What would our lives look like if we had learned financial literacy from an early age? Sean Lax, who joined us on Essential Mental Healing, answers this question through his remarkable journey from childhood homelessness to successful real estate agent.
Sean's story begins in suburban St. Louis where his family embodied the American dream – until they lost everything in 1992. At just 12 years old, Sean experienced the devastating shift from comfort to sleeping in the family car. This profound early experience instilled in him a deep fear of financial insecurity that would follow him for decades.
With raw honesty, Sean shares how joining the Air Force at 18 provided stability but not financial wisdom. Despite earning regular paychecks, he lived paycheck-to-paycheck until a Black captain mentored him about homeownership. This pivotal relationship led to his first home purchase at 22 during the 2008 housing crash – the beginning of his financial awakening.
What makes Sean's story particularly powerful is his vulnerability around mental health. He discusses the psychological impact of financial insecurity and advocates for breaking the stigma around therapy in the Black community, especially for men. His perspective on utilizing both traditional therapy and community resources like barbershops, churches, and family elders offers listeners practical avenues for healing.
Now a successful real estate agent with millions in sales, Sean approaches his work with unique empathy, treating clients like family because he understands the profound importance of home. His journey illustrates how financial education can transform lives, while his advice on humility, perseverance, and utilizing free financial resources provides actionable wisdom for listeners at any stage of their financial journey.
Whether you're facing hardship or building wealth, Sean's story reminds us that our past doesn't determine our future. Join us for this inspiring conversation that proves it's never too late to learn, grow, and create financial security.
Host Candace Fleming
Co-host Janet Hale
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visit Janet's website https://haleempowermentllc.com/
To be a guest on our show email me at candacefleming@essentialmotivation.com
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Music by Lukrembo: https://soundcloud.com/lukrembo
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Candace Patrice (00:05):
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing,where I am your host, candice
Patrice.
Joining me today, of course, asalways, because she shall never
leave us again is Janet Hale.
Janet Hale (00:23):
Hello, hello, hello, everybody, hello.
Candace Patrice (00:28):
My lovely mother.
Hello, mother.
Today we have a guest with us.
Our guest is Sean Sean Lax.
Hi Sean, how are you today?
Sean Lax (00:39):
Good, how are you all?
Candace Patrice (00:42):
Good.
I met Sean guys when I was inthe process of looking for a
home that I stopped looking forbut I still have an can see how
(01:02):
important it is to know yourcustomer and make them your
family.
You know it's like you'rebuilding something that is
important and your needs beingmet is very important.
So thank you, sean, for that.
Sean Lax (01:31):
But we are going to get a little bit into his story,
but, shot, tell us a little bitabout you, your start and how
you ended up where you are rightnow.
That's a good question.
Can you all hear me clearly?
Right, everybody can hear me.
Perfect, perfect.
So hello everyone.
How's it going out there?
I am Sean Lacks.
I am with Wentworth Real EstateGroup here in Michigan.
So if you are looking,shameless plug whatever but
(01:52):
myself.
I was born and raised in StLouis, missouri, Moved here
about three to four years ago,prior to moving here.
I was actually in the Air Forcefor 21 years.
I know you can see right behindme that plaque and everything.
(02:13):
But yeah, that's been goingever since and enjoying life.
Now let's call it that.
Candace Patrice (02:20):
That's how.
How has your week been?
How has how have you been inthe past few days?
Sean Lax (02:27):
Oh good, this week has actually been a lot.
I would say this week has beengreat.
Let's just start there.
I myself, I'm one that lovesthe sun, and this week is a lot
of sun come out.
Candace Patrice (02:59):
So I've been outside practically every day
this week and it's beenabsolutely fantastic.
Awesome Me.
Oh, thanks for asking.
I've been really good.
I'm planning for the CommonUnity Conference with Liberated
Grounds and I am hosting ourSaturday conference and I will
say I am a little nervous.
That crept in like yesterday.
I was like whoa, what is this?
So today I have a photo shootand some things going on, so I'm
(03:20):
excited about that.
I'm excited about that gettingthat together.
But the week has.
I mean, every day is really sogood.
Even when it's not perfect orgoing the way that I want it,
it's really good.
There's so much gratitude ineach day, so I can't even.
I made some spaghetti the otherday and that made my soul happy
(03:41):
.
It makes my body happy.
And that made my soul happy.
It makes my body happy.
I may overindulge in spaghettibecause it's my favorite food,
but I'm happy.
So, yeah, things are good.
How about you, mom?
Janet Hale (03:56):
Hey, I'm good, I am.
You know, I'm always intosomething.
So this week, embracing being61 years old, I'm so embracing
that, like dang Janet, and youlook so pretty, oh, thank you.
I'm like you rock girl, like mylife is okay.
And, like you just said,candice, regardless of what I'm
(04:16):
going through discomfort,sometimes the growing spurt is
painful, but I always, for me,recognize that that growth and
that pain is leading me to somesort of healing.
Whatever it is, there's ahealing on the other side and
with that it helps me a lot.
It helps me get through.
Today I'm doing laundry,candice, and it reminded me Wait
(04:39):
, yes, laundry, don't do that.
I'm real safe, real safe, likeI watch TV in the basement, that
kind of safe.
So, anyway, okay, wait, wait,wait, no listen.
Candace Patrice (04:51):
Okay, guys, the laundry's in the basement, so
that's why I'm working and Idon't like her on the stairs.
Janet Hale (04:57):
Okay, I'm doing real good.
I promise I even put on gymshoes in the house with my
nightgown on.
Candace Patrice (05:11):
I'm serious like taking care, but I wanted
to get to the part aboutcleaning up.
Janet Hale (05:13):
So I'm cleaning and I'm putting clothes and I said
this looks like when Kandi usedto clean her room it was warm
before the quiet, so it's alittle messy, but I don't know.
Candace Patrice (05:20):
And to explain that, guys, my room was upstairs
and I used to take everythingfrom my room and bring it
downstairs in the hallway whileno one was home, because who
wants people in your space whileyou're cleaning?
Not me, and I would.
But go ahead.
It was my space at that timeand I would take everything and
(05:44):
put it in its place in order,because I needed a clean canvas
in order to make it right.
And then I can figure out whatto do with the rest of the
little knickknacks that was leftover on the floor, which
probably went in like a box orsomething, because I really
didn't like throwing stuff awayand I still don't.
But okay, finish, go ahead.
I digress.
Janet Hale (05:59):
No, that's fine.
And so when you just said thatit's some of the memories that
seem so insignificant, like howthat was a big thing for me
remembering when you cleanedyour room and making that
connection even today, you knowwhat I mean.
Like you were, what?
12?
I don't remember.
Whatever you were, something.
Candace Patrice (06:20):
Well, we moved there when I was eight, that's
all I know.
Janet Hale (06:22):
Eight, nine, 10.
Okay.
Then I think I went upstairsabout four years later maybe, so
that sounds pretty accurate,pretty accurate, okay, but just
to be able to make thoseconnections, the things that
seem so insignificant.
Just doing the laundry canbring back a pleasant memory,
although it wasn't pleasant whenyou were doing it.
Why?
Candace Patrice (06:43):
You must have came home earlier.
Janet Hale (06:48):
Oh, I called it a couple of times, but anyway, so
to sum it all up, my week hasbeen really good.
It's been very insightful, andyou talked about gratitude.
It brings me back to being justgrateful.
You know, for me just to begrateful to still be here.
I lost my mother at 58.
You know what I mean.
Like Janet, just do it, do it,do it.
(07:14):
So it just feels good and itfeels good to have the spirit of
life in me.
It feels really good.
So I don't know, that was along way of answering that
question.
Candace Patrice (07:20):
I also cut you off several times.
Sean Lax (07:22):
I need a long way to get to the point.
I get it, thank you.
Candace Patrice (07:28):
Thank you, she'll build a whole forest.
Janet Hale (07:31):
Oh yeah.
Candace Patrice (07:32):
We're just talking about one tree.
The whole forest is built andthat's okay.
Okay, so, sean, sean, sean,sean, sean, sean Sean.
You have a story.
You've been through some lifeand you have found your way to
(07:52):
appreciation, like you said, ofthe sun.
You like the sun, you like togo out in the sun.
How has real estate changedyour perspective on life, from
coming out of the Air Force for21 years into real estate?
Sean Lax (08:14):
And how long have you been doing real estate?
Ok, so real estate wise,actually buying and selling in a
sense of helping clients, hasonly been about three years.
In those three years it's beennothing but growth.
My first year I probably did, Iwould say, $3 million in sales.
(08:39):
Second year I broke $6 million,$7 million in sales and this is
doing pretty good.
As of like three months ago Iwas already at a million plus in
sales.
So, ideally, real estate canchange the way you look at a lot
of different things for me,right, and I say that because
(09:01):
prior, when I was in themilitary, that was a consistent
check, that was constant money.
