January 13, 2025 • 75 mins
This episode is a full length Russian folktale told by a grandfather to his two grand daughters. It all begins with a string of turnip robberies that lead down a rabbit hole of trips to the deep forest and a series of enchanted objects !
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:35):
Hello and welcome to Esoterica and Nonsense, a podcast.
Where we discuss myths, legends,folk tales, fairy tales,
supernatural phenomenon and religions from around the world.
I'm your host. Annabelle.
Pepper, Bell, Banana. Hell.
Today is story time. If you're new here, welcome.
(00:59):
Every week we cuddle up, we drink tea and we have a story
time. Sometimes I go on long
religious. Rants sometimes I just read
stories from storybooks and today is going to be story time.
I am actually done drinking my tea.
(01:20):
I considered bringing it up, butI had so much tea today I was
drinking Golden Monkey. It's so good.
It's a Chinese tea and. I think some consider it a
yellow tea, which is very cool. But it's delicious and I highly
recommend it. Golden Monkey, But right now I
(01:41):
am drinking filtered water with a pinch of pink salt.
Get your electrolytes everyone. Don't forget your electrolytes.
I hope that you are doing well. I hope you are taking good care
of yourself. It is not easy to be a human
being here on planet Earth. We're all doing our best, and
(02:03):
what I dream for all of us is that we focus.
On our health and the health of our planet.
I don't really care about money.I don't care about ambition.
All I want to do is be eating fruit in the sun with my titties
out. Hello.
(02:23):
And I really hope we can do thattogether as a team.
That's my dream. So if you haven't done it
already, I recommend making sometea, maybe making some coffee,
having some water. Do your thing baby boy, and
let's cuddle up for story. Time.
I'm excited today I have hand selected a story.
(02:45):
Which is a Russian folk tale andit is called the stolen turnips,
the magic Tablecloth, the sneezing Goat.
And the wooden whistle. I would like to wet my whistle.
Hello. I can't wait.
(03:06):
Are you ready? Yeah, you're ready.
OK. Here we go, darling.
This is the story which old Peter used to tell whenever
either Vanya or Marusia was. Cross already I'm hooked.
(03:28):
Vanya and Morusia. Hot.
I can already tell these are hotgirls and their cross love that.
We love that. This did not often happen, but
it would be no use to pretend that it never happened at all.
Sometimes it was a Vanya who scolded Marusia, and sometimes
(03:51):
it was Marusia who scolded Vanya.
Yeah, they sound really hot. I'm imagining.
Like scrunchies, I'm imagining feathered bangs, I'm imagining
like a maroon brown lipstick. I'm imagining like classic, like
(04:12):
the USSR was just ended. It's the year 1990, you know?
Like, I'm really seeing the fullfantasy of the feathered bangs
and the scrunchie. Yeah, I'm really loving Vanya's
vibe and Mauricio's vibe. Sometimes there were two
(04:33):
scoldings going on at once. And old Peter did not like
crossness in the Hut. Whoever did the scolding, he did
not like it. He said it spoiled his tobacco.
And put a. Sour taste in his tea.
(04:54):
Oh well, we can't have that. We can't have it.
And of course, when the childrenremembered that they were
spoiling their grandfather's teaand tobacco, they stopped just
as quickly as they could, unlesstheir tongues had run right away
with them, which happens sometimes, you know, even to
(05:15):
grown up people. This story used to be told in
two ways. It was either the tale of an old
man who was bothered by a cross old woman, or the tale of an old
woman who was bothered by a cross old man.
And the moment old Peter began the story, both children would
(05:37):
ask at once, which is the cross.1.
For then they would know which of them old Peter thought.
Was in the wrong. This time it's the old woman.
Said the grandfather. But as like as not.
It will be the old man next. And then any quarreling there
(06:01):
was came to an end and was forgotten before the end of the
story. Stop it.
This is cute. This is so cute.
A grandfather is telling this story to squash the beef and
this is the story. What a beautiful premise.
(06:22):
Oh my gosh, I love this. See.
Pause. Like, This is why I made this
podcast, because I did not grow up hearing folk tales or fairy
tales from my parents or my grandparents.
That's all I wanted to know. I wanted to know about fairies.
I wanted to know about the ancestors.
(06:42):
I wanted to know about Dragons. I wanted to know about the
ancient world. I wanted to hear the stories.
Hello. And this is just.
Touching my heart right now. This is a story that a
grandfather would tell his superhot and like stoic Russian
granddaughters. I'm just loving this.
I'm loving this. All right.
(07:05):
Are you ready? This is our story.
Once an old man and an old womanlived in a little wooden house.
All round the house there was a garden crammed with flowers and
potatoes. And beetroots.
And cabbages. And in one corner of the house
(07:26):
there was a narrow wooden stairway which went up and up,
twisting and twisting into a high tower.
In the top of the tower there was a dovecot, and on the top of
the dovecot was a flat root. What's a dovecot?
Am I crazy? Does everyone know what a
(07:46):
dovecot is except Annabelle? Dovecot.
What is it we're going on? Google everyone.
PSA. We're Googling Dovecot.
What could it mean? Come on you guys, I know you can
search a little faster than this.
My internet's not been wonderful.
(08:06):
OK, a dove coat or dove coat is a columbarium.
It is a structure intended to house pigeons or doves.
OK. OK, OK.
I know exactly what this is. OK.
It's almost like a Dome tower. It's like a small.
(08:30):
It's a birdhouse. Harry Potter, anyone?
If you've seen Harry Potter where everyone keeps their owls,
it's like that. It's like a small tower where
you keep pigeons. Oh, that's why it's called a
dovecote or dovecot. It looks like.
It looks like it's I. Don't have a definitive answer
(08:50):
if it's dovecote or. Dovecot, but we're going to say.
Dovecot, because that's how it'sspelled.
Most of the time, and I love this.
We learned a new word today. Everyone love that, OK.
So where are we? This old couple lives in the
Super cute cottage. There's flowers, there's
potatoes, there's beet roots, there's cabbages.
(09:14):
We're in like Russia right now so I'm pretty sure they probably
make borscht fresh from the garden, which I'm loving.
I'm just adding this in. I'm making an educated
assumption right now. And then in the.
Corner of their little wooden. House we have the narrow wooden
stairway. Which goes up.
(09:34):
And. Up it twists and twists into the
high tower. Yes, got it.
OK, so on the top of the high high tower is our dovecot.
This is where they keep the pigeons.
And on the top of the dovecot isa flat roof.
You know what? Take me there.
I want a pigeon tower. I want a dovecot.
(09:55):
Can I have a dove cop for Christmas?
OK, so now the old woman was never content with the doings of
the old man. Hypical.
She doesn't even need to explain, I already get it.
She scolded him all day and she scolded him all night.
(10:17):
If there was too much rain, it was the old man's fault if there
was a drought. And all green things were
parched for lack of water. Well the old man was to blame
for not altering the weather. Damn OK, this sounds like
resentment. This sounds like couples therapy
is on the menu and. Though the old man was quite old
(10:43):
and tired, it was all the same to her how much work she put on
his shoulders. The garden was full, there was
no room in it at all, not even for a single pea.
And all of a sudden, the old woman sets her heart on growing.
Turnips Honestly, I am kind of living for the old woman.
(11:09):
I'm loving this energy. This is like, this is my kind of
girl, you know? I like the girl who is bossy.
I'm loving this and I love Turnips.
Turnips are underrated. We.
Need to talk about turnips? Why aren't we growing turnips?
Eating turnips? Turnips are so good roasted.
They make such a good chip. Oh imagine doing like a lot cut
(11:32):
if you will, but with turnips. Oh my God the children these
days don't even know Gen. Z.
Do you even know what a turnip is?
Google it. OK, so our dear girl, I'm going
to call her Jenya. I'm sorry.
Her name is Jenya and I know it.I know it.
(11:54):
OK. So.
The old woman demands turnips ofher worthless husband.
And he says, but there is no room in the garden.
Sew them up on top of the dovecot, says the old woman.
But there is no earth. There, he says, Well, carry
(12:15):
earth up and put it there, says she.
Oh my God, yeah, this is Kunti. So the old man labored up and
down with his tired old bones and covered the top of the dove
cocked with good black earth. He could only take up a very
little at a time because he was old and weak, and because the.
Stairs were so narrow and dangerous that he had to hold on
(12:38):
with both hands and carry the earth in a bag, which he held in
his teeth. Oh, this is kind of fucked up.
Yeah. She's doing him dirty.
This is not nice. This isn't nice.
She should at least help him. I I get it.
I'm getting the moral of the story here.
I'm getting it. I'm getting it.
Jenya. I love her, but this is a lot.
(12:59):
You're doing a lot to Boris. I'm again, these are my names,
but I've decided. Sorry about it.
Boris's teeth were so strong that they, oh sorry, his teeth
were so strong. Because he had been biting
crusts all his life. Aw, the old woman left him
(13:20):
nothing else, for she took all the crumb for herself.
The old man did his best, and byevening the top of the dovecot
was covered with earth, and he had sown it with turnip seed.
Oh, Boris is nice the next. Day and the day after that, and
every day after, the old woman scolded the old man till he went
(13:44):
up to the dovecot to see how those turnip seeds were getting
on. Are they ready to eat yet?
She said They are not ready to eat.
He replied. Is the green sprouting?
She asked. The green is sprouting, he
replied. At last there came a day when
(14:06):
the old man came down from the dovecot and said The turnips are
doing finally quite big as they're getting, but all the
best ones have been stolen away.Oh no, no, no, this is not good.
Jenya is going to flip. Stolen.
Away cried the old woman. Shaking with rage.
(14:29):
And have you lived all these years and not learned how to
keep thieves from a turnip bed on the top of a dovecot on the
top of a tower on the top of a house?
Out with you and don't you dare come back till you have caught
the thieves. Damn this is treacherous.
(14:49):
Who do you think? The thieves.
Are they have to be little critters, right?
Little hedgehogs. Maybe other.
Maybe they're hedgehogs who wanted the turnips.
I want to hang out with the hedgehogs eating turnips.
Yeah. Honestly, I'm.
I did love Jenya at first, but I'm starting to love Boris more.
I want to hang out with Boris and grow turnips and relax.
(15:12):
Come on. So the old man did not dare to
tell her that the door had been bolted, although he knew it had
because he had bolted it himself.
Of course he did, because he's athorough pepper.
He hurried away out of the house, more because he wanted to
get out of earshot of her scolding than because he had any
(15:35):
hope. Of finding the thieves.
They may be. Birds thinks he.
Or the little brown squirrels. Who else could climb so high
without? Using the stairs.
And how is an old man like me toget a hold of them flying
through the tops of the high trees, and running up and down
the branches? And so he wandered away without
(15:59):
his dinner, into the deep forest.
Oh Boris, Boris in the Deep forest.
Oh my God, could you imagine that book a little, a little
kids book illustrated Boris in the Deep Forest.
And he's going on a turn up quest.
Oh my God. And he collects turnips and he
(16:20):
talks to the hedgehogs and the brown squirrels and the pigeons
and they all go on a turnip quest sign Hello.
Sign me up. Turnip quest.
Boris in the deep forest. I'm sorry, Hollywood, where are
you? I'm ready.
I have ideas ready to go. They're flowing right now.
(16:43):
So but God is good to old men. Hasn't he given me two little
pigeons who nearly always are asmerry?
As all little pigeons should be.Stop, I'm going to cry.
And God led the old man through the forest.
(17:04):
Though the old. Man thought he was just
wandering on, trying to lose himself and forget the scolding
voice of the old woman. Stop it.
I can't give it. I can't get over this sentence.
Hasn't he given me two little pigeons who nearly always are as
(17:25):
merry as little? Pigeons should be get out of
here. That's the relationship with God
that I want. I want God.
To give me two little pigeons, who are nearly always as merry
as a little pigeon should be. Stop it Boris in the.
(17:46):
Forest is going to be a sleeper hit.
This new generation of kids is going to love it.
It's going to be like, you know what it's going to be like?
It's going to be like frog and toad vibe mixed with the What's
that kids book where the old lady cooks Stew.
(18:09):
She looks like Baba Yaga. You know what I'm talking about.
She's like this old, like babushka and she like, cooks a
Stew. It's like the whole premise of
the book. Yeah.
Imagine those two worlds combining like this old wench
Baba Yaga with frog and toad. Sign me up.
Stop eating borscht and going onturnip.
(18:31):
Quests so. After the old man had walked a
long way through the dark green forest.
He saw a little Hut standing under the pine trees.
There was no smoke coming from the chimney, but there were such
a chattering in the Hut that youcould hear it far away.
(18:53):
It was like coming near a Rookery at evening or a
disturbing a lot of starlings. What's a Rookery?
