May 22, 2024 • 37 mins
Today, we're discussing adversity and how to overcome it. Recently, at a mastermind event, I was asked about overcoming some of my biggest business failures and how I managed to keep going. I believe this topic is worth discussing more often because the fear of failure and challenges can hold us back from achieving our goals.
Whether it's dealing with external circumstances or internal doubts and fears, this episode is about transforming our mindset to see adversity as an opportunity for growth. Join me as we explore how to embrace challenges, take massive action, and never quit on the path to achieving our dreams.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Overcome it.
(00:00):
Recently, I was at a mastermind.
I was asked to speak and I wasdoing a Q&A at the end of my
talk and one of the participantsasked me you know, how do you
overcome some of your biggestbusiness failures?
How did you overcome thatadversity and keep going?
Adversity and challenges andfailure and struggles is
(00:29):
something that is worthy ofdiscussion.
I think we should talk about ita lot more than we do, because
oftentimes it's the fear offailure, the fear of the
adversity, the challenges thathold us back, and simply not
facing them, not addressing them, not leaning into them,
ultimately is one of the biggestthings that causes us to not
achieve the goals where webelieve our life is our fault.
(00:52):
My name is Mink and I startedthis show because I've spent the
(01:18):
last 20 years running headfirstinto failure after failure, and
I've learned how to turn myfailures into lessons, and I've
used those lessons to createlife on my terms.
I went from broke and bankruptwith six figures in debt to
starting multiple companies thathave generated over $50 million
in sales, and I want to shareeverything I've learned on my
(01:39):
journey to help inspire you onyours.
Today, we're going to talkabout adversity and how to
overcome it.
Recently I was at a mastermind.
I was asked to speak and I wasdoing a Q&A at the end of my
talk and one of the participantsasked me you know, how do you
overcome some of your biggestbusiness failures?
How did you overcome thatadversity and keep going?
(02:01):
And, to be honest with you guys, I think this topic of
adversity and challenges andfailure and struggles is
something that is worthy ofdiscussion.
I think we should talk about ita lot more than we do, because
oftentimes it's the fear offailure, the fear of the
adversity, the challenges thathold us back and simply not
(02:25):
facing them, not addressing them, not leaning into them,
ultimately is one of the biggestthings that causes us to not
achieve the goals, the life, thedreams that we have.
In a previous episode I talkedabout the greatest competition
we'll ever have is withourselves, and oftentimes the
(02:46):
greatest competition we'll everhave is with ourselves, and
oftentimes that competitionexists between where you are
today and where you want to be,and in the middle of that is the
adversity, is the unknown, isthe uncertainty.
It's the shit that you don'tknow.
That you don't know, it's thefailure that you're guaranteed
to experience on the path and Ithink the only reason why I've
been able to overcome myfailures from.
(03:09):
You know, I went into debt sixfigures, had to file bankruptcy,
made a couple million bucks inmy next business venture, had a
lot of success.
Then I lost all of it and thenI went in six figures in debt
again, starting live bearded in.
In the beginning, I puteverything on credit card.
I did it, took out a personalloan and at one point in time, I
had another hundred plusthousand dollars in debt and I
(03:31):
wasn't sure if I was going to beable to turn it around.
And I think the one thing thatevery winner has in common is
they've learned how to fail.
In fact, I would, you know, Iwould suggest that the people
that have won the most have doneso because they've also failed
(03:53):
more than everyone else.
You know, whether you thinkabout a sports analogy, a
business analogy?
I was literally just watchingthis video the other day and it
was Elon Musk and he was talkingabout the creation and the
development of Tesla and SpaceXand everything that happened.
And he said there was a momentin 2008 when the world economies
(04:14):
were collapsing and he goes Iwas out of money.
He made a billion plus dollarson PayPal and he invested all of
it into Tesla and SpaceX andhis ventures.
And he said it was ChristmasEve, 2008.
And in the last hour of thelast day, I secured a round of
(04:34):
funding that would have allowedTesla to continue to keep going.
But if I didn't get that roundof funding, he goes.
I know with absolute certaintyTesla would have went bankrupt
and SpaceX would have neverexisted.
And so here you have thewealthiest man in the world
saying that literally all of hisfortune, all of his success
(04:55):
over the last 15 years came downto one moment, one decision in
time, one action that took placein time, one action that took
place.
And it was such a reminder tome that the people that win the
most are on the brink of failureand have failed more often than
(05:15):
anyone else.
I have a quote on my wall andit says the road to success is
paved with failure, and one ofthe things that I believe is
success and failure are twosides of the same coin, and if
you look at like, baseball is agreat analogy.
Um, to go to the hall of fame,you hit the ball.
(05:36):
Three out of every 10 times atbat, you got to hit the ball 300
.
And that means you're failingseven out of 10 times.
This is just this universalprinciple in life that we're
going to fail way more than weever succeed.
It's in our failures, in ouradversity, that we actually
(05:57):
develop the skills, the musclesand the capacity to win.
And so often we hold ourselvesback from ever getting started
because we have failed and wedon't know how to deal with it,
or we're afraid of the adversityand the challenges and the
unknown, and so we never getstarted.
And today, what I want to do isshare with you how I've
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overcome some adversity in mylife, maybe share a story with
you and talk about how all of uscan start to see adversity not
as a negative but as a positive.
You know, I think if we can seeadversity is happening for us
as an opportunity for us to grow, as a uh it's exposing where
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we're weak or where we need tolean into, and we can see this
challenges in the struggle oflife as a worthy opponent, then
you give yourself theopportunity to overcome and
endure anything that comes yourway.
And if there's one thing Ithink we could all agree life is
fucking hard.
Things are going to break.
(07:02):
Stuff is going to go wrong.
We're going to we Stuff isgoing to go wrong, we're going
to.
We're going to struggle attimes, and I think we have.
We get a decision.
We have a decision in everymoment to make, and that
decision is is this happening tome, am I going to be a victim
of this moment, of thischallenge, of this struggle, or
is it happening for me and it'sgiven to me by my creator so I
(07:26):
can grow, so I can evolve, so Ican expand my capacity?
A couple of weeks ago I had aconversation with a good buddy
of mine named Dave Skatchard,and if you guys listen to the
podcast, if you haven't listenedto that episode, I highly
recommend it.
But Dave was talking about howyou know, when we get started,
our capacity is only so big,right, but then we experience
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some type of failure or sometype of loss or some type of
setback in an area of our life,and in order to overcome that
setback or right that wrong, wehave to get better in that area
of our life.
And so, you know, maybe it's inour relationships, you know,
maybe we've had a few failedrelationships and we have to
learn how to become a betterpartner and a better you know
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participant in our relationships.
We need to maybe fix and evolveor grow some aspects of
ourselves so that we are able toenjoy that partnership or in
business right, I have failedover and over in business, and
every time I failed it wasbecause I was missing a skill or
a character trait or a belief,and the only way that I was able
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to expand past that point wasto invest into my skills, into
my character traits, into mybeliefs, to develop my capacity
to create more, to be more, todo more.
And so I think today, as we talkabout adversity, the very most
important lesson that I think Ican share with you guys is
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adversity is coming.
There is a storm on the horizon.
We don't, we don't wish for it,we don't want it to happen, but
we anticipate it's going to,because the truth of life is
it's going to fucking happen,and the best thing that we can
do is understand that tough dayswill come.
And it's not the tough daysthat are the problem, it's
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viewing them as a problem.
