January 15, 2025 • 44 mins
Discover the wisdom of embracing imperfections and the power of emotional intelligence with our inspiring guest, John “Cadillac" Saville. John, a beloved radio personality and mentor, opens up about his adoption journey and how it has shaped his positive outlook on life. Together, we explore how emotional intelligence can foster more meaningful relationships and personal growth, with John's encouraging presence and spiritual beliefs shining through as catalysts for his success and influence.
Unlock the secrets to maintaining a childlike curiosity and a resilient mindset, even when life throws its challenges your way. We delve into the importance of faith and intentional practices—like prayer, gratitude, and yoga—in cultivating a hopeful approach to life's hurdles. By exploring the concept of the "inner sage," we highlight the empathetic and exploratory aspects of emotional intelligence that help counter negative thoughts and saboteurs, sharing personal routines and affirmations that boost positivity and well-being.
Take a journey through the vibrant community life in Guilford, Connecticut, where John's passion for community engagement takes center stage. From fundraising to local military support, John exemplifies the joy of giving back and stepping out of comfort zones. Learn how resilience and the art of "failing forward" can turn setbacks into stepping stones for growth, echoing the tenacity of figures like Thomas Edison and Colonel Sanders. Let laughter and positivity guide you away from negativity and gossip, as we emphasize the importance of speaking well of others and nurturing emotional intelligence. Our best days are ahead!
Show Notes:
John "Cadillac" Saville
John works at iHeart radio stations Country 92.5 and The River 105.9! Plus he will soon unveil his podcast “What’s Good” with his dear friend and colleague, Joyce Logan! Find John at johncaddyman.com
Arthur Murray Dance Studio, Guilford, CT
https://arthurmurrayguilford.com/
Music clip "My Best Days Are Ahead of Me" by Danny Gokey
https://youtu.be/Qqus079lUz8?si=5h9zjLpb4_EAPKQF
Want to learn how to build your EQ? Let's meet to see if working together is good fit.
* Calendar: https://calendly.com/jami-carlacio/virtual-coffee
* Email: jami@jamicarlacio.com (mailto:%20jami@jamicarlacio.com)
* Find out more about my coaching services: https://jamicarlacio.com
* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jami-carlacio/
* FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/jamicarlacioEQ
* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamicarlacio1/
* YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/jamicarlacio1
* TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jcarlacio
* Substack: https://substack.com/@eqmaven
* I'd appreciate your support the show by buying me a cup of coffee: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2167520/supporters/new
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
John "Cadillac" Saville (00:00):
We've all gotten our imperfections all
of this.
We all have that in common Noneof us are perfect, but we just
do the best we can with what wehave and we try not to compare
ourselves, because comparison isthe thief of joy.
When somebody told me that along time ago, I never forgot
that.
You know, if you were meant tobe taller or shorter or whatever
(00:20):
, our maker would have made usthat way, every one of us you,
me and everybody watching thispodcast right now has exactly
what they need to reach theirdestiny.
They have a single tool theyneed from our maker.
So just focus on that and don'tdon't try to be somebody you're
not Cause if you had somethingyou're looking at another person
(00:40):
.
I wish I had that.
It would be a burden and not ablessing, because it's not meant
for you.
It's meant for them, but youhave gifts that they don't have,
so just embrace what you have.
Jami Carlacio (00:58):
Welcome to the podcast Emotional Intelligence
your greatest asset and key tosuccess.
I'm your host, Dr.
Jami Carlacio, coming to youfrom the Greater New Haven,
Connecticut area.
A s an emotional intelligenceor EQ coach.
I'm committed to helping peopledevelop both emotional
intelligence and mental fitness.
That is, you'll come to regardproblems as situations that help
(01:23):
you learn and grow.
Eq is a way of being and doingin the world that enables you to
develop and sustain a positiverelationship with yourself and
others, at home, at work andeverywhere in between.
Please subscribe to thispodcast and tap the like button
so more people can enjoy thebenefits of EQ.
And now here's the show.
(01:44):
All right, hello and welcomeeverybody to the podcast
Emotional Intelligence yourGreatest Asset and Key to
Success.
And I have somebody here whoembodies that exactly.
His name is JohnCadillac-Seville.
How are you today, john?
John "Cadillac" Saville (02:03):
Hey, Jami, I'm doing great, I'm
hanging out with you and a wholebunch of your viewers.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
Jami Carlacio (02:14):
It is.
It is.
So let me just tell our guestsa little bit about you.
You gave me a very brief bio,so I hope that in our
conversation we can learn alittle bit more about you.
So for those of you who don'tknow John, john "Cadillac
Seville is a Billboard RadioPersonality of the Year nominee
several times.
He's a podcaster, he's avoiceover talent, he is a social
(02:36):
influencer and he is thepresident of John Seville
Entertainment.
He is also the senior directorof Melaleuca.
He's a fitness enthusiast, acounselor and mentor, and John
has been a wonderful mentor tome too a kind of a spiritual
slash, I don't know positivementor, I would say.
(02:58):
And he is married to the lovelyPatty, and he has been since
2008.
And they live in Guilford,connecticut, with their two.
In John's words, kitty boys"
Ah, my boys.
You memorized that all so wellall, jami, I'm impressed.
(03:19):
Well, you didn't give me a dissertation.
Some people give me a book andit's like I don't know if I can
say all of that.
John "Cadillac" Saville (03:25):
Oh me a dissertation.
no, no, things are good andwhatever you want to add is fine
, but I just can't wait to chatwith you and just see where this
goes.
Jami Carlacio (03:31):
Okay, well, let's get right into it.
So this is a podcast onemotional intelligence, and I
asked you specifically to be onthis podcast because you are one
of the most positive peoplethat I have ever met, and I just
think that when you come into aroom, you light it up, you make
(03:51):
people feel good aboutthemselves and you have that
kind of aura that speaks volumes.
Without even saying a word, youjust come in with some kind of
brilliance and, john, you and Ihave talked a lot.
I know that we share a lot ofspiritual values and we share
(04:12):
the value of emotionalintelligence, but I'm wondering
if we could just get to know youa little bit, would you mind
telling us just a little bitabout, maybe, growing up and
what influenced you to be thekind of person you are today?
John "Cadillac" Saville (04:25):
Jamie, I've been very fortunate.
I mean I'm adopted.
Jami Carlacio (04:28):
Oh, you are.
John "Cadillac" Saville (04:34):
Yeah, I'm adopted.
I have an adopted brother,adopted sister and.
But you know, I was raised inNorth Brantford, connecticut,
and moved to Guilford,connecticut, and went to school
in that town and got involved inall different kinds of sports
and theater and music.
I mean I sang in a band.
I did a lot of, you know,community theater, high school
theater, college theater.
I wanted to be as well-versedas I possibly can and I did have
(04:54):
a deep faith ever since I was akid.
My mom and dad brought me tochurch, but my faith has really
grown over the years.
But I've always wanted to bethis kind of a person who's
well-versed, is able to getalong with all different kinds
of people, because I'mfascinated by people, I love
people, I love to hear theirstories, I love animals.
I just don't want to ever losethat childlike curiosity and I'm
(05:18):
not sure exactly where thatcame from my parents to a point
but it's something I think thatI've innately had my entire life
.
Jami Carlacio (05:30):
You know, I want to, I want to go back to that
because that's extremelyimportant, this idea that you
have a childlike curiosity.
I meet so many people thesedays who feel jaded and cynical
and you know, very glass halfempty kind of a thing, and I see
you as a glass half full or allthe way full, maybe even just
brimming over, and I'm wantingto, I want to know what it is
(05:53):
that has helped you.
You know, you talk aboutcuriosity and one of the sage
powers, if you will, inemotional intelligence and
positive intelligence we talkabout saboteurs, the judge and
then nine accomplices that arealways running through our head
at any given moment.
But the inner sage is the sagethat is full of empathy for self
(06:14):
and others and is a sage whoexplores.
So let's say something doesn'twork and instead of saying, well
, that didn't work, forget it.
Let's just forget it.
We're not going to do it.
It doesn't work, it's exploreand ask questions and that's
that curiosity.
So how has curiosity served youas a professional and how did
(06:36):
you get into being a DJ?
Was that just a naturalprogression of your interest in
theater?
I asked way too many questions,sir.
John "Cadillac" Saville (06:42):
No, no, there's a lot there, but I
think you know we were talkingabout the saboteur and things.
It's like watching thosecartoons and you have the angel
on one shoulder, the devil onthe other.
I'll hear those voices all thetime and 75% of the time they
say that we wake up in themorning it's negative thoughts
that come into our mind rightaway.
So I feel like I'm a tennisplayer volleying the ball back
(07:05):
and forth.
Negative comes in, I'm sendingthe ball over the net again and
going positive, and thennegative comes back again.
So I'm always replacingnegative with positive all the
time and that's become a naturalreflex with me, I think due to
my faith.
So when I wake up in the morning, I'm very intentional about my
day.
I do my prayerful work, I do mygratitude exercises, I do my
(07:28):
yoga, so it's like my body and Iwant to develop that spiritual
mental armor before I go outinto the world to give me that
protection I need against allthe negativity out there.
Yes, I'm hoping to be thatbright light.
I know it sounds PollyannaKumbaya.
Jami Carlacio (07:45):
Yes, it kind of does.
John "Cadillac" Saville (07:46):
But that's how I live my life, Jamie
.
Jami Carlacio (07:48):
No.
John "Cadillac" Saville (07:49):
I have negative days, like anybody else
.
I have days where I doubtmyself.
Do you?
Oh yeah, I question my ownability sometimes, whether I
really matter sometimes.
And I have fears like anybodyelse has, but I just choose to
focus on.
Whenever I feel that way, Ijust say Jesus, help me, father,
(08:14):
help me how do you see me?
Jami Carlacio (08:15):
Not how I see me or the world, but how do you see
me?
Yes, oh, I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
I'm going to come back to that,but I want to capitalize on
something else that you said,and that is that that we all
have the saboteurs every day,and you start your day with
three things.
You start, you know, in prayerand in gratitude, and then you
take care of your physical bodythrough breath, work and yoga.
