March 3, 2025 • 34 mins
Hi!! I would love to hear from you!
Dive into a world of empowerment, sensuality, and body confidence as we chat with Marta Kagan, a transformative coach dedicated to helping women over 40 reconnect with their true selves. With her wealth of knowledge and experience, Marta reveals deep insights into overcoming societal norms that keep women from embracing their own pleasure and confidence. The episode emphasizes that aging should not signify a decline in vitality or sensuality—instead, it's a unique time to rediscover and reclaim personal joy.
We discuss the ways in which societal conditioning can instill feelings of shame surrounding pleasure and the importance of dismantling these beliefs. Marta shares powerful stories from women who have transformed their self-image and discovered a deeper sense of intimacy with their bodies. The magic of community plays a vital role in this journey, as Marta explains how the Sensual Sisterhood fosters support and connection among women navigating similar challenges.
Whether you're curious about finding your sensual power or seeking a community of empowered women, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable steps for every listener. Embrace the fact that pleasure is indeed your birthright, and join us as we celebrate the vibrant and beautiful journey of growth in our lives. Ready to take the plunge? Tune in, and together, let’s embark on the journey towards a more fulfilling and pleasurable life! Subscribe, review, and share your thoughts with us!
Marta Kagan is a Body Confidence & Sensuality Coach who helps women over 40 reconnect with their sensuality, confidence, and pleasure—because your body deserves love, not criticism. Through her signature Pleasure Playground, her FUCK YES group embodiment program, and products like The Ultimate Turn-On Toolkit, she guides women to shed shame, embrace desire, and reclaim their radiance. She also shares her wisdom (and plenty of spicy truth bombs) on her YouTube channel and The Pleasure Playground podcast. Known for her bold, no-BS approach and deep devotion to pleasure as a lifestyle, Marta is here to remind you that confidence isn’t about changing your body—it’s about loving the one you have.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello and welcome to Empowered Ease.
My guest today is Marta Kagan.
She is a body confidence andsensuality coach working with
women 50 and over to reconnectwith their sensuality,
confidence and pleasure.
Welcome, marta.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Thank you, sean, so good to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I'm so happy you're here with us.
How are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, I'm feeling in my body, in my pleasure and in
gratitude to be here with you.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Oh, all beautiful things.
I love that so much.
Okay, so I am going to have amillion questions, I'm sure, but
tell me just a little bit aboutwhat being a body confidence
and sensuality coach is.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
It's really about helping women particularly.
I'm working with women over 40for the most part, but it's
helping women feel sensualconfidence, alive, right,
radiant, um, helping them tolove their bodies instead of
criticize their bodies, which iswhat we are conditioned to do
(01:11):
from a very, very early age.
So, yeah, it's, it's takingyour power back through your
sensuality.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Ultimately, I love that Beautiful.
So um tell me a little bit howyou got into this.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, well, I started coaching just life coaching,
right.
Generic life coaching, quoteunquote um in 2001.
So like when coaching was stillbrand new study with Thomas
Jane Leonard, who was the fatherof coaching when he was still
alive, and um, yeah, at the timeI think I was always a seeker,
(01:47):
you know, someone who was alwaysinterested in how the human
mind works and how the humanbody works and how can we make
ourselves better and how can welive life as fully as possible.
Right, and that was in mytwenties still, and so I did
that for a while.
And then I did a whole bunch ofother things professionally in
marketing, with working withtech startups and doing all this
stuff that has nothing to dowith being a body confidence and
(02:10):
sensuality coach other thanliving in a human body and
dealing with burnout and dealingwith stress and dealing with
all the pressures that you knowall humans have to deal with but
that are maybe a little bitunique to being in a female body
.
Um, and then, when I hit myforties, uh, unlike a lot of
(02:32):
women, I didn't have the likemidlife crisis panic.
I thought 40 is going to beamazing, 40 is going to be my
new 30, felt really good.
And then, um, I'm making this ashorter story than it could
actually be, but bear with me.
I woke up one morning and feltlike wait a second, is this it?
(02:52):
Like, is this it, you know?
Like now I'm just going to getolder and become irrelevant and
like I've missed.
I've missed the window and nowI should just go knit and become
a grandmother, which is kind ofwhat the message was, right,
like that dulling down feelingthat society tells you it's time
to do yes, like I hit myexpiration date right and yeah
(03:13):
relevant, and that came a littlebit late for me.
I also, at the time, decided tostop drinking alcohol, to like
hit the reset button in a bigway in my life, um, and that led
to me recognizing how detachedI'd become from my own body,
from my own sensuality.
Had been married for a coupleof decades At that point, I'd
(03:34):
raised two kids.
Um, I just kind of forgot aboutme, like the sensual, alive,
radiant version of myself that,in her twenties, was like oh,
we're going to live this amazinglife, we're going to coach
people, we're going to.
You know, I had all thesedreams.
Yeah, it was in my forties,still selling that but feeling
(03:54):
like I'm not living it you knowUm.
And so I started seeking again,and I actually stumbled on a
book called pussy a reclamation.
I just bought it, I haven'tread it yet.
And I actually stumbled on abook called Pussy a reclamation.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I just bought it.
I haven't read it yet, but Ijust bought that book.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It is a must read, I give it to everyone, I recommend
it to everyone.
And that was like the beginningof the awakening of like, oh
yeah, there's this part of me,this, you know where all of my
life force, energy, lives, thispart of my body that is
literally birthed real humans.
And yeah, you're a badass, yeah, and that kind of started my,
(04:37):
my recognition of how essentialpleasure is, how it's really the
antidote to most of what modernlife hands us, that sort of
takes us out of aliveness, andand also recognizing how much
we're taught to believe thatpleasure is like frivolous, it's
something you only get to haveafter you've suffered
(04:59):
sufficiently.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And that's very specific to females, I think,
like in a lot of ways too.
Yes, yeah, so that was thebeginning of females.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I think in a lot of ways too.
Yes, yeah, so that was thebeginning of me really looking
for okay.
So what does that mean?
Great, like I'm buying intothis and Mama Gina's telling me,
like pussy is the path.
So I basically doubled down oninvesting on myself, doing
exactly what most women don't do, which is invest in themselves.
(05:26):
Right, we're always investingin our children, our partners,
our girlfriends, our sisters orwhoever Whoever's in need around
us that we love.
Yeah, but I decided to makethat investment in myself, in my
pleasure, in basically fuelingthe next chapter of my life.
That led to me ending my 24year marriage.
