May 15, 2024 • 22 mins
In this episode, we dive deep into the concept of self-competition and how it shapes our journey towards growth and success. Inspired by a recent business conference, we explore the idea that our greatest opponent is often ourselves. From battling fears and doubts to striving for personal and professional excellence, we discuss how this internal competition influences our goals and aspirations. Join me as I share personal insights and experiences, including the challenges faced as a leader and the lessons learned along the way. This episode is a candid reflection on embracing competition with oneself to unlock new levels of growth and achievement.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
And I think, ultimately, if we can look at
life more as a competition right, for me at least, this makes
sense.
Maybe you think this is crazy,maybe this sounds ridiculous, I
don't know, but for me I'm acompetitive person, and if
you're a competitive person too,then I think this might
resonate with you.
If we can think about life as acompetition of me versus me, you
(00:25):
versus you, and ultimately,every day we wake up, we're in
competition with ourselves.
We're in competition to getbetter, to learn, to grow, to
evolve, to excel.
Ultimately, that competitionwith a higher version of
ourselves is going to pull usforward, is going to grow us and
(00:45):
is going to allow us to evolveand get to the next level.
I don't need no permission.
I'm a man on a mission.
(01:08):
Welcome to, entitled to Nothingwhere we believe our life is
our fault.
My name is Mink and I startedthis show because I've spent the
last 20 years of my liferunning headfirst into failure
after failure, and I've learnedhow to turn my failures into
lessons, and I've used thoselessons to create life on my
(01:28):
terms.
And what I want to do with thisshow is share everything I've
learned on my journey to helpinspire you on yours.
So a week I was at a businessconference and one of the
speakers said the greatestcompetition you have is with
yourself.
You are your greatest opponent.
It's you versus you.
And I want to talk about thiswith you guys today, because I
(01:50):
have spent a lot of timethinking about this and I know I
have been in competition withmyself for a long time and I
think it's not always easy, butit's always necessary.
You know, we're in competitionwith our fears and our doubts.
We're in competition with whatwe believe is possible.
(02:12):
We're in competition with thegoals that we have for ourselves
.
And there is this naturaltension that comes up in life,
whether it's, you know, we havethe desire to lose weight and
we're in competition with who weare today.
You know, being out of shape oroverweight and we're competing
(02:32):
with who we want to be tomorrowthat lean, slim, in shape, sexy
looking motherfucker.
You know it's like we.
There is this, this tension orthis competition between who we
are today and where we want togo.
And oftentimes there's acompetition between who we are
today and who we've been in thepast, and I think it's a really
(02:55):
important principle for us tounderstand that who we compete
with is going to be who webecome.
You sports, we understand thatwe are going into competition to
compete against someone else,and I know some people love
competition and other peoplereally hate competition.
(03:16):
But I think who we compete withis ultimately, maybe one of the
most important decisions thatwe make, and I want to explain
this to you guys.
I just want to think out loudwith you today because ever
since I heard this quote, I'vebeen thinking about it and it
feels very, very true to me, andI think we can either compete
with who we used to be or who wewant to be, and the decision
(03:41):
that we make on who we're goingto compete with ultimately
determines who we become,because, regardless of whether
we like it, make on who we'regoing to compete with ultimately
determines who we become,because, regardless of whether
we like it or not, we're goingto be competing with someone,
and the someone, again, it's whowe were or who we want to be.
And oftentimes you know,there's a quote from Mark Twain
(04:02):
that I think it's from MarkTwain that I love.
He says you can never write thenext chapter if you're
constantly rereading the lastone, and I think, knowing that
we are going to be incompetition with ourselves, with
our goals, with our ideas, withthe things that we struggle
with, have different vices,different challenges, different
(04:27):
behaviors that we want to breakor things that we want to stop
doing or things that we want tostart doing right.
Oftentimes it's very easy toget discouraged when we're not
making the progress that we wantor when we feel like we're off
base or we're losing Candidly.
Guys, I've felt that way a lotrecently.
Here at Live Bearded, we've hadto do some restructuring and
(04:50):
this is the first time in mycareer Well, not in my career,
this is the first time in myleadership here at Live Bearded
that we have had to let multiplepeople go at once, and we came
to the conclusion a couple ofweeks ago that we had to let
four people on our team go, andwe needed to do that, not
because we weren't doing well,but because we had the wrong
(05:12):
strategy.
