November 7, 2024 • 52 mins
Therapy Thursday!!
After a summer of soul-searching and self-care, Janet Hale, our beloved "hippie mama," returns to kick off Season Four of Essential Mental Healing with a heartwarming and honest reflection on mental health. Imagine the profound impact of a child's wisdom when Janet's daughter gently nudges her to confront her struggles, reminding us all of the strength found in familial love. Through laughter and sincerity, we explore how acknowledging our children's concerns can lead to a deeper journey of self-love and healing.
This episode promises a transformative experience as we celebrate personal milestones, launch empowering coaching programs, and nurture authentic connections. Picture yourself finding joy in the unexpected, like a bump on the head that serves as a gentle reminder to look around and treasure life's small moments. Join us as we explore the essence of living your dreams, fueled by gratitude and the unwavering support of loved ones, and discover how embracing love and kindness can overcome life's challenges.
Host Candace Fleming
Co-host Janet Hale
visit the website at https://www.essentialmotivation.com/
visit the store at https://shopessentialmotivation.com/
Instagram instagram.com/essentialmotivationllc
visit Janet's website https://haleempowermentllc.com/
To be a guest on our show email me at candacefleming@essentialmotivation.com
In the subject line put EMH Guest
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 988
Music by Lukrembo: https://soundcloud.com/lukrembo
Provided by Knowledge Base: https://bit.ly/2BdvqzN
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Candace Patrice (00:04):
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing.
Guys, we are back for seasonfour, and y'all already know
who's with me and she shall notleave us this season.
Okay, season four JennJy Haleis back in the.
Janet Hale (00:28):
I'm back in the house.
ippee, mom is back.
I'm glad to be back.
Yes, I am.
It's been a minute it has.
Candace Patrice (00:38):
All things have been great.
We left season three in June,went on our summer break After
season one y'all we did a fullyear with no break and I lost my
mind.
And then we decided to take abreak in season two, um, between
the months of June and November, or between the months of June
(00:58):
and October, resume in November,just to have that mental space
with.
I have a nine-year-old daughterand summer, and then her
birthday is in September.
So getting reacclimated to that, without the stressors of
podcasting and editing, cause Ido all that y'all.
But here we are.
(01:19):
So, janet, mother, lovely,lovey, oh, come on now.
Come on now.
How how am I?
How was your summer?
How was your birthday?
We didn't have a birthdayepisode.
How was?
(01:40):
How are you today?
Like we know you had someMedical things last season.
So how did you today?
Like we know you had somemedical things last season.
So how did you come through?
Where you at, where you at inseason four?
Let's talk about where I'm at.
Janet Hale (01:52):
Let me talk about it .
Let me say first of all, I'mvery grateful and very thankful
for this day and all those daysthat we will speak upon.
I'm glad to hear that you tooktime out for self-care, because
I see you, they don't seeeverything.
I see you do a lot and it mademe feel very proud.
(02:15):
When you were like I need totake a break, I thought, dang
good, I'm glad you realized it,because we all need to take a
break and this program is aboutmental healing, it's about
self-care, it's about how do welove ourselves, how do we do
what we need to do in order tocare for ourselves, because we
(02:36):
talk about some heavy things onthis program and you know, we
laugh and we talk and we dothese things, but we actually
live through a lot of thingsthat we talk about, yeah, and so
, as we talk about it, I thinkit's also good to display how we
take care of each ourselves.
(02:57):
Mm-hmm, in moments of, I'm doingA, b and C, because you guys,
you're not out here alone,mm-hmm, we are all out here
trying to make it.
Yeah, you know, and during thebreak, I had a medical situation
happen and I had to livethrough that and still dealing
with that a little bit, but it'snot all.
(03:18):
Anyway, some of it was mentaltoo and I had to work through
some emotional baggage, somerealizations of some fears.
I had to have my daughter lookme in the face and say, mom, oh
(03:39):
no, I need you to do better.
I'm telling on you yes, she did, yes, she did To the hippie
mama.
She came in my house and shelooked at me.
She said I don't know.
I mean I be, you know exact.
So I'm paraphrase Mom, I needyou to get it together because I
(04:01):
don't like what I see.
I need you to get yourselftogether because right now you
are in a block.
I don't know what this is about.
You said I'm going to tell it,I'm telling everybody.
She said Mama, get it together.
I need you to get it together,she said, because I want you
around here.
So it was a very powerfulconversation.
(04:24):
Now, mind you, I'm the mother,everyone just in case.
And so when she left, I was Ihave a favorite chair, I was
sitting in my favorite chair,kind of messed up.
And the thing is because, asadults and I talk about this
(04:45):
often being a mother with anadult child, not only a mother
to an adult child, but a motherto an adult woman who's also a
mother, who's able to reflectand look at her mother as a
woman, not just a mom.
I know mom has nothing to dowith it, I know her mother as a
woman, not just her mom.
I know mom has nothing to dowith it.
I know you know, mom, youcoming on here you don't have it
(05:09):
together.
I'm noticing it.
I'm watching you right now.
It's been in my spirit to tellyou this.
Candace Patrice (05:22):
That's why I don't remember, because when the
Holy Spirit speak, it don't beme, okay, it's the Spirit coming
through me, out me, to you, youknow.
Janet Hale (05:31):
See, this is what I love about this program, because
we are different in many waysand very much alike at the same
time.
And it's beautiful.
I love it.
So she just came in and justread me the you know the rites
and all kind of things.
So she just came in and justread me the you know the rights
and all kind of things.
So I said, oh, you know, I mean.
And then, wait, you guys, shedidn't pause and check my
(05:51):
thoughts.
You see, if I was okay.
She said her piece and was gone.
I said, oh wait, I'm left.
Oh, whoa, hold up.
But see, here's the thing aboutthat, though, because when we
start doing work on ourselvesthis is my belief, it may not be
(06:12):
everyone's is when we'reconfronted and someone loves us
enough to confront us, becauseit takes love to do that Say hey
, I see you.
I don't like what I see, Idon't know what's going on, but
I need you to find you right now.
Right now, you seem a littlelost she said like that.
(06:34):
But you know I'm trying to makeher sound nice well.
Candace Patrice (06:39):
I thought that I was super nice when we came
out you know how we receivethings is a real thing, you know
Okay it's cool.
Janet Hale (06:49):
I was a receiver and I received it, so it's about
the person who was receiving it.
Candace Patrice (06:56):
Okay, that's facts, that's facts.
And then the person needs tohear the receiver and understand
what they were receiving.
Janet Hale (07:05):
So here, I'm about to go there and that is like I
said.
She didn't take my pause.
So that part is true.
She didn't she left off thelove, but the thing is she loved
me enough to do that, becausenot everyone is able to do that,
to say, hey, I love you, I needto say something to you.
(07:26):
She ran out real quick, so Idon't know if she did that, so I
didn't say anything back.
Candace Patrice (07:29):
I'm not real clear.
Janet Hale (07:30):
But I said in that four minutes you know I was like
, you know I am stuck.
Okay, oh, wait, you guys, letme tell you what else she said.
She's like mama.
You guys, let me tell you whatelse she said.
She's like Mama, you keepcalling me to help you do stuff.
(07:52):
You have your master's degree,you know how to do things, blah,
blah, blah.
Okay, you guys, let me telly'all this part.
I don't know if I told her thispart, but I think I did.
So.
I had disconnected that CashApp.
I hadn't used it in years.
Okay, well, it was a cash appmoment.
I had to figure out how to putthe cash back.
(08:15):
So, wait, I'm sitting there,I'm holding the phone.
I said I'm not calling her.
She said I need to figurethings out and, dear audience to
all the millions of people thatare listening, hippie mama got
it together.
She got the cash and the bone.
So you know, this break hasbeen very interesting for me as
(08:43):
far as career change, as far asmy mindset, as far as certain
things coming up that I didn'teven realize.
Candace and I were talking theother day about something.
I said, candace, I neverconnected this particular
situation with that.
She said, oh, I get it, I getit.
(09:05):
She didn't either.
I was like, yeah, Wow Okay.
So you know, it's just, it'sbeen a time of reflection, it's
been a time of and everybodyknow I'm not religious so we
won't say that Can't stop mefrom saying that but I'm not
Okay, is it all right Okay?
Candace Patrice (09:25):
Wait, is it okay?
I mean, can you not bereligious and be spiritual?
Is that a thing?
Janet Hale (09:30):
I get a kick out of saying I'm not religious.
I get a kick out of it.
But I say all that to say this,because you know, times are
changing and I'm changing andlife is changing.
And I remember sometimes Iwould get a little worried and
I'd say, well, hold on, I'vebeen around for a minute, 61
(09:56):
years minutes, and I said, youknow, I've been protected and
taken care of all these years,why now would I not be?
So the process is abouttrusting the process.
And here's the thing and I knowKen is going to jump on this
word because she'll be jumpingon this word it's about having
(10:19):
faith.
Candace Patrice (10:21):
Ooh, it's a process.
Janet Hale (10:23):
You're right.
You're right, I like that.
You're going to jump on that.
I want it.
It's about the faith and theprocess, because I can remember
worrying some days and thengetting to bed and say, why did
I waste my day on that?
And I'm going to tell you whatI mean by that.
See, I ate that day.
I still have my car that day.
Food was in the refrigeratorthat day.
(10:44):
Oh wait, let's start with this.
I woke up that day so I said Iwasted a whole day.
To me, that was a sweat.
Yeah, I worry.
What was I worried about?
Watching the TV shows, I wonder?
Candace Patrice (11:00):
I mean, everything works itself out yeah
, and that is literally howeverything is when we start to
well, okay, can I jump in?
Okay, before I jump in, yourbirthday.
Did you want to touch on that?
Did you remember the birthdaythis year, or was it like it was
a good birthday and we can keepmoving?
Janet Hale (11:24):
Okay, it was a good birthday, great, it was a good
birthday, but oh, but anytime,any birth, oh man.