(08:37):
I do the same exact thing and II tell people that I see every
day at work, I get my coffeebecause that's I love my coffee,
but the first thing I do is Igo back to bed and I meditate
and pray and when I wake up I'mfeeling anxious.
(09:00):
But when I get out of bed tostart my day I'm in a completely
different frame of mind and Icannot emphasize enough how
important that part of my day is.
And I know a lot of people say,oh, I don't have time and I'm
busy, wake up a few minutesearly.
John "Cadillac" Saville (09:20):
That's an excellent point.
Wake up a few minutes early,successful people.
Many times they'll take anextra half hour 45 minutes and
what you can accomplish in thattime.
As you know as well as anybody,it's amazing what you can do in
that half hour 45 minutes andI'll say, well, god is worth it.
To me, I have very, very deepfaith, like you do too.
Some people call it theuniverse, whatever they do, and
(09:42):
I admire and I respect what theydo, but to me it's God, and I
just let him know that he'sfirst in my life and he is the
one who opens up the doors, he'sthe one who makes things happen
, he's the one who gives me thathedge of protection wherever I
go.
So he's my source, andeverything else on this planet
is a resource, first andforemost, each and every day.
(10:03):
Am I successful every day withthat?
No, do I have challenges everyday?
Absolutely, we all do.
But in the bible it says rainfalls on the just and rain falls
on the unjust.
We're all going to havechallenges yeah, right, we are.
Jami Carlacio (10:17):
And, um, I want to also go back to this idea of
of sort of the the negativevoice over here and the positive
voice over here, and and justsay, because what you said, and
and I don't want us to glossover it, because it's so
important when you have anegative thought, okay, yep,
here it is, here's the negativethought I'm not good enough, or
(10:39):
I'm not going to succeed here,or that person doesn't like me,
or this thing went wrong, orwhatever.
But we can change our thoughts.
Yes, right, so you can, andthat's why I think of it as
reframing, you know, and incognitive behavioral therapy,
that's what.
That's what it's all about.
(10:59):
It's about looking at yourthoughts and seeing them and
noticing them and then decidingwhether or not they serve your
highest good.
And a thought that says you'renot good enough, nobody likes
you, this isn't right, thosedon't serve your highest good.
However, you want to definethat.
John "Cadillac" Saville (11:20):
I mean, my whole thing is change the
channel.
If you don't like a TV show,you change the channel.
There's 500 channels, whateverit may be.
And if you don't like thatmovie, go watch another movie.
And it's the liar, it's theevil one speaking to you,
telling you you're not worthywho do you think you are?
And trying to bring back allthe failures you've had in your
(11:40):
life and put it on a loop.
That's not right, and thathappens with all of us.
Each human being goes throughthat.
But we just have to learn, likeyou said, to cognitively change
the channel and just focus onwhat's good about us.
We always want to be negative,but what is good about us?
What do you like about yourself?
Jami Carlacio (12:02):
We have magnifying minds, and so you
know, as some people have said,what you focus on, rose, yes,
and so if you're focusing onthings that you perceive as
wrong or bad, then everyeverything is like a carpenter
(12:22):
with a hammer Everything's anail, it's magnified.
John "Cadillac" Saville (12:26):
Yes we have magnifying minds.
Jami Carlacio (12:29):
Yes, yes, yeah, and so we can choose.
And that isn't to say, like youwere saying earlier, that
everything's perfect andhunky-dory all the time, but one
thing I learned 20 years ago Ilearned this from Eckhart Tolle,
actually from the Power of Now,and I probably said it on this
podcast before, but I'm going tosay it again and again.
(12:53):
And that is there's no suchthing as problems.
There are situations, and assoon as you change the word
problem to situation, the thingitself may have happened.
You got in a car accident,you're late to work, you lost
your job, something happened.
Whatever you know, thingshappen.
(13:13):
It's a situation that demands aresponse, and so how do we
choose to respond to stuff?
And that's then that goes intobuilding that time in for
mindfulness in the morningtrains your brain, which is a
big fat muscle.
John "Cadillac" Saville (13:32):
That's right.
Jami Carlacio (13:33):
And we were training our brain.
I talk about the PQ gym, thepositive intelligence gym or the
emotional intelligence gym.
It's a muscle that just needsto be trained, but, just like
anything, if you don't exerciseit, it gets flabby.
John "Cadillac" Saville (13:49):
They say neuroplasticity.
So we told her I went with thebrain and it's really true.
I mean, we are what we thinkeach and every day that
manifests on the body, and somethings of what we say can really
change our whole reality.
Jami Carlacio (14:03):
It does.
John "Cadillac" Saville (14:05):
So let's just speak faith and and
speak faith into other peopletoo, because so many people have
a negative attitude or they'rea negative self image and just
by saying one thing and make itsincere, because people can tell
you're not sincere but.
If you're really good to peopleand you uplift them, change
their whole trajectory.
Jami Carlacio (14:21):
You know it can change.
A smile can change a person'sday, right?
How are you doing today, right?
You know, and today yeah andsometimes it's as simple as
maybe for for women.
I mean, I don't, I don't knowfor men, but for if it's a woman
I might just say I really likeyour shoes, or I like the way
(14:44):
you did your nails, or I paythem a personal compliment.
That's honest.
Yes, as a way of almostestablishing a connection.
John "Cadillac" Saville (14:54):
Right, and that's great.
I mean everybody.
Everybody appreciates acompliment, as long as it's
sincere, right.
Find something good withsomeone.
Everybody you meet that you cansay something good to, and no
matter who you run into, there'ssomething about them, that's
good.
Jami Carlacio (15:11):
Yes.
John "Cadillac" Saville (15:11):
Just focus on that.
Don't assume that if somebodylooks good, that they're getting
compliments all the time.
Many times they're not.
Yeah, because people are afraidto be vulnerable or they want
to hold back the compliment forwhatever reason.
Freely share it.
Jami Carlacio (15:25):
I have to tell you somebody complimented me
today and then apologized forthe compliment.
John "Cadillac" Saville (15:31):
Really.
Jami Carlacio (15:32):
Yes and I said no .
No need to apologize.
I really appreciate it andthank you.
John "Cadillac" Saville (15:39):
Yeah.
Jami Carlacio (15:39):
Yeah, he paid me a really lovely compliment, but
because he was a man.
Yeah, he paid me a reallylovely compliment, but because
he was a man, he felt like hemight have done something wrong.
And it was a very innocentcompliment and a very nice one
and a very honest one and Ithought it was lovely.
But he apologized because hewas afraid that I might take it
(16:02):
the wrong way.
John "Cadillac" Saville (16:04):
It's too bad that we have to feel
that way, but I know it's theworld we live in right now and
the political mores and some ofthe things that are going on.
But just feel right, feelconfident.
I admire the fact that he wasconscious enough to do that.
He was respectful enough to dothat.
I mean, we shouldn't reallyhave to, but I get where he's
coming from.
Jami Carlacio (16:23):
Yeah, he was being very polite and very
respectful, yeah, yeah, and hewanted me to know that.
He wanted me to know that hiscompliment was honest and coming
from the heart.
John "Cadillac" Saville (16:37):
I love it.
Jami Carlacio (16:37):
Yeah, yeah.
So that was one thing.
And going back toneuroplasticity, I actually
wrote a little ebook on traumaand thriving not just surviving
but thriving and one of thethings I talk about in this book
is neuroplasticity.
And you know, I think of ourbrain, as you know, this big
(17:01):
mass of neural networks, andthey're just these pathways that
we've built over the years andthey've got grooves right,
because I often use kind of animage like this We've got the
judge and the saboteur pathwaythat's very well trodden and the
grooves are deep and so it'seasy to keep going down those
(17:22):
pathways because they're so wellworn.
The sage pathway needs to beworn in.
It might be uncomfortable orfeel odd, but if you continue to
use that pathway, that will bethe well-worn pathway.
Sure, let's go down the roadless traveled yeah and let's
(17:44):
make it more traveled exactly,and let's bring some people
along with us too yeah, yeah,you know, um, scientists say
that we have maybe, on average,64 000 thoughts a day and 95 of
them are the same from day today.
So if you think about it, if60,000 of your thoughts are, say
(18:08):
, negative and they're the sameday after day, you can easily
see why the the kind of thesaboteur pathway is the way it
is.
And I think of it as like therabbit hole, because I used to
go down that rabbit hole a lot.
I, I, I didn't, I didn't havelike a rosy childhood and I, you
(18:31):
know, I've had a lot ofchallenges in my life, but when
I discovered, I had an epiphanya few years ago, when I
discovered that I'm not mytrauma, that my middle name
isn't my job description oranything else.
John "Cadillac" Saville (18:46):
That's right, it's like well, what do
you do for a living?
I'll say I do this and that,but it's not who I am, it's what
I do Big difference.
Jami Carlacio (18:54):
Right, right, and I think our society asks us to
identify so much with what we dofor a living to identify so
much with what we do for aliving.
John "Cadillac" Saville (19:07):
That'd be dangerous, because if you
lose that living, then all of asudden you're feeling of self
Self-worth can just dissipate.
Jami Carlacio (19:13):
Right, exactly.
So if our self-worth is tied upin our job description and it
is and it's easy to see why,because we place a lot of value
on different types of jobs orprofessions and if your identity
is tied up in that and you have, like I used to teach, and if I
(19:34):
had a bad if I quote unquote,had a bad teaching day, if I had
a day where I didn't feel likeI reached students or the
students, for whatever reason,the class just didn't gel or
whatever.
I felt bad and my wholeself-worth depended on how the
classroom went that day and Ihad to get out of that place
(19:56):
because it was killing me todepend.
That my mood depended on anhour or two, my mood depended on
an hour or two, that sometimesthe circumstances weren't in my
control.
If a lot of students skippedclass for whatever reason you
know it was a snowy day, theyjust didn't want to drive in or
whatever reason, Right, I had nocontrol over that, but I would
(20:21):
take it personally.
Or I would think, oh no, myclass whatever, but I would take
it personally.
Or I would think, oh no, myclass whatever.
And then I would, I, my wholemood shifted into the negative
and it took away the joy of thework for me.
John "Cadillac" Saville (20:36):
And too many times people let their
circumstances dictate theirhappiness.
I remember the Apostle Paul inthe Bible said I've learned to
be happy in all situations.
