May 17, 2025 • 17 mins
What happens when men finally find a space where they can be vulnerable without judgment? Lives transform, connections form, and healing begins.
Dave Martin, Director at Survivors R Us and founder of Sons of the Phoenix, knows firsthand the devastating silence that surrounds men's trauma. After experiencing profound loss, including three children, and spiralling into depression that nearly ended his life, Dave discovered something crucial: men desperately need safe spaces to connect with others who understand.
Sons of the Phoenix was born from this realisation. Named for the mythical bird that rises renewed from ashes, this support initiative helps men rebuild after hitting rock bottom. The symbolism resonates deeply with participants - men who have been knocked down but possess the innate capacity to rise again.
Dave shares a remarkable success story of two strangers who met through the program. Both homeless, they formed an unexpected bond and now share housing, holding each other accountable through life's challenges. It's a powerful testament to what becomes possible when men drop their guards and form authentic connections.
The program operates within the SRU Community Hub, offering a progressive pathway from initial support groups to social connections at "Ken's Corner" and practical activities like woodworking. This holistic approach addresses both emotional needs and the healing power of purposeful creation.
With raw honesty, Dave reveals his own journey through grief, depression, and suicidal thoughts, highlighting how one phone call to a friend saved his life. His vision now extends beyond local impact - he dreams of taking Sons of the Phoenix nationwide, particularly to rural areas where isolation compounds mental health struggles.
Ready to witness transformation in your life or someone you care about? Visit survivorsrusincorporated.com or call 02 4953 7108 to learn more about Sons of the Phoenix and other support programs. Sometimes the bravest act is simply reaching out.
Thank you for listening!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Leon Goltsman (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to Engaging Conversations.
I'm your host, Leon Goltsman,and in today's episode we're
tackling something that doesn'tget talked about enough.
Behind the silence, behind thepressure to stay strong, are men
quietly dealing with trauma,loss, isolation and stigma.
Joining me is Dave Martin,director at Survivors R Us, also
(00:23):
known as SRU Community Hub.
He is the founder of Sons ofthe Phoenix, a powerful support
initiative helping men rise fromtheir lowest points by creating
safe, judgmental-free spaces toconnect and heal.
Today, we openly talk about whymen need each other, the
healing power of brotherhood,and what it really means to rise
from the ashes.
(00:44):
This episode is proudlysupported by Niaz Cannoth from
Invest Intelligence, a leader inethical investment who believes
in building and strengtheningcommunities.
We're deeply grateful for hissupport in helping bring these
important issues andconversations to life.
So now, without further ado,let's get into it.
David Martin (01:05):
My name's Dave Martin, I'm a director here at
Survivors R Us and I'm also amale facilitator for the men's
groups here and a mentor as well, and through the years I've
found that there was no supportand help for men and I've had a
(01:26):
lot of trauma over the yearsthrough different things and I
thought there was need for mento get help out there in a
positive way.
Leon Goltsman (01:32):
You've been deeply involved in community
support through Sons of thePhoenix.
What inspired you to start thismen's health group?
David Martin (01:40):
I found there was no real help for men out there.
There is some groups, but I hada look at my experiences
through life and I thoughtthere's a better way at helping
these men get through it as agroup of men.
Normally you go down the puband have a chat, but we have a
chat here at Sons of the Phoenixand we build a male bonding
(02:05):
like mates at the pub.
Leon Goltsman (02:07):
And not everybody goes to the pub anyway, no they
don't and some blokes.
David Martin (02:11):
They just need that initial someone to friendly
face and a chat and the mainthing is someone to listen to
them.
Leon Goltsman (02:19):
And you know, dave, the name Sons of the
Phoenix does carry somesignificant meaning.
Can you explain the symbolismbehind the name?
David Martin (02:27):
Yeah, I thought about it and I thought, as men,
we've all get knocked down,trodden on.
We're basically like thephoenix We've been beaten and we
just burn out.
And I thought the phoenix is aclassic bird it rebirths after
it's burnt and, like that, we'rereburning from the ashes and
we're rising back out of theashes and being reborn.
(02:50):
That's why I chose the name.