Okay, you made me think ofsomething.
Candace Patrice (11:32):
Oh wait, uh-uh, she's going to go tangifying it
, I can see I want to tell themabout my summer too.
Yeah, we got to share, I knowright.
Two talkers needing to sharetime and space.
We find a way to do it.
So I'm going, I'm jumping in.
Okay, jump in.
So from your birthday to today,we had a very successful summer,
(12:00):
a very eventful summer, andKamari and I actually managed to
go on a cruise we managed to goto.
We were in Florida, we did thebeach, we did the cruise, we did
Las Vegas, we did California, Idid the Grand Canyon, and we
(12:24):
had road trips together, likefrom those places, from one
place to the next place, andthen we just kind of lived.
We found a way to not have atight itinerary and it was just
okay.
What are we going to do?
What does today bring?
We left a way to not have atight itinerary and it was just
okay.
What are we going to do?
What does today bring?
We left Nevada going toCalifornia and, because of the
time we left, we just literallywent straight to the beach.
(12:45):
There was no stopping going toanyone's home.
We changed in the car, wentstraight to the beach.
Then we left the beach and wentto meet up with a friend at a
restaurant.
Then we hit our location wherewe were sleeping and just had a
great night, like everythingjust seemed to flow.
And when I say everything flows, I meant from sun up to sun,
(13:10):
down to moon, up to moon down.
I know right, we forget thatthere is something beyond the
sun up and sun down and weappreciate it and enjoy.
I mean, we looked At the skyand saw how pretty the moon
itself Was, how pretty the starswere.
(13:30):
The sky in California is alittle different Than the sky
here.
Even I know it's clearer, likeI don't know what it is, but
something there is a littledifferent.
Very nice.
Um.
Then her birthday was amazing.
She wanted a hotel party andshe got that.
(13:51):
Um, and she said it was thebest birthday that she ever had.
It was the most last minuteplanned one for me, but it was
being planned and executed intime to happen when it was time.
So that was beautiful.
And I personally have been doinga lot of internal reflecting
(14:15):
and also trying to recognize andunderstand the difference
between emotions and feelingsand what really is what I have
control of and what I don't, andworking with the things that I
have control of to create joy inmy life, no matter what is
happening in any aspect, whetherI fall and bump my head and I
(14:37):
just know huh well, that hurt.
Today.
I mean, get back up.
Funny example I got out the carI was on my way to church, got
out the car looking down inbetween two really big old
trucks and then I get All theway to church.
All the way to church, this isit.
So we get in the parking spacein between these two big old
trucks, which Kamari looked atand was like, look, these are my
(14:58):
two dads, they're big trucks,like okay, cool.
So we're like I look, get out,look down, because the step
stool is so high that it's just,I don't know, I'm just looking
down.
By the time I look up, I hitthe windshield of the driver's
side on my forehead and wentdown to the ground, y'all.
(15:19):
I looked down and I looked backup at the sick guy and I said,
huh God, I wonder what themessage is in that, because that
hurt.
So for me I took the message aslook up, let's look up.
And so whenever I'm on a walk orI'm doing things now, I remind
(15:40):
myself to look up.
Now, looking up has allowed meto experience certain things
Things in the trees that wedon't pay attention to, the sky,
just everything that happens inour life when we look up
opposed to looking down.
So that is one really greattakeaway.
(16:02):
The other thing got my coachingprogram going.
So I'm now doing one-on-onelife coaching as well as
one-on-one self-developmentcoaching, as well as group
self-development coaching, whichis so amazing.
It's another step to what Iwant to do.
I've always known I want towork with women girls.
(16:25):
It's funny enough.
My first one-on-one client's aguy, the coaching is a guy, but
the mindset development havebeen women so far.
But that's, I mean, who knew?
Who knew?
I didn't know, but seeingsomething I wanted to do as a
kid starting to, or at least ateenager starting to come to
(16:48):
fruition in a way that makessense, Like I feel like this is
the time when I have enoughexperience to begin feeding into
people, I found that thissummer I can't be quiet.
I have taken a very extensiveroute into my spiritual realm
(17:10):
and what that looks like andapplying that to my life and
sharing that with others, inwhatever capacity that is for
them, or God, Buddha, universe,you know, the higher power, the
being, the energy that's toogreat to put a name to, as my
mother would say, and justreally really honing in on that.
(17:32):
And also relationship building,authentic relationship building
.
It's not about are you going tobe a client later.
It's this is our momenttogether and whatever I can
provide to you in this moment,even if it's just a conversation
, if it's a positive way ofthinking for the moment, if it's
(17:53):
comfort, if it's a safe place,if there is something positive I
can bring to your life in thatmoment, I want to be able to do
so and not, I don't know, justfocusing on for me what God
intended for us to do.
And when I read the Bible and Ilook at when man was created
(18:13):
and what we have dominion over,it wasn't about finances and
being on top.
It was about caring for eachother and, to my understanding,
one of the greatest commands ofall is love thy neighbor as
thyself, which makes sense,because love is the greatest of
all things.
(18:33):
So if we can love ourselves andthen love someone else the same
way, then we're doing it.
Whatever.
It is what I believe it to bein the world, Like we're here to
do this and there's just somuch.
I'm finding my purpose in thisworld, or what I believe, or I
(18:55):
think maybe I knew my purpose,but I'm finding how to utilize
my purpose in this lifetime.
So that's been kind of myjourney from then to now, and
continuing that is so good, it'sjust so good.
Things were in a very difficultspace at one point.
(19:18):
Things were in a very difficultspace at one point, Like even
you all have.
If you've been here sinceseason one, you already know
like I started off here in amarriage and I'm no longer in a
marriage.
So you guys have been able tohear kind of how I'm progressing
(19:41):
and finding highs in life and Ifind that there are so many
more highs in life than thereare lows and it makes the lows
so small Because it's like youknow they're going to be over.
It's just what's the solutionmoving forward.
(20:03):
I see you writing.
Janet Hale (20:04):
Go ahead and talk it okay, I think so it's you
mentioned earlier, andcongratulations on all your
accomplishments thank you, thankyou for being a part of it and
helping me through it.
You're welcome you're, but Ilike to hear that you are moving
forward and getting the thingsdone that you wish to get done,
(20:24):
because many people is theresomething about a dream deferred
.
I can't remember the rest of it, but when we just dream and not
do anything about it and justdream, dream, dream.
Candace Patrice (20:39):
A dream deferred is like a raisin in the
sun or something like that.
Janet Hale (20:43):
Mm-mm, it's something I can't remember.
For whatever, it's real goodtoo, but you are living the
dream A dream deferred is adream denied, that's it.
That's it.
That's it, thank you, and so tohear you talk about that.
(21:19):
But what I found interesting inlistening to you talk and
wanting to working with women,that he must not be forgotten,
because he is also a part of theequation.
In my opinion, my humbleopinion, we can get so focused
(21:42):
on the feminine or the femaleand all those things, when
oftentimes men need to benurtured and taught how to deal
with us, how to, and so I foundit interesting that he was your
(22:05):
first client and that just ranga bell for me with that and I
don't know, oh, utilizing you,utilizing the different things
for you, and I thought about youknow, and I want to bring these
things.
You're bringing things andbringing light and bringing
(22:26):
knowledge to what you're doingand how oftentimes, when we are
in a place like that, it isactually the reverse.
It is the things that arebrought to us to enlighten us,
to teach us and to help us grow.
And I and you know the kind ofwork I've done and I've had to
(22:49):
say that to some folks who, well, I just want to help people.
I get that I do I want to do allthat too, but at the end of the
day, when I sit down and thinkabout a lot of things that I've
done in my lifetime, I have toreflect on me, you know, and
what did I learn from that?
Even in the process ofassisting others and learning
(23:11):
what they need to learn, whathave I learned about that?
And so that was one of thethings I thought about that, and
so that was one of the things Ithought about, and I'm glad you
brought up being married, beingdivorced, going through things,
changing and allowing others tobe witness to that.
I watched you today.
(23:32):
I couldn't have been more proudwhat happened, and I say that
because of the co-parenting.
I couldn't have been more proudwhat happened, and I say that,
can I, can I?
Okay?
I say that because of theco-parenting, co-parenting.
I say that because I watchedtwo mothers, um, that care for
(23:56):
my granddaughter, one being herbiological mother, one being her
dad's partner, and she had twoof her kids, and then your
friend was there and howeveryone was so gentle to one
another.
There was no mean or giving youthe evil eye.
(24:20):
It was all in love, like hey,we are here together, let's do
this thing, and I was just soproud and I was watching you,
kamari, and your friend, walkingto the car and I said, look at
that.
And I thought of my mom, mm-hmm.
And I said, oh, look at that.
And I thought of my mom and Isaid, oh, mama, look at this.
(24:43):
What would I get to see?
I am so grateful.
Watch this, like okay, this iswhat this is.
Just to watch that growth and towatch Kamari grow and to watch
her develop relationships, evenat the school, which was funny
(25:08):
because you know I can't not getthere early.
If I go to school, you betterbe early because they be early.
And so when I came in and Isaid, well, I'm not sure where
to sit, and the woman saidwhat's her name, and I said come
on.
she said okay, sit right therebecause she's gonna be right
(25:31):
there, oh wow, oh, thank youokay, you're good and um, but
those are the kind of momentsthat are so wonderful to me even
though it may sound small, butfor me it was big.
It was just so big, you know,because she knew who I was
talking about, right, and sheknew what she could do to
(25:55):
accommodate so that Kamari couldsee Sugamama.
Because I was right there, Iwas on court side, you guys,
court side, I was there watchingher do her thing and watching
the coach and just being a partof that experience, I'm just
grateful that you guys includeme in things like that that I
(26:19):
get to see, I don't have to hear.
Candace Patrice (26:23):
Well, Kamari loves to have you.
I'm glad she loves me and Ithink she really understands
what a grandmother is or who agrandmother is.
