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August 5, 2025 • 47 mins

Grandparenting can be one of the most rewarding experiences of life, but sometimes these relationships can be challenging. Maybe you are one who wishes you had more time with your grandchildren! On the next Equipped, family expert and grandfather Dr. Tim Kimmel talks about reaching and relating to your grandkids as a mentor, encourager, and a spiritual rock during the hard times of their lives.

Featured resource:
Extreme Grandparenting by Tim Kimmel

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The Quiet Time Kickstart by Rachel Jones

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
S1 (00:15):
Today's program has been pre-recorded so our phone lines are
not open. Well hey there friends, welcome to another exciting
edition of equip with Chris Brooks. I am absolutely thrilled
that you have tuned in today. Can you do me
a favor? Strap on your seatbelt. We're going to navigate
through the contours of culture, as always with the lens

(00:38):
of the biblical worldview on. But before we do that,
let me remind you this is the day that the
Lord has made. He is given it as a gift
so that you and I can rejoice and be glad
in it. So let's do just that. Let's follow the
words of the Apostle Paul. Let's rejoice in the Lord always.
And again I say, rejoice! I greet you with those
wonderful words from Scripture and I pray that they encourage

(01:00):
your heart. Today I want to encourage and strengthen your family. Uh,
our focus in particular is on grandparenting. What an amazing
ministry grandparenting is. It can be argued, and I think
accurately so that grandparents are the second most important people
in the life of a child. But how do we

(01:21):
navigate through the sticky situations that we often find ourselves in?
If you're a grandparent, you understand some of these sticky situations.
What happens if your kids are limiting your access deliberately
to your grandchildren? What if you're forbidden to share your faith?
What if you have to help your grandkids navigate through
their parents divorce? Or how to live in a blended family?

(01:45):
How do you do that as a grandparent? Understanding the
boundaries that are there, but fulfilling your God given calling
and role in their lives. Well, today we want to
open up the phone lines for grandparents, grandmothers, grandfathers who
are trying their best to bless not only their children,
but their children's children, as Scripture tells us to try

(02:07):
to pour into this generation, but not without challenges. I
believe that God wants you to be encouraged and reminded
that your ministry is so important to God's kingdom, to
the local church, and to what God has planned for
this generation. If you are a grandparent and you'd like
for us to maybe give you wisdom on how to

(02:29):
navigate a sticky situation and your grandparenting, or to pray
for your family, we'd love to do that. Today I
am so excited to have what I believe to be
one of the heroes of Grandparenting ministry, Doctor Tim Kimmel.
You know, Tim loves it when the church and families
are strong and healthy. He loves it even more when

(02:51):
they work together as a team. Tim is the founder
and executive director of Grace Based families, whose goal is
is rather to see transform families transformed by God's grace
into instruments of reformation and restoration. Tim, along with his
wife Darcy, develop resources for families and churches, and they

(03:13):
conduct conferences across the globe on the unique pressures that
confront today's family. You know that you have heard Tim
talk about extreme grandparenting the ride of your life. And
I love that book. It's a wonderful resource. But they
now have a DVD series that we want to highlight
that features solutions to some of the sticky situations that

(03:37):
grandparents find themselves in, and a wonderful resource on discovering
the secrets to heart connection with your grandchildren. Tim, how
are you today? Today?

S2 (03:48):
Hey Chris, I am doing fine, but you know, I'm
doing a whole lot better listening to you talk and
and get us all excited about the Lord and about
the day. This is great. Thanks for letting me be on.

S1 (04:00):
Well, you are a joy to have on and I'm
so grateful for you just highlighting and reminding us of
how important it is for families to be healthy and strong,
to work together as a team. And the joys of grandparenting.
All right, if I if you're keeping score at home, Tim,
I think the the number now is for children. You

(04:22):
got four children, their spouses and a growing flock of grandkids.
Is that right?

S2 (04:27):
We have nine. Nine grandkids so far.

S1 (04:30):
Nine and counting.

S2 (04:32):
Nine and counting. We had them all on vacation in June.
There was 19 of us all at the same and
it was a fabulous week. We just had so much fun,
you know? But you know, Chris, you are a pastor
of a major church and you love the church. Um, uh,
I'm convinced that strong churches don't make strong families. I

(04:53):
think it's the other way around. Strong families make strong churches.

S3 (04:56):
I agree, I agree.

S2 (04:57):
And and that that's and and but but many times,
you know, maybe we didn't know we were doing we
were kids, but we have a chance to kind of
redeem the times. If this is Grandparenting is a great
do over. You know, a chance to do some things
we wish we could have done when we were younger.
If you play golf, it's like a big mulligan. We get,
we get.

S3 (05:17):
Yes. Yes.

S2 (05:20):
You know what a mulligan is? And some of.

S3 (05:21):
The people listening do. Yes, sir. So, you.

S1 (05:24):
Know, when I hear you say you had 19 on
your family vacation, Tim, that's the size of a small church.
You know that, right?

