January 28, 2025 • 39 mins
In this episode, we're breaking down how the arrows work, beyond "Stress" and "Growth." I was first introduced to this theory a number of years ago, and it has revolutionized the way I teach the Enneagram AND the way I apply the arrows in my daily life.
This episode features one example of movement to the high side, and one example of movement to the low side, but I've written all about this perspective in Enneagram in Real Life, featuring more examples of each movement and strategies to build more of the high side of each arrow.
Enneagram in Real Life is out TODAY! Be sure to grab your copy wherever books are sold.
Want to keep learning about the Enneagram? Grab Steph’s new book, Enneagram in Real Life! Find the book, ebook, or audiobook wherever books are sold.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:07):
Welcome or welcome back to anygram in real life.
The podcast where we explore howto apply our Enneagram knowledge
in our daily lives.
I'm your host, Stephanie Barronhall.
And on today's episode, we aretalking all about the arrows.
So, if you're familiar with theEnneagram, then you have
probably heard about the arrowsbefore, but if not, I'm going to
(00:27):
explain a little bit about whatI mean by that.
And what you need to know aboutthem.
So the arrows are anotherhelpful way to see more dynamic
movement within the Enneagram,each type can access to types.
It's connected to you on theEnneagram diagram.
So, if you can picture anEnneagram diagram, you'll notice
that wherever your number is onthe diagram, there are two lines
(00:51):
that cross the diagram.
So for example, for type three,You'll see that you're connected
to type six and type nine.
Something that I think sometimespeople get confused is that they
can just decide which arrowsthey have, but it's actually
part of the integration of thediagram overall.
Um, but today I want to talk alittle bit about why I see the
(01:13):
arrows differently than someother Enneagram teachers and why
I think it's a really importantway of understanding this.
So some Enneagram teachersconsider one arrow, the growth
or the integration arrow, andthe opposite arrow, the stress
arrow, or disintegration arrow.
And what's meant here byintegration or disintegration,
is that when you're doing reallywell, you go one direction and
(01:35):
when you're not doing well, yougo the other direction.
And you know, that a lot oforiginal Enneagram books that
we, many of us have read, likethe wisdom of the Enneagram,
teach the arrows this way.
But after a few years of workingwith clients, one-on-one I just
found that this was not windingup in practice.
Like I would work with somebody.
Whether that was in a typinginterview or a coaching.
(01:56):
And I would say, this is howthis works.
And they'd be like, yeah, butcan it go the other way?
Cause I really see it going theother way too.
And I started to notice in myown life that it goes the other
way to meaning.
Um, as a type three myself, thenI've, I've noticed myself
accessing good parts of the typenine and, um, some of the bad
parts or unhealthy parts of typesix.
(02:18):
And so that would kind of beopposite of what we would expect
when we're using that strictstress or growth.
Framework.
So upon for the research I beganto uncover.
A more dynamic way of looking atthe arrows.
So I was first introduced tothis.
Through the books.
the complete any grant byBeatrice Chestnut and then also
through Sandra Maitri sole childtheory.
(02:38):
So if you've read the book, thespiritual dimension of the
Enneagram.
You can find her concept of thesoul child in that book.
It's actually toward the veryback of the book.
Um, it's not in the chaptersthemselves, so make sure you
check the table of content.
If you have it.
Um, that's where you can findthat content.
And then when I was doing mytraining with the Chestnut Paice
Enneagram academy, I learnedeven more about this and it
(03:00):
really solved a lot of issuesfor me because one of the main
challenges.
To how I previously taught andhave learned.
Um, this concept is that.
The stress and growth points,you know, quote unquote stress
and quote unquote growth.
It seems simple, but thesimplicity didn't really convey
reality for us.
So this way of teaching it, thatI'm going to share with you
today actually allows us toobserve freer movement between
(03:25):
the types.
So the full access that we eachhave to, the other points is
better represented.
When.
Described as a flow between thetypes of flow with the arrows.
Um, and that means we can accessthe positive and negative
aspects of both arrows.
So I first taught it this way.
About four years ago when Icreated my course Enneagram in
(03:47):
real life, the course, and.
I've just further hone anddefine this since then.
So I renamed the points.
Um, so one point is the recoverypoint.
And if you look at an Enneagramdiagram, Most traditional
Enneagram diagrams, for example,on the cover of the complete
Enneagram book.
You'll notice that the linesactually have directional arrows
(04:10):
to them.
and so this is a traditional wayof illustrating the Enneagram.
Sometimes people.
We'll kind of do the arrows.
Like both ways, like away fromthe core type.
But I actually think it helpsyou remember.
Which one I'm calling therecovery in which one I'm
calling the transformation.
If you keep those directionalarrows in mind.
(04:31):
Let's think about type two, forexample, as the core type.
Type four.
Is the recovery point.
So on those traditionalEnneagram diagrams.
The arrow from four is directedat two.
So from type two, we're goingagainst the arrow.
And that will be the recoverypoint.
So anytime you're looking at oneof those diagrams and you.
(04:52):
Go against the arrow and that'sthe recovery point.
And then type eight from typetwo is the transformation point.
So the recovery point featuresand aspect of the self that you
need to recover and develop topave the way for growth.
This is sometimes the one that'salso called the security.
Or growth number, but thatdoesn't quite capture what we
(05:12):
really need to happen here.
And so some teachings likeBeatrice Chestnut and Rania
pies, and then also Sandra, myATRI.
Would say that this is the pointthat we need to go back and
revisit to get something from.
So that's kind of where thisoverlaps with the soul child
theory.
Also, if you've read the book,the Enneagram guide to waking up
by Beatrice Chestnut and Torontopies.
Um, the opening of each chapterfor each of the types.
(05:34):
Illustrates a little bit of asynopsis of, what it might've
looked like for a childlikeversion of that type to live in
that.
So for example, For type two, itwould have been like the
childlike version of type four,um, is kind of their inner life,
their inner dialogue.
and so those have been yet.
Illustrate even more succinctlythe sole child's theory.
Then the transformation point isthe direction of sustainable
(05:57):
growth.
So the term transformationconveys the metamorphosis that's
available to us when we accessthis aspect of ourselves.
And a little bit of my theory.
Is that.
The high side of thetransformation point.
Um, you'll see a lot of the samequalities that you'll actually
see.
If you look at the virtue ofyour type.
(06:19):
That's not something that'snecessarily in any gram Canon,
but it's kind of the way that Isee it.
And so I'll use my type as anexample again.
So for type three, Um, thetransformation point is type
nine.
And the virtue of three isveracity.
And at the high side of nine.
There is.
(06:40):
This sense of being really trueto yourself, um, and really
sticking by your morals and likehaving an innate sense of worth
and understanding of your trueworth.
And so I feel like there is anoverlap there of.
The virtue of the type and thehigh side of the transformation
point.
But even though we have, youknow, the recovery point, that
transformation point.
(07:01):
We can move both directions., inmultiple ways.
So when we're less conscious, wecan easily pick up the lower or
average aspects of either type.
And so when I say lessconscious, what I really mean is
when we're tired, when we'rejust drifting, when we haven't
been taking good care ofourselves, when we're just.
Stressed or overwhelmed or allthese different things.
(07:22):
Like when we're not reallypaying attention, um, we can
just drift to both of thosesides.
So right now, think about yourtype.
And think about both of thoseairlines and you might see some
aspects of the lower side.
Of both of the types.
In your life.
Okay.
So then the growth process hereis to build our ability to
intentionally access the higherside of both types.
(07:46):
So even though I alreadymentioned, you know, there,
there is kind of an order to it.
Like you work through therecovery point first and then
the transformation point.
I think it's possible for all ofus to access the higher side of
both of the types.
So in my new book, any Grimm inreal life.
Each.
Type.
Has instructions on how tobuild.
The high side of each of theirarrow types.
(08:08):
So there are a couple ofpractices that will kind of help
you integrate and help you buildthose more.
And I really liked that anglebecause I.
Love the idea of finding moreintegration and balance through
the Instagram overall.
So we're not just focused on ourown type, but also focus on our
connections as well.
And so I think that perspectiveis really helpful and important.
(08:28):
But for today.
What I want to share with you isa little snippet of each of the
types.
So I'm going to start with typeeight and I'm going to share a
little bit about the recoverypoint and what that could look
like.
And then the transformationpoint.
So for type eight.
The recovery point is type two.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside.