And ultimately, as the CEO andas the visionary, it's my
responsibility to help guide andcreate the strategy of the
company.
And about a year ago, we satdown and I came up with a
strategy with some of the peopleon my team and I was like okay,
I think this is what we need todo and fast forward.
Nine months, 12 months, thatstrategy didn't work out and
(05:36):
ultimately, in order to recreatea new strategy to reallocate
resources and move the companyin a different direction, we had
to let some people go.
It was one of the most difficultdays of my life as a leader
needing to tell four people thatI really care about, that I no
longer had a position availablefor them, and to know that that
(05:56):
was my fault largely, that I hadcreated the wrong strategic
approach.
I you know a very humblingprocess.
It made me feel like a failure.
It made me feel like I waslosing, and I felt that way
because I was in competitionwith who I thought I should be
or where I thought I wanted togo.
(06:18):
And I think when I hear thisidea that you are your own
greatest competition, it's youversus you, right, I think if we
could all acknowledge that,that's going to be an incredible
starting point and this isreally where it's my fault comes
from, right.
It's like I say, our life isour fault because it's us versus
(06:42):
us.
We are in competition withourselves and, ultimately, who
we're competing with and whatwe're working to create is going
to determine the life that wehave.
And you know, I think we allintuitively have desires and
things that we want to create inour life.
And you know, using the simpleanalogy of fitness, right, it's
(07:04):
like, if you want to get inbetter shape, every day you wake
up you're in competition withthe food that you eat, with the
exercise that you create, withthe habits, with the stories,
with the voice in your head.
That's like you know what, man,you've done enough today.
You can take the day off.
Oh, you can indulge in thatthing.
You've been working really hard.
(07:25):
You know, there is this voice inour head all the time that is
narrating our experience andtelling us what we should do,
what we shouldn't do, how weshould show up and, ultimately,
what we deserve or or don'tdeserve.
And you know, I, one of the oneof my mentors, a guy that I
really admire, is Andy Fursella,and on his podcast he said we
(07:45):
have a boss voice and we have abitch voice and they're
constantly in competition ofthemselves.
We have this bitch voice that'stelling us that we can't do it,
that we're not good enough.
Who do you think you are?
And then we have this bossvoice that really is the one
that believes we can dosomething great, we can create
(08:06):
extraordinary results.
We can lose the weight, we cancreate the business.
We can lose the weight.
We can, you know, create thebusiness or get the job.
And the narration in our mind,between the fears, the doubts,
the limiting beliefs and theideas, the visions and the
things that inspire us, thatcompetition is always going to
(08:27):
exist the competition betweenwho we are today and who we want
to be tomorrow.
The challenge with this is somepeople are competing with who
they used to be.
They're competing with theprevious version of themselves.
They're competing, you know,maybe a better way to say this
is right.
(08:48):
I grew up playing basketball.
Basketball was my first love,it was my escape.
It was where I learned successand failure and, most
importantly, it's where Ilearned hard work.
And in sports we kind ofintuitively understand that if
we compete against people thatare not as good as us, then
(09:08):
we're not going to get better.
In fact, we might get worse,because more often than not, we
don't rise to the level of ourpotential, we fall to the level
of our competition or who we'retraining with right.
So we have this paradigm where,if you compete with people that
are not as good as you.
You're not going to get anybetter and you might actually
(09:29):
get worse If you compete withpeople that are not as good as
you.
You're not going to get anybetter and you might actually
get worse If you compete withpeople that are on the same
level as you.
Right, you can push each other,you can challenge each other
and you can grow, but ultimately, the growth is going to not be
as strong because you're onlygoing to grow to the level of
which you're training, and ifyou're training with someone
that's your equal, it's veryhard for either of you to make
(09:50):
big leaps.
But if you're playing againstpeople that are way better than
you, if you're training againstpeople that are better than you,
the only way you can stay onthe court is to elevate your
game, and I remember this sovividly as a kid, growing up and
loving the game of basketball.
Right, whenever I got to playon courts with people that are
much better than me, it demandedthat I raise my level of energy
(10:16):
, capability, intelligence.
I had to play harder, I had todo everything I could to stay on
the floor, and that was becauseI was competing with people
that were better than me, and ifI didn't step up, I was going
(10:36):
to have to step off.
And I think, when it comes downto competition and competing
with ourselves, right, we haveto always compete with who we
want to be and where we want togo, the type of business that we
want, the type of relationshipthat we want, who we believe in
we're heart, we're capable ofbecoming.