That's the issue.
I heard uh, you guys know Ilove Tony Robbins and he said
the greatest problem you have isyou think you shouldn't have
them, but problems are given tous so we can grow, so we can
evolve, so we can expand ourcapacity.
And I can tell you guys,probably a moment in my life
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where I felt my capacity expandmaybe more than any other time
was in 2020, was during COVID.
I think we all have our ownexperience of COVID and what
that meant for us and maybe youlost someone.
My experience of COVID wasintense, and not actually
(09:54):
because of the virus, butbecause of a whole series of
events that were taking placebefore that.
Right in the beginning ofFebruary, I took a trip down to
Hawaii.
I love Maui.
I'm going down there next weekactually, so we're going to do
some interviews and somepodcasts on location.
But in like the beginning ofFebruary 2020, I was in.
I was in Maui and I reconnectedwith a friend that was down
(10:16):
there and we were watching thesunset and we were chatting and
she shared with me that sheuncovered she had a brain tumor
and it was a very aggressiveform of cancer and that the
doctors were going to have toperform brain surgery and they
didn't know if she was going tomake it and if she did make it,
(10:37):
there was a likelihood that theywouldn't be able to get all of
the tumor because it was sorapidly expanding and she was
going to lose all of her motorfunction.
And I just remember, while thisdidn't have anything to do with
me, I just remember feeling somuch, you know, you know so much
compassion and empathy for myfriend in this moment and
thinking, damn, you know, lifeis so short and in a moment,
(11:00):
anything can happen to us, andin a moment, anything can happen
to us.
We need to just really try tomaximize every day.
So this is February 2020.
On that trip, that very sametrip, a few days later, my mom
called me and said that mystepfather had just had a
massive heart attack.
My mom was scared, she was likereally worried that he wasn't
going to make it and, um, youknow, she, she was kind of
(11:23):
telling me what was going on andultimately, I was trying to be
there to support her as much aspossible.
But I was in Hawaii, she wasback in Montana and so, you know
, we were staying in touch, butI could really tell that she was
really, really struggling andreally scared, and so I was
feeling some of that emotion formy mom as well.
When I got back to Arizonaabout a week later and my mom
(11:44):
called me again and said Anthony, he had another heart attack.
This one was like a quadruplebypass.
They're going to have to doopen heart surgery.
They're going to have toreplace his arteries.
Now, again, this wasn'timpacting me personally like my
physical body, but just to seemy mom that scared and go
through that, you know, my heartwas going out to her and I was
trying to think about how Icould support her and what I
(12:06):
could do.
Meanwhile I was back in Arizonarunning the company and getting
everything going and we were onset shooting a commercial when
one of our employees, justin,who is a family member of ours,
he's been with us for so manyyears and he's my business
partner's biological brother hada heart attack on set, in front
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of all of our employees and hewe had to call the ambulance.
He got in the ambulance, he wasrushed to the hospital.
He flatlined on his way to thehospital.
My business partner, obviously,spence.
He was a wreck.
So I'm trying to support him,I'm trying to hold down the
company and I'm thinking tomyself what the fuck is going on
.
First, a friend.
A friend has a brain tumor,then my stepfather has two heart
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attacks in a week.
Now one of my employees, infront of my eyes, has a heart
attack.
And I'm just thinking, wow,this is.
I get kind of I get choked upthinking about it.
It's just there's a lot goingon here.
Now it was middle of Februaryand then March 3rd my sister
called me and said Anthony, uh,dad is in a coma, she's like.
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I went to his house to check onhim and he was laying lifeless
on the floor.
I called the emergency.
The ambulance is on the way,but, uh, I'll keep you updated.
So now I'm like friend,stepfather Justin, and now my
father is in a coma.
And so, to make a long storyshort, I go to Oregon the next
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day.
I get to the hospital and thedoctor pulls me aside and he
says Anthony, your father hassevere liver failure and you
guys know he drank a lot in hislife and it finally caught up to
him and his liver had failedand his body had become so toxic
, due to the liver not working,that he went into a coma.
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And at first the doctor tellsme you know, we think that we're
going to be able to revive himor we've got him on a bunch of
meds.
We're going to try to get himback into consciousness and get
him awake.
And shortly thereafter that,they they called me in and they
said Anthony, everything haschanged and we don't think he's
going to make it and he's on asuperhuman dose of drugs.
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Um, and, as his next of kin, weneed to ask you, you need to
make a decision.
Do you want to try to keep himon life support and we can do
everything that we can?
Or, if you want, we can makethe decision, or you can make
the decision to take him offlife support and say your
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goodbyes.
Now there's a whole series ofevents that lead up to this
moment and in my heart, after hehad wanted to kill himself and
told me he was going to killhimself and all the stuff, I
knew in my heart that it was aprivilege to make that decision
for him, and so I made thedecision to take him off life
support and to be in the roomand hold his hand while he
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passed away.
Support and to be in the roomand hold his hand while he
passed away.
And I just remember theintensity of that moment, the
experience, the emotion, thepain, the sadness, the regret.
I remember in that momentfeeling so much like I wish I
would have done.
I wish I would have loved moreand done more and tried Like I
just had all this wave ofemotion.
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This is March 4th 2020.
I get back to Arizona 10 dayslater.
After taking care of his affairsand getting him cremated, going
through that whole process, Icome into the office on like
March 12th and I tell my guyshey, you know, I want to take a
little bit of time off.
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I want to process this.
I think I'm going to maybe goon a trip somewhere, maybe be
gone for a couple weeks.
And everyone on the team islike, of course, no problem, but
now I'm conflicted because wegot Justin is in the hospital
still, my dad passed away, mybusiness partner, like there's
all this fucking chaos, and thenMarch 15th hits and the world
shuts down and our business,like our sales, drop 70%
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overnight.
And I was like, well, now Ican't go anywhere.
Now my business is on the brinkof collapse.
I can't.
I've got all this, all thesepeople and salaries and
infrastructure, and if salesdon't turn around, like what am
I going to do?
I'm not going to be able to paythe bills.
The business, in 2020, wasreally just on the cusp of
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profitability and getting goingand I remember just sitting
there thinking how the fuck am Igoing to find the courage and
the strength to get through allof this?
I've got a friend with cancer,my stepfather's you know two
heart attacks, my one of myemployees and my business
partner's brothers in thehospital on life support with a
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heart attack, needing to getopen heart surgery.
My dad passes away now COVID,and then the business falls 60,
70%.
Man, god must have a sense ofhumor.
And in that moment I justrealized, you know what, like, I
don't know how we're going toget through this.
I don't know what we're goingto do, but the only thing I can
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do is show up every day and leanin and embrace this.
I'm going to strive to be thebest that I can be in this
moment and you know, I thinkoftentimes there's two types of
adversity in life.
There is life created adversity.
There's external situations andcircumstances and things that
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are happening outside of ourcontrol.
And in 2020, for me, all ofthat that I just explained to
you is outside of my control andI'm sure you have your own
story.
I'm sure you have your ownexperiences of what happened in
that period of your life oranother period when maybe you
lost someone or went through atragic event.
There's external adversity andI think the best thing that we
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can do in those moments isunderstand that life is
happening for us, that there isa plan, that our creator has
given this to us for a purposeand, although we might not know
what it is and it might hurt andit might be, one of the most
painful things that we growthrough might be one of the most
painful things that we growthrough.