(08:50):
Of type two.
Could really look like beinginvasive and controlling,
especially around fixingeveryone else's life.
Like sometimes when eights arein this space.
They really think I know best,actually.
And if you don't listen to me,you're kind of an idiot.
And I have heard eight sayalmost exactly that.
But sometimes it's not thatovert.
(09:11):
And sometimes there is kind ofthat assumption of like, well,
they didn't do what I said, so.
They made their own bed.
And it can be this way of beingreally invasive and not
respecting the other person'sautonomy.
And so that's an unintentionaldrift to the lower side of type
two.
Now intentional movement to thehigher side of type two could
(09:31):
look like.
Offering themselves kindness andsupport now.
Eights.
Tend to have like a let's justconquer and push through this
attitude.
And that's their perspective ona lot of things.
And.
Healthy twos are able to supportthemselves and offer kindness
and offer compassion.
And so when eights access thathealthy aspect of type two,
(09:54):
they're able to not onlyacknowledge their own needs and
that they need love, they needto reach out and they need
community, but also offerthemselves that kindness and
support that they're missingwhen they are not accessing
this.
Hi side of their era movement.
The transformation point fortype eight is type five.
So unintentional drift to thelower side could look like.
(10:16):
Using all of the data thatthey're gathering and all of
their analysis to form reallycutting arguments and pushing
people away to avoid anyemotional connection.
The low side of five being like,Gaining all this information and
then using it to isolatethemselves from other people and
especially being a little bitdomineering in terms of, well,
I'm just smarter than you, or,you know, again, like you're
(10:36):
kind of an idiot.
Um, taking that perspective.
So that's the low side of five.
And then the high side of five,so intentional movement to the
higher side of five.
Could look like just pausingfirst to gather more information
before reacting and taking theirtime to say, Hmm.
I'm going to think about that,or I'm going to look through
that or I'm going to processthat and then coming back to it.
(10:58):
So really accessing that aspectof five And using it as a way to
not only pause and gatherthemselves mentally, but also
using it as a way to gauge theirown.
Abilities and what they can dophysically and not push
themselves way too hard.
Next we have type nine.
So the recovery point for typenine is type three.
(11:18):
So unintentional direct to thelower side of type three.
Could be using busy-ness todisconnect from themselves.
Now nines already have atendency to disconnect from
themselves and threes,especially do this when.
They really don't want to feeltheir feelings.
They don't really want to.
Get too in the weeds in terms ofintrospection.
And so they get really busy.
(11:39):
That's what?
Three suits.
They get busy.
And so nines can actually accessthat.
And I've seen it a lot of a wayof.
Narcotizing in a sense of wherethey're just being like, I'm
just going to get as busy aspossible and that will help me
cope.
So that's the low side of three.
And intentional movement to thehigher side of three.
Could look like applyingthemselves.
Toward their goals and feelinginspired by their own efforts.
(12:01):
And I love this for ninesbecause it's not only just
applying themselves, whichalready takes gargantuan effort
for nines.
But also being like, I'm doingthis for myself and I inspire
myself like taking on thatattitude and I think more threes
do that, especially socialthrees.
You see that a lot where they'relike, I'm inspired by my own
efforts.
And so I really want nines toaccess.
(12:23):
That aspect of three, because Ithink it's a really healthy
space for them.
Then the transformation pointfor tech nine is type six.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside could look like.
This frustration that no one islooking out for them.
So the frustration really comesfrom nines.
Having this underlying anger.
But then the frustration is thatno one is looking out for them
(12:46):
in the way that they want orneed.
And I think sometimes sixes,especially self pres.
Sixes, but other sixes as well,really feel like everyone is out
to get them.
And like the world is againstthem.
When they're in an unhealthyspace.
And so when I access that theyget really angry that just like
they're all alone and no one islooking out for them.
And they, they start to getreally resentful over that.
Intentional movement to thehigher side of type six.
(13:09):
Could look like.
Becoming alert and awareparticipants in their lives.
And what I mean by this is.
They.
Are no longer narcotizing orchecking out they're really
active in their lives andthey're making choices.
And there.
Having their own agency.
Now sixes can struggle withindecision, but when six is, are
a little bit healthier, Theytrust themselves more.
(13:31):
And.
They decide.
Okay, I'm going to takeresponsibility here and I'm
going to take agency here andI'm going to make a decisive
choice and that's what nines canaccess here.
So for type one, the recoverypoint is type seven.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside of type seven could be.
Escaping into stimulation andbehavior that they'll later
(13:52):
regret.
Such as overspending or excessof some sort.
And I see this the most.
When we talk about the trapdoorbehavior for once.
where one's.
Do something that they it'sactually morally and ethically
wrong to them, but they justcan't help themselves almost.
It's like, I've been so good forso long.
And I just have to let loose.
(14:13):
And I think that that'sactually, I'm indicative of the
low side of type seven.
Where they are really out ofcontrol and they just need
something stimulating.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side.
Of type seven could be leaninginto playfulness and letting go
of some of those inhibitionsthat often.
Are holding them and that theyreally rely upon.
(14:33):
For a sense of psychologicalsafety.
And recognizing that.
Playfulness can be part ofpsychological safety, too.
And I think that's reallyhealthy for ones to access.
and I always love.
seeing ones be more playful andfun because that's in there and
almost all ones that I know.
but they don't always let itout.
So I really like seeing thatside.
Of them.
Then the transformation pointfor type one is type four.
(14:54):
So unintentional drift to thelower side could have type four,
could be just moving beyond.
The I'm wrong.
I need to do better, which isoften the internal monologue of
a type one.
Two, there's something deeplyirredeemably wrong with me and
going into like thishopelessness or despair.
That's really common in thelower side of type four.
(15:14):
Intentional movement to thehigher side of type four.
Could look like just thinkingoutside the box and tapping more
into their creativity, andleaning on imperfection and
trusting the process.
Type fours are so good at beingmore creative.
They don't always have to becreative as in like artsy, but
just kind of thinking aboutthings differently and seeing
(15:35):
things from lots of differentangles for see a lot of nuance,
a lot of gray area.
And I think ones do really wellwhen they're able to access a
lot more of that and to reallydiscover and integrate that into
their daily perspective.
Okay.
Tied to.
So the recovery point for typetwo is tight for so
unintentional drift to the lowerside could look like.
(15:55):
Feeling or expressing that noone is taking care of me or my
needs, or really just ingeneral, becoming more moody and
pouty than they would typicallybe.
Um, obviously this is not howall type fours act, but the low
side of type four, that's veryevident.
And I think a lot of the timefor us can.
Have sort of this victimmentality of really wanting
other people to swoop in andsave them.
(16:17):
And so when twos access that,they still have their
emotionality from being a two aswell.
And so they might just say,nobody's taking care of me,
nobody's meeting my needs and,and feeling really upset about
that.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side of type four, could
be really making a lot of spacefor and acknowledging their
normal human needs.
(16:38):
Like the needs for love andattention and belonging and self
care.
Like fours are a lot moreintrospective than twos.
Typically are.
And so.
To sometimes have a really hardtime tapping into.
What they actually need.
And I think when they move tothat high side of four, they can
be a lot more aware of that andthey can actually work then to
meet those needs instead of kindof suppressing them and then
(16:59):
feeling really resentful.
and so it can be a really,really healthy space for twos to
be a lot more introspective andto look into themselves and say,
what is it that I really want orneed or dream of and asking
themselves those good questionsthat fours are often thinking
about.
Then the transformation pointfor type two is type eight.
And unintentional drift to thelower side could be.
(17:20):
Kind of the flip side of what wealready talked about for type
eights, it's becoming demandingand bossy and controlling.
The low side of eight and thelow side of two.
Both have this kind of demandingattitude.
So when a two is accessing thelow side of type eight, it's
like.
They become really assertiveabout what they want and need.
And a lot of it is propelled bythis energy of, of not having
(17:43):
their needs met for so long.
And they're like, I'veabsolutely had it.
Like you have to meet my needsnow.
And, that can be a really toughplace for them to be in, in
their relationships.
And then intentional movement tothe higher side of type eight.
Could look like.
Knowing what is there to do andwhat isn't so they can say no.
And.
They can say no to anything oranyone.
(18:04):
And they know that the worldwill go on.
And they don't always have to bethe one to step up.
And this is an incredible giftfor twos.
To really have this strength tosay, no, that's actually.
Not for me.
