July 10, 2024 • 40 mins
In this episode, we dive into the topic of leadership. I explore what it means to be a leader, sharing personal stories and experiences. Discover the 13 rules of leadership and learn how you can apply them to your life to become a powerful and effective leader. Whether you're leading a team, a family, or your own life, these insights will inspire and guide you on your leadership journey.
0:00 - Introduction to Leadership
2:19 - Defining Leadership: Taking Charge in Chaos
3:26 - High School Basketball: Early Lessons in Leadership
5:15 - Control What You Can: Focus on Effort
6:56 - High Pressure Situations: Developing Confidence
8:18 - Demotion to JV: Building Self-Belief
9:24 - The Need for Strong Leaders Today
10:56 - Rule #1: Great Leaders Are Built, Not Born
13:12 - Rule #2: Lead Yourself First
15:17 - Rule #3: Serve Others
17:06 - Rule #4: Lead by Example
18:17 - Rule #5: Inspire Action
19:56 - Rule #6: Create Other Leaders
21:04 - Rule #7: Effective Communication
22:51 - Rule #8: Problem Solving and Decision Making
25:30 - Rule #9: Bring Certainty to Uncertain Situations
28:54 - Rule #10: Live by a Code
30:18 - Rule #11: Take Radical Responsibility
31:50 - Rule #12: Anticipate the Road Ahead
33:08 - Rule #13: Develop Self-Awareness
35:23 - Applying Leadership Rules to Your Life
36:46 - The Costs of Leadership
39:51 - Final Thoughts and Call to Action
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think if you want to be a really great leader in
life, I would highly recommendyou start to look at how you can
apply these rules into yourlife.
I think every rule here is veryprescriptive and if you start
to look at any one of them andyou start to develop that
attribute because at every rulethat I just laid out to you,
(00:21):
there's a character trait thatis associated with that and if
you can start to develop thosecharacter traits, you will
become a very powerful leader,the type of leader that people
look to.
I'm a man on a mission.
(00:43):
I don't need no permission.
I'm a man on a mission.
Welcome to, entitled to Nothing,where we believe our life is
our fault.
My name is Mink and I've spentthe last 20 years of my life
running headfirst into failureafter failure life running
(01:06):
headfirst into failure afterfailure and I've learned how to
turn my failures into lessons,and I've used those lessons to
create life on my terms.
I went from broke and bankruptwith six figures in debt to
starting multiple companies thathave generated over $50 million
in sales, and I want to shareeverything I've learned on my
journey to help inspire you onyours.
So today I want to talk to youguys about leadership, and
(01:28):
leadership is an interestingtopic because there is so many
different thoughts andperspectives and books on it.
I went to Amazon and I did asearch for leadership and
there's over 57,000 books and Ithink everybody has their idea
of what leadership is.
And I think, now more than ever, we're at a time in history
where we need really strongleaders to stand up and lead.
(01:53):
And, if I'm honest with youguys, that's one of the reasons
why I felt compared, compared,compelled to start this podcast,
because one of my mentors saidyou are the leader that you've
been waiting for.
One of my mentors said you arethe leader that you've been
waiting for.
If not you who?
And I feel like I want to diveinto this topic of leadership
today.
I want to talk about what it isand why it's important and when
(02:16):
I think about leadership andwhat is it like.
What makes a leader a leader Tome?
I could summarize it like thisit's someone who steps into a
situation where chaos anduncertainty and problems are
around and he says move out ofthe way, I will handle it.
And then he says if you want togo this way, follow me.
(02:38):
I know what to do.
I know how to solve this, Iknow what we got to make happen.
And he leads.
It's someone who is willing toaccept the pressure.
It's someone who's willing tostep into uncertainty, someone
who doesn't have all the answers, someone who will fail, someone
(02:58):
who will stumble, butultimately someone who will
always stand up and keep movingforward.
And I think you know, a leaderis someone who sets the
standards in their life andcalls other people up to raise
their standards.
It's someone who's a teacher,someone who leads by example but
(03:20):
also tries to encourage andinspire those around them to
become better.
And I think you know the firsttime in my life when I really
experienced what leadership waswas in high school basketball.
I had this amazing coach, coachRison, and when I look back on
it now, there were so manythings that he did throughout my
(03:40):
career as a basketball playerthat really taught me leadership
.
He did the whole Mr Miyagithing on me wax on, wax off,
more than I can count.
And I remember when I was asophomore, I was trying out for
varsity.
I made the varsity team andevery day I was going into his
office.
I'm like, hey, coach, how am Idoing?
(04:01):
How's my game.
What do I need to improve?
What do I got to do here?
What do I got to do here?
And ultimately he asked me likeMink, what's your goal?
And I said first I want to makevarsity.
And then, once I made varsity,he's like okay, now what's your
goal?
I was like I want to be a.
(04:21):
What do I got to do here?
What do I got to do here?
How am I doing?
How am I progressing?
I was pestering the shit out ofthis guy and then one day he
just looked at me and he goesMink, do you control whether or
not you start?
And I was like, well, no, coach.
He's like what do you control?
Well, how hard I play coach,then just do that.
(04:44):
Well, how hard I play coach,then just do that.
Just go out and focus on howhard you play, how hard you
practice, focus on gettingbetter, every drill and every
day, and ultimately, the rest ofeverything will take care of
itself.
And I look back on that thenand I was like I've applied that
principle to my life forever.
You know, it's like I don'tcontrol anything outside of me,
(05:05):
right?
Oftentimes, that's what,entitled to nothing, and your
life is your fault is all about.
It's this idea that we don'tcontrol anything outside of us.
All we control is what's insideof us.
You know, there's anotherexperience where, a couple of
years later, when I was a senior, we were doing tryouts and
coach would always do this drillwhere we would have to shoot
(05:26):
free throws and however manyfree throws we shot and missed,
we had to run a suicide, forwhich is like a down and back
down and back down and back downand back Right.
And he let everybody on theteam go before me and we missed
something like 20 shots, and sowe're going to have to run 20
fucking suicides, which, ifyou've ever ran one, you know
(05:48):
how miserable they can be,especially 20 back to back to
back.
So he calls me up at the endand he says Mink, here's the
deal as many as you make in arow, that will deduct how many
we have to run.
So if you make, make in a row,that will deduct how many we
have to run.
So if you make 10 in a row,then you guys have to run 20
(06:11):
right now.
Then I'll remove 10 from thething and you'll only have to
run 10.
I was like, wait a minute.
So if I make 20 in a row, wedon't have to run.
He goes exactly and everybodyon the team is on the baseline
and they're all watching me andI stepped to the free throw line
and I make 21 in a row.
He made me make 21.
And afterwards he pulled measide and he's like Mink, what
(06:31):
the fuck are you doing?
We're supposed to run and I'mlike I'm not going to miss if
you put me in a position where,like it's me in front of the
entire team, like I'm not justintentionally going to miss.
He A never did that again and Bhe put in a rule he called it
the mink rule and it was if Iever made two shots or more in a
(06:52):
row, I had to run.
So that didn't work too wellfor me.
But the moral of the story iswhen I reflect back on that
situation.
He was putting me in highpressure, high stress situations
.
He was challenging me to stepup and to lead.
He was teaching me how tobecome a leader.
You know, and one of probablythe biggest lessons I learned
(07:14):
from him was between my it wasin the summer of my sophomore
year and we were at this bigtournament and I had played a
couple of really bad games in arow Just wasn't in my groove.
And he demoted me to the JVteam for one game and I was so
fucking pissed, I was furiousand I fucking destroyed the
(07:39):
other team, that game.
And I say that like with all oflike, no shame, like I fucking
destroyed them.
And I say that like with all ofLike, no shame, like I fucking
destroyed them.
And I was pissed.
And after the game he pulled measide and he's like you know, a
couple of the other coaches aresaying You're probably the best
shooter in the In thetournament.
And and I was like, yeah, whydid I get demoted then?
(08:01):
And he's like because I neededyou to realize that you were the
best shooter in the tournament.
He demoted me because I waslacking confidence and he knew
that by putting me in thatsituation it would piss me the
fuck off and it would challengeme to step up.
And in hindsight I just I'velooked back on my life and I've
(08:21):
had the opportunity toexperience so many leaders, both
directly and indirectly.