(05:46):
That led to me, you know,shifting my focus from mental
and emotional fitness, which iskind of where I was focusing as
a coach, to really bringbringing pleasure into it, to
getting certified as a pleasurecoach from Mama Gina School of
Womenly Arts, and this the focusof the services that I provide
(06:07):
and the change I want to make inthe world.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Oh my gosh, how beautiful.
Okay, so, before we get intokind of the details of that,
because I have many questions myfirst question is a personal
one for me, because, as someonewho's like stepping into an
entrepreneur role, and steppinginto that it's a process of
letting yourself be seen indifferent ways and then
addressing whatever comes up inthat.
If you're not an entrepreneur,that's what happens, but it's
(06:33):
super hard.
But being stepping up in thisway, in this light, being like a
pleasure coach, a sensualitycoach, like I just tell me about
what that process was like foryou, because internally I'm like
, fuck yeah, but I'm like, well,that would be so hard to go out
there and like speak that.
So tell me your tricks.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah, no, you're so right, because society tells us
as women that we shouldn't enjoypleasure, that we should, you
know like, we should be goodgirls, right, and we should be
virgins until we're married orwhatever, depending on kind of
what your religious and socialupbringing, cultural upbringing,
is.
But the core message to allwomen, I think, regardless of
(07:13):
culture, is you shouldn't be thecenter of attention, you
shouldn't play big, you shouldbe humble and small, you
shouldn't like sex, youshouldn't talk about sex, you
shouldn't, you know, be sexyexcept in very specific
situations where it's okay.
So, yeah, there are a ton ofmessages and for me personally I
(07:37):
struggled with, like, how tointroduce that shift.
Is my focus right, going frommental and emotional fitness
which is free of shame?
There's no shame associatedwith that.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah, yeah, that's the word I think I'm looking for
.
There's shame when you bringthis up.
Yeah, shame's the hardest, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
And it's been a process.
It's been a process of feelinginto that of walking my talk.
Feeling into that of walking mytalk, feeling like feeling the
shame that society has given meand releasing it because it's
not mine Right.
None of us was born ashamed ofour bodies, of our body parts,
of how they look, of how wetouch them or don't touch them.
(08:20):
Like that is all learned.
So it's sort of an unlearningand a remembering the core truth
that you know once upon a time,sensuality and sexuality was
seen as a divine gift, like agift from the gods.
It is a beautiful, sacred thingand over millennia we have
corrupted that in many ways, formany reasons, which maybe is
(08:41):
beyond the scope of this podcast.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
You can talk about the patriarchy if you want.
I love it.
Oh, we're gonna.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Rarely do I have a conversation that doesn't touch
on that.
Me too.
Yeah, it's, the struggle isreal and it's it's become more
comfortable the longer I've beentalking about it and putting
myself out there.
And this is probably thebiggest pro tip I'll give you is
surround yourself with as manywomen as you can who are also in
(09:13):
this work, in this space,talking this talk, who use the
word pussy liberally and aren'tall ashamed about it, who will
express their sensuality in waysthat you know are real and true
and genuine.
When you start to spend timearound that kind of sisterhood,
it becomes, you know, wenormalize.
We normalize what should benormal anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Oh my gosh, I love that you've said that this comes
up every single one of theepisodes I've had so far.
I think I've recorded likeeight of them now.
But women healing communityit's so important.
We need a community around usof like-minded people who hold
us up.
It's how I get through everyday and I love that you said
that, because it literally comesup every episode, no matter who
I'm talking to.
It's so powerful to surroundyourself by with women who
(09:57):
believe in you, who get whatyou're working on and who are
encouraging you to step intothat discomfort I love that so
much who are encouraging you tostep into that discomfort, I
love that so much, and the onlyreason why we don't do that
already and automatically ispatriarchy.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Should we come back to it, right, patriarchy.
Looked at, you know, thefeminine as weak, as subservient
, as not as important, andlooked at how we gathered.
Naturally, women used to gatherall the time in community,
right, like that's what we did,we gathered in circles, and then
(10:31):
they burned us for it.
So the the you know part of thepatriarchy that has separated
us and created that sister woundwhere we look at other women as
the competition right for themale partner competition for
this thing or that thing is iswhy we're not doing that.
but it is so natural, actually,and and so essential and so
beautiful and powerful andbeneficial and healing and all
(10:52):
the all the things.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yes, our culture really reinforces which is so
sad because I feel, I believeit's the root of a lot of
women's struggles is that ourvalue is in what we provide to
others, which is beautiful thatwe are a lot of us are
caregivers and provide to others, but that is not our value.
Agreed, it's beautiful, it'svery powerful, but that's not
(11:17):
our purpose here and I think ourculture tricks us into thinking
that's our purpose.
Sometimes it can be confusing.
So what is?
I want to know, what is thesome of the number one
complaints that when women cometo you, that they're that
they're worried about orstruggling with.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yeah, I mean, for the most part, it's the universal
loss of feeling sensual at all,and that happens over time.
It happens between, like, thedemands of life, whether you're
a mother or not, taking care ofothers children, parents,
spouses, co-workers, whoever itcomes through the conditioning,
(11:57):
right Patriarchal conditioning,which is you should be a good
girl and she keep your legscrossed, you should dress a
certain way, only say certainthings, and you know so.
It's a combination of all thesefactors that just keep us more
and more and more and moredisconnected from how we really
feel, from our true emotions,right.
That tell you that you're tooemotional.
(12:19):
You should keep it, keep ittogether, right?
You shouldn't feel the way thatyou feel for it.
No one wants to talk aboutperiods or the fact that women
are actually on a monthly cycle.
Hello, like for decades.
This is what happens, andsomehow we're supposed to just
pretend that's not happening.
It's really just a rejection ofthe feminine altogether.
And the number one complaint isI feel numb, I feel
(12:46):
disconnected, I don't rememberwhat it's like to be sensual, I
hate my body, I don't like thisthing, I don't like that thing.
So it's a lot of internalizedpatriarchy, a lot of
internalized misogyny um attackourselves.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh, I get it.
I feel some of that sometimes,so I love that you said that and
gave that a voice.
I get it.
I feel some of that sometimes,so I love that you said that and
gave that a voice.
So, when you're working withwomen, what kind of?
What kind of?
So?
I got on your website.
I saw you have a lot ofservices, but what is the
foundation of those serviceswhen you start working with
women to reclaim this power?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah, so there's a.
There's a couple of paths.
So of course there's theone-on-one coaching path where
we're really working togetherfor three, six, 12 months on
reclaiming your power, yoursensuality.
There's a lot that goes intothat.
The more common path is peoplewill come in through the central
sisterhood, which is a freecommunity that I've started on
school.