That we grow through On theother side of that is a greater
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strength, is a greater capacity,and I've said this before, but
one of my favorite authors isMichael Singer.
He wrote the SurrenderExperiment, the Untethered Soul,
and one of the things that hesays that really changed my life
is this he said everyexperience of life, all of the
good and all of the bad, makesus a more complete version of
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ourselves.
It gives us the capacity toconnect with people at a deeper
level.
You know it's hard to connectwith someone if you haven't
really been to the same placeemotionally or spiritually or
physically that they have, andso, by going and growing through
these experiences of life,we're becoming a greater version
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of ourselves, and that's why Isay these moments expand our
capacity.
So there's the externaladversities of life, and then
there's the internal adversitiesof life.
There's the self-inflicted ones, the fears, the doubts, the
limiting beliefs.
There's the I don't knows andthe what ifs.
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You know, there's all of theinternal shit that we have to
deal with at times and I think,in life, if we see them for what
they are, as an opportunity forus to lean in, embrace, grow
and ultimately, I think, thethings that we're most afraid of
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, that we're fearful of, thoseare the greatest areas of
opportunity for us, because onthe other side of that is a new
capacity.
And I tell you, guys, that'swhat I experienced in 2020, when
our sales fell 70% and we'regoing through this.
I called an all hands teammeeting and at the time, we had
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seven, eight people on the teamit wasn't a big company and I
said, guys, let's create a gameplan.
Like we have no idea what'sgoing to happen.
We got no idea what's going onin the world.
Right, there's a lot of peoplethat are scared.
We're all dealing withdifferent things, and it's our
responsibility as men to beleaders.
And what we can do right now, Ithink the best thing that we
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can do is lead ourselves first,to lead each other and to hold
each other accountable, and thenultimately find ways that we
can provide certainty andclarity and something of value
to the world in this moment.
I remember it just like it wasyesterday.
We were in our, in our littleoffice area, and I said in the
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greatest moments of uncertainty,which are typically in periods
of adversity, we have to bringcertainty to those moments and
ultimately, I think the only waythat we get through the most
challenging times is to findsome certainty in the
uncertainty, whether that iswithin a belief structure, maybe
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it's your faith, or maybe it'sthe team that you're working
with, your partner, your lovedones, your family, maybe it's
just the fact that you know youwill never fucking quit and you
will do whatever it fuckingtakes to figure it out.
For me, that has been what'scarried me and pulled me through
the majority of my adversities.
For me, the way that I'veovercome the majority of my
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adversities in life is by doingthree things, and the first
thing is saying this is my fault.
And that's really difficultwhen it's an external
circumstance because, again andthat's really difficult when
it's an external circumstanceBecause, again, none of those
things that I experienced in2020 were my fault.
They were all externaladversities.
But by saying, okay, I'm not incontrol of what happens outside
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of me, but I'm always incontrol of what happens inside
of me, the way that I react andrespond, that's my fault of me.
The way that I react andrespond, that's my fault and the
way that I show up in thismoment is going to be far more
important than anything that'shappening outside of me.
I think this is, if there's onelesson, if there's one, if
there's one thing that I couldpersuade you to believe today,
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it's this how you react andrespond is far more important.
It will have a much greaterimpact on your life than the
external circumstances andsituations Because, at the end
of the day, the only thing wecontrol is our reactions.
It's the meanings that we createabout why it's happening and
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what it means.
It's the stories we tell aboutthe circumstance and the
situation.
And often, you know, wheneverwe're experiencing a lot of
adversity, we typically askourselves one of two questions
why is this happening and whatdoes it mean?
And what does it mean and howyou answer those questions is
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ultimately going to determinehow this experience builds you
or breaks you.
Why is it happening and whatdoes it mean?
I think these are two of themost important questions we will
ever ask ourselves, especiallywhen we're facing difficult
times, and it's the meaning thatwe give it that determines the
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experience we have.
And then what are we going todo about it?
What does it mean?
That ultimately gives us?
It gives us the perspectivethat we take on how to approach
it.
So why is this happening?
I don't know why it's happening.
Typically, and asking thatquestion is typically it's
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worthless.
Yes, it's nice to know whythings are happening, but
oftentimes it's a worthlessquestion because we'll never
know.
It's unanswerable in many cases.
And so for me, whenever I thinkof why is this happening, my
default program says it'shappening so I can grow.
It's happening so I can learn.
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It's happening so that I canexpand my capacity.
If I don't know why something ishappening, if it's an external
circumstance and it's happeningoutside of me, yes, there is
times where we must askourselves why, and we need to
dissect and look at what we didwrong and how we contributed to
that factor.
And if your experience has yourcontribution to it, then you
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should ask why is this happening?
And you should dissect and tryto figure out what part you
played in creating thatexperience.
So that is important.
But if it's an external thinglike COVID, my father passing
away, heart attacks,circumstances that we just don't
have any impact on, asking whyin those moments, I think it's
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worthless in a lot of cases,because we're going to
potentially give ourselves areally disempowering meaning in
those moments.
And so for me, my default is tosay, okay, why is this
happening?
If I don't know what it is, godmust be giving this to me for a
reason.
I must need to expand mycapacity in this direction.
I must need to develop theskills to overcome this moment
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so that I can solve a greaterproblem or rise to a greater
occasion in the future.
In life, we have thisproblem-solution feedback loop,
where we have a problem, we havean adversity, and then we learn
how to overcome it and we breakthrough, and then at that next
level, we have a whole notherround of new problems, new
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challenges and new adversities,and so life in its most purest
form is us learning how to solveproblems and we solve one
problem and then the next one,and then the next one and you
just keep solving the problemsand the challenges, the setbacks
, the adversities of life overand over and over, until your
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expansion of your capacity growsto such a point that you become
someone who's unrecognizable.
You become someone who has thecapacity to live a life, to
create and to be and to dothings that you could have never
imagined when you got started.
And, candidly, this is what myexperience has been in my life
and in business.
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When I got started, I had noidea what to do and I just
invested into my capacity and Ileaned into the fears and the
doubts and I failed.
And I learned how to overcomethat failure and I did it again
and again and next thing, youknow, you look back a decade
later and your life and whatyou're living today is a dream
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in comparison to what it used tobe.
But that's only possible ifyou're in the game and the game
of life is one of problems andsolutions, of failures and
setbacks, and if we can justembrace that life is a series of
challenges and rather thanseeing those challenges is
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happening to us or life is madat us, or God hates us, or shit
is going wrong.
If we could just see it as aworthy opponent that is calling
us to grow, almost all of thefriction goes away.
I think, again, the biggestproblem we have is we think we
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shouldn't have them.
But if we can see our problemsas worthy opponents on our path
to becoming the man that we'recreated to be, then it's just
another step on the journey.
It's just another problem tosolve on the path of going where
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you're destined to go.
Whenever I'm facing a really bigadversity, I do three things.
The first thing I do is takeresponsibility for it and I say,
okay, how am I going to show upin this moment?
I'm going to own the meaning,the story and my personal
reaction and my experiences.
I'm going to take radicalresponsibility for this result.
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I'm entitled to nothing.
My life is my fault and I willtake responsibility for this
experience.
And once we take responsibilityfor it, we have the power to
overcome it.
And then the second step is toreally figure out what area of
your life needs to expand foryou to get through this moment
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right.
