March 19, 2025 • 36 mins
In this powerful and deeply moving episode of Empowered Within, I sit down with entrepreneur, author, and sobriety coach Ken Cox, who has dedicated his life to helping others break free from addiction and reclaim their power.
Ken’s latest book, Reclaim Sobriety: 12 Rounds of Sobriety, is shaking up the recovery world with an approach that goes beyond traditional methods. We dive into:
✨ What sobriety truly means in 2025
✨ The mindset shifts that create lasting change
✨ Breaking generational cycles of addiction
✨ Why traditional recovery programs don’t work for everyone
✨ How to build a powerful mental toolbox for success
Ken shares his raw, unfiltered journey—growing up surrounded by addiction, battling his own demons, and ultimately turning his life around to become a beacon of hope for others. His story is proof that transformation is possible, no matter where you start.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, this is an episode you don’t want to miss! 🎧✨
📖 Grab Ken’s book Reclaim Sobriety 👉 ReclaimSobriety.com
💡 Learn more about Ken 👉 KenCox.com
🌟 Subscribe, rate, and share to spread the empowerment!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Welcome to Empowered Within, asoul quenching, transformational
podcast that will set your soulon fire through candid and
inspiring conversations.
Leading experts, celebrities,healers, and I share our
journeys of how we've overcomechallenges to living an
empowered life from within.
I'm your host, Jennifer Pilates.
Welcome to another episode ofEmpowered Within.
Audio Only - All Participant (00:34):
Hi there and welcome to the show.
I am so excited to have with ustoday's guest, Ken Cox.
And for one reason, hisbackground, when you get to see
this, oh my gosh.
Craving some Sherbert, we bothhave some obsession with pinks,
which is pretty cool.
But let me tell you a little bitabout Ken.
Ken is an entrepreneur, author,and sobriety coach who has
(00:55):
dedicated his life to helpingothers overcome addiction
through innovative methodsbeyond traditional approaches.
His latest book, ReclaimSobriety, 12 Rounds of Sobriety,
draws from his personalexperiences and offers a unique
blend of strategies that empowerindividuals to achieve lasting
sobriety.
Ken's approach emphasizespersonal responsibility,
(01:18):
empowerment, and a holistic viewof recovery, helping individuals
to not only stay sober, but tothrive in their lives.
Welcome to the show, Ken.
Thank you so much for having me.
I appreciate it.
Oh, of course.
I'm so happy to have you.
I know it's been a while.
It's been, uh, long overdue forus to have our moment together.
So here we are towards the endof the year.
(01:38):
I think this is a great time totalk about sobriety during quite
a stressful month and going intowhat some people feel stressful
into the new year and a lot ofpressure.
I wanted to ask you somethingthough, because I feel over the
years, things have gotten alittle twisted and curved when
we talk about sobriety and whatit means.
And I would really like you tohelp our audience to understand
(02:01):
what does sobriety mean to youin 2024?
Wow.
Okay.
Sobriety to me is just beingable to live a life without, any
specific third party or thirdthing in your life, right?
So, when you're in addiction,like in active addiction, you
(02:21):
almost, You know, everybody saysthe same thing.
I'm going to quit tomorrow.
I'm gonna quit next week afterthe holidays, all of those
things.
But whenever it's time toactually do it, you turn into
like a zombie almost and you'reacting on things that, you know,
you're conscious of saying youshouldn't be doing this.
But for some reason, your bodyis just going through the
motions.
It's stopping at the gasstation, stopping at the bar,
(02:42):
stopping at all those places.
So it's removing that from yourlife.
And then just being happy ineveryday life, I think is just
so important.
And the living a life ofrecovery or always being in
this, always an addict kind ofmindset.
Just put always kept me in thismindset of misery.
Like I'm always going to befighting this thing, which is
(03:04):
true, but I think there's a lotof mindset shift work and
mindset work that you can do.
They get you to a place whereyou can truly live a happy,
healthy life without thisconstant.
nagging of fear and uncertaintyand doubt in your head that I'm
going to fail again or somethingalong those lines.
(03:24):
Right.
What a great explanation.
Thank you.
I think it's just so importantto just start with that right
away.
So people like we're all on thesame page because some people
will say, well, I'm sober orthey'll call it California
sober, you know?
So it's good to know where westand here.
And the California sober thing.
You know, some people haveproblems with certain things,
(03:46):
right?
And alcoholism or addiction iswhen you're not able to control
it any longer.
Right.
So for me and alcohol, I can'tever do it again because I know
that if I try it just once, evencasually on Christmas morning
or, you know, some egg nog or abrandy at the fire at dinnertime
would be.
Potentially catastrophic for mebecause I know that's a
(04:08):
particular substance, it losesmy consciousness and something
else has control over me.
That I, I'm obviously not theone in control, right?
So take me back to your journey.
How did it start and what gotyou on your path to sobriety?
(04:29):
Yeah.
So, my start is wildly early,birth, You know, born homeless.
My mom was in a women's shelter,for unwed mothers.
It was what they would havecalled it in the seventies.
Right.
That's what she right.
Yeah.
She, uh, you know, I left thereand moved into a bar.
She worked at a bar and we livedin a bar for my early ages.
And then we were, when she metmy father, my stepfather, he was
(04:51):
a baker at the bakery across thestreet from the bar.
And he sat there every night.
So he was an alcoholic.
So the journey for, with therelationship with alcohol starts
for me at two and three yearsold.
Can he go get me a beer?
Can I open it?
Can I have a sip?
That kind of situation was just,you know, and then by, three and
five years old kind of stumbledaround and the older guys
(05:13):
laughing and giggling about it,all the way up seven years old
was when they put me in, I gotin and started getting in
trouble.
They started putting me in atherapy at seven.
I got in a lot of trouble at 13.
They, then I was my first timein AA, never was able to
successfully not have alcohol asa daily part of my life.
(05:33):
I would go three, four months,something would happen and then
right back into it.
Not until I turned 30.
I was 39 or 40 somewhere inthere.
I don't know the exact dates.
I could go back and probablyfind them.
I was diagnosed with liverdisease, alcohol related liver
disease, and my doctor gave metwo years.
So, that's when it became timeto really get serious about it.
(05:57):
And that started, you know, I'llbe 50 in May.
So, and it's been a struggle,you know, the first several
years were a big struggle, lotsof relapses, lots of failure.
Um, you know, even with the guysof, you know, you're going to
die, was still wildlychallenging.
It would lead to, you know, thetraditional paths led me to
(06:20):
constant relapses, constantanger, constant, not.
Feeling good about myself.
And until I started looking atdifferent approaches and maybe
not even different approaches,just framed differently, um,
that I start really making somebig changes.
And the book reclaimed sobriety.
Where I think it, it fills two,two really big gaps and two
(06:42):
very, very wonderful programs.
Smart recovery.
I love smart recovery.
I think it's a great program,but they don't, they by no means
promote, um, moderation, butthey accept moderation.
Right.
And that's something that'sgoing to work for me.
Uh, it took me a long time tofigure that out and a, this
whole concept of giving it overto somebody else, never.
(07:03):
Never sat right to me.
regardless of whoever'sreligious beliefs or anything, I
believe that I have to beempowered to, to carve my own
path and do my own thing and.