I don't have to be the one to dothat.
and it can be alarming actuallyfor people around them, but it's
really, really important for,to, to learn how to protect
themselves in this way.
And I think that the selfprotection that they get from
(18:26):
accessing their eight arrow canbe really healthy and a really
important.
Part of them leading morebalanced lives and setting
boundaries and things like that.
And I think that's something Iwant to note here as well.
Is that the arrows offer usresources that we don't
naturally access.
If we're only looking at our owntype.
but a lot of the time, and we'lltalk about this in a moment with
Type three as well.
(18:48):
A lot of the time we can learnreally important lessons and we
get specific wisdom from thearrows and we really need them
to be able to protect ourselvesand to move through the world
in.
A more integrated and balancedway.
So for type three, the recoverypoint is type six.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside.
Of type six.
Could look like becoming highlyanxious and insecure and
(19:09):
uncertain, and which reallyrenders them hesitant.
To take risks for fear offailure or letting their image
slip.
And this is a site of threesthat I don't think a lot of
threes allow other people tosee.
But when I talk to threes, theydo feel uncertain.
They do feel anxious and they dofeel insecure at times.
And that's a really importantthing to identify and to
(19:30):
discover and kind of explore.
for threes.
And so they can maybe start toknow, oh, this is like the lower
side of type six.
So intentional movement to thehigher side of type six could
be.
Asking themselves.
They're really good questions.
They've been avoiding and.
This is one of the things thatreally solidified this entire
(19:51):
theory for me, because what Irealized is that as a three, I
wanted to be able to access.
This calm and this Ability torest that I see a lot more in
nines.
But the work that I had to dofirst.
I was to ask myself thesequestions, like reevaluate my
expectations of myself.
And reevaluate where I expectedmy worth to come from.
(20:13):
So for example, instead ofalways saying yes, if somebody
asks me to do something, I woulddo what a six does more often
and say, does this make senseright now?
Am I doing this for myself or myimage?
Right?
Maybe six is, don't ask thatquestion, but they ask
themselves questions.
Is this aligned with what I wantto do moving forward.
Is this you in practical orfeasible?
Like, do I have capacity forthis?
(20:33):
Sixes are really good at askingthemselves those questions.
So I needed to use some ofthose.
To build more space in myschedule.
So that I could have more spacefor rest.
so that's one of the things thatI think is so important about
this.
So then the.
the transformation point fortype three is type nine.
So unintentional drift to thelower side of nine could look
(20:54):
like.
Zoning out, numbing everything,perhaps collapsing on the couch
and watching TV all weekend orbeing unable to get out of bed.
If you know, a three youclosely, like you have lived
with them, you may have seennine mode.
And it can be kind of alarming,I think.
But this is the lower side oftype nine where it's not just
(21:15):
respite.
That's restorative.
It's like And numbing out.
And so three's.
Co could do that.
Intentional movement to thehigher side of nine.
I could look like really slowingdown to intentionally rest,
which allows them to connectwith themselves and others.
And really not focusing so muchon, I have to earn my right to
(21:36):
exist in this world and justtaking for granted, like I
exist.
Like I'm here.
I exist.
and just having a little bitmore ease and.
Space just both for themselvesand for the people around them.
And I think that's a reallyimportant aspect.
Of type nine that threes need tointegrate.
But like I said, we have toreevaluate where worth comes
(21:59):
from first.
And that is what paves away forus to find this space.
All right.
Type four.
So the recovery point for typefour is type one.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside of type one could be.
Extreme black and whitethinking.
So one way that this plays outfor fours is if they feel even
(22:19):
slightly misunderstood,everything is like it's all for
not F just throw everything out.
why even try and really havingthat black and white kind of
perspective on that.
forest in general, find a lot ofnuance and I, and they look at a
lot of gray area, but whenthey're accessing the low side
of one, they can be really blackand white and really
perfectionistic about things.
(22:40):
And that can really trap thembecause it is one of those
things that sends them down thatcomparison spiral.
That is so bad for their mentalhealth.
And so I think it's reallyimportant for them.
To recognize when they'refloating to that low side of
one.
So then intentional movement tothe higher side of one.
Good look like becoming morepractical and structured and
(23:01):
focused.
And finding a way to lean ondiscipline and systems, which
ones are really, really good atones are good at discipline
systems and procedures.
And really accessing those andleveraging them to accomplish
their dreams because for us havethese big expansive dreams, but
sometimes they get caught ininaction and.
(23:23):
Connecting more with type onecan allow them to move more
quickly into action, which one'stypically.
have this way of, of notnecessarily always being quick
to action, but they do movesteadily toward action.
And I think that's somethingthat fours can really benefit
from.
And then the transformationpoint.
It's type two.
(23:43):
So unintentional drift to thelower side of type two could
look like shape-shifting toappease others and avoiding
conflict by sugarcoating orhiding what they feel or think.
Now.
Forrest don't typicallyshapeshift as much as the other
two heart types and they don'ttypically share coat as much as
(24:03):
the other two heart types.
But when they're accessing theslower side of type two, they
are feeling really insecure andthey're feeling really like.
Afraid of the rejection and theabandonment that might come.
And so they start being in thiswishy washy space and really
uncertain of themselves.
And so that state of mind can bereally hard on them and their
relationships.
And then intentional movement tothe higher side of type two can
(24:25):
be.
Really seeking to be of serviceand to support others.
And this is really healthy forfours, I think because,
sometimes when we think aboutfours, we think of Naval casing,
right?
So they're always looking downand they're looking inward.
and it's so helpful for, for usto be able to like look up and
look outward and look ateveryone else around them, not
(24:46):
in a comparative way, but tosay, how can I be of service and
that.
It's actually really, reallyhelpful for them.
And I've seen a lot of foursreally benefit from that because
it helps them be more balancedand be more engaged in the world
and feel less abandoned and feelless misunderstood because.
They're focused on helping otherpeople.
And so that's the high side oftype two that forest can access
(25:09):
their.
And you'll notice that typefours don't have any access.
from the arrows, they do havewing access, but no, Aero access
to the mental center.
And now we're going to talkabout fives who have.
Wing access to the heart center,but no.
Aero access.
So fives are a funny onebecause, Both of their arrows
(25:31):
are like get out of your head.
So the recovery point for typefive is type eight.
And unintentional drift to thelower side of type eight.
Could look like.
Becoming a little bit moreconfrontational and black and
white about arguments.
A lot of the time fives arepretty amenable to other people,
having a different perspective,as long as there's good data.
And then they say, Hey, can youshow me your sources?
(25:52):
And.
You know, I want to look intothat, but they sometimes will
use their feelings ofintellectual superiority to a
certain dominance over otherpeople when they're accessing
the low side of type eight.
and this further as theirisolation, it furthers the
concept of I'm the only personthat I can trust.
And that can be a really badspace for fives, and can make
(26:14):
them.
Prone to more conspiratorialthinking and fear of the outside
world.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side.
Of type eight could look likefeeling more grounded and
embodied.
And really being able to takeaction before they feel fully
ready.
And.
That is so helpful for fivesbecause it allows them to take
(26:35):
all these mental models out oftheir head and put them into
action in the real world.
and that's really useful.
Now you'll notice that some ofthe things that's sometimes
overdue.
Like here, we're talking abouteight.
Being really great at movinginto action.
Sometimes eight overdo that, butfives underdo that.
So we're trying to bring both ofthem into balance and that's
what the airlines help us to do.
(26:55):
Then the transformation pointfor type five is type seven.
So unintentional drift to thelower side of type seven.
Could look like finding,focusing, challenging, which can
interrupt effective action andclarity.
Now.
Five's really enjoy processingthings and feeling really steady
and feeling really even.
(27:17):
And that can be reallychallenging.
Um, if they are accessing theslower side of type seven,
because they can tend to feelmore frantic or more anxious.
And they have a much harder timejust sitting down and focusing
and processing through thethings that they want to think
about.
Um, and that ends up being areally, really stressful
experience for most fives.
Um, and they tend to not likeit, but they don't know what to
(27:37):
do about it.
So that is a good indicationthat they're in this.
Lower.
Seven space.
And then an intentional movementto the higher side.
Could look like.
Opening up a bit more about whothey truly are.
And what's beneath the surfaceand trusting that others truly
wants to get to know them.
So sevens tend to have thisenergy.
(27:58):
That they're kind of like.