There's always going to becompetition between who we are
and where we want to go, or whowe've been and who we are, that
(10:59):
competition between the boss andthat bitch voice, that fear and
that doubt.
And I think, ultimately, if wecan look at life more as a
competition, right, for me atleast, this makes sense.
Maybe you think this is crazy,maybe this sounds ridiculous, I
don't know, but for me, I'm acompetitive person, and if
you're a competitive person too,then I think this might
(11:22):
resonate with you.
If we can think about life as acompetition of me versus me,
you versus you, and ultimately,every day we wake up, we're in
competition with ourselves.
We're in competition to getbetter, to learn, to grow, to
evolve, to excel, ultimately,that competition with a higher
(11:45):
version of ourselves is going topull us forward with a higher
version of ourselves, is goingto pull us forward, is going to
grow us and is going to allow usto evolve and get to the next
level.
I know there's been many timesin my life where I felt like a
failure, and failing is part ofthe process of getting better,
(12:05):
of learning and growing.
I told you guys how I made amassive error in judgment and I
took the company in a slightlywrong direction and it led to
some stagnation and it led to usnot making the growth and the
progress that I know we'recapable of, and so I had to take
a step back and I had to humblemyself and look in the mirror
(12:27):
and say, okay, had to take astep back.
And I had to humble myself andlook in the mirror and say, okay
, I failed here, I fucked thisup, and now I have to dust
myself off.
I have to stand back up and Ihave to move through this
challenge.
I have to have difficultconversations, I have to do some
cleanup, and then I have tokind of reorient and say, okay,
(12:48):
I went to competition with thisstrategy and it didn't work, and
now I have to come back to kindof even and say let's build
another idea, another vision,and then I'm going to go into
competition with that new visionand I'm going to get to work on
building that greateropportunity or that next
opportunity.
And along the way, we're goingto fail, we're going to fall
(13:11):
down and we're going to feellike a failure at times.
We're going to put a lot ofpressure on ourselves, we're
going to struggle, we're goingto fight and sometimes we're
just going to need to take astep back and give ourselves a
break.
But ultimately, every day wewake up is a new day.
It's a new opportunity to be incompetition, to conspire, to
(13:34):
get better together.
That's actually what the wordcompetition means In its Latin
root form.
It means to conspire togetherto make each other more, and I
don't think there's anythingbetter than that.
I think I believe for me,happiness comes from creating
(13:55):
progress in my life.
I believe, as humans, we areput on this earth to learn and
to grow and to give our giftsand talents to the world, and
the only way we can do that isif we sharpen those skills and
those talents, if we are incompetition with ourselves.
And I think you know so often welook at the external comparison
(14:15):
or the external competition, aswho we're competing with, and
maybe that is the case in somescenarios.
Maybe external competitioninspires us to work harder, to
show up more, to do whatever ittakes to get to the next level.
But ultimately, every change isgoing to come down to an
(14:40):
internal one, and I think thatidea of you versus you we are
our own greatest competition.
If we can really embody that,embrace that and say okay every
time, every time I'm struggling,what am I competing with here?
Who?
What part of me am I incompetition with?
(15:03):
Oh shit, it's the part of it'sthat limiting belief.
Oh shit, it's the part of it'sthat limiting belief.
It's that fear, it's that doubt.
Okay, yeah, I need to go to warwith that doubt.
You know, I'll give you a realexample of this that's taken
place in my life.
One of the things I really wantto do is is create a mentorship
(15:25):
program for entrepreneurs.
I love the game of business.
I've been playing this game for14 years now.
I've made money, I've lostmoney.
I've made money, I've lostmoney.
I've now had the privilege tobuild an eight-figure company.
We've done over $50 million insales and I want to share what
I've learned on my journey withother entrepreneurs that are
(15:47):
getting started, and I know thatI have the capacity to do that.
But there's this fear that I'mstill not qualified.
There's this fear that I'mstill not good enough.
There's this imposter syndrome,that bitch voice that says who
do you think you are Like, yeah,you've had some success, but
you're really a nobody incomparison to everyone else out
(16:10):
there the Bezos's and the Musk's, and you know even the other
entrepreneurs that you know thatare far more successful than
you.
Like what?
Why would anybody listen to you?
