#53 Proactive Roadmap to Conquer Challenges, Nurture Relationships and Embrace Adventure with Jess Graham

Episode Transcript
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Dino Grigoriadis (00:00):
Hey there, road warriors, this is Dino,
your roadie and guide on theside, coming at you with another
fantastic episode of EnjoyingLife, otr.
Today we've got a special treatfor you, whether you're a
seasoned veteran or a newbiehitting the asphalt for the
first time, we're diving deepinto the world of trucking with
the amazing Jess Graham.
She's going to share someincredible insights on making

(00:22):
the most of life on the road,advocating for positive change
in our industry and finding yourtribe out there.
So buckle up and get ready fora ride that'll inspire both the
ladies and gents behind thewheel.
Let's hammer down.

Announcer (00:37):
Enjoying Life OTR conversations that inspire
curiosity, adventure andresilience.
We're honoring drivers andsharing their adventures and
becoming healthier truckers.
Stay tuned to discover creativelife hacks and practical
strategies for enhancing ourwell-being and making the most
of our time on the road.
Welcome to Enjoying Life, otr.

Cindy Tunstall (00:57):
Welcome to the show, Jess.

Jess Gra (00:59):
It is great to be here .
I know we've tried to connectfor a long time and my schedule
has just been crazy.

I've been looking forward to having you on
the show since the verybeginning, so I'm super excited
for my audience to meet you.
So before we get into the nittygritty, why don't you do this?
Tell me just a little bit aboutyour career, what kind of
career you're running, just soeverybody can kind of get to
know you just a little bitbefore we dig in.

Jess Gra (01:26):
I am a 12 year veteran of the industry.
I started in 2012 and I gotinto trucking as a way to get
out of an abusive relationship,so I I got my CDL and then I
went home and I picked up mydaughter and I homeschooled her
on the truck for that first year, while I got my feet underneath
me, and we just have beenrocking and rolling ever since.
I'm now an independent owneroperator operating under my own

(01:48):
authority out of Georgia, and Ihaul dry van, but occasionally,
like this week and next week,I'll be hauling our reefer
trailer for my partner.
I've learned to get my um orI've made connections with other
drivers and really grown my myfriends and my group and I found

(02:12):
my tribe.
So that's where I'm at.
Today is like I found my tribeof women that we all have
similarities and you know like Ilost my old life when I got
into trucking, but I I finally,at at this point, have found my
tribe.

Yeah, I love that.
It's a little bit of atransition, even for me.
I think I've been only drivingfour years and I noticed my
friend group at home has, youknow, gotten much smaller, as
you would expect.
You know, because I'm not hereas often.
But I'm also growing a tribeand it does take a little time.
Any advice you have for adriver that's new to making that

(02:49):
transition, any tips that wouldhelp them to be able to do that
as well?

Jess Gra (02:55):
My first piece of advice for adjusting from a
civilian life, as I call it, toa driver's life is to really be
clear with your family andfriends, because over the years
you'll find that you won't getinvited to as much.
It's lonely out here.

(03:15):
We have a very isolated lifeand I have, you know, parts of
my career where I suffered withlike gray days is what I call
them, where I'm just like nobodyeven knows I'm out here or what
I'm doing.
And so I actually had the thecome to Jesus talk with my
sister and said we both know I'mnot going to be at 90% of the
things you're doing, but I needa hundred percent of the invites

(03:38):
.
I need to know every timeyou're planning something that
you want to include me in it,whether I'm going to be there or
not.
I'm going to do my best to bethere.
So that was, that was arealization that when I had that
talk with my family, it madesure that they were, they were
aware that, yeah, I am changing,I am growing, I'm, I've got a

(03:59):
weird schedule, but we stillvalue you and want you to know
that your, your connection to usis important.

I love that so much.
I love that so much.
It's so practical and it's sosimple and so effective.
I think probably drivers thathave been driving for years and
years could have thatconversation, you know, cause
the family at home is used tothem, and then I think the
family at home also may beworrying.
You know, I don't want to makeyou feel bad because you're

(04:27):
missing out on the party, youknow.
So I love this tip, even fordrivers that have been on the
road for years.
Great, great advice.

Jess Gra (04:36):
Every holiday that comes up, I get a text from my
sister here's our schedule,here's our plans.
I'm making reservations likeMother's Day reservation here
our schedule, here's our plans.
I'm making reservations likemother's day reservation here.
Do I need to put a plus one foryou?
You know like, and I tell heryes or no or like what my
scheduler you know she gives methat leeway.
So it definitely was one ofthose things that helped

(04:58):
transition me back into like nota nameless, baseless, homeless
person barely existing to.
I'm back into being active andpart of my family.

I love that so great.
Okay, so, jess, you own yourown truck now.
Is that right?
You're not a company driver.

Jess Gra (05:17):
No, five years ago I bought the black widow and with
the help of my partner it was.
It was a scary thing that he'slike I promise you I'm not gonna
let you fail, and his brotherthe same thing.
We're like, we have got you andthey've been true to their word
.
Um, we work together as aphenomenal team, it's, it's.
It's.
We operate two MC numbers andtwo DOT numbers, cause each

(05:38):
brother has their own, and thenI swing between the two.
I'm technically employed byboth.
So, like on, you know, while mytruck is under ABM, I also am
on the insurance for GTO so that, like, if Elias can never
recover a truck or equipment orthings like that, I can, I can
step in and easily just grab hisequipment and go, or whatever

(05:58):
we need, whatever we need to do,to work together as a team.
Because when you are anindependent owner operator, it's
a lonely road and I've watchedmy friends that have one truck
and they don't have a group thatcan work together like that.
It makes it that much harder onthem.
So we work together, the threeof us, to make sure that we're
all pretty equal in.
You know, no one is going tohire a driver unless all of us

(06:21):
have a driver and then we go andhire the next round and so that
all the all the companies havethe same, so that we're all
profitable and and functioningwell, because it's all in our
best interest to work together,so that we're all like teaming
together.
You know, stepping out of thecompany driver position which I
was comfortable being a companydriver for the rest of my career

(06:43):
like I I never.
I'm not one of those people likeI dream of owning my own truck.
No, I did not.
I, I hated every minute I it's.
You know, when you own a truck,people forget that, that you're
married to that truck.
If you look at my TikTok it's,you know my vacation and then
also me working on my truck.
That's literally the only twopieces of content I make is

(07:07):
fixing my truck and then goinghome to take a vacation.
Every time I come into the yardI jump in the pickup truck and I
drive around Atlanta and Icollect parts that you know need
to get fixed this week and youknow we work together.
I'll get, you know, thebrothers will be doing the
physical labor on the trucks andI'm driving around Atlanta
collecting three trucks, partsfor three trucks, you know,

(07:29):
because they're never all at thesame spot.
You got to go over here to getthis part and over there to get
that part.
And then you know each statefreight liner doesn't know where
their parts are and they'llsend you all over only for you
to go back to the originaldealership and get the part
because they found it, you know.
But chasing mechanics, you know.
We don't go to the dealershipsbecause we have old trucks.