Why wouldn't somebody want toget to know me?
Why wouldn't somebody want to bemy friend.
But fives tend to feel likemisfits and they feel a little
bit uncomfortable in the world.
Like the world just wasn't quiteright for them.
It's kind of like, they alwayscan sense.
Having like an itchy seam andtheir clothing or something like
(28:19):
that's how fives often feel justmoving through the world.
And so when they access thehigher side of type seven, they
can have a lot more abundance, alot more freedom, and they just
perceive things differentlybecause they have a lot of that.
Type seven exuberance andpositivity.
Now we have type six.
And.
(28:39):
The recovery point for type sixis type nine.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside of type nine.
Could look like seeing even moresides of every issue.
And then they become more stuckin indecision because they have
even more information.
Available to them, but lessmotivation to move forward.
While nines and sixes can bothbe really indecisive.
(29:02):
Sixes tend to be a little bitquicker to move into action,
then nines are.
And so when sixes are accessingthe low side of type nine, they
feel even more overwhelmed andmore overcome.
With feelings of I don't knowwhat to do.
I can't do this.
And that can kind of just be abad head space for them.
Now intentional movement to thehigh side of nine.
(29:22):
Could look like being able torelax and let things unfold.
Now, nines have this ability tojust say, let's just see how it
goes.
And sometimes it's likeoptimism, I guess.
And.
Maybe positivity, but it's not,not really.
That it's more so well, we don'tknow how it's going to happen,
or we don't know what's going tohappen because nines aren't
doing as much kind of projectingwhat is going to happen out in
(29:45):
the future.
They're like, this is what wehave in front of us now.
We'll just see how it goes.
And so when sixes can accessmore of that, They're able to
calm a lot of that franticenergy that they have moving in
their minds.
And integrate that more and be alittle bit more balanced and
feel a little better about whothey are being in the world.
Then the transformation pointfor type six is type three.
(30:08):
So unintentional drift to thelower side.
Could look like just for geneticactivity, more anxious.
And actually more anxious thanpurposeful.
So.
A lot of the time when sixestake action, they really think
it out and they make sure, okay,there's purpose behind what I'm
doing.
But when sixes are accessing thelow side of type three, they're
(30:30):
not thinking about all of that.
They're just doing, doing,doing, doing, doing.
They have to do something at alltimes.
And so it's really frenetic andit doesn't have a lot of
productivity or purpose in it.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side of type three.
Could look like.
Being able to step into directdecisive action and really have
(30:50):
it well prioritized and say,this is what we're going to do.
And we're going to move forward.
Six is sometimes have a reallyhard time making executive
decisions.
But threes are a lot morecomfortable with that.
So in six is access.
That aspect of threes.
They feel less indecisive, lesshelpful.
They don't doubt themselves orsecond guess themselves as much,
or look for reassurance.
(31:11):
They just have this level ofconfidence that can be really
healthy for them because it alsohelps them build.
Confidence.
Cause they have all thisevidence of like, look, I did it
and I'm doing it and I'm movingforward.
So there's also that optimismthat comes with it and they are
able to see success as aprobable outcome.
So they're not just seeing allthe possible ways everything
(31:32):
could fall apart, but alsosuccess is the most probable
outcome when they're accessinghigh side of type three.
And then last, but never leastwe have type seven.
Their recovery point is typefive.
So unintentional drift to thelower side of type five.
Could look like increasedanxiety about their freedom.
(31:52):
And this is kind of related, Ithink in some ways too.
The five fear of being intrudedupon, but like fives and sevens
both kind of believe no one elseis going to meet my needs.
I have to do that all on my own.
And so when sevens are accessingthe low side of five, they feel
really anxious about this.
they feel anxious at.
(32:14):
They're going to be trapped.
and they would really prefer tobe isolated versus being
intruded upon.
and so they are really.
Even more focused on beingself-sufficient and meeting
their own needs because theyreally don't feel comfortable in
the world as it is.
Intentional movement to thehigher side of five.
Could look like just choosing toadd.
(32:34):
Depth of knowledge, rather thanbreadth of knowledge.
So it's that concept we'resevens tend to have knowledge
that is a mile wide and an inchdeep.
and five, so the opposite.
So when sevens access the highside of five, they really build
these deep Wells of informationand expertise and knowledge that
(32:55):
they can draw upon and relyupon.
And so they're able to focustheir efforts on.
Going deep on a topic versushaving this wide breadth of all
this knowledge though.
The wide breadth of knowledge isgreat.
If you want to go to a trivianight, But sometimes when they
actually want to feel more solidand grounded in their career or
their expertise, it's actuallybetter to do it a little bit
more of the five way.
(33:16):
So we have to have a little bitof balance there.
And then finally thetransformation point of type
seven is type one.
So unintentional drift to thelower side of type one.
Could look like a lot offrustration and irritation.
And resentment, especially whenthings don't work out as
planned.
Now.
The fixation for type seven isplanning.
(33:36):
And.
Sevens, even if they're notletting you know all of this,
they're constantly planningthings.
And sketching things out intheir mind, like how they expect
things to go or how they wantthings to go.
Optimally and the lower side oftype one.
that becomes very rigid.
And so they have all thisfrustration.
They're irritated.
(33:57):
They're resentful that no oneelse is doing enough or doing
their part or people arebringing them down.
And they bring all of thatfrustrated, irritated energy to
the surface.
Frustration is an easier emotionfor a lot of sevens than other
emotions, because.
It kind of is one of thoseblankets it's like right there.
and it also feels less sticky.
(34:18):
So they're able to put it asideand move on.
and so the lower side of typeone, they have a lot of that
frustration and irritation.
and maybe even have an all ornothing mentality about it.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side of type one.
Could look like reallyrecognizing and appreciating.
That having some sort ofparameters and limitations can
(34:40):
be helpful.
rather than a hindrance, like itcan be something that they can
use to their advantage and drawupon.
I sometimes see seven strugglewith this, because they are,
they.
Like I know the sevens.
I get this.
Reputation for beingNoncommittal and.
Kind of flaky or, not finishinghouse projects or whatever else.
(35:02):
But I actually think it's notthat they're noncommittal.
It's more so that That theydon't want to acknowledge?
No, I actually can't do that.
Like I actually have to takethat off my plate.
there is something about certainprojects or certain activities
or whatever that seven to like.
I'm still working on that.
It's just like, not the firstthing I'm working on right now.
and so they kind of are likesaying yes to way too much.
(35:23):
And they have too many thingsthat they're like quasi
committed to, and that's wherethey get into trouble because
they come off as flaky, eventhough they're like, oh, I have
every intention of doing that.
And following through on it.
But it's just not the firstthing I'm doing right now.
and so when sevens access thehigh side of type one, they're a
little bit more able to be like,no, I'm actually not going to
(35:46):
finish.
Resurfacing the bathroom vanity,or actually I'm going to say no
to some of these work projectsthat I really wanted to do.
But it's actually not feasiblefor my team to do all of them.
And so we're going to narrow ourfocus.
So those can be some of thereally helpful aspects of the
high side of one who have a lotmore appreciation for
limitations and structure andsee them as a way to make things
(36:08):
sustainable and sevens canreally access that and find a
lot of freedom.
In saying no, and then reallynarrowing their focus.
So.
We made it through all ninetypes.
And if you want to read more onthis topic, the rest of this is
in my brand new book, any Graemeand real life, make sure you
order it.
there's just a few days left topre-order unless you're
(36:29):
listening to this after the28th, in which case.
You can get it just.
Find it in hardcover ebook oraudio book, wherever books are
sold.
but that's where all of thiscontent today came from.
It's part of what I wrote in mybook.
And I really hope that you pickup a copy if you want to learn
more about the arrows, becausethis is one of the things that I
think is really different fromsome of the other popular
(36:50):
Instagram texts.
And also, I think it's importantto know that this is actually
how a lot of Enneagram teachersare teaching the arrows now.
but some of the texts that werely upon.
Were written a long time ago.
And so.
People changed theirperspectives since they last
wrote a book about it.
So they might teach itdifferently.
(37:11):
Now, even though, you know,those gold standards.
Like wisdom of the Enneagram saysomething different.
I think it's fine that there aredifferences of opinion on how
the integration works in certainways.
But I also think it's importantto note that most Enneagram
teachers.
Who are really well established.
Our teaching the arrows moreclosely to this way.
(37:32):
at this juncture.
So.