Most of my leaders are in booksand courses and people that
I've never met before.
There are people that I'vewatched on YouTube and on Zoom
and never actually had theopportunity to shake their hand.
And today, what I want to do isI want to share with you 13
rules of leadership that I'velearned, because I really
(08:44):
believe that we live in a timein history where we need strong
leaders now more than ever.
There's a quote that you hearjumping around the internet, and
it says strong leaders creategood times.
Good times create weak leaders.
Weak leaders create bad timesand bad times create strong
(09:07):
leaders.
And unfortunately, I thinkwe've lived in very good times
that have created weak leaders,and we have a lot of challenges,
a lot of struggles, a lot offuckery in the world today, and
it's because we have a lot ofweak leaders.
And my challenge to you, myrequest of you, is that you
(09:30):
start to learn how to become apowerful leader, and it starts
with us.
It starts by understanding thatleadership starts at the
individual level first, and I'mgoing to talk about that in the
rules once we dive into them.
But I was at a speech withJocko Willink, who wrote the
(09:51):
book on a lot of leadershipstuff he's got, wrote multiple
books, and he said the mostpowerful thing you can do is
lead, and so I want to challengeyou to step up and lead.
Today, as we dive into these 13rules, I want you to think
about how you can start to applysome of these rules to your
life and how you can commit tobeing the type of person that
(10:13):
brings certainty to uncertainty,that helps elevate standards,
that helps hold peopleaccountable, that calls them out
but, most importantly, callsthem up and makes them see a
better side of themselves, makesthem see that they have more
potential than maybe they thinkthey do.
Those are the type of men andwomen that we need now more than
ever the leaders that are goingto speak truth to power, that
(10:36):
are going to stand in conviction, that are going to operate from
principle and do it becausethey know it's right, regardless
of what the fuck anybody elsesays.
So, with that said, let's diveinto the 13 rules.
All right, so rule number onegreat leaders are not born.
They're built.
I think oftentimes there's thismisconception that leadership is
(11:00):
a born ability.
It's something that younaturally have and it's just
simply not true.
You might have some of the softskills naturally to be a leader
soft skills like discipline orcharisma.
You might be someone who's verygood at communicating or is
very likable because you'recharismatic and you're
personable, but ultimately,leadership is a skill in your
(11:25):
personable.
But ultimately, leadership is askill and no one is born with
it.
It's something that youintentionally build and
cultivate over time.
And what's unique aboutleadership is it is really a
character trait or a skillexcuse me that is built of
character traits.
You see, there's some thingslike.
I gave you basketball examples,right, Shooting a free throat
is a hard skill that you developby doing lots and lots of
(11:48):
repetitions of shooting.
Leadership is a soft skillbecause it's built by character
traits and I think, ultimately,if you understand that
leadership is something that youcan develop, then you can look
at what character traits do theleaders that you most admire
have and you can develop.
Then you can look at whatcharacter traits do the leaders
that you most admire have andyou can model their behavior by
(12:08):
starting to adopt and createsome of those same character
traits.
So what are some of thesecharacter traits?
I'm going to say they're thingslike having discipline right,
doing what you said you weregoing to do and being the type
of person that sets thestandards.
You have a vision for your lifeand where you want to go.
You operate from a position ofintegrity.
Right, you do what you say andyou say what you mean.
(12:31):
You have integrity.
And I think I just saidintegrity twice.
The next one is mayberesilience.
Right, you want to have thisresilience to you a grit, if you
will right.
But ultimately, the way thatI've learned what type of leader
I want to be is by modeling thetype of leaders that inspire me
(12:51):
.
And I think, if you want tobecome a better leader, the most
important thing you can do isunderstand that they're not born
, they're built.
And the way that you build theleader that you want to be is by
modeling and finding otherleaders that lead in the way
that resonates with you, and youstart to adopt and create some
of those character traits.
All right.
(13:12):
Rule number two great leaderslead themselves first.
This is critical, guys.
The only way that you earn theright to be a leader is if you
can demonstrate to others thatyou can lead yourself, and that
starts truly by discipline, bygetting up and doing what you
said you were going to do, byhaving integrity with yourself
(13:33):
and by allowing your words andyour actions to dictate and
determine what you're going todo and where you're going to go.
And I like to think of.
There's three levels ofleadership.
The first level is that youlearn to lead yourself first,
and if you lead yourself firstfor long enough, you earn the
right to elevate to the secondlevel of leadership, which is
(13:56):
you can now lead others.
And after you have the abilityto lead others and you get
experience by helping leadothers and teaching and training
and coaching, what ultimatelyends up happening then is you
graduate to the third level,which is you start to create
other leaders, and that's maybethe most important part of
leadership.
And I gave you the example ofCoach Rison.
(14:16):
When I look back all theseyears later, I realized what he
was doing was.
He was teaching me how tobecome a leader.
He was leading me, but then hewas teaching me how to lead
myself.
And then I ultimately graduatedto that level and now I have
the capacity to lead a team ofyou know employees and to have a
(14:36):
podcast and to hopefully leadmany of you to really elevate
and and and grow in your lives.
But you have to understand thatleadership comes by leading
yourself first, and if you don't, if you're not, if you don't
have integrity with your wordsand with your actions, then no
one's going to trust you as aleader.
(14:56):
And the best leaders lead froma position of integrity, because
they demonstrate by action thatthey're leading themselves
first.
And the only way you can reallytrust someone is if you can
trust that they're doing whatthey say they're doing.
Rule number three great leadersserve others.
(15:17):
There's this idea that onceyou're in a position of power or
authority, that you don't haveto do anything, that everybody
is responsible to you and youdon't.
You're, you know, you're theone at the top, you're the one
calling the shots, and I just, Ijust think that that couldn't
be more incorrect when it comesto being a great leader.
Yeah, there's some people thatmanage that way.
(15:38):
They manage by the position ofauthority or power, but true
leaders serve those they lead.
And ultimately, I thinkleadership is just a fancy word
for servant.
You know, there's this idea ofservant leadership in the world.
I first heard of it from TonyRobbins, you know, and the whole
idea here is that the only waythat you really have the ability
(16:02):
to become a great leader iswhen you are in service to
others.
And when I think about my jobhere at Live Bearded right, I'm
the CEO of Live Bearded.
We've got 22-ish employeesright now and the number one job
I have is to support and servethem, not the other way around.
And what's interesting, as youascend as a leader to higher and
(16:24):
higher positions, instead ofmore people being responsible to
you, you're actuallyresponsible to more people, and
I think that's one of thebiggest misconceptions that
people have.
As you become a stronger leader, as you are responsible for
more people and yourorganization or your leadership
scale grows, ultimately there'smore demands on you and there's
(16:47):
more people that you exist tosupport and serve, and so, as
you are on your leadershipjourney, you need to understand
that the best leaders servethose they lead, and true
leadership is really just beingsomeone that is in support and
service of someone else.
All right.
Rule number four we've kind oftouched on this one already, but
(17:09):
it's super important, so I wantto talk about it again.
Great leaders lead by example,and really this comes down to
being a leader of integrity, aleader that leads from a
position of authenticity ratherthan a position of power or
authority.
At the end of the day and I canonly speak on my behalf and you
(17:30):
guys tell me if you think thisis true do you trust someone who
doesn't do what they say youshould do?
Do you trust someone thatprojects what your standards
should be or how you should actor behave, but doesn't show up
that way themselves?
My guess is no.
My guess is you don't have anytrust in those people.
Maybe you can trust thatthey're not going to do what
(17:53):
they say they're going to do,but that's a whole different
type of trust, right, I think.
At the end of the day, I thinkthe most powerful thing we can
do is lead by example, and thatmeans that our words say what
we're going to do and ouractions follow our words and we
demonstrate who we are.
By demonstrating who we are.
(18:13):
You have to lead by example.
All right.
Rule number five great leadersinspire action.
You know, I think this is wherethe rubber really meets the
road with leadership.
If you have the ability tocreate a compelling vision and
to enroll people into thatvision right, one day our life
is going to look like this.
(18:34):
One day we're going to havethis opportunity.