S3 (05:31):
It is.

S1 (05:32):
You guys are living a legacy. And. And what a
blessing for those who have never thought about Grandparenting as
a ministry. Tim, just help to share how you discovered
this in Scripture and why Grandparenting is such a high
calling and so important in God's plan.

S2 (05:53):
Well, let's start with the scripture. Psalm 71, verses 17
and 18. This is written by David. Uh, and and
it says, since my youth, oh, God, you have taught me.
And to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. And
even when I'm old and gray. Do not forsake me. Oh, God,

(06:15):
till I declare your power to the next generation. Your
might to all who are to come. Now that's written
by a man who struggled as a father.

S3 (06:26):
Yes.

S2 (06:28):
I mean, if we look back at his record as
a father, but as he got grayer and older and
looked back, he said, Lord, let me make make some
huge difference in this new generation coming along before I,
I take my last breath and we can't just this Sunday, just,
just this Sunday, Chris, at our church, we had a baptism.
And this family, they had three daughters and I think

(06:49):
the youngest one was like 12 and the oldest one
was like 16. And they came out and each one
had an individual testimony they had shared with the pastor.
And the pastor kind of just kind of summarized it.
And each one, it was their grandmother.

S3 (07:03):
Mhm. That, that.

S2 (07:05):
That showed them the weight of the cross to Jesus.
And it wasn't so much that she, you know, put the,
you know, uh, you know, the Vulcan squeeze on him spiritually.
It's that she modeled it. She loved them. She led
the way. And then she voiced the gospel to them
in ways through practical living. And and they all came

(07:25):
to Christ and got baptized, uh, Sunday. But but I thought,
what a testimony, uh, to to the role that we
still have, even that when we're in those old and
gray years.

S1 (07:37):
You know, Tim, it's interesting you bring that up because
this weekend my family had the joy of my youngest son, Judah,
being baptized. And, uh, so often the parents get, uh,
too much credit for that. You know, my mom, uh,
who is Judah's grandmother. My mother.

S3 (07:54):
Uh.

S1 (07:55):
Prays faithfully for her grandchildren every day. And one of
the things that she committed to doing is, uh, with
the grandkids on a on a regular basis, is just
about daily, is to share with them a verse of
the day and just.

S3 (08:11):
To pray.

S1 (08:12):
For them and encourage them. And through all of these challenges,
she was faithful to that. And so it's so awesome
to see the multi-generational legacy of faith that's in my family.
You call grandparents blessing givers, and you say that too
much is at stake for us to take our role

(08:33):
as blessing givers lightly. What do you mean.

S3 (08:36):
By that.

S1 (08:37):
Tim?

S2 (08:38):
Well, well, you see, that's that's one of the four
major roles that I think God has given us in
the Scripture as grandparents and to be blessing givers. And
and so because we we have a chance to touch
the three greatest, most tender needs that our grandchildren have,

(08:58):
and that is their need to know that they're secure,
that they're significant, and that they're strong or sufficient for
the moment they're in. And we can do that. We
can give them a blessing by being people who through
through what we say and what we do around them
and what we do with them, we pass on a
secure love and a significant purpose and a strong hope
to them on a consistent basis. And what that does

(09:21):
is that blesses that child. What's interesting is kids that
could go in that have have received that sense of
blessing and a consistent basis from at least somebody in
their life that they, they, they consider of high value.
They could go they can actually go in to a
very hostile adult world and thrive.

S3 (09:42):
What do you say, converse?

S2 (09:44):
The converse is true, though, Chris. And that that let's
say let's say they didn't get the blessing and they
go into an adult world that, that where, where the,
the grease, the skids are greased for them and everything's
going their way, but they don't feel they don't feel
that security. That's why we we play a huge role
to bless them that way.

S1 (10:03):
I love it. And, Tim, what do you say to
those who may be listening to us right now? Their
grandparents and they have just entered into retirement, or maybe
they're early into retirement. The sweet season of being able
to have freedom and, uh, and travel and all the
toys you want. And here we come, uh, giving this

(10:24):
ministry assignment of pouring into the next generation. What do
you want to say to that group?

S2 (10:31):
Well, first of all, retirement is not a biblical idea.
It's it's a it's an IRS idea. Uh, it was
it was an invention of the 20th century. That doesn't
mean that I have any problem with anybody getting a
well deserved rest from the their vocation. There's nothing wrong
with that. But. But if anything, uh, the fourth quarter

(10:55):
of our life is a time to step up our
game when it comes to the impact we're going to have,
the deliberate actions we're going to take to love the
generation two below us, below our our kids and our grandkids. Now,
that doesn't mean that we can't have fun, and we
can't have leisure time and we can't have a life,

(11:16):
you know, retirement life. But but, but but it subordinates
to our spiritual callings as parents, grandparents, husbands and wives.

