January 27, 2025 • 46 mins
What if the state of a restaurant's bathroom really does mirror the kitchen's hygiene? Join us on the Empty Nest Quest as we kick off 2025 with some unexpected bathroom humor and pivot to the challenges life has thrown our way, reminding us to embrace grace and flexibility. As we set our intentions for the new year, we suggest aligning our monthly goals with the seasons, allowing us to flow naturally through the year's changes. We also tease some playful and serious insights on what’s "in and out" for us this year, inviting you to explore life’s ebbs and flows alongside us.
Life transitions are never easy, especially when grappling with grief and the emotional complexities of aging parents. We share our personal stories, highlighting the unique position of being an only child facing these challenges. The sudden loss of a dear friend prompts a reflection on mortality and the warm embrace of cultural traditions like the Mexican Day of the Dead, which honors our ancestors. Mixed emotions naturally come with watching our children grow and leave the nest, but together we acknowledge these transitions, finding strength and a sense of community amidst the changes.
Embracing personal change can be both liberating and challenging. We dive into hair transformations, digital detoxing, and the joy of handwritten notes, offering tips to cut down on screen time and organize life’s little digital chaos. Our adventures in candle making provide a whimsical escape from the seriousness of business talk, while concerns over road safety and maintaining a gluten-free diet add real-world context to our discussion. As we share anecdotes from our morning routines and the art of letting go, we remind ourselves and our listeners that embracing change is part of the journey through the empty nest phase, celebrating growth and newfound freedom.
We want to hear from you! Reach out to us on socials or at emptynestquestpod@gmail.com to share how our conversations are landing with you! xo-Melynda and Jennifer
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Welcome to the Empty Nest Quest, the podcast where we
redefine midlife and embracethe journey ahead.
Join your hosts, jennifer andMelinda, as we share inspiring
stories, helpful hints,entrepreneurial advice and tips
that will have you thriving notjust surviving, during this
transformative time of your life.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Whether you're approaching the empty nest phase
or already navigating it, we'rehere to support you every step
of the way.
Let's embark on this questtogether.
This is a glamorous thing to do.
It's out of their mind.
Scrub somebody else's piss offthe toilet.
Scrub somebody else's piss offthe toilet.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So that's what happens when you hit record
while Jennifer's mid-rant.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So tell them where you just came from so we'll have
some context.
I came from Alumni Cookie Doughand thought I was going to be
there for about 30 minutes and Iended up being there for about
three hours but people werecrazy about cookie day today and
that was a good thing, but yeah, it was a little wackadoodle.
And then the last thing what Iwas saying is the last thing
that I did before I left wasreally made the mistake of going
(01:18):
into the bathroom, because youknow, of course I can't leave
the bathroom unless it isshining clean and thank the Lord
so scrubbed the toilet and umthe you know sink.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
So and that's fun to do in a public restroom, oh yeah
.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Scrubbing a stranger's TT off the toilet is
like dreamy.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, yeah, and I thought she was going to come
over here, smelling like youknow, cookies and cream.
Like something delicious, I mayhave before I went into the
bathroom.
She just smells like her cuteperfume.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
But I am always under the and I believe this.
I believe that a restaurant'sbathroom is an indication of
what the kitchen is like.
So if the bathroom is clean,Stop right now.
Oh, it's a.
Is this a true correlation?
Absolutely 100%.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Well then, I can't go eat at half the places we go
anymore.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I'm telling you, it is the way their bathroom looks,
is how their kitchen looks,that you can't see.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Well, okay, she's speechless.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
but I believe that.
I believe that, and if you lookat health scores, it is.
It is true.
It is true.
It is easy to keep the front ofthe house clean.
It is true, it is true.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
It is easy to keep the front of the house clean.
Athens, georgia where are weabout to start?
Send me?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
where it is very true to me.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I mean, I just think that no, I know I believe you
and I think that is why so manyplaces have been X'd off my list
in town and I'm not, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Tony Shade.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, that's on my ins and outs.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I think bathrooms are very important wow, okay so
yeah, but this is our firstepisode back this year 2025.
It's going to be an amazingyear.
It's been a little bumpy, notgonna lie.
That's why this is the firstepisode that we're putting out
the last.
Monday of the month.
This was was not intentional.
We were very much intending toput out an episode a lot earlier
(03:27):
than this, but life happens andthat's just the way it goes.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
So but that's why we're having fun doing it
together.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
We just roll and we give each other grace, right?
You know, we understand that wehave families, we have
businesses.
Um, we have a life, we have afamily, aging parents and things
happen, so yeah, but happy newyear, happy new year, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, I feel like we need to.
Maybe just 2025 feels like itmight be one of those years
where we need to just say, likehappy new month at the beginning
of every month and giveourselves a fresh, like restart.
We don't have to take thisclangy bracelet off.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Do you hear it?
It's like jingling.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
They may hear it more than I do.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah, I agree, I feel like just those little
milestones and that a new yearyou know the new year's goals
per se, that people wait untilthe new year, I think maybe in
2025, it just needs to be amonthly thing.
Yeah, like you know, giveyourself some grace and
forgiveness and realize thatthings happen.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
And I heard somewhere years ago cause you know all my
yoga stuff, but that reallyit's nice to let your goals kind
of match the season we're in,and so January you're still.
This is still like peakhibernation.
Winter is supposed to get darkearly, You're supposed to be
tired, You're at night, and sohave your goals positioned
(04:53):
during the winter to match thewinter and then when you want to
have those like kind of springy, something new, getting us
things started, goal like dothat and, you know, align that
with spring.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
So, anyway, that helps me.
That helps me.
Yeah, definitely.
So well, we're going to startwith just kind of catching up a
little bit, and then thisepisode is going to be the ins
and outs our ins and outs what'sin for us in 2025 and what is
out.
We're putting on the backburner, putting it in the past.
(05:29):
What are we going to put in theput in the rear view mirror?
So, and we haven't discussedthis, so I have no idea what
Melinda's going to say, if it'sgoing to be serious or funny.
Some of mine are serious andthen some of mine are like funny
.
Some of mine are serious andthen some of mine are like I
guess a little funny, but I amserious about them.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
We know you are and y'all.
I do want y'all to know thatlast time Jennifer and I got
together.
So if y'all have been listening, you know that during the
holiday she was like really on a.
She had a stance about peoplethat left their pumpkins out
after Halloween and so I justkind of forgot we meet in my
basement and I kind of justforgot that my whole basement
was totally tricked out forChristmas and that I was like
(06:09):
halfway finished decorating.
And it's like fully overhalfway through January and
Jennifer walks in my house andit's still got like a full
decorated tree and I was like,and you know as, as you know
what, as long as it's inside.
Yeah, she didn't call my HOA.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
There are no lights hanging up outside, there's no
Grinches hanging from a window,and I'd like to say that that's
not something I look at everyday when I drive in my
neighborhood, but it is.
I still see the Grinch.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
And it drives me crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
That's hilarious.
So you know, oh gosh, that thatmight be on the outlist.
But one thing I do want tobring up that we are going to
plan out is a series onmenopause, on hormone
replacement therapy.
That is going to be, I wouldsay, probably like what?
A six week series on that.
That's really something we'regoing to dive deep into this
(07:16):
year.
It's very much a hot topic withhot, hot flashes.
There is a hot topic with hotflashes melinda's already.
She's already shedded a umlayer.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
She may start shed more layers, but anyway.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So that's something.
So just so y'all are aware,hopefully you can spread the
word and um, because I thinkit's gonna be great.
We're gonna have um interviewsand just kind of share our
experiences as well.
So I I'm excited for it yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I think I think that it has been key for me to have
so much support and differentkinds of support and, yes,
tuning into things like um, ourpodcast and other podcasts like
this.
It has been really helpful forme, so we hope that we can be
that for y'all.
So definitely.
But what you been up to besidescleaning toilets?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Oh my gosh, it's just .
You know it's been, theholidays were all good, got to
be with family and, but you knowlike we hit on.
You know our parents aregetting older and that's hard um
to see them go throughdifferent seasons of their lives
(08:31):
.
So, um, and I'm an only childand so it's truly, I mean it's
me and look, I mean thankgoodness for you know, mike,
he's so helpful but, um, hisparents are aging as well.
We're we feel so blessed tohave them, though there are so
many.
We honestly, we were talkingabout this the other day we were
like we cannot think of onefriend, like really close friend
(08:54):
, that we have that has bothparents and we just feel really
blessed that we have them.
So, but, yeah, it's, it'schallenging.
And then I had one of a dearfriend of mine passed away
unexpectedly.
She was only 55 and just themost vivacious, energetic person
(09:19):
you know one of.
She was just an amazing person.
So that was a very, very toughstart to the year, for sure,
thank you.
So it was.
It kind of makes you reset anddefinitely puts a perspective on
things.
And I don't know, it's just, Iguess it's hard.
(09:42):
You know you always questionand I don't know it's just, I
guess it's hard, you know youalways question and but it's not
not our, it's not our place toquestion even though it's
something very natural that wedo.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
But you know it's not meant to be understood, I guess
, when something like thathappens, and it's just so hard
because I feel like we don'thave, because I think the US
Cause I feel like we don't havebecause I think the U?
S is such like a melting pot.
I don't think culturally wehave kind of agreed upon rituals
and ways to process grief anddeath.