Do you know what a Rookery is? What is a Rookery?
Oh I love, that's a great word don't you think?
Rookery. A Rookery is a breeding colony
(19:14):
of rooks, typically seen as a collection of nests high in a
clump of trees. Oh interesting.
So I think by rooks they mean birds, right?
Also, interestingly enough, sometimes Rookery are used as
slang terms. For a collection of housing,
(19:35):
specifically things like slums, that is.
So fascinating. Get out of here.
I'm. Learning so many new.
Words a Rookery. And with that.
Let's take a break. Hello.
Traveller, have you forgotten that you are an incredible 1 of
(20:01):
the kind Pepper? There is no one on planet Earth
like you. Do you know how incredible that
is? Never forget it.
It might take time, it might take practice, but whatever your
dreams are, you can attain them.Yes you can.
And you know that it's true. I believe in you.
(20:22):
I'm so proud of you. One step at a time and you're
going to make it. And we're back.
We're learning new words today. We are learning what dove carts
are and rookeries. And I'm having the time of my
life and I'm. Having some water because.
(20:46):
Hydration feels so good. Being in my 30s has been so wild
because now I'm fully sober and I never planned on being fully
sober. I've I've been like smoking weed
since I was 16 and then when I woke up one day when I was 28 I
(21:06):
just stopped smoking weed. It was so bizarre.
Never planned. I imagined myself smoking my
whole life. I love psychedelics but now I'm
in my 30s and I just feel high off of life and there's just
nothing like drinking salted water and feeling fully alive.
I can feel my cells tingling. Life is a high is a high.
(21:30):
Reality is a hard drug. You can't convince me otherwise.
I feel like when you learn to enjoy reality, it really is the
high that keeps on giving. It really is.
But I support. I support you, whoever you are.
I support you. I'm not.
(21:50):
I'm not on some PSA convincing you to get sober, I'm just
saying like my 16 year old self would never believe that I would
be drinking water and and tripping.
Also, OK, not to go super off topic, but a few weeks ago I did
(22:14):
an episode about Gateway experiences.
Specifically declassified CIA documents which.
Talk about gateway experiences and also the holographic theory
of the universe and so I found this playlist of gateway
experience meditations on YouTube and now I.
(22:35):
Believe I'm on day 11. I've been doing them every day
and it has been mind blowing. It's been life changing.
They use different frequencies in each ear.
You have to wear headphones and they put different frequencies
in each of your ears. And then there's also like a
guided meditation portion where there are directions.
(22:56):
And I'm telling you, I feel likeI'm rewiring my entire nervous
system. It is so.
Wild. A few days ago I was listening
to one while I was falling asleep and I ended up dozing off
and I woke up twitching. It wasn't scary but like my I
could feel the electricity pulsing through my body and it
woke me up. Like I actually like convulsed.
(23:19):
It was so interesting and I actually do.
Meditate a lot and if if you don't know, I do guided
meditations for every new moon and full moon here in the
podcast and on my Patreon. I'm also going to start
releasing more meditations for people if you would like to
subscribe and support the podcast.
(23:39):
But my point is, these gateway experiences are a different
animal because these noises thatthey play, which are called
binaural beats, really do something to your body.
And I find that even if I zone out and I'm not following the
directions of the guided meditation, I can feel energy
pulsing in my body in a very oddand interesting.
(24:02):
Way so anyway, do what you will with that, but I'm telling you a
little salt in your water and a daily meditation and you're
going to be you're going to be high as a kite.
I'm telling you, it's pretty cool, you guys.
OK. So where?
Where were we, darling? We were here with.
(24:23):
Boris, we were in the woods and.That's where he came up to a
little Hut. Right.
Oh yes. There we are.
We're at a little Hut in the pine trees deep in the forest.
There's smoke coming out of the chimney, and he's hearing all
the chattering, and he's that's where we learn the new word.
(24:44):
The noise coming from the Hut was almost like coming across a
Rookery at evening, or disturbing a lot of starlings.
And as the old man came slowly nearer to the Hut, he thought he
saw little faces looking at him through the window and peeping
through the door. He could not be sure because
(25:06):
they were gone so quickly and all the time the chattering went
on louder and louder, till the old man nearly put his hands to
his ears, and then suddenly the chattering stopped.
There was not a sound, no noise at all.
The old man stood still. A squirrel dropped a.
(25:30):
Fur a fur. Cone close by, and the old man
was startled by the fall of it, because everything else was so
quiet. Whatever there is in the Hut, it
won't be worse than the old woman, says the old man to
himself. So he makes the sign.
(25:50):
Of the Holy. Cross and steps up to the little
Hut and takes a long look through the door.
There was no one to be seen and you would have thought the Hut
was empty. Stop.
I'm so excited. Are they trolls?
I think they're. Trolls, right?
What do you think? The old man took a step inside,
(26:12):
bending under the little low door.
Still he could see nobody, only a great heap of rags and
blankets on the sleeping place on top of the stove.
The Hut was as clean as if it had.
Only. That minute been swept.
By Mariusa herself. But in the middle of the floor.
(26:33):
There was a scrap. Of a green leaf lying, and the
old man knew in a moment that this was a scrap of a green leaf
from the top of a young turnip. A scandal.
Stop it. This is this is turning into
like a law and order mystery. I'm hooked right now.
(26:58):
I am hooked. Boris is figuring out.
Who did the crime? Hopefully this turns into a turn
up party. Are you kidding me?
I love turnips. I love turnips, OK?
So while the old man looked at the leaf, the heap of blankets
(27:19):
and rugs on the stove began to move, first in one place and
then in another. And there was a little laugh,
and then another, and suddenly there was a great stir in the
blankets, and they were all thrown back helter skelter.
And there were dozens and dozensof little queer children
(27:39):
laughing and laughing and laughing and looking at the old
man. Most likely I'm.
The story says queer children. And I just want to remind you
that similar to the word gay back in the day, the word queer.
(27:59):
Was often used to mean something.
Odd. Oh, it's a little.
Queer. Oh how?
How odd, right? And similar to gay, gay means
happy. And the word.
Gay used to be used. For someone who was incredibly
light hearted and and. Happy.
(28:20):
I feel like it is really tellingas well that now we use these
words for the queer community because it's like, Oh yeah,
you're so happy. Like, like it's a bad thing,
whatever. Also, this is another fun fact
that I learned recently. I learned that the word dude was
actually a. Derogatory like homophobic word
(28:41):
that was coined in like the 17th, 18th century when there
was like a bunch of quote like dandies in Europe and a dandy
kind of referred to like, I guess like a metrosexual man.
In France and England there weremen who would like wear Rouge on
their cheeks, and were they werefancy boys, fancy man.
(29:04):
So they would call them dandies,and it was kind.
Of like, yeah, it was a little bit homophobic and it was a
little bit, well, it was almost kind of like a term used like,
oh, that's a city boy. That's a fancy man.
That's a little bitch, a little dandy.
So the word dude derives from dandy.
And so that's where dude came from.
(29:24):
They would call little fancy manboys from the city dudes.
And then it became reappropriated in the United
States to mean like like a man, like a dude ranch and like a
bro. Isn't that so fun?
I I love that. Fun fact.
I'm also from California. So dude is is a multi purpose
(29:45):
word, you know, like anyone can be my dude.
I use dude for everyone. Sometimes I call my Nana dude.
She doesn't love it, but I'm sorry Nana, I'm an East Bay baby
Shout out East Bay. OK, so here we are.
We're in our Hut. Boris has discovered this group
(30:06):
of. Quote queer children who are
laughing and laughing and laughing and looking at him, and
every child is holding a little turnip, and they show it to the
old man, and they laugh. I'm telling you, I knew it.
It's a turn up party. We're having a fucking.
Turn up party, turn up, turn up for turnips.
(30:26):
I'm loving this story just. Then the door of the stove flew
open, and out tumbled more of the little queer children,
dozens and dozens of them. Oh my God stop it.
A gay turn up party. Get out of here.
The more they came tumbling out into the Hut, the more there
(30:48):
seemed to be chattering in the stove and squeezing to get out
one over the top of another. The noise of the chattering and
laughing would have made your heads spin.
And every one of the children out of the stove had a little
turnip like the others, and waved it about and showed it to
the old man, and laughed like anything.
(31:11):
Ho, says the old man. So you're the thieves who have
stolen the turnips from the top of the dovecot?
Yes, cried the little children, and the chatter rattled as fast
as the hailstones on the roof. Yes, yes, yes, we.
Stole the turnips. Honestly.
(31:34):
I'm trying to join their crew. I'm trying to join.
This is a sick crew. How did you get on the top of
the dovecot when the door into the house was bolted?
And fast at that, the little children all burst out laughing,
and did not answer a word. Laugh you may, said the old man,
(31:55):
But it is I who get the scoldingwhen the turnips fly away in the
night. Oh, never mind, never mind,
cried the children. We'll pay for the turnips.
How can you pay for them? Asks the old man.
You have nothing to pay with. All the children chattered
together and looked at the old man and smiled.
(32:18):
Then one of them said to the oldman.
Are you hungry, grandfather? Hungry, says the old man.
Why yes, of course I am. My dear.
I have been looking for you all day and I had to start without
my dinner. If you're hungry, open the
cupboard behind you. The old man open the cupboard.
(32:41):
Take out the tablecloth. The old man took out the
tablecloth. Could.
You imagine like I'm imagining like a Russian style tablecloth
kind of like the like amazing jewel tone floral patterns or
like a like a lace like a doily situation.
Spread the tablecloth on the table, the children said.
(33:04):
The old man spread. The tablecloth on the table.
Now shouted the children, chattering like 1000 nests full
of young birds. We'll all sit down and have
dinner. They pulled out the benches and
gave the old man a chair at one end and all crowded round the
table ready to begin. But there is no food, said the
(33:28):
old man. How they laughed.
This is this is giving lost boysfrom hug.
Oh my God. Grandfather, one of the children
sang out from the other end of the table.
You just tell the tablecloth to turn inside out.
How? Says he tell the tablecloth to
(33:53):
turn inside out? It's easy enough.
There's no harm in doing. That thinks the old man.
So he says to the tablecloth as firmly as he could.
Now then. You.
Tablecloth. Turn inside out the tablecloth.
Hose. Itself up in the air, and rolled
(34:16):
itself this way and that as if it were in a whirlwind, and then
suddenly laid itself flat on thetable again.
And somehow or other it had covered itself with dishes and
plates and wooden spoons with pictures on them, and bowls of
soup and mushrooms and kasha andmeat and cakes and fish and
(34:39):
ducks and everything else you could think of, ready for the
best dinner in the world. The chattering and laughing
stopped, and the old man and those dozens and dozens of
little queer children set to work and ate everything on the
table. Which of you washes the dishes?
(34:59):
Asked the old man when they had.All finished, the children
laughed. Tell the tablecloth to turn
inside out. My pardon me, turn outside in.
Honestly this is an incredible purchase.
This is like a magic carpet but instead of travel it's just food
(35:22):
related and honestly I would highly consider this.
Tablecloth, says the old man. Turn outside in.
Up jumped the tablecloth, with all the empty dishes and dirty
plates and spoons, whirled itself this way and that in the
(35:42):
air, and suddenly spread itself out flat again on the table, as
clean and white as when it was taken out of the cupboard.
There was not a dish or bowl or spoon or plate or knife to be
seen. Not even a crumb.
Yelled Ye shalt get Mario Crumb.Do you guys know that song?
(36:08):
I bet no one knows that song. I bet no one knows it.
I love that song. I'm going to sing it for you.
OK? You asked Margery.
Come feed your blacks out. All on a misty morning.
Come to your dinner now. Come, come, come, yelled Ye
(36:31):
Shalt. Get Nerio Chrome.
Am I nuts for knowing that song?Yeah, you don't even need to
answer that. Yeah, I'm one of the little
queer children. Sorry about it.
Not sorry. Sorry about that.
So Boris is dumbfounded. Boris is loving this tablecloth,
(36:55):
he says. That's a good tablecloth.
Yeah, buddy. Yeah, dude, you could say that
again. See here, Grandfather, shouted
one of the queer children. You take the tablecloth.
Along with you and say no more about those turnips.
Honestly. Fair trade.
(37:16):
Love this trade. Take my turnips and I will take
your magical tablecloth. Done well, I'm content with
that, says the old man. Yeah, Buck, Yeah.
And he folded up the tablecloth very carefully and put it away
inside his shirt and said he must be going Goodbye, says he
(37:40):
and thank you for the dinner andthe tablecloth.
Goodbye, say they, and thank youfor the turnips.
The old man made his way home, singing through the forest in
his creaky old voice, until he came near the little wooden
house where he lived with the old woman.
