January 17, 2025 • 18 mins
In this episode, you'll find a quick tour of my upcoming book, Enneagram in Real Life. Listen in for short descriptions of each section in the type chapters and tips on how to read and use the book. Each type chapter begins with a short story, revealing what it's like to be inside the life of that type. Today, you'll hear what it's like to be inside a type Six's brain as she's dealing with an emergency situation.
There's still time to preorder! If you are at all interested in the book, I would love it. If you would preorder. This is the single most helpful thing you can do to support authors like me because it lets publishers and retailers know that people are interested in the book. So if you want to support my work, OR you're just curious about the Enneagram, this is a fantastic way to delve into it.
PREORDER HERE: https://www.ninetypes.co/enneagram-in-real-life
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:07):
Welcome to Enneagram and reallife.
The podcast where we explore howto apply our Enneagram knowledge
in our daily lives.
I'm your host, Stephanie Barronhall and on today's episode.
I am going to give you a littlebit of a tour into my brand new
book.
You may have heard that my newbook Enneagram in real life is
coming out on January 28th.
(00:28):
So there are just a few daysleft to pre-order.
But before you do, I would loveto share a little bit about
what's inside the book.
Last week you heard the intro.
And today I wanted to share alittle bit about the content
that I've included for each ofthe types and why.
Like many Enneagram books.
It's not written that younecessarily have to read every
(00:49):
chapter in order.
Some people love doing that, butI also know that a lot of people
just flip straight to theirchapter.
So if that's you and that'stotally fine, if it is.
I want to share that the mostimportant chapter for you to
read first, that will kind ofgive you a lay of the land is
chapter two, which is called howthe system works.
So in this chapter, I break downall of the concepts that I will
(01:10):
cover later in the book.
So for example, while I coversubtypes in the individual type
chapters, And chapter two, I'mcovering the instinct.
So you understand what it lookslike when, a certain instinct is
dominant or repressed in generalversus what it looks like when
those instincts show up in thespecific types.
I also give some definitions forsome of the concepts you'll
(01:31):
explore later in the book.
So for example, the thresholdsconcept or the passion, that
depends mechanism, the virtue,those sorts of things that we
need to understand to really getthe Enneagram.
But the book would be twice aslong if I fully explain them in
each of the type chapters.
So in chapter two, your.
You kind of get a blueprint ofeverything that's to come for
(01:53):
all of the different pieces ofthe book, better in the tight
chapters.
So if you're the person whosays, okay, I'm just going to
flip right.
To type six.
Um, great.
That's totally fine.
But just make sure to readchapter two first.
So throughout this book, thecore emphasis is how to actually
apply these concepts.
For example, several of thetypes struggle with feeling
(02:15):
their feelings.
And so in each of thosechapters, I have various ways to
get more in touch with the heartcenter.
These are practices I've alreadyused in my own life or in my
coaching or in my courses.
And I've gotten feedback fromothers of the same type on how
they land.
So that's where I've kind ofgone through that process of
like really validating thingsAnd making sure that people get
(02:36):
value from them.
But there's no expectation thatyou'll do everything in your
types chapter.
And in fact, it's probably mosthelpful to start with one or two
manageable practices.
We're also different.
And so without getting to coachyou one-on-one, I can't really
work through which practice.
We'll be best for you as anindividual, even if it might be
something that people of yourtype have found helpful.
(02:59):
So, this is kind of a way toprovide you with various
resources that you can draw uponto walk through your growth
journey on your own.
So here's an overview of thetype chapters.
So each chapter starts with astory.
From somebody of that type.
With the exception of typeeight, which was a story that a
friend.
Actually told me on my podcastand I printed in the book with
(03:22):
her permission.
The rest of the stories camefrom these interviews that I did
with people of each subtype.
So when I was doing theseinterviews, um, and I did around
30 of them because sometimespeople would say, oh, I'm this
subtype.
And then we'd get into theinterview.
And it would be like, okay, wellmaybe, maybe that's not exactly
the most accurate type for you.
So we would revisit, so I endedup repeating some of the
(03:45):
subtypes.
But when I was doing thoseinterviews, I would.