(10:15):
Like I feel like we try to tieit up and kind of make it pretty
and move people along, and Ithink that's truly not out of
cynicism, I think it's out ofnot knowing what to do.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
You just don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah, and I feel like we could really learn a lot
from cultures that really taketime to, like I love in Mexican
culture.
I mean, they really do abeautiful job of celebrating
their ancestors that they'velost.
You know, every year the day ofthe dead and then and then the
whole ritual that I've witnessedof the funeral and everything
(10:50):
it's.
it's really just kind of a partof and you keep talking about
those people and celebratingthem and it's okay to bring
their, it's encouraged to bringtheir name up all the time right
to talk about how they'recarrying forward, and I feel
like that's becoming like.
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I feel like we're all learning that more right and
you realize those that aregrieving want to hear the person
saying when we interviewedkathy um last year, you know
she's it makes me happy whenpeople bring up Teenie's name.
I want to hear her name andhear how she is still having an
impact on people's lives.
So I have made it a point ofthat.
(11:26):
I try to say the person's name,say their name, say their name,
you know, and that's how theycan live on.
So but yeah, so that that waskind of a hard start to the year
, but I'm just trying to pushthrough and think about what she
would want me to do, you knowwhat, how she would want me to
(11:46):
continue on.
So that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
So, yeah, that's, that's so hard.
Yeah, we have, we've same we've.
We've seen our family, we'vegotten to see all the family and
that was good, and went toSouth Georgia to see my parents,
and so you know hunting andfour-wheeling and all that stuff
, all that South Georgia stuff,all that South.
Georgia stuff.
And then we did also have afriend that passed that we went
(12:17):
to her funeral.
She passed before Christmas andthen we went to her funeral.
They did her celebration andservice in January, early
January Right, but it was reallybeautiful, just it was so
pretty and just so honoring.
Like all of her children spoke.
She was also like our age, so,yeah, it was just hard and but
(12:39):
it, like you said, it justbrought a lot of perspective and
just makes you see howimportant it is to have like
good community around you and itdefinitely brought a lot to
light.
And so that, might you know, Ifeel like in later this year,
doing a little bit of it mightnot necessarily be a series, but
(12:59):
we certainly will do somethingand I feel like to address like
grief and just in this season,because we really are kind of in
that gap of, like our, you know, the generations before us that
we're still loving Right, right, care so much for that you know
are in their later years andthen we're also still parenting
these young Right, well, and Ithink that can be part of the
(13:20):
grief process too.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
You know the grieving your children leaving I mean,
even though they're leaving thenest and they're growing up it's
.
You know, sometimes it is anexciting adventure that they're
on but at the same time, even ifit is a really positive thing
that's happening, you stillgrieve them not being there.
You know what does that seasonlook like the first holiday, the
(13:45):
first birthday where your childisn't there.
You know it's just and grievingthat.
Well, you're saying goodbye to achapter you know, like every
time and I think when they werein school the school kind of
helped us right.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
They graduate from kindergarten, they graduate from
fifth grade and have these likerituals and you kind of go
through it with all the otherparents and so now this is a
little different right.
It's like um, we're not in thatbecause we're not in every
kid's kind of doing their ownthing.
They're well it happens atdifferent times.
Yes, you know yes and and you'redoing it a little less in
community.
Right they're off, you know, inan apprenticeship for a job or
(14:25):
in college or right alreadymoved out.
So it's a little different yeahso we, I think we need to come
together.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I think that's a great plan, though, to do that
so this, let's do so this is onour ins and outs.
Do you want to start?
And it's funny when I wasmaking my list I was thinking
well, for every out I could makean in.
That's what I.
You know you did that.
How'd you do?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
it.
I didn't do that, oh okay, butthat's fine, I like that.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
But I figured I would touch on you know whatever.
So you want to go first.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Okay, well, first of all, if you're watching, which
you know where I didn't do, bythe way, apologies y'all my job
to get all the episodes onYouTube and I think I got half
of them on there.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
So, in this, year'm gonna get all the episodes on
youtube is that an n?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
yes, that's an n out.
Is melinda being a slacker forthe podcast?
Is that really?
one of your no, no I was likereally, no, you are not a
slacker.
No, not really.
I mean yes, I did not get themall but anyway and what I was
going to say.
Ian is doing whatever the heckyou want with your hair, and I
(15:39):
told Jennifer I'm trying to getbrave enough to let my gray grow
out.
I'm not there yet, clearlybecause I got my hair colored
today.
But I also got it whacked offso that, in case I get brave
enough to start letting the graygrow out that there won't be as
much of it.
That's a good as much of it sogood.
(15:59):
So I thought that Jennifer andI should chronicle it and do it
together on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And she said absolutely not.
No, no, no, no.
I was actually just sharingwith Melinda a new product that
I have, that you actually.
It's this little container ofpowder and you just go.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
And it looks so good.
It's really.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
I'm trying not to get my hair done as much because I
feel like it's damaging it.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
So there's also.
Have you seen, I got, I got youknow.
I think I saw it on TikTok.
I got one of the ones.
It's like a pencil so that whenyou pull your hair back.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It gets all these that are like right in the front
.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
And that because sometimes the powdery thing I
have doesn't get that much.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
But mine is not mine is like a.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Mine looks almost like a blush brush.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yours is like a puff, that's like a little.
Yeah, it's a puff, I like that.
I like that, I like it.
I think we're going to have toshare those with each other.
Yeah, we'll have to share.
Well, maybe we'll put them on,and then I do have the spray too
, but the spray just wears out.
Anyway, it's hard being blonde.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And brunette.
It's hard turning gray.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
It's hard turning gray it is Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
So what are okay?
Let's see you know, did you,did you do one I?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
think I did.
Did I about my hair?
Oh, is that your hair?
Yeah, okay, um, okay, one of myouts is aimless scrolling good,
meet I.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
It was that one of yours too.
Well, I did it.
I said I'm gonna stops, I'mgonna.
My like kind of rule for myselfis I'm going to try to be like
for sure, for sure, off my phoneby 10.
Okay, it probably should beearlier, but it's going to be 10
.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
And I'm, I think I'm going to remove some apps from
my phone and only be able to seethem on my computer.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yep, have you looked into um your?
Like you can look into screentime.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, let's don't talk about that, okay, it's bad.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
It is bad, and I don't think I'm going to do that
, because I don't want to bethat.
I tend to be, so, um, I divetoo deep, and so it's just too
much.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
And then you get too hard on yourself and then you
just abandon the whole thing.
But I'm going to cut down on umaimless scrolling.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
But I'm going to cut down on aimless scrolling.
I love it, and I put next tothat screenshotting every recipe
.
What is wrong with me?
Okay?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Okay, well, let me tell you what I've been doing,
please share I have a life hack.
So go in your photos whateverday it is Okay and search like
today, um, today's date okay.
And then hit search and itpulls up all the photos you have
in your phone that are taggedthat date ever and then you can
(18:47):
just clean out one day at a time.
So I'm trying to make it thelast thing I do on my phone at
night I do it.
I do it at nine, I have an alarmand it's fun because you get
the little refresh of like yourcute little babies in there.
Whatever, you know, howeverlong ago our phone started, and
then me too, with the daggumscreenshot.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Oh, my gosh.
What is wrong with me?
I mean, I mean every recipeexercise, I'm like what?
Speaker 2 (19:15):
the heck.
What was I thinking?
I deleted 10 pictures of thiswoman's face the other night
because I had screenshot everyone of her stories.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I go back and I'm like what in the world?
And I never look at it again.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Well then, you know what I did.
After I started driving myselfcrazy with the screenshots, I
started filing them in my notes.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
So I also have them in my notes no I think what you
said is great and that'll be alittle daily reminder of oh my
gosh, you know, cut it out RightCause you don't want to have
more to delete, cut it out, yeahyou know, cut it out Right
Cause you don't want to havemore to delete, cut it out.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Yeah, okay, so that's my first out.
Do I do an end too Sure?
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Okay, so an end for me is handwritten notes.
Oh, I love it.
Yes, I think we have all gottenout of that.
And when it really slapped mein my face is last year, at the
end of the year, one of my Idon't even know how she's
related to me Um distant cousins, I guess you may say, but she
(20:23):
is um much older, I think she'sin her eighties Um, she sent me
a message on Facebook and said Iwas cleaning out all of my
drawers and everything and Ifound a note from your
grandmother.
Would you like me to mail it toyou?
And I was like, oh my gosh, yes.
So she mailed me this note thatmy grandmother wrote, and I was
(20:47):
actually in the note she hadbecause we had just gone to
visit her.
So she said Jennifer is stilltalking about the horseback
riding.
And then she said and here'sthe recipe of the chocolate pie
I made.
So there's a little recipe cardand it's in her handwriting.
No way, I love that.
So, I thought you know what Ourgeneration is not going to have
(21:09):
that hand writing the notes.
So my goal is to write at leastone handwritten note a month.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
That's not too much.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
That's not, that's perfect, and I feel like you
know, let's do it here.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
And then we'll, it'll be fun, and then we can remind
our friends, I love it, I do Iwell.
Do you have some stationery?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I, I'm like sort of one of those stationary fiends.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I always love it.
I love some stationery I do tooand I always buy a little box.
And now it's so inexpensive youcan buy little boxes and note
cards.
Yeah, I have a whole drawerfull, good.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Let's do it.
Yeah, okay, let's do it.
Let's do it.
That'd be fun.
I love that idea.
So handwritten notes are in.
They are in for 25.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
I love that?
Yes, so I.