If you're facing a financialsetback and maybe you're
struggling right now, maybeyou're living paycheck to
paycheck and you don't know howyou're going to pay off some
bills or really get out of thatstress cycle of financial
despair and insecurity.
The truth is, that moment isyour fault.
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Being in that position is yourfault.
Now, maybe you didn't havesomeone to help teach you the
skills, or you didn't know whatyou didn't know, and so you have
to forgive yourself for notknowing what you didn't know.
But then you have to takeresponsibility for not knowing
what you didn't know, and thenyou have to go acquire some
knowledge.
You have to figure out how tobridge that gap from where you
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are to where you want to go, andall of the growth that we will
experience in life typically isfound in one of three areas.
Either we need to expand ourskills.
We need to develop some newskills, some new knowledge, some
new expertise.
We need to develop some newcharacter traits.
Right, our life, our habits,our routines, our rituals are a
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result of our character traits.
If you're not a verydisciplined person and you need
to be very disciplined to createthe results that you want then
you have to expand your capacityin your character traits and
become more disciplined.
So you got to increase yourskills, you got to figure out
what you need to learn.
Then you need to develop thecharacter traits required.
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That type of person would haveto get to the next level.
And then, finally, you've gotto get, you've got to develop a
belief system that tells youwhatever it is that you want is
possible.
So, using that financial exampleagain, right, the adversity
that you might be facing isfinancial difficulty.
You're living paycheck topaycheck.
(30:40):
You've got your credit carddebts piling up and you're just
not sure how to figure it out,how to make it through.
Well, you need to develop someskills around financial
intelligence.
You need to develop somecharacter traits that say you're
the type of person that figuresthis out, you're the type of
person that has the disciplineand the intelligence, you're
dedicated to figuring out how toovercome this obstacle.
(31:01):
And then you have to developthe belief system that says I'm
freaking, great with money, I'mintelligent with my finances,
I'm learning and growing how tobecome financially independent,
financially successful, and thenyou put those three things into
action and you're going toovercome that level of adversity
.
And then the next level ofadversity comes and the next one
(31:22):
, but ultimately, I think, allof our ability to overcome the
failures, the challenges and thetrials of life starts with our
mindset, with our psychology.
I believe that the perspectivewe take on life is going to
determine the experience we haveof life, and if we can both
(31:45):
agree that we're always going tohave adversity, then our
perspective must be we are thetype of people that embrace the
adversity, that we work andstrive and pursue solutions,
solutions and we grow throughthe pain and failure, because on
the other side of thatadversity is growth and is a
(32:08):
greater capacity for us to liveand serve and create the life
that we want.
All right, so I want to endwith two frameworks that I've
used in my life and I want youto use in your life, because
these frameworks will give youthe outlook or the perspective
that you need to overcome any ofyour adversity and any of the
(32:30):
obstacles or failures that youfeel that you experience.
Okay, so the first one isyou've got to see your failures,
your setbacks, your challengesas a worthy opponent, something
that is calling you to grow and,I believe, to be a leader.
There's three things we must doLeaders must see the situation
(32:51):
as it is, but not worse than itis If you compound the negative
experience and pile on, it'sgoing to make it worse than it
actually is.
And too often, right when itrains, it pours.
We've heard that saying.
And it's because people pile on, it's because they see it worse
(33:12):
than it is.
So if you're going to overcomeadversity, if you're going to
become a true leader, if you'regoing to create an incredible
life, a life on your terms, youhave to see adversity as a
worthy opponent.
And then you have to see everychallenge as it is, but not
worse than it is.
And then from there, you haveto figure out a way to see it
(33:32):
better than it is.
You've got to bring some levelof certainty and clarity to that
moment and say you know whatthis is happening for me.
I'm going to see this moment asan opportunity for me to grow,
and on the other side of this,I'm going to have this and this
is going to happen.
I'm going to do that and that'sgoing to give me the capacity
to get to the next level.
You have to see it better thanit is.
And then the third thing thatyou've got to do is you've got
(33:54):
to go, take massive action tomake it happen.
You've got to work your ass off.
You've got to embrace thefailure, you've got to lean into
it.
You've got to understand thatthe pain and the struggle is
part of the process, but it'sthat pain and struggle, that
failure, that is developing yourstrength.
I told you guys what happened in2020.
(34:15):
And I can tell you guys thatwhen I worked through all of
that, when the company got backgoing and we got through the
emotional pain, trauma, weight,whatever you want to call it of
that moment, there was a periodin July where we had not only
overcome that challenge, but ourcompany had taken off and we
were growing and things weregoing better than they had ever
(34:38):
gone before.
I had this moment of reflectionand I just thought God, I'm
fucking unstoppable if I canmake it through this, if I can
figure this out.
There is nothing that I cannotendure, overcome and create.
I had a profound sense ofpurpose in my life and, more
(34:59):
than that, I had a confidenceand a strength that I had never
had before.
And it took losing my father.
It took all of that pain andchallenge, all of that
heartbreak and trauma and COVIDand all the fuckery, all that.
But on the other side of it, byseeing it as it is, but not
(35:19):
seeing it worse than it is, byseeing it better than it can be
and by going out and takingmassive fucking action.
On the other side of that was anewfound strength that I've
never experienced before, andthat strength is what I've built
this next chapter of my life on, and it's largely why I'm here
in front of you guys todaysharing these stories.
So that's the first framework.
(35:40):
If you want to be a leader, youhave to see it as it is, not
worse than it is.
You have to see it better thanit is, and then you have to go
make it happen.
And the final one is what Iconsider the universal formula
of success and overcoming anyand all obstacles, and it's very
simply you have to take radicalresponsibility for that moment.
Whatever that failure is,whatever that adversity is, you
(36:05):
have to take radicalresponsibility for that moment.
Whatever that failure is,whatever that adversity is, you
have to take radicalresponsibility for it, because
that gives you the power tochange it From there.
You have to understand thatthat moment is happening because
there is some skill orcharacter, trait or belief that
you don't have, and you have tocommit to constant and never
ending improvement and by alwaysworking on growing and evolving
and expanding our capacity,we're going to have the
opportunity to continue to keepmoving.
(36:26):
And then from there, you justhave to never fucking quit and,
if you can take responsibilityfor it, commit to constant and
never ending improvement andgrowing through it and never
fucking quit.
You can create the life thatyou want.
(36:47):
You can overcome all of theadversity, endure all of the
struggles and turn your failuresinto massive success, and
that's my prayer for you.
That's why I started thispodcast and that's why I'm here
today, because I want all of usto fucking win.
Life is much better when we'rewinning and growing and learning
together.
I believe that the road tosuccess is paved with failure,
(37:09):
and we will always learn more inour moments of failure and
struggle than we will in ourmoments of success.
It's up to us to lean into them, embrace them and to grow
through them, and if you can dothat, then I think you've got
this thing figured out.
All right, guys, I appreciateyou tuning in with me today and
hanging out.
I believe the greatest giftthat we have is the gift of each
(37:33):
other, and you've given me someof your time and attention
today and for that I'm verygrateful.
I hope this message connectedwith you.
If you found value in it, theonly thing that I would ask is
to please share it with someonethat maybe is going through
something, maybe someone that isfacing some adversity, and you
think this message might bemeaningful to them.
But I appreciate you guys.
Stay tuned for the next episode.
(37:53):
We'll talk soon.
Overcome it.
(00:00):
Recently, I was at a mastermind.
