July 10, 2025 • 22 mins
What happens when the messages we want from our departed loved ones aren't the messages they choose to deliver? This profound question lies at the heart of authentic mediumship, where expectations and spiritual reality often collide in unexpected ways.
During a recent Mediumship Mastermind session focused on message delivery, spirit took over—as they always do—steering our conversation toward the complex dynamics between what clients expect and what spirit provides. As mediums, we often find ourselves in a delicate position: we can sense exactly what our clients desperately want to hear, yet our responsibility is solely to transmit the authentic communication from spirit, regardless of whether it satisfies those expectations.
My own journey illustrates this perfectly. Years ago, before discovering my mediumship abilities, I visited a talented medium hoping for clear guidance about a career decision. Instead of the direct answer I craved, I received what seemed like an unhelpful "everything will be fine" message. Looking back now, I laugh at how profound that message truly was—it genuinely didn't matter which immediate path I chose because my soul was destined for this metaphysical work regardless. What I needed wasn't career advice but proof of life's continuation, and that's precisely what I received through evidential details about departed family members.
Throughout our mastermind discussion, we explored the challenging situations mediums face: when clients need healing that departed loved ones seem unwilling to provide; when spirits refuse to apologize because they see the situation from a higher perspective; when painful experiences are revealed as chosen soul contracts. In one profound example, spirit showed me a client's situation as an intricate spider web—where changing one thread might collapse the entire structure of their spiritual journey. These are the deep truths we often can't share directly with clients without sounding insensitive, yet they represent the greater wisdom spirit operates from.
Whether you're a developing medium or someone seeking connection with loved ones beyond the veil, I challenge you to approach messages with openness rather than rigid expectations. Trust that what comes through is exactly what's needed for your highest growth, even when it doesn't immediately make sense from our limited human perspective. Have you received a message that only made sense years later? I'd love to hear your story at podcast@mediumnicole.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello there, welcome back to Empower your Soul.
Last night on the MediumshipMastermind, we were talking all
about messages.
So I had a class about messagesand true to form spirit always
brings in in the middle of thesesessions what we're actually
supposed to talk about, notnecessarily what's on the agenda
, and this is how all of myclasses go.
(00:21):
Spirit challenges the shit outof me.
It challenges the shit out ofmy students.
I'm so of my students.
I'm so sorry students, but it'sa wild ride and it's always
magical and insightful.
So I wanted to take a moment totalk about kind of how that
went down in our mediumshipmastermind last night and
obviously invite you, if you'reinterested, in joining them,
your mediumship development,because it's freaking awesome.
(00:42):
I will make you think outsideof the box.
There's no question about it,not me, spirit, I just create
the space for that to happen.
So last night in the mastermind, true to form you know I am a
nerd I have my PowerPoint slidesbecause I think people are
visual and auditory learners, soI want to make sure there's a
visual component to my classes.
And there was the basicinformation about the flow.
(01:07):
Right, it was basic about.
Here's how messages come in.
This is how you know spiritmight be talking about a message
.
This is how you can make spiritmove to a message.
This is what the messages willconsist of and this is what it
looks like and feels like whenthe spirit's message is done.
And where we really went deepwere the messages and what they
(01:28):
consist of.
And it was such an interestingdiscussion because when we're
really talking about it, there'sthis, there's so many
directions I want to go, so bearwith me as I kind of get spirit
to get me down a path thathopefully makes a little bit of
logical sense.
But I think that sitters come inhaving expectations about what
(01:52):
they want to hear from a message.
And so you, as somebody who may, I'm going to say, go to a
medium to get a reading, I'mgoing to challenge you to think
about what messages would youwant to receive from your
departed loved ones.
If you had the one chance totalk to your departed
grandmother again, what wouldshe be most likely to tell you?
(02:14):
And it's just interestingbecause I think a lot of people
come to mediums for severalreasons, I guess.
But you should be coming to amedium if you're looking to
continue the communication.
As I mentioned before you'relooking for healing from grief
or missing them, or maybe youknow, needing to know that you
(02:36):
made the right decision,especially if, for example, you
had to like put a pet down orthings like that and or looking
for help and guidance and adviceand feedback on what's going on
in your life, like those arethe three main categories of
messages that I think mostmediumship falls under Ding
Validation for you there, and sowhere things can get off track
(03:01):
in a reading is if you areexpecting your departed loved
one to come in and say a certainthing, whether that's evidence,
whether that's part of themessage, if you only want
feedback or guidance on aspecific thing.