It's got about 250 ish membersthere now and uh, inside their
(13:45):
school.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
By the way, school's awesome.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah, community, right, that's a big piece of it.
There's community, so there'sit's a group of over 250 women
over 40 who are specific thereto reclaim their sensuality,
their confidence, to feel morepleasure in life.
So there you'll find umdifferent tools and practices
and rituals that you canpractice on your own.
We also have live sessionswhere we're teaching or coaching
(14:10):
, you know in the moment, but itstarts with a couple things
Unlearning some of the limitingbeliefs and some of the
patriarchal conditioning thatwe've already touched on, and a
lot more because we're justscratching the surface.
Learning how to access pleasurein your body, like it's very
(14:35):
practical and um really requiresyou to do the thing.
It's not a mental, this is nota discussion, it's not an
exercise.
It's like I want you to feelyour feelings and I'm going to
show you, and I want you to feelyour body and I'm to show you
how, like the crux of it.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I love that.
That's what.
So I coach women throughburnout and for I would say,
maybe half the women thatfeeling their body, that
connection is completely lostand for some of them, like half
of them, we start there wherethey're just like.
Learning to like sit and takeup space is difficult, so I
(15:10):
can't imagine addressing some ofthese more deeper, like what we
consider shameful things andhow empowering that must be when
you finally claim it yeah andthe what.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
What's interesting about it is, you know, unlike
therapy like if you, if you,worked with a therapist on shame
or guilt or sensuality, I thinkthere's a lot of shadow work
and a lot of, yeah, getting intolike trauma and wounding that
created, right, the shame in thefirst place, whereas pleasure
(15:43):
coaching really comes at it from.
I just need your body to feelpleasure.
I just need to.
My job is to help you findwithin yourself those access
points that let you rememberwhat your body knows how to do,
independent of what happens uphere, because this is what we
spend most of our lives, up here, right in our heads, thinking
(16:04):
and analyzing and tellingstories about things.
And I'm trying to actually makethat stop and for you to tune
into what's happening in thismeat suit and specifically
through pleasure, because you'regoing to lean into that versus
like a lot of things that makeyou draw away.
So it happens really naturallywith just a little bit of, you
(16:26):
know, coaching to get you thereand the transformation is so
instance, because that thatsensual, that sexual energy that
lives in your body isunbelievably powerful, Like it
literally creates life.
So of course it can change yourmood, of course it can reset
your mindset.
Of course it can make you feelpowerful again really quickly.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
That's beautiful.
I love that.
So I'm hearing there's a lot ofphysical practice to this.
I love that, awesome.
So are there any common mythsabout this that you end up
dispelling with women, oranything misconceptions that
women come to you with thatyou're commonly so many.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Starting with number one is probably that there's
something wrong with you,there's something that needs to
be fixed Like that's the firstone I try to undo or unprogram
because it's so, it's soingrained.
Again, it starts so early, right, like you need to fix this
about your body, you'll bebetter when.
No, that's the first one.
(17:30):
And then there's a lot of shame, as we've already touched on,
because, again, the culture saysyou can only dress a certain
way, you can't behave, you can'tsay certain things.
You know, there's so many rulesthat have been constructed
around what's okay for a woman.
Some of those away.
And the beautiful thing, jen,is that when you're doing this
(17:52):
in sisterhood, one-on-one alsohas power.
But when you're there with agroup of women who are feeling
the same things and strugglingwith the same things and
watching each other andcelebrating each other as they
come alive, like, literally,that's what's happening.
Oh, it's like angels singing.
It's really, really, reallypotent and powerful and the
changes happen so fast.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh, that sounds amazing.
So why women over 40?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Because I'm 53.
That just feels like relevantto what I'm going through and
where I have the most livedexperience right now.
The truth is, these things arevaluable and apply to women of
all ages, and my hope is thatover time, um, my universe will
(18:43):
include women and girls, forthat matter, right Of all ages
but for now, that's just kind ofwhere I'm starting, cause
that's that's where I'm at,that's where I was at recently
and that's where I'm still at.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
So I hear you.
I hear you.
I think there's somethingpowerful about this age, though.
It's like the age where weshift from, like, trying to
prove who we are, to valuing ourpiece a little more, and
there's just so much power aswomen settle into that that I
feel like these are the womenwho might be wanted a little
more than maybe.
That's not true, because theseyounger generations are doing a
(19:15):
lot more than I expected, buttotally and the circumstances
change, you know, in thischapter of life.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
You know my kids are grown now so they're out of the
house, so I'm not dealing withlike parenting daily.
You know the the changes thatcome with perimenopause and
menopause introduce a new set ofchallenges and also a new set
of freedoms right, there'snothing about birth control.
There's less concern about likewhen can we have sex, because
(19:43):
the kids are around or there'ssome need, right?
So like everything starts toshift and at the same time,
society is telling us you're nolonger relevant, you can no
longer produce new humans, so wedon't really care about you
anymore.
We're going to sell youanti-aging things and things
that will make us money that youknow, that continue to feed
(20:04):
this idea that there's somethingwrong with you that needs to be
fixed, that you've expired.
But the truth is this is whenwe get our superpowers because
we're liberated from some ofthose things, because we give
fewer fucks, because we havefewer people to take care of,
potentially because our we'renot necessarily cycling the same
way every month and quite as asI hesitate to use the word
(20:29):
triggered, but has activated byhormonal fluctuations.
So so, yeah, I think your pointis spot on that this is a
special time in a woman's life.
And we're only one of threespecies where females actually
live beyond their reproductiveyears right.
There's like there's a purpose,we serve a purpose and we're
(20:51):
just starting to figure that out, and I want to empower more
women to jump on in, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I love, love, love that you know that too, cause
that's one of my favorite thingsbecause it's they're all
species with, like,overdeveloped frontal lobes, so
it's all the connection species.
So it's so beautiful.
So it's so beautiful and it hasa lot of value.
(21:18):
We have evolved that we putwomen offline and they have so
much value that we have keptthem around for longer after
they're offline, creating babies.
That's so beautiful, sopowerful.
So, um, when women come to you,is there any initial fears that
you're you have that you face alot with women that they need
to overcome to be able to stepinto this, because I just see a
(21:40):
lot of I don't know I'm I'mmaking it up in my head maybe,
but I'm envisioning a lot ofhold up in some of these ladies
no, you're right.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I mean, it runs the gamut, right, there's.
There's women who have grown upin, um, you have a religious or
family background that was veryconservative and makes you know
, even like the word pussy willnever come out of their mouth,
like, yeah, there's a lot ofdiscomfort and there's a lot of
getting comfortable with.