I think that mindset of that,it's, that it's not me just
leads me back to this relapsemoment all the time.
It's this constant thing.
And, I was tired, very tired ofhaving panic attacks, driving
(07:26):
past the gas station or walkinginto the liquor aisle at the
grocery store and freezing.
So, I had to take a differentapproach.
Wow.
Well, I commend you on that.
And there's so much, there's somany nuggets that I want to
start with.
And one, Holy mackerel.
Let's dive back to the 1970s.
All I heard were like bellsgoing off when you're talking
(07:47):
about Oh, go get me a beer.
Go grab me a glass of wine thatwas such a seventies thing.
That was such a seventies thingto like also change the channel.
Right.
While you're up, grab me a beer.
Right.
Explain just the mindset of thedynamics of how that sets up a
child for possibly going down anot great road.
(08:09):
Okay.
so, you know, a little moreinsight to my childhood.
it was obviously a bit rough andtumble the neighborhood that I
grew up in.
There was literally, agentlemen's two gentlemen's club
within walking distance.
By the age of, you know, seven,eight years old, I could, sneak
out and wipe the windows andpeek in at that.
So, for me, it's what made you aman.
(08:32):
Like, uh, you know, drink abeer, puts hair on your chest,
you know, all of those thingswhere this is what men do.
They work a day, they get off,they sit on the driveway, they
open the garage door, they mightstart a bonfire and a couple
neighbors come over andwhoever's driveway you're at.
We there until we drink them outof beer that night.
Everybody passes out and goes tobed.
And next night, another garagedoor opens and that's where
(08:53):
you're at.
So that was my life.
And I associated, not justalcohol with being a man, but
with the more you can drink andif you can stay up longer than
all the other guys, then you'rethe.
Then you're the strongest man.
You're the toughest man.
And it's just a weird, weirdmindset.
It was a weird mindset, but thisis so 1970s.
(09:15):
I feel like I should go put onplaid pants.
Absolutely.
So that's just what it was.
And then, after that, it becamepart of who I was like.
Nobody in my life even had metme not drinking like nobody, I
can remember, being like 17 or18 years old and, I'd already
(09:36):
been arrested multiple timesand, I've been through AA and
all these things that my motherwould still say, well, Kenny
doesn't drink, uh, you know, andshe was just dumped on it and it
was just always drunk.
I was Vodka and Kool Aid and,going to in my thermos in fourth
grade, right?
Oh my gosh We used to putalcohol in hairspray bottles in
high school and no one questionsspraying hairspray into your
(10:00):
mouth Yeah, crazy crazy Yeah,look at what we've been through
my gosh.
What I love about your story isthat you talk about breaking the
mold.
Why traditional recoveryprograms don't work for
everybody.
And I think that's so importantbecause, like you said, nothing
(10:22):
is a one size fits all, but Ireally feel like you've hit on
some nuggets that are soimportant for people.
And I'm hoping that you can divea little deeper into that.
Yeah, those two things are thekeystones for me in the whole
thing.
Moderation had to be taken offthe plate and AA says no
moderation, right?
But that program didn't work forme because of this concept of.
(10:46):
Letting go of yourself.
And, I was not, uh, spiritualityhas always been something that's
nagging at me.
I've never been a religious man.
today I'd say I'm prettyspiritual.
For a long time I was anti allof that, right.
It was just stay away from me.
I don't want to think about it.
I just want to.
You know, get through thisbiological life the best way
that I can.
(11:06):
But now it, it plays a big partfor me.
In the gratitude piece atminimum, right?
Having gratitude for life is abit of big part for me, but I
couldn't give it up to thisunknowing being or whatever the,
whatever they're trying to tellyou to do.
I couldn't comprehend it even.
So it just didn't work for me.
(11:26):
And that being such acornerstone.
Of that program just turned meoff to it.
Right.
It was like, oh, this is alljust bogus steps go through and
blah, blah, blah.
so what I truly believe thatthis game is, and I don't think
this.
And just addiction.
I think it in every part is youneed a big toolbox in life and
(11:50):
no set of tools are going towork the same for every person.
And shoot, sometimes the sametool given to you, just, just
given to you by somebody elseworks better because it might be
the same tool, but it was frameda different way for you.
And.
So that's what I try to do isjust give permission to people
to try things.
If it works for you, it works.
(12:11):
It's not wrong.
You know, the, I hear all thetime, people like, well, you
can't do it that way, or youhave to do it this way, or this
is the only way that it works.
And that's just such bull.
It doesn't, you know, we're alldifferent.
We all have.
obscene amounts of variablesbehind us.
And, so I just think we need abig toolbox and when things come
(12:32):
up, have the ability to pull outthe right tool or try a tool and
throw it back and try anotherone and keep trying tools until,
you know, you at least get pastthat, that moment in life.
I think that's excellent advice.
May I ask in your belief system,do you believe that addiction,
whether it's alcoholism oranything else, whether that is a
(12:53):
disease or whether that is plainand simple, just an addiction.
I think it's both, anybody thathas wanted to not do something
with every bit of their being,but for some reason they keep
doing the action.
They can't, it's souncomprehendable now to look
(13:15):
back and watch myself literallysaying you shouldn't be doing
this.
You shouldn't be doing this allthe way up until the moment of
doing it.
And then just saying, Oh, screwit.
I don't care anymore.
Is such a bizarre thing thatthis chemical has this thing
over you and going throughwithdrawals a few times.
(13:35):
I mean, there's definitely.
a physical component to theaddiction with alcohol and
opioids.
I've been fortunate enough thatI've only had to go through
alcohol withdrawals a handful oftimes and I had to go through,
the Xanax withdrawals, whichwere pretty bad as well.
So there's definitely, there'smedical stuff there, right?
(13:59):
I'm not a doctor, so I don'tknow, um, you know, disease You
know, all that stuff.
But once you pass that it'smindset and I think it's a lack
of self love.
And I think it's that part ofthe how I did all this part of
my research was I went through abunch of coaching programs and I
(14:21):
became a coach in a lot ofdifferent ways.
And I did a lot of studying andneurodivergency and
neurotransmission and high flowcoaching.
I've got my high flow coachingcertificate.
Is, you know, just you'vecreated an environment in your
brain that just has so manydopamine receptors and not
filling those dopamine receptorsis painful, it hurts, right, and
(14:46):
your body will take over andfill those dopamine receptors
somehow, if you can't getcontrol of it.
And that's what I truly believeit is.
I think that was a really goodexplanation.
You know, as you're saying, it'sa little bit of everything just
based on a chemical reactionwithin the body.
It just, absolutely.
(15:08):
What do you feel have been yourbiggest challenges along your
road to sobriety?
My biggest challenge is, I'lltalk about today, right?
Cause there's challengesthroughout the whole project.
I am wildly confident in mysobriety.
At the moment, right?
I've now been through, everypossible scenario in life that
(15:33):
you can deal with.
I've had loss and all thosethings.
And alcohol doesn't evenpercolate in my mind in those
moments.
So, I think I'm well past that,but, so most difficult time for
in the process to get tosobriety, the big hump for me
was pause post acute withdrawalsyndrome.