Right, I'm being called back toin my head the first amazing
(03:23):
medium that I'd ever been to.
I think I've told this storybefore, but I got a call from my
dear friend and she's like youneed to go see this medium.
She was a colleague of minetechnically and we were both
into mediumship and I was likethat sounds cool.
So I book with this lady.
I drive a couple hours to gosee her.
Pay, pay, cash, book theappointment on telephone, like
(03:45):
it's.
I mean it's as anti internetGoogle lookup as you could
possibly get.
And I remember sitting thereand she's like, why are you here
?
And I'm like I don't know, Ijust feel called to be here, I
don't know.
And so the messages she relayedin in that reading for me I'm
laughing about this because Ican feel spirit laughing and I
(04:06):
don't know where they're goingwith this.
But this is what it's like withmediumship.
I feel the comedy, before thecomedy comes through, the
messages were shit.
Can I say that she was the bestmedium I had ever been to and
the messages were shit?
Okay, when I say the messageswere shit, oh my God, they're
(04:28):
making me realize this right now.
The way this medium worked isshe called in a name and if you
didn't recognize the person,essentially she kicked them out.
Um, and so she had a whole lotof names of people that I didn't
know.
I'm like I don't know who thisperson is.
I don't know who this person is.
The few people that camethrough were my departed
(04:49):
mother-in-law, my aunt oh shit,I forgot the third one.
They're gonna get pissed at me.
I'm gonna say those were thetwo big hitters.
I'm sorry whoever else I forgot.
There was a couple that camethrough too, but those were the
two where the really, really bigmessages came from.
And I had just had my daughterat the time and my aunt came
(05:11):
through essentially to I washaving a crisis at work, I
didn't know if I should leave mycorporate job and go consulting
, and my daughter was just bornand I'm just like I don't know
what I should do and likeliterally the whole reading was
don't worry about it,everything's going to be fine.
And looking back at now, I'mchuckling about this reading
because at the time I wanteddirection.
I wanted spirit to tell me whatthe fuck I should do.
(05:33):
I wanted clear next steps andguidance, because I was that
asshole client right About whatmy path is going to look like,
where am I going to go?
Because in my brain I had pathA and I had path B and I just
wanted spirit to tell me shouldI take path A or should I take
path B?
What they gave me was a wholebunch of bullshit about it
(05:54):
doesn't matter.
And looking back now youlistening to me say this on a
podcast.
How fucking hilarious is thatmessage?
Right, like it didn't matterwhich path I took, because
spirit was fucking right.
It did not matter what path Itook, because I'm here doing
metaphysical work.
Not in that reading Did I thinkthat I was a medium, had no
idea.
So, spirit, the time I'm sure,showed up to this reading
(06:17):
laughing in their minds aboutwhat I wanted the message to be,
and they're just like, oh no,we're not going to tell you that
Because, yeah, in the grandscheme of things, the questions
I wanted the message to be andthey're just like, oh no, we're
not going to tell you thatBecause, yeah, in the grand
scheme of things, the questionsI wanted the answer to didn't
fucking matter at all.
And so I walked into thatsession being like give me path
A or give me path B, and theydidn't give me anything.
(06:37):
But what, oh God?
Don't make me cry.
It's been a while since I criedon this podcast.
Fuck you, spirit.
But what they did give me waswas proof of life after death.
Right, they.
She gave me undeniable evidenceof my departed mother in law
(07:00):
and my aunt.
Right, the message.
That was the message I needed.
That's not the message I askedfor, and I think that's like the
big difference.
This is me trying to move awayfrom the shit that's going to
make me cry, because what Iasked for wasn't what I needed.
It's what I wanted, but itwasn't what I needed, right, and
(07:23):
so we can move away from it.
Spirit says, by the way, thenames they gave me were all my
departed husbands, or, sorry,not my departed husband.
God, it's so funny.
I've said that twice today.
Shit, not a premonition, just afuck up.
Was my husband's departedfamily?
All of them, all the names Icouldn't take, were all his.
Was that a message for him thatthis is real too?
(07:46):
You bet your ass Like he wasshook when he listened to the
recording after he's like holyshit, that's my grandfather,
that's this person, that's thatperson.