Hear a story that I felt reallytypified an experience that I'd
heard from that type.
Some of them, like the storiesthat I share for type three and
type six are stories that Iheard from a specific person,
but I've heard over and over andover again over the years.
(04:06):
From other threes or othersixes.
And I really wanted to highlightthat.
I also really tried to highlightsome different aspects of the
types in these stories.
So, for example, the story fortype seven.
Is really connected.
To a different aspect of typeseven than what we normally talk
about.
The type seven is actually afriend of mine.
And I could tell all of theseincredible seven-ish stories,
(04:27):
but I really wanted to highlightthe more cerebral nature and
more problem solving nature ofsevens, because I think we hear
a lot about the fun andenthusiasm.
But we don't always hear howthat kind of positive thinking
translates into their work life.
And I wanted to show that sideof type seven.
In general, these stories aren'tnecessarily meant to say every
(04:48):
person of this type would reactthis exact way.
But to give you kind of a windowinto one person's life so that
you can really understand indetail.
What it sounds like to be insidetheir head.
So that was a really funprocess.
And all of these interviews, Iactually conducted via zoom,
which I learned later is maybeatypical for a lot of books.
I think a lot of books whenthey're getting this type of
(05:09):
content.
They give a written interviewbecause it allows people to
really put all of their quotesinto kind of concise phrasing.
But I loved the experience ofdoing them via zoom because.
One, it was fun to just talk topeople, but to.
It was really valuable to me.
To be able to unpack things Askfollow-up questions and really
(05:32):
get a sense of each of thedifferent subtypes.
You may have heard me talk aboutbefore, how I regularly do
typing interviews.
In my business, which is ninetypes go.
and I love those interviews andI have coaching clients and
stuff as well.
But because of theconfidentiality of those
relationships.
I don't add examples from typinginterviews and coaching sessions
(05:55):
in the book, even though I havelearned a lot of insights.
About each of the types fromthose experiences.
So the insights you'll see inthe book are from the subtype
interviews, podcasts interviews,I've done interactions I've had
online or on Instagram and thenworkshops and corporate team
events that I've done over theyears.
So that's a quick overview ofthe very opening of each
(06:17):
chapter, which is those storiesor those little vignettes.
The next section is called howthe type shows up and in this
section, I'm covering somebasics.
So I have motivation andavoidance.
Which are pretty standard in anygrand parlance, but I also have
a common misconception and someof the ways that they might've
felt or showed up in childhood,the childhood portion is not
(06:41):
meant to help you typenecessarily.
but there are common experiencesthat are through lines for each
of the types.
And so those are the ones that Ifocused on in that section.
Next we have the thresholdsconcept.
So if you're not familiar withthis.
This is a concept that I reallydeveloped through teaching and
through talking about theEnneagram.
(07:03):
So this came about because I wasworking with a team and.
I realized that they were havingsome conflict and some problems
because eights have a higherthreshold for what feels like
conflict than other people.
So you can imagine if something,some interaction occurs.
Below the aids conflictthreshold, but above somebody
(07:24):
else's conflict threshold.
The eight walks away thinking wejust had a great conversation
and the other person walks awaythinking.
Oh, we're in a fight and I thinkthat's so important and so
helpful to know.
Not only for eights to.
Notice that in themselves andmake sure they're checking in
with people or, or kind ofnotice when they're getting a
(07:46):
little bit heated, but for otherpeople to, to recognize, oh,
they're not mad at me and we candepersonalize this some, so
it's, it's a piece that.
Um, offers insight so that bothpeople can be a little bit more.
Accountable for their side ofthe interaction.
So for each type.
I have two high thresholds andtwo low thresholds.
(08:06):
And the concept is explainedthoroughly.
Like I mentioned earlier inchapter two.
Then we have the personalitystructure section in this
section.
I talked through.
The passion, the defensemechanism and the virtue.
There are other aspects of thetypes that I think fall under
the personality structure.
But these are the three that Ithink are most important for us
(08:27):
to know, especially when we'relike early to midway in our
Enneagram journey.
These are the ones that I thinkgive us the most insight into
the types.
And these are the pieces that Isee people misunderstanding.