So her relationship with you isimportant, yes, and she enjoys
(26:44):
the relationship you have, notbecause it's your relationship,
it's not, it's not fake, it'snot catered to the way that I
would do things.
You know, and not to say thatyou don't respect the way that I
do things but you have your youhave your super mama role you
know, they're just yeah.
And I'm like I like ice creamfor breakfast, yeah, and I'm
(27:07):
really grateful that I can.
I can see and not try tocontrol that, which is difficult
because when you become amother and you have all of these
things that you want done andhow you want them done, and
especially if you're a controlfreak who just wants things a
certain way but relinquishingthat to be like it's not all the
(27:29):
time, like let them have theirtime.
It might be an ice cream day,okay, and popsicles that might
be the only thing she eats.
And no, that's usually not thecase when I say that it's not
really the point is.
it's just letting go of that andletting you all have your
whatever it is, and then, when Iget her back, we'll jump back
(27:51):
into our own routines.
Janet Hale (27:52):
Yeah, get her into the withdrawal.
Candace Patrice (27:54):
She comes there and stays up to four and five
in the morning, but so did I asa kid.
Janet Hale (28:01):
You did, you did.
Candace Patrice (28:03):
You didn't make me go.
If it was a weekend or not, youand Q would be on that phone
laughing.
I'm talking about as an 8, 9,10, 11, 12, 13.
When there was no schoolparents went to sleep.
Janet Hale (28:16):
Don't tell all our business.
Candace Patrice (28:17):
No, I mean, I think that's just a generational
thing.
Parents went to sleep.
They were like kids go be aliveand be here tomorrow when we
wake up, Please.
Thank you, and we all knew tojust be alive in the morning
that was the only really realrequirement, Like don't burn the
house down and stay alive.
Janet Hale (28:39):
So you meant to yourself being a control freak,
right?
So for me, words have a lot ofpower in my opinion that's what
you want to say, that and um,I've watched you become less of
that.
I'm watching that change, so II would be.
You know, it'd be nice to foryour verbiage to change on that.
Candace Patrice (28:59):
Oh yeah, I'm not.
I'm sorry.
When I said that, I meant whenI had her.
Things have changed.
I've evolved, I'm understandinghow to let go.
That's, and I think that's whatI was saying earlier.
As far as what I can control,and really taking advantage of
what I can and really let go ofwhat I cannot, because we can
(29:19):
voice our opinions on things andwe can also remove ourselves
from situations that don't serveus.
That's a whole other podcast.
Janet Hale (29:31):
Okay, because I was going to say the control freak
thing that you're talking about.
I enjoy you so much, even ifyou were not my daughter.
I enjoy you because you have anopen mind and you listen, and
(29:52):
even if we don't agree becausewe don't always agree y'all,
just in case you didn't know butwe'll listen to one another and
say I'll see how you can see itthat way oh, we had a good
moment last week with that ohman, that whoa it's going into
family history yes
Candace Patrice (30:12):
and you know, guys let me say this to anyone
listening if you want to have aconversation with someone, throw
your own belief system to theside for a second to just hear
the other person's belief system.
Not that you have to agree withit in any way, shape or form,
(30:32):
but look at it, see how theyarrived where they arrived,
because we all haven't had thesame experiences to arrive there
.
And conversations that I havewith my mom, conversations I
have with my sister, a lot oftimes their perspective does
come from an experience that hashappened to them in the past or
(30:52):
something they've witnessedhappen to someone else, and a
lot of times the response isabout not repeating that cycle.
That's what that response is,and if you haven't lived what
their experience is, then youhave to listen and be empathetic
(31:14):
to that and maybe if you are ina position to offer a different
perspective.
However, they are not requiredto take that and do something
with that perspective.
It's okay to offer it, butrespect if they don't want to
use that perspective.
Janet Hale (31:30):
And I want to.
I want to expound on that andsay this that it is okay and see
, cause there's a generationaldifference.
I'm mom, you're my daughter,all that stuff.
It is okay for us as the olderperson, the parent or however
(31:53):
you want to put it, to bequestioned.
It is okay for us to expand ourminds.
It is okay sometimes to say youknow what?
That's a new way of looking atthat.
Let me take a look at that.
It is okay to be open becausethe bottom line is about
openness and for me, I want mydaughter and my son although I
(32:18):
was talking about him, I said Italk like Brandon's still here.
I'm just talking because for mehe is, and so it's just
important to share informationand to be authentically who I am
to my children and to mygrandchildren and to anyone who
meets me.
This is Janet.
(32:38):
Janet is a hippie.
Now, let me share that, becausesometimes when I say hippie,
people think I'm on psychedelicsand stuff.
I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't.
Hippie is a way of thinking forme, so I just wanted to clear
that up.
Hippie means to have an openmind.
Hippie means to be able towatch other people, listen to
(33:04):
other people and get anunderstanding of what it is that
they're trying to convey Right.
So it may not be what I like orit may not be what I do, but let
me hear about you.
Like you know, jehovah Witnesspeople.
She came by.
Did I tell you that, candice,she always comes by.
Yeah, but she had stopped for awhile because she got a little
sick or something.
Oh, yeah, you told me she camewith someone else.
Yeah, she came by right,because you know.
Hey, come on by, let's you know,hey, and she brought somebody
(33:25):
and I was like I have a joke, Ithink they have a hat and they
have numbers and I say, whowants to meet the hippie?
They pull the number becauseshe brings somebody different.
We have a great time and so umand then.
So when I talk about being ahippie, those are the types of
things that I'm talking aboutthat I'm able to sit across the
(33:46):
table from somebody who does notshare the same beliefs that I
do, or that I don't have all thefacts about their belief so
that I can better understandthem.
Candace Patrice (33:58):
But it sounds like at the very basis, you have
something in common and that isjust the pure understanding of
human to human.
You're a human, I'm a human.
Just share this love momenttogether.
You know that's right, don'tyou?
I wanted to also.
Janet Hale (34:16):
You said Okay, go, I'm scared you're going to write
it down.
I did, that's where I was going.
Candace Patrice (34:21):
There's a Write it down.
I did.
That's where I was going.
Janet Hale (34:22):
So there's a situation that happened.
I must share this man Okay, Idon't even think I told you I
don't know.
And so the phone call comes in.
There's this thing going onabout some luggage or something.
And I get the call and I'mworking some things out, and I'm
talking to this person and he'slike apologizing.
(34:44):
And I'm like what do youapologize?
He said because I'm a littleanxious and you know.
And I said, okay, but you knowwe're going to work this out.
And so you know we did all ourthings right.
I said call me and let me knowhow things work out for you.
The next day I get a call.
The next day I get a call.
He says I want to thank you fortaking the time with me and
(35:07):
calming me down.
I didn't realize that I didn't,I was just doing me.
He was probably tripping onthat, but that's okay.
And we end up on the phone forover an hour Just talking, just
sharing.
I mean, mean, he got into somepolitical things.
(35:27):
You know, I don't do political.
I'd be like, okay, but I listen.
I was like, wow, that'sinteresting.
I need to look that up.
I didn't know that.
Oh, thank you.
So, um, but from human to human, because we are each other's
business Period.
We are the smile on the face,the pat on the back, whatever.
Candace Patrice (35:54):
Whatever?
Janet Hale (35:55):
it is we can do to make someone else's life better
or bearable.
That's all we can do.
Let it be what it be.
So you're right With theJehovah, with all of them.
Hey, listen, I'm here.
Look I had a coffee, look I gotcup.
I don't want everybody comingover, but I have, uh, uh, what
do you call it?
The cream?
Um, flavor cream.
And oh, we can sit down, justhave a great time.
(36:18):
I open the windows.
We set the dining table.
We have a great time.
I open the windows, we sit atthe dining room table.
We have a great time becauselife is about living.
Candace Patrice (36:25):
It is.
Janet Hale (36:25):
It's about living.
I want to live this life, youguys.
Candace Patrice (36:29):
Look at this sun ray in my video.
It's beautiful Actually, I seecolors, it's a lot happening it
is.
Janet Hale (36:37):
It's beautiful, but go ahead.
You were going to say something.
I had to say what I had to say.
Candace Patrice (36:42):
I heard you earlier mention the word
gratitude and I just I wanted totalk about gratitude very
quickly, Just how we can begrateful.
Janet Hale (36:54):
That's her giving me a warning.
Candace Patrice (36:56):
No, myself as well, okay, myself as well, okay
, just how we can carrygratitude throughout our days.
And that goes back into thepositive mindset.
And I remember having therapyand the therapist telling me to
download this app and track mygratitude.
And I remember not doing it andI said I don't want to, I don't
(37:18):
feel gratitude, I don't like it, I don't want like this isn't
anything.
Feel gratitude, I don't like it, I don't like.
This isn't anything.
I feel like doing this is achore, it's a task and it's not
fun.
At the time I just couldn't.
But that's the space that I was, I was in and I'm sure there
are others in that same.
You know we say it like oh, justpractice gratitude.
That's not always easy, it'sjust not.
(37:43):
It's something once you beginto do it and it becomes easy.
It's so easy to tell someoneelse to just practice it because
it's like I'm doing it, can'tyou do it.
But there are times and spacesand places where gratitude
doesn't even seem like a realword, something you can even,
because people can be so angryor in such a depressive state
that that's all they can see isblack.
(38:04):
And if you can, the gratitudecomes in the small things and
it's saying it to yourself,whether it's waking up.
And I know for some people,waking up isn't always their
gratitude, because they're goingback into mess and it's, you
know, like what can.
(38:25):
How do you find joy in mess?
How do you move forward wheneverything feels so big or so
wrong or so bad and the peoplearound you are making you feel
little and insignificant andyou're wanting to please someone
(38:46):
else just so that they can feel, make you feel important?
And you know there's there's somany things that aren't good
for everybody and it.
You know I want to spend thisseason helping the lost see the
light again, like that's whatwe've been doing.