One day, our family, ourbusiness, our community is going
to be like this business, ourcommunity is going to be like
this, when you can create acompelling vision for your life
and get people excited aboutparticipating in that vision,
you can really become a greatleader, and part of that comes
by understanding how to meetpeople where they are.
(18:56):
You've got to be able to enrollpeople, to influence them and
to inspire them, and the waythat you're able to do this is
by meeting people where they areand, ultimately, understanding
what's important to them.
If you can understand what'simportant to the people around
you and you can create a visionthat helps meet them where they
(19:18):
are and helps support what'simportant to them, then
ultimately you have the abilityto inspire people to take action
and you can lead that movementor lead that company or that
community, that family, to ahigher level, to a brighter
future, and I think that's, youknow, one of the greatest gifts
that leaders give the world is acompelling vision.
(19:40):
One day I have a dream.
Life is going to look like this.
We're going to do this.
I believe this is going tohappen.
A leader with a powerful visionis a powerful leader.
All right.
Rule number six is great leaderscreate other leaders.
(20:00):
We've talked about this briefly, but it's so critical.
You guys have to understandthat when we lead ourselves, we
give ourselves the privilege tolead others, and when we lead
others, we teach them how tolead themselves.
And ultimately, I think this iswhat we have to do.
This is how a message carriesbeyond us.
This is how a vision carriesbeyond us, carries beyond us.
(20:24):
This is how a vision carriesbeyond us.
We have to develop the skill ofbeing able to create other
leaders by teaching them,supporting them, holding them
accountable, just like coach didfor me back in the day.
Right, he put me in pressuresituations and let me learn how
to fall or rise, and when I fell, he let me learn how to pick
myself up.
Right, if we're always doingeverything for others, then
(20:46):
we're robbing them of theopportunity to learn how to lead
.
And so there's that balance inleadership of you know, helping
support them and also lettingthem fail and learn how to do it
so that they can become leadersthemselves.
You've got to teach others howto do it so that they can become
leaders themselves.
You've got to teach others howto lead.
Rule number seven great leadersare great communicators.
(21:08):
I think this is one of the mostimportant aspects of any
relationship, any conversationor business or partnership.
You've got to be able to be agood communicator and as a
leader, I think maybe the mostimportant part of this is
understanding that the way thatyou communicate is not always
going to be the way that otherpeople communicate.
(21:28):
And the best leaders learn howto meet people where they are
and communicate to people in theway that they want to be
communicated with.
I'm a very intense individualand I'm like a get shit done, no
fucking excuses, like verydirect person most of the time,
and I have someone on my teamthat was a direct report of mine
(21:51):
that wasn't that way.
He was more of a let's talkabout it and like I want to like
feel through this and like talkabout it and see what's going
on.
We were like oil and water fora long time and ultimately I
learned that if I was going tobe a great leader, I had to
lower my level of intensity andwork to meet him where he was at
(22:13):
, and also if he was going to bea great leader, he needed to
understand how to elevate or tomeet me where I was at to some
degree, and so we went frombeing opposites to kind of
meeting in the middle a littlebit, and so, regardless of what
end of the spectrum you're on.
If you want to be a greatcommunicator, you've got to
understand how yourcommunication style is and how
(22:38):
it's different to others and howyou might adapt it
situationally to the differentpeople that you're engaging with
, and if you can do that, youcan definitely become a great
leader.
All right.
Rule number eight great leadersare problem solvers and critical
thinkers, and I think this isone of the biggest attributes
(23:00):
that separates most leaders andgreat leaders.
If you think about the mostsuccessful people, you know the
best leaders that you know,whether athletes or
entrepreneurs or local communitymembers, they do two things
incredibly well.
The first one is they solveproblems, and they solve them by
(23:21):
critical thinking and commonsense, and you have to be able
to really sit with a problem andthink through what's going on
and then ultimately bringsolutions to the table to try to
address the underlying problem.
Rule number eight great leadersare decision makers.
I think maybe the mostimportant responsibility that we
(23:45):
have as a leader is to solveproblems and ultimately to make
decisions that hopefully createsolutions for the problems that
we're facing.
I know, in my role as a CEOhere at Live Bearded, the bigger
that our team has become, themore people that I'm leading,
it's become very clear to methat the most important role I
(24:07):
have is to help my team solveproblems, and that comes by
thinking very critically aboutthings and not just looking at
the surface level of what'staking place, but diving into
the challenges.
Why is this happening?
What's causing it?
What's causing that?
What's causing that?
How do we get two or threelayers deep and really put our
critical thinking cap on andlook at finding patterns or
(24:31):
trends and ultimately trying tosolve the right problem?
But here's the rule ofleadership is you have to be a
great decision maker, and beinga great decision maker starts by
understanding how to solveproblems, and the way that you
understand how to solve problemsis by determining what the
(24:52):
problem is right.
Oftentimes we solve the problemthat isn't actually what's
causing it, and we have thisfeedback cycle of not really
solving the issue that we'refacing.
Now, that's a whole notherconversation.
But to keep this one short,you've got to be great at making
decisions, and that meansyou've got to make decisions
(25:14):
when you don't have all theinformation, when you don't know
what's absolutely right.
You just have to make adecision based on the data or
the insight that you have and dothe best that you have, or the
best that you can in that moment.
All right.
Rule number nine great leadersmust bring certainty to
(25:35):
uncertain situations.
And this is what I was talkingabout in the beginning when I
said you know, I think when Ithink of a leader, I think of
someone who says move out of theway, I will handle it.
When chaos is going on, whenthere's challenges and all sorts
of uncertainty, a leader stepsup and says I will bring
certainty to this moment.
(25:56):
I don't know what the answer is, I don't know how to solve this
, but I'll step up, I will leadand I will take us to find a
solution.
And I think maybe the bestexample of this in our lifetime
is COVID.
Right, it happened not thatlong ago, just a few short years
ago, and we saw how many peoplehad no fucking clue what to do
(26:19):
and there was so much chaos andso much uncertainty.
But the leaders that stood uphelped provide some calm in the
storm and even they didn't knowwhat was going on in the early
days.
Right, there's circumstancesand situations in life where we
just don't have any clue what todo when it happens.
(26:40):
But we still have to keep ourcomposure, and I think one of
the best attributes of a verygood leader is they bring
certainty to uncertain times.
And there's a small framework Iwant to share with you guys.
It's kind of the three mandatesof a leader, and I would say
that if you want to be a greatleader, there's three things you
have to do in uncertain timesyou have to see the situation as
(27:04):
it is, but not worse than it is.
Right.
If you're piling on and talkingabout how terrible the
situation and how fucked it isand oh my gosh, this is
happening and that's happening,right.
If you see the situation worsethan it is, then you're never
going to have the capacity tosee it better than it is.
And true leaders see it as itis, but not worse, right.
(27:27):
You have to call a spade aspade.
You have to speak truth and youhave to say, okay, we fucked up
, or this is happening or that'staking place.
We have to see it as it is, butnot worse than it is.
Once you do that, then the nextmandate of a leader is you have
to see it better than it is.
You have to start to create oneof those compelling visions
that says we can make thissituation better than it is.
(27:50):
And then the third step, thethird mandate, is you got to
take action and go make ithappen.
And that's a good example ofproblem solving.
Hey, I don't know what thefuck's going on here.
All shit's breaking loose.
But let's see it as it is notworse than it is.
Okay, now let's see it betterthan it is.
What can we do here to makethis situation better than it is
(28:10):
?
Come up with a plan, start tosolve problems, think critically
.
Then you take action and makeit better than it is.
If you can do that, if you canbring uncertainty excuse me,
don't bring uncertainty, thatwould be the wrong thing to do
If you can bring certainty touncertain times, you have the
capacity to be a really greatleader, because most people
(28:32):
can't do this.
When stress hits, when chaosbreaks, when there's a lot of
uncertainty in the environment,most people freak out and they
lose their composure.
And if you can be the type ofperson who doesn't, then you
(28:53):
will be required duringdifficult times.
All right, we got a few more.
Rule number 10 is great leaderslive their life by a code, right
?
You got to know who you are,what you believe in, why you
believe it and the type ofleader you want to be, and I
think of this as rules, valuesand beliefs.
The best leaders have a set ofrules for their life, and maybe
the easiest thing to do is callthem standards.