So the way I did mine was likewith an in was an out, and so I
have been listening to oh mygosh, I just forgot the title of
the book, because you know,perimenopause, it's something in
the dark by Barbara BrownTaylor.
It's about lessons of the dark,lessons in the dark, I don't
know.
Anyway she's a pastor, that isa beautiful writer and, um, she
(22:17):
just talks about, like how we'vemade darkness like unnatural
and we just keep everything youknow uber bright and whatever.
And so I'm kind of big onwintering anyway and like truly
honoring winter.
So I am trying to like haveless lights on the house at
night.
Light candles dim the lights,like just let it get dark, and
(22:39):
like whatever music's playing,like let it play quieter.
So that is my in and then theout was the screens.
So much at night so it has,it's always well, you know how
they say.
Have you ever heard somebodysay you don't really quit a
habit, you replace it with a newone.
So the only thing is is like Ivery much am like one of those
(23:00):
people when I read, I can zoneout and read for hours like a
bump on a log.
So I'm not I mean, I don't know.
I mean I do think that's better, obviously, than the scrolling,
but honest to goodness, I thinkI have probably clocked about
15 to 20 hours on my Kindle thisweekend.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Oh, gosh Of reading.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Okay, I think that's more than I used to scroll, but
anyway, I feel like, I feel likethat's a good replacement, so
anyway.
So yeah, so I've been doing.
I'm trying to have it dimmer atnight, so we'll see if it keeps
going.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I'm piggybacking a little bit on the whole candle
thing.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Mike and I are obsessed with candle making.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Y'all.
I'm obsessed with Jennifer andMike Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Did I send you a picture?
Yeah, yeah, we are.
We have got.
I mean, mike is getting likepottery out of our kitchen.
I have some donations, do?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
you really yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
We will make you a candle.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I mean, we are, are just, it's just become great and
um, we have like the chopsticksthat we crisscross and so the
wicks don't fall.
It is a thing I just.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I just want to say you were doing what we said last
season about finding fun littlehobbies, like just trying
things just for the fun of it.
Why not Just try it?
Yeah, it's so fun.
Johnny and I just aren't doingthat.
What are we doing?
I don't know.
We're going to think about whatare Johnny and I doing?
Well, we're just talking aboutwork a lot.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
It's hard when we work together.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
I am proud of y'all.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I think it's so fun it gets our mind off of.
We're so into the businessright now that it's kind of an
escape, because we'll findourselves I mean, we enjoy
talking about the business solike we'll go out to dinner or
even at home and we'll chit chatabout the business and we're
like, oh my gosh, should we dothat, should we not?
I'm like, well, we enjoy it,right.
(25:21):
So if you enjoy, it then I think, it's fine, but it's nice to
have these little outlets likecandle making that.
You know it's, we stay busy andit's just it's hilarious.
I love it, mike.
It was funny, though, becauseif you glue the bottom of the
wicks down on whatever containeryou're using, some of them give
(25:42):
you like these little stickers.
What would we found is thestickers float up if they, if
they get too bad.
So we started hot gluing themwith a hot glue gun, and Mike he
used a hot glue gun for thefirst time the other day.
He was like how does this work?
Does it just come out?
Yeah, but it was funny, that'shilarious, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
That was so fun, though I love that y'all are
figuring that out.
Did you try that oil?
Yes, it was good.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Does it smell good?
It smells really good, okay,good.
Yeah, we're doing someessential oils.
That was one of my ends.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Y'all watch Jennifer's about to start a
candle company.
Y'all watch out.
Oh my gosh, I can't do that.
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
One of my outs is this is kind of funny, but and
this was not really for me, Ijust think this is for everybody
.
Road rage, oh, people get sougly and I'm like chill out,
yeah, you know, yeah, ugly yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
And I'm like chill out, yeah, you know, yeah, I
mean they just get so like theycut in front of you and I just
think it's just so ugly it's nota good look, y'all, and it's
dangerous because we're havingall these people, I mean we're
keep having people, pedestriansget hit and with a crosswalk,
with a walk sign.
I mean slow down, slow down, isit?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
really worth.
You know, not only are yougoing to possibly kill someone,
but you would never be the sameagain If something happened.
Just slow down, five seconds isnot going to make a difference.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I think it's something.
Um, I've had some.
We've chit chatted about thiswith some friends.
I think that our men, asthey're getting older, are
getting a little crabby in thecar and they need to they need
to.
Just, maybe they need to.
I mean, maybe I need to recordthem like a yoga audio, a yoga
for driving.
This is how you feel when youdrive.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
I like that Road rage is out.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Road rage is out, you try yeah no, I like that.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Road rage is out, I like it.
Road rage is out, chill out.
Yeah, a hundred percent, that'sa good one.
Well, one of my outs was y'allI have.
I have stricken so manyrestaurants off the list that
it's like frustrating to Johnnyat this point A because of the
stupid gluten-free diet that Ihave to do because of my thyroid
junk, so that just takes out alot of places.
Because then, like, what do youlike there?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
And now that I mentioned the bathroom, forget
it.
You're right at home, right?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I mean seriously, I'm going to have like three places
left to eat.
But what I can't stand in arestaurant.
Why does your restaurant smelllike a sour flipping towel?
Why does it smell like ranknastiness?
And you're supposed to sitthere and eat and you know what
it is.
It's those no slip mats and Iknow people have to have them,
(28:23):
but I'm like, if they smell likethat, wash it or throw it away
or pour some bleach down yourdrain in the bathroom or
whatever is stinking up yourwhole restaurant that I can't
eat there anymore.
And so that is stinkyrestaurants are out.
I cannot handle it and I don'tknow why other people are
sitting there eating.
(28:43):
Can they not smell it?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Oh my gosh, I am, I am completely obsessed with
smells, so I just, I just can'tdo that.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Literally.
No, I mean, I don't want toname all the places we can't go
anymore, but there are so many.
Poor Johnny, he's like, let'sget nevermind.
You just say the three placesyou'll go.
So that's way out.
But the end is I do want to tryto be better about eating at
home.
I say this all the time, though.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
I know.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure.
I have um does it count if Ieat my kava at home?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Yeah, I think so, I think so.
Um, I have started mealprepping more.
See, you're always good at thatstuff.
And it really is pretty simpleIf you um meal prep, like all
the meat um at one time, um orjust pre-cutting things or you
(29:42):
know, just like, as soon as youget something like if there are
berries, go ahead and and washthem before you put them in the
fridge.
I don't know, I can't make itnow.
I could make it like a probablya week out for me.
Mike is real weird about old orfood, yeah, so, um, sometimes
(30:04):
I'll go in the fridge and I'mlike, uh, where is that?
You know, whatever.
And he's like, well, it was inthere for a couple of days so,
and I'm like, oh, no, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I'm like I love something that I've already made
.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
It feels like a gift, feels like a gift.
Yeah, yeah, it's, it only staysin there a couple days, which
is probably technically probablybetter, but yeah, but, um, is
it my turn or your turn?
I I think it's your turn, okay?
Um, part of this goes with that.
Self-care is in.
For me, that includes water.
(30:39):
I'm just trying to be reallymindful of getting enough water
in throughout the day.
Um, really getting.
I'm pretty good about gettingup early.
I get up at five and I don'thave to leave the house until
seven, so that allows me time tojust have that quiet time in
(31:04):
the morning for myself to I dotake care of, you know, the dog
and and all that, but just toreally sit down, have some.
We're doing 40 days to a joyfilled life.
The, the book.
Mike and I are both doing it,which has been really
interesting because we use thesame book.
(31:26):
Um, so our daughter is doing itas well.
Stephanie's done it and she'slike y'all both need your own
book because you need to writein it.
Well, what I found is it's veryinteresting because I get up
first, so I'm marking it andwe're on the same day.
Mike and I are on the same dayand so I'll mark in it.
So he kind of goes back and he'slike oh well, this was
(31:47):
important to Jennifer, you knowshe underlined this and like one
day last week was talking aboutbeing a champion, you know,
being someone's champion andreally believing in someone.
And so I wrote a little note toMike in the book because I knew
he was going to read it.
And so throughout the day hetexted me and he was like you're
(32:10):
my champion too.
And so I was like oh you know,so it's been neat to do that
together.
So I feel like, I feel like thatpart of my morning routine is
really good, like I readsomething spiritual, I pray and
just get ready for the day.
But one area that I kind of runout of time on is the, you know
(32:34):
, working out.
I'm trying to lift weights andjust do more of what you need to
do at our age and I feel likethat's kind of shoved off to the
side.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
So I'm trying to prioritize that.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
But yeah, self-care is definitely in.
Getting your yearly physical isin.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
I really with that yourself.
I just think that we need tojust autopilot schedule the next
one while you're still there.
Don't say I'll call andschedule later, because we are
keeping track of too many things.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Y'all it is.
It's too easy to put off.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Well, and you just forget, because time is so weird
and you're like what?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
It has not been a year?
Yes, it has, and so make theappointment when you're there,
but it is y'all.
Please stay on top of yourphysicals.
Getting those yearly bloodtests done are critical.
No, does it catch every singlething?
No, but it does throw up somered flags.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, and it just gives you a lot of information.
I feel like, yeah, yeah, I feellike I love that reminder.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Self-care is in make your appointment.
If you don't have a yearly umphysical appointment made, make
it today.
Yeah, don't put it off anymore.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Yeah, I love, I love that it's a good reminder.