(39:07):
That's what I want to continueto do this season.
We have a lot of great guestswho are going to be here and
have stories that are just.
They've been through it, theycome out of it and they're
continuing to work on themselvesand help others.
So I hope that everyone who'slistening has an opportunity to
(39:32):
take something from it.
Look at the topics and see ifthere's something that resonates
with you.
We won't stay on the problem orthe heartbreak or the
downwardness of our lives.
We'll discuss it forrelatability, but we're going to
give you guys, tips on workingthrough those and letting you
(39:52):
know you're not alone in this,like we've been through a lot of
it.
There are others who've beenthrough it and maybe you just
need to hear someone else did it.
Janet Hale (40:03):
Yes.
Candace Patrice (40:04):
They made it through in the darkest depths of
things.
So this season we're definitelygoing to continue to give you
guys that I do so practicing thegratitude.
If you can find one thing to begrateful for a day, or just
anything just today, if you canfind anything to be grateful for
(40:24):
, take that with you for therest of as long as you can,
until you can find somethingelse to be grateful for, to show
gratitude towards.
I wanted to ask a quickquestion before we leave,
because we're about to wrap up.
I was given the question.
I was given a question, achallenge of what will, what
(40:46):
would you have told your 20 yearold self?
If you could go back and talkto your 20 year old self, what
advice would it be?
I have an answer and I wouldlike to hear yours first and
then I'll give you mine.
Janet Hale (41:01):
So I have an answer and I would like to hear yours
first and then I'll give youmine.
My answer to the 20-year-oldJanet would be you are okay just
the way you are.
It is okay for people to seeyou.
There's no need to hide.
They will love you anyway.
I would tell that 20 year oldbecause I remember the people
(41:24):
pleasing all kinds of stuff andI realized once I let all that
go I'm still working on it, butmost of it go that man, people
think I'm pretty cool.
Candace Patrice (41:39):
They're like she's kind of cool she's a
little out there.
Janet Hale (41:41):
She's kind of cool.
She's a little out there, butshe's kind of cool.
So I would talk to my20-year-old.
What would you say?
Candace Patrice (41:49):
I would tell myself, my 20-year-old self, to
trust myself in the decisionsthat I make and also that
happiness comes from within.
And I would try, probablyreading the Bible a little more,
to get those tangibleinstructions earlier on.
(42:09):
I'm glad that.
But, however, with that, Idon't know if I would have
interpreted it the same as I donow, but I don't know.
But I think I would tell myselfthat, like hey, just see what
it's about.
I think I would tell myselfthat, like hey, just see what
it's about.
Okay.
Janet Hale (42:23):
Okay, I want to interject as a mom.
Right, quick.
Yep, when you talk about thatand you said reading the Bible
or something like that, um, youwere living the values of this
Bible before you picked it up.
Candace Patrice (42:49):
I know it's more of a confirmation.
Okay.
Janet Hale (42:53):
So I needed to say that to you.
Candace Patrice (42:55):
No, so what I, what I like and why I say read
the Bible more is I like havingthe resources at my hands now.
So when I speak to people and Isay talk about the story of Job,
or if I talk about the book ofEcclesiastes and how we find
living our lives, or it'shearing how Jesus responded to
(43:19):
questions with questions andgiving examples of things like
for us to think about.
There was a lot of things whenhe didn't give a lot of answers,
but when the questions allowyou to apply it to your own life
because it's a meaning, it's amoral to it.
Opposed to, this is the answer,because that answer doesn't
(43:40):
always apply to every situation.
When you give it direct likethat, but sometimes you can give
the meaning behind the answer,the deeper parts of it, like ask
yourself this question am I agood person?
Opposed to?
Should I help people get shoes?
I don't know.
Just be good.
At the end of the day there wasa, an episode of oh the good no,
(44:02):
it wasn't the good dinosaur.
We were watching something andit was the guy's first day at
work and the mother told himwhen he left to go to work just
be as helpful as you can.
It was Bluey.
We were watching Bluey and so.
(44:23):
But he went in and the dadcouldn't figure out what the
sign language was and he askedthe new worker and he's like can
you help me identify this?
And the guy's like it played inhis head just be as helpful as
you can.
It had nothing really to dowith like a sale or anything,
but he's like an opportunity andhe figures it out and it's just
(44:45):
like sometimes we just have tobe helpful the best way that we
can.
It doesn't have to be what yourjob description is, it's just
are you being a good person?
Are you choosing to just begood?
And so seeing that was reallygood, okay, okay.
Janet Hale (45:03):
Go so you confirm what I just said about you.
But I wanted to say this Okay.
And this applies to any, all ofthem, all the religions, I don't
care, okay, but I do believethis for those who are religious
, that, but I do believe thisfor those who are, you know,
religious that each person thatwalks this earth is a reflection
(45:31):
of the God that they want torepresent.
So let me break it down just alittle bit, because you look a
little like where are you goingwith this?
Break it down just a little bitbecause you look a little like
where are you going with this?
So, if I profess to be, I'mgoing to use the word Christian,
because my daughter's aChristian yes, she is, and so I
(45:54):
profess to be a Christian, but Iwalk around and I go next door
and smack my neighbor upside thehead every day.
At that point, in my opinion,I'm representing the God in me.
Candace Patrice (46:15):
Okay, the God in you the.
God within.
Janet Hale (46:18):
Yeah, the God within , and that's why I keep saying
for you and I'm going to saythis I know you're going to stay
a Christian to the end that um.
Candace Patrice (46:28):
I don't know if I would say Christian more so
than a believer.
Janet Hale (46:32):
Okay, it doesn't matter, I'm good, I'm happy.
Candace Patrice (46:35):
God enrolls, I guess.
Janet Hale (46:37):
I mean.
Candace Patrice (46:37):
I have a lot of the same beliefs, but you yeah,
but you, but you.
Janet Hale (46:52):
What I'm saying, all that to say, is that you've
carried yourself in a way thatis full of light.
That's who you are.
You were that when you werereal little Period Like that was
it.
There she goes.
Okay, we learned.
You know how to do the tootsieroll oh, that's the same.
Candace Patrice (47:08):
It was at the same fair.
Janet Hale (47:09):
I said what outfit oh, she look, she remember all
that right.
Um, it was cute.
And then you mentionedsomething about, oh, people
being angry and gratefulness.
I think the thing about angeris, when you look at someone
(47:31):
who's angry, I think a lot oftimes we need to find out what
are you hurt about?
Yeah, absolutely, because weget so they angry and I'll be
like what are you hurt about?
Because something's hurting andyou're releasing it in a manner
that's probably pissingeverybody off, but something's
going on.
(47:51):
So that was a thing.
And then the other thing yousaid about the mess.
You know to be in a mess.
Sometimes we have to go throughthe mess in order to get to the
rest.
Candace Patrice (48:01):
Yeah, ooh, mess , to get to the rest.
Janet Hale (48:04):
I like it too.
I was like Jenna you go withyour story, you know and I want
to piggyback off of that realquick.
Candace Patrice (48:13):
But no, the why things.
People go through things and ifyou don't know their why and
you judge, this is why we can'tjudge people.
What I'm about to say is you'regoing to get it and I think I
told you about this, but there'sa woman in jail right now been
there about 15 years who killedher children.
Yeah, I'm sure people heardthat and went well, yeah, she
(48:35):
should be in jail.
However, this woman was undermedication that put her in a
psychosis that she didn't evenknow.
She was responding in the waythat she was and I don't know
what was happening to her brainto make her brain think that
Maybe it attacked her, to thinkthat maybe these were people
attacking her.
I don't know and she doesn'tknow because she wasn't present
(48:57):
Exactly, but she still has topay for what happened.
However, for her, luckily, shehas found a way to make peace
with that and teach the otherwomen where she is the power of
gratitude, greatness and movingforward and how things happen in
our life.
(49:18):
But it you know just all of thethings, so that
nonjudgmentalness is soimportant because you never know
their story, their background,their history, it is.
Why are you responding the wayyou're responding?
Start, and it's the same forpartners, it's the same for
children, it's the same forparents.
(49:39):
Everything goes back to the whyit's there.
I remember hearing about theguy who stuttered and I think I
talked about this a couple ofseasons ago and when they got
down to the root of it, he waswatching Rocky and Bullwinkle
when his parents were having anintense argument that really
traumatized him and he got stuckat four and he wasn't able to
(50:02):
come out of stuttering until hewas an adult and identified that
it came from that show and thatexperience and he was able to
release it and he's a publicspeaker today.
Good for him that stuttering manis a public speaker today who
no longer cares Because he wasable to identify his trauma.
Janet Hale (50:19):
He was able to identify it because he was able
to identify his trauma.
Candace Patrice (50:20):
He was able to identify it same with speaking
to someone else who said theywere four and had some trauma
and didn't realize what it wasuntil they were an adult and
things made sense to them.
So all of these things and weare going to wrap up yes, I know
, oh man, we started off verylight and fluffy and got pretty
(50:43):
heavy in the end, just with allof the things that could be
happening in people's lives.
And, of course, if you needsomeone to talk to, you can text
or call 988, which is theSuicide Prevention Lifeline,
which is 24 hours seven days aweek, which is 24 hours, seven
days a week.
And also you can check yourresources in your state and your
(51:06):
city for therapists, counselors, coaches.
There are people who can helpguide, find your safe places,
your safe people, and just workthrough and try to find that joy
in whatever way that you can.
You can always follow me atessentialmotivationcom, email
(51:26):
Candice Fleming atessentialmotivationcom and
Instagram.
I'm actually switching myInstagram from the essential
page to my personal page becausethey kind of blend together, so
that's Candice Patrice,underscore E-M, and I am now
also going by Candice Patriceinstead of Candice Fleming,
(51:48):
because middle names don'tchange, last names do.
And that's what we're doingRebranding under Candice Patrice
.
So you guys will see that comingmore so in the future.