(29:13):
The best leaders have standardsand they constantly strive to
elevate their standards and riseto the level of their standards
, and so that often comes bygetting really clear on who you
are, what you want and how youwant to live your life.
I heard a really interestingsaying, and they said in the
world that we live in today, ifyou don't know who you are, the
(29:37):
world is going to misinform you,and I think that's happening at
a very broad and rapid scale.
In the world we live in, wehave a lot of people who haven't
sat down and decided who theywant to be.
They haven't intentionally saidI want to be like this and I
want to have this type ofcharacter and I want to do these
types of things in my life.
(29:58):
I want to be known for this,and so they don't have a code,
and when you don't have a code,you can never lead.
So if you want to be a leader,you have to sit down and define
who you want to be and how youwant to live and, ultimately,
what standards will you liveyour life by Number 11,.
(30:18):
Great leaders take radicalresponsibility for their life.
That's what entitled to nothingis all about.
Your life is your fault.
It might not be your fault, butit is your responsibility.
You don't control what happensoutside of you, but it is your
responsibility.
How you show up, how you react,how you respond.
If you want to be a greatleader, you have to take
(30:40):
personal responsibility for yourenvironment and for everything
that happens in your life.
If it's up, if you can do that,if you can say I might not be
responsible for this, but it ismy fault.
I might not have created thismess, but I'm going to take
responsibility for it.
If you can own your experienceof life and the failures and
(31:04):
situations of those around you,then you have the capacity to be
a very, very strong leader.
And I can tell you fromexperience, right Going back to
my experience as the CEO here atLive Bearded whenever there's a
fuck up on a major scale, it'smy fault.
There's something I did ordidn't do, there's something
that happened or shouldn't havehappened.
(31:25):
That, ultimately, is within mypurview and therefore my fault,
and I will tell you the bestteammates, the best employees,
the best partners and the bestleaders all take radical
responsibility for their results, good or bad, and then they
(31:46):
work to solve the challenges andthe problems that arise from
those results.
Rule number 12, great leadersanticipate the road ahead.
There's a quote by WayneGretzky and he says I skated to
where the puck was going, notwhere it was.
And ultimately, if you want toreally have the capacity to lead
(32:07):
, you have to be able toanticipate.
You know, maybe a simpleexample of this and I'm not one,
but is parenting, right, I'mnot a parent, so maybe I
shouldn't even speak on it, butI think if you're a parent, you
could probably start toanticipate certain behaviors
that your teenage kids may ormay not have.
Right, they're doing certainthings or not doing certain
things.
They're acting in certain waysor not acting in certain ways.
(32:30):
You could probably start toanticipate what may or may not
be going on right.
I know that's true in businesswhen dealing with vendors or
employees or customers.
Right, there are certain thingsthat happen that you could
probably anticipate where it'sgoing to go, and the best
leaders know how to anticipateand then they act on that
(32:51):
anticipation.
They move before things happenand then are able to maximize
opportunities.
But you have to be able torecognize patterns and see
trends so that you cananticipate where the puck is
going and get there before itdoes.
All right, and the final rulerule number 13, is great leaders
(33:12):
have a sense of self-awareness.
And the way that I defineself-awareness is it's
understanding what motivates you, what drives you, it's
understanding why you feel theway that you do, what triggers
you, what inspires you, whatmakes you tick.
And, ultimately, I think theonly way that we develop
self-awareness is througheducation and reflection, right
(33:36):
Understanding.
Well, when this happens, howdoes it make me feel?
When that happens, why do Ifeel so inspired?
What do I love about this andwhy do I love that over there?
You know for me like I've spentmy entire adult life trying to
understand myself why do what Ido, what inspires me, what
motivates me and, ultimately,how I can be the very best
(33:59):
version of myself.
You know, I think leadership isa constant pursuit to get
better every day, and if you cando that, if you can develop a
self-awareness and start tounderstand what your strengths
and weaknesses are andunderstand how you react in
certain situations.
You know, I think one of thegreatest gifts my dad gave me
(34:20):
was the ability to observebehavior.
You know, I've told you guysthe story about my dad being
this crazy, abusive alcoholic,and when he would drink he would
get very aggressive and I wouldjust observe his behavior
rather than reacting to it.
And by observing I got to say,oh well, when this happens and
that happens and this takesplace over there, and I could
(34:41):
observe the behavior and then Icould start to understand it.
So, rather than getting caughtup in the emotion of it, I could
observe the behavior and then Icould start to understand it.
So, rather than getting caughtup in the emotion of it, I could
handle it in a way that wasproductive.
And I think the best leadershave the composure that they
have.
They can anticipate, they canbring certainty to uncertain
times, they can think criticallyand make decisions, ultimately,
(35:04):
because they have thefoundation of a self-awareness,
of an emotional maturity andintelligence that allows them to
observe rather than react, thatallows them to problem solve
and look for solutions ratherthan blame and make excuses,
blame and make excuses.
And so I think, if you want tobe a really great leader in life
(35:27):
, I would highly recommend youstart to look at how you can
apply these rules into your life.
I think every rule here is veryprescriptive and if you start
to look at any one of them andyou start to develop that
attribute because at every rulethat I just laid out to you,
there's a character trait thatis associated with that and if
(35:48):
you can start to develop thosecharacter traits, you will
become a very powerful leader,the type of leader that people
look to for help they lean on inchallenges and situations.
The type of leader that has thecapacity to create success in
any area of your life, whetherit's a successful marriage and
(36:08):
family life, successful careerand business life, whatever it
is that you want for yourself.
I believe, for me, in my life,the definition of success is
creating life.
On my terms, it's living mylife how I want, with who I want
, where I want, doing the thingsthat I love.
Life how I want, with who Iwant, where I want, doing the
(36:29):
things that I love.
And to me, the only way that weget there is by following these
rules of leadership, and itstarts with us.
Now I'd like to give you guysone cautionary tale With
leadership, there's a lot ofresponsibility that comes, and
with responsibility comes pain.
It comes challenges at times,and I saw this video floating
(36:50):
around online and it saidthere's three costs of
leadership, and I completelyagree and I want to share them
with you, because as you becomea leader, you're going to have
to make hard decisions, you'regoing to do things that are
unpopular, you're going to havestandards that other people
don't understand, and I thinkit's only fair that I share with
(37:11):
you.
There's a lot of benefits toleadership, and leadership, if
practiced, will get youeverything you want in life.
It will help you build life onyour terms.
But there is some costs to that, and one of those is you're
going to have to make harddecisions that do hurt the
people you care about.
You know, not that long ago Ihad to let multiple people go,
(37:34):
and there are people I caredabout, and I had to do it
because, as a leader, by notdoing it, I was affecting the
situation and circumstances ofsome other people, and so you're
going to have to makecircumstances of some other
people, and so you're going tohave to make hard decisions that
hurt people.
That's number one.
Number two is despite your besteffort to do the best for the
(37:56):
most amount of people, you'regoing to be disliked.
People are going to talk shitabout you and you're going to
have to accept the fact thatthere's a difference between
being liked and being a leader,and oftentimes you can't be both
.
You have to choose Do you wantto be liked or do you want to
(38:17):
lead?
And if you want to lead, youhave to have the courage to be
disliked.
And then the third thing is youjust you got to understand that
you're going to bemisunderstood and, in alignment
with people not liking you,you're going to be misunderstood
and maybe more importantly,people are going to talk shit
about you.
We live in a world of keyboardwarriors and hallway all
(38:40):
Americans, people that havenever made it into the arena,
but they stand in the hallwaysand they talk shit.
And again, you can beunderstood and liked or you can
be misunderstood and you canlead.
I would suggest, I wouldencourage you to be comfortable
being misunderstood, to have thecourage to be disliked and to
(39:05):
have the strength to make harddecisions that are going to hurt
people that you care about,because if you're doing it from
a place of true integrity, itwill always be the right
decision and the means willalways be justified by the ends.
I think that it's our moral andspiritual responsibility to
(39:27):
lead.
I really do.
I think God gave us the giftsthat we have so that we can use
those gifts to lead in only theway that we can lead.
And so today, I hope these 13rules maybe gave you a little
bit of perspective into whatleadership is.
Maybe it gave you a new idea ofwhat or how you can become a
(39:49):
better leader.
