July 2, 2024 • 43 mins
How do first responders navigate the challenging terrain of maintaining control in their professional lives while relinquishing it in their personal and spiritual journeys? Today, we sit down with Jeremy Wade, the Executive Director of Mission First Alliance, who shares his transformative journey from a Seattle Police Officer to leading a non-profit aimed at supporting first responders. Jeremy opens up about his early career, the critical incidents he faced, and the immense struggles he observed among his colleagues and their families. His firsthand experiences led him to focus on peer support, resilience, and wellness within the force, all underpinned by his unwavering faith.
Our conversation takes a deep dive into the unique challenges first responders face when surrendering to God, especially in a profession that values control and composure. Jeremy discusses the critical balance and self-awareness needed to prevent work from becoming an escape from deeper personal issues. We also highlight the invaluable insights from Neil Anderson's book "Victory Over Darkness," which can help first responders struggling with their identity and balance in life. This episode underscores the importance of mental health resources, peer support, and the role of faith in navigating the intense pressures of the job.
In our final segment, we delve into the Mission First Alliance's efforts to build a national support network for first responders and their families, emphasizing the power of faith-based support systems. Jeremy talks about the various initiatives aimed at uniting, equipping, and supporting those who serve our communities, including virtual gatherings, leader summit retreats, and a nationwide alliance directory. We wrap up by expressing our heartfelt gratitude to Jeremy for sharing his story and insights, and we encourage our listeners to connect, suggest future guests, and stay updated with our latest episodes. Tune in for an episode filled with inspiration, hope, and practical advice for building resilience and support within first responder communities.
As a First Responder, you are critical in keeping our communities safe. However, the stress and trauma of the job can take a toll on your mental health and family life.
If you're interested in personal coaching, contact Jerry Lund at 801-376-7124. Let's work together to get you where you want to be and ensure a happy and healthy career.
Podcast Website www.enduringthebadgepodcast.com/
Podcast Instagram www.instagram.com/enduringthebadgepodcast/
Podcast Facebook www.facebook.com/EnduringTheBadgePodcast/
Podcast Calendar https://calendly.com/enduringthebadge/enduring-the-badge-podcast
Personal Coaching https://calendly.com/enduringthebadge/15min
Host Instagram www.instagram.com/jerryfireandfuel/
Host Facebook www.facebook.com/jerrydeanlund
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jerry (00:02):
Welcome to today's episode of Enduring the Badge
podcast.
I'm your host, jerry Dean Lund,and if you haven't already done
so, please take out your phoneand hit that subscribe button.
I don't want you to miss anupcoming episode.
And, hey, while your phone'sout, please give us a rating and
review.
On whichever platform youlisten to this podcast on, such
as iTunes, apple Podcasts andSpotify, it helps this podcast
(00:22):
grow and the reason why, whenthis gets positive ratings and
reviews, those platforms likeApple Podcasts and Spotify show
this to other people that neverlistened to this podcast before,
and that allows our podcast togrow and make more of an impact
in other people's lives.
So if you would do that, Iwould appreciate that from the
bottom of my heart.
My very special guest today isJeremy Wade.
(00:43):
How you doing, jeremy, reallygood.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, thanks for coming on.
Tell the audience a little bitabout yourself and what you're
doing.
Jeremy (00:52):
Yeah, I appreciate this opportunity.
Jeremy Wade, I'm the ExecutiveDirector of Mission First
Alliance, a non-profit.
My background that got me hereto where I'm at today started in
the Seattle area where I'm bornand raised.
My wife, our four kids are allborn and raised in that area and
(01:14):
I worked for the Seattle PoliceDepartment for 13 years.
I got hired at 26 years old in2008, a week after our second
child was born and I was all in,loved everything about the job,
had some big things happen incritical instance in my first
couple of years and just lovedeverything about the job.
(01:38):
I was all in, you know, justloved it.
But I definitely felt, you know,some struggles early on in my
career and saw some of the otherpolice officers in my
department struggling withthings just as negative impacts
that come from the job.
And I think that while I had mygoals and my hopes and my dreams
(02:01):
for my career early on in myfirst couple of years being a
young officer, I think that ittook a hard turn and I
definitely went anotherdirection with my career, just
coming alongside and supportingand serving other officers on
the department and theirfamilies on the department and
(02:21):
then first responders in theregion and around the country
and their families on thedepartment and then first
responders in the region andaround the country, and I just
have such a heart for those thatserve and sacrifice every
single day for our communitiesand just saw firsthand some of
the impacts, for the ways thatit can affect us, affect our
families, affect just our livesin general.
(02:42):
So, yeah, that was some of mycareer in the Seattle Police
Department.
I worked in patrol mostly outof the East Precinct, which was
the precinct that we gave up inthat chop chas through the riots
in 2020.
And then I had to spend acouple years training all of our
(03:03):
brand new officers that werefirst hired as recruits and
through going through theWashington State Academy and
through field training.
Loved everything about that tojust come alongside them and
support them and direct them andtrain them in their first year
on the department.
And then my last five years onthe department, I was one of our
(03:25):
two full-time peer supportcoordinators, had the
opportunity to train our wholedepartment in resilience and
wellness as mandatory in-servicetraining in 2018.
Riots hit in Seattle had anopportunity, with a few others,
(03:48):
to launch and start our veryfirst wellness unit in the
Seattle Police Department, whichwas just all of it, felt like
it was so timely and just soneeded because of all the
challenges and the strugglesthat we faced there in the
department.
Jerry (04:02):
Yeah, yeah, definitely a challenging time that you went
through.
So where are you?
What are you doing now?
Where are you at today?
Jeremy (04:10):
Yeah, we, a little bit over two years ago, we stepped
out in faith.
We moved across the country toTennessee.
We're in Cleveland, tennessee,now, and I just continue to feel
that burden to where I lovedall the opportunities to support
(04:31):
officers and family members onthe department, their peer
support and resilience andwellness and all of that.
And I love seeing the directionthat our culture is going in
more support, more traumasupport, more addiction recovery
support, more family supportjust so much more support.
But my Christian faith is soimportant to me and I struggled
(04:57):
in my faith in the first coupleyears on the department where it
took me over two years to meetanother Christian officer.
I just realized that myidentity was all wrapped up in
the badge and the job and whatit entailed and put that above
my wife and my marriage and mykids and just every other aspect
(05:18):
of my life which just hadeverything out of balance.
And God got a hold of my life,I recognized that I couldn't do
it on my own, I couldn't do italone, which I was trying to.
I was trying to controleverything.
I was trying to do it on my ownstrength and I couldn't.
So after the Lord got a hold ofme.
(05:40):
My faith became a central pieceof me and in my life, and even
as a police officer in Seattle.
And so, all that to say, I loveall the support for first
responders, but I could see thatthere was a lack of spiritual
support in our country for firstresponders and their families
(06:04):
and their families.
And even though there arechaplains which I oversaw our
chaplains program in the SeattlePolice Department and even
though there are faith-basedministries and resources for
first responders, what Irecognized is, when I was about
two years on that apartment andI was searching for resources, I
struggled to find any.
I struggled to find any otherChristian police officers, I
struggled to find ministries andresources.
And then when I reached out toour chaplain, he was actually
(06:27):
more discouraging thanencouraging and I just struggled
.
I felt isolated, I felt alone.
And then over the years, as Igot more and more involved, I
saw that there were a lot ofministries and there were a lot
of resources and there were goodchaplains out there, but they
were all doing their own thingtoo, all independent, all
isolated, no awareness of eachother.
(06:49):
And then I've talked to firstresponders all over the country
and they all say the same thingslike.
That's great that there wasresources out there.
I didn't know that any of themexisted.
None of them were availablewhen I needed them or when I was
searching.
So all that to say, it's led usout to Tennessee.
We took a step of faith.
(07:16):
We felt like it was something weprayed about for years and it
was just.
We felt like God was calling usout to be able to do this full
time, on a larger scale bit overa year ago, as a national
Christian gospel-focused firstresponder alliance of
organizations and chaplains andchurches and individuals and
first responders and spousesjust all over the country that
feel isolated and alone, to beable to come together in this
alliance for greater awareness,for greater support, for greater
(07:39):
just collaboration so that theycan all be more effective
together, more effective asministries and resources, more
effective as chaplains orchurches or first responders,
and doing the work day in andday out.
So it's just cool to see what'scome together in a short amount
of time to where we alreadyhave over 80 members a part of
(08:02):
this alliance and more than halfof those are organizations
across the country that are justhungry for that support, hungry
for that connection andcollaboration, and you know, to
be able to come together andwork together with other
like-minded people and for evenfor first responders and family
members to be able to cometogether in this alliance and be
(08:23):
more supported.
Jerry (08:29):
Yeah, that's.
It's an awesome mission and Ithink there's a lot of power in
right uniting and kind of well,right, creating an alliance.
Essentially.
You know there's just somethingabout that right that elevates
the connection, I guess.