They may not have even everlooked at that part of their
(22:10):
body, for example.
Right, right, so we're reallystarting in new territory.
And then there's women who youknow, have had varying degrees
of liberation around theirsensuality, but we, myself
included we still live in apatriarchal world culture.
There's no way around it.
So y'all have that internalized.
You know, conditioning nomatter what.
So it really runs the gamut.
(22:33):
But what I think is amazing ishow quickly we can, like, fall
into the knowing that this isnormal, that this is true, that
this is sacred, that this isbeautiful and powerful and that,
you know, there's there's allof the shame and guilt and taboo
associated with it is aconstruct that was put on it,
(22:55):
that it's not real.
So, like that falls away prettyquickly in these containers.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
So if women at home are listening to you and like,
yes, I need this, where wouldyou suggest that they start, or
how would you get started, orhow would you?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
get started.
I would invite them to comejoin the central sisterhood,
which is the free community,where you can sort of get a
taste of some pleasure tools andpractices, where you can start
to feel the sisterhood supportof the community right?
People sharing what theirexperiences are, sharing what
problems they're having andlooking for solutions, or
sharing pleasure rituals, thingslike that.
(23:31):
And then once they get theirtoes wet and they're having and
looking for solutions, orsharing pleasure rituals, things
like that.
And then once they get theirtoes wet and they're like, okay,
I want more, I really want towork on this, then you can
become a member of the pleasureplayground, which is the paid
community.
I kind of think of it as likethe pleasure gym, so much more
fun than a gym, and that's wherewe get into some of the more
(23:53):
hands-on practices.
Pun intended, oh, I love that,yeah, beautiful, okay.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
So I'm going to have to cut this part out because I
just had a brain fart.
Sorry, I love when.
When that happens.
I want to get more into yourstory here a little bit.
I'm trying to think how to um,how to really get into it.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
um, there's so much here to say yeah, and my story
is like I'm such a mutt you knowwhat I mean Like I've, I've
been all over the road in myjourney and the only thing
that's really stayed consistentis a desire to be true to myself
(24:44):
, a desire to keep, you know,improving in some way, learning
something, growing, evolving, um, so I don't know, I, I it's
funny because I strugglesometimes with keeping my story
concise because, like whichchapter are we talking about?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
right, I know, lifetime is so long right.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
There was the like starting my career and and
defying expectations chapter.
There was the what the fuck isMedia?
Chapter, which is like a wholedifferent version.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Right, oh, my God, I know I'm in that chapter, Like,
do I really need to learn this?
I guess I do.
Okay, let's talk about thewomen that you're helping, then.
What are some of thetransformations you see and some
of the powerful things you seethese women embodying or
embracing, or the changes, yourshifts you're seeing in these
women that you're working with?
I think the most like.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
The most beautiful potent change is women going
from not feeling comfortablelooking at themselves in the
mirror, what they see or youknow, kind of like even in their
body language, you see thislike discomfort to seeing a
woman who can look at herself inthe mirror with soft, loving
eyes, who can trust her ownintuition again, her own
(26:01):
instincts, like listen to herbody instead of the stories that
have been implanted, really, byother people in her head.
Right, the voices that arecritical that are actually they
sound like your voice.
Right, the voices that arecritical that are actually they
sound like your voice, butthey're not.
You know, they're like mom,society, this guy, that guy.
(26:24):
So just seeing them likeliterally like blossom, like a
flower.
Right, just like open up frombeing like tight and tense and
closed off and stressed.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
And settling into themselves a little bit.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yes, and it's so much a shift in not like what did
you achieve, or what goals, orlike what happened on the
outside.
It's so much of an internalshift where you go from
struggling and tolerating toenjoying and receiving right,
(26:54):
which is actually like the morenatural state for females to be
in receptive mode instead oflike constantly caregiving,
which is what we've becomeconditioned to do forever.
But on a practical level, I'veseen things like women who you
know were in.
I have a client, for example,mindy, who was in a job for, I
(27:16):
want to say, five or six years,really was underpaid,
underappreciated, was anincredible performer, but she
just didn't have the belief inherself to even ask for what she
was worth, right.
So so so we're, we're playingwith pleasure and sensuality and
it's showing up in how she isin her professional life.
She's able to actually go inand ask for the raise and ask
(27:40):
and get it because of how she'sgoing for it Right.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
That was going to be my next question.
What are some of the unexpectedbenefits of this that you have
seen?
But that's a perfect one.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yeah, I've seen women who wanted to, you know, pursue
a dream, start a business,write a book, like start
something that they felt like animposter.
They felt nervous about showingup and taking up space and just
seeing that shift where they gofrom like it's this crazy dream
that I'll do someday, butprobably never to.
(28:12):
It's happening now.
They're living the dream.
Now they're bragging about youknow how things actually worked
out and we're all celebrating itfor them.
I've seen a lot ofrelationships that you know
we're already dead but nobodywas willing to call it like end
and new beautiful things comeout of that.
(28:34):
Yeah, like even you know womenwho were kind of resigned to
just going to be a grandma nowI'm just going to do this thing
to like now she's taking a poledancing class and she's
traveling Right and she's likeforget the like, dress for your
age, she's dressing for herself.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Oh my gosh, I know.
Do you remember there was justlike an age where women would
like it was like normal?
You cut your hair off and yougo get the rollers and you just
like resigned to be an old andthey were not that old when they
started doing that.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
I know, I know, like, do you remember the golden
girls?
Yes, like they were in theirfifties.
Those were in their fifties.
Like what?
No, that's not old.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
What was going on?
Oh, that's so crazy.
I love that so much.
Okay, so where can we look foryou?
What kind of things are you upto these days that we, where
women, can find you and getinvolved with you?
If this is something they'relike, I need this in my life.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm .
I'm all over the place.
I'm on Instagram at bemarvelous.
I'm pretty outspoken there.
I'm on YouTube and the bestplace to come play with me is
inside the central sisterhood,which is on school.
I know you're going to putlinks in the show notes.
That's really where all themagic is happening these days.
So yeah, oh, there's my website.
(29:56):
Be marvelouscom, but you knowit's a good website.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
There's lots of options on there.
I was on there.
It's beautiful, Thanks.
So I ask everybody this butwhat is your essential?
Go to like self-care whenthings get rough and you're
overwhelmed.
What do you do for yourself?
Go to like self-care whenthings get rough and you're
overwhelmed.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
What do you do for yourself?
I put on a sensual song and Iget in front of a mirror and I
strip for myself.
Ooh I love that it's dancing,but it's bringing sensuality
into it and it's for me, for myown aliveness, for my own
(30:36):
pleasure, for my own like makinglove to the mirror.
