Breaking Down the Habit of Complaints - PT1 #147

Ready to break free from the endless loop of complaints? Join me in this first episode of a four part-series on complaining.

In this episode, I explore why complaining rarely solves problems. The key takeaway: redirecting your energy toward proactive solutions can change your life.

Inspired by Dr. James Mellon's "Mental Muscle: 16 Weeks of Spiritual Boot Camp," I'll explore the foundation of complaining and how it reflects our unconscious mind. 

• When are you most likely to complain? 
• What situations or relationships trigger your complaints? 
• And most importantly, what can you do about it? 

I'll delve into these questions and more, using insights from Randy Pausch's Last Lecture to guide our thoughts. 

By the end of our discussion, I hope to inspire you to invest your energy into solving problems rather than complaining about them, and in doing so, achieve greater happiness and fulfillment in your life.

As always, thanks for listening!

You can find Dr. James Mellon's book, "Mental Muscle", here on Amazon:
https://a.co/d/2Eo6s4y

You can find me here:

Dr. Thor on Instagram @drthor.tv
Dr. Thor on TikTok @drthor.tv

Website: https://drthor.tv/

Episode Transcript

Thor Challgren (00:00):
What you're supposed to do when you don't
like a thing is change it.
If you can't change it, changethe way you think about it,
don't complain.
Those are the words of MayaAngelou and named Notre Dame
football coach.
Lou Holtz said never tell yourproblems to anyone.
20% don't care and the other80% are glad you have them.

(00:24):
I'm not sure if other peopleare glad that you have them, but
it is worth considering.
Do we complain too much?
This week I start a new serieson complaining.
Hi, I'm Thor Challgren.
Welcome to every day and youthought where I share a new
thought, a new perspective.
And this week I'm talking allabout complaining Because I just

(00:48):
finished the second week of a16 week program.
This comes from mental muscle.
This is a program 16 weeks ofspiritual boot camp.
I'm doing it live with Dr JamesMellon, but his book is
available on Amazon.
Put the link in the showdescription below.
And I have to tell you this issuch a great lesson for me

(01:10):
because this is actually thesecond take of me recording this
episode, because I did theentire first take and I want to
edit it and discovered hey,where's the sound?
Apparently, for some reason, Ihad no sound on that take.
So in that moment I had achoice Was I can gonna complain

(01:34):
about it or was I going to dosomething about it and in this
case I could change it.
I can go back and record itagain.
So I'm going to trust thatthere is a reason why I am now
re recording this episode again,but that's not why I'm here.
But I just think it was superinteresting and funny to me that
that actually happened on theepisode where I was introducing

(01:58):
the idea of no complaining.
I'm sharing this because I'vedone this journey.
Now I've done mental muscle,the live program.
Probably this is at least myfifth time, and each time I do
it I learn a new distinction.
So I'm gonna share this week mythoughts on this idea of
complaining.
It is also interesting thatdoctor James has put complaining

(02:23):
and no complaining as sort ofthe very beginning foundation of
a sixteen week program, becauseit is foundational in the way
that we decide to use our mind.
When we are complaining, oftenwe're unconscious, we're not
thinking about things or we'replaying the role of a victim,

(02:44):
and so this idea of spending anentire week of looking at do you
complain about things and if so, what is that say what are the
belief systems behind that?
So that's really why you'redoing this.
Again, I highly recommendlooking at the book.
There's a lot more where hetalks about it.
But what I'm gonna do is sharemy own experiences and

(03:05):
apparently my podcast episodeexperiences in complaining and,
for the record, I did notcomplain, I didn't even swear I
did, I was just like okay, Idon't have any audio, what am I
gonna do about it?
And that's the place that Ihope that you get you.
But for right now, the firstthing you can do between now and
24 hours from now is look atyour own life and examine, be

(03:28):
mindful of the times when youmay be complained.
What you're looking for are thecircumstances.
Why do you complain?
When are you most likely tocomplain, and about what Is it
about?
Situations?
Is it about relationships?
Is it about your schedule, yourtime?
Whatever it is?
Notice, pay attention to whyyou are complaining.

(03:52):
And then tomorrow we're goingto get into definitions of what
complaining is and I'm going toshare my own personal definition
in one way that I think abouthow to avoid complaining, how to
change it, how to fix it.
I want to close this episodewith a quote from Randy Pausch.
You may know him from the lastlecture.

(04:13):
He was a university professorwho knew that he had a limited
amount of time left in his lifeand he wanted to pass down his
knowledge, his wisdom, to hisfamily.
So he gave this lecture calledthe last lecture.
You can look it up and here'swhat he said.
I think this is just beautiful,brilliant thoughts, he said,
"If you took one-tenth theenergy you put into complaining

(04:37):
and applied it to solving theproblem, you'd be surprised at
how well things can work out.
Complaining does not work as astrategy.
We all have finite time andenergy.
Any time we spend whining isunlikely to help us achieve our
goals and it won't make us anyhappier.

(05:00):
That's the show for today.
I hope you enjoy this.
If you're watching on YouTube,please hit like and subscribe to
the show.
If you're listening to thepodcast, please subscribe to the
show on your favorite podcastapp.
As always, thanks for watching.
As always, thanks for listening.