And I'll end with this there isno right way to be a leader.
There's only a right way foryou and or a wrong way for you,
and the only way to lead is byleading from a position of
integrity and following thesedifferent rules.
So, with that being said, Ihope you guys have an incredible
(40:10):
day.
Thank you for joining me forthis episode and, if you've
listened all the way to the end,I truly appreciate the gift of
your time and attention today.
I know it's the greatest giftyou can give me and for that I
want to say thank you.
If you've got any value fromthis show, all I would ever ask
(40:31):
of you is that you share it.
Share it with someone who youknow has the potential to be a
leader, someone who you knowthat should be out there leading
.
Share it with them so that wecan, together, become the very
best version of ourselves andlead in a way that we know we're
born to do so.
Have a beautiful day.
I think if you want to be a really great leader in
life, I would highly recommendyou start to look at how you can
apply these rules into yourlife.
I think every rule here is veryprescriptive and if you start
to look at any one of them andyou start to develop that
attribute because at every rulethat I just laid out to you,
(00:21):
there's a character trait thatis associated with that and if
you can start to develop thosecharacter traits, you will
become a very powerful leader,the type of leader that people
look to.
I'm a man on a mission.
(00:43):
I don't need no permission.
I'm a man on a mission.
Welcome to, entitled to Nothing,where we believe our life is
our fault.
My name is Mink and I've spentthe last 20 years of my life
running headfirst into failureafter failure life running
(01:06):
headfirst into failure afterfailure and I've learned how to
turn my failures into lessons,and I've used those lessons to
create life on my terms.
I went from broke and bankruptwith six figures in debt to
starting multiple companies thathave generated over $50 million
in sales, and I want to shareeverything I've learned on my
journey to help inspire you onyours.
So today I want to talk to youguys about leadership, and
(01:28):
leadership is an interestingtopic because there is so many
different thoughts andperspectives and books on it.
I went to Amazon and I did asearch for leadership and
there's over 57,000 books and Ithink everybody has their idea
of what leadership is.
And I think, now more than ever, we're at a time in history
where we need really strongleaders to stand up and lead.
(01:53):
And, if I'm honest with youguys, that's one of the reasons
why I felt compared, compared,compelled to start this podcast,
because one of my mentors saidyou are the leader that you've
been waiting for.
One of my mentors said you arethe leader that you've been
waiting for.
If not you who?
And I feel like I want to diveinto this topic of leadership
today.
I want to talk about what it isand why it's important and when
(02:16):
I think about leadership andwhat is it like.
What makes a leader a leader Tome?
I could summarize it like thisit's someone who steps into a
situation where chaos anduncertainty and problems are
around and he says move out ofthe way, I will handle it.
And then he says if you want togo this way, follow me.
(02:38):
I know what to do.
I know how to solve this, Iknow what we got to make happen.
And he leads.
It's someone who is willing toaccept the pressure.
It's someone who's willing tostep into uncertainty, someone
who doesn't have all the answers, someone who will fail, someone
(02:58):
who will stumble, butultimately someone who will
always stand up and keep movingforward.
And I think you know, a leaderis someone who sets the
standards in their life andcalls other people up to raise
their standards.
It's someone who's a teacher,someone who leads by example but
(03:20):
also tries to encourage andinspire those around them to
become better.
And I think you know the firsttime in my life when I really
experienced what leadership waswas in high school basketball.
I had this amazing coach, coachRison, and when I look back on
it now, there were so manythings that he did throughout my
(03:40):
career as a basketball playerthat really taught me leadership
.
He did the whole Mr Miyagithing on me wax on, wax off,
more than I can count.
And I remember when I was asophomore, I was trying out for
varsity.
I made the varsity team andevery day I was going into his
office.
I'm like, hey, coach, how am Idoing?
(04:01):
How's my game.
What do I need to improve?
What do I got to do here?
What do I got to do here?
And ultimately he asked me likeMink, what's your goal?
And I said first I want to makevarsity.
And then, once I made varsity,he's like okay, now what's your
goal?
I was like I want to be a.
(04:21):
What do I got to do here?
What do I got to do here?
How am I doing?
How am I progressing?
I was pestering the shit out ofthis guy and then one day he
just looked at me and he goesMink, do you control whether or
not you start?
And I was like, well, no, coach.
He's like what do you control?
Well, how hard I play coach,then just do that.
(04:44):
Well, how hard I play coach,then just do that.
Just go out and focus on howhard you play, how hard you
practice, focus on gettingbetter, every drill and every
day, and ultimately, the rest ofeverything will take care of
itself.
And I look back on that thenand I was like I've applied that
principle to my life forever.
You know, it's like I don'tcontrol anything outside of me,
(05:05):
right?
Oftentimes, that's what,entitled to nothing, and your
life is your fault is all about.
It's this idea that we don'tcontrol anything outside of us.
All we control is what's insideof us.
You know, there's anotherexperience where, a couple of
years later, when I was a senior, we were doing tryouts and
coach would always do this drillwhere we would have to shoot
(05:26):
free throws and however manyfree throws we shot and missed,
we had to run a suicide, forwhich is like a down and back
down and back down and back downand back Right.
And he let everybody on theteam go before me and we missed
something like 20 shots, and sowe're going to have to run 20
fucking suicides, which, ifyou've ever ran one, you know
(05:48):
how miserable they can be,especially 20 back to back to
back.
So he calls me up at the endand he says Mink, here's the
deal as many as you make in arow, that will deduct how many
we have to run.
So if you make, make in a row,that will deduct how many we
have to run.
So if you make 10 in a row,then you guys have to run 20
(06:11):
right now.
Then I'll remove 10 from thething and you'll only have to
run 10.
I was like, wait a minute.
So if I make 20 in a row, wedon't have to run.
He goes exactly and everybodyon the team is on the baseline
and they're all watching me andI stepped to the free throw line
and I make 21 in a row.
He made me make 21.
And afterwards he pulled measide and he's like Mink, what
(06:31):
the fuck are you doing?
We're supposed to run and I'mlike I'm not going to miss if
you put me in a position where,like it's me in front of the
entire team, like I'm not justintentionally going to miss.
He A never did that again and Bhe put in a rule he called it
the mink rule and it was if Iever made two shots or more in a
(06:52):
row, I had to run.
So that didn't work too wellfor me.
But the moral of the story iswhen I reflect back on that
situation.
He was putting me in highpressure, high stress situations
.
He was challenging me to stepup and to lead.
He was teaching me how tobecome a leader.
You know, and one of probablythe biggest lessons I learned
(07:14):
from him was between my it wasin the summer of my sophomore
year and we were at this bigtournament and I had played a
couple of really bad games in arow Just wasn't in my groove.
And he demoted me to the JVteam for one game and I was so
fucking pissed, I was furiousand I fucking destroyed the
(07:39):
other team, that game.
And I say that like with all oflike, no shame, like I fucking
destroyed them.
And I say that like with all ofLike, no shame, like I fucking
destroyed them.
And I was pissed.
And after the game he pulled measide and he's like you know, a
couple of the other coaches aresaying You're probably the best
shooter in the In thetournament.
And and I was like, yeah, whydid I get demoted then?
(08:01):
And he's like because I neededyou to realize that you were the
best shooter in the tournament.
He demoted me because I waslacking confidence and he knew
that by putting me in thatsituation it would piss me the
fuck off and it would challengeme to step up.
And in hindsight I just I'velooked back on my life and I've
(08:21):
had the opportunity toexperience so many leaders, both
directly and indirectly.
Most of my leaders are in booksand courses and people that
I've never met before.
There are people that I'vewatched on YouTube and on Zoom
and never actually had theopportunity to shake their hand.
And today, what I want to do isI want to share with you 13
rules of leadership that I'velearned, because I really
(08:44):
believe that we live in a timein history where we need strong
leaders now more than ever.
There's a quote that you hearjumping around the internet, and
it says strong leaders creategood times.
Good times create weak leaders.
Weak leaders create bad timesand bad times create strong
(09:07):
leaders.
And unfortunately, I thinkwe've lived in very good times
that have created weak leaders,and we have a lot of challenges,
a lot of struggles, a lot offuckery in the world today, and
it's because we have a lot ofweak leaders.