Thanks so much for listening andI hope you learned something new
about your arrows or yourself.
and remember, these are justsome examples that I have today.
So there are a lot of other waysthat we can look at ourselves
and identify how the arrows are.
Influencing us in our everydaylives.
So I encourage you to keep thatexploration going and I hope to
(37:53):
meet you back here very soon.
Welcome or welcome back to anygram in real life.
The podcast where we explore howto apply our Enneagram knowledge
in our daily lives.
I'm your host, Stephanie Barronhall.
And on today's episode, we aretalking all about the arrows.
So, if you're familiar with theEnneagram, then you have
probably heard about the arrowsbefore, but if not, I'm going to
(00:27):
explain a little bit about whatI mean by that.
And what you need to know aboutthem.
So the arrows are anotherhelpful way to see more dynamic
movement within the Enneagram,each type can access to types.
It's connected to you on theEnneagram diagram.
So, if you can picture anEnneagram diagram, you'll notice
that wherever your number is onthe diagram, there are two lines
(00:51):
that cross the diagram.
So for example, for type three,You'll see that you're connected
to type six and type nine.
Something that I think sometimespeople get confused is that they
can just decide which arrowsthey have, but it's actually
part of the integration of thediagram overall.
Um, but today I want to talk alittle bit about why I see the
(01:13):
arrows differently than someother Enneagram teachers and why
I think it's a really importantway of understanding this.
So some Enneagram teachersconsider one arrow, the growth
or the integration arrow, andthe opposite arrow, the stress
arrow, or disintegration arrow.
And what's meant here byintegration or disintegration,
is that when you're doing reallywell, you go one direction and
(01:35):
when you're not doing well, yougo the other direction.
And you know, that a lot oforiginal Enneagram books that
we, many of us have read, likethe wisdom of the Enneagram,
teach the arrows this way.
But after a few years of workingwith clients, one-on-one I just
found that this was not windingup in practice.
Like I would work with somebody.
Whether that was in a typinginterview or a coaching.
(01:56):
And I would say, this is howthis works.
And they'd be like, yeah, butcan it go the other way?
Cause I really see it going theother way too.
And I started to notice in myown life that it goes the other
way to meaning.
Um, as a type three myself, thenI've, I've noticed myself
accessing good parts of the typenine and, um, some of the bad
parts or unhealthy parts of typesix.
(02:18):
And so that would kind of beopposite of what we would expect
when we're using that strictstress or growth.
Framework.
So upon for the research I beganto uncover.
A more dynamic way of looking atthe arrows.
So I was first introduced tothis.
Through the books.
the complete any grant byBeatrice Chestnut and then also
through Sandra Maitri sole childtheory.
(02:38):
So if you've read the book, thespiritual dimension of the
Enneagram.
You can find her concept of thesoul child in that book.
It's actually toward the veryback of the book.
Um, it's not in the chaptersthemselves, so make sure you
check the table of content.
If you have it.
Um, that's where you can findthat content.
And then when I was doing mytraining with the Chestnut Paice
Enneagram academy, I learnedeven more about this and it
(03:00):
really solved a lot of issuesfor me because one of the main
challenges.
To how I previously taught andhave learned.
Um, this concept is that.
The stress and growth points,you know, quote unquote stress
and quote unquote growth.
It seems simple, but thesimplicity didn't really convey
reality for us.
So this way of teaching it, thatI'm going to share with you
today actually allows us toobserve freer movement between
(03:25):
the types.
So the full access that we eachhave to, the other points is
better represented.
When.
Described as a flow between thetypes of flow with the arrows.
Um, and that means we can accessthe positive and negative
aspects of both arrows.
So I first taught it this way.
About four years ago when Icreated my course Enneagram in
(03:47):
real life, the course, and.
I've just further hone anddefine this since then.
So I renamed the points.
Um, so one point is the recoverypoint.
And if you look at an Enneagramdiagram, Most traditional
Enneagram diagrams, for example,on the cover of the complete
Enneagram book.
You'll notice that the linesactually have directional arrows
(04:10):
to them.
and so this is a traditional wayof illustrating the Enneagram.
Sometimes people.
We'll kind of do the arrows.
Like both ways, like away fromthe core type.
But I actually think it helpsyou remember.
Which one I'm calling therecovery in which one I'm
calling the transformation.
If you keep those directionalarrows in mind.
(04:31):
Let's think about type two, forexample, as the core type.
Type four.
Is the recovery point.
So on those traditionalEnneagram diagrams.
The arrow from four is directedat two.
So from type two, we're goingagainst the arrow.
And that will be the recoverypoint.
So anytime you're looking at oneof those diagrams and you.
(04:52):
Go against the arrow and that'sthe recovery point.
And then type eight from typetwo is the transformation point.
So the recovery point featuresand aspect of the self that you
need to recover and develop topave the way for growth.
This is sometimes the one that'salso called the security.
Or growth number, but thatdoesn't quite capture what we
(05:12):
really need to happen here.
And so some teachings likeBeatrice Chestnut and Rania
pies, and then also Sandra, myATRI.
Would say that this is the pointthat we need to go back and
revisit to get something from.
So that's kind of where thisoverlaps with the soul child
theory.
Also, if you've read the book,the Enneagram guide to waking up
by Beatrice Chestnut and Torontopies.
Um, the opening of each chapterfor each of the types.
(05:34):
Illustrates a little bit of asynopsis of, what it might've
looked like for a childlikeversion of that type to live in
that.
So for example, For type two, itwould have been like the
childlike version of type four,um, is kind of their inner life,
their inner dialogue.
and so those have been yet.
Illustrate even more succinctlythe sole child's theory.
Then the transformation point isthe direction of sustainable
(05:57):
growth.
So the term transformationconveys the metamorphosis that's
available to us when we accessthis aspect of ourselves.
And a little bit of my theory.
Is that.
The high side of thetransformation point.
Um, you'll see a lot of the samequalities that you'll actually
see.
If you look at the virtue ofyour type.
(06:19):
That's not something that'snecessarily in any gram Canon,
but it's kind of the way that Isee it.
And so I'll use my type as anexample again.
So for type three, Um, thetransformation point is type
nine.
And the virtue of three isveracity.
And at the high side of nine.
There is.
(06:40):
This sense of being really trueto yourself, um, and really
sticking by your morals and likehaving an innate sense of worth
and understanding of your trueworth.
And so I feel like there is anoverlap there of.
The virtue of the type and thehigh side of the transformation
point.
But even though we have, youknow, the recovery point, that
transformation point.
(07:01):
We can move both directions., inmultiple ways.
So when we're less conscious, wecan easily pick up the lower or
average aspects of either type.
And so when I say lessconscious, what I really mean is
when we're tired, when we'rejust drifting, when we haven't
been taking good care ofourselves, when we're just.
Stressed or overwhelmed or allthese different things.
(07:22):
Like when we're not reallypaying attention, um, we can
just drift to both of thosesides.
So right now, think about yourtype.
And think about both of thoseairlines and you might see some
aspects of the lower side.
Of both of the types.
In your life.
Okay.
So then the growth process hereis to build our ability to
intentionally access the higherside of both types.
(07:46):
So even though I alreadymentioned, you know, there,
there is kind of an order to it.
Like you work through therecovery point first and then
the transformation point.
I think it's possible for all ofus to access the higher side of
both of the types.
So in my new book, any Grimm inreal life.
Each.
Type.
Has instructions on how tobuild.
The high side of each of theirarrow types.
(08:08):
So there are a couple ofpractices that will kind of help
you integrate and help you buildthose more.
And I really liked that anglebecause I.
Love the idea of finding moreintegration and balance through
the Instagram overall.
So we're not just focused on ourown type, but also focus on our
connections as well.
And so I think that perspectiveis really helpful and important.
(08:28):
But for today.
What I want to share with you isa little snippet of each of the
types.
So I'm going to start with typeeight and I'm going to share a
little bit about the recoverypoint and what that could look
like.
And then the transformationpoint.
So for type eight.
The recovery point is type two.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside.
(08:50):
Of type two.
Could really look like beinginvasive and controlling,
especially around fixingeveryone else's life.
Like sometimes when eights arein this space.
They really think I know best,actually.
And if you don't listen to me,you're kind of an idiot.
And I have heard eight sayalmost exactly that.
But sometimes it's not thatovert.
(09:11):
And sometimes there is kind ofthat assumption of like, well,
they didn't do what I said, so.