S1 (11:27):
You say this that the torch must pass twice to
the next generation. Well, we're going to talk about how
to have a contagious faith that's powerful enough to touch
not only your children, but your children's children. We're going
to also take your calls today. As you can hear,
Tim Kimmel is fired up to be here with us,
a man of wisdom, as well as the proud grandparent

(11:50):
of nine. Awesome. Just about perfect grandkids. Uh, but.

S3 (11:55):
Even.

S1 (11:55):
More, he is committed. Very much committed to helping our family.
Your family be healthy and strong. I could not agree
with Tim more that healthy churches are built upon the
shoulders of healthy families. Strong churches are built on the
strong shoulders of strong families. So if we're going to

(12:16):
see our churches strong, our communities strong, our nation strong,
our families have to be strong. And grandparents, you play
a vital role. So as we get ready to go
to to break today, I want to encourage you to
dial this number 877548 3675 all over the country. We're
going to take questions from grandparents. And I really want

(12:38):
to highlight, uh, this wonderful DVD resource called, um, Sticky
Situation Solving the Sticky Situations. And so if you're listening
to us today and you want to help your family
to minimize drama, you want to deal with, uh, the
reality of limited access, what if you're forbidden to share
your faith? What if your kids went through a divorce?

(13:00):
What if your your grandchildren are in a blended family situation?
How do you intervene? Uh, all of those things, we
can even talk about babysitting, uh, teenage grandchildren, long distance
grandparenting and so much more. 877548 3675. We'll be right back.

(13:22):
As followers of Christ, we know daily time in God's
Word matters. But some are. Distractions can make it hard
to stay consistent. Now is the perfect time to refresh
or begin this life giving habit. I would love to
sing you The Quiet Time Kickstart by Rachel Jones. This
compact guide starts small and helps you build a steady,

(13:43):
meaningful rhythm in Scripture, setting you up for ongoing success.
Request your copy today with a gift of any amount.
To equip, simply call 888644 4144 or visit Equip radio.org.
Chris Brooks here, reminding you that today's program is pre-recorded

(14:03):
and we won't be taking your calls. Welcome back to
Equipped with Chris Brooks. Today, we are equipping grandparents to
experience the extreme joy of the ministry of Grandparenting. Doctor
Tim Kimmel is with me today. I have resources all

(14:24):
over my desk in front of me. If you were
here in studio with me, you would see all of
these wonderful resources that, uh, are all produced by Doctor
Tim and Darcy Kimmel. Kimmel. And they do such a
great job at Grace Based family. So we want to
help you to get some resources. Today, we have five

(14:44):
complimentary copies of Extreme Grandparenting that we're going to give
away to friends on social media. So if you go
there and you have questions or comments or you'd like
to get a copy, it is such a great resource. Tim,
I will tell you a couple of, uh, a couple of, uh,
years ago, my kids, uh, took some of your resources

(15:06):
and gave it to their grandparents, uh, as a gift
around Mother's Day and Father's Day as a way of saying, hey, uh,
we love you, and you are so important in our lives.
So that may be one of the ways that folks, uh,
desire to use it. All right, listen, uh, if you
want to support the program financially, please go to our

(15:27):
website today at org. It's amazing to think we're to August.
Isn't that amazing? This year is going so fast, but
we do need a few friends to come alongside of us. Uh,
as a matter of fact, if you're listening today and
we've been a blessing to you and you've never given
to equip today, uh, before, today would be a great

(15:48):
day to do it. Maybe a $50 gift, 100 $500 gift.
Do your best. And, uh, it'll help us to stay
on in your community to equip you to more effectively live,
share and defend your faith. To give, all you have
to do is dial the number 888644 4144. That's 888644

(16:09):
4144 or equip radio. All right, Tim, I want to
say a very commonsensical statement, but I want you to
comment on why it's so important. You say in your book,
our children are the gatekeepers to our grandchildren. Why is
that such a foundational and important statement to understand?

S2 (16:34):
You know, it's like the headwaters of of a river.
The water in that river is only going to be
as pure and clean and vibrant as those headwaters. And
if the headwaters get polluted, if there's things up there,
there's trash or there's dead animals, there's there's the stuff
up in the mountains, in in the In the springs,

(16:54):
it's going to pollute the downstream. That's why what our
kids are doing in their life plays a key role now.
We played a role in our kids lives, but none
of us played that role perfectly. Yes, and some of
us struggled in it. But the good news is we
put our faith in the God of the second chance. Yes,

(17:15):
of the clean slate. Yes, of the new day. And
and he can he can actually restore some of the
stuff that that we wish we would have done better.
And one of the ways he gives us a chance
to do that is grandparents. But but that also means
that not only are, you know, we're talking about our
relationship with our grandkids, but we need to make sure

(17:35):
that we're also really careful about our relationship with our
own children, because it's not uncommon for them to for
there to be some struggles going on between us and kids.
And that's why, knowing our place, I think one of
the things is, is, is is is not being an
enmeshed family, just being a, you know, you can be

(17:56):
a close family but not enmeshed. And I think sometimes parents,
grandparents step too far over the line on the financial
stuff or, or giving their opinion and all that stuff.
And I don't know about you, Chris, but when I
was when you and your wife were young, raising your kids,
you probably didn't want your parents as much as you
loved them, critiquing everything you were doing with your kids.