The most, which blocks them fromreally accessing all the
Enneagram information and allthe benefit they could otherwise
gain from using the Enneagram.
(08:48):
So these pieces, I think, arekind of the underpinnings and
really give you a little bitmore insight into some of the
pieces we've already talkedabout.
Like, The motivation andavoidance.
these structural concepts kindof underpin those other
concepts.
And in this section, I alsoprovide some basic ways to start
recognizing your defensemechanism, your virtue and your
(09:10):
passion.
And I really wanted to make itconcrete for people.
So, instead of just saying, thisis what it is.
I also have a described, like,the passion of pride could look
like, and then there's someexamples or the virtue of
veracity could look like, andthere are some examples.
So it helps you to understandhow is this actually showing up
for me?
Now, these aren't all of theways that it might show up, but
(09:32):
they help you kind of explorethat a little bit more, get more
curious, be a little bit morecreative.
And understanding how that showsup in day-to-day life, because
the whole point here is for itto be applicable.
So then we have those piecesthat are.
You know, understanding how itis showing up and then some
other, you know, reflection,questions, or activities that
you can try.
(09:52):
To access more of the virtueinstead of only noticing the
passion.
So I want you to be able tonotice the passion, but I also
want you to be able to kind ofgrow and experience more of the
virtue.
Next we have subtypes.
And in the subtypes, I have asubtype description.
and then for each subtype,there's a specific growth
stretch.
That target some of the coreissues that each subtype
(10:13):
experiences.
Then we move into the arrows.
And I'm going to do a wholepodcast episode actually on the
arrows portion, because I thinkit's really important and
helpful, but I don't see it as.
Directly stress, arrow versusgrowth arrow.
I have a different approach toit.
And so I explained that both inchapter two and then in each of
the type chapters.
(10:34):
I know, find again, examples ofhow you might know, oh, I'm
accessing this arrow or I'maccessing this arrow and then
strategies how to intentionallybuild.
The higher or kind of healthierside of each of the airlines.
Then we have a communication andrelationships, how to relate
with each type, so for example,if we're talking about type
eight, It says how to relatewith an eight, but then it also
(10:56):
has how to.
Improve your own communicationskills as an eight.
Because again, I want this to befor you to use with your friends
or your family.
But also for you to use foryourself And to figure out some
of the communication patternsyou might've been.
Relying on that might not beserving you anymore.
And then finally the, the finalsection, which is actually maybe
(11:19):
the largest section in the wholechapter is called growth in real
life.
And.
A couple of examples of what'sincluded here.
Um, one is thought patterns thatmight be keeping you stuck.
And these are actually based onthe fixation.
So if you're familiar with theEnneagram personality structure,
You're familiar with thefixations.
I didn't include them earlier inthe personality structure.
(11:41):
section, but the thoughtpatterns that I'm listing here
are loosely based on thefixations.
And that's because While thepassion of each type comes from
the emotional center.
The fixations come from themental center.
And so that's why, Both areincluded, but in different
spaces, And then finallyeveryday practices.
And these are anything from howto feel your feelings too.
(12:03):
Experimenting with.
Inviting somebody along with youto do something you enjoy.
All sorts of different types ofthings that are relevant for the
types that you can try.
And they're not going to be.
Exactly right for everyone, butmaybe they'll give you some
ideas on how to apply thosethings in your daily life.
So.
That's an overview of thechapters.
(12:24):
And.
The feedback that I've heard isthat people feel like it's
really applicable.
which is my goal because Ireally want people to be able to
take this and they'd be like,oh, I know what to do with this
information now.
Um, and that's a question I'vealways heard and that's
something I wanted to answerwith this book.
So to wrap up this little tourof Enneagram in real life.
(12:45):
I wanted to share one of thestories from one of the types.
So, as you can imagine, I heardso many fantastic stories and it
was actually difficult To narrowdown, which one could end up in
the book.
Because initially when I startedthe writing process, I intended
to include tons of these quotesand little snippets and
vignettes and all of thosedifferent things.
But over the process of writingthe book, I had a few different
(13:08):
editors, um, who were attachedto the project at different
points.