His cousin that had departedcame through like four times
with his legal name, but Ididn't know him by his legal
name.
It was really funny.
Actually, I thoroughly loved it.
I just had to put it out there.
(08:07):
But the message of what I didreceive that day was that this
shit is real, right, and thatgot me hooked, and that got me
hooked to going to the nextmedium, to going to the next
medium and eventually thatmedium telling me that I am a
medium and going down thisrabbit hole.
So this is what I'm talkingabout, about we walk clients,
(08:27):
walk in with expectations aboutwhat they want to hear, what
they expect to hear from theirdeparted loved ones expectations
about what they want to hear,what they expect to hear from
their departed loved ones.
But spirit needs to give youwhat it needs to give you, not
what you want to hear.
And so this creates this reallyweird dichotomy for the mediums
who have clients walking in Ilove you all but with emotional
(08:49):
baggage and expectations aboutwhat they want their loved one
to say.
Because we, as mediums, feelthat energy, we feel the
desperation, we feel the need.
We know Don't think for asecond that we don't know what
you want to hear.
We know what you want to hear.
We actually know what you needto hear for you to heal and move
(09:11):
on, know what you need to hearfor you to heal and move on.
And I think that's the hardestpart about being a medium is
knowing and feeling what youneed and not seeing spirit
deliver.
That it's a mindfuck as amedium.
It is such a mindfuck and thiswas part of the conversation
(09:32):
last night is how do you know?
Because there was one of thewomen in the group was like I
know that my center needed tohear an apology, but spirit
didn't give it.
What am I supposed to do?
Should I give the apology?
And I'm just?
And I said no, you need.
Our job as mediums is to be thechannel of information.
(09:54):
We are not responsible for themessages, we are not responsible
for the tone.
We are only responsible forbeing the conduit for the
message spirit wants to give.
So even if we can feel more,whether it's psychic, whether
our client has explicitly saidit, whether it is us just
knowing, there's a huge, biggerpicture, bigger story to this.
(10:16):
We have to stay true to whatspirit wants us to say and how
they want us to say it, andsometimes that'll rip your heart
out.
Like that will rip your heartout.
I mean you will cry Me as themedium that's when I cry in
sessions, right?
I mean you will me as themedium that's when I cry in
sessions, right?
No-transcript, this isn't theplace.
(10:41):
They're not ready for thatmessage yet.
And or holding back on what youwant to hear for your own
personal development andperspective.
And so there has to be thisridiculous trust as mediums, and
this is why we need to behealed to do this work.
(11:02):
We need to come in, realizingand putting our ego aside and
our biases aside, to help ourclients the best way that we can
, because we cannot come in andtrying to be the superhero, the
people pleaser that wants tomake our clients happy.
We have to come in as thisclear vessel that delivers the
message exactly the way thespirit wants us to deliver the
(11:25):
message, no more, no less.
And so, which is hard, right,which is hard, because I think
us as mediums, take thispersonally and we think that I
must be missing something Ifthey're saying everything, but
I'm sorry, it's me, I missed it.
(11:47):
I guarantee you didn't miss it.
I'm guarantee you, the spiritdidn't want you to say I'm sorry
, and this was a really goodexample last night, because the
sitter wanted to hear I'm sorry,but instead the spirit went all
around it, all around, it tookresponsibility for the actions
(12:08):
and the relationship andeverything like that, but they
wouldn't say they're sorry.
And it was just funny.
I think hindsight's 2020 withall this stuff, it's always 2020
.
And I just love how, in themastermind, they'll ask me these
situations and even situationsI've already weighed in on, and
spirit will give me more insightand like a little bit of
(12:28):
information, as kind of likethis sneak peek, this little
chuckle about like the, the, the, everything, because, as spirit
in this example refused to sayI'm sorry.
I heard them laughing in myhead and I heard them say it's
because they chose this life.
They don't know it yet, butthat was a blessing, that wasn't
(12:53):
a curse, right, and like.
These are the things that soundso fucking insensitive to
sitters, which is why we can'tsay it, which is why the spirits
don't give it to us, because wesound like assholes, because
there's so much more out thereLike there's so much more out
there, like there's so manybigger storylines, there's so
many big soul contracts that wehave no fucking idea why things
(13:14):
happen and we won't know untilwe're in the spirit world to be
like, oh my god, that was theripple effect.