I was asked to speak and I wasdoing a Q&A at the end of my
talk and one of the participantsasked me you know, how do you
overcome some of your biggestbusiness failures?
How did you overcome thatadversity and keep going?
Adversity and challenges andfailure and struggles is
(00:29):
something that is worthy ofdiscussion.
I think we should talk about ita lot more than we do, because
oftentimes it's the fear offailure, the fear of the
adversity, the challenges thathold us back, and simply not
facing them, not addressing them, not leaning into them,
ultimately is one of the biggestthings that causes us to not
achieve the goals where webelieve our life is our fault.
(00:52):
My name is Mink and I startedthis show because I've spent the
(01:18):
last 20 years running headfirstinto failure after failure, and
I've learned how to turn myfailures into lessons, and I've
used those lessons to createlife on my terms.
I went from broke and bankruptwith six figures in debt to
starting multiple companies thathave generated over $50 million
in sales, and I want to shareeverything I've learned on my
(01:39):
journey to help inspire you onyours.
Today, we're going to talkabout adversity and how to
overcome it.
Recently I was at a mastermind.
I was asked to speak and I wasdoing a Q&A at the end of my
talk and one of the participantsasked me you know, how do you
overcome some of your biggestbusiness failures?
How did you overcome thatadversity and keep going?
(02:01):
And, to be honest with you guys, I think this topic of
adversity and challenges andfailure and struggles is
something that is worthy ofdiscussion.
I think we should talk about ita lot more than we do, because
oftentimes it's the fear offailure, the fear of the
adversity, the challenges thathold us back and simply not
(02:25):
facing them, not addressing them, not leaning into them,
ultimately is one of the biggestthings that causes us to not
achieve the goals, the life, thedreams that we have.
In a previous episode I talkedabout the greatest competition
we'll ever have is withourselves, and oftentimes the
(02:46):
greatest competition we'll everhave is with ourselves, and
oftentimes that competitionexists between where you are
today and where you want to be,and in the middle of that is the
adversity, is the unknown, isthe uncertainty.
It's the shit that you don'tknow.
That you don't know, it's thefailure that you're guaranteed
to experience on the path and Ithink the only reason why I've
been able to overcome myfailures from.
(03:09):
You know, I went into debt sixfigures, had to file bankruptcy,
made a couple million bucks inmy next business venture, had a
lot of success.
Then I lost all of it and thenI went in six figures in debt
again, starting live bearded in.
In the beginning, I puteverything on credit card.
I did it, took out a personalloan and at one point in time, I
had another hundred plusthousand dollars in debt and I
(03:31):
wasn't sure if I was going to beable to turn it around.
And I think the one thing thatevery winner has in common is
they've learned how to fail.
In fact, I would, you know, Iwould suggest that the people
that have won the most have doneso because they've also failed
(03:53):
more than everyone else.
You know, whether you thinkabout a sports analogy, a
business analogy?
I was literally just watchingthis video the other day and it
was Elon Musk and he was talkingabout the creation and the
development of Tesla and SpaceXand everything that happened.
And he said there was a momentin 2008 when the world economies
(04:14):
were collapsing and he goes Iwas out of money.
He made a billion plus dollarson PayPal and he invested all of
it into Tesla and SpaceX andhis ventures.
And he said it was ChristmasEve, 2008.
And in the last hour of thelast day, I secured a round of
(04:34):
funding that would have allowedTesla to continue to keep going.
But if I didn't get that roundof funding, he goes.
I know with absolute certaintyTesla would have went bankrupt
and SpaceX would have neverexisted.
And so here you have thewealthiest man in the world
saying that literally all of hisfortune, all of his success
(04:55):
over the last 15 years came downto one moment, one decision in
time, one action that took placein time, one action that took
place.
And it was such a reminder tome that the people that win the
most are on the brink of failureand have failed more often than
(05:15):
anyone else.
I have a quote on my wall andit says the road to success is
paved with failure, and one ofthe things that I believe is
success and failure are twosides of the same coin, and if
you look at like, baseball is agreat analogy.
Um, to go to the hall of fame,you hit the ball.
(05:36):
Three out of every 10 times atbat, you got to hit the ball 300
.
And that means you're failingseven out of 10 times.
This is just this universalprinciple in life that we're
going to fail way more than weever succeed.
It's in our failures, in ouradversity, that we actually
(05:57):
develop the skills, the musclesand the capacity to win.
And so often we hold ourselvesback from ever getting started
because we have failed and wedon't know how to deal with it,
or we're afraid of the adversityand the challenges and the
unknown, and so we never getstarted.
And today, what I want to do isshare with you how I've
(06:18):
overcome some adversity in mylife, maybe share a story with
you and talk about how all of uscan start to see adversity not
as a negative but as a positive.
You know, I think if we can seeadversity is happening for us
as an opportunity for us to grow, as a uh it's exposing where
(06:41):
we're weak or where we need tolean into, and we can see this
challenges in the struggle oflife as a worthy opponent, then
you give yourself theopportunity to overcome and
endure anything that comes yourway.
And if there's one thing Ithink we could all agree life is
fucking hard.
Things are going to break.
(07:02):
Stuff is going to go wrong.
We're going to we Stuff isgoing to go wrong, we're going
to.
We're going to struggle attimes, and I think we have.
We get a decision.
We have a decision in everymoment to make, and that
decision is is this happening tome, am I going to be a victim
of this moment, of thischallenge, of this struggle, or
is it happening for me and it'sgiven to me by my creator so I
(07:26):
can grow, so I can evolve, so Ican expand my capacity?
A couple of weeks ago I had aconversation with a good buddy
of mine named Dave Skatchard,and if you guys listen to the
podcast, if you haven't listenedto that episode, I highly
recommend it.
But Dave was talking about howyou know, when we get started,
our capacity is only so big,right, but then we experience
(07:47):
some type of failure or sometype of loss or some type of
setback in an area of our life,and in order to overcome that
setback or right that wrong, wehave to get better in that area
of our life.
And so, you know, maybe it's inour relationships, you know,
maybe we've had a few failedrelationships and we have to
learn how to become a betterpartner and a better you know
(08:10):
participant in our relationships.
We need to maybe fix and evolveor grow some aspects of
ourselves so that we are able toenjoy that partnership or in
business right, I have failedover and over in business, and
every time I failed it wasbecause I was missing a skill or
a character trait or a belief,and the only way that I was able
(08:30):
to expand past that point wasto invest into my skills, into
my character traits, into mybeliefs, to develop my capacity
to create more, to be more, todo more.
And so I think today, as we talkabout adversity, the very most
important lesson that I think Ican share with you guys is
(08:50):
adversity is coming.
There is a storm on the horizon.
We don't, we don't wish for it,we don't want it to happen, but
we anticipate it's going to,because the truth of life is
it's going to fucking happen,and the best thing that we can
do is understand that tough dayswill come.
And it's not the tough daysthat are the problem, it's
(09:12):
viewing them as a problem.
That's the issue.
I heard uh, you guys know Ilove Tony Robbins and he said
the greatest problem you have isyou think you shouldn't have
them, but problems are given tous so we can grow, so we can
evolve, so we can expand ourcapacity.
And I can tell you guys,probably a moment in my life
(09:34):
where I felt my capacity expandmaybe more than any other time
was in 2020, was during COVID.
I think we all have our ownexperience of COVID and what
that meant for us and maybe youlost someone.