(07:52):
Mine's going to be 30 years inNovember.
It's a 30-year-old truck.
Matthew's is 27.
Alliance's is 25.
You know.
So we run old equipment butit's well-maintained.
I just rebuilt my motor for thesecond time on this truck with.
It's got about three millionmiles on it.
Well, but she's a good, solid,solid truck and I've made it

(08:15):
comfortable.
We've gutted the interior anddone a lot of things.
I know you've seen the pictureson on some of the groups when
they're like what's the insideof your sleeper look like?
And then they're like what Iknow you're so good.
Everybody always comes on yours.
It's just I.
I now have that flexibility,like you know, when you're a
company driver, I, I mean Ialways had things in my truck to

(08:36):
make it personalized.
When I was a company driver.
I you know sticky tape or thedouble-sided velcro pictures and
artwork hanging in my truck.
And all of my trucks had a nameand a theme.
You know one truck was veryunicorn centered and you know I
had a unicorn, a faux taxidermystuffed unicorn head that had
Mardi Gras beads hanging off ofit, just for my travels.

(08:56):
And you know one truck I got itwas a mermaid theme and it had
a very beachy beach house vibe.
You know, just the personalityof the truck tells me how we're
going to do it and what its nameis.
I love that very creative Ilove that.

That is what a great setup you have there, and
it's so great.
You have that relationshipwhere y'all trust each other and
you have each other's back.
How did y'all get to know eachother?
Were y'all working for the samecompany at the time, or how did
this relationship develop?

Jess Gra (09:27):
I met my current business partner in Laredo and
we were both delivering atContinental and we both had to
drop our trailers and go getmoney out of an ATM for a cash
lump or fee that neither one ofus knew we needed.
But before I offered to Bobtail over there instead of
making him drop his trailer, um,we were standing in the line to

(09:50):
check in and he's talking toanother driver and I'm listening
to his accent and I'm likewhere are you from?
And he goes you're not going tobelieve me or you won't.
You've never heard of it, Ithink is what he said.
And I said it's either Ethiopiaor Eritrea.
And he kind of was taken aback.
He's like you're the firstperson I've ever met that knew

(10:13):
exactly where I was from.
I said, well, my daughter's dadis Ethiopian and so I'm used to
your accent.
So I just, I just don't want to.
I I didn't want to call youEthiopian if you're Eritrean or
you know that kind of thing.
So, um, we ended up Bob tailingup and he bought me lunch so

(10:34):
that you know, thank you for notmaking me drop my trailer and
we could just, you know, headback together.
Yeah, you know we, we exchangednumbers and he said if you're
ever in Laredo again, we'll meetup for lunch, you know, um.
And then he spent the next fiveyears trying to get me to come
drive for him.
And I said I said no, I likedthat.
My company, I'm a, I'm aprincess here and you know I get

(10:55):
shiny new trucks all the timeand you know I just I have a lot
of good benefits here.
So, no, but about five yearsago there was a petition that
was passed around at a truckshow that I was helping pass
around to get Ray Martinez tolook, who was then the head of

(11:17):
the FMCSA.
We were wanting him to actuallytake a step back and look at
the condition of these megatraining fleets.
And so we started a petitionand we passed it around and we
got the signatures and wepresented it to them.
Well, the president of the womenin trucking organization at the
time did not like that and shewent and bullied my company into

(11:41):
firing me.
They didn't fire me, correct,and I have the email chain.
So I'm never afraid to say thisbecause I have the email chain.
And she is five years latershe's talking about it.
Nothing's happened.
So, um, she knows she was wrong.
But they didn't fire me, butthey starved me out because they

(12:01):
realized she, she, wetechnically can't fire her, but
we can make it impossible forher to want to stay and and I
loved that company with my wholeheart.
So my miles went from 36, 3,800a week to about 16 to 18.
So that is starving.
Yeah, right after that, youknow that went down.

What exactly was the issue that she was having a
problem with that wanting toget you fired.
What exactly were you doingthat was so offensive?

Jess Gra (12:31):
I'm a part of Real Women in Trucking and the whole
organization was founded toaddress the sexual harassment
and rape of women drivers in thetraining fleet, like with
education information, and wewould like policy change
federally to protect womendrivers that are attempting to
enter the industry, because onein six women will make it out of

(12:52):
their career or out of theirfirst year and into a career as
a truck driver.
We only have a 17% success rate, which is really low, you know.
So there's no.
You know you talk about womenrecruiting women, because women
make great drivers, but we'renot, we're not even giving them
a fair chance to get out oftheir training and actually get
into the truck and get out here.

(13:13):
Um, and that's what theorganization does.
So her organization has beenvery quiet on the issues because
her corporate sponsors are thebiggest offenders.
Yeah, Um, you know.
Uh, she's testified on behalfof companies against rape
victims, and so if you sayanything against you know what

(13:38):
they're doing then they, youbecome public enemy number one,
and I'm not the only one.
Uh, I think every person thatis part of real women in
trucking has a a story of howthey tried to speak up and they
were trying to silence them.
Wow, and that was just what shedid, yeah.

So that at that point that was five years ago,
and so you left your companythen and that's when you became
an owner operator.
That's the timeline, rightthere.

Jess Gra (14:04):
Yeah.
So I had to make a decision.
I was being starved out of mycompany.
She had made waves and I had todecide do I find another
company and just get comfortableand get going and continue to
do what I'm doing, advocacy-wise, and have her do it all over
again?
And that's when I calledMatthew and I was like well, I

(14:27):
think I'm ready to drive for you.
He goes, it's about time and I,you know, explain the situation
and he goes.
Yeah, well, I would love forsomebody to call me and tell me
who I can and cannot hire,because I speak four languages
and I will cuss them out in allfour.
And so it has.
You know, he's like I boughtthis truck a while ago and he

(14:51):
goes you're the only person Icould think of that, I could see
driving it.
And so I came and he financedmy truck for me.
I didn't have to do a leasepurchase, you know, or anything
like that.
I just made payments when I hada good week.
And you know, if I didn't havea very good week, then I didn't
have to make a payment that week.
You know, um, it was a, it wasa friend's deal, you know,

(15:13):
didn't have high interest on it,you know, Um, so, yeah, so now
the black widow is mine and, uh,I just, I keep, just keep it
here.
I don't plan on doing anythingelse, because at this point I
don't ever want to feel bulliedby a company or my boss.

Okay, jess, what if there is a woman driver and
she's experiencing some eitherverbal abuse or sexual
harassment, or even her traineris making her feel unsafe while
she's on the road?
What advice would you give towomen that have an issue with
the big mega carrier?
Maybe they just got their CDL,or maybe they just changed
companies and they'reexperiencing some unsafe

(16:03):
environment in their truckingcompany.
What advice do you have forthose women?

Jess Gra (16:09):
This is a question I get asked all the time, and it's
important to know that the lawis on your side for this.
You don't have to accept thisbehavior and abuse and you, as a
woman driver, didn't doanything wrong, and so my advice
is always, always, always onedocument everything.

(16:33):
Everything from the firstfeeling of uncomfortable to the
exchange to um, every littlething, whether you think it's
significant or not.
When you get out of yourcompany's orientation and into
your trainer's truck, start ajournal, write down dates and
times of everything you did.
Everything document, screenshotyou know, whatever kind of

(16:57):
documentation you can for yourentire experience from even out
of your trainer's truck and whenyou become a company driver and
interactions with other people.
Document everything and alsoreport to your company's HR,
even though they're not going toreally help you they're
probably going to look tominimize your claims.
Document their response to you.