Jeremy (08:43):
Yeah, I think that we, I think that we know that there's
so much power in collaborationand working together.
But I think that you may haveseen what I've seen in the first
responder world Unfortunately,there's a lot of silos and
there's a lot of, you know, egosand there's a lot of I'm doing
this and I'm doing that, and youknow I mean and and and and.
(09:04):
Just, you know, by good peoplewith good missions, doing good
things, they end up kind of on atrack doing it alone and where
they could be so much moreeffective together and they,
like a lot of these resourcesand ministries, have different
strengths and weaknesses.
You know some of them areputting on, you know, a
conference, an annual conference, which is amazing, you know,
(09:29):
but how do we support them andconnect them through the rest of
the year, you know?
So what are the other resources?
Or you know that's great thatthere's this trauma support, but
now they need marriage support,you know.
Or now they need something else, it's like.
So how can we all kind of cometogether and work together, you
know, so that the end result isthat more first responders and
family members feel supportedand have hope day in and day out
(09:51):
for what they're doing.
I just feel like so many todayaround the country are losing
hope and they need support andthey need hope.
Jerry (10:02):
Yeah, I totally agree.
I want to go back to somethingthat you were talking about.
The first two years on your jobyou kind of felt maybe a little
bit disconnected, maybe fromGod, right?
Or was that fair to say yes,yeah, can you?
Jeremy (10:20):
tell me a little bit about that.
Yeah, definitely.
I think it was a combination ofcritical incidents that I was
involved in, like we had in myfirst year.
We had Officer Timothy Brennanof the Seattle Police Department
shot, ambushed and murdered inmy precinct in my B a couple
(10:41):
hours before my shift started.
And then the Lakewood fourofficers sitting in the coffee
shop just south of Seattle.
And then a Pierce County deputya month later in just south of
Seattle on life support and thenkilled in the line of duty
resulting from his injuries.
And then some other incidentslike locating a bank robbery
(11:02):
suspect that ended in a shootoutin my first while I was on FTO.
Just a lot of things happenedreal quick in my at the
beginning of my career in acombination with working a shift
where I was working most Sundaymornings and I couldn't go to
church with my family, so Iwasn't going to church as often.
(11:22):
Uh, I didn't have any otherChristian, you know, police
officers that I could see.
Uh, and just, you know, havethat example to follow.
Like, what does it look like tobe a Christian and police
officer?
And?
And so I felt like now, lookingback, I feel like I had two.
I just had a split identity.
You know, I was like, okay,this is what it means and this
is what it looks like to be agood cop at work, and then I'll
(11:44):
go home and be the best husbandand father and Christian man as
I can when I'm off duty.
And it's just like that's notGod's design, that's not God's
intent, like we can't we have.
You know, we are who we are, wehave one identity and we are
that way and we live it out inevery aspect of our life or it's
(12:05):
.
You know, things are going tofall apart at some point
somewhere, some way, you know,along the way.
So I just think it was acombination of a whole lot of
things that just um, thatimpacted me, um, and and just my
priorities in the wrong places.
You know just that I wasputting my I can look back and I
was putting my job above myfamily, above my faith and above
(12:27):
so many things, and it was justcatching up with me and at
about two years on, I just itcame to a head and I realized I
was not where I wanted to be, Iwas not the man who I wanted to
be and I just gave my life tothe Lord in a way that I had
never had before and God got ahold of my life.
And now, looking back, like itis just amazing to see, you know
(12:51):
, just the peace and the joy andthe purpose that I have, you
know, in Christ and identity inChrist, and that's really where
the name Mission First Alliancecame from.
I think that first respondersare very mission driven, but
their first and foremost missionusually is for the badge, you
know, and for the job and forthe.
It is a calling, which it is,you know.
(13:12):
But when you put that missionabove all others, other things
are going to fall to the wayside.
You know your marriage is goingto be impacted, your family is
going to be impacted, your faithis going to be impacted.
That's just not God's design.
God calls us, you know, to livemission first for him, you know,
to love the Lord, your God,with all your heart, with all
(13:33):
your soul, with all your mind,you know.
And then to love your neighboras yourself, like.
Those are the two greatestcommandments.
That is our, you know, calling.
The greatest commandment tofollow him and the great
commission to love others, andthat's the mission that he's
given us.
So mission first, like our heart, is that first responders would
live mission first for Christand live that out in their jobs
(13:55):
day in and day out.
And I have seen just howeverything falls in line.
And I think that there were somany in the Seattle Police
Department that were looking atme in the midst of that, where I
was had an amazing opportunityto just be in a support role
through the riots.
But so many were looking at melike how can you still have
peace, how can you still just,you know, have a sense of
(14:19):
purpose, how can you just not,you know, be in such a negative
space where there wasn't asingle Seattle police officer
that didn't want to leave thedepartment through those times,
and almost half the departmenthas left since then, in the last
three years, you know.
But I think that where we haveso much of our identity tied up
in the jobs, you know likethings can fall apart and so
(14:41):
like that's really just, youknow my heart's desires that
they would have that samepurpose and passion, you know,
for the Lord first and then justto live it out in their job and
their family and every aspectof their life.
Jerry (14:55):
Yeah, what?
What does it look like?
Or maybe you can describe tolike give yourself up to the
Lord.
What was that like for you?
Can you share that or do youmind sharing?
Jeremy (15:06):
that.
Jerry (15:06):
Yeah.
Jeremy (15:07):
Yeah, yeah, I think like if I was to put it in one word,
it'd be like surrender, which,as a police officer, like that's
a bad word Like we don't, youknow, and we know what it means
for you know, uh, you know asuspect to surrender, you know,
and for them to give up controland they are restrained and they
are handcuffed and you knowtheir, you know their next steps
(15:29):
are, you know, out of theirhands, you know, and now are in
the judicial system because ofyou know, whatever they did.
Like I just think it comes downto surrender.
God calls us, you know, tosurrender our hearts, you know,
to him and surrender our livesto him, you know, to abide in
him, which is dependence andsurrender.
You know, like John 15, five,abide in me and apart from me,
(15:52):
you can do nothing.
So I think it just comes downto surrender, which I think is
one of the things that makes itso hard for first responders.
Responders is like we're trainedfrom day one, you know, to uh,
uh, maintain control and to havecontrol, and we hold on to
control and we don't want togive up control, you know, um,
(16:13):
but God doesn't want us to justhave a knowledge of him.
He wants us to live for him andsurrender our lives to him.
So for me, I just like I had togive up control, which was hard
to do.
It was so hard to do.
And you know, give up control,for you know my hopes and my
(16:35):
dreams and my plans and what Iwanted out of life and just say
Lord, I'm here, my life is yours, you know, and I want to live
for you.
So I don't know, that's what itlooks like a lot for me in my
life.
Jerry (16:48):
Yeah, up until that did you have like this, maybe
nagging feeling that somethingwas missing or something like
that, or just something you feltsomething was off.
Jeremy (16:59):
Yeah, definitely felt like something was off, and I
think that we always talk about,you know, like balance in our
lives and you know, and work andlife balance and all those
things which I think, to somedegree, even when I was training
resilience, I think it'ssomething of a myth.
I don't think it's perfectlypossible to have perfect balance
, Sure, but yeah, I think thatit just felt like there was
something that was off and Ithink that in so many, so many
(17:23):
people, they can feel that likethere's just something missing.
You know, or just have a lackof joy or a lack of, you know
just, positivity in my life, orI have a lack of purpose, or I
have a lack of, you know,balance, and I think it's just
out of misplaced priorities.
But I think that, firstresponders, when I was training
(17:44):
resilience and wellness, I thinkthat we're some of the worst at
self-awareness, you know, and Ithink that some of that comes
by the nature of who we are andyou know, I mean we've signed up
like to serve others and tosacrifice for others and to put
others above ourselves.
You know, I mean we've signedup like to serve others and to
sacrifice for others and to putothers above ourselves, you know
, at all costs and like we'veembraced that calling and we
(18:05):
understand that there is asacrifice, but I think, as a
result of it and doing it longenough, like we have just
terrible self-awareness.
You know to how the job'saffecting us, to you know where
things might be out of line inour lives and we don't have
people like speaking into ourlives sometimes to you know, to
point us in the right direction,especially in our personal
(18:25):
lives, and so, yes, it justtotally felt like things were,
you know, out of balance.
There was so much more tensionin my marriage.
I wasn't around as much for mytwo young kids at that time it
wasn't the husband I wanted tobe, it wasn't the father I
wanted to be, it wasn't the manI wanted to be, and I realized
it wasn't me having more balance, it wasn't me putting my family
(18:49):
first, it wasn't any of thosethings, it was putting God first
, living mission first for God,and then everything else.
Falling in line from that.
I think one of the books that Iread that I've loved the most is
Victory Over Darkness from NeilAnderson.
He just talks about ouridentity in Christ and I think
(19:10):
that every first respondershould read that book If they
had any inkling of things.