They made their own bed.
And it can be this way of beingreally invasive and not
respecting the other person'sautonomy.
And so that's an unintentionaldrift to the lower side of type
two.
Now intentional movement to thehigher side of type two could
(09:31):
look like.
Offering themselves kindness andsupport now.
Eights.
Tend to have like a let's justconquer and push through this
attitude.
And that's their perspective ona lot of things.
And.
Healthy twos are able to supportthemselves and offer kindness
and offer compassion.
And so when eights access thathealthy aspect of type two,
(09:54):
they're able to not onlyacknowledge their own needs and
that they need love, they needto reach out and they need
community, but also offerthemselves that kindness and
support that they're missingwhen they are not accessing
this.
Hi side of their era movement.
The transformation point fortype eight is type five.
So unintentional drift to thelower side could look like.
(10:16):
Using all of the data thatthey're gathering and all of
their analysis to form reallycutting arguments and pushing
people away to avoid anyemotional connection.
The low side of five being like,Gaining all this information and
then using it to isolatethemselves from other people and
especially being a little bitdomineering in terms of, well,
I'm just smarter than you, or,you know, again, like you're
(10:36):
kind of an idiot.
Um, taking that perspective.
So that's the low side of five.
And then the high side of five,so intentional movement to the
higher side of five.
Could look like just pausingfirst to gather more information
before reacting and taking theirtime to say, Hmm.
I'm going to think about that,or I'm going to look through
that or I'm going to processthat and then coming back to it.
(10:58):
So really accessing that aspectof five And using it as a way to
not only pause and gatherthemselves mentally, but also
using it as a way to gauge theirown.
Abilities and what they can dophysically and not push
themselves way too hard.
Next we have type nine.
So the recovery point for typenine is type three.
(11:18):
So unintentional direct to thelower side of type three.
Could be using busy-ness todisconnect from themselves.
Now nines already have atendency to disconnect from
themselves and threes,especially do this when.
They really don't want to feeltheir feelings.
They don't really want to.
Get too in the weeds in terms ofintrospection.
And so they get really busy.
(11:39):
That's what?
Three suits.
They get busy.
And so nines can actually accessthat.
And I've seen it a lot of a wayof.
Narcotizing in a sense of wherethey're just being like, I'm
just going to get as busy aspossible and that will help me
cope.
So that's the low side of three.
And intentional movement to thehigher side of three.
Could look like applyingthemselves.
Toward their goals and feelinginspired by their own efforts.
(12:01):
And I love this for ninesbecause it's not only just
applying themselves, whichalready takes gargantuan effort
for nines.
But also being like, I'm doingthis for myself and I inspire
myself like taking on thatattitude and I think more threes
do that, especially socialthrees.
You see that a lot where they'relike, I'm inspired by my own
efforts.
And so I really want nines toaccess.
(12:23):
That aspect of three, because Ithink it's a really healthy
space for them.
Then the transformation pointfor tech nine is type six.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside could look like.
This frustration that no one islooking out for them.
So the frustration really comesfrom nines.
Having this underlying anger.
But then the frustration is thatno one is looking out for them
(12:46):
in the way that they want orneed.
And I think sometimes sixes,especially self pres.
Sixes, but other sixes as well,really feel like everyone is out
to get them.
And like the world is againstthem.
When they're in an unhealthyspace.
And so when I access that theyget really angry that just like
they're all alone and no one islooking out for them.
And they, they start to getreally resentful over that.
Intentional movement to thehigher side of type six.
(13:09):
Could look like.
Becoming alert and awareparticipants in their lives.
And what I mean by this is.
They.
Are no longer narcotizing orchecking out they're really
active in their lives andthey're making choices.
And there.
Having their own agency.
Now sixes can struggle withindecision, but when six is, are
a little bit healthier, Theytrust themselves more.
(13:31):
And.
They decide.
Okay, I'm going to takeresponsibility here and I'm
going to take agency here andI'm going to make a decisive
choice and that's what nines canaccess here.
So for type one, the recoverypoint is type seven.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside of type seven could be.
Escaping into stimulation andbehavior that they'll later
(13:52):
regret.
Such as overspending or excessof some sort.
And I see this the most.
When we talk about the trapdoorbehavior for once.
where one's.
Do something that they it'sactually morally and ethically
wrong to them, but they justcan't help themselves almost.
It's like, I've been so good forso long.
And I just have to let loose.
(14:13):
And I think that that'sactually, I'm indicative of the
low side of type seven.
Where they are really out ofcontrol and they just need
something stimulating.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side.
Of type seven could be leaninginto playfulness and letting go
of some of those inhibitionsthat often.
Are holding them and that theyreally rely upon.
(14:33):
For a sense of psychologicalsafety.
And recognizing that.
Playfulness can be part ofpsychological safety, too.
And I think that's reallyhealthy for ones to access.
and I always love.
seeing ones be more playful andfun because that's in there and
almost all ones that I know.
but they don't always let itout.
So I really like seeing thatside.
Of them.
Then the transformation pointfor type one is type four.
(14:54):
So unintentional drift to thelower side could have type four,
could be just moving beyond.
The I'm wrong.
I need to do better, which isoften the internal monologue of
a type one.
Two, there's something deeplyirredeemably wrong with me and
going into like thishopelessness or despair.
That's really common in thelower side of type four.
(15:14):
Intentional movement to thehigher side of type four.
Could look like just thinkingoutside the box and tapping more
into their creativity, andleaning on imperfection and
trusting the process.
Type fours are so good at beingmore creative.
They don't always have to becreative as in like artsy, but
just kind of thinking aboutthings differently and seeing
(15:35):
things from lots of differentangles for see a lot of nuance,
a lot of gray area.
And I think ones do really wellwhen they're able to access a
lot more of that and to reallydiscover and integrate that into
their daily perspective.
Okay.
Tied to.
So the recovery point for typetwo is tight for so
unintentional drift to the lowerside could look like.
(15:55):
Feeling or expressing that noone is taking care of me or my
needs, or really just ingeneral, becoming more moody and
pouty than they would typicallybe.
Um, obviously this is not howall type fours act, but the low
side of type four, that's veryevident.
And I think a lot of the timefor us can.
Have sort of this victimmentality of really wanting
other people to swoop in andsave them.
(16:17):
And so when twos access that,they still have their
emotionality from being a two aswell.
And so they might just say,nobody's taking care of me,
nobody's meeting my needs and,and feeling really upset about
that.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side of type four, could
be really making a lot of spacefor and acknowledging their
normal human needs.
(16:38):
Like the needs for love andattention and belonging and self
care.
Like fours are a lot moreintrospective than twos.
Typically are.
And so.
To sometimes have a really hardtime tapping into.
What they actually need.
And I think when they move tothat high side of four, they can
be a lot more aware of that andthey can actually work then to
meet those needs instead of kindof suppressing them and then
(16:59):
feeling really resentful.
and so it can be a really,really healthy space for twos to
be a lot more introspective andto look into themselves and say,
what is it that I really want orneed or dream of and asking
themselves those good questionsthat fours are often thinking
about.
Then the transformation pointfor type two is type eight.
And unintentional drift to thelower side could be.
(17:20):
Kind of the flip side of what wealready talked about for type
eights, it's becoming demandingand bossy and controlling.
The low side of eight and thelow side of two.
Both have this kind of demandingattitude.
So when a two is accessing thelow side of type eight, it's
like.
They become really assertiveabout what they want and need.
And a lot of it is propelled bythis energy of, of not having
(17:43):
their needs met for so long.
And they're like, I'veabsolutely had it.
Like you have to meet my needsnow.
And, that can be a really toughplace for them to be in, in
their relationships.
And then intentional movement tothe higher side of type eight.
Could look like.
Knowing what is there to do andwhat isn't so they can say no.
And.
They can say no to anything oranyone.
(18:04):
And they know that the worldwill go on.
And they don't always have to bethe one to step up.
And this is an incredible giftfor twos.
To really have this strength tosay, no, that's actually.
Not for me.
I don't have to be the one to dothat.
and it can be alarming actuallyfor people around them, but it's
really, really important for,to, to learn how to protect
themselves in this way.
And I think that the selfprotection that they get from
(18:26):
accessing their eight arrow canbe really healthy and a really
important.
Part of them leading morebalanced lives and setting
boundaries and things like that.
And I think that's something Iwant to note here as well.