But so I was never financiallysound in a sense of thinking
about saving for the future,planning for when I'm able to
(09:24):
hit 61, 62 years old, notthinking about that right Now.
I think about that a lotbecause of real estate.
But that really started in themilitary when I was 21, 22 years
old and I bought my first home,and even then I didn't know
what I was doing.
(09:45):
I just knew, ideally, well, Icould do this, because I'm
coming back from a deploymentthat I absolutely hated and I
need my own place, I needsomething I could call my own.
So one of my captains at thetime and I love telling the
story because this was kind ofmy start to my financial freedom
(10:05):
but one of my captains at thetime he asked me while I was
deployed.
He said where are you planningon moving when you go back home?
And I said I don't know.
I'll probably go back to thecondo that I was renting and dot
, dot, dot dot.
And he was like all right, solet's break these numbers down.
He, being a black captain inthe air force, he took me and
(10:30):
mentored me and explained whyowning an asset was 10 times
better than renting one.
And by doing that, he he walkedme through it and that opened
the door for real estate for me.
So I purchased my first home 22.
(10:50):
It was a foreclosure.
Matter of fact, it was in 2008when I purchased it.
So 2008 was the huge housingcrash.
It was the huge housing crash,so I got a decent deal on it.
But at the time I didn't knowthat.
I know the crash was happening,right, I just knew I had to
(11:19):
make this huge purchase and, ok,it's just like you were nervous
and fearful.
Same thing I was nervous, I wasfearful.
I didn't know.
I always went before.
(11:42):
That moment prior to I didn'twas a fear when I was like, well
, I don't really know aboutbuying a house, it doesn't make
sense.
And then he broke down likerenting over buying and why
buying is the option to go withwhen I'm spending $1,100 for a
rental and I could put that$1,100 to my own thing.
So after purchasing and thengetting out of the military and
(12:09):
actually holding on to thatproperty for about 10 plus years
and then selling it for doublewhat it was worth and being able
to say, hey, this is this issomething that I actually enjoy.
I take with me that mentorshipinto when I'm helping out a
first time home buyer or whenI'm helping out someone that is
(12:31):
looking to either sell theirhome or buy a rental property,
or I use that memory as mypositive anchor to get me to
that finish line per se with myclients.
Does that make sense?
Candace Patrice (12:49):
It does.
So you said that you were inthe military for 21 years in the
Air Force, but you actuallyhated it.
Sean Lax (13:00):
No, I hated certain deployments.
Candace Patrice (13:04):
Ah, okay, okay.
Sean Lax (13:05):
Of being in the military, well, let me certain
deployments, ah okay.
Of being in the military, welllet me not say love, I enjoyed
being in the military Okay.
At some point I truly lovedbeing there.
And then it kind of it has anebb and flow, right, you're kind
(13:27):
of learning and not really allin.
And then at some point, rightabout my 10 year mark, I was all
in.
And then one to a point where,uh, my body ached and my mental
state wasn't the best and, um,just going through personal life
things, it just became this allright, I need something
different.
So at the 20 year mark, I waslike all right, it's time to
(13:49):
call it, especially when theysaid I couldn't deploy anymore.
All right, yep, well, there'sno real point in me staying and
giving you my time when, in thereality of why I enjoy being
here or doing the things that Ican no longer do, so I had to
let it go.
Candace Patrice (14:06):
So what made you decide to join the Air Force
in the first place?
Sean Lax (14:09):
I didn't have a plan.
Candace Patrice (14:10):
I know everybody has their plan Go
ahead.
Wait, say that one more time.
Sean Lax (14:15):
Didn't have a plan for my life right.
So, backstory, when I lived inSt Louis and I was growing up,
there was that one point where,like growing up, I grew up in
the suburbs of St Louis, at oneportion, and then my mother and
(14:38):
father were very successful.
At that point in time it wasthe early 90s.
They were very successful, theywere working at the time it was
McDonnell Douglas, now known asBoeing.
They owned two homes.
We were living well, we wereliving.
(14:59):
What the American dream wasThen dream was Then 1992, I
believe, was happened, and welost everything, everything.
We were absolutely homeless, andwhen I say homeless, we were
sleeping in our car.
(15:19):
The beautiful thing about myparents, though, was they have
three kids, me and my twosisters, younger sisters I'm the
oldest, so I remember every bitof this, and I was about 12
when this was happening and thebeautiful thing about my parents
was they tried their hardest toconceal the downfall.
(15:43):
Their hardest to conceal thedownfall right, losing our first
house.
That was a rent that was kindof inherited and given to them,
and then kind of just saying, oh, you know, it's just part of
life.
And then, all of a sudden, inour home that I grew up in.
You start seeing thingsdisappearing furniture,
(16:11):
different things that you'reused to going away, things that
we used to do stop, we're nolonger doing.
And it's late nightconversations that I'm supposed
to be asleep but I hear themarguing over trying how are we
going to pay this bill, or howare we going to pay this bill or
how are we going to do this.
And it's one of those, like.
(16:33):
I know that at the time we were,we were trying to survive and
in a Black community it's thatis always where we're at trying
to survive.
Lived in the suburbs and in the90s it was majority a white
(16:54):
community, so it's not a matterof survival but also an added
holding to that standard that'salready there, right?
So you're trying to stay withyour friends and hang out and do
all these things when thebackground, we're struggling,
(17:15):
we're falling apart, we'repowers off at the house and
we're walking around withcandles and things like that,
right?
So as that went on, weeventually, like, ended up in my
grandparents' home in the hooddowntown St Louis, off the Cass.
If people know it, you wouldknow that it's like it's the
(17:39):
hood.
Was it like.
Janet Hale (17:42):
Detroit's Cass.
Sean Lax (17:44):
Everyone knows the hood when you see the hood
liquor store, church chickenspot, abandoned Auto parts.
Janet Hale (17:52):
The cannabis store.
Candace Patrice (17:54):
Not back then.
Janet Hale (17:56):
No, I'm just saying now we can, it applies.
Sean Lax (18:01):
But I wasn't used to that.
I was used to growing up untilabout 12 years old.
I was used to being in thesuburbs.
I was used to talking proper.
I was used to a certain way ofpresenting yourself.
In the hood it wasn't like that, it was doggy dog almost.
So going to that, I've had avery difficult teenage years.
(18:25):
Where it was, I was picked on.
Why do you talk like you'rewhite, why do you and it was one
of those almost didn't fit inbecause of that and didn't have
that community grasp always,always have it.
But it was almost that you'rethe cousin from a distant family
(18:47):
member feeling right, right,does that make sense?
I don't know.
But yeah, he family, but heain't like family, family, right
.
But, I always, always, stay withmy community, love my community
, and the thing that I neverlearned, which most of us don't,
(19:08):
is financial freedom, financialindependence, how to save money
.
What is an asset over aliability?
What are things that?
How do you build your communityup?
Why are we having to strugglewhen, in the suburbs, they're
taking care of their houses,they're taking care of their
neighbor's houses, they'retaking care of their home?
(19:32):
Values are going up, whilewe're still steady where we're
at.
So it was one of those.
Well, this is or going down orgoing down, right.
Candace Patrice (19:40):
Because another house is vacant.
Sean Lax (19:42):
The mentality for growing up for me was always
well, all right, well, if I geta dollar, this dollar is mine
until I give it to the next manand I pass it on.
And it's normally not somethingthat I'm buying that I know is
going to last me 10, 20 years,it's something that I'm going to
use right now and then it'sgone, it's extinguished.
(20:03):
Well, by the time.
It came in the military andgoing from not having money to,
oh, I get a paycheck every twoweeks To the club we go, yay,
about to hit the whatever thatlooks like, right.
So I always was check to check,check to check, check to check
(20:23):
for a very long time.
And then it became this thingof when I had to sit down and
say, hey, what are you planningon doing?
Because I've been doing thisfor now.
I joined the military at 18.
Right out of right out of highschool, that summer.
That summer, I joined themilitary right out of high
(20:45):
school and I didn't have a plan.
I didn't have anyone to say,hey, we're going to college.
It was a conversation, but itwasn't a conversation, right, it
wasn't what you're.
Candace Patrice (20:57):
It was a pass through.
Sean Lax (20:58):
Yes, it's a in one year, out the other.
Or oh, you about to graduate,cool, what you about to do, I
don't know.
All right, okay, that's whatwas not like my parents had the
money to be able to save up forme to go to college.
It's not like we had theconversation on places to go and
(21:19):
things like that.
I never took my ASVAD, nevernot, as I never took my SATs,
never took the ACTs, never gotany kind of preparation for, hey
, you're going into college.
So one day I'm sitting on thecouch and I'm watching TV and
see a commercial for themilitary and I'm thinking, oh
(21:42):
well, that's something.