I think if you're in that, ifyou've been diagnosed with
pause.
(15:54):
Reclaim sobriety is an amazingbook for you.
I think there's a ton of toolsin there to help you get through
that specific part of life.
If you, if you have to gothrough it, it's tough blasts.
For me, it was about eightmonths.
According to the doctors, it canbe a couple of months.
It could be a couple of weeks.
It can be a couple of years.
So that one's really, reallychallenging.
But today it's my relationshipswith the people that are still
(16:17):
in my life that were very closeto me.
Some of them have, you know,still a little bit of denial of
parts of the relationship.
The most challenging ones are mywife and my daughter and dealing
with the trauma that I createdfor them and their lives,
regardless of how much bettertheir lives were than mine.
I created trauma in their livesand that's really hard.
(16:39):
You know, I can see why peoplejust pull the rip cord and start
a whole new life and get awayfrom all of that.
But, those relationships areimportant to me and it's worth
the work to get, you know, overthat.
So, just because the alcohol isgone and that problem is gone
doesn't mean there wasn't anyother problems.
You're probably, probably usingthat for, to overcome them.
(17:00):
And, communicating to them in away that doesn't blame them for
your drinking, but helps themunderstand part of the reasons
you were doing it potentiallyis, is a, it's a landmine of
communication issues, that itpersists, absolutely.
I resonate a lot.
Based on how I grew up in thehousehold I was in.
So I totally hear what you'resaying.
I couldn't not ask then what aresome of the blessings that have
(17:24):
come out of your sobriety?
Oh, everything.
Absolutely everything.
So, you know, through, throughthis process and for me, One of
the therapies that I think wasprobably detrimental in my
recovery was EMDR therapy, whichis imidazole desensitization.
And I don't know if it's that orthe sobriety or what it is, but,
(17:44):
before sobriety, before I couldstand up and not have alcohol as
this literal, You know, every,you know, on a good day, I could
go five or 10 minutes withoutsomething in my head, like
clicking.
Now I go days, weeks, months,unless I'm doing these podcasts.
Oh, stop now.
Come on.
(18:05):
I was able to, find gratitudefor life and I didn't have it
before.
I didn't care.
I did not.
There was not an, an ounce of mybody that cared if I woke up the
next day or not, it just didn'tmatter to me at all.
Like this was just the thingthat I was, that I was doing.
And, I didn't care about mylife.
(18:27):
And today I care, I mean, Everysingle thing I could think of is
just a blessing.
I mean, we're sitting here whereI don't even know what state
you're in.
You might not even be anAmerican.
We're talking and having thisreally cool conversation about
how we grew up and findingsimilarities.
That's amazing.
The sun comes out and the moon'sout.
And, you know, all of thosethings are just.
(18:48):
I was able to find joy for lifeand the very fundamentals of
what life brings to you.
And I never, I didn't ever havethat.
So, you know, it's the closestthing to being born again that I
could think of.
Oh, that's a great way to alignthat.
I like that, which brings you toa whole other place from being
(19:10):
not understanding a higherpower, not wanting to deal with
a higher power, just notresonating with it, to now
saying those words.
That's very powerful.
Yes.
Incredibly powerful.
So you, not only, you havewritten a book.
You've gone down all of thesecoachings, you're very
successful in being anentrepreneur, which being an
(19:33):
entrepreneur is very challengingin and of itself, let alone
adding in, you know, walkingyour road to sobriety as well.
How do you balance both?
Because both are incrediblychallenging.
So entrepreneurship is justsomething that I, it's part of
who I am and I'm balancingentrepreneurship and sobriety
together or just all thedifferent things?
(19:53):
Is All the different things,right?
Because we've got stress, we'vegot leadership coming in, we
have, there's a lot that goesinto both and how do you keep
them copacetic so that you'renot falling off your sobriety
beautiful road?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I stay very busy.
And I'll share a couple trickson how I.
(20:16):
And how I do that.
So my, my, my days are just somuch fun that I don't know.
I mean, I wake up in the morningand I come to the data center
and I work in the data centerMonday through Friday, nine to
five.
And I absolutely love it.
Right.
It's, it's great.
It's, I've got all thesecomputers and I'm always solving
problems and it, you know, itkeeps me very active mentally.
(20:37):
After that I leave and I go toour boxing school and I hang out
with the kids.
And I trained them for a coupleof hours and me and my wife do
that together.
Most nights.
And we get home about eight ornine o'clock and we hang out, we
do dinner and play games and goto bed.
So, you know, that's an average,that's just the total average
day for me.
On the weekends, we very bigsupporters of amateur boxing.
(20:58):
We own St.
Louis's largest boxing school.
So we go to a lot of thoseevents and we hang out, I get to
talk to.
You know, I'm, I'm going to afight this weekend and Holyfield
and Spinks are going to bethere.
Right.
And, and I get to announce it.
So it's like, I get to play withall these great things.
And I talk about, Bashir in mybook and he says, you know, act
(21:20):
on your most passionate desiresat all times with no expectation
of the outcome.
And I think that is just such abeautiful way to live.
And I'm so fortunate to be ableto have adopted that and you
know, it feeds my family.
So how Much luckier could I get?
How cool this weekend soundslike so much fun.
I want to come.
(21:41):
It's a totally free event in St.
Louis.
So, yeah, it's for differentlyabled kids.
So I have a, an autistic boythat's on our boxing team.
And so this is an event fordifferently abled, kids to
compete in the sport of boxing,which is just so much fun.
That's incredible.
Oh, that sounds so amazing andso heartfelt.
I love that you're doing that.
(22:03):
It's so much fun.
Oh my gosh, yes, right?
In your book, Reclaim Sobriety,12 Rounds of Sobriety, you write
it's not just a memoir, it's aguide for anyone looking to take
control of their life, whetherthey're battling addiction,
struggling in their career, orseeking to understand the
dynamics of mental toughness.
What is one thing that you wouldlike readers to walk away with
(22:26):
from your book?
I think the biggest thing thatthey can walk away with.
I believe that if you lookwithin, that's where you'll find
the answers.
I truly believe that, and I hopethat they walk away with that
understanding.
If they don't walk away withthat understanding, they will
walk away with some tools that aperson has used that they can
(22:47):
probably assimilate with, right?
There's not too many drunkennight stories that, that you
have, that I don't have also,right.
I've seen it all from births todeaths when I was drunk.
So, I've been through all of itand, you know, I tried to
assimilate as much as I can givethe tools that I use for myself
(23:08):
on my boxing team to change yourmindset and, empower yourself
to.
to do the hard work.
So I think the tools is what Iwant them to have or tool new
tools that they don't havetoday.
And it might just be one, justone stupid little turn that they
got to make in their formulathat brings them to join
(23:30):
happiness.
So, that's what I'm really justtrying to share.
Yeah, that's incredible.
What piece of advice would yougive to a listener who is
currently struggling with theidea of sobriety so in my mind,
that is a very long rope ofstruggling with sobriety, you
know, from the very beginning tothe end.
I've never had.
(23:53):
For AA, you have to acknowledgethat you're an alcoholic.
I never had that problem.
I always knew I was analcoholic.
I celebrated it.
I put it on a pedestal, right?