Janet Hale (52:01):
So season 4 is Candice Patricia, hello, hello
hello, and it's hell y'all, andit's hell in the house, in the
house, in the house.
Candace Patrice (52:10):
Alright, is there any last words that you
have for everybody?
Janet Hale (52:15):
I'm glad to be back and I'm glad that you are here
For us, for when we came backYay, alright, guys.
Candace Patrice (52:21):
Well, you already know the drill Love hard
, forgive often.
I'm glad that you are here forus, for when we came back, yay,
all right, guys.
Well, you already know thedrill Love hard, forgive often
and laugh frequent.
And we will see you back in twoweeks.
Two weeks, deuces.
Thanks for listening, guys, bye.
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing.
Guys, we are back for seasonfour, and y'all already know
who's with me and she shall notleave us this season.
Okay, season four JennJy Haleis back in the.
Janet Hale (00:28):
I'm back in the house.
ippee, mom is back.
I'm glad to be back.
Yes, I am.
It's been a minute it has.
Candace Patrice (00:38):
All things have been great.
We left season three in June,went on our summer break After
season one y'all we did a fullyear with no break and I lost my
mind.
And then we decided to take abreak in season two, um, between
the months of June and November, or between the months of June
(00:58):
and October, resume in November,just to have that mental space
with.
I have a nine-year-old daughterand summer, and then her
birthday is in September.
So getting reacclimated to that, without the stressors of
podcasting and editing, cause Ido all that y'all.
But here we are.
(01:19):
So, janet, mother, lovely,lovey, oh, come on now.
Come on now.
How how am I?
How was your summer?
How was your birthday?
We didn't have a birthdayepisode.
How was?
(01:40):
How are you today?
Like we know you had someMedical things last season.
So how did you today?
Like we know you had somemedical things last season.
So how did you come through?
Where you at, where you at inseason four?
Let's talk about where I'm at.
Janet Hale (01:52):
Let me talk about it .
Let me say first of all, I'mvery grateful and very thankful
for this day and all those daysthat we will speak upon.
I'm glad to hear that you tooktime out for self-care, because
I see you, they don't seeeverything.
I see you do a lot and it mademe feel very proud.
(02:15):
When you were like I need totake a break, I thought, dang
good, I'm glad you realized it,because we all need to take a
break and this program is aboutmental healing, it's about
self-care, it's about how do welove ourselves, how do we do
what we need to do in order tocare for ourselves, because we
(02:36):
talk about some heavy things onthis program and you know, we
laugh and we talk and we dothese things, but we actually
live through a lot of thingsthat we talk about, yeah, and so
, as we talk about it, I thinkit's also good to display how we
take care of each ourselves.
(02:57):
Mm-hmm, in moments of, I'm doingA, b and C, because you guys,
you're not out here alone,mm-hmm, we are all out here
trying to make it.
Yeah, you know, and during thebreak, I had a medical situation
happen and I had to livethrough that and still dealing
with that a little bit, but it'snot all.
(03:18):
Anyway, some of it was mentaltoo and I had to work through
some emotional baggage, somerealizations of some fears.
I had to have my daughter lookme in the face and say, mom, oh
(03:39):
no, I need you to do better.
I'm telling on you yes, she did, yes, she did To the hippie
mama.
She came in my house and shelooked at me.
She said I don't know.
I mean I be, you know exact.
So I'm paraphrase Mom, I needyou to get it together because I
(04:01):
don't like what I see.
I need you to get yourselftogether because right now you
are in a block.
I don't know what this is about.
You said I'm going to tell it,I'm telling everybody.
She said Mama, get it together.
I need you to get it together,she said, because I want you
around here.
So it was a very powerfulconversation.
(04:24):
Now, mind you, I'm the mother,everyone just in case.
And so when she left, I was Ihave a favorite chair, I was
sitting in my favorite chair,kind of messed up.
And the thing is because, asadults and I talk about this
(04:45):
often being a mother with anadult child, not only a mother
to an adult child, but a motherto an adult woman who's also a
mother, who's able to reflectand look at her mother as a
woman, not just a mom.
I know mom has nothing to dowith it, I know her mother as a
woman, not just her mom.
I know mom has nothing to dowith it.
I know you know, mom, youcoming on here you don't have it
(05:09):
together.
I'm noticing it.
I'm watching you right now.
It's been in my spirit to tellyou this.
Candace Patrice (05:22):
That's why I don't remember, because when the
Holy Spirit speak, it don't beme, okay, it's the Spirit coming
through me, out me, to you, youknow.
Janet Hale (05:31):
See, this is what I love about this program, because
we are different in many waysand very much alike at the same
time.
And it's beautiful.
I love it.
So she just came in and justread me the you know the rites
and all kind of things.
So she just came in and justread me the you know the rights
and all kind of things.
So I said, oh, you know, I mean.
And then, wait, you guys, shedidn't pause and check my
(05:51):
thoughts.
You see, if I was okay.
She said her piece and was gone.
I said, oh wait, I'm left.
Oh, whoa, hold up.
But see, here's the thing aboutthat, though, because when we
start doing work on ourselvesthis is my belief, it may not be
(06:12):
everyone's is when we'reconfronted and someone loves us
enough to confront us, becauseit takes love to do that Say hey
, I see you.
I don't like what I see, Idon't know what's going on, but
I need you to find you right now.
Right now, you seem a littlelost she said like that.
(06:34):
But you know I'm trying to makeher sound nice well.
Candace Patrice (06:39):
I thought that I was super nice when we came
out you know how we receivethings is a real thing, you know
Okay it's cool.
Janet Hale (06:49):
I was a receiver and I received it, so it's about
the person who was receiving it.
Candace Patrice (06:56):
Okay, that's facts, that's facts.
And then the person needs tohear the receiver and understand
what they were receiving.
Janet Hale (07:05):
So here, I'm about to go there and that is like I
said.
She didn't take my pause.
So that part is true.
She didn't she left off thelove, but the thing is she loved
me enough to do that, becausenot everyone is able to do that,
to say, hey, I love you, I needto say something to you.
(07:26):
She ran out real quick, so Idon't know if she did that, so I
didn't say anything back.
Candace Patrice (07:29):
I'm not real clear.
Janet Hale (07:30):
But I said in that four minutes you know I was like
, you know I am stuck.
Okay, oh, wait, you guys, letme tell you what else she said.
She's like mama.
You guys, let me tell you whatelse she said.
She's like Mama, you keepcalling me to help you do stuff.
(07:52):
You have your master's degree,you know how to do things, blah,
blah, blah.
Okay, you guys, let me telly'all this part.
I don't know if I told her thispart, but I think I did.
So.
I had disconnected that CashApp.
I hadn't used it in years.
Okay, well, it was a cash appmoment.
I had to figure out how to putthe cash back.
(08:15):
So, wait, I'm sitting there,I'm holding the phone.
I said I'm not calling her.
She said I need to figurethings out and, dear audience to
all the millions of people thatare listening, hippie mama got
it together.
She got the cash and the bone.
So you know, this break hasbeen very interesting for me as
(08:43):
far as career change, as far asmy mindset, as far as certain
things coming up that I didn'teven realize.
Candace and I were talking theother day about something.
I said, candace, I neverconnected this particular
situation with that.
She said, oh, I get it, I getit.
(09:05):
She didn't either.
I was like, yeah, Wow Okay.
So you know, it's just, it'sbeen a time of reflection, it's
been a time of and everybodyknow I'm not religious so we
won't say that Can't stop mefrom saying that but I'm not
Okay, is it all right Okay?
Candace Patrice (09:25):
Wait, is it okay?
I mean, can you not bereligious and be spiritual?
Is that a thing?
Janet Hale (09:30):
I get a kick out of saying I'm not religious.
I get a kick out of it.
But I say all that to say this,because you know, times are
changing and I'm changing andlife is changing.
And I remember sometimes Iwould get a little worried and
I'd say, well, hold on, I'vebeen around for a minute, 61
(09:56):
years minutes, and I said, youknow, I've been protected and
taken care of all these years,why now would I not be?
So the process is abouttrusting the process.
And here's the thing and I knowKen is going to jump on this
word because she'll be jumpingon this word it's about having
(10:19):
faith.
Candace Patrice (10:21):
Ooh, it's a process.
Janet Hale (10:23):
You're right.
You're right, I like that.
You're going to jump on that.
I want it.
It's about the faith and theprocess, because I can remember
worrying some days and thengetting to bed and say, why did
I waste my day on that?
And I'm going to tell you whatI mean by that.
See, I ate that day.
I still have my car that day.
Food was in the refrigeratorthat day.
(10:44):
Oh wait, let's start with this.
I woke up that day so I said Iwasted a whole day.
To me, that was a sweat.
Yeah, I worry.
What was I worried about?
Watching the TV shows, I wonder?
Candace Patrice (11:00):
I mean, everything works itself out yeah
, and that is literally howeverything is when we start to
well, okay, can I jump in?
Okay, before I jump in, yourbirthday.
Did you want to touch on that?
Did you remember the birthdaythis year, or was it like it was
a good birthday and we can keepmoving?
Janet Hale (11:24):
Okay, it was a good birthday, great, it was a good
birthday, but oh, but anytime,any birth, oh man.
Okay, you made me think ofsomething.
Candace Patrice (11:32):
Oh wait, uh-uh, she's going to go tangifying it
, I can see I want to tell themabout my summer too.
Yeah, we got to share, I knowright.
Two talkers needing to sharetime and space.
We find a way to do it.
So I'm going, I'm jumping in.
Okay, jump in.
So from your birthday to today,we had a very successful summer,
(12:00):
a very eventful summer, andKamari and I actually managed to
go on a cruise we managed to goto.
We were in Florida, we did thebeach, we did the cruise, we did
Las Vegas, we did California, Idid the Grand Canyon, and we
(12:24):
had road trips together, likefrom those places, from one
place to the next place, andthen we just kind of lived.