I've learned to be happy, andhe referred to like all of his
challenges as minor afflictions.
Here's a guy who got beat withrods and wrote most of the New
(20:56):
Testament in a dungeon andshackles and chains and he
called that a minor affliction.
Jami Carlacio (21:00):
Jamie, yeah, I think Paul was yeah.
Brilliant, yeah, I know, I knowflitching jamie.
Yeah, I think I think paul wasyeah brilliant.
Yeah, uh, I I know, I know, uh,I I happen to really like paul.
John "Cadillac" Saville (21:15):
He's one of my biblical.
He's one of my favoritebiblical figures yeah, our mood
being dictated by whether we geta check in the mail or not yeah
check, then all of a suddenwe're happy that day.
If it doesn't come, then wewere in a bad mood for the rest
of the day.
We've blown that day.
The check comes the next day,everything's good.
But we can't get back that,back that, that 24 hours that we
(21:37):
just let that loom in ourbrains.
Jami Carlacio (21:39):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (21:40):
Right.
Jami Carlacio (21:40):
And so that's why I value emotional intelligence
so much.
It's really why I started thepodcast, because I started
feeling so much freer when Idivorced my self image from my
job and from anything thathappened to me in the past and
when I stopped that and I becamea positive intelligence coach
(22:04):
and I also went into kind oflife coaching and then recovery
coaching and in all of thosethings helped me realize that
resilience is important andbouncing back and again,
pivoting and innovating andexploring and you know, but I
(22:25):
think empathy has been a hugething just learning to love
myself, learning to accept mymistakes and accept my
imperfections and that they'renot a death sentence or a jail
sentence.
John "Cadillac" Saville (22:43):
And we've all gotten our
imperfections all of this.
We all have that in common Noneof us are perfect, but we just
do the best we can with what wehave and we try not to compare
ourselves, because comparison isthe thief of joy.
When somebody told me that along time ago, I never forgot
that.
You know, if you were meant tohave be taller or shorter,
whatever our maker would havemade us that way.
(23:05):
Every one of us you, me andeverybody watching this podcast
right now has exactly what theyneed to reach their destiny.
They have a single tool theyneed from our maker.
So just focus on that and don'ttry to be somebody you're not,
because if you, had somethingyou're looking at another person
.
I wish I had that.
It would be a burden and not ablessing, because it's not meant
(23:28):
for you.
It's meant for them, but youhave gifts that they don't have,
so just embrace what you have.
Jami Carlacio (23:41):
Right, right, and I like the idea of gifts.
I want to just say to all ofyou who are either listening or
watching, if this is resonatingwith you, please like and
subscribe this podcast, becausethe more people who like and
subscribe to it, the morevisible it gets and the more
people get the message that youcan live a life of your dreams.
You do not have to be rich, youdo not have to be famous, you
(24:01):
do not have to be beautiful orwhatever that even means, but it
really is an inside job, isn'tit?
John "Cadillac" Saville (24:09):
Yes, it is.
Jami Carlacio (24:10):
Yeah and again yeah.
Comparison is a thief of joyand you know, I'll be the first
to admit, I always want to betaller.
I'm five feet tall and so assoon as I was allowed, I started
wearing heels, because I justnever felt okay with my height,
(24:31):
and now I don't care.
John "Cadillac" Saville (24:34):
That's right.
They say dynamite comes insmall packages and you are
dynamite in so many ways, myfriend.
Jami Carlacio (24:41):
Yeah.
So tell us a little bit aboutwhat you're doing in Guilford,
connecticut.
I know you're a DJ.
I know you host a show or twoon a couple of radio stations.
Can you say maybe just a littlebit about that for the local
people who might be watching orlistening?
John "Cadillac" Saville (24:57):
Sure, I mean I'm very much involved in
the community with my church andI do a lot of fundraising
activities.
My wife says my biggest problemis I have a hard time saying no
.
I want to help everybody.
I just love, love, love.
It just gets me going theadrenaline.
When I can help people, I justbelieve in karma, Just go out
there and do the right thingright and I work at several
different radio stations, mostnotably here and locally, on
(25:20):
iHeartRadio on the River 105.9,which is classic hits 70s, 80s,
90s.
Jami Carlacio (25:26):
That's my favorite.
John "Cadillac" Saville (25:28):
And Country 92.5, you know which.
You know.
Country music is so hotnowadays, and in different
formats.
Whenever they need me Top 40,hip hop I can do anything.
And then I have my DJ business,which primarily focuses on
weddings, parties.
We do all kinds of events.
I have five DJs to keep busyand it's a really busy time
(25:48):
because people got engaged overthe holidays.
Jami Carlacio (25:51):
So a lot of them are looking for their vendors.
John "Cadillac" Saville (25:56):
So we're booking like crazy right
now for weddings and uh and thatnature.
Jami Carlacio (25:58):
So it's it's a good time of year yeah, and I
know you and I met each otherthrough a networking group and I
remember you was saying how youwere booking into the next year
yeah, even in the 27, right nowreally now.
John "Cadillac" Saville (26:11):
I'm going to be doing weddings using
a walker at this.
At this point, jane, you knowit's going to be doing weddings
using a walker.
At this point, jane, you knowit's going to be whatever it
takes, I know.
As long as the Lord wants me todo this, I'm going to do it.
Jami Carlacio (26:22):
Yeah, I love it.
And you said you do somevolunteer work or local work,
community fundraising, such as.
John "Cadillac" Saville (26:30):
A lot of community fundraising and
whatever we can.
When people say community orhelping out the military, I mean
I'm going to be there.
Jami Carlacio (26:38):
Yeah, that's awesome and I also want to put a
plug in for some of the.
There is a teach-a-thon goingon at the dance studio where I
take dance lessons the Arthur.
Murray dance studio, arthurMurray and Guilford, connecticut
, connecticut, owned by Todd andCarrie.
They are amazing and, yes, andthey're doing a teach-a-thon
(27:01):
this weekend and I'm actuallyI've got a couple of lessons
lined up and I'm excited becausethey're giving, they use that
money, they're doing thisteach-a-thon and they're taking
those proceeds and giving themback to the community.
So I wanted to give a shout outto those guys because talk
about giving back to thecommunity.
I started taking dance lessonsas my son got older and he is
(27:25):
much more independent you knowhe's he's a teenager, he's got
friends in a car and school andeverything and so I started
feeding my soul differently.
And the way I've been feeding itis through dance lessons and I
have to say it has.
It has been a real game changerfor me to just get on the dance
(27:47):
floor.
I started without knowing howto do any formal dance
whatsoever and I have learnedFoxtrot and tango and hustle and
East Coast and West Coast swingand waltz, and I am adding to
my repertoire as we go along.
I'm not in Dancing with theStars, but I have a fabulous
(28:09):
dancer named.
Manny, and what I really likeabout these people and again, I
can't stop talking about them,but they make you feel good, no
matter what you do on the dancefloor.
John "Cadillac" Saville (28:22):
That's a gift.
Jami Carlacio (28:24):
You know, and every, everything is a high 10.
After every day, after everylesson, after every practice
move, it's a high 10.
Thank you, that was great.
That was wonderful.
You could have stepped on feetleft and right.
John "Cadillac" Saville (28:39):
You could have tripped over yourself
.
It doesn't matter, it's allhigh 10.
Jami Carlacio (28:45):
And that helps me accept that I'm not, you know,
facile on the dance floor.
Maybe someday, but not rightnow.
But I can go out and have funand it doesn't matter if I don't
know how to do everything or ifI forget a move, it just
doesn't matter I admire peopleget out there and get out of
(29:07):
their comfort zone and just havesome fun, try something new.
John "Cadillac" Saville (29:11):
Yeah, it's just exhilarating, even if
people I don't like to use theword fail you, and I talk about
that all the time yeah, itdoesn't work out the way you
want.
You tried it.
You did it.
Now pat yourself on the backfor doing something out of your
comfort zone right?
well, that's how we grow yeah,if you just do the same thing
each and every day and just kindof like roll through life or
(29:32):
coast, you're never going togrow.
I mean, you're both adversityor trying different things and
maybe even, you know, notgetting exactly what you want
out of it as far as maybe thesuccess you want.
But who cares?
Jami Carlacio (29:44):
get out there and have some fun, live life yeah,
yeah and in, I think people canbe self-conscious and we don't
like to look dumb or look stupidor look whatever, but I'm here
to tell you that if you can justtake the chance and do
something new, something thatmaybe you think about or oh, I
(30:07):
wish I could do that Just try it.
John "Cadillac" Saville (30:10):
Like somebody who wants to be quite
colloquial before you got tosuck before you're good right.
Jami Carlacio (30:16):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (30:18):
We're all going to be that way.
You know, people just don't popout of a genie bottle and all
of a sudden they're masters atwhat they do.
There's some work going onthere.
Jami Carlacio (30:26):
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
And again, I think, if we haveto use the word fail, I think
there's a phrase fail fast.
John "Cadillac" Saville (30:36):
Or fail forward.
Jami Carlacio (30:37):
Or fail forward, yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (30:39):
I would say if you're going to fall,
fall forward.
Jami Carlacio (30:42):
Yeah, and again.
You can get backed up and youcan try again.
And, as I think I've heardThomas Edison said it, you know
why did you keep trying toinvent the light bulb?
You failed so many times.
He goes no, I didn't fail thatmany times.
I found 10,000 ways that don'twork.
John "Cadillac" Saville (31:05):
And the same thing with Colonel Sanders
, you know, with Kentucky FriedChicken he said things along the
same line.
Or Ben Franklin, one of thegreat inventors of all time.
They just, you know, just keptgoing, kept going.
They weren't, they weren't, thefailure didn't really have, or
the challenge didn't really havea big impact he said, okay,
this doesn't work, let's move on.
They had a tunnel vision.
They were not going to stopuntil they found what they
(31:26):
needed to find right, right,it's kind of like a dog with a
bone yeah, exactly, you look atthe end.
I just look at like a squirrelout there.
And the squirrels are out therewatching what they do each and
every day.
They don't let anything get inthe way.
They just keep going, going,going.