That's it, that's my favoriteway.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I love it, how powerful, beautiful it is.
Well, is there anything elseyou want to leave us with today,
marta?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
That pleasure is your birthright.
It's not something you have toearn that you are worthy of
receiving so much pleasure thatyou have permission to access it
, even when the world feels likeit's burning, because it's
actually the fuel that allowsyou to deal with whether the
(31:08):
world is burning or not, withyou know whether the world is
burning or not.
So, yeah, pleasure is yourbirthright.
You have permission toexperience that.
All the things that make youfeel ashamed and small and like
limited, those are constructs,those are not actually your
truth, and if you come play withme inside the central
sisterhood, you're going tostart to reclaim that and see
that in the women around you,everything will shift.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Beautiful, beautiful.
Well, thank you so much forcoming and inspiring women today
.
I really appreciate it.
Thank you for having me.
It's been a pleasure.
Hello and welcome to Empowered Ease.
My guest today is Marta Kagan.
She is a body confidence andsensuality coach working with
women 50 and over to reconnectwith their sensuality,
confidence and pleasure.
Welcome, marta.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Thank you, sean, so good to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I'm so happy you're here with us.
How are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, I'm feeling in my body, in my pleasure and in
gratitude to be here with you.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Oh, all beautiful things.
I love that so much.
Okay, so I am going to have amillion questions, I'm sure, but
tell me just a little bit aboutwhat being a body confidence
and sensuality coach is.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
It's really about helping women particularly.
I'm working with women over 40for the most part, but it's
helping women feel sensualconfidence, alive, right,
radiant, um, helping them tolove their bodies instead of
criticize their bodies, which iswhat we are conditioned to do
(01:11):
from a very, very early age.
So, yeah, it's, it's takingyour power back through your
sensuality.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Ultimately, I love that Beautiful.
So um tell me a little bit howyou got into this.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, well, I started coaching just life coaching,
right.
Generic life coaching, quoteunquote um in 2001.
So like when coaching was stillbrand new study with Thomas
Jane Leonard, who was the fatherof coaching when he was still
alive, and um, yeah, at the timeI think I was always a seeker,
(01:47):
you know, someone who was alwaysinterested in how the human
mind works and how the humanbody works and how can we make
ourselves better and how can welive life as fully as possible.
Right, and that was in mytwenties still, and so I did
that for a while.
And then I did a whole bunch ofother things professionally in
marketing, with working withtech startups and doing all this
stuff that has nothing to dowith being a body confidence and
(02:10):
sensuality coach other thanliving in a human body and
dealing with burnout and dealingwith stress and dealing with
all the pressures that you knowall humans have to deal with but
that are maybe a little bitunique to being in a female body
.
Um, and then, when I hit myforties, uh, unlike a lot of
(02:32):
women, I didn't have the likemidlife crisis panic.
I thought 40 is going to beamazing, 40 is going to be my
new 30, felt really good.
And then, um, I'm making this ashorter story than it could
actually be, but bear with me.
I woke up one morning and feltlike wait a second, is this it?
(02:52):
Like, is this it, you know?
Like now I'm just going to getolder and become irrelevant and
like I've missed.
I've missed the window and nowI should just go knit and become
a grandmother, which is kind ofwhat the message was, right,
like that dulling down feelingthat society tells you it's time
to do yes, like I hit myexpiration date right and yeah
(03:13):
relevant, and that came a littlebit late for me.
I also, at the time, decided tostop drinking alcohol, to like
hit the reset button in a bigway in my life, um, and that led
to me recognizing how detachedI'd become from my own body,
from my own sensuality.
Had been married for a coupleof decades At that point, I'd
(03:34):
raised two kids.
Um, I just kind of forgot aboutme, like the sensual, alive,
radiant version of myself that,in her twenties, was like oh,
we're going to live this amazinglife, we're going to coach
people, we're going to.
You know, I had all thesedreams.
Yeah, it was in my forties,still selling that but feeling
(03:54):
like I'm not living it you knowUm.
And so I started seeking again,and I actually stumbled on a
book called pussy a reclamation.
I just bought it, I haven'tread it yet.
And I actually stumbled on abook called Pussy a reclamation.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I just bought it.
I haven't read it yet, but Ijust bought that book.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
It is a must read, I give it to everyone, I recommend
it to everyone.
And that was like the beginningof the awakening of like, oh
yeah, there's this part of me,this, you know where all of my
life force, energy, lives, thispart of my body that is
literally birthed real humans.
And yeah, you're a badass, yeah, and that kind of started my,
(04:37):
my recognition of how essentialpleasure is, how it's really the
antidote to most of what modernlife hands us, that sort of
takes us out of aliveness, andand also recognizing how much
we're taught to believe thatpleasure is like frivolous, it's
something you only get to haveafter you've suffered
(04:59):
sufficiently.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And that's very specific to females, I think,
like in a lot of ways too.
Yes, yeah, so that was thebeginning of females.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I think in a lot of ways too.
Yes, yeah, so that was thebeginning of me really looking
for okay.
So what does that mean?
Great, like I'm buying intothis and Mama Gina's telling me,
like pussy is the path.
So I basically doubled down oninvesting on myself, doing
exactly what most women don't do, which is invest in themselves.
(05:26):
Right, we're always investingin our children, our partners,
our girlfriends, our sisters orwhoever Whoever's in need around
us that we love.
Yeah, but I decided to makethat investment in myself, in my
pleasure, in basically fuelingthe next chapter of my life.
That led to me ending my 24year marriage.
(05:46):
That led to me, you know,shifting my focus from mental
and emotional fitness, which iskind of where I was focusing as
a coach, to really bringbringing pleasure into it, to
getting certified as a pleasurecoach from Mama Gina School of
Womenly Arts, and this the focusof the services that I provide
(06:07):
and the change I want to make inthe world.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Oh my gosh, how beautiful.
Okay, so, before we get intokind of the details of that,
because I have many questions myfirst question is a personal
one for me, because, as someonewho's like stepping into an
entrepreneur role, and steppinginto that it's a process of
letting yourself be seen indifferent ways and then
addressing whatever comes up inthat.
If you're not an entrepreneur,that's what happens, but it's
(06:33):
super hard.
But being stepping up in thisway, in this light, being like a
pleasure coach, a sensualitycoach, like I just tell me about
what that process was like foryou, because internally I'm like
, fuck yeah, but I'm like, well,that would be so hard to go out
there and like speak that.