Things aren't, you know are outof line or you know something's
missing.
You know, I just think thatthat's such an amazing book, you
know, just to speak into ouridentity and who we are and how
we should live out our lives.
Jerry (19:29):
I think sometimes, as first responders, when we think
something's missing or out ofline, excuse me it comes back as
like oh more money, so I needto work more overtime.
That will be the fix of thisfeeling or thought.
What do you think about that?
Jeremy (19:46):
Yeah, I agree.
Well, yes, I agree completely.
And I would say on top of that,I think that work as a first
responder, especially wherewe're so like control driven,
mission, mission driven andcontrol driven Work, becomes
almost like our safe place.
Like work, like where there ischaos in our personal lives.
(20:10):
Like work becomes like our safeplace, like we, like it's
something we're good at, wethrive at.
You know, we can try tomaintain control as best we can,
you know.
There, you know, have thatauthority, have that you know.
And just like purpose, you know.
And so I feel like there's somany that, yeah, when things
start spiraling in theirpersonal life, they almost
(20:32):
double down at work and workmore and work harder.
You know, and and and I thinkthat that's one of the things
that's so challenging for firstresponders, where mental health
and suicide, you know, are soprevalent.
I think it becomes hard toidentify those that are
struggling the most as firstresponders, because among their
(20:54):
coworkers and their supervisors,sometimes the ones that are
struggling the most in theirpersonal lives don't look like
they're struggling at work,because that's where they thrive
and they're coming and they'regoing to put everything into it
at work, where the month beforea police officer committed
(21:16):
suicide, was appeared to be bytheir coworkers and supervisors
their most productive month,their hardest working month, and
looking like they had it alltogether, and some of their
coworkers and supervisors wereblindsided by it, but that was
their.
I think that that's our safeplace.
So, yeah, I agree completely.
(21:37):
I think that we can doeverything and I think that
that's also what makes it toughon the church, or chaplains or,
you know, ministries you know tocome alongside and support them
.
I personally feel like ournation's first responders are
one of the greatest, like unseenmission fields for the church,
because just the culture offirst responders is of strength
(22:01):
and control and we don't showweaknesses and we, you know,
hold it all together.
And so on the outside, it lookslike we've got it together, and
even the first responders thatare attending churches, it's
like they're not going to be theones that are asking for help.
You know they're not going tobe the ones that are breaking
down.
They're going to look like theygot it all together, even
though so many times at home,you know, things might be
(22:23):
falling apart.
I think that it was so.
I think it was so eye openingto me once I was doing peer
support full-time as a full-timecoordinator and overseeing our
peer support team of a hundredpeer support you know, support
officers and supervisors on thedepartment and doing resilience
and wellness training andstarting our wellness unit.
When I was doing it full timeand supporting other departments
(22:44):
around the state, I think itjust opened my eyes to the
extensive issues there are withmental health and physical
health and spiritual health andjust the struggles that come
from the job.
Um, I think when we just hearthe one-offs you know that, uh,
you know this, this, um, youknow, first responder committed
(23:06):
suicide or this.
You know, uh, you know divorceor this, you know whatever when
we hear the one-offs, like wedon't, it's just like it's just
the trickle.
You know, we hear that, we seethe trickle, but when I was
doing a full time, it just feltlike.
It felt like a bottomless well.
Yeah, like like we are just soreactive.
All we are doing is reacting,reacting to the critical
(23:26):
incidents, reacting to thosethat are struggling the most,
trying to come alongside them,and it feels like it is a
bottomless well in terms of howmany were struggling One of the
times that it became the mostobvious in the Seattle Police
(23:47):
Department to the leadershipthere is.
We had, in 2018, an officercommit suicide and didn't
immediately pass away from hissuicide attempt.
He was on life support for acouple days, but during that
period of time, the name of thatofficer was not released, and
it wasn't released immediately,you know, for privacy and for
family.
In that span of time, therewere over 20 names that were
(24:12):
circulating around thedepartment.
Was it this officer?
Was it this officer?
Was it this officer?
And I think that where commandstaff and leadership they're not
going to see those they'restruggling.
I think that they were like theeyes were opened in terms of oh
wow, are there really that manystruggling?
That it could have been, youknow, this officer that
(24:33):
committed suicide.
We had two spouses attemptsuicide during the riots In the
previous year.
We had a spouse, a young spouse, who was pregnant with their
second child, commit suicide.
So, like the impacts of thesejobs are just, you know, so
prevalent all the way across thecountry among first responders,
(24:55):
among families, and I justthink that so many don't see the
struggles because on theoutside, we appear like we've
got it all together and we cango to work and do a great job
and serve others and put othersabove ourselves, while
everything at home is fallingapart.
Jerry (25:11):
Yeah, I think you said that really well how that all
kind of wraps together.
You know as as one, as onething.
You know, you're right, likethe chaos and control that we go
to is somewhat controllable,but at home that is that that
chaos is not really controllable.
(25:32):
In some ways it can be right Ifyou dedicate yourself to to
fixing those problems, but it'sgenerally very difficult to do,
I think, for first responders todedicate themselves to do that
and then it spirals out ofcontrol, like with peer support
and stuff like that when I wasteaching it.
Also, it's like no departmentis going to escape what's going
(25:56):
on with mental health, no matterhow small you are, like it's
still.
Like if even like in volunteerfire and EMS departments and
stuff like that, it's almostmore prevalent, I think,
sometimes because they don'thave the resources that some of
these other departments have.
Jeremy (26:14):
Yes, I agree, and I think that for me, the support
(26:40):
is what's needed.
They just need support.
You know the first responders,you know the crisis hotlines,
you know the peer support team,the resources inside the
department, the resource outsidethe department.
Let's have as many resourcesavailable to them, you know,
because it may not be thisresource, it may be this one
that is, you know, connects oris preferred, you know, but the
more resources the better, sothat you know people aren't
(27:03):
falling through the cracks.
And yes, I agree that somedepartments, some parts of the
country, you know, have so muchmore support than others.
I just think that where youknow they're not supported, you
know there's just so many moreopportunities, you know, for
them to fall through the cracks,for them to just be isolated
and alone.
(27:23):
You know, suffering in silence,where others don't even know it
.
I think that we know thatthere's so much isolation, you
know, in these.
You know first respondercultures too.
I mean, it's like I was amazed,you know, at hearing that when
I first went to the Academy ofyou know you know first
responder cultures too.
I mean, it's like I was amazed,you know, at hearing that when
I first went to the Academy of.
You know, you know the KevinGilmartin stuff of you know,
just, you know is very quicklyin your career you're going to
(27:44):
start to lose some of thefriends that you used to have
and all of a sudden you're onlygoing to have other you know
police officers as friends andlike it just it happens, and I
mean it happens because of howmuch you're putting into work
and how much others can relatewith you and you connect with
them and you know so, yeah, itjust happens.
And then you know we just puteverything into work and work
(28:06):
hard and it's like then, as soonas we're off, we want to be off
and we just start to isolateourselves and that isolation,
like I just think is so deadly,like I just think is so deadly,
is so toxic, is so, you know,harmful.
You know, just to be soisolated and not to feel like
(28:27):
you have support, yeah, I thinkis definitely a challenge and I
my heart is that.
You know I would love to seethis alliance grow, you know, so
that there is so much moresupport readily available for
first responders and familymembers.
Yeah, what would that look liketo you?
Yeah, through this alliance, Iwould love to see the ministries
(28:48):
and the organizations, thechaplains, the churches you know
like all to be able to cometogether.
You know to you know, underthis alliance, that we can, you
know, have an alliance directory, that we can have resources all
across the country that we canhave, you know, this network
that's available for the firstresponders and the spouses that
they can just look in theircommunities and see here are the
(29:10):
resources, here's what'savailable.
Here's what's available for youknow, trauma support for you
know marriage support for youknow, peer support for you know
just you know, trauma supportfor you know, marriage support
for you know, peer support foryou know just you know, support
in their faith.
So I think that, while thesupport resources you know of,
you know mental health and otherresources are growing across
(29:31):
the country, I think that thisfaith-based support for those
that are needing that andwanting that is not there yet in
terms of, you know, widespreadand effective support available
to them.
So I would love to see that growand I'd love to see the
(29:52):
churches that have a heart forfirst responders to be more
effective too.
I just think that there are somany churches that don't
understand the culture, and sothey have.
They have a heart and they wantto support, but they I hear
from pastors over and over againthat they just don't even know
where to start, even know whatto do.
You know, and so, like ourheart is through this alliance
(30:14):
that we can be uniting andequipping all who have a heart
to reach our nation's firstresponders for Christ, you know,
with real hope in Christ.
So we want to be uniting themin this alliance and then we
want to be supporting them andequipping them and connecting
them to all be more effectivetogether.
Jerry (30:32):
Do you offer or do you have like a hotline that's maybe
, or some way to like, if I'm aChristian officer and I'm in
need of help or wanting help,that I can reach out to you or
to somebody, or how does thatwork?