And my challenge to you, myrequest of you, is that you
(09:30):
start to learn how to become apowerful leader, and it starts
with us.
It starts by understanding thatleadership starts at the
individual level first, and I'mgoing to talk about that in the
rules once we dive into them.
But I was at a speech withJocko Willink, who wrote the
(09:51):
book on a lot of leadershipstuff he's got, wrote multiple
books, and he said the mostpowerful thing you can do is
lead, and so I want to challengeyou to step up and lead.
Today, as we dive into these 13rules, I want you to think
about how you can start to applysome of these rules to your
life and how you can commit tobeing the type of person that
(10:13):
brings certainty to uncertainty,that helps elevate standards,
that helps hold peopleaccountable, that calls them out
but, most importantly, callsthem up and makes them see a
better side of themselves, makesthem see that they have more
potential than maybe they thinkthey do.
Those are the type of men andwomen that we need now more than
ever the leaders that are goingto speak truth to power, that
(10:36):
are going to stand in conviction, that are going to operate from
principle and do it becausethey know it's right, regardless
of what the fuck anybody elsesays.
So, with that said, let's diveinto the 13 rules.
All right, so rule number onegreat leaders are not born.
They're built.
I think oftentimes there's thismisconception that leadership is
(11:00):
a born ability.
It's something that younaturally have and it's just
simply not true.
You might have some of the softskills naturally to be a leader
soft skills like discipline orcharisma.
You might be someone who's verygood at communicating or is
very likable because you'recharismatic and you're
personable, but ultimately,leadership is a skill in your
(11:25):
personable.
But ultimately, leadership is askill and no one is born with
it.
It's something that youintentionally build and
cultivate over time.
And what's unique aboutleadership is it is really a
character trait or a skillexcuse me that is built of
character traits.
You see, there's some thingslike.
I gave you basketball examples,right, Shooting a free throat
is a hard skill that you developby doing lots and lots of
(11:48):
repetitions of shooting.
Leadership is a soft skillbecause it's built by character
traits and I think, ultimately,if you understand that
leadership is something that youcan develop, then you can look
at what character traits do theleaders that you most admire
have and you can develop.
Then you can look at whatcharacter traits do the leaders
that you most admire have andyou can model their behavior by
(12:08):
starting to adopt and createsome of those same character
traits.
So what are some of thesecharacter traits?
I'm going to say they're thingslike having discipline right,
doing what you said you weregoing to do and being the type
of person that sets thestandards.
You have a vision for your lifeand where you want to go.
You operate from a position ofintegrity.
Right, you do what you say andyou say what you mean.
(12:31):
You have integrity.
And I think I just saidintegrity twice.
The next one is mayberesilience.
Right, you want to have thisresilience to you a grit, if you
will right.
But ultimately, the way thatI've learned what type of leader
I want to be is by modeling thetype of leaders that inspire me
(12:51):
.
And I think, if you want tobecome a better leader, the most
important thing you can do isunderstand that they're not born
, they're built.
And the way that you build theleader that you want to be is by
modeling and finding otherleaders that lead in the way
that resonates with you, and youstart to adopt and create some
of those character traits.
All right.
(13:12):
Rule number two great leaderslead themselves first.
This is critical, guys.
The only way that you earn theright to be a leader is if you
can demonstrate to others thatyou can lead yourself, and that
starts truly by discipline, bygetting up and doing what you
said you were going to do, byhaving integrity with yourself
(13:33):
and by allowing your words andyour actions to dictate and
determine what you're going todo and where you're going to go.
And I like to think of.
There's three levels ofleadership.
The first level is that youlearn to lead yourself first,
and if you lead yourself firstfor long enough, you earn the
right to elevate to the secondlevel of leadership, which is
(13:56):
you can now lead others.
And after you have the abilityto lead others and you get
experience by helping leadothers and teaching and training
and coaching, what ultimatelyends up happening then is you
graduate to the third level,which is you start to create
other leaders, and that's maybethe most important part of
leadership.
And I gave you the example ofCoach Rison.
(14:16):
When I look back all theseyears later, I realized what he
was doing was.
He was teaching me how tobecome a leader.
He was leading me, but then hewas teaching me how to lead
myself.
And then I ultimately graduatedto that level and now I have
the capacity to lead a team ofyou know employees and to have a
(14:36):
podcast and to hopefully leadmany of you to really elevate
and and and grow in your lives.
But you have to understand thatleadership comes by leading
yourself first, and if you don't, if you're not, if you don't
have integrity with your wordsand with your actions, then no
one's going to trust you as aleader.
(14:56):
And the best leaders lead froma position of integrity, because
they demonstrate by action thatthey're leading themselves
first.
And the only way you can reallytrust someone is if you can
trust that they're doing whatthey say they're doing.
Rule number three great leadersserve others.
(15:17):
There's this idea that onceyou're in a position of power or
authority, that you don't haveto do anything, that everybody
is responsible to you and youdon't.
You're, you know, you're theone at the top, you're the one
calling the shots, and I just, Ijust think that that couldn't
be more incorrect when it comesto being a great leader.
Yeah, there's some people thatmanage that way.
(15:38):
They manage by the position ofauthority or power, but true
leaders serve those they lead.
And ultimately, I thinkleadership is just a fancy word
for servant.
You know, there's this idea ofservant leadership in the world.
I first heard of it from TonyRobbins, you know, and the whole
idea here is that the only waythat you really have the ability
(16:02):
to become a great leader iswhen you are in service to
others.
And when I think about my jobhere at Live Bearded right, I'm
the CEO of Live Bearded.
We've got 22-ish employeesright now and the number one job
I have is to support and servethem, not the other way around.
And what's interesting, as youascend as a leader to higher and
(16:24):
higher positions, instead ofmore people being responsible to
you, you're actuallyresponsible to more people, and
I think that's one of thebiggest misconceptions that
people have.
As you become a stronger leader, as you are responsible for
more people and yourorganization or your leadership
scale grows, ultimately there'smore demands on you and there's
(16:47):
more people that you exist tosupport and serve, and so, as
you are on your leadershipjourney, you need to understand
that the best leaders servethose they lead, and true
leadership is really just beingsomeone that is in support and
service of someone else.
All right.
Rule number four we've kind oftouched on this one already, but
(17:09):
it's super important, so I wantto talk about it again.
Great leaders lead by example,and really this comes down to
being a leader of integrity, aleader that leads from a
position of authenticity ratherthan a position of power or
authority.
At the end of the day and I canonly speak on my behalf and you
(17:30):
guys tell me if you think thisis true do you trust someone who
doesn't do what they say youshould do?
Do you trust someone thatprojects what your standards
should be or how you should actor behave, but doesn't show up
that way themselves?
My guess is no.
My guess is you don't have anytrust in those people.
Maybe you can trust thatthey're not going to do what
(17:53):
they say they're going to do,but that's a whole different
type of trust, right, I think.
At the end of the day, I thinkthe most powerful thing we can
do is lead by example, and thatmeans that our words say what
we're going to do and ouractions follow our words and we
demonstrate who we are.
By demonstrating who we are.
(18:13):
You have to lead by example.
All right.
Rule number five great leadersinspire action.
You know, I think this is wherethe rubber really meets the
road with leadership.
If you have the ability tocreate a compelling vision and
to enroll people into thatvision right, one day our life
is going to look like this.
(18:34):
One day we're going to havethis opportunity.
One day, our family, ourbusiness, our community is going
to be like this business, ourcommunity is going to be like
this, when you can create acompelling vision for your life
and get people excited aboutparticipating in that vision,
you can really become a greatleader, and part of that comes
by understanding how to meetpeople where they are.
(18:56):
You've got to be able to enrollpeople, to influence them and
to inspire them, and the waythat you're able to do this is
by meeting people where they areand, ultimately, understanding
what's important to them.
If you can understand what'simportant to the people around
you and you can create a visionthat helps meet them where they
(19:18):
are and helps support what'simportant to them, then
ultimately you have the abilityto inspire people to take action
and you can lead that movementor lead that company or that
community, that family, to ahigher level, to a brighter
future, and I think that's, youknow, one of the greatest gifts
that leaders give the world is acompelling vision.
(19:40):
One day I have a dream.
Life is going to look like this.
