Reclaiming Your Identity When Roles Change

Have you ever caught yourself adding an already-completed task to your to-do list just for the satisfaction of checking it off? That desire for validation through accomplishment speaks to a deeper struggle many of us face, especially as we navigate midlife transitions.

This episode dives into day eight of Tommy Newberry's "40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life," exploring the powerful concept of spiritual identity theft. As our roles shift—children growing up, careers evolving, bodies changing—many of us find ourselves asking: Who am I now? What's my purpose? Do I still matter?

The transformative message here is that your identity isn't rooted in your roles, performance, or past. It's founded in being a child of God—chosen, loved, and enough exactly as you are. When we forget this truth, we experience a form of identity theft, allowing the world to define our worth through achievements, appearance, or approval from others.

For those in the empty nest phase, this perspective offers tremendous freedom. You don't have to hustle for love or constantly compete. Your fundamental worth never diminishes, regardless of changing circumstances. The episode provides practical ways to reinforce this truth, including creating personalized "I am" statements grounded in spiritual reality to combat negative self-talk.

Ready to reclaim your true identity? Listen now, and remember—you are a masterpiece created for a joyful purpose. Your identity is safe with the One who made you. Share this message with someone who needs to hear it today, and subscribe so you don't miss our next episode continuing this transformative journey.

We want to hear from you! Reach out to us on socials or at [e-mail] to share how our conversations are landing with you! xo-Melynda and Jennifer

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Empty Nest Quest, the podcast where we
redefine midlife and embracethe journey ahead.
Join your hosts, jennifer andMelinda, as we share inspiring
stories, helpful hints,entrepreneurial advice and tips
that will have you thriving notjust surviving, during this
transformative time of your life.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Whether you're approaching the empty nest phase
or already navigating it, we'rehere to support you every step
of the way.
Let's embark on this questtogether.
Hey friend, welcome back to theEmpty Nest Quest.
I'm Jennifer and I'm so gladyou're here today, whether
you're listening on your morningwalk, driving home from work or

(00:41):
just taking a much neededmoment to yourself.
You made space for somethinggood today and I believe this
message is going to truly speakto your heart.
Just a little preface to thisepisode I am recording outside
because it is such a beautifulday Anytime it's beautiful.

(01:01):
I love to be outside, so youmay hear some birds chirping or
some little kids driving by intheir little motorized cars or
little golf carts passing by,but just know that it is a
glorious day and I'm out here toenjoy it and absorb some of

(01:21):
this fresh air.
So, anyway, we are in day eightof our journey through Tommy
Newberry's 40 Days to aJoy-Filled Life, and today's
theme is called Stop IdentityTheft.
The Joy of Knowing Whose youAre and wow.
This one struck a chord with meand I know it will for you too.

(01:46):
You know, I think a lot of us,especially in midlife, struggle
with identity more than we'dlike to admit.
For years we've worn so manyhats right.
We've been mom, wife, volunteer, extraordinaire employee
whether you're working inside oroutside the home caretaker.

(02:07):
And then, slowly, things arestarting to shift.
The kids get older, the housegets quieter, our roles have
changed and we're left wonderinglike who am I now?
What's left for me?
Do I still matter?
And so, but here's the truthTommy Newberry reminds us of.

(02:31):
Your identity is not rooted inyour roles, your performance or
your past.
Your identity is rooted inwhose you are.
And you, my friend, are a childof God, and isn't that just the
best news ever.
It doesn't matter what our pastis.

(02:51):
It doesn't matter with whatwe've been through or the
mistakes we've made.
Our identity lies in the factthat we are a child of God, and
that never changes that we are achild of God and that never
changes.
He says it so clearly in thebook your identity is not based
on your past, your performanceor your problems.

(03:13):
It's based on your position inChrist.
That line is everything.
When we forget that we belong toGod, it's like we experience
spiritual identity theft.
The world and, let's be honest,the enemy, tries to convince us
that we're only as valuable asour achievements.

(03:37):
This hits home so often, and Ihear so many people really
identify with this that theyfeel like if they are not
accomplishing what they need toaccomplish, they really just
beat themselves up.
This also plays a huge role inour appearance.

(03:57):
I mean, I don't know about you,but in the last 10 years, my
body has changed.
You know, I am not I'm not ableto get myself in shape as fast
as I used to um, how I feel, myknees are creaking and all this,
all this stuff is going onhormonally and and internally.