Jeremy (30:47):
Yeah, all of my contact information is on our website
missionfirstalliancecom.
It's all spelled out,missionfirstalliancecom.
It's all spelled out,missionfirstalliancecom.
(31:12):
We have an alliance directoryto where our alliance nationwide
is growing rapidly just becauseof this need to come together
and these organizations aroundthe country and for first
responders, spouses, to lookinto it.
And we have membership which isfree and I would encourage even
any Christian first responderor spouse to become a member and
join this alliance as well.
We're doing so many things totry to offer resources, to try
(31:33):
to offer opportunities for themto get connected and supported.
We're doing a monthly virtualgathering on Zoom where we've
had, you know, 30 to 50 cometogether every month.
We're doing three leader summitretreats this year which are
free to attend One in Florida,one in Arkansas, one in Idaho.
We're doing our first nationalnetworking conference so any
(31:56):
Christian first responders orspouses, or chaplains, or
churches or ministries can cometogether and just, you know, be
able to be more supported andconnected and learn.
You know what's out there.
We've just started acollaborative blog.
We're just starting acollaborative you know podcast.
You know, to highlight, youknow what's going on around the
country.
You know we're going to startputting out some training videos
(32:17):
.
So, yeah, I'd say just you know, jump on our website, become a
member, contact us, go on theAlliance directory to see what's
out there.
I think our my desire is justfor no first responder or spouse
to feel like they're alone.
You know that they'restruggling alone, that there are
so many that are out there thatcare for them and love them and
(32:39):
support them and want to comealongside them.
You know, and we just want themto get connected.
Jerry (32:47):
To come alongside somebody and be there for them.
You don't have to know themright, you just have to have a
heart to care for them yes, yes,and that is what we are hoping
in this alliance.
Jeremy (33:04):
I think that there are so many that have a heart for
first responders, you know, butdon't know what to do because
they don't.
They've never been a firstresponder, they understand the
culture, and so we're justtrying to say, like we want to
unite and equip all, we want tobring them all together and and
show them that even anyoneinside a church can come
alongside and support them.
And I think that some of thestuff that we're hoping to do
over time, like the peer support, training that you know, trust
(33:28):
is the most important thing,which happens over time and
through a relationshiprelationship.
Yeah, so for the resources andthe organizations and chaplains
and those that want to comealongside and support first
responders, like we want to comealongside and and help them,
equip them, show them that youknow to understand the culture
(33:48):
and just some ways to be able tostart to build those
relationships and build trust.
And, you know, make themselvesavailable.
Yeah, I think it's just, Ithink it's just taking that
first step which you know makethemselves available.
Yeah, I think it's just, Ithink it's just taking that
first step, which you know isalways the hardest step right
Taking, taking that first step,yeah, and which makes me one.
Jerry (34:04):
before I let you go, I want to backtrack something a
little bit, you know, cause I'msure people that are listening
and want to know this like so,when you decided to move to
Tennessee, like how did thatcome about?
A little bit and I'm guessingsome you, probably people around
you were like you're going todo what.
Jeremy (34:21):
Yeah, a lot of people.
Yeah, um, uh, yeah.
We bought our house sightunseen.
We moved across the country ina matter of weeks.
Um, you know, and, and, and.
While I'll say, on one hand, uh, it and it happened quickly and
not everyone around us kind ofknew that we might make that
(34:43):
move, but it was something thatwe were praying about for almost
10 years my wife and I.
And God was stirring us andleading us and we were coming
alongside more local andnational ministries and we were
praying.
Just you know God, you know,direct our paths, we're
available to you, we'll gowherever you want.
So the vaccine mandate as acondition of employment was one
(35:08):
of those factors for us, youknow, to just say okay, god, is
this where you're saying it'stime to go.
And ultimately, we took acouple of weeks and we prayed
about it and at the end of acouple of weeks, we just felt
like, yep, god was using that asan opportunity to say go.
And so, based on the nationalministries we were a part of and
(35:29):
volunteering with and I was onthe board with, and things like
that Tennessee was a strategicmove so that we could bring some
of these ministries together.
And even this idea of thisalliance like it wasn't there
when I was in the Seattle PoliceDepartment and it wasn't here
when I first moved out here LikeGod has been directing our
(35:50):
paths and about a year and ahalf ago, like a lot of these
ministry leaders started talkingand had been praying for years,
seeing that there was a need tocome together and we started
having conversations and like itjust, you know, was started out
of a need.
So, like God has been directingour paths, we, yes, moved across
(36:13):
the country.
We knew two people out here inTennessee.
We bought our house sightunseen but, like me, my wife,
our four kids can clearly seeGod's hand in this and have so
much peace and confirmationalong the way that this is
exactly where God wants us to beand this is such a need.
(36:36):
I've even heard from peoplelike you know, travis Yates and
others.
You know that just to say thatthis is so needed and that there
hasn't been anything like thisdone before for first responders
in the faith community to buildan alliance, to come together.
You know, because there's somany silos and so many people
doing things independently andso much isolation among first
(36:58):
responders and spouses.
So there's such a need for this.
So, yeah, I'm excited.
Tennessee is great, we love itout here and it wasn't on our
radar at all a couple years ago.
Jerry (37:11):
Yeah, no, I love the story, I love the journey that
you're taking and what you'redoing.
I think that says a lot aboutyou and your belief and what you
want to accomplish.
And I think it's definitelyneeded because I'm not sure if
you may have heard of thisstatistic like 80% of first
(37:31):
responders put their spiritual Idon't want to say well-being or
spirituality very highly rankedin, you know, in their
priorities.
You know family spirituality,like it was in like the top five
, I think, or maybe in the topthree.
So it's definitely firstresponders are spiritual, I
(37:52):
think, but maybe I don't know.
Are they good?
Are they church going people orjust spiritual?
Jeremy (37:58):
Yeah, yeah, and it doesn't matter, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree, um,and I loved that aspect of even
training, resilience andwellness.
It's like even psychologistsrecognize that spirituality is a
huge component of ourresilience.
You know just having a sense ofpurpose and meaning and
direction.
You know just spiritually.
You know a higher calling andpurpose.
You know just having a sense ofpurpose and meaning and
(38:19):
direction.
You know just spiritually.
You know a higher calling andpurpose.
You know, in our lives, youknow so, to be able to open up
that door and have thatconversation.
I think it is important to somany, but I think that there are
so few examples to follow.
I think that there are so fewlike resources at times.
You know, which is what I felt,you know, and so I feel like
they like like I did, I juststruggled alone, I felt isolated
(38:39):
and alone.
I didn't feel like I knew howto do it, I didn't have any
examples to follow.
So, yes, that's like where I amso excited to see this grow.
You know, to see chaplains, youknow more effective, I think
there's really good chaplainsout there and I think that
they're really chaplains thatyou know are more of there for
the community or the commandstaff or other things and not
there for the officers.
So I just I'm so excited formore effective you know
(39:02):
resources and I think thatthere's just a need for hope.
You know, I just keep goingback to that.
I feel like there's times thatI felt like I was losing hope.
I feel like there's so manyothers that are losing hope in
just the world today and thedirection things are going and
the challenges that lawenforcement and first responders
are facing, and I felt that inwhat felt like the darkest days
(39:27):
in Seattle through the riots in2020.
And they just need hope, butthey need to know where to turn
and there needs to be more good,faith-based resources.
One of the quotes that I lovedusing in my resilience and
wellness training was from amilitary chaplain, chaplain
Robert Preston Taylor, who was aprisoner of war in World War II
(39:48):
, and it's like you just hear inso many of those prisoner of
war stories.
It's like their hope.
You know they had to maintainhope when they thought all was
lost and they had no.
You know.
You know no idea, you know whatthe future would hold.
But he said you know, do notdoubt in the dark what you
believe in the light, and I lovethat quote.
(40:09):
You know, because as firstresponders, we live in the world
of darkness.
You know of just, you knowtrauma and evil and you know
tragedy, and you know we're justconsumed by the darkness.
And where the darkness seems tobe increasing in our world today
, you know it's like, how do wemaintain hope?
How do we, you know, continueto believe and and know, you
(40:29):
know, what we believed before.
You know the trial, before thechallenges, before everything.
Like, how do we maintain thateven through the challenges,
before everything?
Like, how do we maintain thateven through the challenges that
we face?
Because, like, the jobs offirst responders aren't going to
get any easier, the challengesare always going to be there.
But what's our sense of purpose?
What's our perspective?
Where's our source of hope?
You know, and we've got to belike strong in that, like before
(40:53):
the big things happen, becauseit's not a matter of if, it's a
matter of when that nextcritical incident, that next big
call is happening, that nextbig challenge in our career, and
so it's like we have to havethat solid foundation, solid
hope, before it all happens.
Jerry (41:10):
Totally, totally agree with you.