As soon as he came near he slipped along like a mouse, and
(38:05):
as soon as he put his head inside the door the old woman
began. Have you found the thieves, you
old fool? Yes, I found the thieves.
Well, who were they? They were a whole crowd of
little queer children. Oh no, I think Jenya is going to
(38:31):
have a. She's not going to like that.
Have you given them a beating? That they'll remember.
Oh no, Jenya. No, said Boris.
I have not. What?
Bring the children to me and I will teach them to steal my
turnips. I haven't got the children, he
(38:55):
said. Well, what have you done with
them? I.
Ate dinner with them, he said. Yes, let her have it.
Boris just had the night of his life partying with the queer
kids and eating unlimited food. Sorry, Jenya, you're being a
(39:15):
Dick. Yeah, I'm loving this.
This is free Boris. Hashtag free Boris.
Well, at that, the old woman flew into such a rage she could
hardly speak. But speak she did.
Yes, and shout and scream. And that was all the old man
(39:37):
could do, not to run away out ofthe cottage.
But he stood still and listened and thought of something else.
And when she had done, he said, they paid for the turnips, Paid
for the turnips, scolded the oldwoman.
A lot of children. What did they give you?
Mushrooms. I love that it's her first
(40:03):
assumption. We can get them without losing
our turnips. Wow, I love that Jenya asked if
they paid in mushrooms. I love.
That what a fantastic question. No, he said.
They did not pay in mushrooms. They gave me a tablecloth and
(40:28):
it's a. Very good tablecloth.
Stop. Let's take a break.
Hey little Pepper, this is Annabelle here reporting live
from Pepper World HQ. If you enjoy the podcast, it
would help so much if you could follow me.
(40:52):
You could write a comment, give me 5 stars perhaps.
Also, I would love to hear from you. e-mail in at
esotericanonsense@gmail.com. I'd love to hear about your
stories. I'd love to hear about
suggestions. I would love to hear about any
kind of weird freaky thing that comes to your mind.
Also, if you would like to support my podcast, you can
(41:14):
follow me on Patreon. It's Patreon back slash
esoterica and nonsense. I will also have a YouTube page
coming at you. So soon and I also sell merch.
You can look up my merch. It's in the show notes for every
single episode as well as the show notes for my show.
I appreciate you so much. I made this podcast to connect
(41:36):
with Cool. Freaky people like you so.
Thank you so much. I'm.
I can't get over paying for. Turnips with mushrooms.
I want to live in a world where we are buying our goods with
(41:57):
mushrooms and with magical tablecloths.
This is the future. That I am manifesting for myself
and for you. If you would only let me.
If you would only let me, I would manifest an amazing future
for you when we were in the sun exploring the deep.
Forests and trading turnips for mushrooms and magical
(42:18):
tablecloths I only. Wish you would just.
Quit your job and come along. Hello SO.
Boris now pulls the magical tablecloth out of his shirt.
He spreads it on the table and as quickly as he could before
she began again, he said. Tablecloth turn inside out.
(42:44):
The old woman stopped short justwhen she was taking breath to
scold him, when the tablecloth jumped up and danced in the air,
and settled back on the table again, covered with things to
eat and to drink. She smelt the meat.
She took a spoonful of the soup and tried all of the other
(43:05):
dishes. Look at all the washing up it
will mean, says she. Tablecloth.
Turn outside in, says the old man.
That's. This is like such a.
Mic drop like a bitch, let me show you.
And there was a whirl of white cloth and dishes and everything
(43:26):
else, and then the tablecloth spread itself out on the table,
as clean as ever you could wish.That's not a bad tablecloth,
says the old woman. Yeah, no shit.
Not bad. Try exemplary.
But of course they owed me something for stealing those
(43:47):
turnips. The old man said nothing.
He was very tired, and he just laid down and went to sleep.
As soon as he was asleep, the old woman took the tablecloth
and hid it away in an iron chestand put a tablecloth of her own
in its place. They were my turnips, says she.
(44:08):
And I don't see why he should have a share in the tablecloth.
He's had a meal from it once at my expense, and once is enough.
Then she laid down and went to sleep, grumbling to herself even
in her dreams. Damn Jenya, you're really
tipping the scales. I was I was living Virginia and
(44:29):
now I'm not on her team at all. She's.
Being a Dick to my boy Boris andI'm not appreciating it.
I'm not liking it. Boris passed the vibe test.
He was partying with the queer kids.
He is growing vegetables. He's super nice.
No, no, no, no, no, Genia, no. Early the next morning.
(44:53):
The old woman woke up and she woke up the old man and told him
to go up to the dovecot and see how the remaining turnips were
getting on. He got up and rubbed his eyes
when he saw the tablecloth on the table.
The wish came to him to have a bite of food to begin the day
with, so he stopped in the middle of putting on his shirt
(45:17):
and called to the tablecloth. Tablecloth.
Turn inside out. Nothing happened.
Why should anything happen? It was.
Not the same. Tablecloth, the old man told the
old woman. You should have made a good
feast yesterday, says he, For the tablecloth is no good
(45:40):
anymore. That is, it's no good that way.
It's like any ordinary tablecloth.
Most tablecloths are, says the old woman.
But what are you dwaddling about?
Up you go and have a look at those turnips.
The old man went climbing up thenarrow twisting stairs and held
(46:01):
on with both hands for fear of falling because they were so
steep. He climbed to the top of the
house, to the top of the tower, to the top of the dovecot, and
looked at the turnips. He looked at the turnips, and he
counted the turnips. And then he came slowly down the
stairs again, wondering what theold woman would say to him.
(46:25):
Well, says the old woman in her sharp voice, are they doing
nicely? Because if not, I know whose
fault it is. Damn this fucking bitch.
She's being such a bitch. They are doing finely, said the
old man. But some of them have gone,
indeed, quite a lot of them havebeen stolen away.
(46:48):
Stolen away, screamed the old woman.
How dare you stand there and tell me that Didn't you find the
thieves yesterday? Go and find those children again
and take a stick with you, and don't show yourself here till
you can tell me what they won't steal again in a hurry.
(47:10):
Let me have a quick bite to eat,begs the old man.
It's a long way to go on an empty stomach.
Not a mouthful, yells the old woman.
Off with you letting my turnips be stolen every night and then
talking to me about bites of food.
Yeah, dude, she's a tyrant. I'm not feeling her.
(47:30):
I was. Riding for you, Shenya.
I was. Riding for you?
And now I can't I I can't even cose.
On you dawg. You're being a total.
This is a reminder. You don't like?
Someone don't be around them, but if you.
Choose to live with someone, be it a friend.
(47:51):
Be it a. Roommate be it a lover like be,
let's be. Kind to each other.
Maybe we have. Issues.
Maybe we need some conflict resolution.
Maybe we even need to hire a professional to help navigate.
Our conflict resolutions but like treating each other like
garbage? No not cool.
Let's it's 2025 people. Let's move fucking past this.
(48:13):
I'm not loving. Jenya right now.
So, alas, the old man went off again without his dinner and
hobbled away into the forest as quickly as he could get out of
earshot of the old woman's scolding tongue.
As soon as he was out of sight, the old woman stopped screaming
after him and went into the house and opened the iron chest
(48:36):
and took out the tablecloth the children had given the old man.
Yep, I knew it. She laid it on the table instead
of her own. She told it to turn inside out
and up it flu and whirled and flopped down again on the table,
all covered with delicious things.
She ate as much as she could hold, and then she told the
(48:59):
tablecloth to turn outside in and folded it up and hit it away
again in the iron chest. Trifling.
Meanwhile the old man tightened his belt because he was so
hungry. He hobbled along through the
green forest till he came to thelittle Hut standing under the
(49:20):
pine trees. There was no smoke coming from
the chimney, but they were such a chattering you would have
thought that all the Vanyas and Mauricias in Holy Russia were
talking to each other inside. Oh, this is so cute because let
us not forget this is a story that a grandpa is telling his
(49:42):
two. Cute.
Granddaughters Vanya and Mauricias.
This is so sweet. He had no sooner come insight of
the little Hut, then the dozens and dozens of little queer
children came pouring out of thedoor to meet him, and every
single one of them had a turnip and showed it to the old man and
(50:02):
laughed and laughed as if it were the best joke in the world.
I knew it was you, said the old man.
Of course it was us, cried the children.
We stole the turnips. I'm obsessed with the queer.
Kids. Queer kids unite.
Let's go turnip hunting. Yes, but how did you get to the
(50:23):
top of the dovecot when the doorinto the house was bolted and
fast? The children laughed and laughed
and did not answer a word. Laugh you may, says the old man,
but it is I who get the scoldingwhen the turnips fly away in the
night. Never mind, never mind, cried
(50:44):
the children. We'll pay for the turnips.
Very well, says the old man. But the tablecloth of yours, it
was fine yesterday, but this morning it would not even give
me a glass of tea and a hunk of black bread.
At that the faces of the little queer children were troubled and
(51:06):
grave. For a moment or two they all
chattered together and took no notice of the old man.
Then one of them said, Well, this time we'll give you
something better. Will give you a goat.
A goat, says the old man. A goat with a cold on its head,
(51:29):
said the children. A cold what?
And they crowded round him and took him behind the Hut, where
there was a grey goat with a long beard cropping the short
grass. It's a good enough goat, says
the old man. I don't see anything wrong with
him. It's better than that, cried the
(51:50):
children. You tell the goat to sneeze.
The old man thought the childrenmight be laughing at him, but he
did not care, and he remembered the tablecloth.
So he took off his hat and bowedto the goat.
Sneeze, goat, says he. And instantly the goat started
sneezing, as if it would shake itself into pieces, and it
(52:14):
sneezed. Good gold pieces flew from it in
all directions till the ground was thick with them.
That's enough, said The childrenhurriedly tell him to stop.
For all this gold is no use to us, and it's such a bother
having to sweep it away. What problems?
(52:34):
Oh my God. Stop sneezing, goat, says the
old man. And the goat stopped sneezing
and stood there panting and out of breath in the middle of a sea
of gold pieces. The children began kicking the
gold pieces about, spreading them by walking through them as
as as if they were dead leaves. The decadence.
(52:57):
Love this. My father used to say that those
gold pieces are lying about still for anybody to pick up,
but I doubt if he knew just where to look for them, or he
would have, or he would have hadbetter clothes on his back and a
little more food on the table. But who knows, someday we may
(53:20):
come upon that little Hut somewhere in the forest, and
then we shall know what to look.For Oh my God, look for the
group of queer kids. I can give you a goat with a
cold who sneezes gold. This is so cool.
The children laughed and chattered and kicked the gold
pieces this way and that into the green bushes, and they
(53:43):
brought the old man into the Hutand gave him a bowl of kasha to
eat, because he had to have dinner.
There was no magic about the kasha, but it was good enough
kasha for all that, and hunger made it better.
What is kasha kasha? What is Kasha?
(54:05):
Kasha? What is Kasha?
More Googling it. Did you like my song?
OK Kasha is essentially like a buckwheat porridge.
Interesting. OK.
So they're eating buckwheat. Buckwheat porridge so.
(54:30):
When the old man had finished the kasha and drunk a glass of
tea and smoked a little pipe, hegot up and made a low bow and
thanked the children, and the children tied a rope to the goat
and sent the old man home with it.
He hobbled away through the forest, and as he went he looked
back and there were the little queer children all dancing
(54:53):
together, and he heard them chattering and shouting.
Who? Stole the turnips.
We stole the turnips. Who paid for the turnips?
We paid for the turnips. Who stole the tablecloth?
Who will pay for the tablecloth?Who will steal the turnips
again? We will steal the turnips again.
(55:14):
Yes. Yes, children.
Yes, children. Pop the corn, Feed the children.
Grow the turnips, feed the queerchildren.
I'm loving this. The old man was too pleased with
the goat to give much heed to what they said, and he hobbled
home through the green forest asfast as he could, with the goat
(55:36):
trotting and walking behind him,pulling leaves of the bushes to
chew as they hurried along. The old woman was waiting in the
doorway of the house. She was still as angry as ever.
Have you beaten the children? She screamed.
Have you beaten the children forstealing my good turnips?
No. Said the old man.
(55:57):
They paid for the turnips. What did they pay?
Well, they gave me this goat, hesaid.
That skinny old goat. I have 3 already, and the worst
of them is better than that. It has a cold in the head, says
the old man. Worse than ever, Screams the old
(56:23):
woman. Now wait a minute, says the old
man, as quickly as he could to stop her scolding.
Sneeze goat. And the goat began to shake
itself almost to bits. Sneezing and sneezing and
sneezing. The good gold pieces flew always
at once, and the old woman threw.
(56:45):
Herself after the gold pieces. Picking them up like an old hen
picking up corn. Did I not to?
Say pop the. Corn and feed the children.