It was my, it was one of thetrophies that I had in life.
So I had to break down thatrelationship with alcohol for
myself.
So if there's one thing that Iwant people to get is that if,
(24:15):
if I can quit, anybody can quit,that's definitely true.
I was, you know, I would fightyou for my bottle.
Happily, right?
Not only would I fight you, Iwould try to get you to fight.
I would try to get you to takeit from me so I could fight you.
That's just the kind of personthat I was.
And, it was my best friend, myeverything in my life to me.
(24:36):
And I had to completely severthat relationship.
So I think it doesn't matterwhere you're at is understanding
your relationship with thesubstance itself or the mindset
that you have about that atthose activities.
and start changing thatnarrative.
And if you can't change thatnarrative, I don't know that you
(24:56):
have a possibility for success.
If someone's ready to take thenext step in sobriety, they've
resonated with everything thatyou're saying today.
What do you tell them to do?
They need a step now.
What do you tell them to do?
Obviously, I'm going to say buythe book Proclaimed Sobriety.
It's 99 cents for the e book.
(25:18):
but get in a group.
Get as fast as possible.
Get in a group.
Doesn't matter, which one it is.
If it's AA and you can't standthe religious stuff, just try
to, just try to bypass it.
If you got a smart recoverygroup in your area, I highly
recommend smart recovery groups.
it's a huge game changer for me.
I know they have them zoommeetings as well.
(25:38):
I could never really get intothose.
And I also highly recommendrecovery Dharma.
There's a book, it's aboutBuddhism and suffering and,
there's a life after sufferingand understanding those things.
Just start looking for help.
It's out there.
It is so out there.
If you.
Want help?
It's out there for you.
I'm not sure you have to lookwithin to get there.
(25:59):
I truly believe that.
But I'm also not sure that youcan do it out of community.
It'd be very hard.
I think it would be very, veryhard to do without some kind of
community.
I would agree with that.
So taking a full circle now, howis your health today?
Great.
Um, I mean, I still carry a fewextra pounds, and that's okay.
(26:19):
But, you know, I do I probablytrained four or five hours of
boxing classes a week.
Not nearly as intense as I usedto, but it's still a whole lot
of fun.
I have zero signs of liverdamage at the moment.
So, you know, it went from soridiculous, after my diagnosis,
liver disease, I was able to getnine months, 10, maybe a year
(26:42):
without drinking.
My liver panels were down,right?
Way down, uh, below 40 andactually this is perfect, right?
This is, this is where you needto be.
And I convinced them to let mestart drinking again.
Right.
This is one of my relapses.
It's like, if you can do one ortwo a day, you know, one or two
at dinner every once in a while,go ahead.
Don't do more than three a week.
You know, that turned into threea day, which turned into 20 a
(27:03):
day.
So I started.
going to get blood work from adifferent panel every week to
see how much I could drink forthe week.
Wow.
And then that got me to myregular doctor where he was,
he's like, Oh, something's,something's not right here.
So he was doing blood work everyquarter on me.
But I was doing my own bloodwork every couple of weeks, to
kind of manage my own bloodcounts and my liver counts,
(27:27):
which is just horrible.
Don't don't do that.
It's bad.
But now I've not, I do my livercounts once a year with my chest
x rays and everything else.
And we're in good flying shape.
There's no signs of liverdisease at the time at this
time.
So that's amazing.
Congratulations.
And so that's possible.
I mean, I was, my counts were inthe nine hundreds and, at the
(27:49):
thousands, it's not recoverable.
So there's a point and checkthem, go to the doctor and check
your liver if you drink everyday.
That's great advice.
And so what has it been about 10years now since you've had that
diagnosis?
Yeah, 10 years ago, I got thediagnosis, roughly about 10
years ago.
The liver disease diagnosis,that was a couple, a couple of
(28:10):
really, really rough years.
Those first couple of years werevery, very challenging.
I lost.
I lost one of my mentors duringthat time.
I became the president of thecompany that I'm at now, which
really, you know, a whole ton ofnew challenges that, that you
think, you know, as a vicepresident, but you don't know
until you're the president.
Right.
Right.
(28:30):
Well, congratulations on yourjourney within.
Your journey with your health,your mindset, your body, and
coming into alignment, body,mind, and spirit.
Thank you.
Yeah, I thank you so much foryour vulnerability and sharing
your journey and all of the, theinteresting details.
(28:50):
Because being so candid, I feelis what people really need to
hear and that's what they reallyresonate with.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
it's not always easy, right?
but as a coach, it's requiredand that I think that
assimilation and knowing that,um, you know, other people have
been where you're at is wildlyimportant.
(29:13):
Absolutely.
So if I can be, if I've takenall the negatives, things that
have happened because of that,if I can turn it into something
positive.
You know, that's something thatI would, highly recommend
anybody to do.
That's been through achallenging time in their life.
Right.
Uh, absolutely.
Share the story so other peoplecan have it here and give them
the tools that you used, right?
(29:34):
This is our job now, as we ageis to give tools to the younger
generation and find, find newand creative ways that they can
be, that they can accept them.
Just having the tools.
isn't enough, but having them ina format that's, that it's okay
for them to accept them isreally important.
Yes.
And we have a lot of knowledgecoming from the 1970s.
It was a really, gosh, you justlike totally like took me so to
(29:59):
so many different places.
Oh my goodness.
I appreciate it.
Ken, will you share with ouramazing community where they can
best contact you and get intouch and grab a copy of your
book?
Yeah.
If you want to learn more aboutme, the easiest way to do that
is go to kencox.
com, K E N C O B X.
com.
reclaim sobriety.
com is the book where you canjust look up reclaim sobriety on
(30:21):
Amazon.
It, it was the number one newrelease and multiple categories.
The one that I'm most.
excited about is teen addiction.
It hit a pretty big popularityhit in there, which was not
intended.
But I couldn't be more excitedabout that as a teenager that
went through addiction, youknow, at that time, it, I'm
(30:43):
just, I couldn't be more happy,about that if I can help a kid
that's going through it.
Yeah.
That's incredibly powerful.
I don't need to do anything elsewith my life.
Congratulations on that.
That's incredible.
Well, as we close out the showtoday, Ken, what is one last
piece of inspiration or perhapsadvice that you'd like to leave
with us?
(31:04):
Piece of advice, you just get towork, right?
Stop stalling, get to work.
One of the best pieces of advicethat somebody gave me and it
wasn't a piece of advice.
They told me, Ken, you're shortto the point and somewhat
abrasive.
That's the approach I took inthe book.
And I think that's the approachthat we need to take with
ourselves when we're dealingwith the hard, you know, hard
truths about things.
So get to work, and just don'tbeat around the bush.
(31:28):
Got to do the work, that isgreat advice.
And I think that's so important.
We need to cut the fat out andjust go right in for it.
And that's what people needthese days.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Well, all of Ken's informationwill be over in the show notes
at jenniferpilates.
com.
Ken thank you again so much forbeing here.
this has been a joy andeducational insights, road down
(31:50):
memory lane, for good andinteresting thoughts as well.
Most importantly, I want to sayso much for being here.
Congratulations on the successof your book and congratulations
on your success of now living ahealthy, happy, empowered within
life.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much, Jennifer.