Jami Carlacio (31:42):
They're so tenacious yes uh, they just
don't, they just focus, focus,focus right and and they often,
as I think I've heard, sometimesthey forget where they've
buried their nuts.
I've heard that now they'rethey buried their nuts.
John "Cadillac" Saville (31:55):
I know I've heard that too, and so
they're just out there diggingaround.
Jami Carlacio (31:58):
So if you wonder why you got a bunch of holes?
It's because the squirrelsforgot where they buried their
stuff.
John "Cadillac" Saville (32:02):
That happens with me a lot.
I forget where I put my keys orwhatever.
So it happens.
Jami Carlacio (32:06):
Yeah, I have to put my stuff in the same place,
or I, you know, I would leave myhead at home sometimes, I think
.
John "Cadillac" Saville (32:13):
If my head wasn't screwed onto me or
bolted onto me, it'd be lostsomewhere.
Jami Carlacio (32:18):
Yeah, and so I think what you and I are doing
right now is practicingemotional intelligence, and one
of the ways we do, that is we'reable to laugh at ourselves.
John "Cadillac" Savill (32:30):
Laughter is wonderful.
That's one of the greatestgifts we ever had or gotten from
our maker.
Laugh, laugh, yeah, what itdoes just for health benefits
when you laugh.
That's why, when you wake up,even before you go to bed at
night, try to stay away fromwatching news first thing in the
morning.
Jami Carlacio (32:46):
Oh, Lordy Lordy, I do not do that.
John "Cadillac" Saville (32:49):
Watch something funny.
Watch before you go to bed.
Jami Carlacio (32:54):
I watch dance videos.
John "Cadillac" Saville (32:57):
Yeah, whatever is going to make you
smile, that's the way to go tosleep at night.
You know it's going to keepyour blood pressure down.
Jami Carlacio (33:01):
It's going to be so much better for your overall
health oh lord, I know I used toteach a course on the news and
I loved it, and I actually was ajournalist in another lifetime,
well before I started teaching,and so I've always been a bit
of a news junkie.
But I, since I stopped teachingand I again, I taught this
course on the media anddemocracy and the digital age
(33:23):
and it was a.
It was a popular course becausepeople are interested in the
news and it was a really greatway to understand how the media
works in our society and howoftentimes the news works in our
society and how oftentimes thenews you know the way that they
get ratings is they basicallycreate a culture of fear, and so
(33:43):
if you're afraid, you keepwatching, because maybe you need
more information, and so thefear is actually what sucks us
in, and then that just kind ofyou know does a number on us.
John "Cadillac" Saville (33:54):
It perpetuates and it just gets
crazier and crazier.
Jami Carlacio (33:57):
Yeah, and then people think, oh, the world's
terrible.
Well, if you watch too muchnews, yeah.
Right and that isn't to saybury your head in the sand.
John "Cadillac" Saville (34:06):
No, but there's so much more good out
there.
It's just they're not going tocover it because they've tried
doing good news channels in thepast and they've failed.
Yeah news channels in the pastand they've failed People,
unfortunately.
It's like when you're goingdown a highway.
Look how everybody stops whenthere's an accident.
All the rubberneck and peoplejust want to see the accident.
What happened?
Jami Carlacio (34:25):
Well, I think partly we also.
I think I look too mainly inhopes that I hope they're okay
or I need to slow down becausethere's something going on that
that is requiring me to paycloser attention, and so so I
think people look, but I I'mhoping they they don't look out
(34:47):
of some kind of morbidsatisfaction, but out of, maybe,
concern, like oh gosh,something terrible happened over
there.
John "Cadillac" Saville (34:56):
I hope it's okay you also notice when
people gossip, a lot of timespeople all of a sudden they just
hone in on it yeah and I try todo my very best to stay away
from gossip negative, because Idon't want to speak ill of
people.
You know I just don't want to.
If I'm going to speak about you, I'm going to honor you.
So when it gets back to you oh,john said such and such a thing
(35:17):
it's always going to be goodbecause it's going to get back
to you at some point down theline.
So I mean that's one thing,that's.
Jami Carlacio (35:23):
That's very dangerous gossiping about others
yeah, yeah, you're rightcharacter assassination right
yes, and there's a lot of thatgoing on.
We see it all over the placeyeah, and I think that goes back
to how do you feel aboutyourself, and I think if you
feel good about yourself, thatallows you some space to feel
(35:45):
good about other people and whenpeople feel bad about
themselves, they're more apt tolash out right, that's what I
mean yeah, instead of elevatingthemselves to get better.
John "Cadillac" Saville (35:55):
They'll try to knock other people down
to a certain level.
Jami Carlacio (35:58):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (36:00):
And that can be.
That can be a very dangerousthing.
Jami Carlacio (36:03):
Right, so I think the first thing we want to do,
though, is Create that structureand that foundation in
ourselves, through empathy and,you know, being willing to
explore and being willing toadmit you're not perfect, admit
that you're still learning,you're still a work in progress.
John "Cadillac" Saville (36:24):
That's right the times we stop learning
.
The day we stop learning is theday we really exist.
In a lot of ways, we justreally need to completely mature
and be a better version ofourselves.
But it is a journey.
Jami Carlacio (36:36):
Yeah, it is.
It is a journey, but it's, youknow, and I used to.
I mean, there are times whenthese kind of cliched phrases
come to mind and they get old,but they're true, the journey is
the thing.
John "Cadillac" Saville (36:54):
Right, it is.
Jami Carlacio (36:55):
Because that's where the learning happens,
that's where the joy comes, youknow, that's where you get to
see things and experience things.
If you're already get whereyou're going, then, and without
going on the journey, you, whatdid you learn?
What did you gain Exactly?
John "Cadillac" Saville (37:15):
It's all about the learning process,
and that's how we were talkingabout earlier.
That's how we grow.
Jami Carlacio (37:19):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (37:20):
Better human beings, more empathetic,
more caring.
Jami Carlacio (37:22):
Yes, and we need that.
John "Cadillac" Saville (37:27):
We do, we do without question
especially in this day and age,where our country is becoming
more and more divided regardingthe next president of the United
.
Jami Carlacio (37:35):
States that some people are taking it hard and
(37:57):
some people have sort of decidednot to be nice to people who
voted for the candidate thatthey didn't vote for and that's
just inimical to success.
And that isn't to say I agreewith people politically, because
there are a lot of people Idon't agree with, but I don't
necessarily wish them ill.
John "Cadillac" Saville (38:19):
No, remember back in the days when
we can agree to disagree, orpeople back in the day when they
voted and you said, well, whodo you vote for?
They would say none of yourbusiness, you know they would
never even tell you who theyvoted for back in the day.
They would say none of yourbusiness, you know they would
never even tell you who theyvoted for back in the day.
But my whole thing personally,you know, whoever you voted for,
it's not going to affect myfriendship.
You know, with you I'm going torespect you, respect your view.
(38:39):
I may not agree with it, but wecan agree to disagree, but I'm
still going to show you the loveand respect as a fellow human
being I'm not going to ostracizeyou or unfriend you on
Instagram or Facebook becauseyou voted for a certain person.
To me, talking about emotionalintelligence, that's not
emotional intelligence in myview.
Jami Carlacio (38:58):
Right, Right.
Again it goes back to feelingpositive self-regard.
And if you can feel positiveself-regard, you're in much.
You're in a much better placeto offer that positive regard to
others sure and again, nobodysaid this was easy stuff.
There are times when it's hardto like certain people or it's
(39:19):
hard to be around certain things, but again I keep coming back
to having being mindful, havingthat sovereign self and drawing
on the inner sage.
You know, one of the sagepowers is navigate and we
oftentimes come to a crossroadsand have to make a major
decision.
You know asking your older selfwhat would you tell my younger
(39:42):
self right now?
What would that 20 year olderperson say to this person?
And know navigating those kindsof things.
You know exploring, navigating,innovating, thinking outside
the box, taking chances, failingup, failing forward, failing
fast, whatever you want to callit.
John "Cadillac" Saville (40:04):
And then you know taking action it's
almost like when people say Iwish I knew then what I know now
right, oh don't we all?
Youth is wasted on the young,or something of that nature.
We heard those aphorismseverywhere yeah but we've gotten
to where we are right now.
We need to celebrate where weare right now.
Yeah, the words and all yep,that's right.
Jami Carlacio (40:26):
Well, john, you and I talked earlier.
You had shared a song that youlike and I pulled it up and I'm
going to just share my screenand play just a small clip of it
for our audience.
John "Cadillac" Saville (41:05):
Go right back and laughing my
mistakes.
Young enough to look at thefuture and like what I see, my
best days are ahead of me.
Jami Carlacio (41:29):
Yes, yeah, my best days are ahead of us.
(41:50):
Yes, yes, they are.
And so, you know, live in today, live in the now, be mindful.
But obviously we do have tothink about you know what we're
going to wear tomorrow.
Get up, do you know whereyou're going?
You know what you have to do,but it is all about really again
sticking in.
You know, staying in thepresent, thanking your source,
your higher power, god.
Whatever you know, you feeldrives you.
John "Cadillac" Saville (42:06):
And we only have grace for today.
Jami Carlacio (42:08):
Like it says, grace for tomorrow hasn't been
given yet.
John "Cadillac" Saville (42:10):
So we focus on the grace we have for
today and it's going to be theretomorrow for what we need.
But, like you said, we reallyhave to live in the moment so
much, because if we don't, thenwe've wasted that time that
we'll never get back again.
Right Faith over fear, worshipover worry.
Jami Carlacio (42:27):
Yeah, right Now you've heard the phrase, I'm
sure if you, if you worry, don'tbother praying.
If you pray, don't botherworrying.
I know there's something aboutfaith, yeah, and I've actually
had this conversation withpeople that some people feel
like if they, if they're afraid,they don't have faith, and I
(42:49):
don't think that's always true.
If they're afraid, they don'thave faith, and I don't think
that's always true.
I think you can have fear andhave faith, but then ask for
help to remove the fear.
Acknowledge that, yeah, here'sthe fear.
I have faith.
I'm asking for help right now.
I mean.
John "Cadillac" Saville (43:04):
Look at the disciples who were with
Jesus.
They saw all the miracles hedid in person and they still
feared.
Jami Carlacio (43:12):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (43:13):
So we didn't.