And then I'm walking somewhereand I seen a recruiter's office
and I literally was like I'm notdoing anything, walked right in
, signed up that day and thatwas the.
That's how I progressed on totraveling the world, working on
a good degree, now owning homesin real estate.
(22:04):
So it changed.
That helped change myprojection, because now I say if
I did not make that step inthat door, I probably would have
been in a cell or a coffin,because that's where my life was
my mother and father, bothpastors, they're both religious.
(22:27):
However, the environment wewere in would have determined
where I would go.
I had to change the environment.
My mother and father changedthe environment as well, at 18,
that summer they decided to pickup and move to California 2000,
.
Moving to California.
(22:48):
Silicon Valley is booming.
It's one of those.
They went their way, but Istayed in St Louis.
I'm 18.
I'm going to do my own thing.
I decided to go into the AirForce.
It's been a blessing ever since.
Janet Hale (23:03):
I wanted to say I know, Candace, you're going to
jump in.
Candace Patrice (23:05):
No, I saw you writing so go for it.
Janet Hale (23:07):
Because when you were talking and I was thinking
as you were going and you wereprocessing things and I said,
you finally said yes to yourself.
Yes, that's what it soundedlike, and the other thing that
came to mind when you weretalking is that you were finding
out your worth.
Yes, in the process of all thethings that you've been through
(23:31):
I wrote a whole bunch of stuffdown, so I'm not going to write
them all.
Oh, when you mentioned thesurvivor mode and I thought
about how we often that's ourwhole life we're in survivor
mode.
I got to do this, I got to dothat, I got to do that and we
are doers instead of beingpeople.
You know what I mean?
You just get caught up in therat race, right?
So I thought about that.
(23:51):
And then when you talked aboutyour parents and how they were
trying to conceal thedevastation of the situation
from their children, and Iwonder how did that work for
them?
Because it sounds like you evenpicked up on something's not
right.
Candace Patrice (24:07):
I'm supposed to be asleep, but they're in there
bickering right, I'm supposedto be asleep, but they're in
there bickering.
So that, and before you answerthat, because I have a similar
thing that I wrote down, um, canyou also include the answer,
for do you think that um themnot concealing the information
would have helped?
Okay, go ahead.
Sean Lax (24:32):
So I think that they did their best for what they had
Right, and me and my motherhave had these conversations
multiple times over and youunderstand, everyone's life is
what it is, and even yourreality.
(24:52):
Right now we're talking, we'reseeing things differently even
while we're talking, right.
So, in their situation, for me,I was like I said, I was about
12 years old when all of thiswas happening.
So for me, I, at this point, amof the age of understanding.
(25:15):
So, even if they concealed itand tried to keep it to where we
as a family were a unit andstill prospering in their mind,
or for what the kids could see,I knew there was a change.
I knew there was a change,right.
But I went along with saidchange because my younger
(25:37):
sisters ages they were, theywere like two and eight at the
time they needed to be able tono, I'm sorry, I'm wrong, yeah,
two and five, five, six.
They needed to understand thatwe're still together, no one's
separate.
We're still moving.
So, myself, I believe that myparents did what they were
(26:01):
supposed to do.
Now, if it was one of thosewhere, um, if it was one of
(26:36):
those scenarios where theyneeded to divulge that
information fully.
No, I don't think they neededto do that because my mentality
would have changed into thatenvironment where they feel that
they have to now help orsupport in some manner, be it
whatever it is that can have amajor turn in that person's
development.
Right, don't get me wrong,hustle how you're supposed to
hustle, but for a child.
Hustle how you're supposed tohustle, but for a child.
Let a child be a child, right.
(26:56):
Let them grow and you mold asneed be To build a.
Hey, we're losing this.
Build that negativity thatcomes along with homelessness.
(27:23):
They didn't do that.
They kept it positive as bestthey could with the chaos that
was around us, because I canunderstand us going from where
we were and throwing us in thehood.
Multiple times I've thought whatdoes that scenario would have
looked like if now I'm in thehood?
Well, maybe I got to hustle, Igot to.
I got to sell drugs, I got todo.
It's the 90s, all the big right.
(27:45):
Now, right, I'm.
I'm pretty sure I can easily goon any corner in St Louis and
say, hey, I need to make somemoney, I need to make bread,
help me out At the age of 12, 13, 14, to be able to pass it
along to my parents.
Will my parents approve of that?
Absolutely not.
They're pastors.
They're not going to be like,yeah, my son's out here making
(28:09):
us no Right.
Going to be like, yeah, myson's out here making us no
Right, and then that would havecaused new conflicts and on top
of that they would have had tothen worry about will my son
come home tonight, which wouldhave been an added stress to the
already stressfulness of thesituation.
So no, I don't think them.
(28:30):
Divulging the full gambit ofthe information or what was
happening would have beenbeneficial, if that's the way to
look at it right.
Candace Patrice (28:40):
You mentioned that your sisters needed to know
that you were together.
Is that something you couldidentify when you were 12?
Or is that something inhindsight that you can identify
and see?
Sean Lax (28:55):
That's a hindsight thing, cause at the, at 12, I
was the same.
I was in the same boat as mychildren as not my children as
my sisters.
However, I could also seethings that they, as young as
they were, were not seeing.
So I saw both sides of the coin, as the child and as the
(29:15):
growing adult to be, and whatwas coming or what was happening
.
And now I know me.
I have a huge fear of beingbroke.
I have a huge fear of beinghomeless again or being in that
scenario.
Don't get me wrong.
(29:36):
I have been very close to beingthat.
Even while in the military, Iwas very close to being again
broke Very much.
Oh my goodness, because Ididn't know how to manage my
money and knowing that now it'sone of those, oh my goodness,
because I didn't know how to.
I didn't know how to manage mymoney.
(30:02):
And knowing that now it's one ofthose.
Candace Patrice (30:03):
Oh my God, I was putting myself back in the
same scenario when did you?
Sean Lax (30:08):
when did you learn the financial responsibility?
And I'm not great at that, soplease know I'm I'm not good at
financial responsibility yet,but I've.
I've adapted a lot of thingsthat make a lot more sense and
have made me at least not stressover finances.
But I didn't learn it until 36,when I read my first book on it
(30:38):
, which was Rich Dad, Poor DadAbsolutely fabulous book.
If you have not read it, by allmeans read it.
But it talks about real estateand it gets into that realm.
But then that led me down ahuge path of okay, well, I need
to start a portfolio of stocksand looking into insurance and
look at so different thingswhere you all right, shit, I
(31:00):
need to start a business somehow, I need to do this.
So all these different thingsnow are in my mind of you cannot
be stuck in just one window.
Janet Hale (31:11):
So when I was listening to you and we were
asking about the concealment,something beautiful came across
for me.
We asked you a question.
You automatically went intodefending your parents and I
thought, wow, listen to him.
You were like no, and theydidn't do anything wrong.
(31:31):
I said, ok, he's working thisout and you know.
And I listened to that and Ithought, hmm, because parents do
the best that we can, period,we give what we can give.
Period, period, period.
Sean Lax (31:48):
Because parents don't know what you know, because
parents don't know everythingeither.
Oh, trust me, I know that'tknow what you know because
parents don't know everythingeither.
Janet Hale (31:53):
Oh, trust me, I know that.
So you know, trust me.
And so we can have a wholenother podcast on that.
So, yeah.
So when I heard that, I thought, oh, okay, because that is the
truth when you say, whatever ithappened, however, it went down,
they did it the way they knewhow to do it and it was the best
thing for my parents anddealing with me and it worked
(32:15):
out.
Ok, that was cool.
The other thing this is frombefore we asked that question,
when you talked about we'retalking about growing up in the
hood and different things likethat I thought about this.
I thought about the scarcitymindset and the mindset of
abundance because, like you said, getting that check every two
(32:36):
weeks, you know I got a check.
You know I don't know how muchit is, but you know it's enough.
I can pay my rent, rent, rent,I can pay my rent.
I can pay the lease on my car.
Right, I can buy me the Gucci'sand the this and the that.
Gucci's a stretch.
No no no, they will save up themoney, put it over anywhere,
(32:58):
whoever the big designers.
And then the abundance mindsetis the mindset, in my opinion,
of responsibility.
You know what I mean.
Like you talked about buyingversus renting, and when we take
a look at that, it makes sense.
(33:20):
Not everyone can at the time,you know, whoever you know,
depending on their situation,but it makes more sense.
And I think about how high therent is right now.
And it's rent is high.
Somebody told me the rent.
I thought they were kidding.
I was like no, that can't betrue.
And I went and called somebodyand they were like that's true.
And then I look at what a housenote is compared to what rent
(33:45):
is.
So I think the abundance way ofthinking is that we're wiser
and how we spend our money,whether we have a lot or a
little.