(17:18):
See, you know some companieswill take a swift action, some
will try and sweep it under therug or dismiss it.
Make sure you file the reportwith them and document that you
filed that report and thendocument their response.
Contact the EEOC and people arelike why?
And I said because it's theirjob, it's not your job to

(17:39):
determine whether or not youwere wronged.
It's their job.
It is 100% their job todetermine whether or not what
you encountered was sexualharassment, was rape, was was on
discrimination of any form.
That's literally the wholepoint of the organization, um,
and it's a federal, so it'sdocumented federally, you know,

(17:59):
and the more we report to them,the more they can actually pick
up on patterns and actuallystart going after problem
carriers that are having issueswithin their fleets.
The only way to actually getaction and I think that's the
theme of everything I've said isto be proactive and talk to the
people.
That can actually make it, makea difference.

(18:21):
You got to connect with thosepeople so you reach out to the
EEOC, file a claim, get yourreport number and then
realwomenandtruckingorg is thewebsite On.
There is a tab for you to gethelp and it's full of
information on.
They will help you find anattorney.
They will help you navigate.

(18:41):
You know Desiree is, like,extremely skilled.
She's an expert witness, um forfor victims and a victim's
right advocate, so, like shewill help you process everything
and um kind of help younavigate the minefield that is
uh HR and discrimination atthese companies and get you the

(19:05):
right information and connectyou with the right people to
actually address the situation.
And, last but not least, if youare ever, ever assaulted by
your trainer not just, not justdiscrimination, not just
harassment, but actuallyassaulted call the police.
Call the police.
Don't let the company tell youto come to the terminal.

(19:26):
Call the police from whereyou're at.
Also, call RAINN R-A-I-N-N.
And that is a federal hotlinefor victims of abuse and rape,
and they will help you with allof the emotional stuff that you
are going to face going forwardafter an assault.

Okay, that's great information, jess.
I appreciate that they want tomiss the opportunity to pick
your brain on that, because Iknow that it happens in real
issues with women out there andeven other drivers male drivers
that hear about things that arehappening and hear from you know
, hear from another driver thathad an issue and, um, there's
just good options out there, soI appreciate that.

Jess Gra (20:10):
I just want everybody to know, like there are so many,
like I've had comments, um,when I do share information like
this, well, I don't want tostart my career being so happy
or no.
No, you have to.
Actually, we have to hold thesepeople accountable.
We have to hold.
We're never going to.
You might not get resolution,it might not work out for you,
but by you speaking up, it meansthat the driver coming behind

(20:33):
you is not going to have to facethis issue, and that's the
whole point.
Yes, yes, is leave the industrybetter than you came to it, and
it's it's broken right now.
But I think if we all take thetime to share our experiences
and share information and beproactive about speaking up for
ourselves, we can actually leavethe industry better than we

(20:55):
found it.
That's awesome.

Okay, I'm going to shift gears just a little bit
, jess, if that's okay.
Absolutely.
You and I have talked aboutdrivers participating and
advocating for changes in ourindustry and I know that you
have some frustration with thetruck parking issues To our
listening audience, mainlydrivers.
What would you say to driversabout the truck parking

(21:20):
challenges that we face, becauseeverybody struggles with truck
parking, having to plan yourroutes around when you're going
to be able to stop and what'sthe best thing, what solutions
do you see out there and whatwords of advice would you have
for our drivers that arelistening?

Jess Gra (21:35):
I actually have a story about how I really got
involved with truck parking andit actually starts out with the
whole theme of the show isenjoying life OTR.
I was scheduled to meet up withsome of my other trucking
girlfriends in New Orleans andwe had booked a hotel and we
were going to park and spend aweekend there close to Mardi

(21:57):
Gras.
And they didn't make it at thelast minute but I was already
there, so I'm going to enjoy,you know, walking around the
French Quarter and eating goodfood and listening to music and
having my fair share ofhurricanes.

That's so fun.

Jess Gra (22:15):
And just I'm still going to enjoy it, you know.
And I'm walking back to myhotel and I'm standing in the
parking garage by the bencheswhere everybody congregates and
smokes, and there's a group ofwomen that were sitting on the
benches smoking and drinking abeer and talking, and I'm just
standing around.
I'm not trying to involve, LikeI am, as Mary from Macon who is

(22:38):
leading the story.
She's like you, I've never seensomebody drunker in my life.
That's funny.

Say something New Orleans.

Jess Gra (22:51):
Yeah, she's like you walked up and the other ladies
they kind of rolled their eyes,but you know I was she goes.
I was at a point where I justlistened to a seminar about
talking to people and askingpeople about themselves.
Stop talking about yourself andask people about themselves and
you'll meet some reallyinteresting people that way.
And so she's like I talked toyou because I was trying to

(23:14):
apply that, what I just learned,and practice those skills and
get into the point of engagingpeople.

I love this so much.

Jess Gra (23:25):
So her first question was you know what's your name
and whatnot, and you know whatdo you do for a living?
And I said well, I'm a truckdriver.
And she goes, get out.
I have dreamed since I was inthird grade of being a truck
driver.
And you know what my daddy saidyou can do it, but you just own
the truck.
You don't want to be a driver,you want to be the truck owner.

(23:46):
And she didn't end up doingthat.
But that was her childhooddream and her daddy, who you
know is a Southern pecan farmer,it was like go for it, do what
you want, live your best life,but anyways.
So she actually went to collegeand became a civil engineer and
she's actually the person thatwrites the state's freight plan

(24:09):
for freight movement, truckparking, people movement.
So she is literally the personin every state, one of the
people who determines where wepark our trucks, how we move
through communities stop signs,roadways, intersections,
pedestrian crossing that isliterally her job.
Oh, wow, and I, I met her in amarriott parking structure and

(24:34):
we ended up sitting on thatbench for about six hours
drinking and smoking and talking, and we, you know, we did the
exchange numbers and here's thefacebook and you know, over the
course of that time I talked toher.
I said, well, I'm a truckdriver and I, you know, I really
do want to be involved.
Like I know that we have anissue with truck parking, so

(24:54):
like, if you ever have like aquestion about truckers and what
we're looking for and what weneed, call me.
And it's kind of taken off fromthere.
Every time she's working on anew community.
She's like okay, what is yourexperience in this area and do
you know other people that drivethrough there regularly?
And so you know I've been ableto really teach her.

(25:16):
You know different things thatshe never thought of.
When we're approachingsomething, it's different than
when a passenger or a pedestrianapproaches an intersection and
the things we're looking for.
And so, yeah, that's how Ireally started getting active in
my state and that is always myadvice to other drivers is reach

(25:38):
out to your state's MPO.
You just Google your state andthe words MPO and what does.
MPO stand for MetropolitanPlanning Office.
I believe it's just.
It's the people that plan themovement and they're the ones
that do the federal freightplans.
To get you know, to tell youlike, right now we're working on
Columbus, georgia and thatregional area and she's done

(26:01):
other areas and she's got otherscoming up in the you know.
And she called me and said okay, what is your experience in
this area?
What intersections do you hate?
You know what?
What?
How do you move around in thisarea?
And I told her and you know myexperiences and I've gotten some
other people to do it we wehave to understand as drivers
that we can talk about lack ofparking on the internet, but we

(26:22):
actually have to go to thepeople with the money that make
the decisions and talk to themabout it.
So, calling your you know,getting in touch with your
states, you know planning andyou know parking and your MPO.