And I think there was a lovelyreading that I had the other day
with a client and wanting theclient, wanting their departed
loved one to fix a huge problemin their lives.
And what spirit showed me inthis very delicate way, because
I couldn't, I couldn't tell thatperson that this is part of
(13:36):
your soul contract, that youwere the strong one in the
family, that you, your soul,chose this.
I'm sorry if you're listeningto this and you know this is you
.
I'm'm sorry, this is what Icouldn't say in the session.
Fuck, fuck, I'm sorry, but likeI can't fix it for you because
this was part of our journey andit sucks and it's shitty and no
(13:56):
one should have to go throughthis 100%.
My human brain says, fuck this,I can't believe you would
choose this, I can't believeanyone would choose this.
And in our ego-centered brain,no, like we can't imagine.
But there's things beyond ourcomprehension about why this
stuff happens.
Why do we choose this?
Why does and and and?
The way spirit showed it in myhead was a beautiful spider web.
It's all connected and the bestthat we can do is pull on the
(14:22):
threads a little bit to ease upon the pain, to ease up on the
circumstances a little bit, butwe can't change the foundation
of the spider web, because if wetake out this one section of
the spider web, the rest of itfalls, and I don't know what
that means.
I don't know what what thatmeans, right?
I don't know the ripple effectof changing what it's like.
It's like those old shows, likegoing back in time to the
(14:42):
dinosaurs and stepping on acricket or whatever, and it
changes the whole future.
That's what it's, that'sessentially what they showed me
with the spider web.
It's like you can't take thatout because it ruins the whole
web.
It changes everything in thewhole web.
It changes everything in thespace time continuum, you know.
And so I thought what abeautiful, eloquent, eloquent
example.
And I think I think it's thesame thing when it comes to some
(15:07):
of this information.
I think providing theinformation to people changes
the spider web too much.
Some people are going to haveto learn the lesson the hard way
.
Some people are not, cannotcomprehend some of the stuff
that we, as mediums, see andcomprehend from the spirit world
on a daily basis, and it's,it's a whole lot of muck.
I'm so sorry, but it is.
And so you aren't deliveringthe messages wrong as a medium
(15:38):
If your client is upset about it.
As long as you have stayed trueto what you have seen,
perceived, received from thespirit world, you have done your
part to be the true conduitthat you are supposed to be in
this work.
And, as a sitter, I'm going tochallenge you If you didn't
(15:59):
receive the message you wanted.
There is a reason you receivedwhat you wanted.
There is a reason you receivedwhat you needed.
So I want you to.
Really, my daughter is so goodat slamming doors everybody she
should be.
Is there a job for professionaldoor slammers?
Sign her up.
Holy shit, this girl can slamdoors like nobody's business.
(16:20):
Fucking kids I love them, butfucking kids, so I'm gonna.
So I'm going to challenge you,as that sitter is, if you didn't
get the message you expected,why?
I want you to look at the, themessage you got, and it might
(16:40):
not make sense right now.
Maybe it makes sense, like mydaughter is nine now, nine years
later, about why you got whatyou got and why you didn't get
what you wanted, because Iguarantee you spirit does not
miss a beat.
They are all like, they are allknowing, all knowledgeable.
They know exactly what you need.
They're given those breadcrumbsto you.
(17:01):
There is a reason they gave youwhat they gave you.
Really look deep into it as towhy comes to you.
There is a reason they gave youwhat they gave you.
Really look deep into it as towhy.
So yeah, messages aren'tperfect.
They don't function the waythat they should.
Let me say it differently.
That's not the right way to saythis.
They don't function the waythat we want it to all the time.
(17:21):
But I promise you, as long asyou're true to the message and
accepting of the message spiritis giving, it's going to have
more nuggets of gold than youcan ever ever imagine.
If you have a story about aridiculous message you gave or
received, I would love to hearit.
If you're okay, sharing it onthe podcast, like hit me up at
(17:43):
podcast at medium Nicolecom.
How did this hit for you?
Did it resonate?
Um, did it slap?
As my 11 year old would say,did it slap?
Bet right?
Sorry for those of you thatdon't have the kids, oh god, the
slang is horrible nowadays whenhe makes fun of me.
My son makes fun of me for theold 90s slang.
I made him watch encino man.
Oh my god, it was the best.