Well, jeremy, I'm excited tosee the Alliance grow and become
more prevalent, you know, outthere for first responders so
they can not feel alone and getthe help that they need and
desire.
And right, we also desire to beum a part of something bigger
than ourselves.
So you know, people hopefullywill join your mission, you know
(41:31):
, to be a part of somethingbigger than themselves.
Jeremy (41:35):
Yeah, I love that.
I hope people would join, wouldsupport uh, you know this
mission um, so that you know all4.6 million of our first
responders and their familymembers can get the support that
they need.
So, yes, we love that.
Jerry (41:49):
Well, thanks for being on today.
I really appreciate it.
Jeremy (41:52):
Yeah, thanks for having me, it was an honor.
Jerry (41:54):
Thanks again for listening.
Don't forget to rate and reviewthe show wherever you access
your podcast.
If you know someone that wouldbe great on the show, please get
a hold of our host, Jerry DeanLund, through the Instagram
handles at JerryFireAndFuel orat EnduringTheBadgePodcast, Also
(42:17):
by visiting the show's website,EnduringTheBadgePodcastcom, for
additional methods of contactand up-to-date information
regarding the show.
Remember, the views andopinions expressed during the
show solely represent those ofour host and the current
episode's guest.
Welcome to today's episode of Enduring the Badge
podcast.
I'm your host, jerry Dean Lund,and if you haven't already done
so, please take out your phoneand hit that subscribe button.
I don't want you to miss anupcoming episode.
And, hey, while your phone'sout, please give us a rating and
review.
On whichever platform youlisten to this podcast on, such
as iTunes, apple Podcasts andSpotify, it helps this podcast
(00:22):
grow and the reason why, whenthis gets positive ratings and
reviews, those platforms likeApple Podcasts and Spotify show
this to other people that neverlistened to this podcast before,
and that allows our podcast togrow and make more of an impact
in other people's lives.
So if you would do that, Iwould appreciate that from the
bottom of my heart.
My very special guest today isJeremy Wade.
(00:43):
How you doing, jeremy, reallygood.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, thanks for coming on.
Tell the audience a little bitabout yourself and what you're
doing.
Jeremy (00:52):
Yeah, I appreciate this opportunity.
Jeremy Wade, I'm the ExecutiveDirector of Mission First
Alliance, a non-profit.
My background that got me hereto where I'm at today started in
the Seattle area where I'm bornand raised.
My wife, our four kids are allborn and raised in that area and
(01:14):
I worked for the Seattle PoliceDepartment for 13 years.
I got hired at 26 years old in2008, a week after our second
child was born and I was all in,loved everything about the job,
had some big things happen incritical instance in my first
couple of years and just lovedeverything about the job.
(01:38):
I was all in, you know, justloved it.
But I definitely felt, you know,some struggles early on in my
career and saw some of the otherpolice officers in my
department struggling withthings just as negative impacts
that come from the job.
And I think that while I had mygoals and my hopes and my dreams
(02:01):
for my career early on in myfirst couple of years being a
young officer, I think that ittook a hard turn and I
definitely went anotherdirection with my career, just
coming alongside and supportingand serving other officers on
the department and theirfamilies on the department and
(02:21):
then first responders in theregion and around the country
and their families on thedepartment and then first
responders in the region andaround the country, and I just
have such a heart for those thatserve and sacrifice every
single day for our communitiesand just saw firsthand some of
the impacts, for the ways thatit can affect us, affect our
families, affect just our livesin general.
(02:42):
So, yeah, that was some of mycareer in the Seattle Police
Department.
I worked in patrol mostly outof the East Precinct, which was
the precinct that we gave up inthat chop chas through the riots
in 2020.
And then I had to spend acouple years training all of our
(03:03):
brand new officers that werefirst hired as recruits and
through going through theWashington State Academy and
through field training.
Loved everything about that tojust come alongside them and
support them and direct them andtrain them in their first year
on the department.
And then my last five years onthe department, I was one of our
(03:25):
two full-time peer supportcoordinators, had the
opportunity to train our wholedepartment in resilience and
wellness as mandatory in-servicetraining in 2018.
Riots hit in Seattle had anopportunity, with a few others,
(03:48):
to launch and start our veryfirst wellness unit in the
Seattle Police Department, whichwas just all of it, felt like
it was so timely and just soneeded because of all the
challenges and the strugglesthat we faced there in the
department.
Jerry (04:02):
Yeah, yeah, definitely a challenging time that you went
through.
So where are you?
What are you doing now?
Where are you at today?
Jeremy (04:10):
Yeah, we, a little bit over two years ago, we stepped
out in faith.
We moved across the country toTennessee.
We're in Cleveland, tennessee,now, and I just continue to feel
that burden to where I lovedall the opportunities to support
(04:31):
officers and family members onthe department, their peer
support and resilience andwellness and all of that.
And I love seeing the directionthat our culture is going in
more support, more traumasupport, more addiction recovery
support, more family supportjust so much more support.
But my Christian faith is soimportant to me and I struggled
(04:57):
in my faith in the first coupleyears on the department where it
took me over two years to meetanother Christian officer.
I just realized that myidentity was all wrapped up in
the badge and the job and whatit entailed and put that above
my wife and my marriage and mykids and just every other aspect
(05:18):
of my life which just hadeverything out of balance.
And God got a hold of my life,I recognized that I couldn't do
it on my own, I couldn't do italone, which I was trying to.
I was trying to controleverything.
I was trying to do it on my ownstrength and I couldn't.
So after the Lord got a hold ofme.
(05:40):
My faith became a central pieceof me and in my life, and even
as a police officer in Seattle.
And so, all that to say, I loveall the support for first
responders, but I could see thatthere was a lack of spiritual
support in our country for firstresponders and their families
(06:04):
and their families.
And even though there arechaplains which I oversaw our
chaplains program in the SeattlePolice Department and even
though there are faith-basedministries and resources for
first responders, what Irecognized is, when I was about
two years on that apartment andI was searching for resources, I
struggled to find any.
I struggled to find any otherChristian police officers, I
struggled to find ministries andresources.
And then when I reached out toour chaplain, he was actually
(06:27):
more discouraging thanencouraging and I just struggled
.
I felt isolated, I felt alone.
And then over the years, as Igot more and more involved, I
saw that there were a lot ofministries and there were a lot
of resources and there were goodchaplains out there, but they
were all doing their own thingtoo, all independent, all
isolated, no awareness of eachother.
(06:49):
And then I've talked to firstresponders all over the country
and they all say the same thingslike.
That's great that there wasresources out there.
I didn't know that any of themexisted.
None of them were availablewhen I needed them or when I was
searching.
So all that to say, it's led usout to Tennessee.
We took a step of faith.
(07:16):
We felt like it was something weprayed about for years and it
was just.
We felt like God was calling usout to be able to do this full
time, on a larger scale bit overa year ago, as a national
Christian gospel-focused firstresponder alliance of
organizations and chaplains andchurches and individuals and
first responders and spousesjust all over the country that
feel isolated and alone, to beable to come together in this
alliance for greater awareness,for greater support, for greater
(07:39):
just collaboration so that theycan all be more effective
together, more effective asministries and resources, more
effective as chaplains orchurches or first responders,
and doing the work day in andday out.
So it's just cool to see what'scome together in a short amount
of time to where we alreadyhave over 80 members a part of
(08:02):
this alliance and more than halfof those are organizations
across the country that are justhungry for that support, hungry
for that connection andcollaboration, and you know, to
be able to come together andwork together with other
like-minded people and for evenfor first responders and family
members to be able to cometogether in this alliance and be
(08:23):
more supported.
Jerry (08:29):
Yeah, that's.
It's an awesome mission and Ithink there's a lot of power in
right uniting and kind of well,right, creating an alliance.
Essentially.
You know there's just somethingabout that right that elevates
the connection, I guess.
Jeremy (08:43):
Yeah, I think that we, I think that we know that there's
so much power in collaborationand working together.
But I think that you may haveseen what I've seen in the first
responder world Unfortunately,there's a lot of silos and
there's a lot of, you know, egosand there's a lot of I'm doing
this and I'm doing that, and youknow I mean and and and and.
(09:04):
Just, you know, by good peoplewith good missions, doing good
things, they end up kind of on atrack doing it alone and where
they could be so much moreeffective together and they,
like a lot of these resourcesand ministries, have different
strengths and weaknesses.
You know some of them areputting on, you know, a
conference, an annual conference, which is amazing, you know,
(09:29):
but how do we support them andconnect them through the rest of
the year, you know?
So what are the other resources?
Or you know that's great thatthere's this trauma support, but
now they need marriage support,you know.
Or now they need something else, it's like.
So how can we all kind of cometogether and work together, you
know, so that the end result isthat more first responders and
family members feel supportedand have hope day in and day out
(09:51):
for what they're doing.
I just feel like so many todayaround the country are losing
hope and they need support andthey need hope.
Jerry (10:02):
Yeah, I totally agree.
I want to go back to somethingthat you were talking about.