Give me an idea how that conversation would
begin, like if I say, hey, I'mgoing to call you know, in Texas
, I'm going to look at on Googleand find the MPO near me.
And what, what would I?
How would I start thatconversation?
And you know, to be able to belike this person that you have a
relationship with, now you can,you know she's calling and
giving you, you know, asking youquestions, you can give her

(26:58):
specific feedback.
But for me, like some Joe Schmo, you know, just in in Texas,
I'm going to call this personrandomly they don't have a
relationship with.
Like what would I say when Imake those calls?
Like, what am I looking to?
You know, how do I start thatconversation?

Jess Gra (27:13):
Always just call them, email them, introduce yourself,
saying I'm a truck driver, Ilive in this area and I would
like to participate in the truckparking discussion, you know,
so please notify me of upcomingtruck parking meetings.
And a lot of those are digitalnow because of COVID.

(27:34):
They went to zoom and so wedon't have to actually like go
into the auditorium that they'reholding it in there.
A lot of them are online now soyou can attend it from wherever
in the country you are at themoment.
That's great.
And just keep reaching out tothem.
If you're in an area andthere's a struggle, call and say

(27:54):
hey, I'm a truck driver, I livein this area.
This intersection is difficultfor me to navigate, or I don't
have.
You know, like this is theproblem.
I have Always just keepreaching out to them and saying
you know, like this is, this isthe problem.
I have always just just keepreaching out to them and saying
you know, just give theminformation, say, hey, are you
working on this area right now?
Are you working on Houstonright now?

(28:15):
Because when I go throughHouston, I have this problem in
this area and this is this.
This really affects my day.
Or, you know, I mean littlethings, like there's a place
down in Columbus where I have topick up, where the only way to
back into their docks is theystop traffic and you have to
jump over the center median withyour truck, which I don't want
to do, but that's the only wayto get into the dock because

(28:36):
it's so old and you know she'slike.
I need that information becausenow in our next planning we're
going to actually look at a wayof removing that center median
and making it a pass-through sothat the trucks can easily you
know, like those are the thingsthey do so it could be that
there's poles on a curb on aregular turn.
You have to make, anytime youencounter, like just take notes

(28:58):
of your travels and reach out tothem and say when I'm in this
area, this is what I deal with,and sooner or later you'll start
to.
You know, just be yourself.
You know, let them know likeyou're really interested in
helping out and weighing in, andthat's invaluable to them,
because the states you know oneof the parts of federal funding

(29:20):
and state funding gettingallotted to projects like truck
parking is they have to take asurvey, and so they put them out
on the internet.
They publish them in some ofthese trucking publications and
they announce you know, you'llsee, on my page and I try and
post them everywhere I canremember to post them, like
Nevada is doing a truck parkingsurvey and if you don't run
through Nevada you don't haveinformation.

(29:42):
But if you do click on it theyusually take five to 10 minutes
and it is.
Some of them have the pinpointmaps where you can go in and say
this is the intersection that Istruggle with, or here's where
I normally deliver, like theseare the problem areas for me, or
that'll ask you questions.
Then you can give feedback andit's so important because if we
don't take those surveys thenthey're like oh well, I guess

(30:05):
there's not a, and then theymove on to the people that did
take the survey and addressthose issues.

So, yeah, squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Is that how this always goes?
Yeah, well, you know, I guess Ireally love this because you
know, I mean I'm a lot of groupsand a lot of social things and
you know there's always peoplecomplaining about truck parking

(30:31):
and I also hear this, you know atrucker voice that will, you
know, say you know, nobody caresabout us, nobody's listening,
nobody's really doing anythingabout the problems that we face,
and this is just a reallypractical way to make sure we're
doing all that we can toimprove the system.
So I'm so grateful that youshared this with me.
This was nowhere on my radar,so, and I know that that will be
true for many drivers hearingthis, so I'm very grateful.
I actually learned about thesurveys.
I saw you had posted one in theEnjoying Life OTR Facebook

(30:54):
group and, you know, actuallyled to us, you know, wanting to
talk about this topic on theshow because I think it's an
important issue and it's a wayfor drivers to have a voice and
to be heard.
And you know, similarly, Ithink, that the FMCSA will put
out questionnaires and surveys,and you know.

Jess Gra (31:11):
Anytime they have a public comment.
And anytime they ask for apublic comment, write your
comment.
There are some times wherethey're asking for a policy
change at the FMCSA level andthey get like three responses.
No, there should be 10,000responses.

And how do we find out about the FMCSA?
Usually I find on Facebookgroups somebody will post and
I'll stay on there.
But is there a way for me todirectly find out about surveys
and things that are coming fromthe FMCSA?

Jess Gra (31:39):
Just follow their social medias, because every
time a survey comes out or arequest for comments comes out,
they post it on their Facebookand their Twitter, and so they
post a direct link.
So all you have to do is clickthe link and it takes you right
to the page and you can leaveyour comments.
And, it's important, even ifyour issue doesn't get answered

(32:01):
in that meeting, by posting yourcomments and participating in
these surveys, they actuallybecome part of a federal
document that is now searchable,so when somebody in another
area is looking for information,they can literally go into
their federal database and typein the keywords, and if your
comment pops up, then I mean you, the public.

(32:24):
It publishes your comments in aplace where it is going to be
effective, whether it's now orlater or however.
It's written in stone,essentially.

Well, thanks for adding that, because I think a
lot of times drivers will say,well, I made a comment on that
last thing and it didn't matter,it didn't make a change, change
.

Jess Gra (32:43):
But yeah, you can comment on their twitter and and
tweet them all the day, butthat doesn't get federally
recorded and published in stone,you know, because every federal
document and every comment isis is locked in once it's you
hit, send.
It's now written in stone greattip, jess.

thank you for that really really very helpful,
very helpful.
I just think this would bringto the forefront more of the
reasons that we need to getinvolved and also kind of
downplay the thing where ourvoice is not really being heard
anyway.
So I love the things thatyou're sharing Very, very
helpful.

Jess Gra (33:20):
And it's because my friends and I we'd want to meet
up somewhere and go have anadventure and we'd look and say
like, oh well, san Antonioreally doesn't have any truck
parking.
So you know, it makes it alittle bit harder.
But if we can get involved andparticipate, then I think it's
really going to help us to beable to have more adventures.

Okay, I got one more thing I want to talk about,
jess.
Okay, um, I heard a rumor thatyou were in a documentary.
Is that true?
What?
What's that about?