Leon Goltsman (02:52):
And you know, sometimes not everybody realises
they've got that ability.
David Martin (02:57):
Yeah, I found that when we sit around and have a
chat, we spoke about the phoenixand the name behind it, and
everyone can relate to a phoenixin some way or another.
Some have been in phoenixboarding groups.
They've read books on thephoenix, all different stuff and
that really is drawing them in.
Leon Goltsman (03:19):
I think what's drawing people in.
As being a patron of SurvivorsR Us, one of the things that
I've noticed is the safe placethat's available for people, and
especially for men.
How do you ensure that Sons ofthe Phoenix remains a
non-judgmental environment?
David Martin (03:39):
We sit down.
When they come to the Sons,first of all they screen
downstairs with our support teamand they go listen.
We think you need to come tothis group and have a chat.
It's a safe, secure environment.
We hold no judgment.
All the boys or the men thatcome, they're all looking for
(04:01):
somewhere just to sit down andhave a chat, feel safe and
secure and if we've got help forthem if we happen to touch a
subject that may be not so nicefor them, and we have
counsellors and support peoplehere ready for them if something
sets them off, basically peoplefeel safe and comfortable here.
(04:21):
So basically, what happens?
The fellas that come here, theyknow they can speak freely and
what they speak about stays inthe room and doesn't go any
further than that.
Leon Goltsman (04:33):
And that's really , really important, because if
people feel comfortable, theycan get it out of their system,
and you've witnessed positivechanges in participants.
No doubt Can you share asuccess story that stands out
for you.
David Martin (04:47):
Yeah, we have a young fellow that comes here.
I call him young.
He's 50-ish, that's prettyyoung, but I call him a young
fellow.
He's younger than me.
He come here, he was broken, hewas homeless, living on the
street, and he come to thePhoenix and we had our first
meeting and he met up withanother gentleman in the group
(05:09):
and they, buddied up by twomates, didn't even know each
other and they'd been helpingeach other out and they're
helping each other out by ones.
The young fella, he knows whereall the food places are, all
the buses and that, and theother bloke didn't know all this
.
So they're now sharing a houseat the moment and they're both
(05:31):
looking after each other and ifone of them mucks up, the other
one goes hey, pull your head in.
You know you're getting out ofline here and that, I think, is
a great thing.
Leon Goltsman (05:41):
They're a role model for the rest of our group
that come in.
Well, they're obviously holdingeach other to account.
Yes, but that's so important tohave a buddy to watch, because
I think a lot of the people feelso desolate.
David Martin (05:56):
Yeah, I think desolate.
Yeah, I find that a lot of themjust don't have mates, they
don't have anywhere to go,they've got nothing to do and
they just sit at home alone andjust think about not positive
thoughts, and some people dohave mates, but they feel shame
that they can't actually go outthere and talk to them, and
that's sad, but that's thereality.
Leon Goltsman (06:17):
This is what happens.
I feel that you're providingcollaboration and we know that
that enhances community outreach.
So how does your groupcollaborate with the SIU
Community Hub, which isSurvivors Are Us now that's
expanded, it's grown and howdoes that collaborate with the
organisation and perhaps otherorganisations as well?
David Martin (06:40):
Well, at the moment the boys come to the Sons
of the Phoenix.
We're looking at a 10-weekprogram and if they need to stay
longer, they stay longer andwe'll move on from there to what
we call Ken's Corner, which isthen a group of men that come in
on a Thursday morning have acoffee and a bit of cake and
just laugh and chat and jokeabout what's going on in the
(07:02):
world.
And then we're moving on fromthere.
We're going to start what wecall the Woodchucks group.
It's for the men to come andmake toys and timber products
and then they'll go on andhopefully we can sell those
products at Christmas for kids,for Christmas presents, or we'll
just donate them.
(07:23):
We find that's very great forthe blokes, hands-on, and it's
just relaxing.
They can sit out there, theycan.
If they want to sit and chat,they can chat.
If they want to make a project,they just come up and go Dave,
we want to make a project, Iorganize all the gear and, um,
we go ahead and we make theproject and, yeah, stamp the
phoenix on it and yeah, we'llsee.