You know what I mean.
So I kind of went off track.
But yeah, okay, audience, I'mback.
Candace Patrice (34:05):
Well, I wanted to kind of tap into something.
I wanted to kind of tap ontosomething.
And how do you, what advicewould you give to someone who is
struggling with homelessnessright now to be able to stay in
a mindset to get through?
(34:25):
Because I know it can be reallydifficult.
You can't tell when the end iscoming and in that moment it
just it feels low.
I could, I would imagine itfeels low because I haven't been
homeless, right?
Sean Lax (34:47):
my advice would be be humble, and I say that in a
sense of you have to humbleyourself.
A lot of times, most people andmost people try to stick with
their ego and say, oh, I coulddo it, I can get through it, or
(35:08):
I'll stay in it because there'sno other way out.
This is just what it is.
But humble yourself, ask forthe help from your family, from
your friends, from yourcommunity, from somebody.
Hey, can I wash your car for 10bucks?
You ain't got to go crazy.
Just be humble about it.
(35:29):
Right, and ideally, it willeventually work itself out,
because it worked itself out formy family.
Right, my mother and fatherdecided, hey, we have to let
this house go that they wereliving in.
We had to let it go.
We they humbled themselves andthey asked my grandmother hey,
(35:55):
can we move back in?
All five of us moved back inthe house.
Can we make it work?
We're struggling and from thatstruggle we learned.
And my mom you know what theysay from the bootstraps right,
my mom did.
Right, she was like all rightwhen she grind to find a better
(36:17):
job.
My dad did the same thing.
He was doing odd jobs left andright, which is very humbling.
But you also, from myperspective, for my parents'
sake, I could see that was thatgrind.
But that's what we always are,right as a community, as a black
, as a culture, we always grind.
(36:37):
We always are trying to betteruntil it's somehow taken away
from us.
But we're always grinding andthey grind until we got to a
better place and they, withinwithin about two years, we were
in a better place, had our ownplace again.
(36:59):
We were still renting becausewe we had the uh foreclosures on
the record now that had to beexpunged over time.
Uh, and they have their ownfears too, and we've talked
through those as well about likebuying again and doing certain
things.
But it's one of those wherethey still grow.
(37:19):
They did their part to get thefamily out of the muck.
It's a lot easier to do whenyou're single.
You can do that with the familymaybe a little bit tougher, but
you can still humble yourselfand grind and just save what.
You can put it where it needsto go.
Don't waste and that's somethingthat I had to learn, even as an
(37:43):
adult, is don't waste.
We waste so much on frivolousthings that is not even needed,
right, we spend money on clothesthat we don't need to spend
money on.
Constantly and I'm I'm guiltyof that even to this day I see a
pair of shoes and be like, ooh,I really like these.
I'm going to spend money onshoes, knowing I got 50 million
(38:05):
shoes that I probably will orwon't wear, but I like it
because I want it as acollective.
Ideally, though, we need to bemore mindful of how we do things
and how we move, how we spendmoney, how we, how we grow as a
community, because there'sthere's many, many, many
different programs out therethat are available to everybody,
(38:28):
and you just have to goresearch it, just have to go
find it.
The best knowledge is theknowledge of of better that's
available for you.
Everything is free, not oftenjust social media.
Go to a library, read a bookand learn something.
It's free, it's there, just doit.
Candace Patrice (38:47):
I have a question, because that's what I
do.
I have questions.
Um, so you, your lower pointsof your life.
(39:08):
How long did that experienceaffect your mental health and
are you through it now?
And, if so, what was thecatalyst that helped change that
state of mind to a better stateof mind?
Sean Lax (39:23):
I don't ever think you're through it or done with
it, because it is part of you.
Everything in your life, fromthe time you're born all the way
to now, is a part of you.
You.
Everything that you've done hasbuilt and created who you are
now.
However, you don't have todwell in it.
(39:46):
There's the difference.
If you dwell in it, that's justyou not working through it,
because you are the betterperson you are, the bigger you
are the one that is able to stepout of that if you need to,
when you need to.
(40:09):
There have been many times whereI've had very, very low points,
very, very low points.
However, what has always keptme grounded is the idea of what
would happen if I was not here.
(40:30):
How would others feel if Iwasn't here?
How would others feel if Iwasn't here?
And that's always kept me heregrounded, not the fact of it
feels selfish to take.
That makes sense without sayingthat it sounds selfish.
(40:55):
Ideally, if you're going througha rough patch, talk to your
people.
There's always someone that'swilling to listen and mental is
your thing, but there may besomebody else that has gone
through it and has workedthrough it, or somebody that you
can go back and forth and talkabout it.
Just get involved, right,somebody that you can go back
(41:17):
and forth and talk about it.
Just get it right.
If you hold it, you're going todwell on it and it's just going
to keep you in that state ofmind constantly and it's just
going to beat on you over andover again and you're having an
internal war that you don't needto have.
You don't have to have it.
The more you project it and youlet it out, the easier your
(41:39):
soul feels, your inner feels.
You ever get that rumble inyour stomach and you're like, oh
my God, I'm so tense, scream,let it out, just get it out of
you.
And the more you do that, thebetter you'll feel.
And then, if you need to talkto somebody, do it.
And then, if you need to talkto somebody, do it.
(42:00):
I know in our community we areones that don't take advantage
of therapy, counseling, healing.
We don't take advantage of it.
Why?
Because we don't know it.
We're so stuck in this mindsetof we got it hard all the time,
when we don't have to be, bevulnerable.
Sometimes it's needed,sometimes it's just needed.
Okay, what you got, janet.
Janet Hale (42:25):
You see me.
I want to go back to thehomeless conversation Because I
was listening to you aboutwhat's out there.
There's programs out here thathelps pull yourself up by your
bootstraps.
You said to be humble, watchhow you spend money and I
(42:46):
thought, wow, if someone ishomeless listening to this, I
would want to speak to that andI would say this that I
understand that sometimes thereis no support system for you.
I understand that sometimes youdon't have boots to pull straps
from.
(43:06):
I understand that there areprograms out there that they say
they're going to help you andwhen you go for them you're on a
wait list for two years.
I would say I understand thatyou are already humbled and
humiliated.
I would say that there is spacefor you and it's a space of
(43:32):
compassion, of understanding.
It's a space of compassion, ofunderstanding and to hope that
things can turn around for you,because I know sometimes being
(43:54):
homeless or unhoused is whatthey're saying now is not the
same for everyone.
It depends on their situationand I've seen firsthand folks
who are unhoused or homelessstruggling through the system
that's supposed to help them andthe help really isn't there.
I mean they could say you know,we have this and we have that,
(44:17):
and then when they go for thesupport, it is not there.
And then I wanted to go to thetherapy part, and you're talking
about our community and I thinkthat's the paradigm has shifted
.
We are all in therapy, or withthe coach or a close friend you
know what I mean, because noteverybody can afford therapy.
So maybe an elder that you cango to and talk to, to kind of
(44:41):
you know, filter things out.
I just think that that thatparadigm is shifting.
As far as our community andtherapy, or even if the therapy
is the barbershop or the beautyshop or your best friend or your
grandmother or your auntie oryour uncle, or the beauty shop,
or your best friend or yourgrandmother or your auntie or
your uncle I'm just puttingthose things out there for folks
(45:02):
who are listening and you knowto offer up, you know, some
resources that does not costmoney, that it's available and
it's always pretty much beenavailable.
Now women black, the blackwomen have usually like look, I
gotta talk to my mama, I gottatalk to my grandma, I need to
(45:24):
know what's going on.
You know what I mean.
Like we have been kind of in it, like they're talking to
somebody.
Okay, probably talking too muchsometimes, but we're talking um
.
And then for our Black brothersI get that they were slow to
the party, but I'm hearing moreand more that they are arriving.
Candace Patrice (45:42):
They were halted to the party.
Janet Hale (45:45):
They were halted.
Yeah, yeah, I just wanted tospeak to that and speaking to
those who may be listening thatare in that particular situation
.
Candace Patrice (46:03):
Was it something that you you look like
?
You wanted to respond a coupleof times, sean.
Sean Lax (46:08):
No, I was on complete agreeance with you in the past,
I would say four years.
Uh, therapy and counseling andthings of that nature have
become more prevalent with theidea that, hey, like we do need
to get out of the mindset of, wedo have to get out of the
(46:31):
mindset of being in survivalmode, being in fight or flight
mode and get more into avulnerable state.
But that is, and I completelyagree that black men have
absolutely a bad deal of growingand being something separate
(46:55):
than what we've been programmedto be, and I say programmed
because of media and thestereotypes and all the
different things that have kindof held black men back in that
mentality.