And then I take a step backfrom that and I'm like I'm in
competition with this limitationand the best thing I can do is
battle that limitation until itdoesn't exist anymore, until I
(16:34):
can dominate it whenever itcomes up.
And then the most amazing thingis at the next new level of
growth.
We have new competitions, newfears, new doubts, new
insecurities that we have tobattle with, and oftentimes, I
think the reason why I love thisidea our greatest competition
(16:57):
is ourself is because it givesus permission to compete against
the limitations, the fears, thedoubts and also the dreams, the
goals, the ideals.
Right, if we're competingagainst the things that are
holding us back, eventually,we're going to dominate them,
we're going to learn how toovercome them and we're going to
(17:17):
develop the skills and thecharacter traits necessary to
overcome them anytime they comeup.
And then, if we compete withwho we want to be, with the
goals, the dreams, theaspirations that we have now
we're playing against thatcompetitor that's better than us
, and it's calling us to raiseour game, to elevate, to improve
(17:39):
, to grow, and I believe that iswhat we're put on this earth to
do.
I think that God gave us giftsand the thing that we must do is
to maximize those gifts andthen to give them back to the
world, and the only way that'spossible is if we are in
deliberate and intentionalcompetition with ourselves.
(18:02):
So the reason why I love thisidea that we are our biggest
opponent is because I believethat life is a game and in order
to win at the game of life,we're going to have external
competitors and we're going tohave internal competitors, and
ultimately, it's the internalcompetition that we have that's
going to determine our capacityto compete externally in the
(18:26):
world.
You know, we have to play thegame and whether we show up and
compete or maybe a better way tosay this is like you can sit in
the bleachers of life and watchthe competition.
Watch the people that have thecourage to go to war with their
fears, their doubts, to battleagainst their fears, their
(18:46):
doubts, to battle against theirdreams and their ideals.
You can watch it or you canplay the game, and if we're in
competition with ourselves,we're in the game right.
You can surrender to your fearsand doubts and you can
surrender the goals that youhave, or you can go to.
(19:10):
You can be in competition withthem, and by being in
competition with them, you arestriving to overcome them and to
create them.
And I just know in my life thatwhen I have realized there was
a part of me that was holding meback, and I went into
competition with that part and Iovercame it.
(19:31):
It unlocked the next level ofgrowth for me and it allowed me
to become what I am today.
I think competition ultimatelyinspires us to get better and,
as you're listening to this, ifthere is an area of your life
that you are avoiding, if thereis something that you know you
need to do but you've beenintentionally avoiding it, I
(19:54):
would challenge you to go intocompetition with that thing.
If there's a conversation youneed to have, be in competition
with that conversation and gohave it.
Go do it so that you win thatcompetition, so that you build
that muscle.
If there is a habit that youknow you need to break maybe
you've been drinking too much orpartying too much or not
(20:17):
showing up in the way that youwant to show up Go into
competition with that habit,with that failure of character
or belief, and by going intocompetition with it, you give
yourself the opportunity toovercome it.
I think by reframing the game asa competition right, it gives
(20:41):
us permission to play.
So, rather than me being notgood enough to start that
coaching program now, I'm justin competition to become great,
so that I can do it, to overcomeand endure.
And it becomes a game that weplay with ourselves.
And I think if we can willinglyaccept the competition between
(21:01):
who we are and where we want togo, and we can compete with the
limitations that we feel todayso we can achieve the
opportunity that we know ispossible, we're creating the
character to build anything andour success in life ultimately
comes down to three things theskills that we have, the
character traits that we possessand the beliefs that we have
(21:24):
about what's possible forourselves.
And if one of the beliefs youhave is I'm always going to be
in the game and that means I'malways going to be competing
with myself you're guaranteed towin, because the point of
competition is to continue toplay the game.
So, in closing, I would say getoff the bleachers and get into
(21:48):
the game of life.
Face the challenges, the fears,the doubts.
Believe in the goals and theaspirations and the visions and
be in competition with them,because they conspire together
to make you better.
I appreciate you guys listeningto this one today.
This is just a candidconversation.
I'm just thinking out loud withyou guys today and if you've
(22:09):
made it this far, I trulyappreciate you sticking with me.
I believe the greatest gift wehave is the gift of each other,
and my goal with this podcast isto simply share the thoughts,
the experiences, the stories andthe lessons that I've learned
on my journey, in the hopes thatthey can help inspire you to
create the life that you wantand to live life on your terms.