I'm telling you, am I psychic? Hello.
As fast as she picked them up, more gold pieces came showering
down on her like a heavy gold hail, A golden shower perhaps,
(57:06):
beating her on her head and her hands as she grubbed after those
that had fallen already. Stop sneezing, goat, says the
old man. And the goat stood there tired
and panting, trying to get its breath.
But the old woman did not look up till she had gathered every
one of the gold pieces. When she did look up, she said,
(57:27):
there's no supper for you. I've had supper already.
This bitch, I'm so sick of her right now.
Boris, we need to break up with her.
The old man said nothing. He tied up the goat to the door.
Post of the House. Where it could eat the green
grass. Then he went into the house and
(57:47):
lay down and fell asleep at once, because he was an old man,
and he had done a lot of walking.
As soon as he was asleep, the old woman united the goat and
took it away and hid it in the bushes, and tied up one of her
own goats instead. They were my turnips, says she
to herself. And I don't see why he should
(58:09):
have. A share in the.
Gold. Then she went in and lay down,
grumbling to herself. This bitch is tripping.
Early in the morning she woke the old man.
Get up, you lazy fellow, says she.
You will lie all day and let allthe thieves in the world come in
(58:30):
and steal my turnips. Up with you to the dovecot and
see how my turnips are getting on.
Do you know who? I'm imagining Jenny looks like
Miss Trunchbull from Matilda. You know what I'm talking about.
That's what I'm seeing now. This is this is the picture I'm
painting. The old man got up and rubbed
(58:51):
his eyes and climbed up the rickety stairs, Creek, Creek,
Creek, holding on with both hands till he came to the top of
the house, to the top of the tower, to the top of the death
cot, and looked at the turnips. He was afraid to come down, for
they were hardly any turnips left at all.
(59:11):
And when he did come down the scolding of the old woman was so
much worse than the other scoldings rolled into one.
She was so angry that she shook like a rag in the high wind.
The old man put both hands to his ears and hobbled away into
the forest. He hobbled along as fast as he
(59:34):
could hobble until he came to the Hut under the pine trees.
This time the queer children were not hiding under the
blankets or the stove or chattering in the Hut.
They were all over the roof of the Hut, dancing and crawling
about. Some of them were even sitting
in the chimney, and every one ofthe little queer children was
(59:56):
playing with the turnip. As soon as they saw the old man,
they came tumbling off the roof,one after another, head over
heels, like a lot of peas rolling off a shovel.
I'm. Loving this imagery.
Peas rolling off a shovel. We stole the turnips.
(01:00:17):
They shouted before the old man could say anything at all.
I know you did, says the old man.
But that does not make it any better for me, and it is I who
get the scolding when the turnips fly away in the night.
Never again, shouted the children.
Well, I'm glad to hear that, says the old man.
(01:00:39):
And we'll pay for the turnips, said the queer children.
Thank you kindly, says the old man.
He hadn't the heart to be angry with those little queer
children. Three or four of them ran into
the Hut and came out again with a wooden whistle, a regular
whistle pipe such as shepherds use.
They gave it to the old man. I can never play that, says the
(01:01:04):
old man. I don't know one tune from
another, and if I did, my old fingers are as stiff as oak
twigs. Blow in it, cried the children,
and all the others came crowdinground, laughing and chattering
and whispering to each other. Is he going to blow in it?
They asked. Is he going to blow in it?
(01:01:27):
How they laughed. These creepy ass kids.
Let's take a break. Planet Earth can be a terrifying
place sometimes. Why is that?
Because of humanity, Human beings.
(01:01:47):
However, I would like to remind you that planet Earth is a
beautiful planet, and a big reason why is because of plants.
Plants are amazing. Plants are so magical.
Plants are the original OG life force on this planet.
Plants can heal us, and plants necessitate our health.
(01:02:15):
This is your. Reminder, maybe you should plant
a plant this year. If you're worried about plants,
maybe you can have a succulent like an agave.
Agave are amazing because it's almost impossible to kill agave.
And you can use them on your skin.
You can use them if you have a sunburn.
(01:02:36):
You can use them for moisturization.
You can actually drink the pulp if you ever have a cold.
Plants are incredible. The list goes on and you already
know, but research some plants. Plant a house and plant a house.
No Plant a plant within your house.
Maybe plant a tree? Outside of your house.
Everyone on earth planted a tree.
(01:02:58):
Today that would be almost 8 billion more trees.
Let's do this as a team, baby. And we're back, little Peppers.
I am at the edge of my seat. Is the man going to blow into
the magic? Whistle.
Obviously he has to. He'd be silly not to this man.
(01:03:21):
The old man took the whistle andgathered his breath and puffed
out his cheeks and blew in the whistle pipe as hard as he
could. And before he could take the
whistle from his lips, 3 lively whips had slipped out of it and
were beating him as hard as theycould go, although there was
(01:03:42):
nobody to hold them. Pew, Pew, Pew.
The three whips came down on himone after another.
Oh. Shit.
Blow again, the children shouted, laughing as if they
were mad. Blow again, quick, quick, quick
and tell the whips to get into the whistle.
The old man did not wait to be told twice.
(01:04:05):
He blew for all he was worth andinstantly the three whips
stopped beating him into the whistle.
He cried and the three lively whips shot up into the whistle
like 3 snakes going into a hole.What kind of witchery is this?
These kids are little freaks. I'm loving it.
(01:04:30):
He could hardly have believed that they had been out at all if
it had not been for the sorenessof his back.
You take that home, cried the children.
That'll pay for the turnips and put everything right.
Yes, justice. Justice for my man Boris.
(01:04:50):
Who knows, said the old man, andhe thanked the children and set
off home through the green forest.
Goodbye, cried the little queer children.
But as soon as he had started they forgot all about him.
When he looked round to wave hishand to them, not one of them
was thinking of him. They were up again on the roof
(01:05:10):
of the Hut, jumping over each other and dancing and crawling
about and rolling each other down the roof, and climbing up
again as if they had been doing nothing else all day, and they
were going to do nothing else till the end of the world.
Yeah, I'm trying to. I'm trying to quit everything
and join the little queer children.
Crew. This crew is lit turnip hunting,
(01:05:34):
leapfrogging, chilling on the roof.
Yeah, this is lit. The old man hobbled home through
the green forest with the littlewhistle stuck safely away in his
shirt. As soon as he came to the door
of the Hut, the old woman who was sitting inside counting the
gold pieces, jumped up and started her scolding.
(01:05:58):
What have the children tricked you with this time?
She screamed at him. Well, they gave me this little
whistle pipe, says the old man. And they're not going to steal
the turnips anymore. Oh.
Whistle pipe, she screamed. What's the good of that?
It's worse than the tablecloth and the skinny old goat.
(01:06:20):
The old man said nothing. Give it to me, screamed the old
woman. They were my turnips.
So it's my whistle pipe. Well, whatever you do, don't
blow in it, says the old man as he hands over the whistle pipe.
She wouldn't listen to him. What, says she, I must not blow
(01:06:42):
in my own whistle pipe. Yeah, bitch Justice.
And with that she put the whistle pipe to her lips.
And blue. Yeah, yeah, yes.
Yes, that's what I'm. Waiting.
For out jumped the three lively whips.
They flew up in the air and theybegan to beat her, Pew, Pew,
(01:07:03):
Pew, one after another. If they made the old man sore,
it was nothing to what they did to the cross.
Old woman. Stop them, stop them, she
screamed, running this way and that in the Hut with the whips
flying after her, beating her all the time.
I'll never scold you again. I am to blame.
(01:07:25):
I stole the magic tablecloth. I put the old one out instead.
I hid it in the iron chest. She ran to the iron chest and
opened it and. Pulled out the tablecloth.
Stop them, stop them, she screamed while the whips laid it
on hard and fast, one after another.
(01:07:45):
I am to blame. The goat that sneezes gold
pieces is hidden in the bushes. The goat by the door is one of
our old ones. I wanted all the gold for
myself. All this time the old man was
trying to get a hold of the whistle pipe, but the old woman
was running about the Hut so fast, with the whips flying
after her and beating her, that he could not get it out of her
(01:08:08):
hands. At.
Last, he grabbed it into the whistle, says he, and put it to
his lips and blue. In that moment the three lively
whips had hidden themselves in the whistle, and there was a
cross old woman kissing his handand promising never to scold
anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fucking
(01:08:29):
right. That's all right, says the old
man. And he fetched the sneezing goat
out of the bushes and made it sneeze a little gold, just to be
sure that it was the goat and noother.
Then he laid the table cloth on the table and told it to turn
inside out. Up it flew, and came down again
(01:08:50):
with the best dinner that was ever cooked, only waiting to be
eaten. And the old man and the old
woman sat down and ate till theycould eat no more.
The old woman rubbed herself nowand again, and the old man
rubbed himself too. What this is?
Sounding dirty, am I? Am I just a pervert?
(01:09:13):
I think they're like rubbing their wounds.
So I guess I am a pervert, OK. But there was never a crossword
between them again, and they went to bed singing like
nightingales. Is that the end of the story?
Is that her? What?
Is that the end of the story? Marusia always asked.
(01:09:36):
Is that all? Asked Vanya, though he knew it
was not Vanya. No, they said they were both.
Granddaughters. That's a.
That's a has to be a typo. Is that all asked?
Vanya, though she knew it was not.
There we go. Not quite, said old Peter.
(01:09:57):
But the tail won't go any quicker than my old tongue.
The next morning the old woman had forgotten about her promise.
I fucking knew it, I called it. And just from habit she set
about scolding the old man as ifthe whips had never jumped out
of the whistle. She scolded him for sleeping too
(01:10:17):
long. She sent him upstairs with a lot
of crosswords after him to go tothe top of the dovecot and see
how the turnips were getting on after.
Little the old. Man came down, the turnips are
coming on, grandly says he. And not a single one has gone in
the night. I told you the children said
(01:10:40):
they would not steal anymore. I don't believe you, said the
old woman. I'll see for myself.
And if they are gone, you shall pay for it and pay for it.
Well, up she jumped and tried toclimb the stairs, but the stairs
were narrow and steep and twisting.
She tried and tried and could not get up at all.
(01:11:01):
So she gets angrier than ever and starts scolding the old man
again. You must carry me up, says she.
I have to hold on with both hands or I couldn't get myself
up, says the old man. I'll get in the flower sack and
you must carry me up with your teeth, says she.
(01:11:21):
They're strong enough. Oh no, I'm not.
Liking this. This is a bad call.
The old woman got into the flower sack.
Don't ask me any questions, saysthe old man.
And he took the sack in his teeth and began slowly climbing
up the stairs, holding on with both hands.
He climbed and climbed, and he did not climb fast enough for
(01:11:43):
the old woman. Are we at the top?
Says she. The old man said nothing, but
went on climbing up and up, nearly dead.
With the weight of the old. Woman in the sack which he was
holding in his teeth. This is ludicrous.
He climbed a little further and the old woman screamed out.
(01:12:05):
Are we at the top now? We must be at the top.
Let me out, you fool. The old man said nothing.
He climbed on and on. The old woman raged in the
flower sack. She jumped about in the sack and
screamed at the old man. Are we near the top now?
Answer me. Can't you answer me at once, or
(01:12:26):
you will pay for this later. Are we near the top?
Very near, said the old man, andas he opened his mouth to say
that, the slack slipped from beneath between his teeth, and
bump, bump, bump, bump, the old woman in the sack fell all the
way to the very bottom, bumping on every step, and that was the
(01:12:50):
end of her. After that the old man lived
alone in the Hut. Damn.
When he wanted tobacco or clothes or new axe, he would
make the goat sneeze some gold pieces, and off he went to the
town with plenty of money in hispocket.
When he wanted his dinner he hadonly to lay the tablecloth down.
(01:13:12):
He never had any washing up to do, because the tablecloth did
it for him, and when he wanted to get rid of troublesome guests
he would give them the whistle to blow.
And when he was lonely and wanted company, he went to the
little Hut under the pine trees and played with the little queer
children. Shut up.
(01:13:35):
That was such a good story, Justice.
For my man Boris. Love Boris.
Deserved it. I love that story.
That was so much fun. I want to meet the little queer
children in the pine forest. I'm on a magical tablecloth.
I would love a magical goat. I'm I'm just loving this
(01:13:56):
fantasy. I want a giant garden.
I want a dovecot. I want turnips on the roof.
Like, honestly, this is this is beautiful.
I mean, I loved this whole fantasy.
Thank you so much for listening 2025.
It's going to be a really exciting year.
I'm really working on putting episodes out weekly.
(01:14:18):
Mondays are my goal, I'm going to be putting videos on YouTube,
I'm going to be doing 2 meditations a month for free and
then I will have extra meditations on my Patreon and I
just feel so grateful. Thank you for listening.