I had a blast talking with youtoday.
You're so welcome.
Well, as we say, everyone, untilnext time, may you live an
(32:13):
empowered life from within.
Thank you so much for tuning into another episode.
Please remember to rate, review,and subscribe to Empowered
Within with Jennifer Pilates.
Your feedback is important.
It helps me to connect with youand gives me insight into who
(32:34):
you are and what you're enjoyingabout the show.
For today's show notes anddiscount codes from today's
sponsors, head over tojenniferpilates.
com.
Until next time, may you live anempowered life from within.
Welcome to Empowered Within, asoul quenching, transformational
podcast that will set your soulon fire through candid and
inspiring conversations.
Leading experts, celebrities,healers, and I share our
journeys of how we've overcomechallenges to living an
empowered life from within.
I'm your host, Jennifer Pilates.
Welcome to another episode ofEmpowered Within.
Audio Only - All Participant (00:34):
Hi there and welcome to the show.
I am so excited to have with ustoday's guest, Ken Cox.
And for one reason, hisbackground, when you get to see
this, oh my gosh.
Craving some Sherbert, we bothhave some obsession with pinks,
which is pretty cool.
But let me tell you a little bitabout Ken.
Ken is an entrepreneur, author,and sobriety coach who has
(00:55):
dedicated his life to helpingothers overcome addiction
through innovative methodsbeyond traditional approaches.
His latest book, ReclaimSobriety, 12 Rounds of Sobriety,
draws from his personalexperiences and offers a unique
blend of strategies that empowerindividuals to achieve lasting
sobriety.
Ken's approach emphasizespersonal responsibility,
(01:18):
empowerment, and a holistic viewof recovery, helping individuals
to not only stay sober, but tothrive in their lives.
Welcome to the show, Ken.
Thank you so much for having me.
I appreciate it.
Oh, of course.
I'm so happy to have you.
I know it's been a while.
It's been, uh, long overdue forus to have our moment together.
So here we are towards the endof the year.
(01:38):
I think this is a great time totalk about sobriety during quite
a stressful month and going intowhat some people feel stressful
into the new year and a lot ofpressure.
I wanted to ask you somethingthough, because I feel over the
years, things have gotten alittle twisted and curved when
we talk about sobriety and whatit means.
And I would really like you tohelp our audience to understand
(02:01):
what does sobriety mean to youin 2024?
Wow.
Okay.
Sobriety to me is just beingable to live a life without, any
specific third party or thirdthing in your life, right?
So, when you're in addiction,like in active addiction, you
(02:21):
almost, You know, everybody saysthe same thing.
I'm going to quit tomorrow.
I'm gonna quit next week afterthe holidays, all of those
things.
But whenever it's time toactually do it, you turn into
like a zombie almost and you'reacting on things that, you know,
you're conscious of saying youshouldn't be doing this.
But for some reason, your bodyis just going through the
motions.
It's stopping at the gasstation, stopping at the bar,
(02:42):
stopping at all those places.
So it's removing that from yourlife.
And then just being happy ineveryday life, I think is just
so important.
And the living a life ofrecovery or always being in
this, always an addict kind ofmindset.
Just put always kept me in thismindset of misery.
Like I'm always going to befighting this thing, which is
(03:04):
true, but I think there's a lotof mindset shift work and
mindset work that you can do.
They get you to a place whereyou can truly live a happy,
healthy life without thisconstant.
nagging of fear and uncertaintyand doubt in your head that I'm
going to fail again or somethingalong those lines.
(03:24):
Right.
What a great explanation.
Thank you.
I think it's just so importantto just start with that right
away.
So people like we're all on thesame page because some people
will say, well, I'm sober orthey'll call it California
sober, you know?
So it's good to know where westand here.
And the California sober thing.
You know, some people haveproblems with certain things,
(03:46):
right?
And alcoholism or addiction iswhen you're not able to control
it any longer.
Right.
So for me and alcohol, I can'tever do it again because I know
that if I try it just once, evencasually on Christmas morning
or, you know, some egg nog or abrandy at the fire at dinnertime
would be.
Potentially catastrophic for mebecause I know that's a
(04:08):
particular substance, it losesmy consciousness and something
else has control over me.
That I, I'm obviously not theone in control, right?
So take me back to your journey.
How did it start and what gotyou on your path to sobriety?
(04:29):
Yeah.
So, my start is wildly early,birth, You know, born homeless.
My mom was in a women's shelter,for unwed mothers.
It was what they would havecalled it in the seventies.
Right.
That's what she right.
Yeah.
She, uh, you know, I left thereand moved into a bar.
She worked at a bar and we livedin a bar for my early ages.
And then we were, when she metmy father, my stepfather, he was
(04:51):
a baker at the bakery across thestreet from the bar.
And he sat there every night.
So he was an alcoholic.
So the journey for, with therelationship with alcohol starts
for me at two and three yearsold.
Can he go get me a beer?
Can I open it?
Can I have a sip?
That kind of situation was just,you know, and then by, three and
five years old kind of stumbledaround and the older guys
(05:13):
laughing and giggling about it,all the way up seven years old
was when they put me in, I gotin and started getting in
trouble.
They started putting me in atherapy at seven.
I got in a lot of trouble at 13.
They, then I was my first timein AA, never was able to
successfully not have alcohol asa daily part of my life.
(05:33):
I would go three, four months,something would happen and then
right back into it.
Not until I turned 30.
I was 39 or 40 somewhere inthere.
I don't know the exact dates.
I could go back and probablyfind them.
I was diagnosed with liverdisease, alcohol related liver
disease, and my doctor gave metwo years.
So, that's when it became timeto really get serious about it.
(05:57):
And that started, you know, I'llbe 50 in May.
So, and it's been a struggle,you know, the first several
years were a big struggle, lotsof relapses, lots of failure.
Um, you know, even with the guysof, you know, you're going to
die, was still wildlychallenging.
It would lead to, you know, thetraditional paths led me to
(06:20):
constant relapses, constantanger, constant, not.
Feeling good about myself.
And until I started looking atdifferent approaches and maybe
not even different approaches,just framed differently, um,
that I start really making somebig changes.
And the book reclaimed sobriety.
Where I think it, it fills two,two really big gaps and two
(06:42):
very, very wonderful programs.
Smart recovery.
I love smart recovery.
I think it's a great program,but they don't, they by no means
promote, um, moderation, butthey accept moderation.
Right.
And that's something that'sgoing to work for me.
Uh, it took me a long time tofigure that out and a, this
whole concept of giving it overto somebody else, never.
(07:03):
Never sat right to me.
regardless of whoever'sreligious beliefs or anything, I
believe that I have to beempowered to, to carve my own
path and do my own thing and.
I think that mindset of that,it's, that it's not me just
leads me back to this relapsemoment all the time.
It's this constant thing.
And, I was tired, very tired ofhaving panic attacks, driving
(07:26):
past the gas station or walkinginto the liquor aisle at the
grocery store and freezing.
So, I had to take a differentapproach.
Wow.
Well, I commend you on that.
And there's so much, there's somany nuggets that I want to
start with.
And one, Holy mackerel.
Let's dive back to the 1970s.