(18:04):
It was like for those of youthat have that like tween age
kids and you grew up in the 90slike I did.
I was born in the 80s, by theway, I'm not, was not born in
the 90s, but we watched Encinoman with my son, with Pauly
Shore and his, all his PaulyShore, isms and I.
It was the best day of my life.
It surpassed me getting married, watching my son be like what
(18:30):
is he even saying?
And I was like this is how yousound to me.
Okay, I'm gonna leave it there.
I'm sure there's a parallel inthat message, right, Because the
message I'm gonna let you allsit with that.
I am not going to dissect that,but there is something in
watching Encino man and notbeing able to understand my
son's slang, and then having himwatch Encino man and not having
him understand my slang, likethis is what it's like.
(18:52):
I'm going to leave thatparallel with you to mull on
after this episode and if youwant to decipher it, hit me up
email.
Podcast at medium and Nicolecom.
All right, I love you all frommy soul to yours.
I hope you have the mostamazing message heartfelt.
Hello there, welcome back to Empower your Soul.
Last night on the MediumshipMastermind, we were talking all
about messages.
So I had a class about messagesand true to form spirit always
brings in in the middle of thesesessions what we're actually
supposed to talk about, notnecessarily what's on the agenda
, and this is how all of myclasses go.
(00:21):
Spirit challenges the shit outof me.
It challenges the shit out ofmy students.
I'm so of my students.
I'm so sorry students, but it'sa wild ride and it's always
magical and insightful.
So I wanted to take a moment totalk about kind of how that
went down in our mediumshipmastermind last night and
obviously invite you, if you'reinterested, in joining them,
your mediumship development,because it's freaking awesome.
(00:42):
I will make you think outsideof the box.
There's no question about it,not me, spirit, I just create
the space for that to happen.
So last night in the mastermind, true to form you know I am a
nerd I have my PowerPoint slidesbecause I think people are
visual and auditory learners, soI want to make sure there's a
visual component to my classes.
And there was the basicinformation about the flow.
(01:07):
Right, it was basic about.
Here's how messages come in.
This is how you know spiritmight be talking about a message
.
This is how you can make spiritmove to a message.
This is what the messages willconsist of and this is what it
looks like and feels like whenthe spirit's message is done.
And where we really went deepwere the messages and what they
(01:28):
consist of.
And it was such an interestingdiscussion because when we're
really talking about it, there'sthis, there's so many
directions I want to go, so bearwith me as I kind of get spirit
to get me down a path thathopefully makes a little bit of
logical sense.
But I think that sitters come inhaving expectations about what
(01:52):
they want to hear from a message.
And so you, as somebody who may, I'm going to say, go to a
medium to get a reading, I'mgoing to challenge you to think
about what messages would youwant to receive from your
departed loved ones.
If you had the one chance totalk to your departed
grandmother again, what wouldshe be most likely to tell you?
(02:14):
And it's just interestingbecause I think a lot of people
come to mediums for severalreasons, I guess.
But you should be coming to amedium if you're looking to
continue the communication.
As I mentioned before you'relooking for healing from grief
or missing them, or maybe youknow, needing to know that you
(02:36):
made the right decision,especially if, for example, you
had to like put a pet down orthings like that and or looking
for help and guidance and adviceand feedback on what's going on
in your life, like those arethe three main categories of
messages that I think mostmediumship falls under Ding
Validation for you there, and sowhere things can get off track
(03:01):
in a reading is if you areexpecting your departed loved
one to come in and say a certainthing, whether that's evidence,
whether that's part of themessage, if you only want
feedback or guidance on aspecific thing.
Right, I'm being called back toin my head the first amazing
(03:23):
medium that I'd ever been to.
I think I've told this storybefore, but I got a call from my
dear friend and she's like youneed to go see this medium.
She was a colleague of minetechnically and we were both
into mediumship and I was likethat sounds cool.
So I book with this lady.
I drive a couple hours to gosee her.
Pay, pay, cash, book theappointment on telephone, like
(03:45):
it's.
I mean it's as anti internetGoogle lookup as you could
possibly get.
And I remember sitting thereand she's like, why are you here
?
And I'm like I don't know, Ijust feel called to be here, I
don't know.
And so the messages she relayedin in that reading for me I'm
laughing about this because Ican feel spirit laughing and I
(04:06):
don't know where they're goingwith this.
But this is what it's like withmediumship.