And so some of these storiessadly got left on the cutting
room floor.
If you will.
So I want to read you one of myfavorites.
Which is a firm type sex andthis one didn't end up in the
book, but I still think it's agreat story and really.
Recognizable for a lot of sixesand gives you a little bit of
(13:30):
insight into this six, who is aself preservation, six.
And thank you so much to Audreyfor this fantastic window into
what it looks like to be in anygrim six.
As an Enneagram six, Audreyloves the field prepared.
Unfortunately.
That sense of preparation isoften accompanied by an endless
(13:52):
mental loop of thoughts andideas and concepts, each begging
for exploration.
Continual rethinking is intendedto placate her busy mind.
Though it more often solidifiesuncertainty and shakiness.
But crisis calms the mind in away.
Nothing else can.
Audrey's cat gets intoeverything.
(14:14):
He constantly needs mentalstimulation and he looks for
sensory and put wherever he canfind it.
A particular favorite of his,which is crunching on bits of
plastic.
Seem innocuous until one morninghe threw up his breakfast and
later refused dinner.
Audrey immediately knew what hadprobably happened.
Noted his symptoms and startedto plan.
(14:35):
As her boyfriend and co catparent fell apart.
Audrey formulated a decisiontree.
She gathered all informationpossible.
What the cat ingested, howurgent the situation was, time
of symptom onset.
What time the vet opened, etcetera.
She also took inventory of theirbusy schedules, the following
day and noted which meetingswere least urgent and could be
(14:57):
shifted.
All the information went intoher decision tree.
And she predicted where newinformation would come into
play.
Decision points and places toreevaluate the plan.
Based on what the vet said ateach step.
She mapped out exactly how theyapproach the next eventuality in
general.
Audrey is not an overtlyassertive person.
(15:20):
She prefers to work behind thescenes and she likes taking care
of things.
But emergency situation.
Audrey has no problem beingdirective.
She's prepared and competent andmore than willing to call the
shots based on her careful plan.
Monday morning came and Audreyexecuted her plan as expected.
Audrey and her boyfriend,re-evaluated the plan at each
(15:41):
decision point.
And thanks two months of carefulbudgeting on their double PhD
student income.
They already had the money setaside to fund emergency surgery.
As Audrey retells the storytoday, she conveys calm
confidence and recalls howsoothing it felt to sketch out
versions of events.
That could unfold and how shedeal with each situation.
(16:03):
After her cat surgery.
She kept the plastic piece.
They distracted both asrecognition of her fortitude
throughout the terrifyingordeal.
And as a reminder, not to leaveingestible plastic bits,
unattended.
So that's just one example ofthe stories that open each
chapter.
And I love this one because itconveys how when called upon a
(16:24):
lot of sixes.
Really drill down and theythink, okay, I know how to
handle this.
This is what I've been preparingfor because everything's six is
do is.
There to mitigate, experiencingfear.
They don't want to feel afraid.
And so they do everything theypossibly can.
To avoid feeling afraid.
So a lot of sixes we'll do thismental modeling piece and they,
they map out things in theirminds.
(16:46):
But a lot of sixes also say thatif they can get something out of
their mind and put it on paper,whether that's on a Google doc
or just.
You know, on a scratch paper infront of them, if they can map
all those things out, they feela lot calmer.
Feeling what the situation,plus, what I think is really
impressive is being able topredict.
At what points they will getinformation or they'll need to
(17:08):
make decisions.
They already know in advancewhen those things are coming.
And I think that's really cooland really interesting and not a
skill that everyone shares.
So that is a quick overview of asix and you can read all the
stories or listen to them.
when you grabbed my book, whichis called Enneagram in real
life, if you're at allinterested in the book.
(17:29):
Please pre-order it really helpsme as an author, but also you'll
already have the book in frontof you.
If you'd like to attend our.
Virtual book event, which iscoming on January 30th.
So stay tuned for that.
I'll be sharing more informationvery soon, both on Instagram
here and via email.
And I think you'll get the mostout of it.
If you already have your bookwith you.
(17:50):
So.
Pre-order now wherever books aresold or ask your library to
stock it.