All I heard were like bellsgoing off when you're talking
(07:47):
about Oh, go get me a beer.
Go grab me a glass of wine thatwas such a seventies thing.
That was such a seventies thingto like also change the channel.
Right.
While you're up, grab me a beer.
Right.
Explain just the mindset of thedynamics of how that sets up a
child for possibly going down anot great road.
(08:09):
Okay.
so, you know, a little moreinsight to my childhood.
it was obviously a bit rough andtumble the neighborhood that I
grew up in.
There was literally, agentlemen's two gentlemen's club
within walking distance.
By the age of, you know, seven,eight years old, I could, sneak
out and wipe the windows andpeek in at that.
So, for me, it's what made you aman.
(08:32):
Like, uh, you know, drink abeer, puts hair on your chest,
you know, all of those thingswhere this is what men do.
They work a day, they get off,they sit on the driveway, they
open the garage door, they mightstart a bonfire and a couple
neighbors come over andwhoever's driveway you're at.
We there until we drink them outof beer that night.
Everybody passes out and goes tobed.
And next night, another garagedoor opens and that's where
(08:53):
you're at.
So that was my life.
And I associated, not justalcohol with being a man, but
with the more you can drink andif you can stay up longer than
all the other guys, then you'rethe.
Then you're the strongest man.
You're the toughest man.
And it's just a weird, weirdmindset.
It was a weird mindset, but thisis so 1970s.
(09:15):
I feel like I should go put onplaid pants.
Absolutely.
So that's just what it was.
And then, after that, it becamepart of who I was like.
Nobody in my life even had metme not drinking like nobody, I
can remember, being like 17 or18 years old and, I'd already
(09:36):
been arrested multiple timesand, I've been through AA and
all these things that my motherwould still say, well, Kenny
doesn't drink, uh, you know, andshe was just dumped on it and it
was just always drunk.
I was Vodka and Kool Aid and,going to in my thermos in fourth
grade, right?
Oh my gosh We used to putalcohol in hairspray bottles in
high school and no one questionsspraying hairspray into your
(10:00):
mouth Yeah, crazy crazy Yeah,look at what we've been through
my gosh.
What I love about your story isthat you talk about breaking the
mold.
Why traditional recoveryprograms don't work for
everybody.
And I think that's so importantbecause, like you said, nothing
(10:22):
is a one size fits all, but Ireally feel like you've hit on
some nuggets that are soimportant for people.
And I'm hoping that you can divea little deeper into that.
Yeah, those two things are thekeystones for me in the whole
thing.
Moderation had to be taken offthe plate and AA says no
moderation, right?
But that program didn't work forme because of this concept of.
(10:46):
Letting go of yourself.
And, I was not, uh, spiritualityhas always been something that's
nagging at me.
I've never been a religious man.
today I'd say I'm prettyspiritual.
For a long time I was anti allof that, right.
It was just stay away from me.
I don't want to think about it.
I just want to.
You know, get through thisbiological life the best way
that I can.
(11:06):
But now it, it plays a big partfor me.
In the gratitude piece atminimum, right?
Having gratitude for life is abit of big part for me, but I
couldn't give it up to thisunknowing being or whatever the,
whatever they're trying to tellyou to do.
I couldn't comprehend it even.
So it just didn't work for me.
(11:26):
And that being such acornerstone.
Of that program just turned meoff to it.
Right.
It was like, oh, this is alljust bogus steps go through and
blah, blah, blah.
so what I truly believe thatthis game is, and I don't think
this.
And just addiction.
I think it in every part is youneed a big toolbox in life and
(11:50):
no set of tools are going towork the same for every person.
And shoot, sometimes the sametool given to you, just, just
given to you by somebody elseworks better because it might be
the same tool, but it was frameda different way for you.
And.
So that's what I try to do isjust give permission to people
to try things.
If it works for you, it works.
(12:11):
It's not wrong.
You know, the, I hear all thetime, people like, well, you
can't do it that way, or youhave to do it this way, or this
is the only way that it works.
And that's just such bull.
It doesn't, you know, we're alldifferent.
We all have.
obscene amounts of variablesbehind us.
And, so I just think we need abig toolbox and when things come
(12:32):
up, have the ability to pull outthe right tool or try a tool and
throw it back and try anotherone and keep trying tools until,
you know, you at least get pastthat, that moment in life.
I think that's excellent advice.
May I ask in your belief system,do you believe that addiction,
whether it's alcoholism oranything else, whether that is a
(12:53):
disease or whether that is plainand simple, just an addiction.
I think it's both, anybody thathas wanted to not do something
with every bit of their being,but for some reason they keep
doing the action.
They can't, it's souncomprehendable now to look
(13:15):
back and watch myself literallysaying you shouldn't be doing
this.
You shouldn't be doing this allthe way up until the moment of
doing it.
And then just saying, Oh, screwit.
I don't care anymore.
Is such a bizarre thing thatthis chemical has this thing
over you and going throughwithdrawals a few times.
(13:35):
I mean, there's definitely.
a physical component to theaddiction with alcohol and
opioids.
I've been fortunate enough thatI've only had to go through
alcohol withdrawals a handful oftimes and I had to go through,
the Xanax withdrawals, whichwere pretty bad as well.
So there's definitely, there'smedical stuff there, right?
(13:59):
I'm not a doctor, so I don'tknow, um, you know, disease You
know, all that stuff.
But once you pass that it'smindset and I think it's a lack
of self love.
And I think it's that part ofthe how I did all this part of
my research was I went through abunch of coaching programs and I
(14:21):
became a coach in a lot ofdifferent ways.
And I did a lot of studying andneurodivergency and
neurotransmission and high flowcoaching.
I've got my high flow coachingcertificate.
Is, you know, just you'vecreated an environment in your
brain that just has so manydopamine receptors and not
filling those dopamine receptorsis painful, it hurts, right, and
(14:46):
your body will take over andfill those dopamine receptors
somehow, if you can't getcontrol of it.
And that's what I truly believeit is.
I think that was a really goodexplanation.
You know, as you're saying, it'sa little bit of everything just
based on a chemical reactionwithin the body.
It just, absolutely.
(15:08):
What do you feel have been yourbiggest challenges along your
road to sobriety?
My biggest challenge is, I'lltalk about today, right?
Cause there's challengesthroughout the whole project.
I am wildly confident in mysobriety.
At the moment, right?
I've now been through, everypossible scenario in life that
(15:33):
you can deal with.
I've had loss and all thosethings.
And alcohol doesn't evenpercolate in my mind in those
moments.
So, I think I'm well past that,but, so most difficult time for
in the process to get tosobriety, the big hump for me
was pause post acute withdrawalsyndrome.
I think if you're in that, ifyou've been diagnosed with
pause.
(15:54):
Reclaim sobriety is an amazingbook for you.
I think there's a ton of toolsin there to help you get through
that specific part of life.
If you, if you have to gothrough it, it's tough blasts.
For me, it was about eightmonths.
According to the doctors, it canbe a couple of months.
It could be a couple of weeks.
It can be a couple of years.
So that one's really, reallychallenging.
But today it's my relationshipswith the people that are still
(16:17):
in my life that were very closeto me.
Some of them have, you know,still a little bit of denial of
parts of the relationship.