S1 (18:16):
Yeah, yeah. You want your.

S2 (18:18):
Even even if you needed that, you just didn't want that.
And so the best thing is we just keep our
we zip our lips and we pray like mad and
we earn the right to be turned to and ask
for advice.

S1 (18:32):
What happens in a family when the grandparents communicate a
lack of confidence in the kids?

S2 (18:39):
Well, it's like anything, you know, if we're playing baseball
and I'm your coach and you're getting ready to go
up to in a clutch situation at first. Frankly, Chris,
I don't think you got what it takes. I think
this game's over, but go ahead and do your best.
I mean, what's your chances now?

S1 (18:56):
Yeah, that's right, that's right.

S2 (18:58):
Even if back in my heart of hearts, I think,
you know, I don't really think he's the best. I
wish we could put somebody else up here. Pinch it.
But he's the guy next in line. But even if
I felt that I would, I would say, no, no, listen,
this is. This moment is yours. And I believe in you.
And you're going to go up there and just put
that thing in a hole where they can't catch it
for a while. Just put it somewhere in the field.

(19:19):
You can do it. Chris. Now, now go have fun.
It's just a big difference because. Because even if you
were feeling bad, suddenly, they. Well, yeah, I guess I
could do this. And we. The ministry of encouragement is
so huge. Uh, you know, I had a chance yesterday
to encourage a kid who was in my youth group

(19:39):
back in the 80s, 40 years ago. So this kid
is pushing 60, and and he was, you know, he
had drug problems. He had little police problems. He all
this stuff. He drove his parents, his Christian parents nuts.
But but I always I never stopped believing him that.
And I had a chance to have a great, uh,

(20:02):
delightful call with him yesterday because I was checking in
on his parents. His parents are old. I want to
see how their, their, their, their health is doing. We
just had a delightful call. And then we had a
funny text back and forth and, and and and I
got to remind him. Oh, no, uh, he says, I
know that, uh, you probably think that, uh, all your,
you know, your all your efforts, uh, I, I'm not

(20:23):
a good example of, of your work, but there's. Oh,
absolutely you are. I take a long term approach. I
don't take a short term approach. I believe in the,
the big picture. And I see how you're living your
life and what you're doing with your wife and how
you're serving your community. I'm so proud of you. That
was 40 years later. It's like a grandparent role, and
I was just glad that God opened up the chance

(20:44):
for me to to remind him that there's somebody out
there that's still. things God can do great things in them,
for him, with him and through him.

S1 (20:53):
Yeah that's great.

S2 (20:54):
But grandparents, we can do this all the time. Yeah,
with our grandkids now.

S1 (21:00):
I think that's great, Tim. And I love that ministry
of encouragement because we're so we need it. And and
you know, I always say this, that in high school, uh,
even if you had a terrible team, their best game
of the year would be the game right after the
pep rally. You know, after everybody's cheering them on, they
they go out there with their chest sticking out and

(21:21):
they do a great job. Let's go to Florida. Pam
is listening to us. Hey, Pam, thank you so much
for calling. What's your question for Tim?

S4 (21:29):
Well, my question is, uh, I have a very Jezebel
type of daughter in law. We don't really get along.
And my my son is in the middle constantly. Um,
I don't even see my grandkids a lot and just
started to get to see him again. My son will
go pick them up. Um, or get them. We get

(21:50):
to the playground and I'm thinking, um, he's six and
she's just three, but there's no really communicating the Lord
to the kids, because I'm afraid that if he says
something to his mom that I talked about Jesus or
something like that, that'll cut it right off.

S1 (22:10):
So what's your so what's your question, Pam?

S4 (22:13):
How do you relate, uh, the Lord to to them
without getting your nose cut off?

S1 (22:19):
All right. Thanks for your question. Okay, Tim, what do
you want to say to Pam?