We don't have that luxury, wedid not see in person what he
did.
So if we start doubting orafraid, cut ourselves some slack
.
Yeah, it's okay, god knows thatyou know, it's okay, you'll be
fine.
So we're all going to doubt,we're all going to have fear,
but, like you said, let's justhone right in and say father, I
need your help.
Yes, help me.
(43:34):
Help me understand what I needto understand.
Ask him you know, just broughthim in.
Include him, and he'll be therefor you.
Jami Carlacio (43:43):
Yes, and that is a great way to end this podcast.
Again, John, you've beenawesome.
Thank you so much for thisconversation.
John "Cadillac" Saville (43:51):
Jami, many blessings to you.
Thanks for all the great workyou're doing, and we need to get
a coffee date again at somepoint down the line.
Jami Carlacio (43:58):
Yes, absolutely, at Common Grounds.
Is that Branford?
I love that place.
Yes, yes.
And so again, if you liked whatyou heard today, please like
and subscribe to this podcast.
We need your support.
Thank you so much and we'll seeyou at the Emotional
Intelligence Gym.
Take care everybody.
John "Cadillac" Saville (44:19):
Thank you for watching.
Jami Carlacio (44:21):
Thanks, bye-bye.
We've all gotten our imperfections all
of this.
We all have that in common Noneof us are perfect, but we just
do the best we can with what wehave and we try not to compare
ourselves, because comparison isthe thief of joy.
When somebody told me that along time ago, I never forgot
that.
You know, if you were meant tobe taller or shorter or whatever
(00:20):
, our maker would have made usthat way, every one of us you,
me and everybody watching thispodcast right now has exactly
what they need to reach theirdestiny.
They have a single tool theyneed from our maker.
So just focus on that and don'tdon't try to be somebody you're
not Cause if you had somethingyou're looking at another person
(00:40):
.
I wish I had that.
It would be a burden and not ablessing, because it's not meant
for you.
It's meant for them, but youhave gifts that they don't have,
so just embrace what you have.
Jami Carlacio (00:58):
Welcome to the podcast Emotional Intelligence
your greatest asset and key tosuccess.
I'm your host, Dr.
Jami Carlacio, coming to youfrom the Greater New Haven,
Connecticut area.
A s an emotional intelligenceor EQ coach.
I'm committed to helping peopledevelop both emotional
intelligence and mental fitness.
That is, you'll come to regardproblems as situations that help
(01:23):
you learn and grow.
Eq is a way of being and doingin the world that enables you to
develop and sustain a positiverelationship with yourself and
others, at home, at work andeverywhere in between.
Please subscribe to thispodcast and tap the like button
so more people can enjoy thebenefits of EQ.
And now here's the show.
(01:44):
All right, hello and welcomeeverybody to the podcast
Emotional Intelligence yourGreatest Asset and Key to
Success.
And I have somebody here whoembodies that exactly.
His name is JohnCadillac-Seville.
How are you today, john?
John "Cadillac" Saville (02:03):
Hey, Jami, I'm doing great, I'm
hanging out with you and a wholebunch of your viewers.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
Jami Carlacio (02:14):
It is.
It is.
So let me just tell our guestsa little bit about you.
You gave me a very brief bio,so I hope that in our
conversation we can learn alittle bit more about you.
So for those of you who don'tknow John, john "Cadillac
Seville is a Billboard RadioPersonality of the Year nominee
several times.
He's a podcaster, he's avoiceover talent, he is a social
(02:36):
influencer and he is thepresident of John Seville
Entertainment.
He is also the senior directorof Melaleuca.
He's a fitness enthusiast, acounselor and mentor, and John
has been a wonderful mentor tome too a kind of a spiritual
slash, I don't know positivementor, I would say.
(02:58):
And he is married to the lovelyPatty, and he has been since
2008.
And they live in Guilford,connecticut, with their two.
In John's words, kitty boys"
Ah, my boys.
You memorized that all so wellall, jami, I'm impressed.
(03:19):
Well, you didn't give me a dissertation.
Some people give me a book andit's like I don't know if I can
say all of that.
John "Cadillac" Saville (03:25):
Oh me a dissertation.
no, no, things are good andwhatever you want to add is fine
, but I just can't wait to chatwith you and just see where this
goes.
Jami Carlacio (03:31):
Okay, well, let's get right into it.
So this is a podcast onemotional intelligence, and I
asked you specifically to be onthis podcast because you are one
of the most positive peoplethat I have ever met, and I just
think that when you come into aroom, you light it up, you make
(03:51):
people feel good aboutthemselves and you have that
kind of aura that speaks volumes.
Without even saying a word, youjust come in with some kind of
brilliance and, john, you and Ihave talked a lot.
I know that we share a lot ofspiritual values and we share
(04:12):
the value of emotionalintelligence, but I'm wondering
if we could just get to know youa little bit, would you mind
telling us just a little bitabout, maybe, growing up and
what influenced you to be thekind of person you are today?
John "Cadillac" Saville (04:25):
Jamie, I've been very fortunate.
I mean I'm adopted.
Jami Carlacio (04:28):
Oh, you are.
John "Cadillac" Saville (04:34):
Yeah, I'm adopted.
I have an adopted brother,adopted sister and.
But you know, I was raised inNorth Brantford, connecticut,
and moved to Guilford,connecticut, and went to school
in that town and got involved inall different kinds of sports
and theater and music.
I mean I sang in a band.
I did a lot of, you know,community theater, high school
theater, college theater.
I wanted to be as well-versedas I possibly can and I did have
(04:54):
a deep faith ever since I was akid.
My mom and dad brought me tochurch, but my faith has really
grown over the years.
But I've always wanted to bethis kind of a person who's
well-versed, is able to getalong with all different kinds
of people, because I'mfascinated by people, I love
people, I love to hear theirstories, I love animals.
I just don't want to ever losethat childlike curiosity and I'm
(05:18):
not sure exactly where thatcame from my parents to a point
but it's something I think thatI've innately had my entire life
.
Jami Carlacio (05:30):
You know, I want to, I want to go back to that
because that's extremelyimportant, this idea that you
have a childlike curiosity.
I meet so many people thesedays who feel jaded and cynical
and you know, very glass halfempty kind of a thing, and I see
you as a glass half full or allthe way full, maybe even just
brimming over, and I'm wantingto, I want to know what it is
(05:53):
that has helped you.
You know, you talk aboutcuriosity and one of the sage
powers, if you will, inemotional intelligence and
positive intelligence we talkabout saboteurs, the judge and
then nine accomplices that arealways running through our head
at any given moment.
But the inner sage is the sagethat is full of empathy for self
(06:14):
and others and is a sage whoexplores.
So let's say something doesn'twork and instead of saying, well
, that didn't work, forget it.
Let's just forget it.
We're not going to do it.
It doesn't work, it's exploreand ask questions and that's
that curiosity.
So how has curiosity served youas a professional and how did
(06:36):
you get into being a DJ?
Was that just a naturalprogression of your interest in
theater?
I asked way too many questions,sir.
John "Cadillac" Saville (06:42):
No, no, there's a lot there, but I
think you know we were talkingabout the saboteur and things.
It's like watching thosecartoons and you have the angel
on one shoulder, the devil onthe other.
I'll hear those voices all thetime and 75% of the time they
say that we wake up in themorning it's negative thoughts
that come into our mind rightaway.
So I feel like I'm a tennisplayer volleying the ball back
(07:05):
and forth.
Negative comes in, I'm sendingthe ball over the net again and
going positive, and thennegative comes back again.
So I'm always replacingnegative with positive all the
time and that's become a naturalreflex with me, I think due to
my faith.
So when I wake up in the morning, I'm very intentional about my
day.
I do my prayerful work, I do mygratitude exercises, I do my
(07:28):
yoga, so it's like my body and Iwant to develop that spiritual
mental armor before I go outinto the world to give me that
protection I need against allthe negativity out there.
Yes, I'm hoping to be thatbright light.
I know it sounds PollyannaKumbaya.
Jami Carlacio (07:45):
Yes, it kind of does.
John "Cadillac" Saville (07:46):
But that's how I live my life, Jamie
.
Jami Carlacio (07:48):
No.
John "Cadillac" Saville (07:49):
I have negative days, like anybody else
.
I have days where I doubtmyself.
Do you?
Oh yeah, I question my ownability sometimes, whether I
really matter sometimes.
And I have fears like anybodyelse has, but I just choose to
focus on.
Whenever I feel that way, Ijust say Jesus, help me, father,
(08:14):
help me how do you see me?
Jami Carlacio (08:15):
Not how I see me or the world, but how do you see
me?
Yes, oh, I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
I'm going to come back to that,but I want to capitalize on
something else that you said,and that is that that we all
have the saboteurs every day,and you start your day with
three things.
You start, you know, in prayerand in gratitude, and then you
take care of your physical bodythrough breath, work and yoga.
(08:37):
I do the same exact thing and II tell people that I see every
day at work, I get my coffeebecause that's I love my coffee,
but the first thing I do is Igo back to bed and I meditate
and pray and when I wake up I'mfeeling anxious.
(09:00):
But when I get out of bed tostart my day I'm in a completely
different frame of mind and Icannot emphasize enough how
important that part of my day is.
And I know a lot of people say,oh, I don't have time and I'm
busy, wake up a few minutesearly.
John "Cadillac" Saville (09:20):
That's an excellent point.
Wake up a few minutes early,successful people.
Many times they'll take anextra half hour 45 minutes and
what you can accomplish in thattime.
As you know as well as anybody,it's amazing what you can do in
that half hour 45 minutes andI'll say, well, god is worth it.
To me, I have very, very deepfaith, like you do too.
Some people call it theuniverse, whatever they do, and
(09:42):
I admire and I respect what theydo, but to me it's God, and I
just let him know that he'sfirst in my life and he is the
one who opens up the doors, he'sthe one who makes things happen
, he's the one who gives me thathedge of protection wherever I
go.
So he's my source, andeverything else on this planet
is a resource, first andforemost, each and every day.
(10:03):
Am I successful every day withthat?
No, do I have challenges everyday?
Absolutely, we all do.
But in the bible it says rainfalls on the just and rain falls
on the unjust.