So tell me your tricks.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah, no, you're so right, because society tells us
as women that we shouldn't enjoypleasure, that we should, you
know like, we should be goodgirls, right, and we should be
virgins until we're married orwhatever, depending on kind of
what your religious and socialupbringing, cultural upbringing,
is.
But the core message to allwomen, I think, regardless of
(07:13):
culture, is you shouldn't be thecenter of attention, you
shouldn't play big, you shouldbe humble and small, you
shouldn't like sex, youshouldn't talk about sex, you
shouldn't, you know, be sexyexcept in very specific
situations where it's okay.
So, yeah, there are a ton ofmessages and for me personally I
(07:37):
struggled with, like, how tointroduce that shift.
Is my focus right, going frommental and emotional fitness
which is free of shame?
There's no shame associatedwith that.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Yeah, yeah, that's the word I think I'm looking for
.
There's shame when you bringthis up.
Yeah, shame's the hardest, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
And it's been a process.
It's been a process of feelinginto that of walking my talk.
Feeling into that of walking mytalk, feeling like feeling the
shame that society has given meand releasing it because it's
not mine Right.
None of us was born ashamed ofour bodies, of our body parts,
of how they look, of how wetouch them or don't touch them.
(08:20):
Like that is all learned.
So it's sort of an unlearningand a remembering the core truth
that you know once upon a time,sensuality and sexuality was
seen as a divine gift, like agift from the gods.
It is a beautiful, sacred thingand over millennia we have
corrupted that in many ways, formany reasons, which maybe is
(08:41):
beyond the scope of this podcast.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
You can talk about the patriarchy if you want.
I love it.
Oh, we're gonna.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Rarely do I have a conversation that doesn't touch
on that.
Me too.
Yeah, it's, the struggle isreal and it's it's become more
comfortable the longer I've beentalking about it and putting
myself out there.
And this is probably thebiggest pro tip I'll give you is
surround yourself with as manywomen as you can who are also in
(09:13):
this work, in this space,talking this talk, who use the
word pussy liberally and aren'tall ashamed about it, who will
express their sensuality in waysthat you know are real and true
and genuine.
When you start to spend timearound that kind of sisterhood,
it becomes, you know, wenormalize.
We normalize what should benormal anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Oh my gosh, I love that you've said that this comes
up every single one of theepisodes I've had so far.
I think I've recorded likeeight of them now.
But women healing communityit's so important.
We need a community around usof like-minded people who hold
us up.
It's how I get through everyday and I love that you said
that, because it literally comesup every episode, no matter who
I'm talking to.
It's so powerful to surroundyourself by with women who
(09:57):
believe in you, who get whatyou're working on and who are
encouraging you to step intothat discomfort I love that so
much who are encouraging you tostep into that discomfort, I
love that so much, and the onlyreason why we don't do that
already and automatically ispatriarchy.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Should we come back to it, right, patriarchy.
Looked at, you know, thefeminine as weak, as subservient
, as not as important, andlooked at how we gathered.
Naturally, women used to gatherall the time in community,
right, like that's what we did,we gathered in circles, and then
(10:31):
they burned us for it.
So the the you know part of thepatriarchy that has separated
us and created that sister woundwhere we look at other women as
the competition right for themale partner competition for
this thing or that thing is iswhy we're not doing that.
but it is so natural, actually,and and so essential and so
beautiful and powerful andbeneficial and healing and all
(10:52):
the all the things.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yes, our culture really reinforces which is so
sad because I feel, I believeit's the root of a lot of
women's struggles is that ourvalue is in what we provide to
others, which is beautiful thatwe are a lot of us are
caregivers and provide to others, but that is not our value.
Agreed, it's beautiful, it'svery powerful, but that's not
(11:17):
our purpose here and I think ourculture tricks us into thinking
that's our purpose.
Sometimes it can be confusing.
So what is?
I want to know, what is thesome of the number one
complaints that when women cometo you, that they're that
they're worried about orstruggling with.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yeah, I mean, for the most part, it's the universal
loss of feeling sensual at all,and that happens over time.
It happens between, like, thedemands of life, whether you're
a mother or not, taking care ofothers children, parents,
spouses, co-workers, whoever itcomes through the conditioning,
(11:57):
right Patriarchal conditioning,which is you should be a good
girl and she keep your legscrossed, you should dress a
certain way, only say certainthings, and you know so.
It's a combination of all thesefactors that just keep us more
and more and more and moredisconnected from how we really
feel, from our true emotions,right.
That tell you that you're tooemotional.
(12:19):
You should keep it, keep ittogether, right?
You shouldn't feel the way thatyou feel for it.
No one wants to talk aboutperiods or the fact that women
are actually on a monthly cycle.
Hello, like for decades.
This is what happens, andsomehow we're supposed to just
pretend that's not happening.
It's really just a rejection ofthe feminine altogether.
And the number one complaint isI feel numb, I feel
(12:46):
disconnected, I don't rememberwhat it's like to be sensual, I
hate my body, I don't like thisthing, I don't like that thing.
So it's a lot of internalizedpatriarchy, a lot of
internalized misogyny um attackourselves.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh, I get it.
I feel some of that sometimes,so I love that you said that and
gave that a voice.
I get it.
I feel some of that sometimes,so I love that you said that and
gave that a voice.
So, when you're working withwomen, what kind of?
What kind of?
So?
I got on your website.
I saw you have a lot ofservices, but what is the
foundation of those serviceswhen you start working with
women to reclaim this power?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah, so there's a.
There's a couple of paths.
So of course there's theone-on-one coaching path where
we're really working togetherfor three, six, 12 months on
reclaiming your power, yoursensuality.
There's a lot that goes intothat.
The more common path is peoplewill come in through the central
sisterhood, which is a freecommunity that I've started on
school.
It's got about 250 ish membersthere now and uh, inside their
(13:45):
school.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
By the way, school's awesome.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah, community, right, that's a big piece of it.
There's community, so there'sit's a group of over 250 women
over 40 who are specific thereto reclaim their sensuality,
their confidence, to feel morepleasure in life.
So there you'll find umdifferent tools and practices
and rituals that you canpractice on your own.
We also have live sessionswhere we're teaching or coaching
(14:10):
, you know in the moment, but itstarts with a couple things
Unlearning some of the limitingbeliefs and some of the
patriarchal conditioning thatwe've already touched on, and a
lot more because we're justscratching the surface.
Learning how to access pleasurein your body, like it's very
(14:35):
practical and um really requiresyou to do the thing.
It's not a mental, this is nota discussion, it's not an
exercise.
It's like I want you to feelyour feelings and I'm going to
show you, and I want you to feelyour body and I'm to show you
how, like the crux of it.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I love that.
That's what.