I also, um, definitely I don'tknow if you ever do this, but
like I just kind of don'tusually do goals in January, I'm
so overwhelmed in January bythe holidays that I just kind of
give myself a couple of words,I kind of do a meditation and
prayer and I then just see likewhat words come up.
(34:17):
And this year we were at thebeach right after Christmas, so
I did it there and I was audiomessaging a close friend back
and forth and we had the sameword, which was so fun.
So we both um, it was differentspin, but it was basically
about our health and justletting really prioritizing
Cause we both have health stuffgoing on.
And I was like oh good, so wecan like.
(34:38):
So good, we can keep each otherrolling on all that stuff Cause
same.
It's like I'm still trying tofigure out like what does my
diet need to be?
Do I need to adjust it?
Do I need to adjust, like, mylevels of my medicines and stuff
?
So, anyways, this is just a newworld for me to have to even
think about that stuff.
But I did see a woman that dida reel.
That was like you take yourhealth for granted and all these
(35:00):
other things seem important,but the minute your health is in
question it consumes 90% ofyour thoughts and I was like
that is so valid.
She was like so, before you getthere, take care of yourself.
Like it matters so much, and itis truly it was a beautiful if
you don't have it's.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
That's what I saw with my friend that passed away.
It happened so fast and youknow it's just until it is in
your health is in jeopardy.
You know when it is in jeopardy, it becomes the number one
priority.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
So it's yeah, it can be very fast and very scary, so
make make it a priority now Ilove that Before it's too late.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Good reminder, yes, okay, speaking of your early
mornings y'all, I have gotten sobad at getting up in the
morning because one of mysymptoms has been fatigue, like
just bone wearying fatigue, andso I um, it's getting better and
now I'm sleeping better atnight, so that has just been a
game changer.
(36:08):
So now I'm trying to set analarm and get myself like on a
steady.
You know, go to bed at thistime, get up at this time, and
I'm doing the Mel Robbins 5, 4,3, 2, 1.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
And I don't let myself hit snooze.
So 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and I get up,but let me tell y'all it is
hard Tell our listeners aboutthe 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, because I
love this and I use this all thetime Well.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Jennifer knows Mel Robbins better than I do, but
she basically, when she was inher hard season that she shares
a lot about, she just came upwith some things to kind of you
know just like how we have to do.
You kind of have to make thingsa game for yourself, to kind of
give yourself something to do.
So she made this rule that shewould count down from five and
then once she got to the end ofthe countdown she had to do the
(36:55):
thing, and whether it's get outof the bed or make the hard
phone call or you know, walk inthe door where you have to go,
speak to the person that it'shard to speak to, whatever it is
, she kind of just does thiscountdown.
And what is cool is thepsychology of it is, by the time
you've even said five, you'vesort of already committed, and
then your brain is committingevery number you count down.
(37:17):
It's like really motivating you,instead of like doing that mean
voice in your head thing likethat we tend to, some of us tend
to motivate ourselves with, soI love it.
I will say I will confess thatthe other day I'm at five, four,
three, two, one, and I was likeshoot can we go?
Speaker 1 (37:35):
can we go to negative numbers?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I started like surely if I edge of the bed and I was
like, surely if I just startcounting down again I'm going to
feel better?
And I just I did count down onemore time and anyway, I just
got so tickled at myself I waslike wow, that was fast, okay,
maybe.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
I should count slower .
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yes, I'm trying to do that, and what is out is the
flipping snooze button, becauseI'm going to tell y'all what I
really hate.
I have always really, reallyhated like it grates on my
nerves is an alarm clock noise.
I don't even know how toexplain it, and so I grew up I
(38:14):
think it's partly because wedidn't grow up with alarm clocks
.
My mom had all like the radiokind and she put it on like the
soft station.
Now do you think that woke meup?
No, it didn't.
My dad would come and bang potsand pans and drag me out of the
bed by my feet, like literally.
My dad says that the best thingabout me graduating was him not
having to wake me up anymore?
He just said every morning hewould just dread yes, so I'm not
(38:34):
saying my mom's method worked,but also alarm clocks.
They just like put me in a badmood because it's so, so jarring
.
Yeah, so I have my little Alexathing and she oh good, that
one's not on and she says it'slike a little tune type thing,
it's less grating, but I don'twant to hear it again and again.
So I'm like let's just stopsnoozing, melinda.
(38:55):
And five, four, three, two, oneit.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Yep, that's right, that's what's in.
Yep, yep, I agree, mornings arevery mornings are just set up
the entire day, and I noticed ahuge difference in myself.
If I don't have that, um, justthat positive mindset at the
beginning of the day, it justsets me up for any.
(39:17):
You know all the I will say allof the negatives that pop into
our life, whether it's somebodypulling out in front of you, or
whether it's an email that youdidn't expect that you get, or
you know any type of bad newsthat you get.
It just shifts your mindset tobe more positive.
(39:39):
Yes, it really does, and sothat's just kind of it's a
little gift, it's your littlemorning gift.
So I try to give myself thatgift in the morning.
It doesn't always work, but ingeneral, you know, I really try
to do that in the morning andpart of that is one of my ends
(40:00):
is just allowing God to be incontrol is to.
I am such a goal oriented personand I think that's good to a
certain extent.
I think sometimes it can be toocontrolling and I feel like
(40:20):
that's how I am.
Sometimes I need to kind ofback away, let go and let God,
and so that's.
I'm really trying to do that, Ithink, especially with our
children as they get older, andif we have had a tight leash on
our children, you know we'vebeen such a huge part of their
(40:42):
lives.
When they do venture out ontheir own, it can be very
overwhelming at times.
Yeah, and just allowing onething that Mike and I did at the
beginning of the year we'venever done this before.
I think I remember.
Did you ever read any of JodiBurns books?
I don't know.
It's praying the scriptures foryour children.
(41:08):
She has several.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
She has praying the scriptures for your children.
Yeah, I think I did a long timeago Praying the scriptures for
your teens praying thescriptures for yourself, I mean,
she has several books.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
One of the things that she does every year is she
chooses a scripture for eachchild.
And now that she hasgrandchildren, she chooses a
scripture for each of hergrandchildren, and so Mike and I
chose a scripture for each ofour children and we put it up on
the refrigerator, and with eachof their names.
(41:40):
So, like Will, his scriptureDrayton.
You know, every single one ofthe kids has their own Bible
verse, and so we'll be sittingthere at the fridge it's a great
place to put it up, becauseyou're getting ice, you're
getting water or whatever, andyou just look at it and you just
pray over them.
And Addie even came up to melast week.
We didn't tell them we weredoing this, but she came up to
(42:02):
me and she said thank you for myBible scripture.
You know, I really appreciatethat.
And we really tried to thinkabout what phase of life they're
in right now and what scripturewould really speak to them the
most.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Well then that's great, because then it helps you
reach that goal, it reinforcesto you the letting go of control
, and so say I would just offerto y'all our friends out there
that, like, if, like choosing ascripture feels overwhelming,
just have a one or two sentencelittle prayer to say over your
(42:38):
child that you could write outand put somewhere, like on your
mirror or, you know, if you havea book you read every morning,
or or in your phone, if you're aphone person and you like your
notes in your phone, or youcould have it pop up as a
reminder on your phone.
I do feel like when we do thingslike that, I love that reminder
, Jennifer, that it does help usremember it's not just us Like
(42:59):
we're not, we're not ultimatelyreally in control.
And one of my really closefriends, her son, one of his
roommates, died and it's justbeen so hard and it's just so
hard as a.
We've just talked about howit's so hard to go through those
things, but as a mother, sohard to walk alongside your kids
(43:24):
going through those things andtalk about like really being
shown like we're.
We really have to just likeloosen the grip on our kids and
like really really trust thatwe're not in it alone with them.
But I love that reminder.
That's a great idea.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yeah, so just to, just to let go, and you know
still um fervently pray, prayover all of them, and you know
for every, for everything, butat the same time let go and let
God you know, because our plansare not his, and that is really
for a controlling person likemyself.
That is hard.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
That is hard.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
So, but yeah, I think that's all I had.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Well, my one last one is just that I really want to
remember before I hit purchaseon something I'm asking myself
are you going to want to get ridof this in six months?
Are you setting yourself up foranother Goodwill box?
And that's ridiculous.
Yes, and so I'm trying to bebetter about not just all those
(44:36):
like on a whim, yeah, like todayI almost bought a new little
handy chopper thing, Cause mineis it's a little, it's getting a
little and I thought, why not,but just wait for it to die all
the way.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
It's not all the way dead yet I don't have to get a
cute one.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I wanted to, but I was like I'll just keep these in
mind.
That looks like it's going tocroak.
Until it actually croaks, youknow, it might have another gear
on it.
It might well.
Honestly, johnny and I werejust talking about how thankful
we are like our washer and dryer.
We almost got rid of it when webought this house, and so it is
going 12 years longer than wethought it would wow, that's
(45:14):
amazing a new one would havedied by now.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yes, yeah, but it's old and we have this guy.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
That'll be anyway, so that is in.
I think that is a have this guythat'll pay anyway.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
So that is in.
I think that is a very onething that I Excuse me.
That is out.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
That is out the purchasing all the Keeping what
you have.
Shitake, yes, and what is in ispurchasing experiences like
content tickets.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
Yes, weekends away.
Oh, we are all about that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
Definitely so.
So we've been more intentionalabout having more experiences,
but now I just feel even more soabout it.
Especially with like from thatseries we did about the kids
like just enjoying things withtheir young adults Experiences
are really important.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
So awesome.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
This was so much fun.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
I know it's a great way to start the new year, and
we'd love to hear from y'all aswell.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
What are y'all?