My experience of COVID wasintense, and not actually
(09:54):
because of the virus, butbecause of a whole series of
events that were taking placebefore that.
Right in the beginning ofFebruary, I took a trip down to
Hawaii.
I love Maui.
I'm going down there next weekactually, so we're going to do
some interviews and somepodcasts on location.
But in like the beginning ofFebruary 2020, I was in.
I was in Maui and I reconnectedwith a friend that was down
(10:16):
there and we were watching thesunset and we were chatting and
she shared with me that sheuncovered she had a brain tumor
and it was a very aggressiveform of cancer and that the
doctors were going to have toperform brain surgery and they
didn't know if she was going tomake it and if she did make it,
(10:37):
there was a likelihood that theywouldn't be able to get all of
the tumor because it was sorapidly expanding and she was
going to lose all of her motorfunction.
And I just remember, while thisdidn't have anything to do with
me, I just remember feeling somuch, you know, you know so much
compassion and empathy for myfriend in this moment and
thinking, damn, you know, lifeis so short and in a moment,
(11:00):
anything can happen to us, andin a moment, anything can happen
to us.
We need to just really try tomaximize every day.
So this is February 2020.
On that trip, that very sametrip, a few days later, my mom
called me and said that mystepfather had just had a
massive heart attack.
My mom was scared, she was likereally worried that he wasn't
going to make it and, um, youknow, she, she was kind of
(11:23):
telling me what was going on andultimately, I was trying to be
there to support her as much aspossible.
But I was in Hawaii, she wasback in Montana and so, you know
, we were staying in touch, butI could really tell that she was
really, really struggling andreally scared, and so I was
feeling some of that emotion formy mom as well.
When I got back to Arizonaabout a week later and my mom
(11:44):
called me again and said Anthony, he had another heart attack.
This one was like a quadruplebypass.
They're going to have to doopen heart surgery.
They're going to have toreplace his arteries.
Now, again, this wasn'timpacting me personally like my
physical body, but just to seemy mom that scared and go
through that, you know, my heartwas going out to her and I was
trying to think about how Icould support her and what I
(12:06):
could do.
Meanwhile I was back in Arizonarunning the company and getting
everything going and we were onset shooting a commercial when
one of our employees, justin,who is a family member of ours,
he's been with us for so manyyears and he's my business
partner's biological brother hada heart attack on set, in front
(12:27):
of all of our employees and hewe had to call the ambulance.
He got in the ambulance, he wasrushed to the hospital.
He flatlined on his way to thehospital.
My business partner, obviously,spence.
He was a wreck.
So I'm trying to support him,I'm trying to hold down the
company and I'm thinking tomyself what the fuck is going on
.
First, a friend.
A friend has a brain tumor,then my stepfather has two heart
(12:49):
attacks in a week.
Now one of my employees, infront of my eyes, has a heart
attack.
And I'm just thinking, wow,this is.
I get kind of I get choked upthinking about it.
It's just there's a lot goingon here.
Now it was middle of Februaryand then March 3rd my sister
called me and said Anthony, uh,dad is in a coma, she's like.
(13:14):
I went to his house to check onhim and he was laying lifeless
on the floor.
I called the emergency.
The ambulance is on the way,but, uh, I'll keep you updated.
So now I'm like friend,stepfather Justin, and now my
father is in a coma.
And so, to make a long storyshort, I go to Oregon the next
(13:34):
day.
I get to the hospital and thedoctor pulls me aside and he
says Anthony, your father hassevere liver failure and you
guys know he drank a lot in hislife and it finally caught up to
him and his liver had failedand his body had become so toxic
, due to the liver not working,that he went into a coma.
(13:56):
And at first the doctor tellsme you know, we think that we're
going to be able to revive himor we've got him on a bunch of
meds.
We're going to try to get himback into consciousness and get
him awake.
And shortly thereafter that,they they called me in and they
said Anthony, everything haschanged and we don't think he's
going to make it and he's on asuperhuman dose of drugs.
(14:20):
Um, and, as his next of kin, weneed to ask you, you need to
make a decision.
Do you want to try to keep himon life support and we can do
everything that we can?
Or, if you want, we can makethe decision, or you can make
the decision to take him offlife support and say your
(14:41):
goodbyes.
Now there's a whole series ofevents that lead up to this
moment and in my heart, after hehad wanted to kill himself and
told me he was going to killhimself and all the stuff, I
knew in my heart that it was aprivilege to make that decision
for him, and so I made thedecision to take him off life
support and to be in the roomand hold his hand while he
(15:03):
passed away.
Support and to be in the roomand hold his hand while he
passed away.
And I just remember theintensity of that moment, the
experience, the emotion, thepain, the sadness, the regret.
I remember in that momentfeeling so much like I wish I
would have done.
I wish I would have loved moreand done more and tried Like I
just had all this wave ofemotion.
(15:23):
This is March 4th 2020.
I get back to Arizona 10 dayslater.
After taking care of his affairsand getting him cremated, going
through that whole process, Icome into the office on like
March 12th and I tell my guyshey, you know, I want to take a
little bit of time off.
(15:43):
I want to process this.
I think I'm going to maybe goon a trip somewhere, maybe be
gone for a couple weeks.
And everyone on the team islike, of course, no problem, but
now I'm conflicted because wegot Justin is in the hospital
still, my dad passed away, mybusiness partner, like there's
all this fucking chaos, and thenMarch 15th hits and the world
shuts down and our business,like our sales, drop 70%
(16:09):
overnight.
And I was like, well, now Ican't go anywhere.
Now my business is on the brinkof collapse.
I can't.
I've got all this, all thesepeople and salaries and
infrastructure, and if salesdon't turn around, like what am
I going to do?
I'm not going to be able to paythe bills.
The business, in 2020, wasreally just on the cusp of
(16:30):
profitability and getting goingand I remember just sitting
there thinking how the fuck am Igoing to find the courage and
the strength to get through allof this?
I've got a friend with cancer,my stepfather's you know two
heart attacks, my one of myemployees and my business
partner's brothers in thehospital on life support with a
(16:51):
heart attack, needing to getopen heart surgery.
My dad passes away now COVID,and then the business falls 60,
70%.
Man, god must have a sense ofhumor.
And in that moment I justrealized, you know what, like, I
don't know how we're going toget through this.
I don't know what we're goingto do, but the only thing I can
(17:13):
do is show up every day and leanin and embrace this.
I'm going to strive to be thebest that I can be in this
moment and you know, I thinkoftentimes there's two types of
adversity in life.
There is life created adversity.
There's external situations andcircumstances and things that
(17:33):
are happening outside of ourcontrol.
And in 2020, for me, all ofthat that I just explained to
you is outside of my control andI'm sure you have your own
story.
I'm sure you have your ownexperiences of what happened in
that period of your life oranother period when maybe you
lost someone or went through atragic event.
There's external adversity andI think the best thing that we
(17:58):
can do in those moments isunderstand that life is
happening for us, that there isa plan, that our creator has
given this to us for a purposeand, although we might not know
what it is and it might hurt andit might be, one of the most
painful things that we growthrough might be one of the most
painful things that we growthrough.
That we grow through On theother side of that is a greater
(18:21):
strength, is a greater capacity,and I've said this before, but
one of my favorite authors isMichael Singer.
He wrote the SurrenderExperiment, the Untethered Soul,
and one of the things that hesays that really changed my life
is this he said everyexperience of life, all of the
good and all of the bad, makesus a more complete version of
(18:46):
ourselves.