The most challenging ones are mywife and my daughter and dealing
with the trauma that I createdfor them and their lives,
regardless of how much bettertheir lives were than mine.
I created trauma in their livesand that's really hard.
(16:39):
You know, I can see why peoplejust pull the rip cord and start
a whole new life and get awayfrom all of that.
But, those relationships areimportant to me and it's worth
the work to get, you know, overthat.
So, just because the alcohol isgone and that problem is gone
doesn't mean there wasn't anyother problems.
You're probably, probably usingthat for, to overcome them.
(17:00):
And, communicating to them in away that doesn't blame them for
your drinking, but helps themunderstand part of the reasons
you were doing it potentiallyis, is a, it's a landmine of
communication issues, that itpersists, absolutely.
I resonate a lot.
Based on how I grew up in thehousehold I was in.
So I totally hear what you'resaying.
I couldn't not ask then what aresome of the blessings that have
(17:24):
come out of your sobriety?
Oh, everything.
Absolutely everything.
So, you know, through, throughthis process and for me, One of
the therapies that I think wasprobably detrimental in my
recovery was EMDR therapy, whichis imidazole desensitization.
And I don't know if it's that orthe sobriety or what it is, but,
(17:44):
before sobriety, before I couldstand up and not have alcohol as
this literal, You know, every,you know, on a good day, I could
go five or 10 minutes withoutsomething in my head, like
clicking.
Now I go days, weeks, months,unless I'm doing these podcasts.
Oh, stop now.
Come on.
(18:05):
I was able to, find gratitudefor life and I didn't have it
before.
I didn't care.
I did not.
There was not an, an ounce of mybody that cared if I woke up the
next day or not, it just didn'tmatter to me at all.
Like this was just the thingthat I was, that I was doing.
And, I didn't care about mylife.
(18:27):
And today I care, I mean, Everysingle thing I could think of is
just a blessing.
I mean, we're sitting here whereI don't even know what state
you're in.
You might not even be anAmerican.
We're talking and having thisreally cool conversation about
how we grew up and findingsimilarities.
That's amazing.
The sun comes out and the moon'sout.
And, you know, all of thosethings are just.
(18:48):
I was able to find joy for lifeand the very fundamentals of
what life brings to you.
And I never, I didn't ever havethat.
So, you know, it's the closestthing to being born again that I
could think of.
Oh, that's a great way to alignthat.
I like that, which brings you toa whole other place from being
(19:10):
not understanding a higherpower, not wanting to deal with
a higher power, just notresonating with it, to now
saying those words.
That's very powerful.
Yes.
Incredibly powerful.
So you, not only, you havewritten a book.
You've gone down all of thesecoachings, you're very
successful in being anentrepreneur, which being an
(19:33):
entrepreneur is very challengingin and of itself, let alone
adding in, you know, walkingyour road to sobriety as well.
How do you balance both?
Because both are incrediblychallenging.
So entrepreneurship is justsomething that I, it's part of
who I am and I'm balancingentrepreneurship and sobriety
together or just all thedifferent things?
(19:53):
Is All the different things,right?
Because we've got stress, we'vegot leadership coming in, we
have, there's a lot that goesinto both and how do you keep
them copacetic so that you'renot falling off your sobriety
beautiful road?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I stay very busy.
And I'll share a couple trickson how I.
(20:16):
And how I do that.
So my, my, my days are just somuch fun that I don't know.
I mean, I wake up in the morningand I come to the data center
and I work in the data centerMonday through Friday, nine to
five.
And I absolutely love it.
Right.
It's, it's great.
It's, I've got all thesecomputers and I'm always solving
problems and it, you know, itkeeps me very active mentally.
(20:37):
After that I leave and I go toour boxing school and I hang out
with the kids.
And I trained them for a coupleof hours and me and my wife do
that together.
Most nights.
And we get home about eight ornine o'clock and we hang out, we
do dinner and play games and goto bed.
So, you know, that's an average,that's just the total average
day for me.
On the weekends, we very bigsupporters of amateur boxing.
(20:58):
We own St.
Louis's largest boxing school.
So we go to a lot of thoseevents and we hang out, I get to
talk to.
You know, I'm, I'm going to afight this weekend and Holyfield
and Spinks are going to bethere.
Right.
And, and I get to announce it.
So it's like, I get to play withall these great things.
And I talk about, Bashir in mybook and he says, you know, act
(21:20):
on your most passionate desiresat all times with no expectation
of the outcome.
And I think that is just such abeautiful way to live.
And I'm so fortunate to be ableto have adopted that and you
know, it feeds my family.
So how Much luckier could I get?
How cool this weekend soundslike so much fun.
I want to come.
(21:41):
It's a totally free event in St.
Louis.
So, yeah, it's for differentlyabled kids.
So I have a, an autistic boythat's on our boxing team.
And so this is an event fordifferently abled, kids to
compete in the sport of boxing,which is just so much fun.
That's incredible.
Oh, that sounds so amazing andso heartfelt.
I love that you're doing that.
(22:03):
It's so much fun.
Oh my gosh, yes, right?
In your book, Reclaim Sobriety,12 Rounds of Sobriety, you write
it's not just a memoir, it's aguide for anyone looking to take
control of their life, whetherthey're battling addiction,
struggling in their career, orseeking to understand the
dynamics of mental toughness.
What is one thing that you wouldlike readers to walk away with
(22:26):
from your book?
I think the biggest thing thatthey can walk away with.
I believe that if you lookwithin, that's where you'll find
the answers.
I truly believe that, and I hopethat they walk away with that
understanding.
If they don't walk away withthat understanding, they will
walk away with some tools that aperson has used that they can
(22:47):
probably assimilate with, right?
There's not too many drunkennight stories that, that you
have, that I don't have also,right.
I've seen it all from births todeaths when I was drunk.
So, I've been through all of itand, you know, I tried to
assimilate as much as I can givethe tools that I use for myself
(23:08):
on my boxing team to change yourmindset and, empower yourself
to.
to do the hard work.
So I think the tools is what Iwant them to have or tool new
tools that they don't havetoday.
And it might just be one, justone stupid little turn that they
got to make in their formulathat brings them to join
(23:30):
happiness.
So, that's what I'm really justtrying to share.
Yeah, that's incredible.
What piece of advice would yougive to a listener who is
currently struggling with theidea of sobriety so in my mind,
that is a very long rope ofstruggling with sobriety, you
know, from the very beginning tothe end.
I've never had.
(23:53):
For AA, you have to acknowledgethat you're an alcoholic.
I never had that problem.
I always knew I was analcoholic.
I celebrated it.
I put it on a pedestal, right?
It was my, it was one of thetrophies that I had in life.
So I had to break down thatrelationship with alcohol for
myself.
So if there's one thing that Iwant people to get is that if,
(24:15):
if I can quit, anybody can quit,that's definitely true.
I was, you know, I would fightyou for my bottle.
Happily, right?
Not only would I fight you, Iwould try to get you to fight.
I would try to get you to takeit from me so I could fight you.
That's just the kind of personthat I was.
And, it was my best friend, myeverything in my life to me.
(24:36):
And I had to completely severthat relationship.