If you are a library person likeme, and as always feel free to
shoot me a DM on Instagram.
If you have questions about thebook or if there's a certain
topic from the book that youwant to hear more about and stay
tuned for next week, because Ihave a classic podcast interview
coming for you.
(18:11):
And I'll be sharing a little bitmore about the arrow section.
Thanks again for listening andI'll find you back here very
soon.
Welcome to Enneagram and reallife.
The podcast where we explore howto apply our Enneagram knowledge
in our daily lives.
I'm your host, Stephanie Barronhall and on today's episode.
I am going to give you a littlebit of a tour into my brand new
book.
You may have heard that my newbook Enneagram in real life is
coming out on January 28th.
(00:28):
So there are just a few daysleft to pre-order.
But before you do, I would loveto share a little bit about
what's inside the book.
Last week you heard the intro.
And today I wanted to share alittle bit about the content
that I've included for each ofthe types and why.
Like many Enneagram books.
It's not written that younecessarily have to read every
(00:49):
chapter in order.
Some people love doing that, butI also know that a lot of people
just flip straight to theirchapter.
So if that's you and that'stotally fine, if it is.
I want to share that the mostimportant chapter for you to
read first, that will kind ofgive you a lay of the land is
chapter two, which is called howthe system works.
So in this chapter, I break downall of the concepts that I will
(01:10):
cover later in the book.
So for example, while I coversubtypes in the individual type
chapters, And chapter two, I'mcovering the instinct.
So you understand what it lookslike when, a certain instinct is
dominant or repressed in generalversus what it looks like when
those instincts show up in thespecific types.
I also give some definitions forsome of the concepts you'll
(01:31):
explore later in the book.
So for example, the thresholdsconcept or the passion, that
depends mechanism, the virtue,those sorts of things that we
need to understand to really getthe Enneagram.
But the book would be twice aslong if I fully explain them in
each of the type chapters.
So in chapter two, your.
You kind of get a blueprint ofeverything that's to come for
(01:53):
all of the different pieces ofthe book, better in the tight
chapters.
So if you're the person whosays, okay, I'm just going to
flip right.
To type six.
Um, great.
That's totally fine.
But just make sure to readchapter two first.
So throughout this book, thecore emphasis is how to actually
apply these concepts.
For example, several of thetypes struggle with feeling
(02:15):
their feelings.
And so in each of thosechapters, I have various ways to
get more in touch with the heartcenter.
These are practices I've alreadyused in my own life or in my
coaching or in my courses.
And I've gotten feedback fromothers of the same type on how
they land.
So that's where I've kind ofgone through that process of
like really validating thingsAnd making sure that people get
(02:36):
value from them.
But there's no expectation thatyou'll do everything in your
types chapter.
And in fact, it's probably mosthelpful to start with one or two
manageable practices.
We're also different.
And so without getting to coachyou one-on-one, I can't really
work through which practice.
We'll be best for you as anindividual, even if it might be
something that people of yourtype have found helpful.
(02:59):
So, this is kind of a way toprovide you with various
resources that you can draw uponto walk through your growth
journey on your own.
So here's an overview of thetype chapters.
So each chapter starts with astory.
From somebody of that type.
With the exception of typeeight, which was a story that a
friend.
Actually told me on my podcastand I printed in the book with
(03:22):
her permission.
The rest of the stories camefrom these interviews that I did
with people of each subtype.
So when I was doing theseinterviews, um, and I did around
30 of them because sometimespeople would say, oh, I'm this
subtype.
And then we'd get into theinterview.
And it would be like, okay, wellmaybe, maybe that's not exactly
the most accurate type for you.
So we would revisit, so I endedup repeating some of the
(03:45):
subtypes.
But when I was doing thoseinterviews, I would.
Hear a story that I felt reallytypified an experience that I'd
heard from that type.
Some of them, like the storiesthat I share for type three and
type six are stories that Iheard from a specific person,
but I've heard over and over andover again over the years.
(04:06):
From other threes or othersixes.
And I really wanted to highlightthat.
I also really tried to highlightsome different aspects of the
types in these stories.
So, for example, the story fortype seven.