I have so much fun reading this,please take good care of you.
(01:14:39):
Over and out, baby boy.
Hello and welcome to Esoterica and Nonsense, a podcast.
Where we discuss myths, legends,folk tales, fairy tales,
supernatural phenomenon and religions from around the world.
I'm your host. Annabelle.
Pepper, Bell, Banana. Hell.
Today is story time. If you're new here, welcome.
(00:59):
Every week we cuddle up, we drink tea and we have a story
time. Sometimes I go on long
religious. Rants sometimes I just read
stories from storybooks and today is going to be story time.
I am actually done drinking my tea.
(01:20):
I considered bringing it up, butI had so much tea today I was
drinking Golden Monkey. It's so good.
It's a Chinese tea and. I think some consider it a
yellow tea, which is very cool. But it's delicious and I highly
recommend it. Golden Monkey, But right now I
(01:41):
am drinking filtered water with a pinch of pink salt.
Get your electrolytes everyone. Don't forget your electrolytes.
I hope that you are doing well. I hope you are taking good care
of yourself. It is not easy to be a human
being here on planet Earth. We're all doing our best, and
(02:03):
what I dream for all of us is that we focus.
On our health and the health of our planet.
I don't really care about money.I don't care about ambition.
All I want to do is be eating fruit in the sun with my titties
out. Hello.
(02:23):
And I really hope we can do thattogether as a team.
That's my dream. So if you haven't done it
already, I recommend making sometea, maybe making some coffee,
having some water. Do your thing baby boy, and
let's cuddle up for story. Time.
I'm excited today I have hand selected a story.
(02:45):
Which is a Russian folk tale andit is called the stolen turnips,
the magic Tablecloth, the sneezing Goat.
And the wooden whistle. I would like to wet my whistle.
Hello. I can't wait.
(03:06):
Are you ready? Yeah, you're ready.
OK. Here we go, darling.
This is the story which old Peter used to tell whenever
either Vanya or Marusia was. Cross already I'm hooked.
(03:28):
Vanya and Morusia. Hot.
I can already tell these are hotgirls and their cross love that.
We love that. This did not often happen, but
it would be no use to pretend that it never happened at all.
Sometimes it was a Vanya who scolded Marusia, and sometimes
(03:51):
it was Marusia who scolded Vanya.
Yeah, they sound really hot. I'm imagining.
Like scrunchies, I'm imagining feathered bangs, I'm imagining
like a maroon brown lipstick. I'm imagining like classic, like
(04:12):
the USSR was just ended. It's the year 1990, you know?
Like, I'm really seeing the fullfantasy of the feathered bangs
and the scrunchie. Yeah, I'm really loving Vanya's
vibe and Mauricio's vibe. Sometimes there were two
(04:33):
scoldings going on at once. And old Peter did not like
crossness in the Hut. Whoever did the scolding, he did
not like it. He said it spoiled his tobacco.
And put a. Sour taste in his tea.
(04:54):
Oh well, we can't have that. We can't have it.
And of course, when the childrenremembered that they were
spoiling their grandfather's teaand tobacco, they stopped just
as quickly as they could, unlesstheir tongues had run right away
with them, which happens sometimes, you know, even to
(05:15):
grown up people. This story used to be told in
two ways. It was either the tale of an old
man who was bothered by a cross old woman, or the tale of an old
woman who was bothered by a cross old man.
And the moment old Peter began the story, both children would
(05:37):
ask at once, which is the cross.1.
For then they would know which of them old Peter thought.
Was in the wrong. This time it's the old woman.
Said the grandfather. But as like as not.
It will be the old man next. And then any quarreling there
(06:01):
was came to an end and was forgotten before the end of the
story. Stop it.
This is cute. This is so cute.
A grandfather is telling this story to squash the beef and
this is the story. What a beautiful premise.
(06:22):
Oh my gosh, I love this. See.
Pause. Like, This is why I made this
podcast, because I did not grow up hearing folk tales or fairy
tales from my parents or my grandparents.
That's all I wanted to know. I wanted to know about fairies.
I wanted to know about the ancestors.
(06:42):
I wanted to know about Dragons. I wanted to know about the
ancient world. I wanted to hear the stories.
Hello. And this is just.
Touching my heart right now. This is a story that a
grandfather would tell his superhot and like stoic Russian
granddaughters. I'm just loving this.
I'm loving this. All right.
(07:05):
Are you ready? This is our story.
Once an old man and an old womanlived in a little wooden house.
All round the house there was a garden crammed with flowers and
potatoes. And beetroots.
And cabbages. And in one corner of the house
(07:26):
there was a narrow wooden stairway which went up and up,
twisting and twisting into a high tower.
In the top of the tower there was a dovecot, and on the top of
the dovecot was a flat root. What's a dovecot?
Am I crazy? Does everyone know what a
(07:46):
dovecot is except Annabelle? Dovecot.
What is it we're going on? Google everyone.
PSA. We're Googling Dovecot.
What could it mean? Come on you guys, I know you can
search a little faster than this.
My internet's not been wonderful.
(08:06):
OK, a dove coat or dove coat is a columbarium.
It is a structure intended to house pigeons or doves.
OK. OK, OK.
I know exactly what this is. OK.
It's almost like a Dome tower. It's like a small.
(08:30):
It's a birdhouse. Harry Potter, anyone?
If you've seen Harry Potter where everyone keeps their owls,
it's like that. It's like a small tower where
you keep pigeons. Oh, that's why it's called a
dovecote or dovecot. It looks like.
It looks like it's I. Don't have a definitive answer
(08:50):
if it's dovecote or. Dovecot, but we're going to say.
Dovecot, because that's how it'sspelled.
Most of the time, and I love this.
We learned a new word today. Everyone love that, OK.
So where are we? This old couple lives in the
Super cute cottage. There's flowers, there's
potatoes, there's beet roots, there's cabbages.
(09:14):
We're in like Russia right now so I'm pretty sure they probably
make borscht fresh from the garden, which I'm loving.
I'm just adding this in. I'm making an educated
assumption right now. And then in the.
Corner of their little wooden. House we have the narrow wooden
stairway. Which goes up.
(09:34):
And. Up it twists and twists into the
high tower. Yes, got it.
OK, so on the top of the high high tower is our dovecot.
This is where they keep the pigeons.
And on the top of the dovecot isa flat roof.
You know what? Take me there.
I want a pigeon tower. I want a dovecot.
(09:55):
Can I have a dove cop for Christmas?
OK, so now the old woman was never content with the doings of
the old man. Hypical.
She doesn't even need to explain, I already get it.
She scolded him all day and she scolded him all night.
(10:17):
If there was too much rain, it was the old man's fault if there
was a drought. And all green things were
parched for lack of water. Well the old man was to blame
for not altering the weather. Damn OK, this sounds like
resentment. This sounds like couples therapy
is on the menu and. Though the old man was quite old
(10:43):
and tired, it was all the same to her how much work she put on
his shoulders. The garden was full, there was
no room in it at all, not even for a single pea.
And all of a sudden, the old woman sets her heart on growing.
Turnips Honestly, I am kind of living for the old woman.
(11:09):
I'm loving this energy. This is like, this is my kind of
girl, you know? I like the girl who is bossy.
I'm loving this and I love Turnips.
Turnips are underrated. We.
Need to talk about turnips? Why aren't we growing turnips?
Eating turnips? Turnips are so good roasted.
They make such a good chip. Oh imagine doing like a lot cut
(11:32):
if you will, but with turnips. Oh my God the children these
days don't even know Gen. Z.
Do you even know what a turnip is?
Google it. OK, so our dear girl, I'm going
to call her Jenya. I'm sorry.
Her name is Jenya and I know it.I know it.
(11:54):
OK. So.
The old woman demands turnips ofher worthless husband.
And he says, but there is no room in the garden.
Sew them up on top of the dovecot, says the old woman.
But there is no earth. There, he says, Well, carry
(12:15):
earth up and put it there, says she.
Oh my God, yeah, this is Kunti. So the old man labored up and
down with his tired old bones and covered the top of the dove
cocked with good black earth. He could only take up a very
little at a time because he was old and weak, and because the.
Stairs were so narrow and dangerous that he had to hold on
(12:38):
with both hands and carry the earth in a bag, which he held in
his teeth. Oh, this is kind of fucked up.
Yeah. She's doing him dirty.
This is not nice. This isn't nice.
She should at least help him. I I get it.
I'm getting the moral of the story here.
I'm getting it. I'm getting it.
Jenya. I love her, but this is a lot.
(12:59):
You're doing a lot to Boris. I'm again, these are my names,
but I've decided. Sorry about it.
Boris's teeth were so strong that they, oh sorry, his teeth
were so strong. Because he had been biting
crusts all his life. Aw, the old woman left him
(13:20):
nothing else, for she took all the crumb for herself.
The old man did his best, and byevening the top of the dovecot
was covered with earth, and he had sown it with turnip seed.
Oh, Boris is nice the next. Day and the day after that, and
every day after, the old woman scolded the old man till he went
(13:44):
up to the dovecot to see how those turnip seeds were getting
on. Are they ready to eat yet?
She said They are not ready to eat.
He replied. Is the green sprouting?
She asked. The green is sprouting, he
replied. At last there came a day when
(14:06):
the old man came down from the dovecot and said The turnips are
doing finally quite big as they're getting, but all the
best ones have been stolen away.Oh no, no, no, this is not good.
Jenya is going to flip. Stolen.
Away cried the old woman. Shaking with rage.
(14:29):
And have you lived all these years and not learned how to
keep thieves from a turnip bed on the top of a dovecot on the
top of a tower on the top of a house?
Out with you and don't you dare come back till you have caught
the thieves. Damn this is treacherous.
(14:49):
Who do you think? The thieves.
Are they have to be little critters, right?
Little hedgehogs. Maybe other.
Maybe they're hedgehogs who wanted the turnips.
I want to hang out with the hedgehogs eating turnips.
Yeah. Honestly, I'm.
I did love Jenya at first, but I'm starting to love Boris more.
I want to hang out with Boris and grow turnips and relax.
(15:12):
Come on. So the old man did not dare to
tell her that the door had been bolted, although he knew it had
because he had bolted it himself.
Of course he did, because he's athorough pepper.
He hurried away out of the house, more because he wanted to
get out of earshot of her scolding than because he had any
(15:35):
hope. Of finding the thieves.
They may be. Birds thinks he.
Or the little brown squirrels. Who else could climb so high
without? Using the stairs.
And how is an old man like me toget a hold of them flying
through the tops of the high trees, and running up and down
the branches? And so he wandered away without
(15:59):
his dinner, into the deep forest.
Oh Boris, Boris in the Deep forest.
Oh my God, could you imagine that book a little, a little
kids book illustrated Boris in the Deep Forest.
And he's going on a turn up quest.
Oh my God. And he collects turnips and he
(16:20):
talks to the hedgehogs and the brown squirrels and the pigeons
and they all go on a turnip quest sign Hello.
Sign me up. Turnip quest.
Boris in the deep forest. I'm sorry, Hollywood, where are
you? I'm ready.
I have ideas ready to go. They're flowing right now.
(16:43):
So but God is good to old men. Hasn't he given me two little
pigeons who nearly always are asmerry?
As all little pigeons should be.Stop, I'm going to cry.
And God led the old man through the forest.
(17:04):
Though the old. Man thought he was just
wandering on, trying to lose himself and forget the scolding
voice of the old woman. Stop it.
I can't give it. I can't get over this sentence.
Hasn't he given me two little pigeons who nearly always are as
(17:25):
merry as little? Pigeons should be get out of
here. That's the relationship with God
that I want. I want God.
To give me two little pigeons, who are nearly always as merry
as a little pigeon should be. Stop it Boris in the.
(17:46):
Forest is going to be a sleeper hit.
This new generation of kids is going to love it.
It's going to be like, you know what it's going to be like?
It's going to be like frog and toad vibe mixed with the What's
that kids book where the old lady cooks Stew.
(18:09):
She looks like Baba Yaga. You know what I'm talking about.
She's like this old, like babushka and she like, cooks a
Stew. It's like the whole premise of
the book. Yeah.
Imagine those two worlds combining like this old wench
Baba Yaga with frog and toad. Sign me up.
Stop eating borscht and going onturnip.
(18:31):
Quests so. After the old man had walked a
long way through the dark green forest.
He saw a little Hut standing under the pine trees.
There was no smoke coming from the chimney, but there were such
a chattering in the Hut that youcould hear it far away.
(18:53):
It was like coming near a Rookery at evening or a
disturbing a lot of starlings. What's a Rookery?
Do you know what a Rookery is? What is a Rookery?
Oh I love, that's a great word don't you think?