But you're very true, in thestate of our pseudo therapies,
(47:21):
as in our church communities,our hospitals not hospitals, but
our barbershops, our hairsalons, girls nights whatever
game nights, things like thatwhere we just those simple
building of camaraderiedefinitely helps when it comes
(47:45):
to resiliency and building thatstate of knowing that you're
still one Ideally right.
Candace Patrice (47:59):
But yeah, that's all I had to say.
Thank you, yes, thank you.
Thank you, sean.
We are going to wrap up.
One, of course if you or anyoneyou know is struggling and need
assistance, you can call theNational Suicide Prevention
Lifeline at 988 or text at 988.
I want to give you guys just anopportunity to say any last
(48:22):
words to the guest, any lastadvice, anything that could
assist them on this journeycalled life, in whatever area
that they are in, because we areall on our own path, no matter
whether it looks like someoneelse's path or not.
It is an individual journey.
So I want to just let you guyshave any closing remarks.
Janet Hale (48:49):
Okay, sean, I just wanted to say thank you for
showing up and being in thisspace with us and thank you for
the gems that you dropped for us, and especially being a black
man and being able to speak tothe things that you spoke to, I
think is very important.
(49:09):
So thank you so much.
Sean Lax (49:21):
Also, Sean, give us your real estate information so
that anybody who's seekingproperty can give you a call in
the Michigan area.
Absolutely, absolutely.
So I appreciate you having meon your show.
I know, candice, when we talked.
I know we've been trying to getthis coordinated for a while,
so I truly appreciate you givingme the space to speak, uh, at
least about my little stand inmy life.
Um, cause there's multipletimes where I just feel like I
(49:41):
need to get it out like this.
And uh, to all the guests thatare listening um, by all means,
you got this.
You are amazing.
You are awesome.
Uh, don't give up.
You have somebody, anybody andeverybody to talk to.
(50:02):
If not, give me a call.
Eight, five zero, I'm sorry,eight, what?
I can't even figure out my ownnumber.
Oh, eight, one zero.
Two, five, five, four, three,three, zero, um.
And if it's just to say hello,oh, 810-255-4330.
And if it's just to say hello,by all means do that.
But you can also reach me therefor any real estate advice, as
(50:26):
well as you can hit me at any ofmy social medias.
I am also.
I'll make sure Candice has allmy links and she can put it in
the bio or in the comments below.
But you can do anything.
Your world is your world.
We're just living in it.
Please know we enjoy this.
Candace Patrice (51:00):
I'd also like to just remind everyone that,
again, no matter where you arein life, if you continue to live
life, you'll experience adifferent part of it.
Some of them are going to beextreme highs.
Some of them may be what youconsider extreme lows, because
we all have differentexperiences and outlooks, and
our mindset is one of thegreatest things that help us get
through our situations.
So continue to feed yourselfthe information that is healthy
(51:26):
for you.
We talked about gut health in aprevious episode, so you know,
get your gut healthy.
Feed yourself the informationthat you want to learn the
places that you want to go.
Listen to those people who canfeed you If someone has a
similar story, not that you haveto follow their same path, but
(51:49):
to know, hey, I'll get throughthis, you will get through
whatever it is.
Just stay in the game, stay inlife.
I believe that God will pushyou and put you in the places
you need to be in and that thejourney that you are on is very
intentional for your own purpose.
So look for the lessons in thetrials and tribulations that you
(52:16):
go through, figure out what itis that triggers you and work on
ways to get through thosetriggers and if something
doesn't work, try something else.
It's okay to change it up.
It's okay to say that didn'twork for me, it worked for you,
it did not work for me.
(52:37):
So find what works for you.
Just don't give up.
At the end of the day, don'tgive up.
Get you the coach, get you thetherapist, get you the safe
friend.
Yeah, that's my little spiel.
Thank you, sean, for being here.
Thank you for being vulnerable,thank you for being a black man
who is willing to heal himselfand share his journey with
others.
So, okay, that was a long exit.
(52:59):
So you guys can also find me atEssential Motivation
CandicePatrice underscore EM onInstagram,
essentialmotivationcom.
You can email me,candicefleming, at
EssentialMotivationcom.
If you want to be a guest.
Please send us an email, pleasesend us feedback, please like,
(53:20):
share, subscribe all of thewonderful things and remember to
always love hard, forgive oftenand laugh frequent.
Bye, guys, bye-bye.
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing,where I am your host, candice
Patrice.
Joining me today, of course, asalways, because she shall never
leave us again is Janet Hale.
Janet Hale (00:23):
Hello, hello, hello, everybody, hello.
Candace Patrice (00:28):
My lovely mother.
Hello, mother.
Today we have a guest with us.
Our guest is Sean Sean Lax.
Hi Sean, how are you today?
Sean Lax (00:39):
Good, how are you all?
Candace Patrice (00:42):
Good.
I met Sean guys when I was inthe process of looking for a
home that I stopped looking forbut I still have an can see how
(01:02):
important it is to know yourcustomer and make them your
family.
You know it's like you'rebuilding something that is
important and your needs beingmet is very important.
So thank you, sean, for that.
Sean Lax (01:31):
But we are going to get a little bit into his story,
but, shot, tell us a little bitabout you, your start and how
you ended up where you are rightnow.
That's a good question.
Can you all hear me clearly?
Right, everybody can hear me.
Perfect, perfect.
So hello everyone.
How's it going out there?
I am Sean Lacks.
I am with Wentworth Real EstateGroup here in Michigan.
So if you are looking,shameless plug whatever but
(01:52):
myself.
I was born and raised in StLouis, missouri, Moved here
about three to four years ago,prior to moving here.
I was actually in the Air Forcefor 21 years.
I know you can see right behindme that plaque and everything.
(02:13):
But yeah, that's been goingever since and enjoying life.
Now let's call it that.
Candace Patrice (02:20):
That's how.
How has your week been?
How has how have you been inthe past few days?
Sean Lax (02:27):
Oh good, this week has actually been a lot.
I would say this week has beengreat.
Let's just start there.
I myself, I'm one that lovesthe sun, and this week is a lot
of sun come out.
Candace Patrice (02:59):
So I've been outside practically every day
this week and it's beenabsolutely fantastic.
Awesome Me.
Oh, thanks for asking.
I've been really good.
I'm planning for the CommonUnity Conference with Liberated
Grounds and I am hosting ourSaturday conference and I will
say I am a little nervous.
That crept in like yesterday.
I was like whoa, what is this?
So today I have a photo shootand some things going on, so I'm
(03:20):
excited about that.
I'm excited about that gettingthat together.
But the week has.
I mean, every day is really sogood.
Even when it's not perfect orgoing the way that I want it,
it's really good.
There's so much gratitude ineach day, so I can't even.
I made some spaghetti the otherday and that made my soul happy
(03:41):
.
It makes my body happy.
And that made my soul happy.
It makes my body happy.
I may overindulge in spaghettibecause it's my favorite food,
but I'm happy.
So, yeah, things are good.
How about you, mom?
Janet Hale (03:56):
Hey, I'm good, I am.
You know, I'm always intosomething.
So this week, embracing being61 years old, I'm so embracing
that, like dang Janet, and youlook so pretty, oh, thank you.
I'm like you rock girl, like mylife is okay.
And, like you just said,candice, regardless of what I'm
(04:16):
going through discomfort,sometimes the growing spurt is
painful, but I always, for me,recognize that that growth and
that pain is leading me to somesort of healing.
Whatever it is, there's ahealing on the other side and
with that it helps me a lot.
It helps me get through.
Today I'm doing laundry,candice, and it reminded me Wait
(04:39):
, yes, laundry, don't do that.
I'm real safe, real safe, likeI watch TV in the basement, that
kind of safe.
So, anyway, okay, wait, wait,wait, no listen.
Candace Patrice (04:51):
Okay, guys, the laundry's in the basement, so
that's why I'm working and Idon't like her on the stairs.
Janet Hale (04:57):
Okay, I'm doing real good.
I promise I even put on gymshoes in the house with my
nightgown on.
Candace Patrice (05:11):
I'm serious like taking care, but I wanted
to get to the part aboutcleaning up.
Janet Hale (05:13):
So I'm cleaning and I'm putting clothes and I said
this looks like when Kandi usedto clean her room it was warm
before the quiet, so it's alittle messy, but I don't know.
Candace Patrice (05:20):
And to explain that, guys, my room was upstairs
and I used to take everythingfrom my room and bring it
downstairs in the hallway whileno one was home, because who
wants people in your space whileyou're cleaning?
Not me, and I would.
But go ahead.
It was my space at that timeand I would take everything and
(05:44):
put it in its place in order,because I needed a clean canvas
in order to make it right.
And then I can figure out whatto do with the rest of the
little knickknacks that was leftover on the floor, which
probably went in like a box orsomething, because I really
didn't like throwing stuff awayand I still don't.
But okay, finish, go ahead.
I digress.