The first two years on your jobyou kind of felt maybe a little
bit disconnected, maybe fromGod, right?
Or was that fair to say yes,yeah, can you?
Jeremy (10:20):
tell me a little bit about that.
Yeah, definitely.
I think it was a combination ofcritical incidents that I was
involved in, like we had in myfirst year.
We had Officer Timothy Brennanof the Seattle Police Department
shot, ambushed and murdered inmy precinct in my B a couple
(10:41):
hours before my shift started.
And then the Lakewood fourofficers sitting in the coffee
shop just south of Seattle.
And then a Pierce County deputya month later in just south of
Seattle on life support and thenkilled in the line of duty
resulting from his injuries.
And then some other incidentslike locating a bank robbery
(11:02):
suspect that ended in a shootoutin my first while I was on FTO.
Just a lot of things happenedreal quick in my at the
beginning of my career in acombination with working a shift
where I was working most Sundaymornings and I couldn't go to
church with my family, so Iwasn't going to church as often.
(11:22):
Uh, I didn't have any otherChristian, you know, police
officers that I could see.
Uh, and just, you know, havethat example to follow.
Like, what does it look like tobe a Christian and police
officer?
And?
And so I felt like now, lookingback, I feel like I had two.
I just had a split identity.
You know, I was like, okay,this is what it means and this
is what it looks like to be agood cop at work, and then I'll
(11:44):
go home and be the best husbandand father and Christian man as
I can when I'm off duty.
And it's just like that's notGod's design, that's not God's
intent, like we can't we have.
You know, we are who we are, wehave one identity and we are
that way and we live it out inevery aspect of our life or it's
(12:05):
.
You know, things are going tofall apart at some point
somewhere, some way, you know,along the way.
So I just think it was acombination of a whole lot of
things that just um, thatimpacted me, um, and and just my
priorities in the wrong places.
You know just that I wasputting my I can look back and I
was putting my job above myfamily, above my faith and above
(12:27):
so many things, and it was justcatching up with me and at
about two years on, I just itcame to a head and I realized I
was not where I wanted to be, Iwas not the man who I wanted to
be and I just gave my life tothe Lord in a way that I had
never had before and God got ahold of my life.
And now, looking back, like itis just amazing to see, you know
(12:51):
, just the peace and the joy andthe purpose that I have, you
know, in Christ and identity inChrist, and that's really where
the name Mission First Alliancecame from.
I think that first respondersare very mission driven, but
their first and foremost missionusually is for the badge, you
know, and for the job and forthe.
It is a calling, which it is,you know.
(13:12):
But when you put that missionabove all others, other things
are going to fall to the wayside.
You know your marriage is goingto be impacted, your family is
going to be impacted, your faithis going to be impacted.
That's just not God's design.
God calls us, you know, to livemission first for him, you know,
to love the Lord, your God,with all your heart, with all
(13:33):
your soul, with all your mind,you know.
And then to love your neighboras yourself, like.
Those are the two greatestcommandments.
That is our, you know, calling.
The greatest commandment tofollow him and the great
commission to love others, andthat's the mission that he's
given us.
So mission first, like our heart, is that first responders would
live mission first for Christand live that out in their jobs
(13:55):
day in and day out.
And I have seen just howeverything falls in line.
And I think that there were somany in the Seattle Police
Department that were looking atme in the midst of that, where I
was had an amazing opportunityto just be in a support role
through the riots.
But so many were looking at melike how can you still have
peace, how can you still just,you know, have a sense of
(14:19):
purpose, how can you just not,you know, be in such a negative
space where there wasn't asingle Seattle police officer
that didn't want to leave thedepartment through those times,
and almost half the departmenthas left since then, in the last
three years, you know.
But I think that where we haveso much of our identity tied up
in the jobs, you know likethings can fall apart and so
(14:41):
like that's really just, youknow my heart's desires that
they would have that samepurpose and passion, you know,
for the Lord first and then justto live it out in their job and
their family and every aspectof their life.
Jerry (14:55):
Yeah, what?
What does it look like?
Or maybe you can describe tolike give yourself up to the
Lord.
What was that like for you?
Can you share that or do youmind sharing?
Jeremy (15:06):
that.
Jerry (15:06):
Yeah.
Jeremy (15:07):
Yeah, yeah, I think like if I was to put it in one word,
it'd be like surrender, which,as a police officer, like that's
a bad word Like we don't, youknow, and we know what it means
for you know, uh, you know asuspect to surrender, you know,
and for them to give up controland they are restrained and they
are handcuffed and you knowtheir, you know their next steps
(15:29):
are, you know, out of theirhands, you know, and now are in
the judicial system because ofyou know, whatever they did.
Like I just think it comes downto surrender.
God calls us, you know, tosurrender our hearts, you know,
to him and surrender our livesto him, you know, to abide in
him, which is dependence andsurrender.
You know, like John 15, five,abide in me and apart from me,
(15:52):
you can do nothing.
So I think it just comes downto surrender, which I think is
one of the things that makes itso hard for first responders.
Responders is like we're trainedfrom day one, you know, to uh,
uh, maintain control and to havecontrol, and we hold on to
control and we don't want togive up control, you know, um,
(16:13):
but God doesn't want us to justhave a knowledge of him.
He wants us to live for him andsurrender our lives to him.
So for me, I just like I had togive up control, which was hard
to do.
It was so hard to do.
And you know, give up control,for you know my hopes and my
(16:35):
dreams and my plans and what Iwanted out of life and just say
Lord, I'm here, my life is yours, you know, and I want to live
for you.
So I don't know, that's what itlooks like a lot for me in my
life.
Jerry (16:48):
Yeah, up until that did you have like this, maybe
nagging feeling that somethingwas missing or something like
that, or just something you feltsomething was off.
Jeremy (16:59):
Yeah, definitely felt like something was off, and I
think that we always talk about,you know, like balance in our
lives and you know, and work andlife balance and all those
things which I think, to somedegree, even when I was training
resilience, I think it'ssomething of a myth.
I don't think it's perfectlypossible to have perfect balance
, Sure, but yeah, I think thatit just felt like there was
something that was off and Ithink that in so many, so many
(17:23):
people, they can feel that likethere's just something missing.
You know, or just have a lackof joy or a lack of, you know
just, positivity in my life, orI have a lack of purpose, or I
have a lack of, you know,balance, and I think it's just
out of misplaced priorities.
But I think that, firstresponders, when I was training
(17:44):
resilience and wellness, I thinkthat we're some of the worst at
self-awareness, you know, and Ithink that some of that comes
by the nature of who we are andyou know, I mean we've signed up
like to serve others and tosacrifice for others and to put
others above ourselves.
You know, I mean we've signedup like to serve others and to
sacrifice for others and to putothers above ourselves, you know
, at all costs and like we'veembraced that calling and we
(18:05):
understand that there is asacrifice, but I think, as a
result of it and doing it longenough, like we have just
terrible self-awareness.
You know to how the job'saffecting us, to you know where
things might be out of line inour lives and we don't have
people like speaking into ourlives sometimes to you know, to
point us in the right direction,especially in our personal
(18:25):
lives, and so, yes, it justtotally felt like things were,
you know, out of balance.
There was so much more tensionin my marriage.
I wasn't around as much for mytwo young kids at that time it
wasn't the husband I wanted tobe, it wasn't the father I
wanted to be, it wasn't the manI wanted to be, and I realized
it wasn't me having more balance, it wasn't me putting my family
(18:49):
first, it wasn't any of thosethings, it was putting God first
, living mission first for God,and then everything else.
Falling in line from that.
I think one of the books that Iread that I've loved the most is
Victory Over Darkness from NeilAnderson.
He just talks about ouridentity in Christ and I think
(19:10):
that every first respondershould read that book If they
had any inkling of things.
Things aren't, you know are outof line or you know something's
missing.
You know, I just think thatthat's such an amazing book, you
know, just to speak into ouridentity and who we are and how
we should live out our lives.
Jerry (19:29):
I think sometimes, as first responders, when we think
something's missing or out ofline, excuse me it comes back as
like oh more money, so I needto work more overtime.
That will be the fix of thisfeeling or thought.
What do you think about that?
Jeremy (19:46):
Yeah, I agree.
Well, yes, I agree completely.
And I would say on top of that,I think that work as a first
responder, especially wherewe're so like control driven,
mission, mission driven andcontrol driven Work, becomes
almost like our safe place.
Like work, like where there ischaos in our personal lives.
(20:10):
Like work becomes like our safeplace, like we, like it's
something we're good at, wethrive at.
You know, we can try tomaintain control as best we can,
you know.
There, you know, have thatauthority, have that you know.
And just like purpose, you know.
And so I feel like there's somany that, yeah, when things
start spiraling in theirpersonal life, they almost
(20:32):
double down at work and workmore and work harder.
You know, and and and I thinkthat that's one of the things
that's so challenging for firstresponders, where mental health
and suicide, you know, are soprevalent.