It gives us the capacity toconnect with people at a deeper
level.
You know it's hard to connectwith someone if you haven't
really been to the same placeemotionally or spiritually or
physically that they have, andso, by going and growing through
these experiences of life,we're becoming a greater version
(19:07):
of ourselves, and that's why Isay these moments expand our
capacity.
So there's the externaladversities of life, and then
there's the internal adversitiesof life.
There's the self-inflicted ones, the fears, the doubts, the
limiting beliefs.
There's the I don't knows andthe what ifs.
(19:28):
You know, there's all of theinternal shit that we have to
deal with at times and I think,in life, if we see them for what
they are, as an opportunity forus to lean in, embrace, grow
and ultimately, I think, thethings that we're most afraid of
(19:51):
, that we're fearful of, thoseare the greatest areas of
opportunity for us, because onthe other side of that is a new
capacity.
And I tell you, guys, that'swhat I experienced in 2020, when
our sales fell 70% and we'regoing through this.
I called an all hands teammeeting and at the time, we had
(20:15):
seven, eight people on the teamit wasn't a big company and I
said, guys, let's create a gameplan.
Like we have no idea what'sgoing to happen.
We got no idea what's going onin the world.
Right, there's a lot of peoplethat are scared.
We're all dealing withdifferent things, and it's our
responsibility as men to beleaders.
And what we can do right now, Ithink the best thing that we
(20:38):
can do is lead ourselves first,to lead each other and to hold
each other accountable, and thenultimately find ways that we
can provide certainty andclarity and something of value
to the world in this moment.
I remember it just like it wasyesterday.
We were in our, in our littleoffice area, and I said in the
(20:59):
greatest moments of uncertainty,which are typically in periods
of adversity, we have to bringcertainty to those moments and
ultimately, I think the only waythat we get through the most
challenging times is to findsome certainty in the
uncertainty, whether that iswithin a belief structure, maybe
(21:21):
it's your faith, or maybe it'sthe team that you're working
with, your partner, your lovedones, your family, maybe it's
just the fact that you know youwill never fucking quit and you
will do whatever it fuckingtakes to figure it out.
For me, that has been what'scarried me and pulled me through
the majority of my adversities.
For me, the way that I'veovercome the majority of my
(21:45):
adversities in life is by doingthree things, and the first
thing is saying this is my fault.
And that's really difficultwhen it's an external
circumstance because, again andthat's really difficult when
it's an external circumstanceBecause, again, none of those
things that I experienced in2020 were my fault.
They were all externaladversities.
But by saying, okay, I'm not incontrol of what happens outside
(22:10):
of me, but I'm always incontrol of what happens inside
of me, the way that I react andrespond, that's my fault of me.
The way that I react andrespond, that's my fault and the
way that I show up in thismoment is going to be far more
important than anything that'shappening outside of me.
I think this is, if there's onelesson, if there's one, if
there's one thing that I couldpersuade you to believe today,
(22:32):
it's this how you react andrespond is far more important.
It will have a much greaterimpact on your life than the
external circumstances andsituations Because, at the end
of the day, the only thing wecontrol is our reactions.
It's the meanings that we createabout why it's happening and
(22:54):
what it means.
It's the stories we tell aboutthe circumstance and the
situation.
And often, you know, wheneverwe're experiencing a lot of
adversity, we typically askourselves one of two questions
why is this happening and whatdoes it mean?
And what does it mean and howyou answer those questions is
(23:19):
ultimately going to determinehow this experience builds you
or breaks you.
Why is it happening and whatdoes it mean?
I think these are two of themost important questions we will
ever ask ourselves, especiallywhen we're facing difficult
times, and it's the meaning thatwe give it that determines the
(23:40):
experience we have.
And then what are we going todo about it?
What does it mean?
That ultimately gives us?
It gives us the perspectivethat we take on how to approach
it.
So why is this happening?
I don't know why it's happening.
Typically, and asking thatquestion is typically it's
(24:05):
worthless.
Yes, it's nice to know whythings are happening, but
oftentimes it's a worthlessquestion because we'll never
know.
It's unanswerable in many cases.
And so for me, whenever I thinkof why is this happening, my
default program says it'shappening so I can grow.
It's happening so I can learn.
(24:25):
It's happening so that I canexpand my capacity.
If I don't know why something ishappening, if it's an external
circumstance and it's happeningoutside of me, yes, there is
times where we must askourselves why, and we need to
dissect and look at what we didwrong and how we contributed to
that factor.
And if your experience has yourcontribution to it, then you
(24:51):
should ask why is this happening?
And you should dissect and tryto figure out what part you
played in creating thatexperience.
So that is important.
But if it's an external thinglike COVID, my father passing
away, heart attacks,circumstances that we just don't
have any impact on, asking whyin those moments, I think it's
(25:15):
worthless in a lot of cases,because we're going to
potentially give ourselves areally disempowering meaning in
those moments.
And so for me, my default is tosay, okay, why is this
happening?
If I don't know what it is, godmust be giving this to me for a
reason.
I must need to expand mycapacity in this direction.
I must need to develop theskills to overcome this moment
(25:40):
so that I can solve a greaterproblem or rise to a greater
occasion in the future.
In life, we have thisproblem-solution feedback loop,
where we have a problem, we havean adversity, and then we learn
how to overcome it and we breakthrough, and then at that next
level, we have a whole notherround of new problems, new
(26:03):
challenges and new adversities,and so life in its most purest
form is us learning how to solveproblems and we solve one
problem and then the next one,and then the next one and you
just keep solving the problemsand the challenges, the setbacks
, the adversities of life overand over and over, until your
(26:24):
expansion of your capacity growsto such a point that you become
someone who's unrecognizable.
You become someone who has thecapacity to live a life, to
create and to be and to dothings that you could have never
imagined when you got started.
And, candidly, this is what myexperience has been in my life
and in business.
(26:45):
When I got started, I had noidea what to do and I just
invested into my capacity and Ileaned into the fears and the
doubts and I failed.
And I learned how to overcomethat failure and I did it again
and again and next thing, youknow, you look back a decade
later and your life and whatyou're living today is a dream
(27:06):
in comparison to what it used tobe.
But that's only possible ifyou're in the game and the game
of life is one of problems andsolutions, of failures and
setbacks, and if we can justembrace that life is a series of
challenges and rather thanseeing those challenges is
(27:27):
happening to us or life is madat us, or God hates us, or shit
is going wrong.
If we could just see it as aworthy opponent that is calling
us to grow, almost all of thefriction goes away.
I think, again, the biggestproblem we have is we think we
(27:51):
shouldn't have them.
But if we can see our problemsas worthy opponents on our path
to becoming the man that we'recreated to be, then it's just
another step on the journey.
It's just another problem tosolve on the path of going where
(28:12):
you're destined to go.
Whenever I'm facing a really bigadversity, I do three things.
The first thing I do is takeresponsibility for it and I say,
okay, how am I going to show upin this moment?
I'm going to own the meaning,the story and my personal
reaction and my experiences.
I'm going to take radicalresponsibility for this result.
(28:34):
I'm entitled to nothing.
My life is my fault and I willtake responsibility for this
experience.
And once we take responsibilityfor it, we have the power to
overcome it.
And then the second step is toreally figure out what area of
your life needs to expand foryou to get through this moment
(28:56):
right.