Speaker 1 (46:00):
what are your ins and outs for 2025?
Speaker 2 (46:02):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
Yeah, and we are super excited about this year
and just seeing what this yearhas for our podcast.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
I know All right, so we will see y'all next time.
Have a great week.
Bye, oh, double bye.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Thank you for joining us on the Empty Nest Quest.
We hope today's episode broughtyou inspiration, insight and a
sense of community.
Remember, this is your time tothrive.
If you enjoyed the show, besure to subscribe, leave a
review and share it with friends.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Stay connected with us on YouTube and Instagram at
Empty Nest Quest Podcast formore resources and updates.
Until next time, keep embracingthe journey and thriving on
your empty nest quest.
Welcome to the Empty Nest Quest, the podcast where we
redefine midlife and embracethe journey ahead.
Join your hosts, jennifer andMelinda, as we share inspiring
stories, helpful hints,entrepreneurial advice and tips
that will have you thriving notjust surviving, during this
transformative time of your life.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Whether you're approaching the empty nest phase
or already navigating it, we'rehere to support you every step
of the way.
Let's embark on this questtogether.
This is a glamorous thing to do.
It's out of their mind.
Scrub somebody else's piss offthe toilet.
Scrub somebody else's piss offthe toilet.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So that's what happens when you hit record
while Jennifer's mid-rant.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So tell them where you just came from so we'll have
some context.
I came from Alumni Cookie Doughand thought I was going to be
there for about 30 minutes and Iended up being there for about
three hours but people werecrazy about cookie day today and
that was a good thing, but yeah, it was a little wackadoodle.
And then the last thing what Iwas saying is the last thing
that I did before I left wasreally made the mistake of going
(01:18):
into the bathroom, because youknow, of course I can't leave
the bathroom unless it isshining clean and thank the Lord
so scrubbed the toilet and umthe you know sink.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
So and that's fun to do in a public restroom, oh yeah
.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Scrubbing a stranger's TT off the toilet is
like dreamy.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, yeah, and I thought she was going to come
over here, smelling like youknow, cookies and cream.
Like something delicious, I mayhave before I went into the
bathroom.
She just smells like her cuteperfume.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
But I am always under the and I believe this.
I believe that a restaurant'sbathroom is an indication of
what the kitchen is like.
So if the bathroom is clean,Stop right now.
Oh, it's a.
Is this a true correlation?
Absolutely 100%.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Well then, I can't go eat at half the places we go
anymore.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I'm telling you, it is the way their bathroom looks,
is how their kitchen looks,that you can't see.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Well, okay, she's speechless.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
but I believe that.
I believe that, and if you lookat health scores, it is.
It is true.
It is true.
It is easy to keep the front ofthe house clean.
It is true, it is true.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
It is easy to keep the front of the house clean.
Athens, georgia where are weabout to start?
Send me?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
where it is very true to me.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I mean, I just think that no, I know I believe you
and I think that is why so manyplaces have been X'd off my list
in town and I'm not, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Tony Shade.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, that's on my ins and outs.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I think bathrooms are very important wow, okay so
yeah, but this is our firstepisode back this year 2025.
It's going to be an amazingyear.
It's been a little bumpy, notgonna lie.
That's why this is the firstepisode that we're putting out
the last.
Monday of the month.
This was was not intentional.
We were very much intending toput out an episode a lot earlier
(03:27):
than this, but life happens andthat's just the way it goes.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
So but that's why we're having fun doing it
together.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
We just roll and we give each other grace, right?
You know, we understand that wehave families, we have
businesses.
Um, we have a life, we have afamily, aging parents and things
happen, so yeah, but happy newyear, happy new year, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, I feel like we need to.
Maybe just 2025 feels like itmight be one of those years
where we need to just say, likehappy new month at the beginning
of every month and giveourselves a fresh, like restart.
We don't have to take thisclangy bracelet off.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Do you hear it?
It's like jingling.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
They may hear it more than I do.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah, I agree, I feel like just those little
milestones and that a new yearyou know the new year's goals
per se, that people wait untilthe new year, I think maybe in
2025, it just needs to be amonthly thing.
Yeah, like you know, giveyourself some grace and
forgiveness and realize thatthings happen.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
And I heard somewhere years ago cause you know all my
yoga stuff, but that reallyit's nice to let your goals kind
of match the season we're in,and so January you're still.
This is still like peakhibernation.
Winter is supposed to get darkearly, You're supposed to be
tired, You're at night, and sohave your goals positioned
(04:53):
during the winter to match thewinter and then when you want to
have those like kind of springy, something new, getting us
things started, goal like dothat and, you know, align that
with spring.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
So, anyway, that helps me.
That helps me.
Yeah, definitely.
So well, we're going to startwith just kind of catching up a
little bit, and then thisepisode is going to be the ins
and outs our ins and outs what'sin for us in 2025 and what is
out.
We're putting on the backburner, putting it in the past.
(05:29):
What are we going to put in theput in the rear view mirror?
So, and we haven't discussedthis, so I have no idea what
Melinda's going to say, if it'sgoing to be serious or funny.
Some of mine are serious andthen some of mine are like funny
.
Some of mine are serious andthen some of mine are like I
guess a little funny, but I amserious about them.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
We know you are and y'all.
I do want y'all to know thatlast time Jennifer and I got
together.
So if y'all have been listening, you know that during the
holiday she was like really on a.
She had a stance about peoplethat left their pumpkins out
after Halloween and so I justkind of forgot we meet in my
basement and I kind of justforgot that my whole basement
was totally tricked out forChristmas and that I was like
(06:09):
halfway finished decorating.
And it's like fully overhalfway through January and
Jennifer walks in my house andit's still got like a full
decorated tree and I was like,and you know as, as you know
what, as long as it's inside.
Yeah, she didn't call my HOA.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
There are no lights hanging up outside, there's no
Grinches hanging from a window,and I'd like to say that that's
not something I look at everyday when I drive in my
neighborhood, but it is.
I still see the Grinch.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
And it drives me crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
That's hilarious.
So you know, oh gosh, that thatmight be on the outlist.
But one thing I do want tobring up that we are going to
plan out is a series onmenopause, on hormone
replacement therapy.
That is going to be, I wouldsay, probably like what?
A six week series on that.
That's really something we'regoing to dive deep into this
(07:16):
year.
It's very much a hot topic withhot, hot flashes.
There is a hot topic with hotflashes melinda's already.
She's already shedded a umlayer.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
She may start shed more layers, but anyway.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So that's something.
So just so y'all are aware,hopefully you can spread the
word and um, because I thinkit's gonna be great.
We're gonna have um interviewsand just kind of share our
experiences as well.
So I I'm excited for it yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I think I think that it has been key for me to have
so much support and differentkinds of support and, yes,
tuning into things like um, ourpodcast and other podcasts like
this.
It has been really helpful forme, so we hope that we can be
that for y'all.
So definitely.
But what you been up to besidescleaning toilets?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Oh my gosh, it's just .
You know it's been, theholidays were all good, got to
be with family and, but you knowlike we hit on.
You know our parents aregetting older and that's hard um
to see them go throughdifferent seasons of their lives
(08:31):
.
So, um, and I'm an only childand so it's truly, I mean it's
me and look, I mean thankgoodness for you know, mike,
he's so helpful but, um, hisparents are aging as well.
We're we feel so blessed tohave them, though there are so
many.
We honestly, we were talkingabout this the other day we were
like we cannot think of onefriend, like really close friend
(08:54):
, that we have that has bothparents and we just feel really
blessed that we have them.
So, but, yeah, it's, it'schallenging.
And then I had one of a dearfriend of mine passed away
unexpectedly.
She was only 55 and just themost vivacious, energetic person
(09:19):
you know one of.
She was just an amazing person.
So that was a very, very toughstart to the year, for sure,
thank you.
So it was.
It kind of makes you reset anddefinitely puts a perspective on
things.
And I don't know, it's just, Iguess it's hard.
(09:42):
You know you always questionand I don't know it's just, I
guess it's hard, you know youalways question and but it's not
not our, it's not our place toquestion even though it's
something very natural that wedo.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
But you know it's not meant to be understood, I guess
, when something like thathappens, and it's just so hard
because I feel like we don'thave, because I think the US
Cause I feel like we don't havebecause I think the U?
S is such like a melting pot.
I don't think culturally wehave kind of agreed upon rituals
and ways to process grief anddeath.
(10:15):
Like I feel like we try to tieit up and kind of make it pretty
and move people along, and Ithink that's truly not out of
cynicism, I think it's out ofnot knowing what to do.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
You just don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah, and I feel like we could really learn a lot
from cultures that really taketime to, like I love in Mexican
culture.
I mean, they really do abeautiful job of celebrating
their ancestors that they'velost.
You know, every year the day ofthe dead and then and then the
whole ritual that I've witnessedof the funeral and everything
(10:50):
it's.
it's really just kind of a partof and you keep talking about
those people and celebratingthem and it's okay to bring
their, it's encouraged to bringtheir name up all the time right
to talk about how they'recarrying forward, and I feel
like that's becoming like.
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I feel like we're all learning that more right and
you realize those that aregrieving want to hear the person
saying when we interviewedkathy um last year, you know
she's it makes me happy whenpeople bring up Teenie's name.
I want to hear her name andhear how she is still having an
impact on people's lives.