Leon Goltsman (07:43):
A lot of people don't realize that mental health
is perhaps, and it doesn'tmatter what happens in life.
It tends to lead people downthe same path of a spiral of
desperation when people feelalone.
So you're clearly addressingthe mental health stigma amongst
men is a barrier.
Now what strategies do you useto encourage men to seek?
David Martin (08:06):
help is a barrier.
Now, what strategies do you useto encourage men to seek help?
First thing is speak out.
Speak to someone.
If you're not feeling right,actually go and seek help.
I found for a long time I wascarrying it and I didn't speak
out and I just the typical way,just harden up, princess, and
get on with it.
And then one day I just had abreakdown and I come to
(08:26):
Survivors because it's the onlysafe place I knew and started
progressing from there and gethelp.
Speak out, speak to someone atleast.
Leon Goltsman (08:37):
Well, you're touching on your personal
experiences and how that'sshaped your approach.
How has your own lifeexperiences influenced the way
you lead the group?
David Martin (08:46):
Well my life experiences when I was younger.
I was coerced in a relationshipand I didn't realise, and it
took me a lot to one day I justsaid I'm not putting up with
this anymore and walked away.
In my previous life I lostthree children, a set of twins,
one at 19 weeks, one at 20 weeks, and I lost a daughter after
(09:11):
she was alive for 14 weeks frommassive heart failure.
And I found back then there wasno support for the men.
We went to a counsellor thisday and she said oh, I know how
you feel.
And the young girl was 20 yearsof age and she had no life.
When I asked, have you beenthrough this?
The young girl said no, I readit in a book and I thought
(09:34):
that's not the right way to helppeople.
You need someone that's gotthat life experience behind them
.
And I always say I don't knowwhat you're thinking or how you
feel, but I have been down asimilar path and so I'm just
happy to sit here and listen andjust work with you.
(09:54):
Yeah, see, I found.
Then I ended up with depressionand I was just one angry, cranky
man all the time and eventuallyit caused my marriage.
I lost, you know I justcouldn't put up.
I couldn't deal with it anymore, so I moved on and then I ended
(10:15):
up spiralling down to nearlythinking about taking my own
life.
I'm driving along the road and,just looking at it, it's
semi-parked on the side of theroad and I thought, if I hit it
at 180 kilometres an hour, I'mgoing to make sure I'm not here.
And then I got to work and Imulled on it all day and I ended
(10:35):
up ringing up one of my matesthat's a really good mate and he
said, dave, what's wrong?
And I told him.
He said I'll be there in halfhour, hang on.
And I spoke to him for hoursand sort of cleared my head.
It is a brotherhood.
Yes, we've all been down,knocked down rose again, and
that's why we're using thethings, because we're rising
(10:56):
from our ashes.
I found it's like a tight-knitgroup.
Once you put down your guard,your wall that you put up,
there's blokes there to listento you.
They understand They've allbeen down that same road.
Definitely, reach out.
I would suggest they reach out,contact someone, anyone, and
start the conversation, seekhelp or give us a call.
Leon Goltsman (11:21):
One of the things that we talk about a lot with
most every single person on ourprograms is the satisfaction of
doing good for other people.
The act of giving you are aninspiration, dave, and I just
wanted to ask you whether youfeel that doing good for other
(11:43):
people has had anything to dowith that.
David Martin (11:45):
Yeah, I've found for many years I just wasn't
happy with my job and my partnershe said to me the other week
she can see the changes in meJust here.
I'm happier now, I'm not socranky, I've got time for people
and I really really enjoy thisjob.
Now my role here.
(12:06):
I feel like I'm giving backsomething to the community.
Leon Goltsman (12:10):
Yeah, Well, you certainly are doing a lot for
the community, but you're doinga lot for the community, but
you're doing a lot for yourselfas a result, and just sitting
here, I can feel that I'm a lotmore relaxed.
David Martin (12:22):
I'm not like the energiser bunny jumping up and
down, I'm just relaxed now.
Leon Goltsman (12:28):
Well, there must be a vision for the future of
the group.