Janet Hale (05:59):
No, that's fine.
And so when you just said thatit's some of the memories that
seem so insignificant, like howthat was a big thing for me
remembering when you cleanedyour room and making that
connection even today, you knowwhat I mean.
Like you were, what?
12?
I don't remember.
Whatever you were, something.
Candace Patrice (06:20):
Well, we moved there when I was eight, that's
all I know.
Janet Hale (06:22):
Eight, nine, 10.
Okay.
Then I think I went upstairsabout four years later maybe, so
that sounds pretty accurate,pretty accurate, okay, but just
to be able to make thoseconnections, the things that
seem so insignificant.
Just doing the laundry canbring back a pleasant memory,
although it wasn't pleasant whenyou were doing it.
Why?
Candace Patrice (06:43):
You must have came home earlier.
Janet Hale (06:48):
Oh, I called it a couple of times, but anyway, so
to sum it all up, my week hasbeen really good.
It's been very insightful, andyou talked about gratitude.
It brings me back to being justgrateful.
You know, for me just to begrateful to still be here.
I lost my mother at 58.
You know what I mean.
Like Janet, just do it, do it,do it.
(07:14):
So it just feels good and itfeels good to have the spirit of
life in me.
It feels really good.
So I don't know, that was along way of answering that
question.
Candace Patrice (07:20):
I also cut you off several times.
Sean Lax (07:22):
I need a long way to get to the point.
I get it, thank you.
Candace Patrice (07:28):
Thank you, she'll build a whole forest.
Janet Hale (07:31):
Oh yeah.
Candace Patrice (07:32):
We're just talking about one tree.
The whole forest is built andthat's okay.
Okay, so, sean, sean, sean,sean, sean, sean Sean.
You have a story.
You've been through some lifeand you have found your way to
(07:52):
appreciation, like you said, ofthe sun.
You like the sun, you like togo out in the sun.
How has real estate changedyour perspective on life, from
coming out of the Air Force for21 years into real estate?
Sean Lax (08:14):
And how long have you been doing real estate?
Ok, so real estate wise,actually buying and selling in a
sense of helping clients, hasonly been about three years.
In those three years it's beennothing but growth.
My first year I probably did, Iwould say, $3 million in sales.
(08:39):
Second year I broke $6 million,$7 million in sales and this is
doing pretty good.
As of like three months ago Iwas already at a million plus in
sales.
So, ideally, real estate canchange the way you look at a lot
of different things for me,right, and I say that because
(09:01):
prior, when I was in themilitary, that was a consistent
check, that was constant money.
But so I was never financiallysound in a sense of thinking
about saving for the future,planning for when I'm able to
(09:24):
hit 61, 62 years old, notthinking about that right Now.
I think about that a lotbecause of real estate.
But that really started in themilitary when I was 21, 22 years
old and I bought my first home,and even then I didn't know
what I was doing.
(09:45):
I just knew, ideally, well, Icould do this, because I'm
coming back from a deploymentthat I absolutely hated and I
need my own place, I needsomething I could call my own.
So one of my captains at thetime and I love telling the
story because this was kind ofmy start to my financial freedom
(10:05):
but one of my captains at thetime he asked me while I was
deployed.
He said where are you planningon moving when you go back home?
And I said I don't know.
I'll probably go back to thecondo that I was renting and dot
, dot, dot dot.
And he was like all right, solet's break these numbers down.
He, being a black captain inthe air force, he took me and
(10:30):
mentored me and explained whyowning an asset was 10 times
better than renting one.
And by doing that, he he walkedme through it and that opened
the door for real estate for me.
So I purchased my first home 22.
(10:50):
It was a foreclosure.
Matter of fact, it was in 2008when I purchased it.
So 2008 was the huge housingcrash.
It was the huge housing crash,so I got a decent deal on it.
But at the time I didn't knowthat.
I know the crash was happening,right, I just knew I had to
(11:19):
make this huge purchase and, ok,it's just like you were nervous
and fearful.
Same thing I was nervous, I wasfearful.
I didn't know.
I always went before.
(11:42):
That moment prior to I didn'twas a fear when I was like, well
, I don't really know aboutbuying a house, it doesn't make
sense.
And then he broke down likerenting over buying and why
buying is the option to go withwhen I'm spending $1,100 for a
rental and I could put that$1,100 to my own thing.
So after purchasing and thengetting out of the military and
(12:09):
actually holding on to thatproperty for about 10 plus years
and then selling it for doublewhat it was worth and being able
to say, hey, this is this issomething that I actually enjoy.
I take with me that mentorshipinto when I'm helping out a
first time home buyer or whenI'm helping out someone that is
(12:31):
looking to either sell theirhome or buy a rental property,
or I use that memory as mypositive anchor to get me to
that finish line per se with myclients.
Does that make sense?
Candace Patrice (12:49):
It does.
So you said that you were inthe military for 21 years in the
Air Force, but you actuallyhated it.
Sean Lax (13:00):
No, I hated certain deployments.
Candace Patrice (13:04):
Ah, okay, okay.
Sean Lax (13:05):
Of being in the military, well, let me certain
deployments, ah okay.
Of being in the military, welllet me not say love, I enjoyed
being in the military Okay.
At some point I truly lovedbeing there.
And then it kind of it has anebb and flow, right, you're kind
(13:27):
of learning and not really allin.
And then at some point, rightabout my 10 year mark, I was all
in.
And then one to a point where,uh, my body ached and my mental
state wasn't the best and, um,just going through personal life
things, it just became this allright, I need something
different.
So at the 20 year mark, I waslike all right, it's time to
(13:49):
call it, especially when theysaid I couldn't deploy anymore.
All right, yep, well, there'sno real point in me staying and
giving you my time when, in thereality of why I enjoy being
here or doing the things that Ican no longer do, so I had to
let it go.
Candace Patrice (14:06):
So what made you decide to join the Air Force
in the first place?
Sean Lax (14:09):
I didn't have a plan.
Candace Patrice (14:10):
I know everybody has their plan Go
ahead.
Wait, say that one more time.
Sean Lax (14:15):
Didn't have a plan for my life right.
So, backstory, when I lived inSt Louis and I was growing up,
there was that one point where,like growing up, I grew up in
the suburbs of St Louis, at oneportion, and then my mother and
(14:38):
father were very successful.
At that point in time it wasthe early 90s.
They were very successful, theywere working at the time it was
McDonnell Douglas, now known asBoeing.
They owned two homes.
We were living well, we wereliving.
(14:59):
What the American dream wasThen dream was Then 1992, I
believe, was happened, and welost everything, everything.
We were absolutely homeless, andwhen I say homeless, we were
sleeping in our car.
(15:19):
The beautiful thing about myparents, though, was they have
three kids, me and my twosisters, younger sisters I'm the
oldest, so I remember every bitof this, and I was about 12
when this was happening and thebeautiful thing about my parents
was they tried their hardest toconceal the downfall.
(15:43):
Their hardest to conceal thedownfall right, losing our first
house.
That was a rent that was kindof inherited and given to them,
and then kind of just saying, oh, you know, it's just part of
life.
And then, all of a sudden, inour home that I grew up in.
You start seeing thingsdisappearing furniture,
(16:11):
different things that you'reused to going away, things that
we used to do stop, we're nolonger doing.
And it's late nightconversations that I'm supposed
to be asleep but I hear themarguing over trying how are we
going to pay this bill, or howare we going to pay this bill or
how are we going to do this.
And it's one of those, like.
(16:33):
I know that at the time we were,we were trying to survive and
in a Black community it's thatis always where we're at trying
to survive.
Lived in the suburbs and in the90s it was majority a white
(16:54):
community, so it's not a matterof survival but also an added
holding to that standard that'salready there, right?
So you're trying to stay withyour friends and hang out and do
all these things when thebackground, we're struggling,
(17:15):
we're falling apart, we'repowers off at the house and
we're walking around withcandles and things like that,
right?
So as that went on, weeventually, like, ended up in my
grandparents' home in the hooddowntown St Louis, off the Cass.
If people know it, you wouldknow that it's like it's the
(17:39):
hood.
Was it like.
Janet Hale (17:42):
Detroit's Cass.
Sean Lax (17:44):
Everyone knows the hood when you see the hood
liquor store, church chickenspot, abandoned Auto parts.
Janet Hale (17:52):
The cannabis store.
Candace Patrice (17:54):
Not back then.
Janet Hale (17:56):
No, I'm just saying now we can, it applies.
Sean Lax (18:01):
But I wasn't used to that.
I was used to growing up untilabout 12 years old.
I was used to being in thesuburbs.
I was used to talking proper.
I was used to a certain way ofpresenting yourself.
In the hood it wasn't like that, it was doggy dog almost.
So going to that, I've had avery difficult teenage years.
(18:25):
Where it was, I was picked on.