Jess Gra (33:54):
yes, so real women in trucking.
You know, I've been a part ofthat organization since 2017,
2018, somewhere in there, and Iwas at the great american truck
show and they there was adocumentary filmmaker who
started following Desiree Wood,the president of Real Women in
Trucking, and her rad tag groupof rebel women that she's

(34:17):
assembled to take on thetrucking industry, which I'm a
part of that group, and so theyspent five years following us
around to different events andon the road and, um, just kind
of documenting the, the uniquechallenges and the what it's
like out here and it's an it's afull-length feature documentary

(34:41):
called driver and it's at thefilm festival circuit.
So they just had the premiere atTribeca Film Festival.
I wasn't able to attend thatpremiere, but I was at the DC
Docs Film Festival and at thatshowing there were people in the

(35:03):
audience watching thisdocumentary from the FMCSA, the
Department of Labor, women'sBureau, and the White House
showed up to watch thisdocumentary about women truck
drivers and the things that wetalked about, the things that
don't get talked about, like nothaving a bathroom or you know
how we're treated by people andthings like that, and just the

(35:24):
isolation and the loneliness and, you know, like eating your
meal balanced on your knees,you're driving down the road and
it's a really insightful lookinto the really mysterious and
unknown world of what it's liketo be a driver, and especially a
woman driver out here.

And is there a way that we could watch the
documentary at this stage, or isthere a way that we could?

Jess Gra (35:46):
we could check it out, we could watch the documentary
at this stage or is there a waythat we could?
We could check it out, keep aneye on the streaming services
and I definitely will announcewhen it gets released.
Right now I think there's acouple of bids that from the big
streaming services as to who'sgoing to get the rights to
premiere it on their platforms.

(36:07):
So but yeah, right now there'sa couple more film festivals and
then once the film festivalcircuit clears up and opens up,
then it'll be available for thestreaming services to pick up.

I love that.
That's so fun.
Okay, Jess, do you haveanything else you want to share
before we wrap up?

Jess Gra (36:26):
I definitely think that on top of the chair that I
carry.
One other thing that I think,as a woman driver, is so
important, because we don't wantto end up feeling like a man in
a man's world as we drive daily, we've got our ball cap and our
jeans or sweatpants on, on ourjeans or in, you know,

(36:49):
sweatpants on.
One thing that I've always beengood about carrying is a little
black dress and a pair ofsandals so that anytime I want,
I can get dressed up and go out.
Love that.
That's one of the keys to thehappiness.
You know, I'm a girly girl and II like to do my hair and makeup
and wear dresses and I drive indresses.
Um, they, they tease me that Icarry a ball gown in my dress
and I said, no, it's just a promdress, it's not, it's not a

(37:12):
full formal regalia, it's justfor prom.
Um, you know, but that you knowlike, because I have friends
that were, you know, uh, they'vegot their flip flops and then
they got their dress flip flopsand you know, you know, if it's

(37:32):
a special occasion, she mightput on a button up shirt, but
then there's me and I'm I'mshowing up in T length cocktail
dress and high heels, you know.
So it it just it shows that youknow.
Um, there's such a diversepopulation of women Like we're
not all the same, you know, anduh, I don't want to lose my
femininity just because I'm inan industry that's dominated by

(37:52):
males Like I.
I still want to be true to who Iam and myself, and get my
grandma told me early on youknow, when you're having a bad
day, that's the day you need toget up and fix your face and
hair the most.
So do it.
You know.
If you're, if you're strugglingwith something, if you're
struggling with your isolationor your depression or just being
out in the truck or you'refrustrated, go take your shower.

(38:14):
Like, give yourself that momentof normalcy, give yourself that
moment of treating yourself tojust being, humanizing yourself
and being a person.
Get up, fix your hair, put onyour nicest outfit and charge
through your day and it works.

I really love this idea because, even if you
know like, think about for menor whatever your thing is at
home, like try to think outsidethe box about way you can still
have some of your normalcy ofyour life while doing this road,
I heard a driver just the otherday say, you know, looking at
the sacrifices that I'm making,I'm just constantly driving away
from my home and family and youknow he's feeling very stuck,

(38:58):
like it's not worth the money.
But there are really practicalways that we can find to still
live a happy, whole, fulfilledlife where it doesn't feel like.
You know people that work anine to five.
You know they don't feel likeall they do is ever work.
And, granted, our hours aremuch longer we are actually
working much longer hours butthere's still ways to find joy

(39:21):
out here and to enjoy thelifestyle and make the most of
the opportunity.
Because this is, you know,there's potential for really
good money, so a really greatway to provide for our families
or save for our futures or dothe fun things, whatever our
priorities are.
But it does take intentionality,and I hear that throughout your

(39:41):
whole episode, jess, honestlyjust talking about
intentionality and being reallyproactive, and I love the way
that your mindset is about whatcan I do?
What can I do to improve mysituation?
What can I do?
You know, what can I do toimprove my situation?
What can I do to plan for thisnext time and to overlook.
I really love the intentionalway that you're living and
you're having a great life outhere, and there's reasons

(40:03):
because you've done those things.
You've been intentional andyou've taken power and control
over issues that you care about.
So I love it.
I love every bit of it.

Jess Gra (40:08):
It's taken 12 years for me to get to this point but,
like I said, I have a reallygood group of friends and it's
really important for driversstarting in the industry to try
and find their tribe and beingpart of groups like yours that
are encouraging.
You know, sharing these hotlittle secrets and these these

(40:29):
ways of just incorporating beinga human and not just a faceless
robot passing through you knowthat definitely.
I think, more so than a lot ofthe other groups that I'm in is
actually addressing the issue ofhow to actually learn to live

(40:50):
this lifestyle, because it is alifestyle.
This is not a job, and truckinghas never been a job.
It has always been a lifestyle.
So you can either let itconsume you or you can take
charge and you can rule it.

I once was driving and I stopped by to talk
to people when I'm out, likeyou, and I met a driver and he
said you said I don't truck likeyou do.
I had just shown him picturesof places that I was in his area
.
I was out west.
I don't usually go out there,so there's so much I wanted to
see and do.
When I was out there and I wasshowing him some pictures, he's
like this is my area, you're inmy territory, this is the region

(41:28):
that I run and I I don't taketime to do those things.
And I was just really curious.
I was like well, why don't you?
And he said you know, honestly,I'm, I have, I have little kids
at home and a wife and, um, Ifeel bad, I feel guilty, like
going out and doing those thingsthat you know my family wished
they could be doing with them.
And I'm like you know, becauseof course, their family, his
family, misses them and you knowwishes, you know he wasn't

(41:48):
doing a reset out of state, butyou know he does, though, so
he's not doing it I'm like going.
You know I was thinking well,you need to fix that.
You have those conversationswith your family and find a way
to make it work, and you knowwhether you're FaceTiming with
them while you're doing thesethings or, you know, just find
some way to make it work,because it's really not a life

(42:09):
that you want to look back andgo.
All I did was drive and send mymoney home and you know I
didn't get to experience thebeautiful things that we have in
this beautiful country.
And whatever your passions arewhether you like to hike or go
to waterfalls or museums or finddining or restaurants and just
trying different kind ofbarbecue places all over,
whatever your thing is you knowwe don't have to miss out and

(42:31):
the work is hard.
Like you said.
You know we're working on thetruck and having to do paperwork
and also long drive hours, so Idon't even get to go do some
big fun adventure every month.
Sometimes I don't.
I'm just like, okay, I've beenreally all about the work but
but when I can, I reallytreasure those moments and
they're real important to me andeven the memories of them.