Rookery. A Rookery is a breeding colony
(19:14):
of rooks, typically seen as a collection of nests high in a
clump of trees. Oh interesting.
So I think by rooks they mean birds, right?
Also, interestingly enough, sometimes Rookery are used as
slang terms. For a collection of housing,
(19:35):
specifically things like slums, that is.
So fascinating. Get out of here.
I'm. Learning so many new.
Words a Rookery. And with that.
Let's take a break. Hello.
Traveller, have you forgotten that you are an incredible 1 of
(20:01):
the kind Pepper? There is no one on planet Earth
like you. Do you know how incredible that
is? Never forget it.
It might take time, it might take practice, but whatever your
dreams are, you can attain them.Yes you can.
And you know that it's true. I believe in you.
(20:22):
I'm so proud of you. One step at a time and you're
going to make it. And we're back.
We're learning new words today. We are learning what dove carts
are and rookeries. And I'm having the time of my
life and I'm. Having some water because.
(20:46):
Hydration feels so good. Being in my 30s has been so wild
because now I'm fully sober and I never planned on being fully
sober. I've I've been like smoking weed
since I was 16 and then when I woke up one day when I was 28 I
(21:06):
just stopped smoking weed. It was so bizarre.
Never planned. I imagined myself smoking my
whole life. I love psychedelics but now I'm
in my 30s and I just feel high off of life and there's just
nothing like drinking salted water and feeling fully alive.
I can feel my cells tingling. Life is a high is a high.
(21:30):
Reality is a hard drug. You can't convince me otherwise.
I feel like when you learn to enjoy reality, it really is the
high that keeps on giving. It really is.
But I support. I support you, whoever you are.
I support you. I'm not.
(21:50):
I'm not on some PSA convincing you to get sober, I'm just
saying like my 16 year old self would never believe that I would
be drinking water and and tripping.
Also, OK, not to go super off topic, but a few weeks ago I did
(22:14):
an episode about Gateway experiences.
Specifically declassified CIA documents which.
Talk about gateway experiences and also the holographic theory
of the universe and so I found this playlist of gateway
experience meditations on YouTube and now I.
(22:35):
Believe I'm on day 11. I've been doing them every day
and it has been mind blowing. It's been life changing.
They use different frequencies in each ear.
You have to wear headphones and they put different frequencies
in each of your ears. And then there's also like a
guided meditation portion where there are directions.
(22:56):
And I'm telling you, I feel likeI'm rewiring my entire nervous
system. It is so.
Wild. A few days ago I was listening
to one while I was falling asleep and I ended up dozing off
and I woke up twitching. It wasn't scary but like my I
could feel the electricity pulsing through my body and it
woke me up. Like I actually like convulsed.
(23:19):
It was so interesting and I actually do.
Meditate a lot and if if you don't know, I do guided
meditations for every new moon and full moon here in the
podcast and on my Patreon. I'm also going to start
releasing more meditations for people if you would like to
subscribe and support the podcast.
(23:39):
But my point is, these gateway experiences are a different
animal because these noises thatthey play, which are called
binaural beats, really do something to your body.
And I find that even if I zone out and I'm not following the
directions of the guided meditation, I can feel energy
pulsing in my body in a very oddand interesting.
(24:02):
Way so anyway, do what you will with that, but I'm telling you a
little salt in your water and a daily meditation and you're
going to be you're going to be high as a kite.
I'm telling you, it's pretty cool, you guys.
OK. So where?
Where were we, darling? We were here with.
(24:23):
Boris, we were in the woods and.That's where he came up to a
little Hut. Right.
Oh yes. There we are.
We're at a little Hut in the pine trees deep in the forest.
There's smoke coming out of the chimney, and he's hearing all
the chattering, and he's that's where we learn the new word.
(24:44):
The noise coming from the Hut was almost like coming across a
Rookery at evening, or disturbing a lot of starlings.
And as the old man came slowly nearer to the Hut, he thought he
saw little faces looking at him through the window and peeping
through the door. He could not be sure because
(25:06):
they were gone so quickly and all the time the chattering went
on louder and louder, till the old man nearly put his hands to
his ears, and then suddenly the chattering stopped.
There was not a sound, no noise at all.
The old man stood still. A squirrel dropped a.
(25:30):
Fur a fur. Cone close by, and the old man
was startled by the fall of it, because everything else was so
quiet. Whatever there is in the Hut, it
won't be worse than the old woman, says the old man to
himself. So he makes the sign.
(25:50):
Of the Holy. Cross and steps up to the little
Hut and takes a long look through the door.
There was no one to be seen and you would have thought the Hut
was empty. Stop.
I'm so excited. Are they trolls?
I think they're. Trolls, right?
What do you think? The old man took a step inside,
(26:12):
bending under the little low door.
Still he could see nobody, only a great heap of rags and
blankets on the sleeping place on top of the stove.
The Hut was as clean as if it had.
Only. That minute been swept.
By Mariusa herself. But in the middle of the floor.
(26:33):
There was a scrap. Of a green leaf lying, and the
old man knew in a moment that this was a scrap of a green leaf
from the top of a young turnip. A scandal.
Stop it. This is this is turning into
like a law and order mystery. I'm hooked right now.
(26:58):
I am hooked. Boris is figuring out.
Who did the crime? Hopefully this turns into a turn
up party. Are you kidding me?
I love turnips. I love turnips, OK?
So while the old man looked at the leaf, the heap of blankets
(27:19):
and rugs on the stove began to move, first in one place and
then in another. And there was a little laugh,
and then another, and suddenly there was a great stir in the
blankets, and they were all thrown back helter skelter.
And there were dozens and dozensof little queer children
(27:39):
laughing and laughing and laughing and looking at the old
man. Most likely I'm.
The story says queer children. And I just want to remind you
that similar to the word gay back in the day, the word queer.
(27:59):
Was often used to mean something.
Odd. Oh, it's a little.
Queer. Oh how?
How odd, right? And similar to gay, gay means
happy. And the word.
Gay used to be used. For someone who was incredibly
light hearted and and. Happy.
(28:20):
I feel like it is really tellingas well that now we use these
words for the queer community because it's like, Oh yeah,
you're so happy. Like, like it's a bad thing,
whatever. Also, this is another fun fact
that I learned recently. I learned that the word dude was
actually a. Derogatory like homophobic word
(28:41):
that was coined in like the 17th, 18th century when there
was like a bunch of quote like dandies in Europe and a dandy
kind of referred to like, I guess like a metrosexual man.
In France and England there weremen who would like wear Rouge on
their cheeks, and were they werefancy boys, fancy man.
(29:04):
So they would call them dandies,and it was kind.
Of like, yeah, it was a little bit homophobic and it was a
little bit, well, it was almost kind of like a term used like,
oh, that's a city boy. That's a fancy man.
That's a little bitch, a little dandy.
So the word dude derives from dandy.
And so that's where dude came from.
(29:24):
They would call little fancy manboys from the city dudes.
And then it became reappropriated in the United
States to mean like like a man, like a dude ranch and like a
bro. Isn't that so fun?
I I love that. Fun fact.
I'm also from California. So dude is is a multi purpose
(29:45):
word, you know, like anyone can be my dude.
I use dude for everyone. Sometimes I call my Nana dude.
She doesn't love it, but I'm sorry Nana, I'm an East Bay baby
Shout out East Bay. OK, so here we are.
We're in our Hut. Boris has discovered this group
(30:06):
of. Quote queer children who are
laughing and laughing and laughing and looking at him, and
every child is holding a little turnip, and they show it to the
old man, and they laugh. I'm telling you, I knew it.
It's a turn up party. We're having a fucking.
Turn up party, turn up, turn up for turnips.
(30:26):
I'm loving this story just. Then the door of the stove flew
open, and out tumbled more of the little queer children,
dozens and dozens of them. Oh my God stop it.
A gay turn up party. Get out of here.
The more they came tumbling out into the Hut, the more there
(30:48):
seemed to be chattering in the stove and squeezing to get out
one over the top of another. The noise of the chattering and
laughing would have made your heads spin.
And every one of the children out of the stove had a little
turnip like the others, and waved it about and showed it to
the old man, and laughed like anything.
(31:11):
Ho, says the old man. So you're the thieves who have
stolen the turnips from the top of the dovecot?
Yes, cried the little children, and the chatter rattled as fast
as the hailstones on the roof. Yes, yes, yes, we.
Stole the turnips. Honestly.
(31:34):
I'm trying to join their crew. I'm trying to join.
This is a sick crew. How did you get on the top of
the dovecot when the door into the house was bolted?
And fast at that, the little children all burst out laughing,
and did not answer a word. Laugh you may, said the old man,
(31:55):
But it is I who get the scoldingwhen the turnips fly away in the
night. Oh, never mind, never mind,
cried the children. We'll pay for the turnips.
How can you pay for them? Asks the old man.
You have nothing to pay with. All the children chattered
together and looked at the old man and smiled.
(32:18):
Then one of them said to the oldman.
Are you hungry, grandfather? Hungry, says the old man.
Why yes, of course I am. My dear.
I have been looking for you all day and I had to start without
my dinner. If you're hungry, open the
cupboard behind you. The old man open the cupboard.
(32:41):
Take out the tablecloth. The old man took out the
tablecloth. Could.
You imagine like I'm imagining like a Russian style tablecloth
kind of like the like amazing jewel tone floral patterns or
like a like a lace like a doily situation.
Spread the tablecloth on the table, the children said.
(33:04):
The old man spread. The tablecloth on the table.
Now shouted the children, chattering like 1000 nests full
of young birds. We'll all sit down and have
dinner. They pulled out the benches and
gave the old man a chair at one end and all crowded round the
table ready to begin. But there is no food, said the
(33:28):
old man. How they laughed.
This is this is giving lost boysfrom hug.
Oh my God. Grandfather, one of the children
sang out from the other end of the table.
You just tell the tablecloth to turn inside out.
How? Says he tell the tablecloth to
(33:53):
turn inside out? It's easy enough.
There's no harm in doing. That thinks the old man.
So he says to the tablecloth as firmly as he could.
Now then. You.
Tablecloth. Turn inside out the tablecloth.
Hose. Itself up in the air, and rolled
(34:16):
itself this way and that as if it were in a whirlwind, and then
suddenly laid itself flat on thetable again.
And somehow or other it had covered itself with dishes and
plates and wooden spoons with pictures on them, and bowls of
soup and mushrooms and kasha andmeat and cakes and fish and
(34:39):
ducks and everything else you could think of, ready for the
best dinner in the world. The chattering and laughing
stopped, and the old man and those dozens and dozens of
little queer children set to work and ate everything on the
table. Which of you washes the dishes?
(34:59):
Asked the old man when they had.All finished, the children
laughed. Tell the tablecloth to turn
inside out. My pardon me, turn outside in.
Honestly this is an incredible purchase.
This is like a magic carpet but instead of travel it's just food
(35:22):
related and honestly I would highly consider this.
Tablecloth, says the old man. Turn outside in.
Up jumped the tablecloth, with all the empty dishes and dirty
plates and spoons, whirled itself this way and that in the
(35:42):
air, and suddenly spread itself out flat again on the table, as
clean and white as when it was taken out of the cupboard.
There was not a dish or bowl or spoon or plate or knife to be
seen. Not even a crumb.
Yelled Ye shalt get Mario Crumb.Do you guys know that song?
(36:08):
I bet no one knows that song. I bet no one knows it.
I love that song. I'm going to sing it for you.
OK? You asked Margery.
Come feed your blacks out. All on a misty morning.
Come to your dinner now. Come, come, come, yelled Ye
(36:31):
Shalt. Get Nerio Chrome.
Am I nuts for knowing that song?Yeah, you don't even need to
answer that. Yeah, I'm one of the little
queer children. Sorry about it.
Not sorry. Sorry about that.
So Boris is dumbfounded. Boris is loving this tablecloth,
(36:55):
he says. That's a good tablecloth.
Yeah, buddy. Yeah, dude, you could say that
again. See here, Grandfather, shouted
one of the queer children. You take the tablecloth.
Along with you and say no more about those turnips.
Honestly. Fair trade.
(37:16):
Love this trade. Take my turnips and I will take
your magical tablecloth. Done well, I'm content with
that, says the old man. Yeah, Buck, Yeah.
And he folded up the tablecloth very carefully and put it away
inside his shirt and said he must be going Goodbye, says he
(37:40):
and thank you for the dinner andthe tablecloth.
Goodbye, say they, and thank youfor the turnips.
The old man made his way home, singing through the forest in
his creaky old voice, until he came near the little wooden
house where he lived with the old woman.
As soon as he came near he slipped along like a mouse, and
(38:05):
as soon as he put his head inside the door the old woman
began. Have you found the thieves, you
old fool? Yes, I found the thieves.