Why do you talk like you'rewhite, why do you and it was one
of those almost didn't fit inbecause of that and didn't have
that community grasp always,always have it.
But it was almost that you'rethe cousin from a distant family
(18:47):
member feeling right, right,does that make sense?
I don't know.
But yeah, he family, but heain't like family, family, right
.
But, I always, always, stay withmy community, love my community
, and the thing that I neverlearned, which most of us don't,
(19:08):
is financial freedom, financialindependence, how to save money
.
What is an asset over aliability?
What are things that?
How do you build your communityup?
Why are we having to strugglewhen, in the suburbs, they're
taking care of their houses,they're taking care of their
neighbor's houses, they'retaking care of their home?
(19:32):
Values are going up, whilewe're still steady where we're
at.
So it was one of those.
Well, this is or going down orgoing down, right.
Candace Patrice (19:40):
Because another house is vacant.
Sean Lax (19:42):
The mentality for growing up for me was always
well, all right, well, if I geta dollar, this dollar is mine
until I give it to the next manand I pass it on.
And it's normally not somethingthat I'm buying that I know is
going to last me 10, 20 years,it's something that I'm going to
use right now and then it'sgone, it's extinguished.
(20:03):
Well, by the time.
It came in the military andgoing from not having money to,
oh, I get a paycheck every twoweeks To the club we go, yay,
about to hit the whatever thatlooks like, right.
So I always was check to check,check to check, check to check
(20:23):
for a very long time.
And then it became this thingof when I had to sit down and
say, hey, what are you planningon doing?
Because I've been doing thisfor now.
I joined the military at 18.
Right out of right out of highschool, that summer.
That summer, I joined themilitary right out of high
(20:45):
school and I didn't have a plan.
I didn't have anyone to say,hey, we're going to college.
It was a conversation, but itwasn't a conversation, right, it
wasn't what you're.
Candace Patrice (20:57):
It was a pass through.
Sean Lax (20:58):
Yes, it's a in one year, out the other.
Or oh, you about to graduate,cool, what you about to do, I
don't know.
All right, okay, that's whatwas not like my parents had the
money to be able to save up forme to go to college.
It's not like we had theconversation on places to go and
(21:19):
things like that.
I never took my ASVAD, nevernot, as I never took my SATs,
never took the ACTs, never gotany kind of preparation for, hey
, you're going into college.
So one day I'm sitting on thecouch and I'm watching TV and
see a commercial for themilitary and I'm thinking, oh
(21:42):
well, that's something.
And then I'm walking somewhereand I seen a recruiter's office
and I literally was like I'm notdoing anything, walked right in
, signed up that day and thatwas the.
That's how I progressed on totraveling the world, working on
a good degree, now owning homesin real estate.
(22:04):
So it changed.
That helped change myprojection, because now I say if
I did not make that step inthat door, I probably would have
been in a cell or a coffin,because that's where my life was
my mother and father, bothpastors, they're both religious.
(22:27):
However, the environment wewere in would have determined
where I would go.
I had to change the environment.
My mother and father changedthe environment as well, at 18,
that summer they decided to pickup and move to California 2000,
.
Moving to California.
(22:48):
Silicon Valley is booming.
It's one of those.
They went their way, but Istayed in St Louis.
I'm 18.
I'm going to do my own thing.
I decided to go into the AirForce.
It's been a blessing ever since.
Janet Hale (23:03):
I wanted to say I know, Candace, you're going to
jump in.
Candace Patrice (23:05):
No, I saw you writing so go for it.
Janet Hale (23:07):
Because when you were talking and I was thinking
as you were going and you wereprocessing things and I said,
you finally said yes to yourself.
Yes, that's what it soundedlike, and the other thing that
came to mind when you weretalking is that you were finding
out your worth.
Yes, in the process of all thethings that you've been through
(23:31):
I wrote a whole bunch of stuffdown, so I'm not going to write
them all.
Oh, when you mentioned thesurvivor mode and I thought
about how we often that's ourwhole life we're in survivor
mode.
I got to do this, I got to dothat, I got to do that and we
are doers instead of beingpeople.
You know what I mean?
You just get caught up in therat race, right?
So I thought about that.
(23:51):
And then when you talked aboutyour parents and how they were
trying to conceal thedevastation of the situation
from their children, and Iwonder how did that work for
them?
Because it sounds like you evenpicked up on something's not
right.
Candace Patrice (24:07):
I'm supposed to be asleep, but they're in there
bickering right, I'm supposedto be asleep, but they're in
there bickering.
So that, and before you answerthat, because I have a similar
thing that I wrote down, um, canyou also include the answer,
for do you think that um themnot concealing the information
would have helped?
Okay, go ahead.
Sean Lax (24:32):
So I think that they did their best for what they had
Right, and me and my motherhave had these conversations
multiple times over and youunderstand, everyone's life is
what it is, and even yourreality.
(24:52):
Right now we're talking, we'reseeing things differently even
while we're talking, right.
So, in their situation, for me,I was like I said, I was about
12 years old when all of thiswas happening.
So for me, I, at this point, amof the age of understanding.
(25:15):
So, even if they concealed itand tried to keep it to where we
as a family were a unit andstill prospering in their mind,
or for what the kids could see,I knew there was a change.
I knew there was a change,right.
But I went along with saidchange because my younger
(25:37):
sisters ages they were, theywere like two and eight at the
time they needed to be able tono, I'm sorry, I'm wrong, yeah,
two and five, five, six.
They needed to understand thatwe're still together, no one's
separate.
We're still moving.
So, myself, I believe that myparents did what they were
(26:01):
supposed to do.
Now, if it was one of thosewhere, um, if it was one of
(26:36):
those scenarios where theyneeded to divulge that
information fully.
No, I don't think they neededto do that because my mentality
would have changed into thatenvironment where they feel that
they have to now help orsupport in some manner, be it
whatever it is that can have amajor turn in that person's
development.
Right, don't get me wrong,hustle how you're supposed to
hustle, but for a child.
Hustle how you're supposed tohustle, but for a child.
Let a child be a child, right.
(26:56):
Let them grow and you mold asneed be To build a.
Hey, we're losing this.
Build that negativity thatcomes along with homelessness.
(27:23):
They didn't do that.
They kept it positive as bestthey could with the chaos that
was around us, because I canunderstand us going from where
we were and throwing us in thehood.
Multiple times I've thought whatdoes that scenario would have
looked like if now I'm in thehood?
Well, maybe I got to hustle, Igot to.
I got to sell drugs, I got todo.
It's the 90s, all the big right.
(27:45):
Now, right, I'm.
I'm pretty sure I can easily goon any corner in St Louis and
say, hey, I need to make somemoney, I need to make bread,
help me out At the age of 12, 13, 14, to be able to pass it
along to my parents.
Will my parents approve of that?
Absolutely not.
They're pastors.
They're not going to be like,yeah, my son's out here making
(28:09):
us no Right.
Going to be like, yeah, myson's out here making us no
Right, and then that would havecaused new conflicts and on top
of that they would have had tothen worry about will my son
come home tonight, which wouldhave been an added stress to the
already stressfulness of thesituation.
So no, I don't think them.
(28:30):
Divulging the full gambit ofthe information or what was
happening would have beenbeneficial, if that's the way to
look at it right.
Candace Patrice (28:40):
You mentioned that your sisters needed to know
that you were together.
Is that something you couldidentify when you were 12?
Or is that something inhindsight that you can identify
and see?
Sean Lax (28:55):
That's a hindsight thing, cause at the, at 12, I
was the same.
I was in the same boat as mychildren as not my children as
my sisters.
However, I could also seethings that they, as young as
they were, were not seeing.
So I saw both sides of the coin, as the child and as the
(29:15):
growing adult to be, and whatwas coming or what was happening
.
And now I know me.
I have a huge fear of beingbroke.
I have a huge fear of beinghomeless again or being in that
scenario.
Don't get me wrong.
(29:36):
I have been very close to beingthat.
Even while in the military, Iwas very close to being again
broke Very much.
Oh my goodness, because Ididn't know how to manage my
money and knowing that now it'sone of those, oh my goodness,
because I didn't know how to.
I didn't know how to manage mymoney.
(30:02):
And knowing that now it's one ofthose.
Candace Patrice (30:03):
Oh my God, I was putting myself back in the
same scenario when did you?
Sean Lax (30:08):
when did you learn the financial responsibility?
And I'm not great at that, soplease know I'm I'm not good at
financial responsibility yet,but I've.
I've adapted a lot of thingsthat make a lot more sense and
have made me at least not stressover finances.
But I didn't learn it until 36,when I read my first book on it
(30:38):
, which was Rich Dad, Poor DadAbsolutely fabulous book.
If you have not read it, by allmeans read it.
But it talks about real estateand it gets into that realm.