So I have made it a point ofthat.
(11:26):
I try to say the person's name,say their name, say their name,
you know, and that's how theycan live on.
So but yeah, so that that waskind of a hard start to the year
, but I'm just trying to pushthrough and think about what she
would want me to do, you knowwhat, how she would want me to
(11:46):
continue on.
So that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
So, yeah, that's, that's so hard.
Yeah, we have, we've same we've.
We've seen our family, we'vegotten to see all the family and
that was good, and went toSouth Georgia to see my parents,
and so you know hunting andfour-wheeling and all that stuff
, all that South Georgia stuff,all that South.
Georgia stuff.
And then we did also have afriend that passed that we went
(12:17):
to her funeral.
She passed before Christmas andthen we went to her funeral.
They did her celebration andservice in January, early
January Right, but it was reallybeautiful, just it was so
pretty and just so honoring.
Like all of her children spoke.
She was also like our age, so,yeah, it was just hard and but
(12:39):
it, like you said, it justbrought a lot of perspective and
just makes you see howimportant it is to have like
good community around you and itdefinitely brought a lot to
light.
And so that, might you know, Ifeel like in later this year,
doing a little bit of it mightnot necessarily be a series, but
(12:59):
we certainly will do somethingand I feel like to address like
grief and just in this season,because we really are kind of in
that gap of, like our, you know, the generations before us that
we're still loving Right, right, care so much for that you know
are in their later years andthen we're also still parenting
these young Right, well, and Ithink that can be part of the
(13:20):
grief process too.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
You know the grieving your children leaving I mean,
even though they're leaving thenest and they're growing up it's
.
You know, sometimes it is anexciting adventure that they're
on but at the same time, even ifit is a really positive thing
that's happening, you stillgrieve them not being there.
You know what does that seasonlook like the first holiday, the
(13:45):
first birthday where your childisn't there.
You know it's just and grievingthat.
Well, you're saying goodbye to achapter you know, like every
time and I think when they werein school the school kind of
helped us right.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
They graduate from kindergarten, they graduate from
fifth grade and have these likerituals and you kind of go
through it with all the otherparents and so now this is a
little different right.
It's like um, we're not in thatbecause we're not in every
kid's kind of doing their ownthing.
They're well it happens atdifferent times.
Yes, you know yes and and you'redoing it a little less in
community.
Right they're off, you know, inan apprenticeship for a job or
(14:25):
in college or right alreadymoved out.
So it's a little different yeahso we, I think we need to come
together.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I think that's a great plan, though, to do that
so this, let's do so this is onour ins and outs.
Do you want to start?
And it's funny when I wasmaking my list I was thinking
well, for every out I could makean in.
That's what I.
You know you did that.
How'd you do?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
it.
I didn't do that, oh okay, butthat's fine, I like that.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
But I figured I would touch on you know whatever.
So you want to go first.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Okay, well, first of all, if you're watching, which
you know where I didn't do, bythe way, apologies y'all my job
to get all the episodes onYouTube and I think I got half
of them on there.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
So, in this, year'm gonna get all the episodes on
youtube is that an n?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
yes, that's an n out.
Is melinda being a slacker forthe podcast?
Is that really?
one of your no, no I was likereally, no, you are not a
slacker.
No, not really.
I mean yes, I did not get themall but anyway and what I was
going to say.
Ian is doing whatever the heckyou want with your hair, and I
(15:39):
told Jennifer I'm trying to getbrave enough to let my gray grow
out.
I'm not there yet, clearlybecause I got my hair colored
today.
But I also got it whacked offso that, in case I get brave
enough to start letting the graygrow out that there won't be as
much of it.
That's a good as much of it sogood.
(15:59):
So I thought that Jennifer andI should chronicle it and do it
together on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And she said absolutely not.
No, no, no, no.
I was actually just sharingwith Melinda a new product that
I have, that you actually.
It's this little container ofpowder and you just go.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
And it looks so good.
It's really.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
I'm trying not to get my hair done as much because I
feel like it's damaging it.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
So there's also.
Have you seen, I got, I got youknow.
I think I saw it on TikTok.
I got one of the ones.
It's like a pencil so that whenyou pull your hair back.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It gets all these that are like right in the front
.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
And that because sometimes the powdery thing I
have doesn't get that much.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
But mine is not mine is like a.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Mine looks almost like a blush brush.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yours is like a puff, that's like a little.
Yeah, it's a puff, I like that.
I like that, I like it.
I think we're going to have toshare those with each other.
Yeah, we'll have to share.
Well, maybe we'll put them on,and then I do have the spray too
, but the spray just wears out.
Anyway, it's hard being blonde.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
And brunette.
It's hard turning gray.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
It's hard turning gray it is Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
So what are okay?
Let's see you know, did you,did you do one I?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
think I did.
Did I about my hair?
Oh, is that your hair?
Yeah, okay, um, okay, one of myouts is aimless scrolling good,
meet I.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
It was that one of yours too.
Well, I did it.
I said I'm gonna stops, I'mgonna.
My like kind of rule for myselfis I'm going to try to be like
for sure, for sure, off my phoneby 10.
Okay, it probably should beearlier, but it's going to be 10
.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
And I'm, I think I'm going to remove some apps from
my phone and only be able to seethem on my computer.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yep, have you looked into um your?
Like you can look into screentime.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, let's don't talk about that, okay, it's bad.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
It is bad, and I don't think I'm going to do that
, because I don't want to bethat.
I tend to be, so, um, I divetoo deep, and so it's just too
much.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
And then you get too hard on yourself and then you
just abandon the whole thing.
But I'm going to cut down on umaimless scrolling.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
But I'm going to cut down on aimless scrolling.
I love it, and I put next tothat screenshotting every recipe
.
What is wrong with me?
Okay?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Okay, well, let me tell you what I've been doing,
please share I have a life hack.
So go in your photos whateverday it is Okay and search like
today, um, today's date okay.
And then hit search and itpulls up all the photos you have
in your phone that are taggedthat date ever and then you can
(18:47):
just clean out one day at a time.
So I'm trying to make it thelast thing I do on my phone at
night I do it.
I do it at nine, I have an alarmand it's fun because you get
the little refresh of like yourcute little babies in there.
Whatever, you know, howeverlong ago our phone started, and
then me too, with the daggumscreenshot.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Oh, my gosh.
What is wrong with me?
I mean, I mean every recipeexercise, I'm like what?
Speaker 2 (19:15):
the heck.
What was I thinking?
I deleted 10 pictures of thiswoman's face the other night
because I had screenshot everyone of her stories.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I go back and I'm like what in the world?
And I never look at it again.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Well then, you know what I did.
After I started driving myselfcrazy with the screenshots, I
started filing them in my notes.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
So I also have them in my notes no I think what you
said is great and that'll be alittle daily reminder of oh my
gosh, you know, cut it out RightCause you don't want to have
more to delete, cut it out, yeahyou know, cut it out Right
Cause you don't want to havemore to delete, cut it out.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Yeah, okay, so that's my first out.
Do I do an end too Sure?
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Okay, so an end for me is handwritten notes.
Oh, I love it.
Yes, I think we have all gottenout of that.
And when it really slapped mein my face is last year, at the
end of the year, one of my Idon't even know how she's
related to me Um distant cousins, I guess you may say, but she
(20:23):
is um much older, I think she'sin her eighties Um, she sent me
a message on Facebook and said Iwas cleaning out all of my
drawers and everything and Ifound a note from your
grandmother.
Would you like me to mail it toyou?
And I was like, oh my gosh, yes.
So she mailed me this note thatmy grandmother wrote, and I was
(20:47):
actually in the note she hadbecause we had just gone to
visit her.
So she said Jennifer is stilltalking about the horseback
riding.
And then she said and here'sthe recipe of the chocolate pie
I made.
So there's a little recipe cardand it's in her handwriting.
No way, I love that.
So, I thought you know what Ourgeneration is not going to have
(21:09):
that hand writing the notes.
So my goal is to write at leastone handwritten note a month.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
That's not too much.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
That's not, that's perfect, and I feel like you
know, let's do it here.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
And then we'll, it'll be fun, and then we can remind
our friends, I love it, I do Iwell.
Do you have some stationery?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I, I'm like sort of one of those stationary fiends.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I always love it.
I love some stationery I do tooand I always buy a little box.
And now it's so inexpensive youcan buy little boxes and note
cards.
Yeah, I have a whole drawerfull, good.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Let's do it.
Yeah, okay, let's do it.
Let's do it.
That'd be fun.
I love that idea.
So handwritten notes are in.
They are in for 25.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
I love that?
Yes, so I.
So the way I did mine was likewith an in was an out, and so I
have been listening to oh mygosh, I just forgot the title of
the book, because you know,perimenopause, it's something in
the dark by Barbara BrownTaylor.
It's about lessons of the dark,lessons in the dark, I don't
know.
Anyway she's a pastor, that isa beautiful writer and, um, she
(22:17):
just talks about, like how we'vemade darkness like unnatural
and we just keep everything youknow uber bright and whatever.
And so I'm kind of big onwintering anyway and like truly
honoring winter.
So I am trying to like haveless lights on the house at
night.
Light candles dim the lights,like just let it get dark, and
(22:39):
like whatever music's playing,like let it play quieter.
So that is my in and then theout was the screens.
So much at night so it has,it's always well, you know how
they say.
Have you ever heard somebodysay you don't really quit a
habit, you replace it with a newone.