Is that the arrows offer usresources that we don't
naturally access.
If we're only looking at our owntype.
but a lot of the time, and we'lltalk about this in a moment with
Type three as well.
(18:48):
A lot of the time we can learnreally important lessons and we
get specific wisdom from thearrows and we really need them
to be able to protect ourselvesand to move through the world
in.
A more integrated and balancedway.
So for type three, the recoverypoint is type six.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside.
Of type six.
Could look like becoming highlyanxious and insecure and
(19:09):
uncertain, and which reallyrenders them hesitant.
To take risks for fear offailure or letting their image
slip.
And this is a site of threesthat I don't think a lot of
threes allow other people tosee.
But when I talk to threes, theydo feel uncertain.
They do feel anxious and they dofeel insecure at times.
And that's a really importantthing to identify and to
(19:30):
discover and kind of explore.
for threes.
And so they can maybe start toknow, oh, this is like the lower
side of type six.
So intentional movement to thehigher side of type six could
be.
Asking themselves.
They're really good questions.
They've been avoiding and.
This is one of the things thatreally solidified this entire
(19:51):
theory for me, because what Irealized is that as a three, I
wanted to be able to access.
This calm and this Ability torest that I see a lot more in
nines.
But the work that I had to dofirst.
I was to ask myself thesequestions, like reevaluate my
expectations of myself.
And reevaluate where I expectedmy worth to come from.
(20:13):
So for example, instead ofalways saying yes, if somebody
asks me to do something, I woulddo what a six does more often
and say, does this make senseright now?
Am I doing this for myself or myimage?
Right?
Maybe six is, don't ask thatquestion, but they ask
themselves questions.
Is this aligned with what I wantto do moving forward.
Is this you in practical orfeasible?
Like, do I have capacity forthis?
(20:33):
Sixes are really good at askingthemselves those questions.
So I needed to use some ofthose.
To build more space in myschedule.
So that I could have more spacefor rest.
so that's one of the things thatI think is so important about
this.
So then the.
the transformation point fortype three is type nine.
So unintentional drift to thelower side of nine could look
(20:54):
like.
Zoning out, numbing everything,perhaps collapsing on the couch
and watching TV all weekend orbeing unable to get out of bed.
If you know, a three youclosely, like you have lived
with them, you may have seennine mode.
And it can be kind of alarming,I think.
But this is the lower side oftype nine where it's not just
(21:15):
respite.
That's restorative.
It's like And numbing out.
And so three's.
Co could do that.
Intentional movement to thehigher side of nine.
I could look like really slowingdown to intentionally rest,
which allows them to connectwith themselves and others.
And really not focusing so muchon, I have to earn my right to
(21:36):
exist in this world and justtaking for granted, like I
exist.
Like I'm here.
I exist.
and just having a little bitmore ease and.
Space just both for themselvesand for the people around them.
And I think that's a reallyimportant aspect.
Of type nine that threes need tointegrate.
But like I said, we have toreevaluate where worth comes
(21:59):
from first.
And that is what paves away forus to find this space.
All right.
Type four.
So the recovery point for typefour is type one.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside of type one could be.
Extreme black and whitethinking.
So one way that this plays outfor fours is if they feel even
(22:19):
slightly misunderstood,everything is like it's all for
not F just throw everything out.
why even try and really havingthat black and white kind of
perspective on that.
forest in general, find a lot ofnuance and I, and they look at a
lot of gray area, but whenthey're accessing the low side
of one, they can be really blackand white and really
perfectionistic about things.
(22:40):
And that can really trap thembecause it is one of those
things that sends them down thatcomparison spiral.
That is so bad for their mentalhealth.
And so I think it's reallyimportant for them.
To recognize when they'refloating to that low side of
one.
So then intentional movement tothe higher side of one.
Good look like becoming morepractical and structured and
(23:01):
focused.
And finding a way to lean ondiscipline and systems, which
ones are really, really good atones are good at discipline
systems and procedures.
And really accessing those andleveraging them to accomplish
their dreams because for us havethese big expansive dreams, but
sometimes they get caught ininaction and.
(23:23):
Connecting more with type onecan allow them to move more
quickly into action, which one'stypically.
have this way of, of notnecessarily always being quick
to action, but they do movesteadily toward action.
And I think that's somethingthat fours can really benefit
from.
And then the transformationpoint.
It's type two.
(23:43):
So unintentional drift to thelower side of type two could
look like shape-shifting toappease others and avoiding
conflict by sugarcoating orhiding what they feel or think.
Now.
Forrest don't typicallyshapeshift as much as the other
two heart types and they don'ttypically share coat as much as
(24:03):
the other two heart types.
But when they're accessing theslower side of type two, they
are feeling really insecure andthey're feeling really like.
Afraid of the rejection and theabandonment that might come.
And so they start being in thiswishy washy space and really
uncertain of themselves.
And so that state of mind can bereally hard on them and their
relationships.
And then intentional movement tothe higher side of type two can
(24:25):
be.
Really seeking to be of serviceand to support others.
And this is really healthy forfours, I think because,
sometimes when we think aboutfours, we think of Naval casing,
right?
So they're always looking downand they're looking inward.
and it's so helpful for, for usto be able to like look up and
look outward and look ateveryone else around them, not
(24:46):
in a comparative way, but tosay, how can I be of service and
that.
It's actually really, reallyhelpful for them.
And I've seen a lot of foursreally benefit from that because
it helps them be more balancedand be more engaged in the world
and feel less abandoned and feelless misunderstood because.
They're focused on helping otherpeople.
And so that's the high side oftype two that forest can access
(25:09):
their.
And you'll notice that typefours don't have any access.
from the arrows, they do havewing access, but no, Aero access
to the mental center.
And now we're going to talkabout fives who have.
Wing access to the heart center,but no.
Aero access.
So fives are a funny onebecause, Both of their arrows
(25:31):
are like get out of your head.
So the recovery point for typefive is type eight.
And unintentional drift to thelower side of type eight.
Could look like.
Becoming a little bit moreconfrontational and black and
white about arguments.
A lot of the time fives arepretty amenable to other people,
having a different perspective,as long as there's good data.
And then they say, Hey, can youshow me your sources?
(25:52):
And.
You know, I want to look intothat, but they sometimes will
use their feelings ofintellectual superiority to a
certain dominance over otherpeople when they're accessing
the low side of type eight.
and this further as theirisolation, it furthers the
concept of I'm the only personthat I can trust.
And that can be a really badspace for fives, and can make
(26:14):
them.
Prone to more conspiratorialthinking and fear of the outside
world.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side.
Of type eight could look likefeeling more grounded and
embodied.
And really being able to takeaction before they feel fully
ready.
And.
That is so helpful for fivesbecause it allows them to take
(26:35):
all these mental models out oftheir head and put them into
action in the real world.
and that's really useful.
Now you'll notice that some ofthe things that's sometimes
overdue.
Like here, we're talking abouteight.
Being really great at movinginto action.
Sometimes eight overdo that, butfives underdo that.
So we're trying to bring both ofthem into balance and that's
what the airlines help us to do.
(26:55):
Then the transformation pointfor type five is type seven.
So unintentional drift to thelower side of type seven.
Could look like finding,focusing, challenging, which can
interrupt effective action andclarity.
Now.
Five's really enjoy processingthings and feeling really steady
and feeling really even.
(27:17):
And that can be reallychallenging.
Um, if they are accessing theslower side of type seven,
because they can tend to feelmore frantic or more anxious.
And they have a much harder timejust sitting down and focusing
and processing through thethings that they want to think
about.
Um, and that ends up being areally, really stressful
experience for most fives.
Um, and they tend to not likeit, but they don't know what to
(27:37):
do about it.
So that is a good indicationthat they're in this.
Lower.
Seven space.
And then an intentional movementto the higher side.
Could look like.
Opening up a bit more about whothey truly are.
And what's beneath the surfaceand trusting that others truly
wants to get to know them.
So sevens tend to have thisenergy.
(27:58):
That they're kind of like.
Why wouldn't somebody want toget to know me?
Why wouldn't somebody want to bemy friend.
But fives tend to feel likemisfits and they feel a little
bit uncomfortable in the world.
Like the world just wasn't quiteright for them.
It's kind of like, they alwayscan sense.
Having like an itchy seam andtheir clothing or something like
(28:19):
that's how fives often feel justmoving through the world.