We're all going to havechallenges yeah, right, we are.
Jami Carlacio (10:17):
And, um, I want to also go back to this idea of
of sort of the the negativevoice over here and the positive
voice over here, and and justsay, because what you said, and
and I don't want us to glossover it, because it's so
important when you have anegative thought, okay, yep,
here it is, here's the negativethought I'm not good enough, or
(10:39):
I'm not going to succeed here,or that person doesn't like me,
or this thing went wrong, orwhatever.
But we can change our thoughts.
Yes, right, so you can, andthat's why I think of it as
reframing, you know, and incognitive behavioral therapy,
that's what.
That's what it's all about.
(10:59):
It's about looking at yourthoughts and seeing them and
noticing them and then decidingwhether or not they serve your
highest good.
And a thought that says you'renot good enough, nobody likes
you, this isn't right, thosedon't serve your highest good.
However, you want to definethat.
John "Cadillac" Saville (11:20):
I mean, my whole thing is change the
channel.
If you don't like a TV show,you change the channel.
There's 500 channels, whateverit may be.
And if you don't like thatmovie, go watch another movie.
And it's the liar, it's theevil one speaking to you,
telling you you're not worthywho do you think you are?
And trying to bring back allthe failures you've had in your
(11:40):
life and put it on a loop.
That's not right, and thathappens with all of us.
Each human being goes throughthat.
But we just have to learn, likeyou said, to cognitively change
the channel and just focus onwhat's good about us.
We always want to be negative,but what is good about us?
What do you like about yourself?
Jami Carlacio (12:02):
We have magnifying minds, and so you
know, as some people have said,what you focus on, rose, yes,
and so if you're focusing onthings that you perceive as
wrong or bad, then everyeverything is like a carpenter
(12:22):
with a hammer Everything's anail, it's magnified.
John "Cadillac" Saville (12:26):
Yes we have magnifying minds.
Jami Carlacio (12:29):
Yes, yes, yeah, and so we can choose.
And that isn't to say, like youwere saying earlier, that
everything's perfect andhunky-dory all the time, but one
thing I learned 20 years ago Ilearned this from Eckhart Tolle,
actually from the Power of Now,and I probably said it on this
podcast before, but I'm going tosay it again and again.
(12:53):
And that is there's no suchthing as problems.
There are situations, and assoon as you change the word
problem to situation, the thingitself may have happened.
You got in a car accident,you're late to work, you lost
your job, something happened.
Whatever you know, thingshappen.
(13:13):
It's a situation that demands aresponse, and so how do we
choose to respond to stuff?
And that's then that goes intobuilding that time in for
mindfulness in the morningtrains your brain, which is a
big fat muscle.
John "Cadillac" Saville (13:32):
That's right.
Jami Carlacio (13:33):
And we were training our brain.
I talk about the PQ gym, thepositive intelligence gym or the
emotional intelligence gym.
It's a muscle that just needsto be trained, but, just like
anything, if you don't exerciseit, it gets flabby.
John "Cadillac" Saville (13:49):
They say neuroplasticity.
So we told her I went with thebrain and it's really true.
I mean, we are what we thinkeach and every day that
manifests on the body, and somethings of what we say can really
change our whole reality.
Jami Carlacio (14:03):
It does.
John "Cadillac" Saville (14:05):
So let's just speak faith and and
speak faith into other peopletoo, because so many people have
a negative attitude or they'rea negative self image and just
by saying one thing and make itsincere, because people can tell
you're not sincere but.
If you're really good to peopleand you uplift them, change
their whole trajectory.
Jami Carlacio (14:21):
You know it can change.
A smile can change a person'sday, right?
How are you doing today, right?
You know, and today yeah andsometimes it's as simple as
maybe for for women.
I mean, I don't, I don't knowfor men, but for if it's a woman
I might just say I really likeyour shoes, or I like the way
(14:44):
you did your nails, or I paythem a personal compliment.
That's honest.
Yes, as a way of almostestablishing a connection.
John "Cadillac" Saville (14:54):
Right, and that's great.
I mean everybody.
Everybody appreciates acompliment, as long as it's
sincere, right.
Find something good withsomeone.
Everybody you meet that you cansay something good to, and no
matter who you run into, there'ssomething about them, that's
good.
Jami Carlacio (15:11):
Yes.
John "Cadillac" Saville (15:11):
Just focus on that.
Don't assume that if somebodylooks good, that they're getting
compliments all the time.
Many times they're not.
Yeah, because people are afraidto be vulnerable or they want
to hold back the compliment forwhatever reason.
Freely share it.
Jami Carlacio (15:25):
I have to tell you somebody complimented me
today and then apologized forthe compliment.
John "Cadillac" Saville (15:31):
Really.
Jami Carlacio (15:32):
Yes and I said no .
No need to apologize.
I really appreciate it andthank you.
John "Cadillac" Saville (15:39):
Yeah.
Jami Carlacio (15:39):
Yeah, he paid me a really lovely compliment, but
because he was a man.
Yeah, he paid me a reallylovely compliment, but because
he was a man, he felt like hemight have done something wrong.
And it was a very innocentcompliment and a very nice one
and a very honest one and Ithought it was lovely.
But he apologized because hewas afraid that I might take it
(16:02):
the wrong way.
John "Cadillac" Saville (16:04):
It's too bad that we have to feel
that way, but I know it's theworld we live in right now and
the political mores and some ofthe things that are going on.
But just feel right, feelconfident.
I admire the fact that he wasconscious enough to do that.
He was respectful enough to dothat.
I mean, we shouldn't reallyhave to, but I get where he's
coming from.
Jami Carlacio (16:23):
Yeah, he was being very polite and very
respectful, yeah, yeah, and hewanted me to know that.
He wanted me to know that hiscompliment was honest and coming
from the heart.
John "Cadillac" Saville (16:37):
I love it.
Jami Carlacio (16:37):
Yeah, yeah.
So that was one thing.
And going back toneuroplasticity, I actually
wrote a little ebook on traumaand thriving not just surviving
but thriving and one of thethings I talk about in this book
is neuroplasticity.
And you know, I think of ourbrain, as you know, this big
(17:01):
mass of neural networks, andthey're just these pathways that
we've built over the years andthey've got grooves right,
because I often use kind of animage like this We've got the
judge and the saboteur pathwaythat's very well trodden and the
grooves are deep and so it'seasy to keep going down those
(17:22):
pathways because they're so wellworn.
The sage pathway needs to beworn in.
It might be uncomfortable orfeel odd, but if you continue to
use that pathway, that will bethe well-worn pathway.
Sure, let's go down the roadless traveled yeah and let's
(17:44):
make it more traveled exactly,and let's bring some people
along with us too yeah, yeah,you know, um, scientists say
that we have maybe, on average,64 000 thoughts a day and 95 of
them are the same from day today.
So if you think about it, if60,000 of your thoughts are, say
(18:08):
, negative and they're the sameday after day, you can easily
see why the the kind of thesaboteur pathway is the way it
is.
And I think of it as like therabbit hole, because I used to
go down that rabbit hole a lot.
I, I, I didn't, I didn't havelike a rosy childhood and I, you
(18:31):
know, I've had a lot ofchallenges in my life, but when
I discovered, I had an epiphanya few years ago, when I
discovered that I'm not mytrauma, that my middle name
isn't my job description oranything else.
John "Cadillac" Saville (18:46):
That's right, it's like well, what do
you do for a living?
I'll say I do this and that,but it's not who I am, it's what
I do Big difference.
Jami Carlacio (18:54):
Right, right, and I think our society asks us to
identify so much with what we dofor a living to identify so
much with what we do for aliving.
John "Cadillac" Saville (19:07):
That'd be dangerous, because if you
lose that living, then all of asudden you're feeling of self
Self-worth can just dissipate.
Jami Carlacio (19:13):
Right, exactly.
So if our self-worth is tied upin our job description and it
is and it's easy to see why,because we place a lot of value
on different types of jobs orprofessions and if your identity
is tied up in that and you have, like I used to teach, and if I
(19:34):
had a bad if I quote unquote,had a bad teaching day, if I had
a day where I didn't feel likeI reached students or the
students, for whatever reason,the class just didn't gel or
whatever.
I felt bad and my wholeself-worth depended on how the
classroom went that day and Ihad to get out of that place
(19:56):
because it was killing me todepend.
That my mood depended on anhour or two, my mood depended on
an hour or two, that sometimesthe circumstances weren't in my
control.
If a lot of students skippedclass for whatever reason you
know it was a snowy day, theyjust didn't want to drive in or
whatever reason, Right, I had nocontrol over that, but I would
(20:21):
take it personally.
Or I would think, oh no, myclass whatever, but I would take
it personally.
Or I would think, oh no, myclass whatever.
And then I would, I, my wholemood shifted into the negative
and it took away the joy of thework for me.
John "Cadillac" Saville (20:36):
And too many times people let their
circumstances dictate theirhappiness.
I remember the Apostle Paul inthe Bible said I've learned to
be happy in all situations.
I've learned to be happy, andhe referred to like all of his
challenges as minor afflictions.
Here's a guy who got beat withrods and wrote most of the New
(20:56):
Testament in a dungeon andshackles and chains and he
called that a minor affliction.
Jami Carlacio (21:00):
Jamie, yeah, I think Paul was yeah.
Brilliant, yeah, I know, I knowflitching jamie.
Yeah, I think I think paul wasyeah brilliant.
Yeah, uh, I I know, I know, uh,I I happen to really like paul.
John "Cadillac" Saville (21:15):
He's one of my biblical.
He's one of my favoritebiblical figures yeah, our mood
being dictated by whether we geta check in the mail or not yeah
check, then all of a suddenwe're happy that day.
If it doesn't come, then wewere in a bad mood for the rest
of the day.
We've blown that day.
The check comes the next day,everything's good.
But we can't get back that,back that, that 24 hours that we
(21:37):
just let that loom in ourbrains.
Jami Carlacio (21:39):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (21:40):
Right.
Jami Carlacio (21:40):
And so that's why I value emotional intelligence
so much.