(22:29):
I think that's our goal.
I think that is what we allwant.
At the end of the day, we wantto live life on our terms.
That's my prayer for you.
It's my prayer for me.
Hope you have an amazing weekand I look forward to talking to
you guys soon.
And I think, ultimately, if we can look at
life more as a competition right, for me at least, this makes
sense.
Maybe you think this is crazy,maybe this sounds ridiculous, I
don't know, but for me I'm acompetitive person, and if
you're a competitive person too,then I think this might
resonate with you.
If we can think about life as acompetition of me versus me, you
(00:25):
versus you, and ultimately,every day we wake up, we're in
competition with ourselves.
We're in competition to getbetter, to learn, to grow, to
evolve, to excel.
Ultimately, that competitionwith a higher version of
ourselves is going to pull usforward, is going to grow us and
(00:45):
is going to allow us to evolveand get to the next level.
I don't need no permission.
I'm a man on a mission.
(01:08):
Welcome to, entitled to Nothingwhere we believe our life is
our fault.
My name is Mink and I startedthis show because I've spent the
last 20 years of my liferunning headfirst into failure
after failure, and I've learnedhow to turn my failures into
lessons, and I've used thoselessons to create life on my
(01:28):
terms.
And what I want to do with thisshow is share everything I've
learned on my journey to helpinspire you on yours.
So a week I was at a businessconference and one of the
speakers said the greatestcompetition you have is with
yourself.
You are your greatest opponent.
It's you versus you.
And I want to talk about thiswith you guys today, because I
(01:50):
have spent a lot of timethinking about this and I know I
have been in competition withmyself for a long time and I
think it's not always easy, butit's always necessary.
You know, we're in competitionwith our fears and our doubts.
We're in competition with whatwe believe is possible.
(02:12):
We're in competition with thegoals that we have for ourselves
.
And there is this naturaltension that comes up in life,
whether it's, you know, we havethe desire to lose weight and
we're in competition with who weare today.
You know, being out of shape oroverweight and we're competing
(02:32):
with who we want to be tomorrowthat lean, slim, in shape, sexy
looking motherfucker.
You know it's like we.
There is this, this tension orthis competition between who we
are today and where we want togo.
And oftentimes there's acompetition between who we are
today and who we've been in thepast, and I think it's a really
(02:55):
important principle for us tounderstand that who we compete
with is going to be who webecome.
You sports, we understand thatwe are going into competition to
compete against someone else,and I know some people love
competition and other peoplereally hate competition.
(03:16):
But I think who we compete withis ultimately, maybe one of the
most important decisions thatwe make, and I want to explain
this to you guys.
I just want to think out loudwith you today because ever
since I heard this quote, I'vebeen thinking about it and it
feels very, very true to me, andI think we can either compete
with who we used to be or who wewant to be, and the decision
(03:41):
that we make on who we're goingto compete with ultimately
determines who we become,because, regardless of whether
we like it, make on who we'regoing to compete with ultimately
determines who we become,because, regardless of whether
we like it or not, we're goingto be competing with someone,
and the someone, again, it's whowe were or who we want to be.
And oftentimes you know,there's a quote from Mark Twain
(04:02):
that I think it's from MarkTwain that I love.
He says you can never write thenext chapter if you're
constantly rereading the lastone, and I think, knowing that
we are going to be incompetition with ourselves, with
our goals, with our ideas, withthe things that we struggle
with, have different vices,different challenges, different
(04:27):
behaviors that we want to breakor things that we want to stop
doing or things that we want tostart doing right.
Oftentimes it's very easy toget discouraged when we're not
making the progress that we wantor when we feel like we're off
base or we're losing Candidly.
Guys, I've felt that way a lotrecently.
Here at Live Bearded, we've hadto do some restructuring and
(04:50):
this is the first time in mycareer Well, not in my career,
this is the first time in myleadership here at Live Bearded
that we have had to let multiplepeople go at once, and we came
to the conclusion a couple ofweeks ago that we had to let
four people on our team go, andwe needed to do that, not
because we weren't doing well,but because we had the wrong
(05:12):
strategy.
And ultimately, as the CEO andas the visionary, it's my
responsibility to help guide andcreate the strategy of the
company.
And about a year ago, we satdown and I came up with a
strategy with some of the peopleon my team and I was like okay,
I think this is what we need todo and fast forward.
