Social "norms" are a facade. Here's why:

 People love putting you in boxes: Ben the accountant. Jess the lawyer. Steve the Vet. We're taught from a young age to aim for stability, safety, and predictability. Deviating from that is seen as a threat. Not just to you, but to the very framework they've built their lives around.

It's not just a career path.

It's an identity.

And when you show them another way, it makes them question their own choices. How do you avoid this clash with the "normal" and "safe" career path most people prescribe to? The answer may surprise you.

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Topics:

Escape the 9 to 5 

Escape the 9-5 

Career Coach 

Career Advice 

Career Guidance 

Career Transition 

Career Change 

Next Step Careers Limited

Auckland Wellington Christchurch New Zealand

Episode Transcript

Shure MV7 (00:00):
You're at a family gathering, surrounded by people
who've taken the normal path.
Steady jobs, predictable routines, Aclear, conventional career trajectory.
You casually mention your plansfor a different career path.
One where you choose your hours,have control of your time, and

(00:22):
define your own job description.
It's a path most people secretly want.
To escape the 9 to 5 and designa career of purpose and meaning.
But if you suggest anythinglike this, anything that goes
against the norm, you'll see it.
That look.

(00:42):
A furrowed brow.
A dismissive comment.
Or maybe, even awkward silence.
Why do people react so stronglyto things that challenge
their idea of what's normal?
Here's the truth.
People love putting you in boxes.

(01:03):
Ben the accountant.
Jess the lawyer.
Steve the Vet.
We're taught from a young age to aim forstability, safety, and predictability.
Deviating from that is seen as a threat.
Not just to you, But to the very frameworkthey've built their lives around.

(01:25):
It's not just a career path.
It's an identity.
And when you show them another way Itmakes them question their own choices.
do you avoid this clash withthe normal and safe career path
that most people prescribe to?
The answer may surprise you.

(01:46):
You're a working professionalstuck in a 9 to 5 job.
Stuck in a safe but unfulfilling job.
Stuck in a career based onother people's expectations.
Stuck in the societal norm ofa 9 to 5, Monday to Friday job.
I'm career coach Dr.
Steve O'Leary, host andcreator of Escape the 9 to 5.

(02:08):
I help other working professionals likeyou take the next steps in their career
and design a career that works for them.
And as a career coach I see alot of unhappy professionals.
People who chose a career whentheir brain wasn't fully formed.
Reaching their late 20s or early30s with career regret, but feeling

(02:31):
trapped by the golden handcuffs.
Statistically speaking, theaverage person spends 90, 000
hours at work over their lifetime.
That's 90, 000 hours, following ascript you may not even believe in.
Imagine reaching the end of yourlife and realising you spent it

(02:52):
living someone else's idea of normal.
And for what?
To conform?
To fit in?
To avoid discomfort atthe family barbecue.
Remember this, when people react to nontraditional choices, they're not judging
you, they're reckoning with themselves.

(03:15):
If you try something different,you're unintentionally exposing
their limiting beliefs.
Beliefs like, you should get a solidjob, you should do the responsible thing.
Enjoying your job is a luxury onlythe rich and famous can afford.
But when you really think aboutit more, this logic is flawed.

(03:37):
And the social norms weadhere to are a facade.
Let's acknowledge the uncomfortable truth.
We all die.
If you're going to live,live on your terms.
Western culture, like manyothers, has its unwritten rules.
Whether it's how a normal maleshould style his hair, or how a

(04:00):
successful adult should structuretheir career, these rules aren't just
suggestions, they're expectations.
And the people who cling to these rulesthe hardest, they're often the most
uncomfortable when someone breaks them.
Let me give you an example.
When I walk into a room, and Imention I'm an entrepreneur, work

(04:23):
part time as an emergency vet, andspend most of my time as a career
coach, I can see the reactions.
For some people, it's fascinating.
For others, it's deeply uncomfortable.
Why?
Because my choices challenge theirdeep held beliefs about what's safe,

(04:44):
normal, or acceptable for a job.
the more structured and safesomeone's career path is, the harder
it is for them to process someoneelse stepping outside the box.
And here's the interestingpart, it's not about me.
It's about them.
The truth is, when you make a choicethat's outside the norm, whether

(05:07):
it's your career, your appearance,or your life philosophy, you're
holding up a mirror to others.
And for some, that reflection makesthem realise they've been living life
based on assumptions rather than truths.
A lot of these rules, these norms, thesestructures, they're not grounded in fact.

(05:30):
They're traditions, habits, andfears passed down over generations.
The 9 to 5 job?
It's barely been around 100 years.
What's the deeper truth?
I don't want to be morbid, but everysingle one of us is going to die.

(05:51):
Not only are we going to die, but theresearch shows that at the average
funeral less than 10 people will cry.
Let that sink in for a moment.
Not only are you going to die, butfor the vast, vast majority of people,
they're not going to care enough to cry.

(06:12):
Assuming they even attend your funeral.
Once you acknowledge death, once youtruly embrace the fact that your life
is finite, once you realise how littlepeople actually care, Those unwritten
rules start to lose their power.
Here's what acknowledging death does.
It forces you to confront whetheryou are living a life for yourself

(06:36):
or someone else's expectations.
It frees you up from the fearof judgement because in the end,
those judgements won't matter.
And it pushes you to design acareer, a life and a legacy that
will actually mean something to you.
But breaking away from the safe is hard.

(06:56):
People around you might resist it.
They might criticise you.
They might judge you.
Not because your choices arewrong, but because you're
challenging their belief system.
So here's my challenge.
Reflect on where you might stillbe living by someone else's rules.
Is it your career?

(07:17):
Your standard of living?
Or even something assimple as your appearance.
And if the thought of breaking those rulesmakes you nervous, ask yourself, would
I do if I wasn't afraid of being judged?
What would I do if I realised Oneday, my life will come to an end.

(07:38):
Remember, people'sdiscomfort is not about you.
It's about exposing their own fears.
as you design a career that works foryou, start by changing your mindset.
Acknowledge death, embracelife, and live unapologetically.
Thanks for listening to Escape the 9 to 5.

(08:00):
I'm Dr.
Steve O'Reilly, your host, and thanksfor being part of our movement.
See you next time.