S2 (22:23):
You know, Pam, uh, there's two stories in the Bible
that come to my mind. Uh, probably one was all
we have time. But when Jesus was at the well
there in Samaria, and that lady came out in the
afternoon to get water because she had been married several times,
and she was just she kind of had the, uh, uh,
the Scarlet Letter on her. She was a marked woman

(22:45):
as the Jezebel over there. And and he just loved her.
He was kind to her. He he he showed great
interest in her, her life and the particulars of her life.
And and so I think the best way to be
a witness to those grandchildren is to love their mother,
be kind to their mother, be encouraging. And don't you know,

(23:09):
you know, yeah, she probably has a lot of issues
if she doesn't know Jesus. But that's Jesus responsibility to,
to to, uh, he'll draw her to the, to the
cross when he's ready. Meanwhile, what we represent in her
life is a chance to her to see somebody that
acts like Jesus, that is kind and merciful and and

(23:30):
she has hurts just like everybody else. She has fears
just like everybody else. And a lot of what you're
seeing in her behavior may be, uh, a major cry
for help. Um, and, and and so you have a chance.
I think that's the best way. And I think the
more you have a relationship with her, the more access
you will have to her kids and the less she

(23:52):
feels threatened by you because of the way you live
your life. Pam around her with kindness and and joy
and mercy and encouragement. I don't think she'd have a
whole lot of problems if you're that way with her grandkids.
Even even even if you mention Jesus name. So I
think sometimes we feel we have to lead these people

(24:13):
to Christ, and that's the work of the Holy Spirit.
Our job is to make sure that we're not an
obstacle or, uh, you know, in other words, in any
way confusing the message. And the best way we do
that is just go out there and love, you know, Jesus.
Jesus doubled down on on his commandments to us. You know,
he says, first of all, you know, love each other.

(24:36):
But but then he said, I want you to love.
I want you to love people the way I've loved you.
And he was talking to some guys at the time.
These disciples, I mean, they they had dissed his family. Uh,
you know, how can anything good come from up in
Nazareth and on and on. So I hope, uh, this

(24:56):
might sound like a stern response, Pam, but I mean
it in love. I you have a great chance to
be an amazing an amazing, uh, voice into that into
that lady your your daughter in law and in the process,
I think help your son to.

S1 (25:14):
A lot of grandparents are listening and you're in tough
relationships with, uh, with, uh, with your your child's spouse.
I want to pray for you, father. I pray that
you would heal these relationships not only for Pam, but
for all who are listening. Allow there to be just
health and strength and blessing. In Jesus name, Amen. How

(25:35):
do you parent a grandchild that's in college? We're going
to talk about that when we come back. Next up
on equip with Chris Brooks. Each day on equip, we
confront the cultural challenges of our time, offering biblical truth
with discernment and confidence in God's plans and purposes. Your
support as an Equipper helps us reach more people with

(25:56):
God's truth, and you'll receive exclusive monthly resources and updates
to encourage your spiritual life. Become an Equipper today and
partner with us in this vital ministry. Call 888644 4144
or go online to equip Radio.com. Chris Brooks here, reminding

(26:17):
you that today's program is pre-recorded. While we won't be
taking calls, we do want to connect with you on
social media. Hey there friends, welcome back to Equipped with
Chris Brooks. I want to say thanks to all of
you who are supporting the program. Thanks to Miss Lisa
in Highland Park, Illinois. New listener and supporter of the program.

(26:38):
So grateful for you, Lisa. Said. Maybe you've been listening.
You've been blessed and encouraged, never given before. This would
be a great time for you to support us. Your
generosity and God's grace are the only reasons we are here.
But as you give your greatest gifts, your best gift,
you enable us to equip Christians to more effectively live, share,
and defend their faith to run into the tough issues

(27:01):
of our day with relevant and biblical answers in your community.
And so, if you want to encourage and support the
Ministry of Equip, call now 8886 44 4144. That's 888644 4144.
As for today, Doctor Tim Kimmel is my guest today.

(27:21):
He is the founder of Grace Based Families along with
his wife, Darcy. They produce so many wonderful resources. We're
talking about one of their new resources DVD series, Grace
based Grandparenting Solving the Sticky Situations. There are some difficult
situations when you're a grandparent. You want to do it well.

(27:43):
Have a heart to do it. How do you navigate those?
We're going to take your calls and give wisdom here.
Let's go to Jeanette, who's listening in, uh, Titusville, Florida. Hey, Jeanette,
thank you so much for calling. What's your question for Tim?

S5 (27:57):
Thank you. I just got back last night from Phoenix
babysitting a two and a three and a half year old,
and it's exhausting, but it's the only gift I can
give my kids. Uh, it's the only gift so that
they could go away on a trip. But I come
home always disappointed because I feel like I have to
bite my tongue. They were. My kids were raised as Christians.

(28:20):
But now it's like, you know, encouraging them to walk
with God, and I can't. I just can't do it.
And it was like your previous caller, it's just like
we feel we failed. Um, because you can't talk about Jesus.
You can't pray about, you know, you can't. And, um,
it's very frustrating to be, you know, like looking in,

(28:43):
you know, and, um, and yet they will go to
church when I'm there. My daughter will go, but, um,
they only go when I'm there, you know? So. Yeah. Um,
so it's so frustrating as Christian parents wanting to see
them do well and not make mistakes we made as parents.

(29:04):
But it's it's also so challenging. And I do pray
and I even put a scripture under each of their beds,
you know.

S1 (29:12):
Sounds like you're.

S5 (29:13):
Praying.

S1 (29:13):
For them. It sounds like, Jeanette, you're doing a lot
of things right. Tim. What's your response?