If you're facing a financialsetback and maybe you're
struggling right now, maybeyou're living paycheck to
paycheck and you don't know howyou're going to pay off some
bills or really get out of thatstress cycle of financial
despair and insecurity.
The truth is, that moment isyour fault.
(29:17):
Being in that position is yourfault.
Now, maybe you didn't havesomeone to help teach you the
skills, or you didn't know whatyou didn't know, and so you have
to forgive yourself for notknowing what you didn't know.
But then you have to takeresponsibility for not knowing
what you didn't know, and thenyou have to go acquire some
knowledge.
You have to figure out how tobridge that gap from where you
(29:38):
are to where you want to go, andall of the growth that we will
experience in life typically isfound in one of three areas.
Either we need to expand ourskills.
We need to develop some newskills, some new knowledge, some
new expertise.
We need to develop some newcharacter traits.
Right, our life, our habits,our routines, our rituals are a
(29:59):
result of our character traits.
If you're not a verydisciplined person and you need
to be very disciplined to createthe results that you want then
you have to expand your capacityin your character traits and
become more disciplined.
So you got to increase yourskills, you got to figure out
what you need to learn.
Then you need to develop thecharacter traits required.
(30:20):
That type of person would haveto get to the next level.
And then, finally, you've gotto get, you've got to develop a
belief system that tells youwhatever it is that you want is
possible.
So, using that financial exampleagain, right, the adversity
that you might be facing isfinancial difficulty.
You're living paycheck topaycheck.
(30:40):
You've got your credit carddebts piling up and you're just
not sure how to figure it out,how to make it through.
Well, you need to develop someskills around financial
intelligence.
You need to develop somecharacter traits that say you're
the type of person that figuresthis out, you're the type of
person that has the disciplineand the intelligence, you're
dedicated to figuring out how toovercome this obstacle.
(31:01):
And then you have to developthe belief system that says I'm
freaking, great with money, I'mintelligent with my finances,
I'm learning and growing how tobecome financially independent,
financially successful, and thenyou put those three things into
action and you're going toovercome that level of adversity
.
And then the next level ofadversity comes and the next one
(31:22):
, but ultimately, I think, allof our ability to overcome the
failures, the challenges and thetrials of life starts with our
mindset, with our psychology.
I believe that the perspectivewe take on life is going to
determine the experience we haveof life, and if we can both
(31:45):
agree that we're always going tohave adversity, then our
perspective must be we are thetype of people that embrace the
adversity, that we work andstrive and pursue solutions,
solutions and we grow throughthe pain and failure, because on
the other side of thatadversity is growth and is a
(32:08):
greater capacity for us to liveand serve and create the life
that we want.
All right, so I want to endwith two frameworks that I've
used in my life and I want youto use in your life, because
these frameworks will give youthe outlook or the perspective
that you need to overcome any ofyour adversity and any of the
(32:30):
obstacles or failures that youfeel that you experience.
Okay, so the first one isyou've got to see your failures,
your setbacks, your challengesas a worthy opponent, something
that is calling you to grow and,I believe, to be a leader.
There's three things we must doLeaders must see the situation
(32:51):
as it is, but not worse than itis If you compound the negative
experience and pile on, it'sgoing to make it worse than it
actually is.
And too often, right when itrains, it pours.
We've heard that saying.
And it's because people pile on, it's because they see it worse
(33:12):
than it is.
So if you're going to overcomeadversity, if you're going to
become a true leader, if you'regoing to create an incredible
life, a life on your terms, youhave to see adversity as a
worthy opponent.
And then you have to see everychallenge as it is, but not
worse than it is.
And then from there, you haveto figure out a way to see it
(33:32):
better than it is.
You've got to bring some levelof certainty and clarity to that
moment and say you know whatthis is happening for me.
I'm going to see this moment asan opportunity for me to grow,
and on the other side of this,I'm going to have this and this
is going to happen.
I'm going to do that and that'sgoing to give me the capacity
to get to the next level.
You have to see it better thanit is.
And then the third thing thatyou've got to do is you've got
(33:54):
to go, take massive action tomake it happen.
You've got to work your ass off.
You've got to embrace thefailure, you've got to lean into
it.
You've got to understand thatthe pain and the struggle is
part of the process, but it'sthat pain and struggle, that
failure, that is developing yourstrength.
I told you guys what happened in2020.
(34:15):
And I can tell you guys thatwhen I worked through all of
that, when the company got backgoing and we got through the
emotional pain, trauma, weight,whatever you want to call it of
that moment, there was a periodin July where we had not only
overcome that challenge, but ourcompany had taken off and we
were growing and things weregoing better than they had ever
(34:38):
gone before.
I had this moment of reflectionand I just thought God, I'm
fucking unstoppable if I canmake it through this, if I can
figure this out.
There is nothing that I cannotendure, overcome and create.
I had a profound sense ofpurpose in my life and, more
(34:59):
than that, I had a confidenceand a strength that I had never
had before.
And it took losing my father.
It took all of that pain andchallenge, all of that
heartbreak and trauma and COVIDand all the fuckery, all that.
But on the other side of it, byseeing it as it is, but not
(35:19):
seeing it worse than it is, byseeing it better than it can be
and by going out and takingmassive fucking action.
On the other side of that was anewfound strength that I've
never experienced before, andthat strength is what I've built
this next chapter of my life on, and it's largely why I'm here
in front of you guys todaysharing these stories.
So that's the first framework.
(35:40):
If you want to be a leader, youhave to see it as it is, not
worse than it is.
You have to see it better thanit is, and then you have to go
make it happen.
And the final one is what Iconsider the universal formula
of success and overcoming anyand all obstacles, and it's very
simply you have to take radicalresponsibility for that moment.
Whatever that failure is,whatever that adversity is, you
(36:05):
have to take radicalresponsibility for that moment.
Whatever that failure is,whatever that adversity is, you
have to take radicalresponsibility for it, because
that gives you the power tochange it From there.
You have to understand thatthat moment is happening because
there is some skill orcharacter, trait or belief that
you don't have, and you have tocommit to constant and never
ending improvement and by alwaysworking on growing and evolving
and expanding our capacity,we're going to have the
opportunity to continue to keepmoving.
(36:26):
And then from there, you justhave to never fucking quit and,
if you can take responsibilityfor it, commit to constant and
never ending improvement andgrowing through it and never
fucking quit.
You can create the life thatyou want.
(36:47):
You can overcome all of theadversity, endure all of the
struggles and turn your failuresinto massive success, and
that's my prayer for you.
That's why I started thispodcast and that's why I'm here
today, because I want all of usto fucking win.
Life is much better when we'rewinning and growing and learning
together.
I believe that the road tosuccess is paved with failure,
(37:09):
and we will always learn more inour moments of failure and
struggle than we will in ourmoments of success.
It's up to us to lean into them, embrace them and to grow
through them, and if you can dothat, then I think you've got
this thing figured out.
All right, guys, I appreciateyou tuning in with me today and
hanging out.
I believe the greatest giftthat we have is the gift of each
(37:33):
other, and you've given me someof your time and attention
today and for that I'm verygrateful.
I hope this message connectedwith you.
If you found value in it, theonly thing that I would ask is
to please share it with someonethat maybe is going through
something, maybe someone that isfacing some adversity, and you
think this message might bemeaningful to them.
But I appreciate you guys.
Stay tuned for the next episode.
(37:53):
We'll talk soon.
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