Well, who were they? They were a whole crowd of
little queer children. Oh no, I think Jenya is going to
(38:31):
have a. She's not going to like that.
Have you given them a beating? That they'll remember.
Oh no, Jenya. No, said Boris.
I have not. What?
Bring the children to me and I will teach them to steal my
turnips. I haven't got the children, he
(38:55):
said. Well, what have you done with
them? I.
Ate dinner with them, he said. Yes, let her have it.
Boris just had the night of his life partying with the queer
kids and eating unlimited food. Sorry, Jenya, you're being a
(39:15):
Dick. Yeah, I'm loving this.
This is free Boris. Hashtag free Boris.
Well, at that, the old woman flew into such a rage she could
hardly speak. But speak she did.
Yes, and shout and scream. And that was all the old man
(39:37):
could do, not to run away out ofthe cottage.
But he stood still and listened and thought of something else.
And when she had done, he said, they paid for the turnips, Paid
for the turnips, scolded the oldwoman.
A lot of children. What did they give you?
Mushrooms. I love that it's her first
(40:03):
assumption. We can get them without losing
our turnips. Wow, I love that Jenya asked if
they paid in mushrooms. I love.
That what a fantastic question. No, he said.
They did not pay in mushrooms. They gave me a tablecloth and
(40:28):
it's a. Very good tablecloth.
Stop. Let's take a break.
Hey little Pepper, this is Annabelle here reporting live
from Pepper World HQ. If you enjoy the podcast, it
would help so much if you could follow me.
(40:52):
You could write a comment, give me 5 stars perhaps.
Also, I would love to hear from you. e-mail in at
esotericanonsense@gmail.com. I'd love to hear about your
stories. I'd love to hear about
suggestions. I would love to hear about any
kind of weird freaky thing that comes to your mind.
Also, if you would like to support my podcast, you can
(41:14):
follow me on Patreon. It's Patreon back slash
esoterica and nonsense. I will also have a YouTube page
coming at you. So soon and I also sell merch.
You can look up my merch. It's in the show notes for every
single episode as well as the show notes for my show.
I appreciate you so much. I made this podcast to connect
(41:36):
with Cool. Freaky people like you so.
Thank you so much. I'm.
I can't get over paying for. Turnips with mushrooms.
I want to live in a world where we are buying our goods with
(41:57):
mushrooms and with magical tablecloths.
This is the future. That I am manifesting for myself
and for you. If you would only let me.
If you would only let me, I would manifest an amazing future
for you when we were in the sun exploring the deep.
Forests and trading turnips for mushrooms and magical
(42:18):
tablecloths I only. Wish you would just.
Quit your job and come along. Hello SO.
Boris now pulls the magical tablecloth out of his shirt.
He spreads it on the table and as quickly as he could before
she began again, he said. Tablecloth turn inside out.
(42:44):
The old woman stopped short justwhen she was taking breath to
scold him, when the tablecloth jumped up and danced in the air,
and settled back on the table again, covered with things to
eat and to drink. She smelt the meat.
She took a spoonful of the soup and tried all of the other
(43:05):
dishes. Look at all the washing up it
will mean, says she. Tablecloth.
Turn outside in, says the old man.
That's. This is like such a.
Mic drop like a bitch, let me show you.
And there was a whirl of white cloth and dishes and everything
(43:26):
else, and then the tablecloth spread itself out on the table,
as clean as ever you could wish.That's not a bad tablecloth,
says the old woman. Yeah, no shit.
Not bad. Try exemplary.
But of course they owed me something for stealing those
(43:47):
turnips. The old man said nothing.
He was very tired, and he just laid down and went to sleep.
As soon as he was asleep, the old woman took the tablecloth
and hid it away in an iron chestand put a tablecloth of her own
in its place. They were my turnips, says she.
(44:08):
And I don't see why he should have a share in the tablecloth.
He's had a meal from it once at my expense, and once is enough.
Then she laid down and went to sleep, grumbling to herself even
in her dreams. Damn Jenya, you're really
tipping the scales. I was I was living Virginia and
(44:29):
now I'm not on her team at all. She's.
Being a Dick to my boy Boris andI'm not appreciating it.
I'm not liking it. Boris passed the vibe test.
He was partying with the queer kids.
He is growing vegetables. He's super nice.
No, no, no, no, no, Genia, no. Early the next morning.
(44:53):
The old woman woke up and she woke up the old man and told him
to go up to the dovecot and see how the remaining turnips were
getting on. He got up and rubbed his eyes
when he saw the tablecloth on the table.
The wish came to him to have a bite of food to begin the day
with, so he stopped in the middle of putting on his shirt
(45:17):
and called to the tablecloth. Tablecloth.
Turn inside out. Nothing happened.
Why should anything happen? It was.
Not the same. Tablecloth, the old man told the
old woman. You should have made a good
feast yesterday, says he, For the tablecloth is no good
(45:40):
anymore. That is, it's no good that way.
It's like any ordinary tablecloth.
Most tablecloths are, says the old woman.
But what are you dwaddling about?
Up you go and have a look at those turnips.
The old man went climbing up thenarrow twisting stairs and held
(46:01):
on with both hands for fear of falling because they were so
steep. He climbed to the top of the
house, to the top of the tower, to the top of the dovecot, and
looked at the turnips. He looked at the turnips, and he
counted the turnips. And then he came slowly down the
stairs again, wondering what theold woman would say to him.
(46:25):
Well, says the old woman in her sharp voice, are they doing
nicely? Because if not, I know whose
fault it is. Damn this fucking bitch.
She's being such a bitch. They are doing finely, said the
old man. But some of them have gone,
indeed, quite a lot of them havebeen stolen away.
(46:48):
Stolen away, screamed the old woman.
How dare you stand there and tell me that Didn't you find the
thieves yesterday? Go and find those children again
and take a stick with you, and don't show yourself here till
you can tell me what they won't steal again in a hurry.
(47:10):
Let me have a quick bite to eat,begs the old man.
It's a long way to go on an empty stomach.
Not a mouthful, yells the old woman.
Off with you letting my turnips be stolen every night and then
talking to me about bites of food.
Yeah, dude, she's a tyrant. I'm not feeling her.
(47:30):
I was. Riding for you, Shenya.
I was. Riding for you?
And now I can't I I can't even cose.
On you dawg. You're being a total.
This is a reminder. You don't like?
Someone don't be around them, but if you.
Choose to live with someone, be it a friend.
(47:51):
Be it a. Roommate be it a lover like be,
let's be. Kind to each other.
Maybe we have. Issues.
Maybe we need some conflict resolution.
Maybe we even need to hire a professional to help navigate.
Our conflict resolutions but like treating each other like
garbage? No not cool.
Let's it's 2025 people. Let's move fucking past this.
(48:13):
I'm not loving. Jenya right now.
So, alas, the old man went off again without his dinner and
hobbled away into the forest as quickly as he could get out of
earshot of the old woman's scolding tongue.
As soon as he was out of sight, the old woman stopped screaming
after him and went into the house and opened the iron chest
(48:36):
and took out the tablecloth the children had given the old man.
Yep, I knew it. She laid it on the table instead
of her own. She told it to turn inside out
and up it flu and whirled and flopped down again on the table,
all covered with delicious things.
She ate as much as she could hold, and then she told the
(48:59):
tablecloth to turn outside in and folded it up and hit it away
again in the iron chest. Trifling.
Meanwhile the old man tightened his belt because he was so
hungry. He hobbled along through the
green forest till he came to thelittle Hut standing under the
(49:20):
pine trees. There was no smoke coming from
the chimney, but they were such a chattering you would have
thought that all the Vanyas and Mauricias in Holy Russia were
talking to each other inside. Oh, this is so cute because let
us not forget this is a story that a grandpa is telling his
(49:42):
two. Cute.
Granddaughters Vanya and Mauricias.
This is so sweet. He had no sooner come insight of
the little Hut, then the dozens and dozens of little queer
children came pouring out of thedoor to meet him, and every
single one of them had a turnip and showed it to the old man and
(50:02):
laughed and laughed as if it were the best joke in the world.
I knew it was you, said the old man.
Of course it was us, cried the children.
We stole the turnips. I'm obsessed with the queer.
Kids. Queer kids unite.
Let's go turnip hunting. Yes, but how did you get to the
(50:23):
top of the dovecot when the doorinto the house was bolted and
fast? The children laughed and laughed
and did not answer a word. Laugh you may, says the old man,
but it is I who get the scoldingwhen the turnips fly away in the
night. Never mind, never mind, cried
(50:44):
the children. We'll pay for the turnips.
Very well, says the old man. But the tablecloth of yours, it
was fine yesterday, but this morning it would not even give
me a glass of tea and a hunk of black bread.
At that the faces of the little queer children were troubled and
(51:06):
grave. For a moment or two they all
chattered together and took no notice of the old man.
Then one of them said, Well, this time we'll give you
something better. Will give you a goat.
A goat, says the old man. A goat with a cold on its head,
(51:29):
said the children. A cold what?
And they crowded round him and took him behind the Hut, where
there was a grey goat with a long beard cropping the short
grass. It's a good enough goat, says
the old man. I don't see anything wrong with
him. It's better than that, cried the
(51:50):
children. You tell the goat to sneeze.
The old man thought the childrenmight be laughing at him, but he
did not care, and he remembered the tablecloth.
So he took off his hat and bowedto the goat.
Sneeze, goat, says he. And instantly the goat started
sneezing, as if it would shake itself into pieces, and it
(52:14):
sneezed. Good gold pieces flew from it in
all directions till the ground was thick with them.
That's enough, said The childrenhurriedly tell him to stop.
For all this gold is no use to us, and it's such a bother
having to sweep it away. What problems?
(52:34):
Oh my God. Stop sneezing, goat, says the
old man. And the goat stopped sneezing
and stood there panting and out of breath in the middle of a sea
of gold pieces. The children began kicking the
gold pieces about, spreading them by walking through them as
as as if they were dead leaves. The decadence.
(52:57):
Love this. My father used to say that those
gold pieces are lying about still for anybody to pick up,
but I doubt if he knew just where to look for them, or he
would have, or he would have hadbetter clothes on his back and a
little more food on the table. But who knows, someday we may
(53:20):
come upon that little Hut somewhere in the forest, and
then we shall know what to look.For Oh my God, look for the
group of queer kids. I can give you a goat with a
cold who sneezes gold. This is so cool.
The children laughed and chattered and kicked the gold
pieces this way and that into the green bushes, and they
(53:43):
brought the old man into the Hutand gave him a bowl of kasha to
eat, because he had to have dinner.
There was no magic about the kasha, but it was good enough
kasha for all that, and hunger made it better.
What is kasha kasha? What is Kasha?
(54:05):
Kasha? What is Kasha?
More Googling it. Did you like my song?
OK Kasha is essentially like a buckwheat porridge.
Interesting. OK.
So they're eating buckwheat. Buckwheat porridge so.
(54:30):
When the old man had finished the kasha and drunk a glass of
tea and smoked a little pipe, hegot up and made a low bow and
thanked the children, and the children tied a rope to the goat
and sent the old man home with it.
He hobbled away through the forest, and as he went he looked
back and there were the little queer children all dancing
(54:53):
together, and he heard them chattering and shouting.
Who? Stole the turnips.
We stole the turnips. Who paid for the turnips?
We paid for the turnips. Who stole the tablecloth?
Who will pay for the tablecloth?Who will steal the turnips
again? We will steal the turnips again.
(55:14):
Yes. Yes, children.
Yes, children. Pop the corn, Feed the children.
Grow the turnips, feed the queerchildren.
I'm loving this. The old man was too pleased with
the goat to give much heed to what they said, and he hobbled
home through the green forest asfast as he could, with the goat
(55:36):
trotting and walking behind him,pulling leaves of the bushes to
chew as they hurried along. The old woman was waiting in the
doorway of the house. She was still as angry as ever.
Have you beaten the children? She screamed.
Have you beaten the children forstealing my good turnips?
No. Said the old man.
(55:57):
They paid for the turnips. What did they pay?
Well, they gave me this goat, hesaid.
That skinny old goat. I have 3 already, and the worst
of them is better than that. It has a cold in the head, says
the old man. Worse than ever, Screams the old
(56:23):
woman. Now wait a minute, says the old
man, as quickly as he could to stop her scolding.
Sneeze goat. And the goat began to shake
itself almost to bits. Sneezing and sneezing and
sneezing. The good gold pieces flew always
at once, and the old woman threw.
(56:45):
Herself after the gold pieces. Picking them up like an old hen
picking up corn. Did I not to?
Say pop the. Corn and feed the children.
I'm telling you, am I psychic? Hello.