(04:21):
So it's um, it really affectshow we think about ourselves,
but that is not how God sees you.
How we see ourselves is not theway God sees us.
You are already chosen, you'realready loved and you're already
enough.
Isn't that just the best news?

(04:42):
Let me ask you something haveyou ever found yourself
attaching your worth to how muchyou get done in a day or how,
together, your life looks fromthe from the outside?
I know that there areoftentimes.
I'm a big checklist person andthere are oftentimes I will
literally sometimes I will putsomething on the checklist that

(05:05):
I've already done, and it'sbecause I forgot to put it on
the checklist in the beginningpart of the day, but I'm so
proud of myself for doing it andI just want to see that check
mark.
I hope more of you are outthere saying, yes, girl, that is
me.
So that would make me feel alot better.
I used to live and I know somany of us used to live like

(05:27):
your value depending depended onchecking off all those boxes
clean house, happy kids,productive work, day right,
check mark after check markafter check mark.
But at the end of the day, evenif I did all those things,
sometimes there is still an ache, right, the ache of questioning

(05:52):
yourself is it enough?
But what I've learned, and whatNewberry reminds us of, is that
doing will never fill the placein us that only.
It only is filled by the lovethat God gives us.
No matter how many check marksthere are, there will always be

(06:14):
an ache and an empty place If wedon't have that in our lives.
You are not what you do, youare not your past mistakes, you
are not your changing roles,you're his, and that is
everlasting.
There's so much joy in knowingthat, because when we remember

(06:36):
whose we are, we don't have tohustle for love or approval.
We don't have to constantlycompare or compete.
We can rest in the truth thatwe are fully known and fully
loved, even on the messy days,even when we feel overlooked or

(07:00):
forgotten.
Even when we feel overlooked orforgotten, even when we're not
sure where we're going next, weare still his.
I want to invite you into amoment of reflection.
Take a deep breath and just askyourself where have I let the

(07:24):
world define my worth, and whatwould it look like to reclaim my
identity in Christ?
Today?
Tommy gives us a beautifulpractice in this chapter.
He calls it affirming the truth.
He encourages us to speak wordsof life over ourselves, even

(07:45):
when we don't fully believe themyet.
So here's today's joyaffirmation I am God's
masterpiece, created for ajoyful purpose.
Let's say it together, ready Iam God's masterpiece created for
a joyful purpose.

(08:05):
Let's say it together, ready Iam God's masterpiece, created
for a joyful purpose.
Say it again, maybe a littleslower this time, and let't have
an age limit.
It's not too late.

(08:26):
You haven't missed your moment.
You are exactly where God canmeet you, shape you and use you.
So today I want to encourageyou.
Every time you catch yourselfslipping into those old identity

(08:47):
traps, whether it's self-doubtcomparison or shame.
Stop and remind yourself.
That is not who I am.
I am God's, I am loved.
I am being renewed every day.
Here's something practical thatyou can try this week Write
down three things three, I amstatements grounded in God's

(09:10):
truth.
Post them somewhere you'll seethem your bathroom, your mirror,
your phone lock screen, yourplanner.
Just somewhere where you seethem all the time.
Here are a few to get youstarted.
I am deeply loved by God.
I am not defined by my past.
I am stepping into joy withpurpose.

(09:33):
Friend, your identity is safewith the one who made you.
You don't have to search for itor earn it or build it.
You only need to remember itand live from that place of
grace.
Thank you so much for spendingthis time with me today.

(09:56):
If this message encouraged you,I'd love it.
If you share it with a friendwho needs a reminder of who she
really is, and if you haven'tyet, be sure to subscribe so you
don't miss the next episode.
Day nine is coming up and it'sanother powerful one.

(10:16):
Until next time, stay rooted intruth, stay open to joy and
never forget whose you truly are.
I hope y'all go out and have agreat day and we'll see you next
time on the Empty Nest Quest.
Bye.
Thank you for joining us on theEmpty Nest Quest.

(10:38):
We hope today's episode broughtyou inspiration, insight and a
sense of community.
Remember this is your time tothrive.
If you enjoyed the show, besure to subscribe, leave a
review and share it with friends.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Stay connected with us on YouTube and Instagram at
Empty Nest Quest Podcast formore resources and updates.
Until next time, keep embracingthe journey and thriving on
your empty nest quest.