S2 (29:17):
Yeah, yeah. You know, Jeanette, you are there's a lot,
of lot of grandparents out there feeling what you're feeling,
you know? And you were you you really deliberately tried
to raise them to love Jesus in, in a Christian home.
And then you see them going their different ways. Sometimes
it's it's it's part of the kind of configuration of
the person they married and they influence their whatever. But but,

(29:41):
you know, I think of Philippians one six, he who
began a good work in your children will perfect it
until the day of Christ Jesus. And so, so, uh,
even though they may not show like they're they're caring
a lot. I think as time goes on, kids get older,
life gets a little more sophisticated. Who knows what. I
would never give up hope on that. In the meantime,

(30:01):
I think you're doing a wonderful job. I know what
it means to have to work hard. By the way,
we live in the Phoenix Scottsdale area. So you were
out at our place, Jeanette. And, um, and next week,
my wife and I, I'm speaking at a family camp
in Texas, and we're taking four of our grandkids with us.
So we're planning on probably having to go to the
emergency room when we get back. Uh, you know, because

(30:22):
because you're so tired. But but but you know what?
What you did is you came and you served them
at a heart level. You served them in a way
that give your kids a break and, and and in
the and you also demonstrated the love of Jesus the
whole way and and showed a tender mercy to those kids.
That stuff carries an enormous influence because you have a

(30:45):
title that no other woman that could have done that
for them last week. Your grandma.

S1 (30:51):
That's right.

S2 (30:52):
And and and God attaches influence to that word. And
so your, your your stuff was highly and just keep
doing what you're doing and keep praying for him and
watch God do amazing work. You said, you know, you
you wish you would have had it early on in
your life or something like that. I bet if we
went back and you looked at your life at the

(31:12):
same age, you realize, wow, other people could have thought,
thought I was going to be a train wreck too.
And God got Ahold of me and he'll get Ahold
of them in due time.

S1 (31:23):
Thank you so much for calling. And if you stay
on the line, we'll get you a copy of Extreme Grandparenting.
What a wonderful book and subtitle, The Ride of Your
Life by Tim and Darcy Kimball. Kimmel, I want you
to stay on the line. And you sound like a great,
grand grandparent.

S2 (31:38):
So wonderful.

S1 (31:39):
So awesome testimony. You know, I'm trying to just listen
and soak this in. And I approach this conversation with
a ton of humility because I'm not a grandparent myself.
But there are a few things that you said that
I feel like are just pure gold. And one of
which is you play the long game. I love that right?
When it comes to parenting and grandparenting, playing the long

(32:02):
game is really important and loving your child's spouse. Uh, man,
that's a great opportunity. They are the gatekeepers to your children.
Grandchildren trying to fight, argue, and bicker with them doesn't
seem like a game that you'll ultimately win, even if
you're right in your convictions. Um, but let's go to

(32:23):
Gail's question. Gail is, uh, listening. She left this on Facebook.
Thank you, Gail, first off, for listening, but Gail says this. Uh,
do you have any suggestions for grandparents of teenagers, young
college students who were close to them. But now they've
moved away. Not not as close now. What do you
give by way of advice?

S2 (32:44):
Well, we have something going for us that our generation
before us didn't have. No generation before us had. We
have in our purse or our back pocket a device
that can communicate a strong word to the people we
love any time we want to. And so that is

(33:05):
where technology can really come to your aid. Now, I
think we got to be careful that we don't inundate
them and overwhelm them. But I think strong words at
the right time. It's amazing what that does for a
grandkid off at college. Let me give you an example.
I because you had mentioned that we might talk about this,
and I went back through my granddaughter Riley, and she

(33:25):
is leaving for college here in a couple of weeks.
But she graduated from it was graduation day. And here's
just a text I sent to her. It's your big day.
High school played four great years in your life. Significant
in life defining years. But they're coming to an end tonight.
You did childhood and your teenage years. Well, I'm real

(33:46):
proud of you. Enjoy this day. You've earned the celebration. Papa.

S1 (33:52):
Wow.

S2 (33:53):
You know, it doesn't take long to write something like that. Yeah,
but when that's dropped into a kid, who. Who knows
what pressure they're under at school, who knows how lonely
they may be feeling? Who knows the stupid things? They.
They might have gone out and done, some party things
they really regret. And then they hear, here's a grandma
or granddad just still loves him, believes in him, and

(34:16):
it's an unshakable love.

S1 (34:19):
Yes.

S2 (34:20):
We get to do that. I mean, the, the, the
the settlers couldn't do that when they said the kids
left to go to California from, you know, from Illinois.
You never saw him again.

S1 (34:29):
That's right.

S2 (34:29):
You might get a letter every year.

S1 (34:32):
That's so good.

S2 (34:33):
We can have an active role. Does that make sense?