And so when they access thehigher side of type seven, they
can have a lot more abundance, alot more freedom, and they just
perceive things differentlybecause they have a lot of that.
Type seven exuberance andpositivity.
Now we have type six.
And.
(28:39):
The recovery point for type sixis type nine.
Unintentional drift to the lowerside of type nine.
Could look like seeing even moresides of every issue.
And then they become more stuckin indecision because they have
even more information.
Available to them, but lessmotivation to move forward.
While nines and sixes can bothbe really indecisive.
(29:02):
Sixes tend to be a little bitquicker to move into action,
then nines are.
And so when sixes are accessingthe low side of type nine, they
feel even more overwhelmed andmore overcome.
With feelings of I don't knowwhat to do.
I can't do this.
And that can kind of just be abad head space for them.
Now intentional movement to thehigh side of nine.
(29:22):
Could look like being able torelax and let things unfold.
Now, nines have this ability tojust say, let's just see how it
goes.
And sometimes it's likeoptimism, I guess.
And.
Maybe positivity, but it's not,not really.
That it's more so well, we don'tknow how it's going to happen,
or we don't know what's going tohappen because nines aren't
doing as much kind of projectingwhat is going to happen out in
(29:45):
the future.
They're like, this is what wehave in front of us now.
We'll just see how it goes.
And so when sixes can accessmore of that, They're able to
calm a lot of that franticenergy that they have moving in
their minds.
And integrate that more and be alittle bit more balanced and
feel a little better about whothey are being in the world.
Then the transformation pointfor type six is type three.
(30:08):
So unintentional drift to thelower side.
Could look like just for geneticactivity, more anxious.
And actually more anxious thanpurposeful.
So.
A lot of the time when sixestake action, they really think
it out and they make sure, okay,there's purpose behind what I'm
doing.
But when sixes are accessing thelow side of type three, they're
(30:30):
not thinking about all of that.
They're just doing, doing,doing, doing, doing.
They have to do something at alltimes.
And so it's really frenetic andit doesn't have a lot of
productivity or purpose in it.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side of type three.
Could look like.
Being able to step into directdecisive action and really have
(30:50):
it well prioritized and say,this is what we're going to do.
And we're going to move forward.
Six is sometimes have a reallyhard time making executive
decisions.
But threes are a lot morecomfortable with that.
So in six is access.
That aspect of threes.
They feel less indecisive, lesshelpful.
They don't doubt themselves orsecond guess themselves as much,
or look for reassurance.
(31:11):
They just have this level ofconfidence that can be really
healthy for them because it alsohelps them build.
Confidence.
Cause they have all thisevidence of like, look, I did it
and I'm doing it and I'm movingforward.
So there's also that optimismthat comes with it and they are
able to see success as aprobable outcome.
So they're not just seeing allthe possible ways everything
(31:32):
could fall apart, but alsosuccess is the most probable
outcome when they're accessinghigh side of type three.
And then last, but never leastwe have type seven.
Their recovery point is typefive.
So unintentional drift to thelower side of type five.
Could look like increasedanxiety about their freedom.
(31:52):
And this is kind of related, Ithink in some ways too.
The five fear of being intrudedupon, but like fives and sevens
both kind of believe no one elseis going to meet my needs.
I have to do that all on my own.
And so when sevens are accessingthe low side of five, they feel
really anxious about this.
they feel anxious at.
(32:14):
They're going to be trapped.
and they would really prefer tobe isolated versus being
intruded upon.
and so they are really.
Even more focused on beingself-sufficient and meeting
their own needs because theyreally don't feel comfortable in
the world as it is.
Intentional movement to thehigher side of five.
Could look like just choosing toadd.
(32:34):
Depth of knowledge, rather thanbreadth of knowledge.
So it's that concept we'resevens tend to have knowledge
that is a mile wide and an inchdeep.
and five, so the opposite.
So when sevens access the highside of five, they really build
these deep Wells of informationand expertise and knowledge that
(32:55):
they can draw upon and relyupon.
And so they're able to focustheir efforts on.
Going deep on a topic versushaving this wide breadth of all
this knowledge though.
The wide breadth of knowledge isgreat.
If you want to go to a trivianight, But sometimes when they
actually want to feel more solidand grounded in their career or
their expertise, it's actuallybetter to do it a little bit
more of the five way.
(33:16):
So we have to have a little bitof balance there.
And then finally thetransformation point of type
seven is type one.
So unintentional drift to thelower side of type one.
Could look like a lot offrustration and irritation.
And resentment, especially whenthings don't work out as
planned.
Now.
The fixation for type seven isplanning.
(33:36):
And.
Sevens, even if they're notletting you know all of this,
they're constantly planningthings.
And sketching things out intheir mind, like how they expect
things to go or how they wantthings to go.
Optimally and the lower side oftype one.
that becomes very rigid.
And so they have all thisfrustration.
They're irritated.
(33:57):
They're resentful that no oneelse is doing enough or doing
their part or people arebringing them down.
And they bring all of thatfrustrated, irritated energy to
the surface.
Frustration is an easier emotionfor a lot of sevens than other
emotions, because.
It kind of is one of thoseblankets it's like right there.
and it also feels less sticky.
(34:18):
So they're able to put it asideand move on.
and so the lower side of typeone, they have a lot of that
frustration and irritation.
and maybe even have an all ornothing mentality about it.
Then intentional movement to thehigher side of type one.
Could look like reallyrecognizing and appreciating.
That having some sort ofparameters and limitations can
(34:40):
be helpful.
rather than a hindrance, like itcan be something that they can
use to their advantage and drawupon.
I sometimes see seven strugglewith this, because they are,
they.
Like I know the sevens.
I get this.
Reputation for beingNoncommittal and.
Kind of flaky or, not finishinghouse projects or whatever else.
(35:02):
But I actually think it's notthat they're noncommittal.
It's more so that That theydon't want to acknowledge?
No, I actually can't do that.
Like I actually have to takethat off my plate.
there is something about certainprojects or certain activities
or whatever that seven to like.
I'm still working on that.
It's just like, not the firstthing I'm working on right now.
and so they kind of are likesaying yes to way too much.
(35:23):
And they have too many thingsthat they're like quasi
committed to, and that's wherethey get into trouble because
they come off as flaky, eventhough they're like, oh, I have
every intention of doing that.
And following through on it.
But it's just not the firstthing I'm doing right now.
and so when sevens access thehigh side of type one, they're a
little bit more able to be like,no, I'm actually not going to
(35:46):
finish.
Resurfacing the bathroom vanity,or actually I'm going to say no
to some of these work projectsthat I really wanted to do.
But it's actually not feasiblefor my team to do all of them.
And so we're going to narrow ourfocus.
So those can be some of thereally helpful aspects of the
high side of one who have a lotmore appreciation for
limitations and structure andsee them as a way to make things
(36:08):
sustainable and sevens canreally access that and find a
lot of freedom.
In saying no, and then reallynarrowing their focus.
So.
We made it through all ninetypes.
And if you want to read more onthis topic, the rest of this is
in my brand new book, any Graemeand real life, make sure you
order it.
there's just a few days left topre-order unless you're
(36:29):
listening to this after the28th, in which case.
You can get it just.
Find it in hardcover ebook oraudio book, wherever books are
sold.
but that's where all of thiscontent today came from.
It's part of what I wrote in mybook.
And I really hope that you pickup a copy if you want to learn
more about the arrows, becausethis is one of the things that I
think is really different fromsome of the other popular
(36:50):
Instagram texts.
And also, I think it's importantto know that this is actually
how a lot of Enneagram teachersare teaching the arrows now.
but some of the texts that werely upon.
Were written a long time ago.
And so.
People changed theirperspectives since they last
wrote a book about it.
So they might teach itdifferently.
(37:11):
Now, even though, you know,those gold standards.
Like wisdom of the Enneagram saysomething different.
I think it's fine that there aredifferences of opinion on how
the integration works in certainways.
But I also think it's importantto note that most Enneagram
teachers.
Who are really well established.
Our teaching the arrows moreclosely to this way.
(37:32):
at this juncture.
So.
Thanks so much for listening andI hope you learned something new
about your arrows or yourself.
and remember, these are justsome examples that I have today.
So there are a lot of other waysthat we can look at ourselves
and identify how the arrows are.
Influencing us in our everydaylives.
So I encourage you to keep thatexploration going and I hope to
(37:53):
meet you back here very soon.
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