As fast as she picked them up, more gold pieces came showering
down on her like a heavy gold hail, A golden shower perhaps,
(57:06):
beating her on her head and her hands as she grubbed after those
that had fallen already. Stop sneezing, goat, says the
old man. And the goat stood there tired
and panting, trying to get its breath.
But the old woman did not look up till she had gathered every
one of the gold pieces. When she did look up, she said,
(57:27):
there's no supper for you. I've had supper already.
This bitch, I'm so sick of her right now.
Boris, we need to break up with her.
The old man said nothing. He tied up the goat to the door.
Post of the House. Where it could eat the green
grass. Then he went into the house and
(57:47):
lay down and fell asleep at once, because he was an old man,
and he had done a lot of walking.
As soon as he was asleep, the old woman united the goat and
took it away and hid it in the bushes, and tied up one of her
own goats instead. They were my turnips, says she
to herself. And I don't see why he should
(58:09):
have. A share in the.
Gold. Then she went in and lay down,
grumbling to herself. This bitch is tripping.
Early in the morning she woke the old man.
Get up, you lazy fellow, says she.
You will lie all day and let allthe thieves in the world come in
(58:30):
and steal my turnips. Up with you to the dovecot and
see how my turnips are getting on.
Do you know who? I'm imagining Jenny looks like
Miss Trunchbull from Matilda. You know what I'm talking about.
That's what I'm seeing now. This is this is the picture I'm
painting. The old man got up and rubbed
(58:51):
his eyes and climbed up the rickety stairs, Creek, Creek,
Creek, holding on with both hands till he came to the top of
the house, to the top of the tower, to the top of the death
cot, and looked at the turnips. He was afraid to come down, for
they were hardly any turnips left at all.
(59:11):
And when he did come down the scolding of the old woman was so
much worse than the other scoldings rolled into one.
She was so angry that she shook like a rag in the high wind.
The old man put both hands to his ears and hobbled away into
the forest. He hobbled along as fast as he
(59:34):
could hobble until he came to the Hut under the pine trees.
This time the queer children were not hiding under the
blankets or the stove or chattering in the Hut.
They were all over the roof of the Hut, dancing and crawling
about. Some of them were even sitting
in the chimney, and every one ofthe little queer children was
(59:56):
playing with the turnip. As soon as they saw the old man,
they came tumbling off the roof,one after another, head over
heels, like a lot of peas rolling off a shovel.
I'm. Loving this imagery.
Peas rolling off a shovel. We stole the turnips.
(01:00:17):
They shouted before the old man could say anything at all.
I know you did, says the old man.
But that does not make it any better for me, and it is I who
get the scolding when the turnips fly away in the night.
Never again, shouted the children.
Well, I'm glad to hear that, says the old man.
(01:00:39):
And we'll pay for the turnips, said the queer children.
Thank you kindly, says the old man.
He hadn't the heart to be angry with those little queer
children. Three or four of them ran into
the Hut and came out again with a wooden whistle, a regular
whistle pipe such as shepherds use.
They gave it to the old man. I can never play that, says the
(01:01:04):
old man. I don't know one tune from
another, and if I did, my old fingers are as stiff as oak
twigs. Blow in it, cried the children,
and all the others came crowdinground, laughing and chattering
and whispering to each other. Is he going to blow in it?
They asked. Is he going to blow in it?
(01:01:27):
How they laughed. These creepy ass kids.
Let's take a break. Planet Earth can be a terrifying
place sometimes. Why is that?
Because of humanity, Human beings.
(01:01:47):
However, I would like to remind you that planet Earth is a
beautiful planet, and a big reason why is because of plants.
Plants are amazing. Plants are so magical.
Plants are the original OG life force on this planet.
Plants can heal us, and plants necessitate our health.
(01:02:15):
This is your. Reminder, maybe you should plant
a plant this year. If you're worried about plants,
maybe you can have a succulent like an agave.
Agave are amazing because it's almost impossible to kill agave.
And you can use them on your skin.
You can use them if you have a sunburn.
(01:02:36):
You can use them for moisturization.
You can actually drink the pulp if you ever have a cold.
Plants are incredible. The list goes on and you already
know, but research some plants. Plant a house and plant a house.
No Plant a plant within your house.
Maybe plant a tree? Outside of your house.
Everyone on earth planted a tree.
(01:02:58):
Today that would be almost 8 billion more trees.
Let's do this as a team, baby. And we're back, little Peppers.
I am at the edge of my seat. Is the man going to blow into
the magic? Whistle.
Obviously he has to. He'd be silly not to this man.
(01:03:21):
The old man took the whistle andgathered his breath and puffed
out his cheeks and blew in the whistle pipe as hard as he
could. And before he could take the
whistle from his lips, 3 lively whips had slipped out of it and
were beating him as hard as theycould go, although there was
(01:03:42):
nobody to hold them. Pew, Pew, Pew.
The three whips came down on himone after another.
Oh. Shit.
Blow again, the children shouted, laughing as if they
were mad. Blow again, quick, quick, quick
and tell the whips to get into the whistle.
The old man did not wait to be told twice.
(01:04:05):
He blew for all he was worth andinstantly the three whips
stopped beating him into the whistle.
He cried and the three lively whips shot up into the whistle
like 3 snakes going into a hole.What kind of witchery is this?
These kids are little freaks. I'm loving it.
(01:04:30):
He could hardly have believed that they had been out at all if
it had not been for the sorenessof his back.
You take that home, cried the children.
That'll pay for the turnips and put everything right.
Yes, justice. Justice for my man Boris.
(01:04:50):
Who knows, said the old man, andhe thanked the children and set
off home through the green forest.
Goodbye, cried the little queer children.
But as soon as he had started they forgot all about him.
When he looked round to wave hishand to them, not one of them
was thinking of him. They were up again on the roof
(01:05:10):
of the Hut, jumping over each other and dancing and crawling
about and rolling each other down the roof, and climbing up
again as if they had been doing nothing else all day, and they
were going to do nothing else till the end of the world.
Yeah, I'm trying to. I'm trying to quit everything
and join the little queer children.
Crew. This crew is lit turnip hunting,
(01:05:34):
leapfrogging, chilling on the roof.
Yeah, this is lit. The old man hobbled home through
the green forest with the littlewhistle stuck safely away in his
shirt. As soon as he came to the door
of the Hut, the old woman who was sitting inside counting the
gold pieces, jumped up and started her scolding.
(01:05:58):
What have the children tricked you with this time?
She screamed at him. Well, they gave me this little
whistle pipe, says the old man. And they're not going to steal
the turnips anymore. Oh.
Whistle pipe, she screamed. What's the good of that?
It's worse than the tablecloth and the skinny old goat.
(01:06:20):
The old man said nothing. Give it to me, screamed the old
woman. They were my turnips.
So it's my whistle pipe. Well, whatever you do, don't
blow in it, says the old man as he hands over the whistle pipe.
She wouldn't listen to him. What, says she, I must not blow
(01:06:42):
in my own whistle pipe. Yeah, bitch Justice.
And with that she put the whistle pipe to her lips.
And blue. Yeah, yeah, yes.
Yes, that's what I'm. Waiting.
For out jumped the three lively whips.
They flew up in the air and theybegan to beat her, Pew, Pew,
(01:07:03):
Pew, one after another. If they made the old man sore,
it was nothing to what they did to the cross.
Old woman. Stop them, stop them, she
screamed, running this way and that in the Hut with the whips
flying after her, beating her all the time.
I'll never scold you again. I am to blame.
(01:07:25):
I stole the magic tablecloth. I put the old one out instead.
I hid it in the iron chest. She ran to the iron chest and
opened it and. Pulled out the tablecloth.
Stop them, stop them, she screamed while the whips laid it
on hard and fast, one after another.
(01:07:45):
I am to blame. The goat that sneezes gold
pieces is hidden in the bushes. The goat by the door is one of
our old ones. I wanted all the gold for
myself. All this time the old man was
trying to get a hold of the whistle pipe, but the old woman
was running about the Hut so fast, with the whips flying
after her and beating her, that he could not get it out of her
(01:08:08):
hands. At.
Last, he grabbed it into the whistle, says he, and put it to
his lips and blue. In that moment the three lively
whips had hidden themselves in the whistle, and there was a
cross old woman kissing his handand promising never to scold
anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fucking
(01:08:29):
right. That's all right, says the old
man. And he fetched the sneezing goat
out of the bushes and made it sneeze a little gold, just to be
sure that it was the goat and noother.
Then he laid the table cloth on the table and told it to turn
inside out. Up it flew, and came down again
(01:08:50):
with the best dinner that was ever cooked, only waiting to be
eaten. And the old man and the old
woman sat down and ate till theycould eat no more.
The old woman rubbed herself nowand again, and the old man
rubbed himself too. What this is?
Sounding dirty, am I? Am I just a pervert?
(01:09:13):
I think they're like rubbing their wounds.
So I guess I am a pervert, OK. But there was never a crossword
between them again, and they went to bed singing like
nightingales. Is that the end of the story?
Is that her? What?
Is that the end of the story? Marusia always asked.
(01:09:36):
Is that all? Asked Vanya, though he knew it
was not Vanya. No, they said they were both.
Granddaughters. That's a.
That's a has to be a typo. Is that all asked?
Vanya, though she knew it was not.
There we go. Not quite, said old Peter.
(01:09:57):
But the tail won't go any quicker than my old tongue.
The next morning the old woman had forgotten about her promise.
I fucking knew it, I called it. And just from habit she set
about scolding the old man as ifthe whips had never jumped out
of the whistle. She scolded him for sleeping too
(01:10:17):
long. She sent him upstairs with a lot
of crosswords after him to go tothe top of the dovecot and see
how the turnips were getting on after.
Little the old. Man came down, the turnips are
coming on, grandly says he. And not a single one has gone in
the night. I told you the children said
(01:10:40):
they would not steal anymore. I don't believe you, said the
old woman. I'll see for myself.
And if they are gone, you shall pay for it and pay for it.
Well, up she jumped and tried toclimb the stairs, but the stairs
were narrow and steep and twisting.
She tried and tried and could not get up at all.
(01:11:01):
So she gets angrier than ever and starts scolding the old man
again. You must carry me up, says she.
I have to hold on with both hands or I couldn't get myself
up, says the old man. I'll get in the flower sack and
you must carry me up with your teeth, says she.
(01:11:21):
They're strong enough. Oh no, I'm not.
Liking this. This is a bad call.
The old woman got into the flower sack.
Don't ask me any questions, saysthe old man.
And he took the sack in his teeth and began slowly climbing
up the stairs, holding on with both hands.
He climbed and climbed, and he did not climb fast enough for
(01:11:43):
the old woman. Are we at the top?
Says she. The old man said nothing, but
went on climbing up and up, nearly dead.
With the weight of the old. Woman in the sack which he was
holding in his teeth. This is ludicrous.
He climbed a little further and the old woman screamed out.
(01:12:05):
Are we at the top now? We must be at the top.
Let me out, you fool. The old man said nothing.
He climbed on and on. The old woman raged in the
flower sack. She jumped about in the sack and
screamed at the old man. Are we near the top now?
Answer me. Can't you answer me at once, or
(01:12:26):
you will pay for this later. Are we near the top?
Very near, said the old man, andas he opened his mouth to say
that, the slack slipped from beneath between his teeth, and
bump, bump, bump, bump, the old woman in the sack fell all the
way to the very bottom, bumping on every step, and that was the
(01:12:50):
end of her. After that the old man lived
alone in the Hut. Damn.
When he wanted tobacco or clothes or new axe, he would
make the goat sneeze some gold pieces, and off he went to the
town with plenty of money in hispocket.
When he wanted his dinner he hadonly to lay the tablecloth down.
(01:13:12):
He never had any washing up to do, because the tablecloth did
it for him, and when he wanted to get rid of troublesome guests
he would give them the whistle to blow.
And when he was lonely and wanted company, he went to the
little Hut under the pine trees and played with the little queer
children. Shut up.
(01:13:35):
That was such a good story, Justice.
For my man Boris. Love Boris.
Deserved it. I love that story.
That was so much fun. I want to meet the little queer
children in the pine forest. I'm on a magical tablecloth.
I would love a magical goat. I'm I'm just loving this
(01:13:56):
fantasy. I want a giant garden.
I want a dovecot. I want turnips on the roof.
Like, honestly, this is this is beautiful.
I mean, I loved this whole fantasy.
Thank you so much for listening 2025.
It's going to be a really exciting year.
I'm really working on putting episodes out weekly.
(01:14:18):
Mondays are my goal, I'm going to be putting videos on YouTube,
I'm going to be doing 2 meditations a month for free and
then I will have extra meditations on my Patreon and I
just feel so grateful. Thank you for listening.
I have so much fun reading this,please take good care of you.
(01:14:39):
Over and out, baby boy.
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