I think it becomes hard toidentify those that are
struggling the most as firstresponders, because among their
(20:54):
coworkers and their supervisors,sometimes the ones that are
struggling the most in theirpersonal lives don't look like
they're struggling at work,because that's where they thrive
and they're coming and they'regoing to put everything into it
at work, where the month beforea police officer committed
(21:16):
suicide, was appeared to be bytheir coworkers and supervisors
their most productive month,their hardest working month, and
looking like they had it alltogether, and some of their
coworkers and supervisors wereblindsided by it, but that was
their.
I think that that's our safeplace.
So, yeah, I agree completely.
(21:37):
I think that we can doeverything and I think that
that's also what makes it toughon the church, or chaplains or,
you know, ministries you know tocome alongside and support them
.
I personally feel like ournation's first responders are
one of the greatest, like unseenmission fields for the church,
because just the culture offirst responders is of strength
(22:01):
and control and we don't showweaknesses and we, you know,
hold it all together.
And so on the outside, it lookslike we've got it together, and
even the first responders thatare attending churches, it's
like they're not going to be theones that are asking for help.
You know they're not going tobe the ones that are breaking
down.
They're going to look like theygot it all together, even
though so many times at home,you know, things might be
(22:23):
falling apart.
I think that it was so.
I think it was so eye openingto me once I was doing peer
support full-time as a full-timecoordinator and overseeing our
peer support team of a hundredpeer support you know, support
officers and supervisors on thedepartment and doing resilience
and wellness training andstarting our wellness unit.
When I was doing it full timeand supporting other departments
(22:44):
around the state, I think itjust opened my eyes to the
extensive issues there are withmental health and physical
health and spiritual health andjust the struggles that come
from the job.
Um, I think when we just hearthe one-offs you know that, uh,
you know this, this, um, youknow, first responder committed
(23:06):
suicide or this.
You know, uh, you know divorceor this, you know whatever when
we hear the one-offs, like wedon't, it's just like it's just
the trickle.
You know, we hear that, we seethe trickle, but when I was
doing a full time, it just feltlike.
It felt like a bottomless well.
Yeah, like like we are just soreactive.
All we are doing is reacting,reacting to the critical
(23:26):
incidents, reacting to thosethat are struggling the most,
trying to come alongside them,and it feels like it is a
bottomless well in terms of howmany were struggling One of the
times that it became the mostobvious in the Seattle Police
(23:47):
Department to the leadershipthere is.
We had, in 2018, an officercommit suicide and didn't
immediately pass away from hissuicide attempt.
He was on life support for acouple days, but during that
period of time, the name of thatofficer was not released, and
it wasn't released immediately,you know, for privacy and for
family.
In that span of time, therewere over 20 names that were
(24:12):
circulating around thedepartment.
Was it this officer?
Was it this officer?
Was it this officer?
And I think that where commandstaff and leadership they're not
going to see those they'restruggling.
I think that they were like theeyes were opened in terms of oh
wow, are there really that manystruggling?
That it could have been, youknow, this officer that
(24:33):
committed suicide.
We had two spouses attemptsuicide during the riots In the
previous year.
We had a spouse, a young spouse, who was pregnant with their
second child, commit suicide.
So, like the impacts of thesejobs are just, you know, so
prevalent all the way across thecountry among first responders,
(24:55):
among families, and I justthink that so many don't see the
struggles because on theoutside, we appear like we've
got it all together and we cango to work and do a great job
and serve others and put othersabove ourselves, while
everything at home is fallingapart.
Jerry (25:11):
Yeah, I think you said that really well how that all
kind of wraps together.
You know as as one, as onething.
You know, you're right, likethe chaos and control that we go
to is somewhat controllable,but at home that is that that
chaos is not really controllable.
(25:32):
In some ways it can be right Ifyou dedicate yourself to to
fixing those problems, but it'sgenerally very difficult to do,
I think, for first responders todedicate themselves to do that
and then it spirals out ofcontrol, like with peer support
and stuff like that when I wasteaching it.
Also, it's like no departmentis going to escape what's going
(25:56):
on with mental health, no matterhow small you are, like it's
still.
Like if even like in volunteerfire and EMS departments and
stuff like that, it's almostmore prevalent, I think,
sometimes because they don'thave the resources that some of
these other departments have.
Jeremy (26:14):
Yes, I agree, and I think that for me, the support
(26:40):
is what's needed.
They just need support.
You know the first responders,you know the crisis hotlines,
you know the peer support team,the resources inside the
department, the resource outsidethe department.
Let's have as many resourcesavailable to them, you know,
because it may not be thisresource, it may be this one
that is, you know, connects oris preferred, you know, but the
more resources the better, sothat you know people aren't
(27:03):
falling through the cracks.
And yes, I agree that somedepartments, some parts of the
country, you know, have so muchmore support than others.
I just think that where youknow they're not supported, you
know there's just so many moreopportunities, you know, for
them to fall through the cracks,for them to just be isolated
and alone.
(27:23):
You know, suffering in silence,where others don't even know it
.
I think that we know thatthere's so much isolation, you
know, in these.
You know first respondercultures too.
I mean, it's like I was amazed,you know, at hearing that when
I first went to the Academy ofyou know you know first
responder cultures too.
I mean, it's like I was amazed,you know, at hearing that when
I first went to the Academy of.
You know, you know the KevinGilmartin stuff of you know,
just, you know is very quicklyin your career you're going to
(27:44):
start to lose some of thefriends that you used to have
and all of a sudden you're onlygoing to have other you know
police officers as friends andlike it just it happens, and I
mean it happens because of howmuch you're putting into work
and how much others can relatewith you and you connect with
them and you know so, yeah, itjust happens.
And then you know we just puteverything into work and work
(28:06):
hard and it's like then, as soonas we're off, we want to be off
and we just start to isolateourselves and that isolation,
like I just think is so deadly,like I just think is so deadly,
is so toxic, is so, you know,harmful.
You know, just to be soisolated and not to feel like
(28:27):
you have support, yeah, I thinkis definitely a challenge and I
my heart is that.
You know I would love to seethis alliance grow, you know, so
that there is so much moresupport readily available for
first responders and familymembers.
Yeah, what would that look liketo you?
Yeah, through this alliance, Iwould love to see the ministries
(28:48):
and the organizations, thechaplains, the churches you know
like all to be able to cometogether.
You know to you know, underthis alliance, that we can, you
know, have an alliance directory, that we can have resources all
across the country that we canhave, you know, this network
that's available for the firstresponders and the spouses that
they can just look in theircommunities and see here are the
(29:10):
resources, here's what'savailable.
Here's what's available for youknow, trauma support for you
know marriage support for youknow, peer support for you know
just you know, trauma supportfor you know, marriage support
for you know, peer support foryou know just you know, support
in their faith.
So I think that, while thesupport resources you know of,
you know mental health and otherresources are growing across
(29:31):
the country, I think that thisfaith-based support for those
that are needing that andwanting that is not there yet in
terms of, you know, widespreadand effective support available
to them.
So I would love to see that growand I'd love to see the
(29:52):
churches that have a heart forfirst responders to be more
effective too.
I just think that there are somany churches that don't
understand the culture, and sothey have.
They have a heart and they wantto support, but they I hear
from pastors over and over againthat they just don't even know
where to start, even know whatto do.
You know, and so, like ourheart is through this alliance
(30:14):
that we can be uniting andequipping all who have a heart
to reach our nation's firstresponders for Christ, you know,
with real hope in Christ.
So we want to be uniting themin this alliance and then we
want to be supporting them andequipping them and connecting
them to all be more effectivetogether.
Jerry (30:32):
Do you offer or do you have like a hotline that's maybe
, or some way to like, if I'm aChristian officer and I'm in
need of help or wanting help,that I can reach out to you or
to somebody, or how does thatwork?
Jeremy (30:47):
Yeah, all of my contact information is on our website
missionfirstalliancecom.
It's all spelled out,missionfirstalliancecom.
It's all spelled out,missionfirstalliancecom.
(31:12):
We have an alliance directoryto where our alliance nationwide
is growing rapidly just becauseof this need to come together
and these organizations aroundthe country and for first
responders, spouses, to lookinto it.
And we have membership which isfree and I would encourage even
any Christian first responderor spouse to become a member and
join this alliance as well.
We're doing so many things totry to offer resources, to try
(31:33):
to offer opportunities for themto get connected and supported.
We're doing a monthly virtualgathering on Zoom where we've
had, you know, 30 to 50 cometogether every month.
We're doing three leader summitretreats this year which are
free to attend One in Florida,one in Arkansas, one in Idaho.
We're doing our first nationalnetworking conference so any
(31:56):
Christian first responders orspouses, or chaplains, or
churches or ministries can cometogether and just, you know, be
able to be more supported andconnected and learn.
You know what's out there.
We've just started acollaborative blog.
We're just starting acollaborative you know podcast.