It's really why I started thepodcast, because I started
feeling so much freer when Idivorced my self image from my
job and from anything thathappened to me in the past and
when I stopped that and I becamea positive intelligence coach
(22:04):
and I also went into kind oflife coaching and then recovery
coaching and in all of thosethings helped me realize that
resilience is important andbouncing back and again,
pivoting and innovating andexploring and you know, but I
(22:25):
think empathy has been a hugething just learning to love
myself, learning to accept mymistakes and accept my
imperfections and that they'renot a death sentence or a jail
sentence.
John "Cadillac" Saville (22:43):
And we've all gotten our
imperfections all of this.
We all have that in common Noneof us are perfect, but we just
do the best we can with what wehave and we try not to compare
ourselves, because comparison isthe thief of joy.
When somebody told me that along time ago, I never forgot
that.
You know, if you were meant tohave be taller or shorter,
whatever our maker would havemade us that way.
(23:05):
Every one of us you, me andeverybody watching this podcast
right now has exactly what theyneed to reach their destiny.
They have a single tool theyneed from our maker.
So just focus on that and don'ttry to be somebody you're not,
because if you, had somethingyou're looking at another person
.
I wish I had that.
It would be a burden and not ablessing, because it's not meant
(23:28):
for you.
It's meant for them, but youhave gifts that they don't have,
so just embrace what you have.
Jami Carlacio (23:41):
Right, right, and I like the idea of gifts.
I want to just say to all ofyou who are either listening or
watching, if this is resonatingwith you, please like and
subscribe this podcast, becausethe more people who like and
subscribe to it, the morevisible it gets and the more
people get the message that youcan live a life of your dreams.
You do not have to be rich, youdo not have to be famous, you
(24:01):
do not have to be beautiful orwhatever that even means, but it
really is an inside job, isn'tit?
John "Cadillac" Saville (24:09):
Yes, it is.
Jami Carlacio (24:10):
Yeah and again yeah.
Comparison is a thief of joyand you know, I'll be the first
to admit, I always want to betaller.
I'm five feet tall and so assoon as I was allowed, I started
wearing heels, because I justnever felt okay with my height,
(24:31):
and now I don't care.
John "Cadillac" Saville (24:34):
That's right.
They say dynamite comes insmall packages and you are
dynamite in so many ways, myfriend.
Jami Carlacio (24:41):
Yeah.
So tell us a little bit aboutwhat you're doing in Guilford,
connecticut.
I know you're a DJ.
I know you host a show or twoon a couple of radio stations.
Can you say maybe just a littlebit about that for the local
people who might be watching orlistening?
John "Cadillac" Saville (24:57):
Sure, I mean I'm very much involved in
the community with my church andI do a lot of fundraising
activities.
My wife says my biggest problemis I have a hard time saying no
.
I want to help everybody.
I just love, love, love.
It just gets me going theadrenaline.
When I can help people, I justbelieve in karma, Just go out
there and do the right thingright and I work at several
different radio stations, mostnotably here and locally, on
(25:20):
iHeartRadio on the River 105.9,which is classic hits 70s, 80s,
90s.
Jami Carlacio (25:26):
That's my favorite.
John "Cadillac" Saville (25:28):
And Country 92.5, you know which.
You know.
Country music is so hotnowadays, and in different
formats.
Whenever they need me Top 40,hip hop I can do anything.
And then I have my DJ business,which primarily focuses on
weddings, parties.
We do all kinds of events.
I have five DJs to keep busyand it's a really busy time
(25:48):
because people got engaged overthe holidays.
Jami Carlacio (25:51):
So a lot of them are looking for their vendors.
John "Cadillac" Saville (25:56):
So we're booking like crazy right
now for weddings and uh and thatnature.
Jami Carlacio (25:58):
So it's it's a good time of year yeah, and I
know you and I met each otherthrough a networking group and I
remember you was saying how youwere booking into the next year
yeah, even in the 27, right nowreally now.
John "Cadillac" Saville (26:11):
I'm going to be doing weddings using
a walker at this.
At this point, jane, you knowit's going to be doing weddings
using a walker.
At this point, jane, you knowit's going to be whatever it
takes, I know.
As long as the Lord wants me todo this, I'm going to do it.
Jami Carlacio (26:22):
Yeah, I love it.
And you said you do somevolunteer work or local work,
community fundraising, such as.
John "Cadillac" Saville (26:30):
A lot of community fundraising and
whatever we can.
When people say community orhelping out the military, I mean
I'm going to be there.
Jami Carlacio (26:38):
Yeah, that's awesome and I also want to put a
plug in for some of the.
There is a teach-a-thon goingon at the dance studio where I
take dance lessons the Arthur.
Murray dance studio, arthurMurray and Guilford, connecticut
, connecticut, owned by Todd andCarrie.
They are amazing and, yes, andthey're doing a teach-a-thon
(27:01):
this weekend and I'm actuallyI've got a couple of lessons
lined up and I'm excited becausethey're giving, they use that
money, they're doing thisteach-a-thon and they're taking
those proceeds and giving themback to the community.
So I wanted to give a shout outto those guys because talk
about giving back to thecommunity.
I started taking dance lessonsas my son got older and he is
(27:25):
much more independent you knowhe's he's a teenager, he's got
friends in a car and school andeverything and so I started
feeding my soul differently.
And the way I've been feeding itis through dance lessons and I
have to say it has.
It has been a real game changerfor me to just get on the dance
(27:47):
floor.
I started without knowing howto do any formal dance
whatsoever and I have learnedFoxtrot and tango and hustle and
East Coast and West Coast swingand waltz, and I am adding to
my repertoire as we go along.
I'm not in Dancing with theStars, but I have a fabulous
(28:09):
dancer named.
Manny, and what I really likeabout these people and again, I
can't stop talking about them,but they make you feel good, no
matter what you do on the dancefloor.
John "Cadillac" Saville (28:22):
That's a gift.
Jami Carlacio (28:24):
You know, and every, everything is a high 10.
After every day, after everylesson, after every practice
move, it's a high 10.
Thank you, that was great.
That was wonderful.
You could have stepped on feetleft and right.
John "Cadillac" Saville (28:39):
You could have tripped over yourself
.
It doesn't matter, it's allhigh 10.
Jami Carlacio (28:45):
And that helps me accept that I'm not, you know,
facile on the dance floor.
Maybe someday, but not rightnow.
But I can go out and have funand it doesn't matter if I don't
know how to do everything or ifI forget a move, it just
doesn't matter I admire peopleget out there and get out of
(29:07):
their comfort zone and just havesome fun, try something new.
John "Cadillac" Saville (29:11):
Yeah, it's just exhilarating, even if
people I don't like to use theword fail you, and I talk about
that all the time yeah, itdoesn't work out the way you
want.
You tried it.
You did it.
Now pat yourself on the backfor doing something out of your
comfort zone right?
well, that's how we grow yeah,if you just do the same thing
each and every day and just kindof like roll through life or
(29:32):
coast, you're never going togrow.
I mean, you're both adversityor trying different things and
maybe even, you know, notgetting exactly what you want
out of it as far as maybe thesuccess you want.
But who cares?
Jami Carlacio (29:44):
get out there and have some fun, live life yeah,
yeah and in, I think people canbe self-conscious and we don't
like to look dumb or look stupidor look whatever, but I'm here
to tell you that if you can justtake the chance and do
something new, something thatmaybe you think about or oh, I
(30:07):
wish I could do that Just try it.
John "Cadillac" Saville (30:10):
Like somebody who wants to be quite
colloquial before you got tosuck before you're good right.
Jami Carlacio (30:16):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (30:18):
We're all going to be that way.
You know, people just don't popout of a genie bottle and all
of a sudden they're masters atwhat they do.
There's some work going onthere.
Jami Carlacio (30:26):
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
And again, I think, if we haveto use the word fail, I think
there's a phrase fail fast.
John "Cadillac" Saville (30:36):
Or fail forward.
Jami Carlacio (30:37):
Or fail forward, yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (30:39):
I would say if you're going to fall,
fall forward.
Jami Carlacio (30:42):
Yeah, and again.
You can get backed up and youcan try again.
And, as I think I've heardThomas Edison said it, you know
why did you keep trying toinvent the light bulb?
You failed so many times.
He goes no, I didn't fail thatmany times.
I found 10,000 ways that don'twork.
John "Cadillac" Saville (31:05):
And the same thing with Colonel Sanders
, you know, with Kentucky FriedChicken he said things along the
same line.
Or Ben Franklin, one of thegreat inventors of all time.
They just, you know, just keptgoing, kept going.
They weren't, they weren't, thefailure didn't really have, or
the challenge didn't really havea big impact he said, okay,
this doesn't work, let's move on.
They had a tunnel vision.
They were not going to stopuntil they found what they
(31:26):
needed to find right, right,it's kind of like a dog with a
bone yeah, exactly, you look atthe end.
I just look at like a squirrelout there.
And the squirrels are out therewatching what they do each and
every day.
They don't let anything get inthe way.
They just keep going, going,going.
Jami Carlacio (31:42):
They're so tenacious yes uh, they just
don't, they just focus, focus,focus right and and they often,
as I think I've heard, sometimesthey forget where they've
buried their nuts.
I've heard that now they'rethey buried their nuts.
John "Cadillac" Saville (31:55):
I know I've heard that too, and so
they're just out there diggingaround.
Jami Carlacio (31:58):
So if you wonder why you got a bunch of holes?
It's because the squirrelsforgot where they buried their
stuff.
John "Cadillac" Saville (32:02):
That happens with me a lot.
I forget where I put my keys orwhatever.
So it happens.
Jami Carlacio (32:06):
Yeah, I have to put my stuff in the same place,
or I, you know, I would leave myhead at home sometimes, I think
.
John "Cadillac" Saville (32:13):
If my head wasn't screwed onto me or
bolted onto me, it'd be lostsomewhere.
Jami Carlacio (32:18):
Yeah, and so I think what you and I are doing
right now is practicingemotional intelligence, and one
of the ways we do, that is we'reable to laugh at ourselves.
John "Cadillac" Savill (32:30):
Laughter is wonderful.
That's one of the greatestgifts we ever had or gotten from
our maker.
Laugh, laugh, yeah, what itdoes just for health benefits
when you laugh.
That's why, when you wake up,even before you go to bed at
night, try to stay away fromwatching news first thing in the
morning.