David Martin (12:41):
Dave, what are your plans for expanding or
evolving Sons of the Phoenix?
I'd like to take it nationwideone day.
That is my vision to try andget out there and help as many
blokes as I can, and I've got abush background.
I'd like to take it to the bushto help the men out there that
struggle.
Leon Goltsman (12:51):
What a vision, what a vision and you know what.
They certainly could benefitfrom this, and I'm happy to chat
to you offline on this one aswell, because some of the people
I've spoken to in differentregions of Australia and one of
those programs.
They could certainly gain value.
David Martin (13:09):
Yeah, I'm not sure how we're going to do it yet,
but I've been out west and we'vedone other drought reliefs and
all that and we've spoken.
I've spent hours with thefarmers out there and some of
them are just looking for abloke to sit down and have a
chat.
That they don't really know,but open up and they're not
afraid to open up to a stranger.
If they try and open up tofamily, they feel like they've
(13:32):
failed.
Leon Goltsman (13:34):
Well, it kind of reminds me of what Viktor Frankl
once said If you know why youdo something, then all the other
stuff isn't important.
It'll happen, you know, if youknow why you're doing what
you're doing, and in your caseyou're doing it because you want
to help other people.
David Martin (13:52):
Yeah, I'd like to help people because I sometimes
wonder how I would have went ifI got help years ago.
Would my life have beendifferent?
Leon Goltsman (14:02):
Yeah, well, who knows what could have happened?
But we're here today, yes, andwe are making the world a better
place.
Well, you are.
You're making the world abetter place.
David Martin (14:12):
Yes, thank you, I appreciate that because some
days I look at it and go is ithelping?
Better place?
Well, you are.
You're making the world abetter place.
Yes, thank you, that's.
I appreciate that because somedays I look at and go is it
helping or not?
And then when I see my blokesand sons of the phoenix and how
they they come in broken anddestroyed when they leave here,
they've at least got a smile ontheir face and they always say I
(14:33):
can't wait to see you next weekand make sure you're here.
Leon Goltsman (14:37):
Good on you, dave , and that's very, very
inspiring.
I mean, your work has broaderimplications for men's health
and beyond.
What messages would you like toconvey to men who are hesitant
to seek support?
David Martin (14:49):
Do it, go and get help, go and speak to people,
give a mate a phone call or giveus a phone call here and come
and visit us.
Leon Goltsman (14:58):
So, Dave, if people wanted to learn more
about what you do or getinvolved, how would they find
you?
David Martin (15:09):
Look us up on the web on
survivorsrusincorporatedcom andall the information's there.
What we do here, all ourdifferent support groups we have
, and if you have a look, it'llhave all the information's there
.
What we do here, all ourdifferent support groups we have
, and if you have a look, it'llhave all that information.
And please follow us onFacebook as well.
They've got some great photosand what's going on and what
happens here every day.
Leon Goltsman (15:25):
And I'll certainly be putting some more
information on our show notesfor anyone else who wants to
find out more.
But, dave, look you've beenfantastic and I just wanted to
say thank you for all the greatwork that you do.
Sometimes in life we go throughthese challenges.
We don't know why they happento us, but they do, and if we
(15:47):
can bear up under the pressuresthat we go through, the
pleasures become much greaterthan the pain.
David Martin (15:55):
Yeah, I agree with that, William, yeah, yeah, for
anyone that is interested in theSons of the Phoenix or
volunteering, you could give usa call and our support team on
0249537108, and we'd love tohave you come and join the team
(16:16):
and that's a very validcontribution.
Leon Goltsman (16:18):
That is correct 4953 7108.
Of course, there's the website,or just pick up the phone Again
.
I'll have all that in the shownotes.
Excellent, well, thank you somuch, and I'll be keeping my
eyes out for the great work thatyou're doing.
David Martin (16:32):
And thanks, Leon, for having us on your program.
It's great to get out there.
Thanks, mate Jeez.
Leon Goltsman (16:39):
Pleasure.
That was Dave Martin speakingfrom the heart about the
struggles many men face and thehope that's possible when
they're given the space to beseen, heard and supported.