Is really connected.
To a different aspect of typeseven than what we normally talk
about.
The type seven is actually afriend of mine.
And I could tell all of theseincredible seven-ish stories,
(04:27):
but I really wanted to highlightthe more cerebral nature and
more problem solving nature ofsevens, because I think we hear
a lot about the fun andenthusiasm.
But we don't always hear howthat kind of positive thinking
translates into their work life.
And I wanted to show that sideof type seven.
In general, these stories aren'tnecessarily meant to say every
(04:48):
person of this type would reactthis exact way.
But to give you kind of a windowinto one person's life so that
you can really understand indetail.
What it sounds like to be insidetheir head.
So that was a really funprocess.
And all of these interviews, Iactually conducted via zoom,
which I learned later is maybeatypical for a lot of books.
I think a lot of books whenthey're getting this type of
(05:09):
content.
They give a written interviewbecause it allows people to
really put all of their quotesinto kind of concise phrasing.
But I loved the experience ofdoing them via zoom because.
One, it was fun to just talk topeople, but to.
It was really valuable to me.
To be able to unpack things Askfollow-up questions and really
(05:32):
get a sense of each of thedifferent subtypes.
You may have heard me talk aboutbefore, how I regularly do
typing interviews.
In my business, which is ninetypes go.
and I love those interviews andI have coaching clients and
stuff as well.
But because of theconfidentiality of those
relationships.
I don't add examples from typinginterviews and coaching sessions
(05:55):
in the book, even though I havelearned a lot of insights.
About each of the types fromthose experiences.
So the insights you'll see inthe book are from the subtype
interviews, podcasts interviews,I've done interactions I've had
online or on Instagram and thenworkshops and corporate team
events that I've done over theyears.
So that's a quick overview ofthe very opening of each
(06:17):
chapter, which is those storiesor those little vignettes.
The next section is called howthe type shows up and in this
section, I'm covering somebasics.
So I have motivation andavoidance.
Which are pretty standard in anygrand parlance, but I also have
a common misconception and someof the ways that they might've
felt or showed up in childhood,the childhood portion is not
(06:41):
meant to help you typenecessarily.
but there are common experiencesthat are through lines for each
of the types.
And so those are the ones that Ifocused on in that section.
Next we have the thresholdsconcept.
So if you're not familiar withthis.
This is a concept that I reallydeveloped through teaching and
through talking about theEnneagram.
(07:03):
So this came about because I wasworking with a team and.
I realized that they were havingsome conflict and some problems
because eights have a higherthreshold for what feels like
conflict than other people.
So you can imagine if something,some interaction occurs.
Below the aids conflictthreshold, but above somebody
(07:24):
else's conflict threshold.
The eight walks away thinking wejust had a great conversation
and the other person walks awaythinking.
Oh, we're in a fight and I thinkthat's so important and so
helpful to know.
Not only for eights to.
Notice that in themselves andmake sure they're checking in
with people or, or kind ofnotice when they're getting a
(07:46):
little bit heated, but for otherpeople to, to recognize, oh,
they're not mad at me and we candepersonalize this some, so
it's, it's a piece that.
Um, offers insight so that bothpeople can be a little bit more.
Accountable for their side ofthe interaction.
So for each type.
I have two high thresholds andtwo low thresholds.
(08:06):
And the concept is explainedthoroughly.
Like I mentioned earlier inchapter two.
Then we have the personalitystructure section in this
section.
I talked through.
The passion, the defensemechanism and the virtue.
There are other aspects of thetypes that I think fall under
the personality structure.
But these are the three that Ithink are most important for us
(08:27):
to know, especially when we'relike early to midway in our
Enneagram journey.
These are the ones that I thinkgive us the most insight into
the types.
And these are the pieces that Isee people misunderstanding.
The most, which blocks them fromreally accessing all the
Enneagram information and allthe benefit they could otherwise
gain from using the Enneagram.
(08:48):
So these pieces, I think, arekind of the underpinnings and
really give you a little bitmore insight into some of the
pieces we've already talkedabout.
Like, The motivation andavoidance.
these structural concepts kindof underpin those other
concepts.