Nine months, 12 months, thatstrategy didn't work out and
(05:36):
ultimately, in order to recreatea new strategy to reallocate
resources and move the companyin a different direction, we had
to let some people go.
It was one of the most difficultdays of my life as a leader
needing to tell four people thatI really care about, that I no
longer had a position availablefor them, and to know that that
(05:56):
was my fault largely, that I hadcreated the wrong strategic
approach.
I you know a very humblingprocess.
It made me feel like a failure.
It made me feel like I waslosing, and I felt that way
because I was in competitionwith who I thought I should be
or where I thought I wanted togo.
(06:18):
And I think when I hear thisidea that you are your own
greatest competition, it's youversus you, right, I think if we
could all acknowledge that,that's going to be an incredible
starting point and this isreally where it's my fault comes
from, right.
It's like I say, our life isour fault because it's us versus
(06:42):
us.
We are in competition withourselves and, ultimately, who
we're competing with and whatwe're working to create is going
to determine the life that wehave.
And you know, I think we allintuitively have desires and
things that we want to create inour life.
And you know, using the simpleanalogy of fitness, right, it's
(07:04):
like, if you want to get inbetter shape, every day you wake
up you're in competition withthe food that you eat, with the
exercise that you create, withthe habits, with the stories,
with the voice in your head.
That's like you know what, man,you've done enough today.
You can take the day off.
Oh, you can indulge in thatthing.
You've been working really hard.
(07:25):
You know, there is this voice inour head all the time that is
narrating our experience andtelling us what we should do,
what we shouldn't do, how weshould show up and, ultimately,
what we deserve or or don'tdeserve.
And you know, I, one of the oneof my mentors, a guy that I
really admire, is Andy Fursella,and on his podcast he said we
(07:45):
have a boss voice and we have abitch voice and they're
constantly in competition ofthemselves.
We have this bitch voice that'stelling us that we can't do it,
that we're not good enough.
Who do you think you are?
And then we have this bossvoice that really is the one
that believes we can dosomething great, we can create
(08:06):
extraordinary results.
We can lose the weight, we cancreate the business.
We can lose the weight.
We can, you know, create thebusiness or get the job.
And the narration in our mind,between the fears, the doubts,
the limiting beliefs and theideas, the visions and the
things that inspire us, thatcompetition is always going to
(08:27):
exist the competition betweenwho we are today and who we want
to be tomorrow.
The challenge with this is somepeople are competing with who
they used to be.
They're competing with theprevious version of themselves.
They're competing, you know,maybe a better way to say this
is right.
(08:48):
I grew up playing basketball.
Basketball was my first love,it was my escape.
It was where I learned successand failure and, most
importantly, it's where Ilearned hard work.
And in sports we kind ofintuitively understand that if
we compete against people thatare not as good as us, then
(09:08):
we're not going to get better.
In fact, we might get worse,because more often than not, we
don't rise to the level of ourpotential, we fall to the level
of our competition or who we'retraining with right.
So we have this paradigm where,if you compete with people that
are not as good as you.
You're not going to get anybetter and you might actually
(09:29):
get worse If you compete withpeople that are not as good as
you.
You're not going to get anybetter and you might actually
get worse If you compete withpeople that are on the same
level as you.
Right, you can push each other,you can challenge each other
and you can grow, but ultimately, the growth is going to not be
as strong because you're onlygoing to grow to the level of
which you're training, and ifyou're training with someone
that's your equal, it's veryhard for either of you to make
(09:50):
big leaps.
But if you're playing againstpeople that are way better than
you, if you're training againstpeople that are better than you,
the only way you can stay onthe court is to elevate your
game, and I remember this sovividly as a kid, growing up and
loving the game of basketball.
Right, whenever I got to playon courts with people that are
much better than me, it demandedthat I raise my level of energy
(10:16):
, capability, intelligence.
I had to play harder, I had todo everything I could to stay on
the floor, and that was becauseI was competing with people
that were better than me, and ifI didn't step up, I was going
(10:36):
to have to step off.
And I think, when it comes downto competition and competing
with ourselves, right, we haveto always compete with who we
want to be and where we want togo, the type of business that we
want, the type of relationshipthat we want, who we believe in
we're heart, we're capable ofbecoming.
There's always going to becompetition between who we are
and where we want to go, or whowe've been and who we are, that
(10:59):
competition between the boss andthat bitch voice, that fear and
that doubt.
