot of stress to beperfect, so that's how I became
professional.
But the coolest thing is if yousee that behind me.
I don't know if you can seethat, but there's there.
(26:07):
Okay, hang on, I'm.
I'm struggling with this.
So you see that bowl, that,that bowl that's beneath the
tree, that's one of my sevensacred chakra bowls.
So I was meant to become a jazzsinger, not just to be a jazz
singer.
Look at me, I'm all that.
I was born to be a sound healer.
So I help people heal with myvoice and my goals, and to me
(26:30):
that is really exciting.
And I have a beautifulmembership about to be launched,
called TML the musician'slegacy, to help heart centered
musicians heal the world withtheir music, because their music
isn't about them.
I want to see musicians stopbeing crap magnet musicians and
start being miracle magnetmusicians.
(26:50):
So that's what I'm up to rightnow.
Elvira (26:52):
Yeah, yeah, okay.
So we're pretty much windingdown on time.
I don't have my glasses on, butI think we're getting close to
one o'clock Eastern.
But I just wanted to addEastern.
But I just wanted to add likeyou, I reinvented myself and I
took a big chance.
I left the profession I was inI was a professor and I went to
(27:14):
Divinity School and at DivinitySchool I thought, oh, this will
be easy, it's just anothermaster's degree and I already
have a PhD.
It was freaking hard and Ididn't get all A's.
And I was in Berkeley DivinitySchool, which is the Episcopal
Divinity School at Yale, and Ithought I was going to become a
priest.
And the Episcopal Diocese ofConnecticut said no, you're not.
(27:36):
And so I'm like God, why didyou bring me here?
I've got student debt.
I'm not a priest, I'm not aboard certified chaplain.
And God said you don't need acollar to do what I have given
you to do Go help women, andyeah, and the other thing is I
(27:59):
started taking dance lessons andI was waiting for a partner and
a partner has not materialized.
So I just showed up by myselfwith my two left feet and I
started taking lessons and Irecorded my first video with my
partner, my instructor and I.
It was great, I saw it, it's sogood.
Yeah, and it's not perfect andI'm like it's OK, it was my
(28:19):
first time and I'm just learning, yeah, yeah.
So I'm, I'm, I like you.
It's like I had to put it outthere because that's me, that's
Jamie, feeling full of joy andnot being perfect.
Jami (28:34):
Yes, joyful Jamie is what we need on the planet, just like
we need joyful Elvira.
We need joyful you.
Listening to this right now,watching this, yeah, absolutely.
Elvira (28:44):
Yes, absolutely.
And speaking of imperfection, Ihaven't figured out how to
share my sound, so there's asong by Celine Dion about
imperfection and I'm going toedit this video later and it
will be on the video.
So, elvira, thank you so muchfor being with us and sharing
(29:04):
your wisdom and yourimperfections with us, and your
joy and your vibration.
Jami (29:12):
Thank you so much for inviting me, Jamie.
I send so much love to you andeveryone witnessing this
conversation.
Thank you.
Elvira (29:20):
Thank you, you're the best, and Elvira's information
will be in the show notes aswell as mine and, as always,
when you're ready to stop thatnegative chatter in your head
and you want to work on somepositive and emotional
intelligence, my information isalso in the show notes.
(29:41):
Until next time, I'll see youat the PQ Gym.
Bye, bye.
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