If today's conversation strucka chord, don't keep it to
yourself.
Reach out, whether it's to amate, a support group like Sons
(17:00):
of the Phoenix, or even a quietmoment of honesty with someone
you trust.
Taking that first step is oftenthe bravest.
So to learn more, visitSurvivors R Us online or follow
their work on social media.
A special thank you once againto our Ni az Cannoth, from
Invest Intelligence, whosecommitment to ethical investment
is grounded in strengtheningcommunities and creating lasting
(17:23):
impact.
Your support helps bringstories like these into the
spotlight.
Thanks for listening toEngaging Conversations and thank
you to the audience and allthose who are making it possible
to empower voices andstrengthen our communities, one
conversation at a time.
I'm Leon Goltsman and untilnext time, stay kind, stay open
(17:44):
and let's keep building strongercommunities together.
Hello and welcome back to Engaging Conversations.
I'm your host, Leon Goltsman,and in today's episode we're
tackling something that doesn'tget talked about enough.
Behind the silence, behind thepressure to stay strong, are men
quietly dealing with trauma,loss, isolation and stigma.
Joining me is Dave Martin,director at Survivors R Us, also
(00:23):
known as SRU Community Hub.
He is the founder of Sons ofthe Phoenix, a powerful support
initiative helping men rise fromtheir lowest points by creating
safe, judgmental-free spaces toconnect and heal.
Today, we openly talk about whymen need each other, the
healing power of brotherhood,and what it really means to rise
from the ashes.
(00:44):
This episode is proudlysupported by Niaz Cannoth from
Invest Intelligence, a leader inethical investment who believes
in building and strengtheningcommunities.
We're deeply grateful for hissupport in helping bring these
important issues andconversations to life.
So now, without further ado,let's get into it.
David Martin (01:05):
My name's Dave Martin, I'm a director here at
Survivors R Us and I'm also amale facilitator for the men's
groups here and a mentor as well, and through the years I've
found that there was no supportand help for men and I've had a
(01:26):
lot of trauma over the yearsthrough different things and I
thought there was need for mento get help out there in a
positive way.
Leon Goltsman (01:32):
You've been deeply involved in community
support through Sons of thePhoenix.
What inspired you to start thismen's health group?
David Martin (01:40):
I found there was no real help for men out there.
There is some groups, but I hada look at my experiences
through life and I thoughtthere's a better way at helping
these men get through it as agroup of men.
Normally you go down the puband have a chat, but we have a
chat here at Sons of the Phoenixand we build a male bonding
(02:05):
like mates at the pub.
Leon Goltsman (02:07):
And not everybody goes to the pub anyway, no they
don't and some blokes.
David Martin (02:11):
They just need that initial someone to friendly
face and a chat and the mainthing is someone to listen to
them.
Leon Goltsman (02:19):
And you know, dave, the name Sons of the
Phoenix does carry somesignificant meaning.
Can you explain the symbolismbehind the name?
David Martin (02:27):
Yeah, I thought about it and I thought, as men,
we've all get knocked down,trodden on.
We're basically like thephoenix We've been beaten and we
just burn out.
And I thought the phoenix is aclassic bird it rebirths after
it's burnt and, like that, we'rereburning from the ashes and
we're rising back out of theashes and being reborn.
(02:50):
That's why I chose the name.
Leon Goltsman (02:52):
And you know, sometimes not everybody realises
they've got that ability.
David Martin (02:57):
Yeah, I found that when we sit around and have a
chat, we spoke about the phoenixand the name behind it, and
everyone can relate to a phoenixin some way or another.
Some have been in phoenixboarding groups.
They've read books on thephoenix, all different stuff and
that really is drawing them in.
Leon Goltsman (03:19):
I think what's drawing people in.
As being a patron of SurvivorsR Us, one of the things that
I've noticed is the safe placethat's available for people, and
especially for men.
How do you ensure that Sons ofthe Phoenix remains a
non-judgmental environment?
David Martin (03:39):
We sit down.
When they come to the Sons,first of all they screen
downstairs with our support teamand they go listen.
We think you need to come tothis group and have a chat.