We found a way to not have atight itinerary and it was just
okay.
What are we going to do?
What does today bring?
We left a way to not have atight itinerary and it was just
okay.
What are we going to do?
What does today bring?
We left Nevada going toCalifornia and, because of the
time we left, we just literallywent straight to the beach.
(12:45):
There was no stopping going toanyone's home.
We changed in the car, wentstraight to the beach.
Then we left the beach and wentto meet up with a friend at a
restaurant.
Then we hit our location wherewe were sleeping and just had a
great night, like everythingjust seemed to flow.
And when I say everything flows, I meant from sun up to sun,
(13:10):
down to moon, up to moon down.
I know right, we forget thatthere is something beyond the
sun up and sun down and weappreciate it and enjoy.
I mean, we looked At the skyand saw how pretty the moon
itself Was, how pretty the starswere.
(13:30):
The sky in California is alittle different Than the sky
here.
Even I know it's clearer, likeI don't know what it is, but
something there is a littledifferent.
Very nice.
Um.
Then her birthday was amazing.
She wanted a hotel party andshe got that.
(13:51):
Um, and she said it was thebest birthday that she ever had.
It was the most last minuteplanned one for me, but it was
being planned and executed intime to happen when it was time.
So that was beautiful.
And I personally have been doinga lot of internal reflecting
(14:15):
and also trying to recognize andunderstand the difference
between emotions and feelingsand what really is what I have
control of and what I don't, andworking with the things that I
have control of to create joy inmy life, no matter what is
happening in any aspect, whetherI fall and bump my head and I
(14:37):
just know huh well, that hurt.
Today.
I mean, get back up.
Funny example I got out the carI was on my way to church, got
out the car looking down inbetween two really big old
trucks and then I get All theway to church.
All the way to church, this isit.
So we get in the parking spacein between these two big old
trucks, which Kamari looked atand was like, look, these are my
(14:58):
two dads, they're big trucks,like okay, cool.
So we're like I look, get out,look down, because the step
stool is so high that it's just,I don't know, I'm just looking
down.
By the time I look up, I hitthe windshield of the driver's
side on my forehead and wentdown to the ground, y'all.
(15:19):
I looked down and I looked backup at the sick guy and I said,
huh God, I wonder what themessage is in that, because that
hurt.
So for me I took the message aslook up, let's look up.
And so whenever I'm on a walk orI'm doing things now, I remind
(15:40):
myself to look up.
Now, looking up has allowed meto experience certain things
Things in the trees that wedon't pay attention to, the sky,
just everything that happens inour life when we look up
opposed to looking down.
So that is one really greattakeaway.
(16:02):
The other thing got my coachingprogram going.
So I'm now doing one-on-onelife coaching as well as
one-on-one self-developmentcoaching, as well as group
self-development coaching, whichis so amazing.
It's another step to what Iwant to do.
I've always known I want towork with women girls.
(16:25):
It's funny enough.
My first one-on-one client's aguy, the coaching is a guy, but
the mindset development havebeen women so far.
But that's, I mean, who knew?
Who knew?
I didn't know, but seeingsomething I wanted to do as a
kid starting to, or at least ateenager starting to come to
(16:48):
fruition in a way that makessense, Like I feel like this is
the time when I have enoughexperience to begin feeding into
people, I found that thissummer I can't be quiet.
I have taken a very extensiveroute into my spiritual realm
(17:10):
and what that looks like andapplying that to my life and
sharing that with others, inwhatever capacity that is for
them, or God, Buddha, universe,you know, the higher power, the
being, the energy that's toogreat to put a name to, as my
mother would say, and justreally really honing in on that.
(17:32):
And also relationship building,authentic relationship building
.
It's not about are you going tobe a client later.
It's this is our momenttogether and whatever I can
provide to you in this moment,even if it's just a conversation
, if it's a positive way ofthinking for the moment, if it's
(17:53):
comfort, if it's a safe place,if there is something positive I
can bring to your life in thatmoment, I want to be able to do
so and not, I don't know, justfocusing on for me what God
intended for us to do.
And when I read the Bible and Ilook at when man was created
(18:13):
and what we have dominion over,it wasn't about finances and
being on top.
It was about caring for eachother and, to my understanding,
one of the greatest commands ofall is love thy neighbor as
thyself, which makes sense,because love is the greatest of
all things.
(18:33):
So if we can love ourselves andthen love someone else the same
way, then we're doing it.
Whatever.
It is what I believe it to bein the world, Like we're here to
do this and there's just somuch.
I'm finding my purpose in thisworld, or what I believe, or I
(18:55):
think maybe I knew my purpose,but I'm finding how to utilize
my purpose in this lifetime.
So that's been kind of myjourney from then to now, and
continuing that is so good, it'sjust so good.
Things were in a very difficultspace at one point.
(19:18):
Things were in a very difficultspace at one point, Like even
you all have.
If you've been here sinceseason one, you already know
like I started off here in amarriage and I'm no longer in a
marriage.
So you guys have been able tohear kind of how I'm progressing
(19:41):
and finding highs in life and Ifind that there are so many
more highs in life than thereare lows and it makes the lows
so small Because it's like youknow they're going to be over.
It's just what's the solutionmoving forward.
(20:03):
I see you writing.
Janet Hale (20:04):
Go ahead and talk it okay, I think so it's you
mentioned earlier, andcongratulations on all your
accomplishments thank you, thankyou for being a part of it and
helping me through it.
You're welcome you're, but Ilike to hear that you are moving
forward and getting the thingsdone that you wish to get done,
(20:24):
because many people is theresomething about a dream deferred
.
I can't remember the rest of it, but when we just dream and not
do anything about it and justdream, dream, dream.
Candace Patrice (20:39):
A dream deferred is like a raisin in the
sun or something like that.
Janet Hale (20:43):
Mm-mm, it's something I can't remember.
For whatever, it's real goodtoo, but you are living the
dream A dream deferred is adream denied, that's it.
That's it.
That's it, thank you, and so tohear you talk about that.
(21:19):
But what I found interesting inlistening to you talk and
wanting to working with women,that he must not be forgotten,
because he is also a part of theequation.
In my opinion, my humbleopinion, we can get so focused
(21:42):
on the feminine or the femaleand all those things, when
oftentimes men need to benurtured and taught how to deal
with us, how to, and so I foundit interesting that he was your
(22:05):
first client and that just ranga bell for me with that and I
don't know, oh, utilizing you,utilizing the different things
for you, and I thought about youknow, and I want to bring these
things.
You're bringing things andbringing light and bringing
(22:26):
knowledge to what you're doingand how oftentimes, when we are
in a place like that, it isactually the reverse.
It is the things that arebrought to us to enlighten us,
to teach us and to help us grow.
And I and you know the kind ofwork I've done and I've had to
(22:49):
say that to some folks who, well, I just want to help people.
I get that I do I want to do allthat too, but at the end of the
day, when I sit down and thinkabout a lot of things that I've
done in my lifetime, I have toreflect on me, you know, and
what did I learn from that?
Even in the process ofassisting others and learning
(23:11):
what they need to learn, whathave I learned about that?
And so that was one of thethings I thought about that, and
so that was one of the things Ithought about, and I'm glad you
brought up being married, beingdivorced, going through things,
changing and allowing others tobe witness to that.
I watched you today.
(23:32):
I couldn't have been more proudwhat happened, and I say that
because of the co-parenting.
I couldn't have been more proudwhat happened, and I say that,
can I, can I?
Okay?
I say that because of theco-parenting, co-parenting.
I say that because I watchedtwo mothers, um, that care for
(23:56):
my granddaughter, one being herbiological mother, one being her
dad's partner, and she had twoof her kids, and then your
friend was there and howeveryone was so gentle to one
another.
There was no mean or giving youthe evil eye.
(24:20):
It was all in love, like hey,we are here together, let's do
this thing, and I was just soproud and I was watching you,
kamari, and your friend, walkingto the car and I said, look at
that.
And I thought of my mom, mm-hmm.
And I said, oh, look at that.
And I thought of my mom and Isaid, oh, mama, look at this.
(24:43):
What would I get to see?
I am so grateful.
Watch this, like okay, this iswhat this is.
Just to watch that growth and towatch Kamari grow and to watch
her develop relationships, evenat the school, which was funny
(25:08):
because you know I can't not getthere early.
If I go to school, you betterbe early because they be early.
And so when I came in and Isaid, well, I'm not sure where
to sit, and the woman saidwhat's her name, and I said come
on.
she said okay, sit right therebecause she's gonna be right
(25:31):
there, oh wow, oh, thank youokay, you're good and um, but
those are the kind of momentsthat are so wonderful to me even
though it may sound small, butfor me it was big.
It was just so big, you know,because she knew who I was
talking about, right, and sheknew what she could do to
(25:55):
accommodate so that Kamari couldsee Sugamama.
Because I was right there, Iwas on court side, you guys,
court side, I was there watchingher do her thing and watching
the coach and just being a partof that experience, I'm just
grateful that you guys includeme in things like that that I
(26:19):
get to see, I don't have to hear.
Candace Patrice (26:23):
Well, Kamari loves to have you.
I'm glad she loves me and Ithink she really understands
what a grandmother is or who agrandmother is.
So her relationship with you isimportant, yes, and she enjoys
(26:44):
the relationship you have, notbecause it's your relationship,
it's not, it's not fake, it'snot catered to the way that I
would do things.
You know, and not to say thatyou don't respect the way that I
do things but you have your youhave your super mama role you
know, they're just yeah.
And I'm like I like ice creamfor breakfast, yeah, and I'm
(27:07):
really grateful that I can.
I can see and not try tocontrol that, which is difficult
because when you become amother and you have all of these
things that you want done andhow you want them done, and
especially if you're a controlfreak who just wants things a
certain way but relinquishingthat to be like it's not all the
(27:29):
time, like let them have theirtime.