You know, to highlight, youknow what's going on around the
country.
You know we're going to startputting out some training videos
(32:17):
.
So, yeah, I'd say just you know, jump on our website, become a
member, contact us, go on theAlliance directory to see what's
out there.
I think our my desire is justfor no first responder or spouse
to feel like they're alone.
You know that they'restruggling alone, that there are
so many that are out there thatcare for them and love them and
(32:39):
support them and want to comealongside them.
You know, and we just want themto get connected.
Jerry (32:47):
To come alongside somebody and be there for them.
You don't have to know themright, you just have to have a
heart to care for them yes, yes,and that is what we are hoping
in this alliance.
Jeremy (33:04):
I think that there are so many that have a heart for
first responders, you know, butdon't know what to do because
they don't.
They've never been a firstresponder, they understand the
culture, and so we're justtrying to say, like we want to
unite and equip all, we want tobring them all together and and
show them that even anyoneinside a church can come
alongside and support them.
And I think that some of thestuff that we're hoping to do
over time, like the peer support, training that you know, trust
(33:28):
is the most important thing,which happens over time and
through a relationshiprelationship.
Yeah, so for the resources andthe organizations and chaplains
and those that want to comealongside and support first
responders, like we want to comealongside and and help them,
equip them, show them that youknow to understand the culture
(33:48):
and just some ways to be able tostart to build those
relationships and build trust.
And, you know, make themselvesavailable.
Yeah, I think it's just, Ithink it's just taking that
first step which you know makethemselves available.
Yeah, I think it's just, Ithink it's just taking that
first step, which you know isalways the hardest step right
Taking, taking that first step,yeah, and which makes me one.
Jerry (34:04):
before I let you go, I want to backtrack something a
little bit, you know, cause I'msure people that are listening
and want to know this like so,when you decided to move to
Tennessee, like how did thatcome about?
A little bit and I'm guessingsome you, probably people around
you were like you're going todo what.
Jeremy (34:21):
Yeah, a lot of people.
Yeah, um, uh, yeah.
We bought our house sightunseen.
We moved across the country ina matter of weeks.
Um, you know, and, and, and.
While I'll say, on one hand, uh, it and it happened quickly and
not everyone around us kind ofknew that we might make that
(34:43):
move, but it was something thatwe were praying about for almost
10 years my wife and I.
And God was stirring us andleading us and we were coming
alongside more local andnational ministries and we were
praying.
Just you know God, you know,direct our paths, we're
available to you, we'll gowherever you want.
So the vaccine mandate as acondition of employment was one
(35:08):
of those factors for us, youknow, to just say okay, god, is
this where you're saying it'stime to go.
And ultimately, we took acouple of weeks and we prayed
about it and at the end of acouple of weeks, we just felt
like, yep, god was using that asan opportunity to say go.
And so, based on the nationalministries we were a part of and
(35:29):
volunteering with and I was onthe board with, and things like
that Tennessee was a strategicmove so that we could bring some
of these ministries together.
And even this idea of thisalliance like it wasn't there
when I was in the Seattle PoliceDepartment and it wasn't here
when I first moved out here LikeGod has been directing our
(35:50):
paths and about a year and ahalf ago, like a lot of these
ministry leaders started talkingand had been praying for years,
seeing that there was a need tocome together and we started
having conversations and like itjust, you know, was started out
of a need.
So, like God has been directingour paths, we, yes, moved across
(36:13):
the country.
We knew two people out here inTennessee.
We bought our house sightunseen but, like me, my wife,
our four kids can clearly seeGod's hand in this and have so
much peace and confirmationalong the way that this is
exactly where God wants us to beand this is such a need.
(36:36):
I've even heard from peoplelike you know, travis Yates and
others.
You know that just to say thatthis is so needed and that there
hasn't been anything like thisdone before for first responders
in the faith community to buildan alliance, to come together.
You know, because there's somany silos and so many people
doing things independently andso much isolation among first
(36:58):
responders and spouses.
So there's such a need for this.
So, yeah, I'm excited.
Tennessee is great, we love itout here and it wasn't on our
radar at all a couple years ago.
Jerry (37:11):
Yeah, no, I love the story, I love the journey that
you're taking and what you'redoing.
I think that says a lot aboutyou and your belief and what you
want to accomplish.
And I think it's definitelyneeded because I'm not sure if
you may have heard of thisstatistic like 80% of first
(37:31):
responders put their spiritual Idon't want to say well-being or
spirituality very highly rankedin, you know, in their
priorities.
You know family spirituality,like it was in like the top five
, I think, or maybe in the topthree.
So it's definitely firstresponders are spiritual, I
(37:52):
think, but maybe I don't know.
Are they good?
Are they church going people orjust spiritual?
Jeremy (37:58):
Yeah, yeah, and it doesn't matter, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree, um,and I loved that aspect of even
training, resilience andwellness.
It's like even psychologistsrecognize that spirituality is a
huge component of ourresilience.
You know just having a sense ofpurpose and meaning and
direction.
You know just spiritually.
You know a higher calling andpurpose.
You know just having a sense ofpurpose and meaning and
(38:19):
direction.
You know just spiritually.
You know a higher calling andpurpose.
You know, in our lives, youknow so, to be able to open up
that door and have thatconversation.
I think it is important to somany, but I think that there are
so few examples to follow.
I think that there are so fewlike resources at times.
You know, which is what I felt,you know, and so I feel like
they like like I did, I juststruggled alone, I felt isolated
(38:39):
and alone.
I didn't feel like I knew howto do it, I didn't have any
examples to follow.
So, yes, that's like where I amso excited to see this grow.
You know, to see chaplains, youknow more effective, I think
there's really good chaplainsout there and I think that
they're really chaplains thatyou know are more of there for
the community or the commandstaff or other things and not
there for the officers.
So I just I'm so excited formore effective you know
(39:02):
resources and I think thatthere's just a need for hope.
You know, I just keep goingback to that.
I feel like there's times thatI felt like I was losing hope.
I feel like there's so manyothers that are losing hope in
just the world today and thedirection things are going and
the challenges that lawenforcement and first responders
are facing, and I felt that inwhat felt like the darkest days
(39:27):
in Seattle through the riots in2020.
And they just need hope, butthey need to know where to turn
and there needs to be more good,faith-based resources.
One of the quotes that I lovedusing in my resilience and
wellness training was from amilitary chaplain, chaplain
Robert Preston Taylor, who was aprisoner of war in World War II
(39:48):
, and it's like you just hear inso many of those prisoner of
war stories.
It's like their hope.
You know they had to maintainhope when they thought all was
lost and they had no.
You know.
You know no idea, you know whatthe future would hold.
But he said you know, do notdoubt in the dark what you
believe in the light, and I lovethat quote.
(40:09):
You know, because as firstresponders, we live in the world
of darkness.
You know of just, you knowtrauma and evil and you know
tragedy, and you know we're justconsumed by the darkness.
And where the darkness seems tobe increasing in our world today
, you know it's like, how do wemaintain hope?
How do we, you know, continueto believe and and know, you
(40:29):
know, what we believed before.
You know the trial, before thechallenges, before everything.
Like, how do we maintain thateven through the challenges,
before everything?
Like, how do we maintain thateven through the challenges that
we face?
Because, like, the jobs offirst responders aren't going to
get any easier, the challengesare always going to be there.
But what's our sense of purpose?
What's our perspective?
Where's our source of hope?
You know, and we've got to belike strong in that, like before
(40:53):
the big things happen, becauseit's not a matter of if, it's a
matter of when that nextcritical incident, that next big
call is happening, that nextbig challenge in our career, and
so it's like we have to havethat solid foundation, solid
hope, before it all happens.
Jerry (41:10):
Totally, totally agree with you.
Well, jeremy, I'm excited tosee the Alliance grow and become
more prevalent, you know, outthere for first responders so
they can not feel alone and getthe help that they need and
desire.
And right, we also desire to beum a part of something bigger
than ourselves.
So you know, people hopefullywill join your mission, you know
(41:31):
, to be a part of somethingbigger than themselves.
Jeremy (41:35):
Yeah, I love that.
I hope people would join, wouldsupport uh, you know this
mission um, so that you know all4.6 million of our first
responders and their familymembers can get the support that
they need.
So, yes, we love that.
Jerry (41:49):
Well, thanks for being on today.
I really appreciate it.
Jeremy (41:52):
Yeah, thanks for having me, it was an honor.
Jerry (41:54):
Thanks again for listening.
Don't forget to rate and reviewthe show wherever you access
your podcast.
If you know someone that wouldbe great on the show, please get
a hold of our host, Jerry DeanLund, through the Instagram
handles at JerryFireAndFuel orat EnduringTheBadgePodcast, Also
(42:17):
by visiting the show's website,EnduringTheBadgePodcastcom, for
additional methods of contactand up-to-date information
regarding the show.
Remember, the views andopinions expressed during the
show solely represent those ofour host and the current
episode's guest.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com