So the only thing is is like Ivery much am like one of those
(23:00):
people when I read, I can zoneout and read for hours like a
bump on a log.
So I'm not I mean, I don't know.
I mean I do think that's better, obviously, than the scrolling,
but honest to goodness, I thinkI have probably clocked about
15 to 20 hours on my Kindle thisweekend.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Oh, gosh Of reading.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Okay, I think that's more than I used to scroll, but
anyway, I feel like, I feel likethat's a good replacement, so
anyway.
So yeah, so I've been doing.
I'm trying to have it dimmer atnight, so we'll see if it keeps
going.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I'm piggybacking a little bit on the whole candle
thing.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Mike and I are obsessed with candle making.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Y'all.
I'm obsessed with Jennifer andMike Okay.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Did I send you a picture?
Yeah, yeah, we are.
We have got.
I mean, mike is getting likepottery out of our kitchen.
I have some donations, do?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
you really yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
We will make you a candle.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I mean, we are, are just, it's just become great and
um, we have like the chopsticksthat we crisscross and so the
wicks don't fall.
It is a thing I just.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I just want to say you were doing what we said last
season about finding fun littlehobbies, like just trying
things just for the fun of it.
Why not Just try it?
Yeah, it's so fun.
Johnny and I just aren't doingthat.
What are we doing?
I don't know.
We're going to think about whatare Johnny and I doing?
Well, we're just talking aboutwork a lot.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
It's hard when we work together.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
I am proud of y'all.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I think it's so fun it gets our mind off of.
We're so into the businessright now that it's kind of an
escape, because we'll findourselves I mean, we enjoy
talking about the business solike we'll go out to dinner or
even at home and we'll chit chatabout the business and we're
like, oh my gosh, should we dothat, should we not?
I'm like, well, we enjoy it,right.
(25:21):
So if you enjoy, it then I think, it's fine, but it's nice to
have these little outlets likecandle making that.
You know it's, we stay busy andit's just it's hilarious.
I love it, mike.
It was funny, though, becauseif you glue the bottom of the
wicks down on whatever containeryou're using, some of them give
(25:42):
you like these little stickers.
What would we found is thestickers float up if they, if
they get too bad.
So we started hot gluing themwith a hot glue gun, and Mike he
used a hot glue gun for thefirst time the other day.
He was like how does this work?
Does it just come out?
Yeah, but it was funny, that'shilarious, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
That was so fun, though I love that y'all are
figuring that out.
Did you try that oil?
Yes, it was good.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Does it smell good?
It smells really good, okay,good.
Yeah, we're doing someessential oils.
That was one of my ends.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Y'all watch Jennifer's about to start a
candle company.
Y'all watch out.
Oh my gosh, I can't do that.
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
One of my outs is this is kind of funny, but and
this was not really for me, Ijust think this is for everybody
.
Road rage, oh, people get sougly and I'm like chill out,
yeah, you know, yeah, ugly yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
And I'm like chill out, yeah, you know, yeah, I
mean they just get so like theycut in front of you and I just
think it's just so ugly it's nota good look, y'all, and it's
dangerous because we're havingall these people, I mean we're
keep having people, pedestriansget hit and with a crosswalk,
with a walk sign.
I mean slow down, slow down, isit?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
really worth.
You know, not only are yougoing to possibly kill someone,
but you would never be the sameagain If something happened.
Just slow down, five seconds isnot going to make a difference.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I think it's something.
Um, I've had some.
We've chit chatted about thiswith some friends.
I think that our men, asthey're getting older, are
getting a little crabby in thecar and they need to they need
to.
Just, maybe they need to.
I mean, maybe I need to recordthem like a yoga audio, a yoga
for driving.
This is how you feel when youdrive.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
I like that Road rage is out.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Road rage is out, you try yeah no, I like that.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Road rage is out, I like it.
Road rage is out, chill out.
Yeah, a hundred percent, that'sa good one.
Well, one of my outs was y'allI have.
I have stricken so manyrestaurants off the list that
it's like frustrating to Johnnyat this point A because of the
stupid gluten-free diet that Ihave to do because of my thyroid
junk, so that just takes out alot of places.
Because then, like, what do youlike there?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
And now that I mentioned the bathroom, forget
it.
You're right at home, right?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I mean seriously, I'm going to have like three places
left to eat.
But what I can't stand in arestaurant.
Why does your restaurant smelllike a sour flipping towel?
Why does it smell like ranknastiness?
And you're supposed to sitthere and eat and you know what
it is.
It's those no slip mats and Iknow people have to have them,
(28:23):
but I'm like, if they smell likethat, wash it or throw it away
or pour some bleach down yourdrain in the bathroom or
whatever is stinking up yourwhole restaurant that I can't
eat there anymore.
And so that is stinkyrestaurants are out.
I cannot handle it and I don'tknow why other people are
sitting there eating.
(28:43):
Can they not smell it?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Oh my gosh, I am, I am completely obsessed with
smells, so I just, I just can'tdo that.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Literally.
No, I mean, I don't want toname all the places we can't go
anymore, but there are so many.
Poor Johnny, he's like, let'sget nevermind.
You just say the three placesyou'll go.
So that's way out.
But the end is I do want to tryto be better about eating at
home.
I say this all the time, though.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
I know.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure.
I have um does it count if Ieat my kava at home?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Yeah, I think so, I think so.
Um, I have started mealprepping more.
See, you're always good at thatstuff.
And it really is pretty simpleIf you um meal prep, like all
the meat um at one time, um orjust pre-cutting things or you
(29:42):
know, just like, as soon as youget something like if there are
berries, go ahead and and washthem before you put them in the
fridge.
I don't know, I can't make itnow.
I could make it like a probablya week out for me.
Mike is real weird about old orfood, yeah, so, um, sometimes
(30:04):
I'll go in the fridge and I'mlike, uh, where is that?
You know, whatever.
And he's like, well, it was inthere for a couple of days so,
and I'm like, oh, no, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I'm like I love something that I've already made
.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
It feels like a gift, feels like a gift.
Yeah, yeah, it's, it only staysin there a couple days, which
is probably technically probablybetter, but yeah, but, um, is
it my turn or your turn?
I I think it's your turn, okay?
Um, part of this goes with that.
Self-care is in.
For me, that includes water.
(30:39):
I'm just trying to be reallymindful of getting enough water
in throughout the day.
Um, really getting.
I'm pretty good about gettingup early.
I get up at five and I don'thave to leave the house until
seven, so that allows me time tojust have that quiet time in
(31:04):
the morning for myself to I dotake care of, you know, the dog
and and all that, but just toreally sit down, have some.
We're doing 40 days to a joyfilled life.
The, the book.
Mike and I are both doing it,which has been really
interesting because we use thesame book.
(31:26):
Um, so our daughter is doing itas well.
Stephanie's done it and she'slike y'all both need your own
book because you need to writein it.
Well, what I found is it's veryinteresting because I get up
first, so I'm marking it andwe're on the same day.
Mike and I are on the same dayand so I'll mark in it.
So he kind of goes back and he'slike oh well, this was
(31:47):
important to Jennifer, you knowshe underlined this and like one
day last week was talking aboutbeing a champion, you know,
being someone's champion andreally believing in someone.
And so I wrote a little note toMike in the book because I knew
he was going to read it.
And so throughout the day hetexted me and he was like you're
(32:10):
my champion too.
And so I was like oh you know,so it's been neat to do that
together.
So I feel like, I feel like thatpart of my morning routine is
really good, like I readsomething spiritual, I pray and
just get ready for the day.
But one area that I kind of runout of time on is the, you know
(32:34):
, working out.
I'm trying to lift weights andjust do more of what you need to
do at our age and I feel likethat's kind of shoved off to the
side.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
So I'm trying to prioritize that.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
But yeah, self-care is definitely in.
Getting your yearly physical isin.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
I really with that yourself.
I just think that we need tojust autopilot schedule the next
one while you're still there.
Don't say I'll call andschedule later, because we are
keeping track of too many things.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Y'all it is.
It's too easy to put off.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Well, and you just forget, because time is so weird
and you're like what?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
It has not been a year?
Yes, it has, and so make theappointment when you're there,
but it is y'all.
Please stay on top of yourphysicals.
Getting those yearly bloodtests done are critical.
No, does it catch every singlething?
No, but it does throw up somered flags.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, and it just gives you a lot of information.
I feel like, yeah, yeah, I feellike I love that reminder.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Self-care is in make your appointment.
If you don't have a yearly umphysical appointment made, make
it today.
Yeah, don't put it off anymore.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Yeah, I love, I love that it's a good reminder.
I also, um, definitely I don'tknow if you ever do this, but
like I just kind of don'tusually do goals in January, I'm
so overwhelmed in January bythe holidays that I just kind of
give myself a couple of words,I kind of do a meditation and
prayer and I then just see likewhat words come up.
(34:17):
And this year we were at thebeach right after Christmas, so
I did it there and I was audiomessaging a close friend back
and forth and we had the sameword, which was so fun.
So we both um, it was differentspin, but it was basically
about our health and justletting really prioritizing
Cause we both have health stuffgoing on.
And I was like oh good, so wecan like.
(34:38):
So good, we can keep each otherrolling on all that stuff Cause
same.
It's like I'm still trying tofigure out like what does my
diet need to be?
Do I need to adjust it?
Do I need to adjust, like, mylevels of my medicines and stuff
?
So, anyways, this is just a newworld for me to have to even
think about that stuff.
But I did see a woman that dida reel.