(42:52):
I'll look back on my cameraroll and I'm like that was a
great weekend and even justremembering and looking back at
my pictures, it's very, veryhelpful for me.

Jess Gra (43:06):
I used to mail my daughter little packages from my
adventures and things Icollected or, you know, there's
experiencing the differentregions that are outside of your
home.
Like there's a cereal that whenI was teaming, when I first
started, her daughters liked andyou could only get it now in
Oklahoma, and they lived inWashington, and so every time we

(43:28):
passed through Oklahoma she'dstop and pick up a couple of
boxes of it and I tried it and Ibrought it home to my kids one,
you know, one time and so thatbecame the thing that every time
I was out on the road doingthings I would find something
that is specific to that regionthat I was at, whether it's a
candy bar or cereal or somethingthat they can't get at home, to

(43:48):
incorporate them into myadventures and travels.
Um, sending postcards home, youknow, um, it's harder and harder
to mail, but I think collectinglittle things, you know,
whatever your kid is into, umfinding a way to incorporate
that.
Um, I know my neighbor shereally she got sick and she

(44:09):
loved, you know, hearing mystories from the road and she
had a garden gnome on her frontporch and I one day I was
heading out, I swiped her gardengnome and I was going from
Washington down to Florida and Istopped everywhere I could and
I took pictures with that gardengnome and when I got home I
printed them off and put them ina book for her.

Oh, I, love that so much.

Jess Gra (44:33):
So that was a fun trip .
You know, we went all the waydown to Florida and we went to
the beach and you know, and thenI brought the gnome back and
put it on her porch.
I don't even know if sherealized her gnome was gone, but
on her porch was this book andthe gnome was back.
And her gnome was gone but onher porch was this book and the
gnome was back.
And you know, a note that saidsorry we missed you on the

(44:53):
adventure.
And you know that was just onelittle special thing that I was
able to incorporate.
So if you've got kids at homeand you're out here, grab one of
their stuffies and and takepictures with them and let them
know that everything I do outhere on the road, I'm thinking
of you.

I love that.
So great, so fun.

Jess Gra (45:11):
About four years into my career, my best friend who I
met in truck driving school andtoday is still my best friend.
She and I were like you know,we've been out here for like
four years now and we've seenthe whole country but we've
never experienced it.
So one day we had a load and wewere passing through, actually,

(45:33):
new orleans, which is one of myfavorite stopping spots, um,
and we parked at a truck stopand we took a taxi into the
french quarter and we walkedaround for about five hours,
listened to some music, ate somefood, and then we took a taxi
back to the truck and we're like, okay, we have to have to come
back for a longer.
And that's what led me to the,the other meeting of Mary and,

(45:55):
uh, but it was that trip becausewe were both kind of, you know,
struggling financially.
As truckers we have highs andlows and you know, you know,
it's feast or famine out here.
Um, we actually decided that,like that day, as we're walking
through the french quarter, weneed to be proactive about
making sure that anytime we wantto meet up and stop, or anytime

(46:18):
we call each other and say, hey, we need to meet somewhere, we
need to take a 30-40 get out ofthe truck.
I just need my sister bestfriend time.
Anytime we want to be able todo that, we have the money
available.
So we both got a prepaidWalmart card and the green dot
and because we were again bothfinancially unstable at the time
, that was the only one we couldget and it gave you the routing

(46:42):
number and we had payrolldeductions where you could split
your payroll up and everypayroll $25 out of that check
went to that prepaid Walmartcard and it stacks up.
You're not paying attention.
It stacks up so that anytime wecalled each other and said, oh
hey, we're running by each other, we both have time on our loads
, let's stop here or let's stopthere, let's get a hotel room,

(47:03):
let's get dinner, let's.
So we we made a plan to like beconscious about making sure
that anytime we want to go enjoylife out here and see something
or do something, the money'salways there I love this idea so
much.

You're being proactive about the things that
you need while you're out thereto be social, to be able to get
out and enjoy, and you had asimple plan that will make those
funds still available and insmall increments it's
automatically payroll deducted.

Jess Gra (47:38):
I now have a credit card Capital One Venture card
because I can get airline milesand such on it and it saves me
booking on hotels and such whenI book through it.
And that card is literally justfor adventures and I use it
when I stop to go.
You know, um, like my budgetweekly in my when I plan my

(47:59):
budget for how much I'm going tospend out here on the road
every week.
I include the cost of a hotelroom in my budget every week.
Whether I use it or not is upfor debate, because I don't
always get one, but sometimesI'm just driving, it's hot.
My a you can see in this almost30 year old truck is never the
greatest sometimes, um, or Ijust I'm tired of looking at my

(48:20):
four walls and I just I justneed to get out, maybe.
I see I want, I got extra timeon my load and I want to pool.
So I factored into my weeklybudget one hotel room and I have
that card that I use it andthen I pay it off.
So it's, I always have thefunds available Anytime I want
to stop, take an Uber, go, go dosomething, and that's just.

(48:42):
That's more from my $25 a weekbudgeting to include enjoying
life.
To now, I'm stable enough thatI can.
You know, I've got it.
I've got my system in placewhere I'm never going to go
through a place and be like, oh,I don't know, I just can't
afford to stop.

Yeah, so great.
What are some other fun things?
You mentioned New Orleans.
What are some other fun thingsthat you've been able to do
while you're not driving?
Any other adventures ormust-see places that you might
recommend to other drivers thathave been a little more hesitant
to get out of the truck.

Jess Gra (49:15):
San Antonio is always great.
You know, we booked a hotelthere.
We met up one day for like afour-day weekend because it was
one summer.
She had her granddaughter and Ihad my niece riding with me and
they were the same age and theywere friends and um, so we met
up and we went to Schlitterbahn,which is that amazing water

(49:36):
park there in San Antonio, newBrown Fells, and you know, you
know it was.
It was great doing all thewater slides and floating in the
lazy river, just so much fun,um.
And then we did the river walk,and you know, much fun, um, and
then we did the river walk andyou know, just just experienced
San Antonio.
We've we've met up in Chicagoand you know that's where my

(49:56):
broker I use one broker formyself, um, and she plans me out
for the week, um, that's my wayof getting around having a
dispatch services.
I use my, I use one broker andshe just sets me up with freight
and love that broker, and shejust sets me up with freight and
love that.
Yeah, and I'll tell you why Iuse her in a minute.
But you know, one of thebiggest regrets that she and I
have is we were running out toWashington together and we both

(50:17):
had time on our load and we weregoing you know we go.
We don't go up through Utah, wewould cut up to US 30, 30
through Kenimer, like you know,and around, and you'd go through
um the hot Springs and hot lavaSprings and I think Idaho or
Oregon, one of the I can'tremember exactly, but one of

(50:38):
these times where we're like weshould stop and float down the
river and we didn't, and to thisday we still regret it.
So, like that's one of thosethings that like, if you feel
like you want to stop somewhere,even if it's just for an hour
or two, do it.

That's a great tip right there because you
circle back around.
You think I'll do it next time,but it's like, if you have time
, like make it happen.