It's a safe, secure environment.
We hold no judgment.
All the boys or the men thatcome, they're all looking for
(04:01):
somewhere just to sit down andhave a chat, feel safe and
secure and if we've got help forthem if we happen to touch a
subject that may be not so nicefor them, and we have
counsellors and support peoplehere ready for them if something
sets them off, basically peoplefeel safe and comfortable here.
(04:21):
So basically, what happens?
The fellas that come here, theyknow they can speak freely and
what they speak about stays inthe room and doesn't go any
further than that.
Leon Goltsman (04:33):
And that's really , really important, because if
people feel comfortable, theycan get it out of their system,
and you've witnessed positivechanges in participants.
No doubt Can you share asuccess story that stands out
for you.
David Martin (04:47):
Yeah, we have a young fellow that comes here.
I call him young.
He's 50-ish, that's prettyyoung, but I call him a young
fellow.
He's younger than me.
He come here, he was broken, hewas homeless, living on the
street, and he come to thePhoenix and we had our first
meeting and he met up withanother gentleman in the group
(05:09):
and they, buddied up by twomates, didn't even know each
other and they'd been helpingeach other out and they're
helping each other out by ones.
The young fella, he knows whereall the food places are, all
the buses and that, and theother bloke didn't know all this
.
So they're now sharing a houseat the moment and they're both
(05:31):
looking after each other and ifone of them mucks up, the other
one goes hey, pull your head in.
You know you're getting out ofline here and that, I think, is
a great thing.
Leon Goltsman (05:41):
They're a role model for the rest of our group
that come in.
Well, they're obviously holdingeach other to account.
Yes, but that's so important tohave a buddy to watch, because
I think a lot of the people feelso desolate.
David Martin (05:56):
Yeah, I think desolate.
Yeah, I find that a lot of themjust don't have mates, they
don't have anywhere to go,they've got nothing to do and
they just sit at home alone andjust think about not positive
thoughts, and some people dohave mates, but they feel shame
that they can't actually go outthere and talk to them, and
that's sad, but that's thereality.
Leon Goltsman (06:17):
This is what happens.
I feel that you're providingcollaboration and we know that
that enhances community outreach.
So how does your groupcollaborate with the SIU
Community Hub, which isSurvivors Are Us now that's
expanded, it's grown and howdoes that collaborate with the
organisation and perhaps otherorganisations as well?
David Martin (06:40):
Well, at the moment the boys come to the Sons
of the Phoenix.
We're looking at a 10-weekprogram and if they need to stay
longer, they stay longer andwe'll move on from there to what
we call Ken's Corner, which isthen a group of men that come in
on a Thursday morning have acoffee and a bit of cake and
just laugh and chat and jokeabout what's going on in the
(07:02):
world.
And then we're moving on fromthere.
We're going to start what wecall the Woodchucks group.
It's for the men to come andmake toys and timber products
and then they'll go on andhopefully we can sell those
products at Christmas for kids,for Christmas presents, or we'll
just donate them.
(07:23):
We find that's very great forthe blokes, hands-on, and it's
just relaxing.
They can sit out there, theycan.
If they want to sit and chat,they can chat.
If they want to make a project,they just come up and go Dave,
we want to make a project, Iorganize all the gear and, um,
we go ahead and we make theproject and, yeah, stamp the
phoenix on it and yeah, we'llsee.
Leon Goltsman (07:43):
A lot of people don't realize that mental health
is perhaps, and it doesn'tmatter what happens in life.
It tends to lead people downthe same path of a spiral of
desperation when people feelalone.
So you're clearly addressingthe mental health stigma amongst
men is a barrier.
Now what strategies do you useto encourage men to seek?
David Martin (08:06):
help is a barrier.
Now, what strategies do you useto encourage men to seek help?
First thing is speak out.
Speak to someone.
If you're not feeling right,actually go and seek help.
I found for a long time I wascarrying it and I didn't speak
out and I just the typical way,just harden up, princess, and
get on with it.
And then one day I just had abreakdown and I come to
(08:26):
Survivors because it's the onlysafe place I knew and started
progressing from there and gethelp.