It might be an ice cream day,okay, and popsicles that might
be the only thing she eats.
And no, that's usually not thecase when I say that it's not
really the point is.
it's just letting go of that andletting you all have your
whatever it is, and then, when Iget her back, we'll jump back
(27:51):
into our own routines.
Janet Hale (27:52):
Yeah, get her into the withdrawal.
Candace Patrice (27:54):
She comes there and stays up to four and five
in the morning, but so did I asa kid.
Janet Hale (28:01):
You did, you did.
Candace Patrice (28:03):
You didn't make me go.
If it was a weekend or not, youand Q would be on that phone
laughing.
I'm talking about as an 8, 9,10, 11, 12, 13.
When there was no schoolparents went to sleep.
Janet Hale (28:16):
Don't tell all our business.
Candace Patrice (28:17):
No, I mean, I think that's just a generational
thing.
Parents went to sleep.
They were like kids go be aliveand be here tomorrow when we
wake up, Please.
Thank you, and we all knew tojust be alive in the morning
that was the only really realrequirement, Like don't burn the
house down and stay alive.
Janet Hale (28:39):
So you meant to yourself being a control freak,
right?
So for me, words have a lot ofpower in my opinion that's what
you want to say, that and um,I've watched you become less of
that.
I'm watching that change, so II would be.
You know, it'd be nice to foryour verbiage to change on that.
Candace Patrice (28:59):
Oh yeah, I'm not.
I'm sorry.
When I said that, I meant whenI had her.
Things have changed.
I've evolved, I'm understandinghow to let go.
That's, and I think that's whatI was saying earlier.
As far as what I can control,and really taking advantage of
what I can and really let go ofwhat I cannot, because we can
(29:19):
voice our opinions on things andwe can also remove ourselves
from situations that don't serveus.
That's a whole other podcast.
Janet Hale (29:31):
Okay, because I was going to say the control freak
thing that you're talking about.
I enjoy you so much, even ifyou were not my daughter.
I enjoy you because you have anopen mind and you listen, and
(29:52):
even if we don't agree becausewe don't always agree y'all,
just in case you didn't know butwe'll listen to one another and
say I'll see how you can see itthat way oh, we had a good
moment last week with that ohman, that whoa it's going into
family history yes
Candace Patrice (30:12):
and you know, guys let me say this to anyone
listening if you want to have aconversation with someone, throw
your own belief system to theside for a second to just hear
the other person's belief system.
Not that you have to agree withit in any way, shape or form,
(30:32):
but look at it, see how theyarrived where they arrived,
because we all haven't had thesame experiences to arrive there
.
And conversations that I havewith my mom, conversations I
have with my sister, a lot oftimes their perspective does
come from an experience that hashappened to them in the past or
(30:52):
something they've witnessedhappen to someone else, and a
lot of times the response isabout not repeating that cycle.
That's what that response is,and if you haven't lived what
their experience is, then youhave to listen and be empathetic
(31:14):
to that and maybe if you are ina position to offer a different
perspective.
However, they are not requiredto take that and do something
with that perspective.
It's okay to offer it, butrespect if they don't want to
use that perspective.
Janet Hale (31:30):
And I want to.
I want to expound on that andsay this that it is okay and see
, cause there's a generationaldifference.
I'm mom, you're my daughter,all that stuff.
It is okay for us as the olderperson, the parent or however
(31:53):
you want to put it, to bequestioned.
It is okay for us to expand ourminds.
It is okay sometimes to say youknow what?
That's a new way of looking atthat.
Let me take a look at that.
It is okay to be open becausethe bottom line is about
openness and for me, I want mydaughter and my son although I
(32:18):
was talking about him, I said Italk like Brandon's still here.
I'm just talking because for mehe is, and so it's just
important to share informationand to be authentically who I am
to my children and to mygrandchildren and to anyone who
meets me.
This is Janet.
(32:38):
Janet is a hippie.
Now, let me share that, becausesometimes when I say hippie,
people think I'm on psychedelicsand stuff.
I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't.
Hippie is a way of thinking forme, so I just wanted to clear
that up.
Hippie means to have an openmind.
Hippie means to be able towatch other people, listen to
(33:04):
other people and get anunderstanding of what it is that
they're trying to convey Right.
So it may not be what I like orit may not be what I do, but let
me hear about you.
Like you know, jehovah Witnesspeople.
She came by.
Did I tell you that, candice,she always comes by.
Yeah, but she had stopped for awhile because she got a little
sick or something.
Oh, yeah, you told me she camewith someone else.
Yeah, she came by right,because you know.
Hey, come on by, let's you know,hey, and she brought somebody
(33:25):
and I was like I have a joke, Ithink they have a hat and they
have numbers and I say, whowants to meet the hippie?
They pull the number becauseshe brings somebody different.
We have a great time and so umand then.
So when I talk about being ahippie, those are the types of
things that I'm talking aboutthat I'm able to sit across the
(33:46):
table from somebody who does notshare the same beliefs that I
do, or that I don't have all thefacts about their belief so
that I can better understandthem.
Candace Patrice (33:58):
But it sounds like at the very basis, you have
something in common and that isjust the pure understanding of
human to human.
You're a human, I'm a human.
Just share this love momenttogether.
You know that's right, don'tyou?
I wanted to also.
Janet Hale (34:16):
You said Okay, go, I'm scared you're going to write
it down.
I did, that's where I was going.
Candace Patrice (34:21):
There's a Write it down.
I did.
That's where I was going.
Janet Hale (34:22):
So there's a situation that happened.
I must share this man Okay, Idon't even think I told you I
don't know.
And so the phone call comes in.
There's this thing going onabout some luggage or something.
And I get the call and I'mworking some things out, and I'm
talking to this person and he'slike apologizing.
(34:44):
And I'm like what do youapologize?
He said because I'm a littleanxious and you know.
And I said, okay, but you knowwe're going to work this out.
And so you know we did all ourthings right.
I said call me and let me knowhow things work out for you.
The next day I get a call.
The next day I get a call.
He says I want to thank you fortaking the time with me and
(35:07):
calming me down.
I didn't realize that I didn't,I was just doing me.
He was probably tripping onthat, but that's okay.
And we end up on the phone forover an hour Just talking, just
sharing.
I mean, mean, he got into somepolitical things.
(35:27):
You know, I don't do political.
I'd be like, okay, but I listen.
I was like, wow, that'sinteresting.
I need to look that up.
I didn't know that.
Oh, thank you.
So, um, but from human to human, because we are each other's
business Period.
We are the smile on the face,the pat on the back, whatever.
Candace Patrice (35:54):
Whatever?
Janet Hale (35:55):
it is we can do to make someone else's life better
or bearable.
That's all we can do.
Let it be what it be.
So you're right With theJehovah, with all of them.
Hey, listen, I'm here.
Look I had a coffee, look I gotcup.
I don't want everybody comingover, but I have, uh, uh, what
do you call it?
The cream?
Um, flavor cream.
And oh, we can sit down, justhave a great time.
(36:18):
I open the windows.
We set the dining table.
We have a great time.
I open the windows, we sit atthe dining room table.
We have a great time becauselife is about living.
Candace Patrice (36:25):
It is.
Janet Hale (36:25):
It's about living.
I want to live this life, youguys.
Candace Patrice (36:29):
Look at this sun ray in my video.
It's beautiful Actually, I seecolors, it's a lot happening it
is.
Janet Hale (36:37):
It's beautiful, but go ahead.
You were going to say something.
I had to say what I had to say.
Candace Patrice (36:42):
I heard you earlier mention the word
gratitude and I just I wanted totalk about gratitude very
quickly, Just how we can begrateful.
Janet Hale (36:54):
That's her giving me a warning.
Candace Patrice (36:56):
No, myself as well, okay, myself as well, okay
, just how we can carrygratitude throughout our days.
And that goes back into thepositive mindset.
And I remember having therapyand the therapist telling me to
download this app and track mygratitude.
And I remember not doing it andI said I don't want to, I don't
(37:18):
feel gratitude, I don't like it, I don't want like this isn't
anything.
Feel gratitude, I don't like it, I don't like.
This isn't anything.
I feel like doing this is achore, it's a task and it's not
fun.
At the time I just couldn't.
But that's the space that I was, I was in and I'm sure there
are others in that same.
You know we say it like oh, justpractice gratitude.
That's not always easy, it'sjust not.
(37:43):
It's something once you beginto do it and it becomes easy.
It's so easy to tell someoneelse to just practice it because
it's like I'm doing it, can'tyou do it.
But there are times and spacesand places where gratitude
doesn't even seem like a realword, something you can even,
because people can be so angryor in such a depressive state
that that's all they can see isblack.
(38:04):
And if you can, the gratitudecomes in the small things and
it's saying it to yourself,whether it's waking up.
And I know for some people,waking up isn't always their
gratitude, because they're goingback into mess and it's, you
know, like what can.
(38:25):
How do you find joy in mess?
How do you move forward wheneverything feels so big or so
wrong or so bad and the peoplearound you are making you feel
little and insignificant andyou're wanting to please someone
(38:46):
else just so that they can feel, make you feel important?
And you know there's there's somany things that aren't good
for everybody and it.
You know I want to spend thisseason helping the lost see the
light again, like that's whatwe've been doing.
(39:07):
That's what I want to continueto do this season.
We have a lot of great guestswho are going to be here and
have stories that are just.
They've been through it, theycome out of it and they're
continuing to work on themselvesand help others.
So I hope that everyone who'slistening has an opportunity to
(39:32):
take something from it.
Look at the topics and see ifthere's something that resonates
with you.
We won't stay on the problem orthe heartbreak or the
downwardness of our lives.
We'll discuss it forrelatability, but we're going to
give you guys, tips on workingthrough those and letting you
(39:52):
know you're not alone in this,like we've been through a lot of
it.
There are others who've beenthrough it and maybe you just
need to hear someone else did it.
Janet Hale (40:03):
Yes.