Jami Carlacio (32:46):
Oh, Lordy Lordy, I do not do that.
John "Cadillac" Saville (32:49):
Watch something funny.
Watch before you go to bed.
Jami Carlacio (32:54):
I watch dance videos.
John "Cadillac" Saville (32:57):
Yeah, whatever is going to make you
smile, that's the way to go tosleep at night.
You know it's going to keepyour blood pressure down.
Jami Carlacio (33:01):
It's going to be so much better for your overall
health oh lord, I know I used toteach a course on the news and
I loved it, and I actually was ajournalist in another lifetime,
well before I started teaching,and so I've always been a bit
of a news junkie.
But I, since I stopped teachingand I again, I taught this
course on the media anddemocracy and the digital age
(33:23):
and it was a.
It was a popular course becausepeople are interested in the
news and it was a really greatway to understand how the media
works in our society and howoftentimes the news works in our
society and how oftentimes thenews you know the way that they
get ratings is they basicallycreate a culture of fear, and so
(33:43):
if you're afraid, you keepwatching, because maybe you need
more information, and so thefear is actually what sucks us
in, and then that just kind ofyou know does a number on us.
John "Cadillac" Saville (33:54):
It perpetuates and it just gets
crazier and crazier.
Jami Carlacio (33:57):
Yeah, and then people think, oh, the world's
terrible.
Well, if you watch too muchnews, yeah.
Right and that isn't to saybury your head in the sand.
John "Cadillac" Saville (34:06):
No, but there's so much more good out
there.
It's just they're not going tocover it because they've tried
doing good news channels in thepast and they've failed.
Yeah news channels in the pastand they've failed People,
unfortunately.
It's like when you're goingdown a highway.
Look how everybody stops whenthere's an accident.
All the rubberneck and peoplejust want to see the accident.
What happened?
Jami Carlacio (34:25):
Well, I think partly we also.
I think I look too mainly inhopes that I hope they're okay
or I need to slow down becausethere's something going on that
that is requiring me to paycloser attention, and so so I
think people look, but I I'mhoping they they don't look out
(34:47):
of some kind of morbidsatisfaction, but out of, maybe,
concern, like oh gosh,something terrible happened over
there.
John "Cadillac" Saville (34:56):
I hope it's okay you also notice when
people gossip, a lot of timespeople all of a sudden they just
hone in on it yeah and I try todo my very best to stay away
from gossip negative, because Idon't want to speak ill of
people.
You know I just don't want to.
If I'm going to speak about you, I'm going to honor you.
So when it gets back to you oh,john said such and such a thing
(35:17):
it's always going to be goodbecause it's going to get back
to you at some point down theline.
So I mean that's one thing,that's.
Jami Carlacio (35:23):
That's very dangerous gossiping about others
yeah, yeah, you're rightcharacter assassination right
yes, and there's a lot of thatgoing on.
We see it all over the placeyeah, and I think that goes back
to how do you feel aboutyourself, and I think if you
feel good about yourself, thatallows you some space to feel
(35:45):
good about other people and whenpeople feel bad about
themselves, they're more apt tolash out right, that's what I
mean yeah, instead of elevatingthemselves to get better.
John "Cadillac" Saville (35:55):
They'll try to knock other people down
to a certain level.
Jami Carlacio (35:58):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (36:00):
And that can be.
That can be a very dangerousthing.
Jami Carlacio (36:03):
Right, so I think the first thing we want to do,
though, is Create that structureand that foundation in
ourselves, through empathy and,you know, being willing to
explore and being willing toadmit you're not perfect, admit
that you're still learning,you're still a work in progress.
John "Cadillac" Saville (36:24):
That's right the times we stop learning
.
The day we stop learning is theday we really exist.
In a lot of ways, we justreally need to completely mature
and be a better version ofourselves.
But it is a journey.
Jami Carlacio (36:36):
Yeah, it is.
It is a journey, but it's, youknow, and I used to.
I mean, there are times whenthese kind of cliched phrases
come to mind and they get old,but they're true, the journey is
the thing.
John "Cadillac" Saville (36:54):
Right, it is.
Jami Carlacio (36:55):
Because that's where the learning happens,
that's where the joy comes, youknow, that's where you get to
see things and experience things.
If you're already get whereyou're going, then, and without
going on the journey, you, whatdid you learn?
What did you gain Exactly?
John "Cadillac" Saville (37:15):
It's all about the learning process,
and that's how we were talkingabout earlier.
That's how we grow.
Jami Carlacio (37:19):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (37:20):
Better human beings, more empathetic,
more caring.
Jami Carlacio (37:22):
Yes, and we need that.
John "Cadillac" Saville (37:27):
We do, we do without question
especially in this day and age,where our country is becoming
more and more divided regardingthe next president of the United
.
Jami Carlacio (37:35):
States that some people are taking it hard and
(37:57):
some people have sort of decidednot to be nice to people who
voted for the candidate thatthey didn't vote for and that's
just inimical to success.
And that isn't to say I agreewith people politically, because
there are a lot of people Idon't agree with, but I don't
necessarily wish them ill.
John "Cadillac" Saville (38:19):
No, remember back in the days when
we can agree to disagree, orpeople back in the day when they
voted and you said, well, whodo you vote for?
They would say none of yourbusiness, you know they would
never even tell you who theyvoted for back in the day.
They would say none of yourbusiness, you know they would
never even tell you who theyvoted for back in the day.
But my whole thing personally,you know, whoever you voted for,
it's not going to affect myfriendship.
You know, with you I'm going torespect you, respect your view.
(38:39):
I may not agree with it, but wecan agree to disagree, but I'm
still going to show you the loveand respect as a fellow human
being I'm not going to ostracizeyou or unfriend you on
Instagram or Facebook becauseyou voted for a certain person.
To me, talking about emotionalintelligence, that's not
emotional intelligence in myview.
Jami Carlacio (38:58):
Right, Right.
Again it goes back to feelingpositive self-regard.
And if you can feel positiveself-regard, you're in much.
You're in a much better placeto offer that positive regard to
others sure and again, nobodysaid this was easy stuff.
There are times when it's hardto like certain people or it's
(39:19):
hard to be around certain things, but again I keep coming back
to having being mindful, havingthat sovereign self and drawing
on the inner sage.
You know, one of the sagepowers is navigate and we
oftentimes come to a crossroadsand have to make a major
decision.
You know asking your older selfwhat would you tell my younger
(39:42):
self right now?
What would that 20 year olderperson say to this person?
And know navigating those kindsof things.
You know exploring, navigating,innovating, thinking outside
the box, taking chances, failingup, failing forward, failing
fast, whatever you want to callit.
John "Cadillac" Saville (40:04):
And then you know taking action it's
almost like when people say Iwish I knew then what I know now
right, oh don't we all?
Youth is wasted on the young,or something of that nature.
We heard those aphorismseverywhere yeah but we've gotten
to where we are right now.
We need to celebrate where weare right now.
Yeah, the words and all yep,that's right.
Jami Carlacio (40:26):
Well, john, you and I talked earlier.
You had shared a song that youlike and I pulled it up and I'm
going to just share my screenand play just a small clip of it
for our audience.
John "Cadillac" Saville (41:05):
Go right back and laughing my
mistakes.
Young enough to look at thefuture and like what I see, my
best days are ahead of me.
Jami Carlacio (41:29):
Yes, yeah, my best days are ahead of us.
(41:50):
Yes, yes, they are.
And so, you know, live in today, live in the now, be mindful.
But obviously we do have tothink about you know what we're
going to wear tomorrow.
Get up, do you know whereyou're going?
You know what you have to do,but it is all about really again
sticking in.
You know, staying in thepresent, thanking your source,
your higher power, god.
Whatever you know, you feeldrives you.
John "Cadillac" Saville (42:06):
And we only have grace for today.
Jami Carlacio (42:08):
Like it says, grace for tomorrow hasn't been
given yet.
John "Cadillac" Saville (42:10):
So we focus on the grace we have for
today and it's going to be theretomorrow for what we need.
But, like you said, we reallyhave to live in the moment so
much, because if we don't, thenwe've wasted that time that
we'll never get back again.
Right Faith over fear, worshipover worry.
Jami Carlacio (42:27):
Yeah, right Now you've heard the phrase, I'm
sure if you, if you worry, don'tbother praying.
If you pray, don't botherworrying.
I know there's something aboutfaith, yeah, and I've actually
had this conversation withpeople that some people feel
like if they, if they're afraid,they don't have faith, and I
(42:49):
don't think that's always true.
If they're afraid, they don'thave faith, and I don't think
that's always true.
I think you can have fear andhave faith, but then ask for
help to remove the fear.
Acknowledge that, yeah, here'sthe fear.
I have faith.
I'm asking for help right now.
I mean.
John "Cadillac" Saville (43:04):
Look at the disciples who were with
Jesus.
They saw all the miracles hedid in person and they still
feared.
Jami Carlacio (43:12):
Yeah.
John "Cadillac" Saville (43:13):
So we didn't.
We don't have that luxury, wedid not see in person what he
did.
So if we start doubting orafraid, cut ourselves some slack
.
Yeah, it's okay, god knows thatyou know, it's okay, you'll be
fine.
So we're all going to doubt,we're all going to have fear,
but, like you said, let's justhone right in and say father, I
need your help.
Yes, help me.
(43:34):
Help me understand what I needto understand.
Ask him you know, just broughthim in.
Include him, and he'll be therefor you.
Jami Carlacio (43:43):
Yes, and that is a great way to end this podcast.
Again, John, you've beenawesome.
Thank you so much for thisconversation.
John "Cadillac" Saville (43:51):
Jami, many blessings to you.
Thanks for all the great workyou're doing, and we need to get
a coffee date again at somepoint down the line.
Jami Carlacio (43:58):
Yes, absolutely, at Common Grounds.
Is that Branford?
I love that place.
Yes, yes.
And so again, if you liked whatyou heard today, please like
and subscribe to this podcast.
We need your support.
Thank you so much and we'll seeyou at the Emotional
Intelligence Gym.
Take care everybody.
John "Cadillac" Saville (44:19):
Thank you for watching.
Jami Carlacio (44:21):
Thanks, bye-bye.
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