And I think, ultimately, if wecan look at life more as a
competition, right, for me atleast, this makes sense.
Maybe you think this is crazy,maybe this sounds ridiculous, I
don't know, but for me, I'm acompetitive person, and if
you're a competitive person too,then I think this might
(11:22):
resonate with you.
If we can think about life as acompetition of me versus me,
you versus you, and ultimately,every day we wake up, we're in
competition with ourselves.
We're in competition to getbetter, to learn, to grow, to
evolve, to excel, ultimately,that competition with a higher
(11:45):
version of ourselves is going topull us forward with a higher
version of ourselves, is goingto pull us forward, is going to
grow us and is going to allow usto evolve and get to the next
level.
I know there's been many timesin my life where I felt like a
failure, and failing is part ofthe process of getting better,
(12:05):
of learning and growing.
I told you guys how I made amassive error in judgment and I
took the company in a slightlywrong direction and it led to
some stagnation and it led to usnot making the growth and the
progress that I know we'recapable of, and so I had to take
a step back and I had to humblemyself and look in the mirror
(12:27):
and say, okay, had to take astep back.
And I had to humble myself andlook in the mirror and say, okay
, I failed here, I fucked thisup, and now I have to dust
myself off.
I have to stand back up and Ihave to move through this
challenge.
I have to have difficultconversations, I have to do some
cleanup, and then I have tokind of reorient and say, okay,
(12:48):
I went to competition with thisstrategy and it didn't work, and
now I have to come back to kindof even and say let's build
another idea, another vision,and then I'm going to go into
competition with that new visionand I'm going to get to work on
building that greateropportunity or that next
opportunity.
And along the way, we're goingto fail, we're going to fall
(13:11):
down and we're going to feellike a failure at times.
We're going to put a lot ofpressure on ourselves, we're
going to struggle, we're goingto fight and sometimes we're
just going to need to take astep back and give ourselves a
break.
But ultimately, every day wewake up is a new day.
It's a new opportunity to be incompetition, to conspire, to
(13:34):
get better together.
That's actually what the wordcompetition means In its Latin
root form.
It means to conspire togetherto make each other more, and I
don't think there's anythingbetter than that.
I think I believe for me,happiness comes from creating
(13:55):
progress in my life.
I believe, as humans, we areput on this earth to learn and
to grow and to give our giftsand talents to the world, and
the only way we can do that isif we sharpen those skills and
those talents, if we are incompetition with ourselves.
And I think you know so often welook at the external comparison
(14:15):
or the external competition, aswho we're competing with, and
maybe that is the case in somescenarios.
Maybe external competitioninspires us to work harder, to
show up more, to do whatever ittakes to get to the next level.
But ultimately, every change isgoing to come down to an
(14:40):
internal one, and I think thatidea of you versus you we are
our own greatest competition.
If we can really embody that,embrace that and say okay every
time, every time I'm struggling,what am I competing with here?
Who?
What part of me am I incompetition with?
(15:03):
Oh shit, it's the part of it'sthat limiting belief.
Oh shit, it's the part of it'sthat limiting belief.
It's that fear, it's that doubt.
Okay, yeah, I need to go to warwith that doubt.
You know, I'll give you a realexample of this that's taken
place in my life.
One of the things I really wantto do is is create a mentorship
(15:25):
program for entrepreneurs.
I love the game of business.
I've been playing this game for14 years now.
I've made money, I've lostmoney.
I've made money, I've lostmoney.
I've now had the privilege tobuild an eight-figure company.
We've done over $50 million insales and I want to share what
I've learned on my journey withother entrepreneurs that are
(15:47):
getting started, and I know thatI have the capacity to do that.
But there's this fear that I'mstill not qualified.
There's this fear that I'mstill not good enough.
There's this imposter syndrome,that bitch voice that says who
do you think you are Like, yeah,you've had some success, but
you're really a nobody incomparison to everyone else out
(16:10):
there the Bezos's and the Musk's, and you know even the other
entrepreneurs that you know thatare far more successful than
you.
Like what?
Why would anybody listen to you?
And then I take a step backfrom that and I'm like I'm in
competition with this limitationand the best thing I can do is
battle that limitation until itdoesn't exist anymore, until I
(16:34):
can dominate it whenever itcomes up.
And then the most amazing thingis at the next new level of
growth.