Speak out, speak to someone atleast.
Leon Goltsman (08:37):
Well, you're touching on your personal
experiences and how that'sshaped your approach.
How has your own lifeexperiences influenced the way
you lead the group?
David Martin (08:46):
Well my life experiences when I was younger.
I was coerced in a relationshipand I didn't realise, and it
took me a lot to one day I justsaid I'm not putting up with
this anymore and walked away.
In my previous life I lostthree children, a set of twins,
one at 19 weeks, one at 20 weeks, and I lost a daughter after
(09:11):
she was alive for 14 weeks frommassive heart failure.
And I found back then there wasno support for the men.
We went to a counsellor thisday and she said oh, I know how
you feel.
And the young girl was 20 yearsof age and she had no life.
When I asked, have you beenthrough this?
The young girl said no, I readit in a book and I thought
(09:34):
that's not the right way to helppeople.
You need someone that's gotthat life experience behind them
.
And I always say I don't knowwhat you're thinking or how you
feel, but I have been down asimilar path and so I'm just
happy to sit here and listen andjust work with you.
(09:54):
Yeah, see, I found.
Then I ended up with depressionand I was just one angry, cranky
man all the time and eventuallyit caused my marriage.
I lost, you know I justcouldn't put up.
I couldn't deal with it anymore, so I moved on and then I ended
(10:15):
up spiralling down to nearlythinking about taking my own
life.
I'm driving along the road and,just looking at it, it's
semi-parked on the side of theroad and I thought, if I hit it
at 180 kilometres an hour, I'mgoing to make sure I'm not here.
And then I got to work and Imulled on it all day and I ended
(10:35):
up ringing up one of my matesthat's a really good mate and he
said, dave, what's wrong?
And I told him.
He said I'll be there in halfhour, hang on.
And I spoke to him for hoursand sort of cleared my head.
It is a brotherhood.
Yes, we've all been down,knocked down rose again, and
that's why we're using thethings, because we're rising
(10:56):
from our ashes.
I found it's like a tight-knitgroup.
Once you put down your guard,your wall that you put up,
there's blokes there to listento you.
They understand They've allbeen down that same road.
Definitely, reach out.
I would suggest they reach out,contact someone, anyone, and
start the conversation, seekhelp or give us a call.
Leon Goltsman (11:21):
One of the things that we talk about a lot with
most every single person on ourprograms is the satisfaction of
doing good for other people.
The act of giving you are aninspiration, dave, and I just
wanted to ask you whether youfeel that doing good for other
(11:43):
people has had anything to dowith that.
David Martin (11:45):
Yeah, I've found for many years I just wasn't
happy with my job and my partnershe said to me the other week
she can see the changes in meJust here.
I'm happier now, I'm not socranky, I've got time for people
and I really really enjoy thisjob.
Now my role here.
(12:06):
I feel like I'm giving backsomething to the community.
Leon Goltsman (12:10):
Yeah, Well, you certainly are doing a lot for
the community, but you're doinga lot for the community, but
you're doing a lot for yourselfas a result, and just sitting
here, I can feel that I'm a lotmore relaxed.
David Martin (12:22):
I'm not like the energiser bunny jumping up and
down, I'm just relaxed now.
Leon Goltsman (12:28):
Well, there must be a vision for the future of
the group.
David Martin (12:41):
Dave, what are your plans for expanding or
evolving Sons of the Phoenix?
I'd like to take it nationwideone day.
That is my vision to try andget out there and help as many
blokes as I can, and I've got abush background.
I'd like to take it to the bushto help the men out there that
struggle.
Leon Goltsman (12:51):
What a vision, what a vision and you know what.
They certainly could benefitfrom this, and I'm happy to chat
to you offline on this one aswell, because some of the people
I've spoken to in differentregions of Australia and one of
those programs.
They could certainly gain value.
David Martin (13:09):
Yeah, I'm not sure how we're going to do it yet,
but I've been out west and we'vedone other drought reliefs and
all that and we've spoken.
I've spent hours with thefarmers out there and some of
them are just looking for abloke to sit down and have a
chat.