We're going to do this.
I believe this is going tohappen.
A leader with a powerful visionis a powerful leader.
All right.
Rule number six is great leaderscreate other leaders.
(20:00):
We've talked about this briefly, but it's so critical.
You guys have to understandthat when we lead ourselves, we
give ourselves the privilege tolead others, and when we lead
others, we teach them how tolead themselves.
And ultimately, I think this iswhat we have to do.
This is how a message carriesbeyond us.
This is how a vision carriesbeyond us, carries beyond us.
(20:24):
This is how a vision carriesbeyond us.
We have to develop the skill ofbeing able to create other
leaders by teaching them,supporting them, holding them
accountable, just like coach didfor me back in the day.
Right, he put me in pressuresituations and let me learn how
to fall or rise, and when I fell, he let me learn how to pick
myself up.
Right, if we're always doingeverything for others, then
(20:46):
we're robbing them of theopportunity to learn how to lead
.
And so there's that balance inleadership of you know, helping
support them and also lettingthem fail and learn how to do it
so that they can become leadersthemselves.
You've got to teach others howto do it so that they can become
leaders themselves.
You've got to teach others howto lead.
Rule number seven great leadersare great communicators.
(21:08):
I think this is one of the mostimportant aspects of any
relationship, any conversationor business or partnership.
You've got to be able to be agood communicator and as a
leader, I think maybe the mostimportant part of this is
understanding that the way thatyou communicate is not always
going to be the way that otherpeople communicate.
(21:28):
And the best leaders learn howto meet people where they are
and communicate to people in theway that they want to be
communicated with.
I'm a very intense individualand I'm like a get shit done, no
fucking excuses, like verydirect person most of the time,
and I have someone on my teamthat was a direct report of mine
(21:51):
that wasn't that way.
He was more of a let's talkabout it and like I want to like
feel through this and like talkabout it and see what's going
on.
We were like oil and water fora long time and ultimately I
learned that if I was going tobe a great leader, I had to
lower my level of intensity andwork to meet him where he was at
(22:13):
, and also if he was going to bea great leader, he needed to
understand how to elevate or tomeet me where I was at to some
degree, and so we went frombeing opposites to kind of
meeting in the middle a littlebit, and so, regardless of what
end of the spectrum you're on.
If you want to be a greatcommunicator, you've got to
understand how yourcommunication style is and how
(22:38):
it's different to others and howyou might adapt it
situationally to the differentpeople that you're engaging with
, and if you can do that, youcan definitely become a great
leader.
All right.
Rule number eight great leadersare problem solvers and critical
thinkers, and I think this isone of the biggest attributes
(23:00):
that separates most leaders andgreat leaders.
If you think about the mostsuccessful people, you know the
best leaders that you know,whether athletes or
entrepreneurs or local communitymembers, they do two things
incredibly well.
The first one is they solveproblems, and they solve them by
(23:21):
critical thinking and commonsense, and you have to be able
to really sit with a problem andthink through what's going on
and then ultimately bringsolutions to the table to try to
address the underlying problem.
Rule number eight great leadersare decision makers.
I think maybe the mostimportant responsibility that we
(23:45):
have as a leader is to solveproblems and ultimately to make
decisions that hopefully createsolutions for the problems that
we're facing.
I know, in my role as a CEOhere at Live Bearded, the bigger
that our team has become, themore people that I'm leading,
it's become very clear to methat the most important role I
(24:07):
have is to help my team solveproblems, and that comes by
thinking very critically aboutthings and not just looking at
the surface level of what'staking place, but diving into
the challenges.
Why is this happening?
What's causing it?
What's causing that?
What's causing that?
How do we get two or threelayers deep and really put our
critical thinking cap on andlook at finding patterns or
(24:31):
trends and ultimately trying tosolve the right problem?
But here's the rule ofleadership is you have to be a
great decision maker, and beinga great decision maker starts by
understanding how to solveproblems, and the way that you
understand how to solve problemsis by determining what the
(24:52):
problem is right.
Oftentimes we solve the problemthat isn't actually what's
causing it, and we have thisfeedback cycle of not really
solving the issue that we'refacing.
Now, that's a whole notherconversation.
But to keep this one short,you've got to be great at making
decisions, and that meansyou've got to make decisions
(25:14):
when you don't have all theinformation, when you don't know
what's absolutely right.
You just have to make adecision based on the data or
the insight that you have and dothe best that you have, or the
best that you can in that moment.
All right.
Rule number nine great leadersmust bring certainty to
(25:35):
uncertain situations.
And this is what I was talkingabout in the beginning when I
said you know, I think when Ithink of a leader, I think of
someone who says move out of theway, I will handle it.
When chaos is going on, whenthere's challenges and all sorts
of uncertainty, a leader stepsup and says I will bring
certainty to this moment.
(25:56):
I don't know what the answer is, I don't know how to solve this
, but I'll step up, I will leadand I will take us to find a
solution.
And I think maybe the bestexample of this in our lifetime
is COVID.
Right, it happened not thatlong ago, just a few short years
ago, and we saw how many peoplehad no fucking clue what to do
(26:19):
and there was so much chaos andso much uncertainty.
But the leaders that stood uphelped provide some calm in the
storm and even they didn't knowwhat was going on in the early
days.
Right, there's circumstancesand situations in life where we
just don't have any clue what todo when it happens.
(26:40):
But we still have to keep ourcomposure, and I think one of
the best attributes of a verygood leader is they bring
certainty to uncertain times.
And there's a small framework Iwant to share with you guys.
It's kind of the three mandatesof a leader, and I would say
that if you want to be a greatleader, there's three things you
have to do in uncertain timesyou have to see the situation as
(27:04):
it is, but not worse than it is.
Right.
If you're piling on and talkingabout how terrible the
situation and how fucked it isand oh my gosh, this is
happening and that's happening,right.
If you see the situation worsethan it is, then you're never
going to have the capacity tosee it better than it is.
And true leaders see it as itis, but not worse, right.
(27:27):
You have to call a spade aspade.
You have to speak truth and youhave to say, okay, we fucked up
, or this is happening or that'staking place.
We have to see it as it is, butnot worse than it is.
Once you do that, then the nextmandate of a leader is you have
to see it better than it is.
You have to start to create oneof those compelling visions
that says we can make thissituation better than it is.
(27:50):
And then the third step, thethird mandate, is you got to
take action and go make ithappen.
And that's a good example ofproblem solving.
Hey, I don't know what thefuck's going on here.
All shit's breaking loose.
But let's see it as it is notworse than it is.
Okay, now let's see it betterthan it is.
What can we do here to makethis situation better than it is
(28:10):
?
Come up with a plan, start tosolve problems, think critically
.
Then you take action and makeit better than it is.
If you can do that, if you canbring uncertainty excuse me,
don't bring uncertainty, thatwould be the wrong thing to do
If you can bring certainty touncertain times, you have the
capacity to be a really greatleader, because most people
(28:32):
can't do this.
When stress hits, when chaosbreaks, when there's a lot of
uncertainty in the environment,most people freak out and they
lose their composure.
And if you can be the type ofperson who doesn't, then you
(28:53):
will be required duringdifficult times.
All right, we got a few more.
Rule number 10 is great leaderslive their life by a code, right
?
You got to know who you are,what you believe in, why you
believe it and the type ofleader you want to be, and I
think of this as rules, valuesand beliefs.
The best leaders have a set ofrules for their life, and maybe
the easiest thing to do is callthem standards.
(29:13):
The best leaders have standardsand they constantly strive to
elevate their standards and riseto the level of their standards
, and so that often comes bygetting really clear on who you
are, what you want and how youwant to live your life.
I heard a really interestingsaying, and they said in the
world that we live in today, ifyou don't know who you are, the
(29:37):
world is going to misinform you,and I think that's happening at
a very broad and rapid scale.
In the world we live in, wehave a lot of people who haven't
sat down and decided who theywant to be.
They haven't intentionally saidI want to be like this and I
want to have this type ofcharacter and I want to do these
types of things in my life.
(29:58):
I want to be known for this,and so they don't have a code,
and when you don't have a code,you can never lead.
So if you want to be a leader,you have to sit down and define
who you want to be and how youwant to live and, ultimately,
what standards will you liveyour life by Number 11,.