So I coach women throughburnout and for I would say,
maybe half the women thatfeeling their body, that
connection is completely lostand for some of them, like half
of them, we start there wherethey're just like.
Learning to like sit and takeup space is difficult, so I
(15:10):
can't imagine addressing some ofthese more deeper, like what we
consider shameful things andhow empowering that must be when
you finally claim it yeah andthe what.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
What's interesting about it is, you know, unlike
therapy like if you, if you,worked with a therapist on shame
or guilt or sensuality, I thinkthere's a lot of shadow work
and a lot of, yeah, getting intolike trauma and wounding that
created, right, the shame in thefirst place, whereas pleasure
(15:43):
coaching really comes at it from.
I just need your body to feelpleasure.
I just need to.
My job is to help you findwithin yourself those access
points that let you rememberwhat your body knows how to do,
independent of what happens uphere, because this is what we
spend most of our lives, up here, right in our heads, thinking
(16:04):
and analyzing and tellingstories about things.
And I'm trying to actually makethat stop and for you to tune
into what's happening in thismeat suit and specifically
through pleasure, because you'regoing to lean into that versus
like a lot of things that makeyou draw away.
So it happens really naturallywith just a little bit of, you
(16:26):
know, coaching to get you thereand the transformation is so
instance, because that thatsensual, that sexual energy that
lives in your body isunbelievably powerful, Like it
literally creates life.
So of course it can change yourmood, of course it can reset
your mindset.
Of course it can make you feelpowerful again really quickly.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
That's beautiful.
I love that.
So I'm hearing there's a lot ofphysical practice to this.
I love that, awesome.
So are there any common mythsabout this that you end up
dispelling with women, oranything misconceptions that
women come to you with thatyou're commonly so many.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Starting with number one is probably that there's
something wrong with you,there's something that needs to
be fixed Like that's the firstone I try to undo or unprogram
because it's so, it's soingrained.
Again, it starts so early, right, like you need to fix this
about your body, you'll bebetter when.
No, that's the first one.
(17:30):
And then there's a lot of shame, as we've already touched on,
because, again, the culture saysyou can only dress a certain
way, you can't behave, you can'tsay certain things.
You know, there's so many rulesthat have been constructed
around what's okay for a woman.
Some of those away.
And the beautiful thing, jen,is that when you're doing this
(17:52):
in sisterhood, one-on-one alsohas power.
But when you're there with agroup of women who are feeling
the same things and strugglingwith the same things and
watching each other andcelebrating each other as they
come alive, like, literally,that's what's happening.
Oh, it's like angels singing.
It's really, really, reallypotent and powerful and the
changes happen so fast.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Oh, that sounds amazing.
So why women over 40?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Because I'm 53.
That just feels like relevantto what I'm going through and
where I have the most livedexperience right now.
The truth is, these things arevaluable and apply to women of
all ages, and my hope is thatover time, um, my universe will
(18:43):
include women and girls, forthat matter, right Of all ages
but for now, that's just kind ofwhere I'm starting, cause
that's that's where I'm at,that's where I was at recently
and that's where I'm still at.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
So I hear you.
I hear you.
I think there's somethingpowerful about this age, though.
It's like the age where weshift from, like, trying to
prove who we are, to valuing ourpiece a little more, and
there's just so much power aswomen settle into that that I
feel like these are the womenwho might be wanted a little
more than maybe.
That's not true, because theseyounger generations are doing a
(19:15):
lot more than I expected, buttotally and the circumstances
change, you know, in thischapter of life.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
You know my kids are grown now so they're out of the
house, so I'm not dealing withlike parenting daily.
You know the the changes thatcome with perimenopause and
menopause introduce a new set ofchallenges and also a new set
of freedoms right, there'snothing about birth control.
There's less concern about likewhen can we have sex, because
(19:43):
the kids are around or there'ssome need, right?
So like everything starts toshift and at the same time,
society is telling us you're nolonger relevant, you can no
longer produce new humans, so wedon't really care about you
anymore.
We're going to sell youanti-aging things and things
that will make us money that youknow, that continue to feed
(20:04):
this idea that there's somethingwrong with you that needs to be
fixed, that you've expired.
But the truth is this is whenwe get our superpowers because
we're liberated from some ofthose things, because we give
fewer fucks, because we havefewer people to take care of,
potentially because our we'renot necessarily cycling the same
way every month and quite as asI hesitate to use the word
(20:29):
triggered, but has activated byhormonal fluctuations.
So so, yeah, I think your pointis spot on that this is a
special time in a woman's life.
And we're only one of threespecies where females actually
live beyond their reproductiveyears right.
There's like there's a purpose,we serve a purpose and we're
(20:51):
just starting to figure that out, and I want to empower more
women to jump on in, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I love, love, love that you know that too, cause
that's one of my favorite thingsbecause it's they're all
species with, like,overdeveloped frontal lobes, so
it's all the connection species.
So it's so beautiful.
So it's so beautiful and it hasa lot of value.
(21:18):
We have evolved that we putwomen offline and they have so
much value that we have keptthem around for longer after
they're offline, creating babies.
That's so beautiful, sopowerful.
So, um, when women come to you,is there any initial fears that
you're you have that you face alot with women that they need
to overcome to be able to stepinto this, because I just see a
(21:40):
lot of I don't know I'm I'mmaking it up in my head maybe,
but I'm envisioning a lot ofhold up in some of these ladies
no, you're right.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I mean, it runs the gamut, right, there's.
There's women who have grown upin, um, you have a religious or
family background that was veryconservative and makes you know
, even like the word pussy willnever come out of their mouth,
like, yeah, there's a lot ofdiscomfort and there's a lot of
getting comfortable with.
They may not have even everlooked at that part of their
(22:10):
body, for example.
Right, right, so we're reallystarting in new territory.
And then there's women who youknow, have had varying degrees
of liberation around theirsensuality, but we, myself
included we still live in apatriarchal world culture.
There's no way around it.
So y'all have that internalized.
You know, conditioning nomatter what.
So it really runs the gamut.
(22:33):
But what I think is amazing ishow quickly we can, like, fall
into the knowing that this isnormal, that this is true, that
this is sacred, that this isbeautiful and powerful and that,
you know, there's there's allof the shame and guilt and taboo
associated with it is aconstruct that was put on it,
(22:55):
that it's not real.
So, like that falls away prettyquickly in these containers.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
So if women at home are listening to you and like,
yes, I need this, where wouldyou suggest that they start, or
how would you get started, orhow would you?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
get started.
I would invite them to comejoin the central sisterhood,
which is the free community,where you can sort of get a
taste of some pleasure tools andpractices, where you can start
to feel the sisterhood supportof the community right?