Jess Gra (51:00):
I love that yeah, like work, like work on building
your trip planning skills up sothat you can include extra
stopping time somewhere.
Like I, I trip plan based, likeI set my ETA with my broker
based on you know what I can run.
And then I also add in a nap.
Like, literally, my trip planevery day has me taking a one

(51:21):
hour nap, whether I use it ornot.
If I don't use it, I'm ahead ofschedule.
If I do, if I need it, it wasbuilt in and I'm not gonna set
myself up for failure.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's like you have to.
You have to actually like beconscious about planning.
You know, like, if you know upahead, you've got a little bit
of time, don't dilly dally, putthe, put the metal down, don't

(51:42):
get the stopsies and you know,stop at every truck, stop along
the way, get there so that youcan can actually get out and see
what you want to see.
One of the places that I don'tgo to anymore but I really want
to is that statue in SouthDakota of the native woman with
the blanket.
You know what I'm?
Talking about.

(52:02):
I can't remember her name, butit's just some of those bucket
lists.
You know, one time I had a loadthat took me up and I was
running, uh, back roads up toHurricane Utah, um, and I was
passing right by the GrandCanyon.
You know, I stopped, um, Ibuilt it in my, I knew I was

(52:22):
going that way and I routedmyself that way just so that I
could stop.
And in Williams, and I took thetrain up, saw the Grand Canyon,
took the train back to Williamsand then continued on my way.
You know, if you see a roadsideattraction, stop.
I follow Stephanie Stuckey,who's rebuilding the Stuckey's
brand, and I love her becauseshe stops at any, any anything.

(52:45):
You know, and that's my thing,when I see a sign for world's
largest whatever, even if Ican't stop, it's on the road, so
at least that's, I can get offthe highway and take the road
that it is on.
I can at least slow down alittle bit and be like that's
pretty cool.

Yeah, I love that.
You know.
One of the things, jess, that Ilove about our Enjoying Life
OTR Facebook group is becausepeople can, you know, sometimes
we just stumble across somethinggreat that has truck parking.
It's right off the highway, itwasn't planned, it's just a
random thing.
We can share these stops, likeif you're passing through.
And now, like the community isgrowing, so you know, you can

(53:22):
search.
You know South Dakota and see,is there something you know that
people have posted about?
And you know South Dakota andsee, is there something you know
that people have posted aboutand it happens to be, you might
find something that's just righton your route.
So I guess a way we couldincorporate it into our trip
planning, because you know,finding these places and
overcoming the challenge of whatam I going to do with the truck
and you know how far off theroad is it.
You know it's like it's it's anadded burden to try to do all

(53:44):
that leg work.
So when we do stumble acrosssomething fun to do and there's
truck parking and you know, orit's, you know, easily
accessible to truck parking, youknow a short Uber ride or
there's a restaurant that'lldeliver to the truck stop or
whatever the little tip is thatwe could share with each other,
it just makes taking some ofthat extra labor out of finding
fun things to do and sharingthem with the community.

(54:07):
So I love all of these thingsthat you've shared.

Jess Gra (54:11):
So many of us are.
I mean, it makes me sad when Isee drivers and you can see them
they're stuck in a truck stopfor the whole weekend and you
know, yeah, I haven't felt likesometimes I've been parked in a
random place and haven't feltlike exploring, I'm just tired
or I've got paperwork to do,because, you know, as an owner
operator, it's up to me to do mypaperwork, um, you know, but,

(54:33):
uh, making yourself comfortableeven in your own space, like I
said, my truck is set up with, Irotated my bed so it runs along
the passenger side.
I don't have a passenger seat.
That's where my toolbox fits.
And then I actually have atable with a desk and a chair in
my truck so that I can pull outmy paperwork and sit at it,

(54:54):
because up until then I wastrying to balance my laptop on
my steering wheel, and you knowthat's exhausting, eating every
meal, because I don't likeeating on my bed.
Eating every meal on my steeringwheel, that's not fun.
Right, you know I want to paintmy nails.
I'm trying to do that at thesteering wheel or on my bed.
That's like none of this is fun.

(55:14):
Yeah, you know, but you knowthings I carry just for even
times where I don't feel likeexploring, is like my camp chair
and my umbrella.
I have a little umbrella that Ican pop up on my camp chair and
I can just get out, open thechair up and sit in front of my
truck.
Or if there's a grassy knoll inthe wherever I'm at, I can go

(55:40):
sit in the shade.
Or rest areas are my favoritebecause they tend to have some
space and I just I have my campchair and I'll I'll be reading
my book or doing whatever I'mdoing, just getting out like
getting out of the box.

You know, sometimes staring at the walls
will make you crazy.
I love that and even if I'mlike too tired to go out, like I
don't feel like going on a hikeor I've got some other work to
do, but even just sitting anhour outside and you know, at a
rest stop or something, freshair yeah, take my shoes off, run
my feet through the grass.

Jess Gra (56:05):
Yes, you know um that like feeling that connection
with the earth.
You know that's my favoritething is I hate shoes, so I will
.
I will find a rest area like.
Ohio is great.
They have great rest areas withlike beautiful grass.
My friend, michelle, calls itdog grass because he loves to go
tromping through the grass.
Um, so she's always on thatquest to find the best dog grass

(56:27):
.
And ohio, the rest area, islike I will take my shoes off
and just walk through the grassand then go back to my truck and
carry on, but it's just, it's amoment, it's getting away from
the hustle and bustle and givingmyself a moment of peace or
reflection or quiet or normalcy.
You know that it's the mostimportant thing out here.

Yes, so refreshing for your soul,
especially as an owner-operator,because you always are thinking
about the trucking company andthe business and the thing, and
you know even the maintenanceand taking care of your truck.
I mean, it's so all-consuming.
So those little moments like Ieven think that, as much as I
love to adventure, you know joyin life OTR is my thing, and you
know enjoying life OTR is mything, and you know.
But even for me sometimes it'slike I can't, I need to just

(57:10):
have some downtime, I need tosleep in and you know I want to.
I'm going to binge some Netflix, I just got to chill.
But just great, even just foran hour to get outside and enjoy
some fresh air.

Jess Gra (57:24):
Yeah, I know, matthew, he end of the quarter for us is
always a that first week afterthe end of the quarter is a
difficult week because we haveto like close out our, our
quarters, paperwork across theboard and do all of that stuff.
And I'm like God, why are yougiving me your hardest battles?
And Matthew's like literallyjust do your IFTA.
It's not that hard.

(57:44):
Like I, he goes it would beeasier if he did it every week.
I said it would.

I'm not gonna, but it would be easier.
That sounds good in theory,yeah, like.

Jess Gra (57:55):
I, I do it the first week of the quarter, the new
quarter, and then the secondweek.
I've completely forgot about it.
And then you know you're happy,it's over.
Yeah, yeah, like then I'm overit.
And he's like I don't call youcrazy for nothing and I'm like
correct.

Okay.
So, um, before we wrap up.
You said you homeschooled for awhile on the truck, could you?
Can we talk about that beforewe wrap up?
I feel like I don't want tomiss this opportunity.
How long did you homeschool?