(30:18):
Great leaders take radicalresponsibility for their life.
That's what entitled to nothingis all about.
Your life is your fault.
It might not be your fault, butit is your responsibility.
You don't control what happensoutside of you, but it is your
responsibility.
How you show up, how you react,how you respond.
If you want to be a greatleader, you have to take
(30:40):
personal responsibility for yourenvironment and for everything
that happens in your life.
If it's up, if you can do that,if you can say I might not be
responsible for this, but it ismy fault.
I might not have created thismess, but I'm going to take
responsibility for it.
If you can own your experienceof life and the failures and
(31:04):
situations of those around you,then you have the capacity to be
a very, very strong leader.
And I can tell you fromexperience, right Going back to
my experience as the CEO here atLive Bearded whenever there's a
fuck up on a major scale, it'smy fault.
There's something I did ordidn't do, there's something
that happened or shouldn't havehappened.
(31:25):
That, ultimately, is within mypurview and therefore my fault,
and I will tell you the bestteammates, the best employees,
the best partners and the bestleaders all take radical
responsibility for their results, good or bad, and then they
(31:46):
work to solve the challenges andthe problems that arise from
those results.
Rule number 12, great leadersanticipate the road ahead.
There's a quote by WayneGretzky and he says I skated to
where the puck was going, notwhere it was.
And ultimately, if you want toreally have the capacity to lead
(32:07):
, you have to be able toanticipate.
You know, maybe a simpleexample of this and I'm not one,
but is parenting, right, I'mnot a parent, so maybe I
shouldn't even speak on it, butI think if you're a parent, you
could probably start toanticipate certain behaviors
that your teenage kids may ormay not have.
Right, they're doing certainthings or not doing certain
things.
They're acting in certain waysor not acting in certain ways.
(32:30):
You could probably start toanticipate what may or may not
be going on right.
I know that's true in businesswhen dealing with vendors or
employees or customers.
Right, there are certain thingsthat happen that you could
probably anticipate where it'sgoing to go, and the best
leaders know how to anticipateand then they act on that
(32:51):
anticipation.
They move before things happenand then are able to maximize
opportunities.
But you have to be able torecognize patterns and see
trends so that you cananticipate where the puck is
going and get there before itdoes.
All right, and the final rulerule number 13, is great leaders
(33:12):
have a sense of self-awareness.
And the way that I defineself-awareness is it's
understanding what motivates you, what drives you, it's
understanding why you feel theway that you do, what triggers
you, what inspires you, whatmakes you tick.
And, ultimately, I think theonly way that we develop
self-awareness is througheducation and reflection, right
(33:36):
Understanding.
Well, when this happens, howdoes it make me feel?
When that happens, why do Ifeel so inspired?
What do I love about this andwhy do I love that over there?
You know for me like I've spentmy entire adult life trying to
understand myself why do what Ido, what inspires me, what
motivates me and, ultimately,how I can be the very best
(33:59):
version of myself.
You know, I think leadership isa constant pursuit to get
better every day, and if you cando that, if you can develop a
self-awareness and start tounderstand what your strengths
and weaknesses are andunderstand how you react in
certain situations.
You know, I think one of thegreatest gifts my dad gave me
(34:20):
was the ability to observebehavior.
You know, I've told you guysthe story about my dad being
this crazy, abusive alcoholic,and when he would drink he would
get very aggressive and I wouldjust observe his behavior
rather than reacting to it.
And by observing I got to say,oh well, when this happens and
that happens and this takesplace over there, and I could
(34:41):
observe the behavior and then Icould start to understand it.
So, rather than getting caughtup in the emotion of it, I could
observe the behavior and then Icould start to understand it.
So, rather than getting caughtup in the emotion of it, I could
handle it in a way that wasproductive.
And I think the best leadershave the composure that they
have.
They can anticipate, they canbring certainty to uncertain
times, they can think criticallyand make decisions, ultimately,
(35:04):
because they have thefoundation of a self-awareness,
of an emotional maturity andintelligence that allows them to
observe rather than react, thatallows them to problem solve
and look for solutions ratherthan blame and make excuses,
blame and make excuses.
And so I think, if you want tobe a really great leader in life
(35:27):
, I would highly recommend youstart to look at how you can
apply these rules into your life.
I think every rule here is veryprescriptive and if you start
to look at any one of them andyou start to develop that
attribute because at every rulethat I just laid out to you,
there's a character trait thatis associated with that and if
(35:48):
you can start to develop thosecharacter traits, you will
become a very powerful leader,the type of leader that people
look to for help they lean on inchallenges and situations.
The type of leader that has thecapacity to create success in
any area of your life, whetherit's a successful marriage and
(36:08):
family life, successful careerand business life, whatever it
is that you want for yourself.
I believe, for me, in my life,the definition of success is
creating life.
On my terms, it's living mylife how I want, with who I want
, where I want, doing the thingsthat I love.
Life how I want, with who Iwant, where I want, doing the
(36:29):
things that I love.
And to me, the only way that weget there is by following these
rules of leadership, and itstarts with us.
Now I'd like to give you guysone cautionary tale With
leadership, there's a lot ofresponsibility that comes, and
with responsibility comes pain.
It comes challenges at times,and I saw this video floating
(36:50):
around online and it saidthere's three costs of
leadership, and I completelyagree and I want to share them
with you, because as you becomea leader, you're going to have
to make hard decisions, you'regoing to do things that are
unpopular, you're going to havestandards that other people
don't understand, and I thinkit's only fair that I share with
(37:11):
you.
There's a lot of benefits toleadership, and leadership, if
practiced, will get youeverything you want in life.
It will help you build life onyour terms.
But there is some costs to that, and one of those is you're
going to have to make harddecisions that do hurt the
people you care about.
You know, not that long ago Ihad to let multiple people go,
(37:34):
and there are people I caredabout, and I had to do it
because, as a leader, by notdoing it, I was affecting the
situation and circumstances ofsome other people, and so you're
going to have to makecircumstances of some other
people, and so you're going tohave to make hard decisions that
hurt people.
That's number one.
Number two is despite your besteffort to do the best for the
(37:56):
most amount of people, you'regoing to be disliked.
People are going to talk shitabout you and you're going to
have to accept the fact thatthere's a difference between
being liked and being a leader,and oftentimes you can't be both
.
You have to choose Do you wantto be liked or do you want to
(38:17):
lead?
And if you want to lead, youhave to have the courage to be
disliked.
And then the third thing is youjust you got to understand that
you're going to bemisunderstood and, in alignment
with people not liking you,you're going to be misunderstood
and maybe more importantly,people are going to talk shit
about you.
We live in a world of keyboardwarriors and hallway all
(38:40):
Americans, people that havenever made it into the arena,
but they stand in the hallwaysand they talk shit.
And again, you can beunderstood and liked or you can
be misunderstood and you canlead.
I would suggest, I wouldencourage you to be comfortable
being misunderstood, to have thecourage to be disliked and to
(39:05):
have the strength to make harddecisions that are going to hurt
people that you care about,because if you're doing it from
a place of true integrity, itwill always be the right
decision and the means willalways be justified by the ends.
I think that it's our moral andspiritual responsibility to
(39:27):
lead.
I really do.
I think God gave us the giftsthat we have so that we can use
those gifts to lead in only theway that we can lead.
And so today, I hope these 13rules maybe gave you a little
bit of perspective into whatleadership is.
Maybe it gave you a new idea ofwhat or how you can become a
(39:49):
better leader.
And I'll end with this there isno right way to be a leader.
There's only a right way foryou and or a wrong way for you,
and the only way to lead is byleading from a position of
integrity and following thesedifferent rules.
So, with that being said, Ihope you guys have an incredible
(40:10):
day.
Thank you for joining me forthis episode and, if you've
listened all the way to the end,I truly appreciate the gift of
your time and attention today.
I know it's the greatest giftyou can give me and for that I
want to say thank you.
If you've got any value fromthis show, all I would ever ask
(40:31):
of you is that you share it.
Share it with someone who youknow has the potential to be a
leader, someone who you knowthat should be out there leading
.
Share it with them so that wecan, together, become the very
best version of ourselves andlead in a way that we know we're
born to do so.
Have a beautiful day.
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