And in this section, I alsoprovide some basic ways to start
recognizing your defensemechanism, your virtue and your
(09:10):
passion.
And I really wanted to make itconcrete for people.
So, instead of just saying, thisis what it is.
I also have a described, like,the passion of pride could look
like, and then there's someexamples or the virtue of
veracity could look like, andthere are some examples.
So it helps you to understandhow is this actually showing up
for me?
Now, these aren't all of theways that it might show up, but
(09:32):
they help you kind of explorethat a little bit more, get more
curious, be a little bit morecreative.
And understanding how that showsup in day-to-day life, because
the whole point here is for itto be applicable.
So then we have those piecesthat are.
You know, understanding how itis showing up and then some
other, you know, reflection,questions, or activities that
you can try.
(09:52):
To access more of the virtueinstead of only noticing the
passion.
So I want you to be able tonotice the passion, but I also
want you to be able to kind ofgrow and experience more of the
virtue.
Next we have subtypes.
And in the subtypes, I have asubtype description.
and then for each subtype,there's a specific growth
stretch.
That target some of the coreissues that each subtype
(10:13):
experiences.
Then we move into the arrows.
And I'm going to do a wholepodcast episode actually on the
arrows portion, because I thinkit's really important and
helpful, but I don't see it as.
Directly stress, arrow versusgrowth arrow.
I have a different approach toit.
And so I explained that both inchapter two and then in each of
the type chapters.
(10:34):
I know, find again, examples ofhow you might know, oh, I'm
accessing this arrow or I'maccessing this arrow and then
strategies how to intentionallybuild.
The higher or kind of healthierside of each of the airlines.
Then we have a communication andrelationships, how to relate
with each type, so for example,if we're talking about type
eight, It says how to relatewith an eight, but then it also
(10:56):
has how to.
Improve your own communicationskills as an eight.
Because again, I want this to befor you to use with your friends
or your family.
But also for you to use foryourself And to figure out some
of the communication patternsyou might've been.
Relying on that might not beserving you anymore.
And then finally the, the finalsection, which is actually maybe
(11:19):
the largest section in the wholechapter is called growth in real
life.
And.
A couple of examples of what'sincluded here.
Um, one is thought patterns thatmight be keeping you stuck.
And these are actually based onthe fixation.
So if you're familiar with theEnneagram personality structure,
You're familiar with thefixations.
I didn't include them earlier inthe personality structure.
(11:41):
section, but the thoughtpatterns that I'm listing here
are loosely based on thefixations.
And that's because While thepassion of each type comes from
the emotional center.
The fixations come from themental center.
And so that's why, Both areincluded, but in different
spaces, And then finallyeveryday practices.
And these are anything from howto feel your feelings too.
(12:03):
Experimenting with.
Inviting somebody along with youto do something you enjoy.
All sorts of different types ofthings that are relevant for the
types that you can try.
And they're not going to be.
Exactly right for everyone, butmaybe they'll give you some
ideas on how to apply thosethings in your daily life.
So.
That's an overview of thechapters.
(12:24):
And.
The feedback that I've heard isthat people feel like it's
really applicable.
which is my goal because Ireally want people to be able to
take this and they'd be like,oh, I know what to do with this
information now.
Um, and that's a question I'vealways heard and that's
something I wanted to answerwith this book.
So to wrap up this little tourof Enneagram in real life.
(12:45):
I wanted to share one of thestories from one of the types.
So, as you can imagine, I heardso many fantastic stories and it
was actually difficult To narrowdown, which one could end up in
the book.
Because initially when I startedthe writing process, I intended
to include tons of these quotesand little snippets and
vignettes and all of thosedifferent things.
But over the process of writingthe book, I had a few different
(13:08):
editors, um, who were attachedto the project at different
points.
And so some of these storiessadly got left on the cutting
room floor.
If you will.
So I want to read you one of myfavorites.
Which is a firm type sex andthis one didn't end up in the
book, but I still think it's agreat story and really.
Recognizable for a lot of sixesand gives you a little bit of
(13:30):
insight into this six, who is aself preservation, six.