Jess Gra (58:28):
We did it for fifth grade and then she was
struggling in ninth grade so Iwent and picked her up and we
did it for ninth grade.
My first adventure with her was, you know, I was doing it at
homeschool.
That was back when we picked upthe workbooks and she worked
through the workbooks and wehave some fun times.

(58:50):
She's sitting in the.
Having a kid in the truck withyou full-time, part-time you
really have to kind of push theminto your schedule because we
have crazy schedules.
But if your kid's sleeping allday while you're driving all, or
sleeping all night while you'redriving all night, then they're
gonna be bouncing around whenyou're trying to sleep and

(59:10):
that's not safe for anybody.
So you know, the rule was shehad 30 minutes from when I got
up and started moving the truckto be up in the passenger seat.
You didn't have to be awake,you didn't have to be
functioning, you had to be inthe passenger seat though.
Great tip love that, and youknow managing space in the truck
.
She had one of those footlockersize totes from Walmart that

(59:33):
was at the end of the top bunkstrapped in, and that was when
she was packing for the truck.
Everything had to fit in therebecause they will take over and
you do not want to get hit witha shoe and a book and a laptop
in the face when you're tryingto sleep, because it falls down
from the top bunk, because theyroll around and knock their
stuff off.
And I promise you a laptop tothe face at three in the morning

(59:55):
is not as fun as it sounds.
No, it doesn't sound fun at all, but you know.
So we would be driving down theroad and she'd come up on a math
problem and then be like Idon't understand this.
So she'd get out her dry mathproblem and then be like I don't
understand this.
So she'd get out her dry erasemarkers and she would write it
on the side window or on thewindshield and so that I can

(01:00:16):
drive and I can glance over andwe can walk through the problem
like actively teaching as I'mrolling down the road.
And her spelling test was, youknow, dry erase marker on the
windshield and I'm I'm sayingthe words and she's got to write
them out on the windshield andthen when I stop I'll look them
over and grade it.

(01:00:37):
Um, that's awesome.
A little like dry erase markersas a kid in a truck is fun.
There's, you know she's justdrawing on the window writing
notes to other trucks.
You know hon's just drawing onthe window writing notes to
other trucks.
You know, honk your horn.
She asked her how to writebackwards so that they could
read it.
You know, um, that's greatdrawing pictures.
And you know, sometimes she'ddraw like funny faces and, you

(01:01:00):
know, like a mustache, and thenthey'd look over at her and
she'd line up with the mustacheso it looked like she had a
mustache.
It was funny, so fun.
And you know we're sitting in adock and she's like covered my
whole windshield in flowers andhearts.
And then, you know it's easy,it's a giant dry erase board is

(01:01:21):
what your windshield is, and youknow it takes up a little bit
of space.
It doesn't take up a lot ofspace.
You know, for you to draw apicture and color it and occupy
your time, um, and you knowlittle things that we did.
You know we carried softballgloves and softball and you know

(01:01:41):
we'd be playing catch or she'dhave a soccer ball, um, and we'd
kick it around in the grasssomewhere.
You know, um, it was notuncommon for us to back into a
dock at a place and then she puton her roller skates and we go
off to the side outside of thetruck traffic or you know where
we could still be available andpresent if they needed to talk
to us about the load or whatever.
But you know, and she'd be outthere.

(01:02:04):
Uh, roller skating, you knowlittle things like that just
really helped us bond anddevelop our relationship and it
gave her some experiences thatother kids didn't have.
We were out over Halloween andwe weren't sure if she was going

(01:02:28):
to get to trick-or-treat thatyear at fifth grade.
You want to trick-or-treat?
That's prime trick-or-treatingtime.
You are sturdy enough to walksix blocks and get candy from
six.
You're going to hit half thetown and we weren't sure that
year if she was going to get togo trick-or-treating.
So I had a costume.
I had a bag of, you know, mixedcandy that I picked up tucked

(01:02:48):
away, that she didn't know aboutin case we didn't make it
somewhere.
But my dispatcher, who is alsoa former driver and a dad
himself, knew the importance ofthat holiday coming up and the
load that I delivered on October31st was to a Hershey candy
plant.
Are you serious?
We were delivering ingredients.
Oh my gosh.
And if you know about Hersheyand they don't do it as much

(01:03:11):
anymore, but back then it wascommon that when you pulled up
at the Hershey gate they gaveyou a candy bar.
Oh, I love that.
We pulled up to the Hersheygate, I got my bills, I'm out,
and she hops out and she's inher costume and she's got her
pillowcase and she walks up tothe guard shack with me and goes

(01:03:33):
trick or treat.
He opened his desk drawer andemptied the entire desk drawer
of candy for drivers into herbag.
Oh, my gosh, I love one stophalf a pillowcase.
And the second stop was theloves that gave her candy as
well.
Um, so two stops and she gotmore candy than any of her
cousins and she got the goodcandy because it was hershey's.

(01:03:55):
Yeah, um, and so that's.
That's one of those memoriesthat you know stay with you
forever of you know you haveyou've trick-or-treated, but
have you ever trick-or-treatedat a hershey plant?

Cindy Tunstall (01:04:07):
oh my gosh, so great.
Well, thanks for coming on theshow, Jess, I sure appreciate
you so many great topics thatyou shared and so much wisdom
and really just love yourproactive approach to life.
Honestly, you just have so muchto offer and I want to tell the
audience how to get in touchwith you.

(01:04:27):
I know you're an active part ofEnjoying Life OTR Facebook
group so they can connect withyou there, but are there other
ways your socials or thingswhere they can find you and
connect with you if they want tofollow your story or get in
touch somehow?

Jess Gra (01:04:40):
Absolutely All my socials are R-I-G-J-E-S-S rigged
.
Yes, you know, and so I'm onTikTok, LinkedIn, Twitter,
Facebook.
Cash app.
If you want to send me a cash Imean, I'm always looking for
money for adventures, but I'mjust kidding.
Um, definitely, I love sharingstories and if, if people do

(01:05:02):
actually just reach out to me ifthey have a question about,
like some of the harder topicsthat we talked about, always
reach out to me and I will helpget you pointed in the right
direction or who to talk tosounds great.

Cindy Tunstall (01:05:13):
Thanks so much for coming on.
It honored me.
I'm happy to get to share yourstory.
Thanks for coming on the show,absolutely all right truckers.

Dino Grigoriadis (01:05:22):
This is dino wrapping up another awesome
episode of enjoying life, otr.
Wow j.
Jess really dropped someknowledge bombs on us today.
From advocating for bettertruck parking to finding
creative ways to stay connectedwith family, she's given us some
fantastic strategies to enhanceour lives on the road.
Remember, it's all about beingproactive, whether that's

(01:05:43):
planning for adventures,budgeting for fun or speaking up
to improve our industry.
If you want to connect withJess and learn more, you can
find her in the Enjoying LifeOTR Facebook group or check out
her socials under the handle RigJess.
That's R-I-G-J-E-S-S.
She's on TikTok, linkedin,twitter and Facebook, linkedin,

(01:06:07):
twitter and Facebook.
And hey, don't forget to tunein next week when Melinda Fox
Wellington brings us anotherinspiring guest to help us
become healthier and bettertruckers.
Until then, this is Dino, yourroadie and guide on the side,
reminding you to keep ontrucking while enjoying life OTR
.

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