I feel the comedy, before thecomedy comes through, the
messages were shit.
Can I say that she was the bestmedium I had ever been to and
the messages were shit?
Okay, when I say the messageswere shit, oh my God, they're
(04:28):
making me realize this right now.
The way this medium worked isshe called in a name and if you
didn't recognize the person,essentially she kicked them out.
Um, and so she had a whole lotof names of people that I didn't
know.
I'm like I don't know who thisperson is.
I don't know who this person is.
The few people that camethrough were my departed
(04:49):
mother-in-law, my aunt oh shit,I forgot the third one.
They're gonna get pissed at me.
I'm gonna say those were thetwo big hitters.
I'm sorry whoever else I forgot.
There was a couple that camethrough too, but those were the
two where the really, really bigmessages came from.
And I had just had my daughterat the time and my aunt came
(05:11):
through essentially to I washaving a crisis at work, I
didn't know if I should leave mycorporate job and go consulting
, and my daughter was just bornand I'm just like I don't know
what I should do and likeliterally the whole reading was
don't worry about it,everything's going to be fine.
And looking back at now, I'mchuckling about this reading
because at the time I wanteddirection.
I wanted spirit to tell me whatthe fuck I should do.
(05:33):
I wanted clear next steps andguidance, because I was that
asshole client right About whatmy path is going to look like,
where am I going to go?
Because in my brain I had pathA and I had path B and I just
wanted spirit to tell me shouldI take path A or should I take
path B?
What they gave me was a wholebunch of bullshit about it
(05:54):
doesn't matter.
And looking back now youlistening to me say this on a
podcast.
How fucking hilarious is thatmessage?
Right, like it didn't matterwhich path I took, because
spirit was fucking right.
It did not matter what path Itook, because I'm here doing
metaphysical work.
Not in that reading Did I thinkthat I was a medium, had no
idea.
So, spirit, the time I'm sure,showed up to this reading
(06:17):
laughing in their minds aboutwhat I wanted the message to be,
and they're just like, oh no,we're not going to tell you that
Because, yeah, in the grandscheme of things, the questions
I wanted the message to be andthey're just like, oh no, we're
not going to tell you thatBecause, yeah, in the grand
scheme of things, the questionsI wanted the answer to didn't
fucking matter at all.
And so I walked into thatsession being like give me path
A or give me path B, and theydidn't give me anything.
(06:37):
But what, oh God?
Don't make me cry.
It's been a while since I criedon this podcast.
Fuck you, spirit.
But what they did give me waswas proof of life after death.
Right, they.
She gave me undeniable evidenceof my departed mother in law
(07:00):
and my aunt.
Right, the message.
That was the message I needed.
That's not the message I askedfor, and I think that's like the
big difference.
This is me trying to move awayfrom the shit that's going to
make me cry, because what Iasked for wasn't what I needed.
It's what I wanted, but itwasn't what I needed, right, and
(07:23):
so we can move away from it.
Spirit says, by the way, thenames they gave me were all my
departed husbands, or, sorry,not my departed husband.
God, it's so funny.
I've said that twice today.
Shit, not a premonition, just afuck up.
Was my husband's departedfamily?
All of them, all the names Icouldn't take, were all his.
Was that a message for him thatthis is real too?
(07:46):
You bet your ass Like he wasshook when he listened to the
recording after he's like holyshit, that's my grandfather,
that's this person, that's thatperson.
His cousin that had departedcame through like four times
with his legal name, but Ididn't know him by his legal
name.
It was really funny.
Actually, I thoroughly loved it.
I just had to put it out there.
(08:07):
But the message of what I didreceive that day was that this
shit is real, right, and thatgot me hooked, and that got me
hooked to going to the nextmedium, to going to the next
medium and eventually thatmedium telling me that I am a
medium and going down thisrabbit hole.
So this is what I'm talkingabout, about we walk clients,
(08:27):
walk in with expectations aboutwhat they want to hear, what
they expect to hear from theirdeparted loved ones expectations
about what they want to hear,what they expect to hear from
their departed loved ones.
But spirit needs to give youwhat it needs to give you, not
what you want to hear.
And so this creates this reallyweird dichotomy for the mediums
who have clients walking in Ilove you all but with emotional
(08:49):
baggage and expectations aboutwhat they want their loved one
to say.