S1 (34:36):
You know, I feel like there's probably hundreds of people
listening to us right now that's going to simply cut
and paste and copy what you just wrote to your sweet,
sweet granddaughter. And I'm telling you, that was absolute gold.
Can I just humbly suggest a low tech option as well?
I love that we have the technology, but I will

(34:57):
tell you, I remember being a college student and back
then my grandmother used to call and I was a
little bit embarrassed. We we had answering machines, and I
remember pushing play on my answering machine and my grandmother saying,
are you covering up? Are you wearing enough layers? You know,
and all my friends would kind of laugh. But one
of the low tech options I want to recommend is

(35:19):
just sending cards. Maybe once a month. Yes, sending a
card when you're a college student to get a piece
of mail, especially in this day and age is such
a special and thoughtful thing. Who would have ever thought
that the act of handwriting a note or a card
would communicate such deep thoughtfulness and love? But it's a

(35:42):
low tech option as well. So even for the parents
out there, use the technology. As Tim is saying, man,
if you can FaceTime, if you know how to text,
if you know how to do all those chats and
direct messaging and all that stuff, praise God you're a
step ahead. But even if you don't know how to
do all those things, go get some hallmark cards and

(36:03):
just send once a month or more frequently. And I'm
telling you, that will just win a grandchild over. And oh,
by the way, no college student will ever reject snacks.
You send some snacks, a care package, and you just
made a friend for life. I love this, and I

(36:23):
and I love the wisdom, the grace again, the grace
of you and Darcy kind of live from. We have
to be driven by the Word of God. There's no
sense of compromise in all the materials that I've ever
read from you and Darcy, and I'll throw in there
as well. There's never a sense of compromise, not when

(36:46):
it comes to discipline and discipleship. Uh, not when it
comes to standards, but it's always tempered by an unwavering grace.
And I think that's because that's how we are parented
by God. And so I absolutely love I absolutely love it.

(37:06):
And and I'm so grateful for it. Alright, we're going
to take one final break. But when we come back
we're going to take a call around blended families. Uh,
what do we do if we're in a blended family? Folks,
this is, uh, a great resource. It's called. It's a
DVD based resource. Grace based Grandparenting solving the Sticky situations.

(37:30):
You can find out more on how to order this
resource from Grace based families by going to our website
Equip radio. We have links there for you to find
out how to navigate some of these sticky situations. What
do you do if you're forbidden to share your faith?

(37:51):
What are some of the rules on how to navigate
sacred cows? Limited access? What about divorce? What about babysitting,
long distance grandparenting, and so much more. Go to equip radio.
Don't forget social media is available to you 24 hours
a day, seven days a week. Equip radio. We'll be
right back. Where do you go to get information about

(38:14):
how to think critically and live compassionately in your community?
You know, for many, they turn to equip for daily
encouragement and biblical instruction. And when you become an equipper,
your gifts are empowering people across the country to grow
spiritually and live out the gospel in a rapidly changing culture. Together,
we're reaching more men and women than we could on
our own. Become an equipper today. Simply call 888644 4144. Or,

(38:38):
if you prefer to automate your gift online, go to
equip org. Here's a surprising statistic. Only 32% of Protestant
churchgoers read the Bible daily. If you find it hard
to stay consistent, The Quiet Time Kickstart by Rachel Jones
is for you. This Grace-filled guide offers a simple, sustainable

(39:00):
way to grow in God's Word without the pressure of perfection.
I would love to sing you a copy as a
thank you for your gift of any amount to equip
this month. Call (888) 644-4144 or give online at Equip Radio.
Chris Brooks here reminding you that today's program is pre-recorded

(39:22):
and we won't be taking your calls. Welcome back to
equipped with Chris Brooks. Tim Kimmel is a gift to us,
and it is always awesome whenever he's able to stop
by and answer questions. Such is the case today. Thank you, Tim,
for being with us. We're going to go to Illinois.

(39:42):
Vonda has been patiently waiting. Uh, has a question there. Vonda,
what's your question for Tim? Hey, Vonda, are you there?

S4 (39:55):
Yes.

S6 (39:55):
I'm here. Can you hear me?

S1 (39:56):
I can hear you loud and clear. Thanks for listening.
What's your question for Tim?

S6 (40:01):
So, Tim, um, I have a grandson at age of 14,
lives in Ohio in a blended family. So he's with
his mom. He's not with my son. He's also, um, blended.
I mean, um, a mixed breed, um, African American and Caucasian.

(40:24):
And over here on my side is a blended family
as well. So it's it's hard to communicate at this age.
I reach out through the year and sporadically he'll return. Hi, Mimi.
How you doing? Um, and then there's a big gap,

(40:46):
and then he gets the phone taken, and then there's
no communication. So, uh, last week, he wants to come over,
and he wants to visit for a week before he
goes back to school. And. Okay, I said, okay. Um, Papa,
Greg wants you to come. I want you to come. Now,
what you have to do is get with your dad

(41:09):
and make the plans, and all is good. So he
texted me back and says, why not? Wh why the letter? Why?
There was dead silence. So how do I communicate? And
I'm feeling that he's really, um, angry.