So I think it doesn't matterwhere you're at is understanding
your relationship with thesubstance itself or the mindset
that you have about that atthose activities.
and start changing thatnarrative.
And if you can't change thatnarrative, I don't know that you
(24:56):
have a possibility for success.
If someone's ready to take thenext step in sobriety, they've
resonated with everything thatyou're saying today.
What do you tell them to do?
They need a step now.
What do you tell them to do?
Obviously, I'm going to say buythe book Proclaimed Sobriety.
It's 99 cents for the e book.
(25:18):
but get in a group.
Get as fast as possible.
Get in a group.
Doesn't matter, which one it is.
If it's AA and you can't standthe religious stuff, just try
to, just try to bypass it.
If you got a smart recoverygroup in your area, I highly
recommend smart recovery groups.
it's a huge game changer for me.
I know they have them zoommeetings as well.
(25:38):
I could never really get intothose.
And I also highly recommendrecovery Dharma.
There's a book, it's aboutBuddhism and suffering and,
there's a life after sufferingand understanding those things.
Just start looking for help.
It's out there.
It is so out there.
If you.
Want help?
It's out there for you.
I'm not sure you have to lookwithin to get there.
(25:59):
I truly believe that.
But I'm also not sure that youcan do it out of community.
It'd be very hard.
I think it would be very, veryhard to do without some kind of
community.
I would agree with that.
So taking a full circle now, howis your health today?
Great.
Um, I mean, I still carry a fewextra pounds, and that's okay.
(26:19):
But, you know, I do I probablytrained four or five hours of
boxing classes a week.
Not nearly as intense as I usedto, but it's still a whole lot
of fun.
I have zero signs of liverdamage at the moment.
So, you know, it went from soridiculous, after my diagnosis,
liver disease, I was able to getnine months, 10, maybe a year
(26:42):
without drinking.
My liver panels were down,right?
Way down, uh, below 40 andactually this is perfect, right?
This is, this is where you needto be.
And I convinced them to let mestart drinking again.
Right.
This is one of my relapses.
It's like, if you can do one ortwo a day, you know, one or two
at dinner every once in a while,go ahead.
Don't do more than three a week.
You know, that turned into threea day, which turned into 20 a
(27:03):
day.
So I started.
going to get blood work from adifferent panel every week to
see how much I could drink forthe week.
Wow.
And then that got me to myregular doctor where he was,
he's like, Oh, something's,something's not right here.
So he was doing blood work everyquarter on me.
But I was doing my own bloodwork every couple of weeks, to
kind of manage my own bloodcounts and my liver counts,
(27:27):
which is just horrible.
Don't don't do that.
It's bad.
But now I've not, I do my livercounts once a year with my chest
x rays and everything else.
And we're in good flying shape.
There's no signs of liverdisease at the time at this
time.
So that's amazing.
Congratulations.
And so that's possible.
I mean, I was, my counts were inthe nine hundreds and, at the
(27:49):
thousands, it's not recoverable.
So there's a point and checkthem, go to the doctor and check
your liver if you drink everyday.
That's great advice.
And so what has it been about 10years now since you've had that
diagnosis?
Yeah, 10 years ago, I got thediagnosis, roughly about 10
years ago.
The liver disease diagnosis,that was a couple, a couple of
(28:10):
really, really rough years.
Those first couple of years werevery, very challenging.
I lost.
I lost one of my mentors duringthat time.
I became the president of thecompany that I'm at now, which
really, you know, a whole ton ofnew challenges that, that you
think, you know, as a vicepresident, but you don't know
until you're the president.
Right.
Right.
(28:30):
Well, congratulations on yourjourney within.
Your journey with your health,your mindset, your body, and
coming into alignment, body,mind, and spirit.
Thank you.
Yeah, I thank you so much foryour vulnerability and sharing
your journey and all of the, theinteresting details.
(28:50):
Because being so candid, I feelis what people really need to
hear and that's what they reallyresonate with.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
it's not always easy, right?
but as a coach, it's requiredand that I think that
assimilation and knowing that,um, you know, other people have
been where you're at is wildlyimportant.
(29:13):
Absolutely.
So if I can be, if I've takenall the negatives, things that
have happened because of that,if I can turn it into something
positive.
You know, that's something thatI would, highly recommend
anybody to do.
That's been through achallenging time in their life.
Right.
Uh, absolutely.
Share the story so other peoplecan have it here and give them
the tools that you used, right?
(29:34):
This is our job now, as we ageis to give tools to the younger
generation and find, find newand creative ways that they can
be, that they can accept them.
Just having the tools.
isn't enough, but having them ina format that's, that it's okay
for them to accept them isreally important.
Yes.
And we have a lot of knowledgecoming from the 1970s.
It was a really, gosh, you justlike totally like took me so to
(29:59):
so many different places.
Oh my goodness.
I appreciate it.
Ken, will you share with ouramazing community where they can
best contact you and get intouch and grab a copy of your
book?
Yeah.
If you want to learn more aboutme, the easiest way to do that
is go to kencox.
com, K E N C O B X.
com.
reclaim sobriety.
com is the book where you canjust look up reclaim sobriety on
(30:21):
Amazon.
It, it was the number one newrelease and multiple categories.
The one that I'm most.
excited about is teen addiction.
It hit a pretty big popularityhit in there, which was not
intended.
But I couldn't be more excitedabout that as a teenager that
went through addiction, youknow, at that time, it, I'm
(30:43):
just, I couldn't be more happy,about that if I can help a kid
that's going through it.
Yeah.
That's incredibly powerful.
I don't need to do anything elsewith my life.
Congratulations on that.
That's incredible.
Well, as we close out the showtoday, Ken, what is one last
piece of inspiration or perhapsadvice that you'd like to leave
with us?
(31:04):
Piece of advice, you just get towork, right?
Stop stalling, get to work.
One of the best pieces of advicethat somebody gave me and it
wasn't a piece of advice.
They told me, Ken, you're shortto the point and somewhat
abrasive.
That's the approach I took inthe book.
And I think that's the approachthat we need to take with
ourselves when we're dealingwith the hard, you know, hard
truths about things.
So get to work, and just don'tbeat around the bush.
(31:28):
Got to do the work, that isgreat advice.
And I think that's so important.
We need to cut the fat out andjust go right in for it.
And that's what people needthese days.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Well, all of Ken's informationwill be over in the show notes
at jenniferpilates.
com.
Ken thank you again so much forbeing here.
this has been a joy andeducational insights, road down
(31:50):
memory lane, for good andinteresting thoughts as well.
Most importantly, I want to sayso much for being here.
Congratulations on the successof your book and congratulations
on your success of now living ahealthy, happy, empowered within
life.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much, Jennifer.
I had a blast talking with youtoday.
You're so welcome.
Well, as we say, everyone, untilnext time, may you live an
(32:13):
empowered life from within.
Thank you so much for tuning into another episode.
Please remember to rate, review,and subscribe to Empowered
Within with Jennifer Pilates.
Your feedback is important.
It helps me to connect with youand gives me insight into who
(32:34):
you are and what you're enjoyingabout the show.
For today's show notes anddiscount codes from today's
sponsors, head over tojenniferpilates.
com.
Until next time, may you live anempowered life from within.
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