Because we, as mediums, feelthat energy, we feel the
desperation, we feel the need.
We know Don't think for asecond that we don't know what
you want to hear.
We know what you want to hear.
We actually know what you needto hear for you to heal and move
(09:11):
on, know what you need to hearfor you to heal and move on.
And I think that's the hardestpart about being a medium is
knowing and feeling what youneed and not seeing spirit
deliver.
That it's a mindfuck as amedium.
It is such a mindfuck and thiswas part of the conversation
(09:32):
last night is how do you know?
Because there was one of thewomen in the group was like I
know that my center needed tohear an apology, but spirit
didn't give it.
What am I supposed to do?
Should I give the apology?
And I'm just?
And I said no, you need.
Our job as mediums is to be thechannel of information.
(09:54):
We are not responsible for themessages, we are not responsible
for the tone.
We are only responsible forbeing the conduit for the
message spirit wants to give.
So even if we can feel more,whether it's psychic, whether
our client has explicitly saidit, whether it is us just
knowing, there's a huge, biggerpicture, bigger story to this.
(10:16):
We have to stay true to whatspirit wants us to say and how
they want us to say it, andsometimes that'll rip your heart
out.
Like that will rip your heartout.
I mean you will cry Me as themedium that's when I cry in
sessions, right?
I mean you will me as themedium that's when I cry in
sessions, right?
No-transcript, this isn't theplace.
(10:41):
They're not ready for thatmessage yet.
And or holding back on what youwant to hear for your own
personal development andperspective.
And so there has to be thisridiculous trust as mediums, and
this is why we need to behealed to do this work.
(11:02):
We need to come in, realizingand putting our ego aside and
our biases aside, to help ourclients the best way that we can
, because we cannot come in andtrying to be the superhero, the
people pleaser that wants tomake our clients happy.
We have to come in as thisclear vessel that delivers the
message exactly the way thespirit wants us to deliver the
(11:25):
message, no more, no less.
And so, which is hard, right,which is hard, because I think
us as mediums, take thispersonally and we think that I
must be missing something Ifthey're saying everything, but
I'm sorry, it's me, I missed it.
(11:47):
I guarantee you didn't miss it.
I'm guarantee you, the spiritdidn't want you to say I'm sorry
, and this was a really goodexample last night, because the
sitter wanted to hear I'm sorry,but instead the spirit went all
around it, all around, it tookresponsibility for the actions
(12:08):
and the relationship andeverything like that, but they
wouldn't say they're sorry.
And it was just funny.
I think hindsight's 2020 withall this stuff, it's always 2020
.
And I just love how, in themastermind, they'll ask me these
situations and even situationsI've already weighed in on, and
spirit will give me more insightand like a little bit of
(12:28):
information, as kind of likethis sneak peek, this little
chuckle about like the, the, the, everything, because, as spirit
in this example refused to sayI'm sorry.
I heard them laughing in myhead and I heard them say it's
because they chose this life.
They don't know it yet, butthat was a blessing, that wasn't
(12:53):
a curse, right, and like.
These are the things that soundso fucking insensitive to
sitters, which is why we can'tsay it, which is why the spirits
don't give it to us, because wesound like assholes, because
there's so much more out thereLike there's so much more out
there, like there's so manybigger storylines, there's so
many big soul contracts that wehave no fucking idea why things
(13:14):
happen and we won't know untilwe're in the spirit world to be
like, oh my god, that was theripple effect.
And I think there was a lovelyreading that I had the other day
with a client and wanting theclient, wanting their departed
loved one to fix a huge problemin their lives.
And what spirit showed me inthis very delicate way, because
I couldn't, I couldn't tell thatperson that this is part of
(13:36):
your soul contract, that youwere the strong one in the
family, that you, your soul,chose this.
I'm sorry if you're listeningto this and you know this is you
.
I'm'm sorry, this is what Icouldn't say in the session.
Fuck, fuck, I'm sorry, but likeI can't fix it for you because
this was part of our journey andit sucks and it's shitty and no
(13:56):
one should have to go throughthis 100%.
My human brain says, fuck this,I can't believe you would
choose this, I can't believeanyone would choose this.
And in our ego-centered brain,no, like we can't imagine.
But there's things beyond ourcomprehension about why this
stuff happens.
Why do we choose this?
Why does and and and?
The way spirit showed it in myhead was a beautiful spider web.