S1 (41:30):
He's. He's in a tough situation. Okay. Uh, Tim, this
is a tough situation. What's your recommendation to Vonda?

S2 (41:37):
Well, there's two things here that, first of all, uh,
there's a generic, uh, issue that your, your grandson has
and that he's 14. He's right in the middle of
the teenage years, and I've heard those years best described
as a 24 hour a day, seven day a week,
375 day a year battle to keep from being embarrassed.

(42:01):
It's just a very awkward. So don't be surprised if
it's difficult sometimes communicating with him. He will get through that.
But he's also in a tug of war between two parents.
Two competing parents. Correct. And so so so that puts
him in a situation so so it I'm not sure why.

(42:25):
Why was the condition that he could come and be
with you for a week, that he had to talk
with his father? What what what was that about? Why
why why did you put that on there?

S6 (42:35):
Well, because over the past maybe couple of couple of years,
he really does not, like, communicate where his whereabouts. And
he doesn't talk to his dad about it. Things that
he his movement, you know, which has been. Yeah. Uh,

(42:57):
communicated to me by my son.

S2 (42:59):
Oh, okay. I guess I guess I'm not. I'm on
the outside looking in, and I'm sure there's a whole
lot of nuances and layers to this thing, but obviously
he has some deep seated issues between him and his dad.
But you have a chance to have him for a
whole week in your house, to love on him and
care for him, and I guess I don't know it.

(43:21):
Maybe I would say if you could go back and
and repair anything, maybe don't put that condition on them,
because it sounds like you're trying to get him to
talk to his dad, which would be a great thing,
but that's just not happening. But why don't you? But
at least you could have him come and just be
with you and and your husband and and have a
great week with you guys and just love on him
and all because these things, um, uh, this, this, this

(43:46):
problem he's having with his dad wasn't resolved some blowout
in the past. It's a slow leak for a long
period of time. Yeah. And and I think it puts
you in a much better position to, um, represent a
hope for that situation if you just let them come
and be with you. And maybe that's why I think
he's saying, oh, if there's going to be conditions on
this thing or you're just trying to get me to

(44:08):
talk to him, uh, you know, that that puts him
in an awkward situation. Does that make sense, Vonda? I mean, um,
I think I see what you're the good thing you're
trying to do, but I don't know whether you necessarily
need to do that. You have a chance to have
him come be with you.

S1 (44:22):
And, you know, and.

S2 (44:23):
I would just take that chance. Yeah. It doesn't sound
like his father's permission is required anyway.

S1 (44:29):
You know, I love this, uh, the wisdom that you're
giving here. And, uh. And, Tim, you know, sometimes it
seems that what you're implying sometimes is better for adults
just to talk to each other, not to expect too
much out of the kid. And I love this thought that,
you know, he's dealing with a generic affliction. He's a
14 year old and, you know, all of them, uh,

(44:51):
just about, uh, struggle with, uh, communication, emotions. And there
are Vonda has, uh, articulated very well some of the
unique complexities, uh, that, uh, this grandson is facing. But
I do pray that Vonda, uh, he would find safety, solace,
love and encouragement in your home and praise God that
he wants to come visit with grandma. That is an awesome,

(45:14):
awesome thing that communicates volumes about you to stay on
the line. We can get you a copy of extreme Grandparenting.
Maybe some of the wisdom you're looking for will be
found in a book. Tim, it's amazing how quickly time flies.
You're an absolute gift to the body of Christ. You're
an encouragement to my heart. I love all of the resources.
In addition to the DVD versions, there are digital downloads

(45:38):
that's available as well, and I want to encourage folks
to go to Radio.com. Org. We have links for the
Grace based Family Resources. Thank you so much, Tim, for joining.

S2 (45:49):
Well, it's my honor. Thank you Chris.

S1 (45:51):
Have a great day and God bless, uh, friends, as, uh,
as we wrap up this program, I do want to
make a special announcement for those who are in the
Detroit area. If you're in my neck of the woods,
I am so excited to be partnering with Moody Theological Seminary. Uh,
coming up really soon, I'm going to teach an eight

(46:12):
week course on apologetics, How to defend your faith. Apologetics
in world religions. It's going to be awesome. It's going
to take place on Wednesday evenings. I'd love to see
you in the course. And obviously, this is our ongoing
commitment to equip Christians to more effectively live, share, and
defend their faith. I love our partnership with Moody Theological Seminary. Well,

(46:35):
my friends, I hope you've been blessed by the program.
If so, we'd love your support prayerfully and financially. Uh,
please call 888644 4144. That's 888644 4144. And don't forget,
Grandparenting is such an honor. So take advantage of the

(46:55):
opportunity until we're together again next time. Remember, equip with
Chris Brooks is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry
of Moody Bible Institute.
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