We have new competitions, newfears, new doubts, new
insecurities that we have tobattle with, and oftentimes, I
think the reason why I love thisidea our greatest competition
(16:57):
is ourself is because it givesus permission to compete against
the limitations, the fears, thedoubts and also the dreams, the
goals, the ideals.
Right, if we're competingagainst the things that are
holding us back, eventually,we're going to dominate them,
we're going to learn how toovercome them and we're going to
(17:17):
develop the skills and thecharacter traits necessary to
overcome them anytime they comeup.
And then, if we compete withwho we want to be, with the
goals, the dreams, theaspirations that we have now
we're playing against thatcompetitor that's better than us
, and it's calling us to raiseour game, to elevate, to improve
(17:39):
, to grow, and I believe that iswhat we're put on this earth to
do.
I think that God gave us giftsand the thing that we must do is
to maximize those gifts andthen to give them back to the
world, and the only way that'spossible is if we are in
deliberate and intentionalcompetition with ourselves.
(18:02):
So the reason why I love thisidea that we are our biggest
opponent is because I believethat life is a game and in order
to win at the game of life,we're going to have external
competitors and we're going tohave internal competitors, and
ultimately, it's the internalcompetition that we have that's
going to determine our capacityto compete externally in the
(18:26):
world.
You know, we have to play thegame and whether we show up and
compete or maybe a better way tosay this is like you can sit in
the bleachers of life and watchthe competition.
Watch the people that have thecourage to go to war with their
fears, their doubts, to battleagainst their fears, their
(18:46):
doubts, to battle against theirdreams and their ideals.
You can watch it or you canplay the game, and if we're in
competition with ourselves,we're in the game right.
You can surrender to your fearsand doubts and you can
surrender the goals that youhave, or you can go to.
(19:10):
You can be in competition withthem, and by being in
competition with them, you arestriving to overcome them and to
create them.
And I just know in my life thatwhen I have realized there was
a part of me that was holding meback, and I went into
competition with that part and Iovercame it.
(19:31):
It unlocked the next level ofgrowth for me and it allowed me
to become what I am today.
I think competition ultimatelyinspires us to get better and,
as you're listening to this, ifthere is an area of your life
that you are avoiding, if thereis something that you know you
need to do but you've beenintentionally avoiding it, I
(19:54):
would challenge you to go intocompetition with that thing.
If there's a conversation youneed to have, be in competition
with that conversation and gohave it.
Go do it so that you win thatcompetition, so that you build
that muscle.
If there is a habit that youknow you need to break maybe
you've been drinking too much orpartying too much or not
(20:17):
showing up in the way that youwant to show up Go into
competition with that habit,with that failure of character
or belief, and by going intocompetition with it, you give
yourself the opportunity toovercome it.
I think by reframing the game asa competition right, it gives
(20:41):
us permission to play.
So, rather than me being notgood enough to start that
coaching program now, I'm justin competition to become great,
so that I can do it, to overcomeand endure.
And it becomes a game that weplay with ourselves.
And I think if we can willinglyaccept the competition between
(21:01):
who we are and where we want togo, and we can compete with the
limitations that we feel todayso we can achieve the
opportunity that we know ispossible, we're creating the
character to build anything andour success in life ultimately
comes down to three things theskills that we have, the
character traits that we possessand the beliefs that we have
(21:24):
about what's possible forourselves.
And if one of the beliefs youhave is I'm always going to be
in the game and that means I'malways going to be competing
with myself you're guaranteed towin, because the point of
competition is to continue toplay the game.
So, in closing, I would say getoff the bleachers and get into
(21:48):
the game of life.
Face the challenges, the fears,the doubts.
Believe in the goals and theaspirations and the visions and
be in competition with them,because they conspire together
to make you better.
I appreciate you guys listeningto this one today.
This is just a candidconversation.
I'm just thinking out loud withyou guys today and if you've
(22:09):
made it this far, I trulyappreciate you sticking with me.
I believe the greatest gift wehave is the gift of each other,
and my goal with this podcast isto simply share the thoughts,
the experiences, the stories andthe lessons that I've learned
on my journey, in the hopes thatthey can help inspire you to
create the life that you wantand to live life on your terms.
(22:29):
I think that's our goal.
I think that is what we allwant.
At the end of the day, we wantto live life on our terms.
That's my prayer for you.
It's my prayer for me.
Hope you have an amazing weekand I look forward to talking to
you guys soon.
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