That was like you take yourhealth for granted and all these
(35:00):
other things seem important,but the minute your health is in
question it consumes 90% ofyour thoughts and I was like
that is so valid.
She was like so, before you getthere, take care of yourself.
Like it matters so much, and itis truly it was a beautiful if
you don't have it's.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
That's what I saw with my friend that passed away.
It happened so fast and youknow it's just until it is in
your health is in jeopardy.
You know when it is in jeopardy, it becomes the number one
priority.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
So it's yeah, it can be very fast and very scary, so
make make it a priority now Ilove that Before it's too late.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Good reminder, yes, okay, speaking of your early
mornings y'all, I have gotten sobad at getting up in the
morning because one of mysymptoms has been fatigue, like
just bone wearying fatigue, andso I um, it's getting better and
now I'm sleeping better atnight, so that has just been a
game changer.
(36:08):
So now I'm trying to set analarm and get myself like on a
steady.
You know, go to bed at thistime, get up at this time, and
I'm doing the Mel Robbins 5, 4,3, 2, 1.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
And I don't let myself hit snooze.
So 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and I get up,but let me tell y'all it is
hard Tell our listeners aboutthe 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, because I
love this and I use this all thetime Well.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Jennifer knows Mel Robbins better than I do, but
she basically, when she was inher hard season that she shares
a lot about, she just came upwith some things to kind of you
know just like how we have to do.
You kind of have to make thingsa game for yourself, to kind of
give yourself something to do.
So she made this rule that shewould count down from five and
then once she got to the end ofthe countdown she had to do the
(36:55):
thing, and whether it's get outof the bed or make the hard
phone call or you know, walk inthe door where you have to go,
speak to the person that it'shard to speak to, whatever it is
, she kind of just does thiscountdown.
And what is cool is thepsychology of it is, by the time
you've even said five, you'vesort of already committed, and
then your brain is committingevery number you count down.
(37:17):
It's like really motivating you,instead of like doing that mean
voice in your head thing likethat we tend to, some of us tend
to motivate ourselves with, soI love it.
I will say I will confess thatthe other day I'm at five, four,
three, two, one, and I was likeshoot can we go?
Speaker 1 (37:35):
can we go to negative numbers?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I started like surely if I edge of the bed and I was
like, surely if I just startcounting down again I'm going to
feel better?
And I just I did count down onemore time and anyway, I just
got so tickled at myself I waslike wow, that was fast, okay,
maybe.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
I should count slower .
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yes, I'm trying to do that, and what is out is the
flipping snooze button, becauseI'm going to tell y'all what I
really hate.
I have always really, reallyhated like it grates on my
nerves is an alarm clock noise.
I don't even know how toexplain it, and so I grew up I
(38:14):
think it's partly because wedidn't grow up with alarm clocks
.
My mom had all like the radiokind and she put it on like the
soft station.
Now do you think that woke meup?
No, it didn't.
My dad would come and bang potsand pans and drag me out of the
bed by my feet, like literally.
My dad says that the best thingabout me graduating was him not
having to wake me up anymore?
He just said every morning hewould just dread yes, so I'm not
(38:34):
saying my mom's method worked,but also alarm clocks.
They just like put me in a badmood because it's so, so jarring
.
Yeah, so I have my little Alexathing and she oh good, that
one's not on and she says it'slike a little tune type thing,
it's less grating, but I don'twant to hear it again and again.
So I'm like let's just stopsnoozing, melinda.
(38:55):
And five, four, three, two, oneit.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Yep, that's right, that's what's in.
Yep, yep, I agree, mornings arevery mornings are just set up
the entire day, and I noticed ahuge difference in myself.
If I don't have that, um, justthat positive mindset at the
beginning of the day, it justsets me up for any.
(39:17):
You know all the I will say allof the negatives that pop into
our life, whether it's somebodypulling out in front of you, or
whether it's an email that youdidn't expect that you get, or
you know any type of bad newsthat you get.
It just shifts your mindset tobe more positive.
(39:39):
Yes, it really does, and sothat's just kind of it's a
little gift, it's your littlemorning gift.
So I try to give myself thatgift in the morning.
It doesn't always work, but ingeneral, you know, I really try
to do that in the morning andpart of that is one of my ends
(40:00):
is just allowing God to be incontrol is to.
I am such a goal oriented personand I think that's good to a
certain extent.
I think sometimes it can be toocontrolling and I feel like
(40:20):
that's how I am.
Sometimes I need to kind ofback away, let go and let God,
and so that's.
I'm really trying to do that, Ithink, especially with our
children as they get older, andif we have had a tight leash on
our children, you know we'vebeen such a huge part of their
(40:42):
lives.
When they do venture out ontheir own, it can be very
overwhelming at times.
Yeah, and just allowing onething that Mike and I did at the
beginning of the year we'venever done this before.
I think I remember.
Did you ever read any of JodiBurns books?
I don't know.
It's praying the scriptures foryour children.
(41:08):
She has several.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
She has praying the scriptures for your children.
Yeah, I think I did a long timeago Praying the scriptures for
your teens praying thescriptures for yourself, I mean,
she has several books.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
One of the things that she does every year is she
chooses a scripture for eachchild.
And now that she hasgrandchildren, she chooses a
scripture for each of hergrandchildren, and so Mike and I
chose a scripture for each ofour children and we put it up on
the refrigerator, and with eachof their names.
(41:40):
So, like Will, his scriptureDrayton.
You know, every single one ofthe kids has their own Bible
verse, and so we'll be sittingthere at the fridge it's a great
place to put it up, becauseyou're getting ice, you're
getting water or whatever, andyou just look at it and you just
pray over them.
And Addie even came up to melast week.
We didn't tell them we weredoing this, but she came up to
(42:02):
me and she said thank you for myBible scripture.
You know, I really appreciatethat.
And we really tried to thinkabout what phase of life they're
in right now and what scripturewould really speak to them the
most.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Well then that's great, because then it helps you
reach that goal, it reinforcesto you the letting go of control
, and so say I would just offerto y'all our friends out there
that, like, if, like choosing ascripture feels overwhelming,
just have a one or two sentencelittle prayer to say over your
(42:38):
child that you could write outand put somewhere, like on your
mirror or, you know, if you havea book you read every morning,
or or in your phone, if you're aphone person and you like your
notes in your phone, or youcould have it pop up as a
reminder on your phone.
I do feel like when we do thingslike that, I love that reminder
, Jennifer, that it does help usremember it's not just us Like
(42:59):
we're not, we're not ultimatelyreally in control.
And one of my really closefriends, her son, one of his
roommates, died and it's justbeen so hard and it's just so
hard as a.
We've just talked about howit's so hard to go through those
things, but as a mother, sohard to walk alongside your kids
(43:24):
going through those things andtalk about like really being
shown like we're.
We really have to just likeloosen the grip on our kids and
like really really trust thatwe're not in it alone with them.
But I love that reminder.
That's a great idea.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yeah, so just to, just to let go, and you know
still um fervently pray, prayover all of them, and you know
for every, for everything, butat the same time let go and let
God you know, because our plansare not his, and that is really
for a controlling person likemyself.
That is hard.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
That is hard.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
So, but yeah, I think that's all I had.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
Well, my one last one is just that I really want to
remember before I hit purchaseon something I'm asking myself
are you going to want to get ridof this in six months?
Are you setting yourself up foranother Goodwill box?
And that's ridiculous.
Yes, and so I'm trying to bebetter about not just all those
(44:36):
like on a whim, yeah, like todayI almost bought a new little
handy chopper thing, Cause mineis it's a little, it's getting a
little and I thought, why not,but just wait for it to die all
the way.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
It's not all the way dead yet I don't have to get a
cute one.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
I wanted to, but I was like I'll just keep these in
mind.
That looks like it's going tocroak.
Until it actually croaks, youknow, it might have another gear
on it.
It might well.
Honestly, johnny and I werejust talking about how thankful
we are like our washer and dryer.
We almost got rid of it when webought this house, and so it is
going 12 years longer than wethought it would wow, that's
(45:14):
amazing a new one would havedied by now.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yes, yeah, but it's old and we have this guy.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
That'll be anyway, so that is in.
I think that is a have this guythat'll pay anyway.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
So that is in.
I think that is a very onething that I Excuse me.
That is out.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
That is out the purchasing all the Keeping what
you have.
Shitake, yes, and what is in ispurchasing experiences like
content tickets.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
Yes, weekends away.
Oh, we are all about that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
Definitely so.
So we've been more intentionalabout having more experiences,
but now I just feel even more soabout it.
Especially with like from thatseries we did about the kids
like just enjoying things withtheir young adults Experiences
are really important.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
So awesome.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
This was so much fun.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
I know it's a great way to start the new year, and
we'd love to hear from y'all aswell.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
What are y'all?
Speaker 1 (46:00):
what are your ins and outs for 2025?
Speaker 2 (46:02):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
Yeah, and we are super excited about this year
and just seeing what this yearhas for our podcast.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
I know All right, so we will see y'all next time.
Have a great week.
Bye, oh, double bye.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Thank you for joining us on the Empty Nest Quest.
We hope today's episode broughtyou inspiration, insight and a
sense of community.
Remember, this is your time tothrive.
If you enjoyed the show, besure to subscribe, leave a
review and share it with friends.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Stay connected with us on YouTube and Instagram at
Empty Nest Quest Podcast formore resources and updates.
Until next time, keep embracingthe journey and thriving on
your empty nest quest.
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