That they don't really know,but open up and they're not
afraid to open up to a stranger.
If they try and open up tofamily, they feel like they've
(13:32):
failed.
Leon Goltsman (13:34):
Well, it kind of reminds me of what Viktor Frankl
once said If you know why youdo something, then all the other
stuff isn't important.
It'll happen, you know, if youknow why you're doing what
you're doing, and in your caseyou're doing it because you want
to help other people.
David Martin (13:52):
Yeah, I'd like to help people because I sometimes
wonder how I would have went ifI got help years ago.
Would my life have beendifferent?
Leon Goltsman (14:02):
Yeah, well, who knows what could have happened?
But we're here today, yes, andwe are making the world a better
place.
Well, you are.
You're making the world abetter place.
David Martin (14:12):
Yes, thank you, I appreciate that because some
days I look at it and go is ithelping?
Better place?
Well, you are.
You're making the world abetter place.
Yes, thank you, that's.
I appreciate that because somedays I look at and go is it
helping or not?
And then when I see my blokesand sons of the phoenix and how
they they come in broken anddestroyed when they leave here,
they've at least got a smile ontheir face and they always say I
(14:33):
can't wait to see you next weekand make sure you're here.
Leon Goltsman (14:37):
Good on you, dave , and that's very, very
inspiring.
I mean, your work has broaderimplications for men's health
and beyond.
What messages would you like toconvey to men who are hesitant
to seek support?
David Martin (14:49):
Do it, go and get help, go and speak to people,
give a mate a phone call or giveus a phone call here and come
and visit us.
Leon Goltsman (14:58):
So, Dave, if people wanted to learn more
about what you do or getinvolved, how would they find
you?
David Martin (15:09):
Look us up on the web on
survivorsrusincorporatedcom andall the information's there.
What we do here, all ourdifferent support groups we have
, and if you have a look, it'llhave all the information's there
.
What we do here, all ourdifferent support groups we have
, and if you have a look, it'llhave all that information.
And please follow us onFacebook as well.
They've got some great photosand what's going on and what
happens here every day.
Leon Goltsman (15:25):
And I'll certainly be putting some more
information on our show notesfor anyone else who wants to
find out more.
But, dave, look you've beenfantastic and I just wanted to
say thank you for all the greatwork that you do.
Sometimes in life we go throughthese challenges.
We don't know why they happento us, but they do, and if we
(15:47):
can bear up under the pressuresthat we go through, the
pleasures become much greaterthan the pain.
David Martin (15:55):
Yeah, I agree with that, William, yeah, yeah, for
anyone that is interested in theSons of the Phoenix or
volunteering, you could give usa call and our support team on
0249537108, and we'd love tohave you come and join the team
(16:16):
and that's a very validcontribution.
Leon Goltsman (16:18):
That is correct 4953 7108.
Of course, there's the website,or just pick up the phone Again
.
I'll have all that in the shownotes.
Excellent, well, thank you somuch, and I'll be keeping my
eyes out for the great work thatyou're doing.
David Martin (16:32):
And thanks, Leon, for having us on your program.
It's great to get out there.
Thanks, mate Jeez.
Leon Goltsman (16:39):
Pleasure.
That was Dave Martin speakingfrom the heart about the
struggles many men face and thehope that's possible when
they're given the space to beseen, heard and supported.
If today's conversation strucka chord, don't keep it to
yourself.
Reach out, whether it's to amate, a support group like Sons
(17:00):
of the Phoenix, or even a quietmoment of honesty with someone
you trust.
Taking that first step is oftenthe bravest.
So to learn more, visitSurvivors R Us online or follow
their work on social media.
A special thank you once againto our Ni az Cannoth, from
Invest Intelligence, whosecommitment to ethical investment
is grounded in strengtheningcommunities and creating lasting
(17:23):
impact.
Your support helps bringstories like these into the
spotlight.
Thanks for listening toEngaging Conversations and thank
you to the audience and allthose who are making it possible
to empower voices andstrengthen our communities, one
conversation at a time.
I'm Leon Goltsman and untilnext time, stay kind, stay open
(17:44):
and let's keep building strongercommunities together.
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