And thank you so much to Audreyfor this fantastic window into
what it looks like to be in anygrim six.
As an Enneagram six, Audreyloves the field prepared.
Unfortunately.
That sense of preparation isoften accompanied by an endless
(13:52):
mental loop of thoughts andideas and concepts, each begging
for exploration.
Continual rethinking is intendedto placate her busy mind.
Though it more often solidifiesuncertainty and shakiness.
But crisis calms the mind in away.
Nothing else can.
Audrey's cat gets intoeverything.
(14:14):
He constantly needs mentalstimulation and he looks for
sensory and put wherever he canfind it.
A particular favorite of his,which is crunching on bits of
plastic.
Seem innocuous until one morninghe threw up his breakfast and
later refused dinner.
Audrey immediately knew what hadprobably happened.
Noted his symptoms and startedto plan.
(14:35):
As her boyfriend and co catparent fell apart.
Audrey formulated a decisiontree.
She gathered all informationpossible.
What the cat ingested, howurgent the situation was, time
of symptom onset.
What time the vet opened, etcetera.
She also took inventory of theirbusy schedules, the following
day and noted which meetingswere least urgent and could be
(14:57):
shifted.
All the information went intoher decision tree.
And she predicted where newinformation would come into
play.
Decision points and places toreevaluate the plan.
Based on what the vet said ateach step.
She mapped out exactly how theyapproach the next eventuality in
general.
Audrey is not an overtlyassertive person.
(15:20):
She prefers to work behind thescenes and she likes taking care
of things.
But emergency situation.
Audrey has no problem beingdirective.
She's prepared and competent andmore than willing to call the
shots based on her careful plan.
Monday morning came and Audreyexecuted her plan as expected.
Audrey and her boyfriend,re-evaluated the plan at each
(15:41):
decision point.
And thanks two months of carefulbudgeting on their double PhD
student income.
They already had the money setaside to fund emergency surgery.
As Audrey retells the storytoday, she conveys calm
confidence and recalls howsoothing it felt to sketch out
versions of events.
That could unfold and how shedeal with each situation.
(16:03):
After her cat surgery.
She kept the plastic piece.
They distracted both asrecognition of her fortitude
throughout the terrifyingordeal.
And as a reminder, not to leaveingestible plastic bits,
unattended.
So that's just one example ofthe stories that open each
chapter.
And I love this one because itconveys how when called upon a
(16:24):
lot of sixes.
Really drill down and theythink, okay, I know how to
handle this.
This is what I've been preparingfor because everything's six is
do is.
There to mitigate, experiencingfear.
They don't want to feel afraid.
And so they do everything theypossibly can.
To avoid feeling afraid.
So a lot of sixes we'll do thismental modeling piece and they,
they map out things in theirminds.
(16:46):
But a lot of sixes also say thatif they can get something out of
their mind and put it on paper,whether that's on a Google doc
or just.
You know, on a scratch paper infront of them, if they can map
all those things out, they feela lot calmer.
Feeling what the situation,plus, what I think is really
impressive is being able topredict.
At what points they will getinformation or they'll need to
(17:08):
make decisions.
They already know in advancewhen those things are coming.
And I think that's really cooland really interesting and not a
skill that everyone shares.
So that is a quick overview of asix and you can read all the
stories or listen to them.
when you grabbed my book, whichis called Enneagram in real
life, if you're at allinterested in the book.
(17:29):
Please pre-order it really helpsme as an author, but also you'll
already have the book in frontof you.
If you'd like to attend our.
Virtual book event, which iscoming on January 30th.
So stay tuned for that.
I'll be sharing more informationvery soon, both on Instagram
here and via email.
And I think you'll get the mostout of it.
If you already have your bookwith you.
(17:50):
So.
Pre-order now wherever books aresold or ask your library to
stock it.
If you are a library person likeme, and as always feel free to
shoot me a DM on Instagram.
If you have questions about thebook or if there's a certain
topic from the book that youwant to hear more about and stay
tuned for next week, because Ihave a classic podcast interview
coming for you.
(18:11):
And I'll be sharing a little bitmore about the arrow section.
Thanks again for listening andI'll find you back here very
soon.
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