Candace Patrice (40:04):
They made it through in the darkest depths of
things.
So this season we're definitelygoing to continue to give you
guys that I do so practicing thegratitude.
If you can find one thing to begrateful for a day, or just
anything just today, if you canfind anything to be grateful for
(40:24):
, take that with you for therest of as long as you can,
until you can find somethingelse to be grateful for, to show
gratitude towards.
I wanted to ask a quickquestion before we leave,
because we're about to wrap up.
I was given the question.
I was given a question, achallenge of what will, what
(40:46):
would you have told your 20 yearold self?
If you could go back and talkto your 20 year old self, what
advice would it be?
I have an answer and I wouldlike to hear yours first and
then I'll give you mine.
Janet Hale (41:01):
So I have an answer and I would like to hear yours
first and then I'll give youmine.
My answer to the 20-year-oldJanet would be you are okay just
the way you are.
It is okay for people to seeyou.
There's no need to hide.
They will love you anyway.
I would tell that 20 year oldbecause I remember the people
(41:24):
pleasing all kinds of stuff andI realized once I let all that
go I'm still working on it, butmost of it go that man, people
think I'm pretty cool.
Candace Patrice (41:39):
They're like she's kind of cool she's a
little out there.
Janet Hale (41:41):
She's kind of cool.
She's a little out there, butshe's kind of cool.
So I would talk to my20-year-old.
What would you say?
Candace Patrice (41:49):
I would tell myself, my 20-year-old self, to
trust myself in the decisionsthat I make and also that
happiness comes from within.
And I would try, probablyreading the Bible a little more,
to get those tangibleinstructions earlier on.
(42:09):
I'm glad that.
But, however, with that, Idon't know if I would have
interpreted it the same as I donow, but I don't know.
But I think I would tell myselfthat, like hey, just see what
it's about.
I think I would tell myselfthat, like hey, just see what
it's about.
Okay.
Janet Hale (42:23):
Okay, I want to interject as a mom.
Right, quick.
Yep, when you talk about thatand you said reading the Bible
or something like that, um, youwere living the values of this
Bible before you picked it up.
Candace Patrice (42:49):
I know it's more of a confirmation.
Okay.
Janet Hale (42:53):
So I needed to say that to you.
Candace Patrice (42:55):
No, so what I, what I like and why I say read
the Bible more is I like havingthe resources at my hands now.
So when I speak to people and Isay talk about the story of Job,
or if I talk about the book ofEcclesiastes and how we find
living our lives, or it'shearing how Jesus responded to
(43:19):
questions with questions andgiving examples of things like
for us to think about.
There was a lot of things whenhe didn't give a lot of answers,
but when the questions allowyou to apply it to your own life
because it's a meaning, it's amoral to it.
Opposed to, this is the answer,because that answer doesn't
(43:40):
always apply to every situation.
When you give it direct likethat, but sometimes you can give
the meaning behind the answer,the deeper parts of it, like ask
yourself this question am I agood person?
Opposed to?
Should I help people get shoes?
I don't know.
Just be good.
At the end of the day there wasa, an episode of oh the good no,
(44:02):
it wasn't the good dinosaur.
We were watching something andit was the guy's first day at
work and the mother told himwhen he left to go to work just
be as helpful as you can.
It was Bluey.
We were watching Bluey and so.
(44:23):
But he went in and the dadcouldn't figure out what the
sign language was and he askedthe new worker and he's like can
you help me identify this?
And the guy's like it played inhis head just be as helpful as
you can.
It had nothing really to dowith like a sale or anything,
but he's like an opportunity andhe figures it out and it's just
(44:45):
like sometimes we just have tobe helpful the best way that we
can.
It doesn't have to be what yourjob description is, it's just
are you being a good person?
Are you choosing to just begood?
And so seeing that was reallygood, okay, okay.
Janet Hale (45:03):
Go so you confirm what I just said about you.
But I wanted to say this Okay.
And this applies to any, all ofthem, all the religions, I don't
care, okay, but I do believethis for those who are religious
, that, but I do believe thisfor those who are, you know,
religious that each person thatwalks this earth is a reflection
(45:31):
of the God that they want torepresent.
So let me break it down just alittle bit, because you look a
little like where are you goingwith this?
Break it down just a little bitbecause you look a little like
where are you going with this?
So, if I profess to be, I'mgoing to use the word Christian,
because my daughter's aChristian yes, she is, and so I
(45:54):
profess to be a Christian, but Iwalk around and I go next door
and smack my neighbor upside thehead every day.
At that point, in my opinion,I'm representing the God in me.
Candace Patrice (46:15):
Okay, the God in you the.
God within.
Janet Hale (46:18):
Yeah, the God within , and that's why I keep saying
for you and I'm going to saythis I know you're going to stay
a Christian to the end that um.
Candace Patrice (46:28):
I don't know if I would say Christian more so
than a believer.
Janet Hale (46:32):
Okay, it doesn't matter, I'm good, I'm happy.
Candace Patrice (46:35):
God enrolls, I guess.
Janet Hale (46:37):
I mean.
Candace Patrice (46:37):
I have a lot of the same beliefs, but you yeah,
but you, but you.
Janet Hale (46:52):
What I'm saying, all that to say, is that you've
carried yourself in a way thatis full of light.
That's who you are.
You were that when you werereal little Period Like that was
it.
There she goes.
Okay, we learned.
You know how to do the tootsieroll oh, that's the same.
Candace Patrice (47:08):
It was at the same fair.
Janet Hale (47:09):
I said what outfit oh, she look, she remember all
that right.
Um, it was cute.
And then you mentionedsomething about, oh, people
being angry and gratefulness.
I think the thing about angeris, when you look at someone
(47:31):
who's angry, I think a lot oftimes we need to find out what
are you hurt about?
Yeah, absolutely, because weget so they angry and I'll be
like what are you hurt about?
Because something's hurting andyou're releasing it in a manner
that's probably pissingeverybody off, but something's
going on.
(47:51):
So that was a thing.
And then the other thing yousaid about the mess.
You know to be in a mess.
Sometimes we have to go throughthe mess in order to get to the
rest.
Candace Patrice (48:01):
Yeah, ooh, mess , to get to the rest.
Janet Hale (48:04):
I like it too.
I was like Jenna you go withyour story, you know and I want
to piggyback off of that realquick.
Candace Patrice (48:13):
But no, the why things.
People go through things and ifyou don't know their why and
you judge, this is why we can'tjudge people.
What I'm about to say is you'regoing to get it and I think I
told you about this, but there'sa woman in jail right now been
there about 15 years who killedher children.
Yeah, I'm sure people heardthat and went well, yeah, she
(48:35):
should be in jail.
However, this woman was undermedication that put her in a
psychosis that she didn't evenknow.
She was responding in the waythat she was and I don't know
what was happening to her brainto make her brain think that
Maybe it attacked her, to thinkthat maybe these were people
attacking her.
I don't know and she doesn'tknow because she wasn't present
(48:57):
Exactly, but she still has topay for what happened.
However, for her, luckily, shehas found a way to make peace
with that and teach the otherwomen where she is the power of
gratitude, greatness and movingforward and how things happen in
our life.
(49:18):
But it you know just all of thethings, so that
nonjudgmentalness is soimportant because you never know
their story, their background,their history, it is.
Why are you responding the wayyou're responding?
Start, and it's the same forpartners, it's the same for
children, it's the same forparents.
(49:39):
Everything goes back to the whyit's there.
I remember hearing about theguy who stuttered and I think I
talked about this a couple ofseasons ago and when they got
down to the root of it, he waswatching Rocky and Bullwinkle
when his parents were having anintense argument that really
traumatized him and he got stuckat four and he wasn't able to
(50:02):
come out of stuttering until hewas an adult and identified that
it came from that show and thatexperience and he was able to
release it and he's a publicspeaker today.
Good for him that stuttering manis a public speaker today who
no longer cares Because he wasable to identify his trauma.
Janet Hale (50:19):
He was able to identify it because he was able
to identify his trauma.
Candace Patrice (50:20):
He was able to identify it same with speaking
to someone else who said theywere four and had some trauma
and didn't realize what it wasuntil they were an adult and
things made sense to them.
So all of these things and weare going to wrap up yes, I know
, oh man, we started off verylight and fluffy and got pretty
(50:43):
heavy in the end, just with allof the things that could be
happening in people's lives.
And, of course, if you needsomeone to talk to, you can text
or call 988, which is theSuicide Prevention Lifeline,
which is 24 hours seven days aweek, which is 24 hours, seven
days a week.
And also you can check yourresources in your state and your
(51:06):
city for therapists, counselors, coaches.
There are people who can helpguide, find your safe places,
your safe people, and just workthrough and try to find that joy
in whatever way that you can.
You can always follow me atessentialmotivationcom, email
(51:26):
Candice Fleming atessentialmotivationcom and
Instagram.
I'm actually switching myInstagram from the essential
page to my personal page becausethey kind of blend together, so
that's Candice Patrice,underscore E-M, and I am now
also going by Candice Patriceinstead of Candice Fleming,
(51:48):
because middle names don'tchange, last names do.
And that's what we're doingRebranding under Candice Patrice
.
So you guys will see that comingmore so in the future.
Janet Hale (52:01):
So season 4 is Candice Patricia, hello, hello
hello, and it's hell y'all, andit's hell in the house, in the
house, in the house.
Candace Patrice (52:10):
Alright, is there any last words that you
have for everybody?
Janet Hale (52:15):
I'm glad to be back and I'm glad that you are here
For us, for when we came backYay, alright, guys.
Candace Patrice (52:21):
Well, you already know the drill Love hard
, forgive often.
I'm glad that you are here forus, for when we came back, yay,
all right, guys.
Well, you already know thedrill Love hard, forgive often
and laugh frequent.
And we will see you back in twoweeks.
Two weeks, deuces.
Thanks for listening, guys, bye.
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