It's all connected and the bestthat we can do is pull on the
(14:22):
threads a little bit to ease upon the pain, to ease up on the
circumstances a little bit, butwe can't change the foundation
of the spider web, because if wetake out this one section of
the spider web, the rest of itfalls, and I don't know what
that means.
I don't know what what thatmeans, right?
I don't know the ripple effectof changing what it's like.
It's like those old shows, likegoing back in time to the
(14:42):
dinosaurs and stepping on acricket or whatever, and it
changes the whole future.
That's what it's, that'sessentially what they showed me
with the spider web.
It's like you can't take thatout because it ruins the whole
web.
It changes everything in thewhole web.
It changes everything in thespace time continuum, you know.
And so I thought what abeautiful, eloquent, eloquent
example.
And I think I think it's thesame thing when it comes to some
(15:07):
of this information.
I think providing theinformation to people changes
the spider web too much.
Some people are going to haveto learn the lesson the hard way
.
Some people are not, cannotcomprehend some of the stuff
that we, as mediums, see andcomprehend from the spirit world
on a daily basis, and it's,it's a whole lot of muck.
I'm so sorry, but it is.
And so you aren't deliveringthe messages wrong as a medium
(15:38):
If your client is upset about it.
As long as you have stayed trueto what you have seen,
perceived, received from thespirit world, you have done your
part to be the true conduitthat you are supposed to be in
this work.
And, as a sitter, I'm going tochallenge you If you didn't
(15:59):
receive the message you wanted.
There is a reason you receivedwhat you wanted.
There is a reason you receivedwhat you needed.
So I want you to.
Really, my daughter is so goodat slamming doors everybody she
should be.
Is there a job for professionaldoor slammers?
Sign her up.
Holy shit, this girl can slamdoors like nobody's business.
(16:20):
Fucking kids I love them, butfucking kids, so I'm gonna.
So I'm going to challenge you,as that sitter is, if you didn't
get the message you expected,why?
I want you to look at the, themessage you got, and it might
(16:40):
not make sense right now.
Maybe it makes sense, like mydaughter is nine now, nine years
later, about why you got whatyou got and why you didn't get
what you wanted, because Iguarantee you spirit does not
miss a beat.
They are all like, they are allknowing, all knowledgeable.
They know exactly what you need.
They're given those breadcrumbsto you.
(17:01):
There is a reason they gave youwhat they gave you.
Really look deep into it as towhy comes to you.
There is a reason they gave youwhat they gave you.
Really look deep into it as towhy.
So yeah, messages aren'tperfect.
They don't function the waythat they should.
Let me say it differently.
That's not the right way to saythis.
They don't function the waythat we want it to all the time.
(17:21):
But I promise you, as long asyou're true to the message and
accepting of the message spiritis giving, it's going to have
more nuggets of gold than youcan ever ever imagine.
If you have a story about aridiculous message you gave or
received, I would love to hearit.
If you're okay, sharing it onthe podcast, like hit me up at
(17:43):
podcast at medium Nicolecom.
How did this hit for you?
Did it resonate?
Um, did it slap?
As my 11 year old would say,did it slap?
Bet right?
Sorry for those of you thatdon't have the kids, oh god, the
slang is horrible nowadays whenhe makes fun of me.
My son makes fun of me for theold 90s slang.
I made him watch encino man.
Oh my god, it was the best.
(18:04):
It was like for those of youthat have that like tween age
kids and you grew up in the 90slike I did.
I was born in the 80s, by theway, I'm not, was not born in
the 90s, but we watched Encinoman with my son, with Pauly
Shore and his, all his PaulyShore, isms and I.
It was the best day of my life.
It surpassed me getting married, watching my son be like what
(18:30):
is he even saying?
And I was like this is how yousound to me.
Okay, I'm gonna leave it there.
I'm sure there's a parallel inthat message, right, Because the
message I'm gonna let you allsit with that.
I am not going to dissect that,but there is something in
watching Encino man and notbeing able to understand my
son's slang, and then having himwatch Encino man and not having
him understand my slang, likethis is what it's like.
(18:52):
I'm going to leave thatparallel with you to mull on
after this episode and if youwant to decipher it, hit me up
email.
Podcast at medium and Nicolecom.
All right, I love you all frommy soul to yours.
I hope you have the mostamazing message heartfelt.
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