People sharing what theirexperiences are, sharing what
problems they're having andlooking for solutions, or
sharing pleasure rituals, thingslike that.
(23:31):
And then once they get theirtoes wet and they're having and
looking for solutions, orsharing pleasure rituals, things
like that.
And then once they get theirtoes wet and they're like, okay,
I want more, I really want towork on this, then you can
become a member of the pleasureplayground, which is the paid
community.
I kind of think of it as likethe pleasure gym, so much more
fun than a gym, and that's wherewe get into some of the more
(23:53):
hands-on practices.
Pun intended, oh, I love that,yeah, beautiful, okay.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
So I'm going to have to cut this part out because I
just had a brain fart.
Sorry, I love when.
When that happens.
I want to get more into yourstory here a little bit.
I'm trying to think how to um,how to really get into it.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
um, there's so much here to say yeah, and my story
is like I'm such a mutt you knowwhat I mean Like I've, I've
been all over the road in myjourney and the only thing
that's really stayed consistentis a desire to be true to myself
(24:44):
, a desire to keep, you know,improving in some way, learning
something, growing, evolving, um, so I don't know, I, I it's
funny because I strugglesometimes with keeping my story
concise because, like whichchapter are we talking about?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
right, I know, lifetime is so long right.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
There was the like starting my career and and
defying expectations chapter.
There was the what the fuck isMedia?
Chapter, which is like a wholedifferent version.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Right, oh, my God, I know I'm in that chapter, Like,
do I really need to learn this?
I guess I do.
Okay, let's talk about thewomen that you're helping, then.
What are some of thetransformations you see and some
of the powerful things you seethese women embodying or
embracing, or the changes, yourshifts you're seeing in these
women that you're working with?
I think the most like.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
The most beautiful potent change is women going
from not feeling comfortablelooking at themselves in the
mirror, what they see or youknow, kind of like even in their
body language, you see thislike discomfort to seeing a
woman who can look at herself inthe mirror with soft, loving
eyes, who can trust her ownintuition again, her own
(26:01):
instincts, like listen to herbody instead of the stories that
have been implanted, really, byother people in her head.
Right, the voices that arecritical that are actually they
sound like your voice.
Right, the voices that arecritical that are actually they
sound like your voice, butthey're not.
You know, they're like mom,society, this guy, that guy.
(26:24):
So just seeing them likeliterally like blossom, like a
flower.
Right, just like open up frombeing like tight and tense and
closed off and stressed.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
And settling into themselves a little bit.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yes, and it's so much a shift in not like what did
you achieve, or what goals, orlike what happened on the
outside.
It's so much of an internalshift where you go from
struggling and tolerating toenjoying and receiving right,
(26:54):
which is actually like the morenatural state for females to be
in receptive mode instead oflike constantly caregiving,
which is what we've becomeconditioned to do forever.
But on a practical level, I'veseen things like women who you
know were in.
I have a client, for example,mindy, who was in a job for, I
(27:16):
want to say, five or six years,really was underpaid,
underappreciated, was anincredible performer, but she
just didn't have the belief inherself to even ask for what she
was worth, right.
So so so we're, we're playingwith pleasure and sensuality and
it's showing up in how she isin her professional life.
She's able to actually go inand ask for the raise and ask
(27:40):
and get it because of how she'sgoing for it Right.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
That was going to be my next question.
What are some of the unexpectedbenefits of this that you have
seen?
But that's a perfect one.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yeah, I've seen women who wanted to, you know, pursue
a dream, start a business,write a book, like start
something that they felt like animposter.
They felt nervous about showingup and taking up space and just
seeing that shift where they gofrom like it's this crazy dream
that I'll do someday, butprobably never to.
(28:12):
It's happening now.
They're living the dream.
Now they're bragging about youknow how things actually worked
out and we're all celebrating itfor them.
I've seen a lot ofrelationships that you know
we're already dead but nobodywas willing to call it like end
and new beautiful things comeout of that.
(28:34):
Yeah, like even you know womenwho were kind of resigned to
just going to be a grandma nowI'm just going to do this thing
to like now she's taking a poledancing class and she's
traveling Right and she's likeforget the like, dress for your
age, she's dressing for herself.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Oh my gosh, I know.
Do you remember there was justlike an age where women would
like it was like normal?
You cut your hair off and yougo get the rollers and you just
like resigned to be an old andthey were not that old when they
started doing that.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
I know, I know, like, do you remember the golden
girls?
Yes, like they were in theirfifties.
Those were in their fifties.
Like what?
No, that's not old.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
What was going on?
Oh, that's so crazy.
I love that so much.
Okay, so where can we look foryou?
What kind of things are you upto these days that we, where
women, can find you and getinvolved with you?
If this is something they'relike, I need this in my life.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm .
I'm all over the place.
I'm on Instagram at bemarvelous.
I'm pretty outspoken there.
I'm on YouTube and the bestplace to come play with me is
inside the central sisterhood,which is on school.
I know you're going to putlinks in the show notes.
That's really where all themagic is happening these days.
So yeah, oh, there's my website.
(29:56):
Be marvelouscom, but you knowit's a good website.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
There's lots of options on there.
I was on there.
It's beautiful, Thanks.
So I ask everybody this butwhat is your essential?
Go to like self-care whenthings get rough and you're
overwhelmed.
What do you do for yourself?
Go to like self-care whenthings get rough and you're
overwhelmed.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
What do you do for yourself?
I put on a sensual song and Iget in front of a mirror and I
strip for myself.
Ooh I love that it's dancing,but it's bringing sensuality
into it and it's for me, for myown aliveness, for my own
(30:36):
pleasure, for my own like makinglove to the mirror.
That's it, that's my favoriteway.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I love it, how powerful, beautiful it is.
Well, is there anything elseyou want to leave us with today,
marta?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
That pleasure is your birthright.
It's not something you have toearn that you are worthy of
receiving so much pleasure thatyou have permission to access it
, even when the world feels likeit's burning, because it's
actually the fuel that allowsyou to deal with whether the
(31:08):
world is burning or not, withyou know whether the world is
burning or not.
So, yeah, pleasure is yourbirthright.
You have permission toexperience that.
All the things that make youfeel ashamed and small and like
limited, those are constructs,those are not actually your
truth, and if you come play withme inside the central
sisterhood, you're going tostart to reclaim that and see
that in the women around you,everything will shift.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Beautiful, beautiful.
Well, thank you so much forcoming and inspiring women today
.
I really appreciate it.
Thank you for having me.
It's been a pleasure.
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