But then that led me down ahuge path of okay, well, I need
to start a portfolio of stocksand looking into insurance and
look at so different thingswhere you all right, shit, I
(31:00):
need to start a business somehow, I need to do this.
So all these different thingsnow are in my mind of you cannot
be stuck in just one window.
Janet Hale (31:11):
So when I was listening to you and we were
asking about the concealment,something beautiful came across
for me.
We asked you a question.
You automatically went intodefending your parents and I
thought, wow, listen to him.
You were like no, and theydidn't do anything wrong.
(31:31):
I said, ok, he's working thisout and you know.
And I listened to that and Ithought, hmm, because parents do
the best that we can, period,we give what we can give.
Period, period, period.
Sean Lax (31:48):
Because parents don't know what you know, because
parents don't know everythingeither.
Oh, trust me, I know that'tknow what you know because
parents don't know everythingeither.
Janet Hale (31:53):
Oh, trust me, I know that.
So you know, trust me.
And so we can have a wholenother podcast on that.
So, yeah.
So when I heard that, I thought, oh, okay, because that is the
truth when you say, whatever ithappened, however, it went down,
they did it the way they knewhow to do it and it was the best
thing for my parents anddealing with me and it worked
(32:15):
out.
Ok, that was cool.
The other thing this is frombefore we asked that question,
when you talked about we'retalking about growing up in the
hood and different things likethat I thought about this.
I thought about the scarcitymindset and the mindset of
abundance because, like you said, getting that check every two
(32:36):
weeks, you know I got a check.
You know I don't know how muchit is, but you know it's enough.
I can pay my rent, rent, rent,I can pay my rent.
I can pay the lease on my car.
Right, I can buy me the Gucci'sand the this and the that.
Gucci's a stretch.
No no no, they will save up themoney, put it over anywhere,
(32:58):
whoever the big designers.
And then the abundance mindsetis the mindset, in my opinion,
of responsibility.
You know what I mean.
Like you talked about buyingversus renting, and when we take
a look at that, it makes sense.
(33:20):
Not everyone can at the time,you know, whoever you know,
depending on their situation,but it makes more sense.
And I think about how high therent is right now.
And it's rent is high.
Somebody told me the rent.
I thought they were kidding.
I was like no, that can't betrue.
And I went and called somebodyand they were like that's true.
And then I look at what a housenote is compared to what rent
(33:45):
is.
So I think the abundance way ofthinking is that we're wiser
and how we spend our money,whether we have a lot or a
little.
You know what I mean.
So I kind of went off track.
But yeah, okay, audience, I'mback.
Candace Patrice (34:05):
Well, I wanted to kind of tap into something.
I wanted to kind of tap ontosomething.
And how do you, what advicewould you give to someone who is
struggling with homelessnessright now to be able to stay in
a mindset to get through?
(34:25):
Because I know it can be reallydifficult.
You can't tell when the end iscoming and in that moment it
just it feels low.
I could, I would imagine itfeels low because I haven't been
homeless, right?
Sean Lax (34:47):
my advice would be be humble, and I say that in a
sense of you have to humbleyourself.
A lot of times, most people andmost people try to stick with
their ego and say, oh, I coulddo it, I can get through it, or
(35:08):
I'll stay in it because there'sno other way out.
This is just what it is.
But humble yourself, ask forthe help from your family, from
your friends, from yourcommunity, from somebody.
Hey, can I wash your car for 10bucks?
You ain't got to go crazy.
Just be humble about it.
(35:29):
Right, and ideally, it willeventually work itself out,
because it worked itself out formy family.
Right, my mother and fatherdecided, hey, we have to let
this house go that they wereliving in.
We had to let it go.
We they humbled themselves andthey asked my grandmother hey,
(35:55):
can we move back in?
All five of us moved back inthe house.
Can we make it work?
We're struggling and from thatstruggle we learned.
And my mom you know what theysay from the bootstraps right,
my mom did.
Right, she was like all rightwhen she grind to find a better
(36:17):
job.
My dad did the same thing.
He was doing odd jobs left andright, which is very humbling.
But you also, from myperspective, for my parents'
sake, I could see that was thatgrind.
But that's what we always are,right as a community, as a black
, as a culture, we always grind.
(36:37):
We always are trying to betteruntil it's somehow taken away
from us.
But we're always grinding andthey grind until we got to a
better place and they, withinwithin about two years, we were
in a better place, had our ownplace again.
(36:59):
We were still renting becausewe we had the uh foreclosures on
the record now that had to beexpunged over time.
Uh, and they have their ownfears too, and we've talked
through those as well about likebuying again and doing certain
things.
But it's one of those wherethey still grow.
(37:19):
They did their part to get thefamily out of the muck.
It's a lot easier to do whenyou're single.
You can do that with the familymaybe a little bit tougher, but
you can still humble yourselfand grind and just save what.
You can put it where it needsto go.
Don't waste and that's somethingthat I had to learn, even as an
(37:43):
adult, is don't waste.
We waste so much on frivolousthings that is not even needed,
right, we spend money on clothesthat we don't need to spend
money on.
Constantly and I'm I'm guiltyof that even to this day I see a
pair of shoes and be like, ooh,I really like these.
I'm going to spend money onshoes, knowing I got 50 million
(38:05):
shoes that I probably will orwon't wear, but I like it
because I want it as acollective.
Ideally, though, we need to bemore mindful of how we do things
and how we move, how we spendmoney, how we, how we grow as a
community, because there'sthere's many, many, many
different programs out therethat are available to everybody,
(38:28):
and you just have to goresearch it, just have to go
find it.
The best knowledge is theknowledge of of better that's
available for you.
Everything is free, not oftenjust social media.
Go to a library, read a bookand learn something.
It's free, it's there, just doit.
Candace Patrice (38:47):
I have a question, because that's what I
do.
I have questions.
Um, so you, your lower pointsof your life.
(39:08):
How long did that experienceaffect your mental health and
are you through it now?
And, if so, what was thecatalyst that helped change that
state of mind to a better stateof mind?
Sean Lax (39:23):
I don't ever think you're through it or done with
it, because it is part of you.
Everything in your life, fromthe time you're born all the way
to now, is a part of you.
You.
Everything that you've done hasbuilt and created who you are
now.
However, you don't have todwell in it.
(39:46):
There's the difference.
If you dwell in it, that's justyou not working through it,
because you are the betterperson you are, the bigger you
are the one that is able to stepout of that if you need to,
when you need to.
(40:09):
There have been many times whereI've had very, very low points,
very, very low points.
However, what has always keptme grounded is the idea of what
would happen if I was not here.
(40:30):
How would others feel if Iwasn't here?
How would others feel if Iwasn't here?
And that's always kept me heregrounded, not the fact of it
feels selfish to take.
That makes sense without sayingthat it sounds selfish.
(40:55):
Ideally, if you're going througha rough patch, talk to your
people.
There's always someone that'swilling to listen and mental is
your thing, but there may besomebody else that has gone
through it and has workedthrough it, or somebody that you
can go back and forth and talkabout it.
Just get involved, right,somebody that you can go back
(41:17):
and forth and talk about it.
Just get it right.
If you hold it, you're going todwell on it and it's just going
to keep you in that state ofmind constantly and it's just
going to beat on you over andover again and you're having an
internal war that you don't needto have.
You don't have to have it.
The more you project it and youlet it out, the easier your
(41:39):
soul feels, your inner feels.
You ever get that rumble inyour stomach and you're like, oh
my God, I'm so tense, scream,let it out, just get it out of
you.
And the more you do that, thebetter you'll feel.
And then, if you need to talkto somebody, do it.
And then, if you need to talkto somebody, do it.
(42:00):
I know in our community we areones that don't take advantage
of therapy, counseling, healing.
We don't take advantage of it.
Why?
Because we don't know it.
We're so stuck in this mindsetof we got it hard all the time,
when we don't have to be, bevulnerable.
Sometimes it's needed,sometimes it's just needed.
Okay, what you got, janet.
Janet Hale (42:25):
You see me.
I want to go back to thehomeless conversation Because I
was listening to you aboutwhat's out there.
There's programs out here thathelps pull yourself up by your
bootstraps.
You said to be humble, watchhow you spend money and I
(42:46):
thought, wow, if someone ishomeless listening to this, I
would want to speak to that andI would say this that I
understand that sometimes thereis no support system for you.
I understand that sometimes youdon't have boots to pull straps
from.
(43:06):
I understand that there areprograms out there that they say
they're going to help you andwhen you go for them you're on a
wait list for two years.
I would say I understand thatyou are already humbled and
humiliated.
I would say that there is spacefor you and it's a space of
(43:32):
compassion, of understanding.
It's a space of compassion, ofunderstanding and to hope that
things can turn around for you,because I know sometimes being
(43:54):
homeless or unhoused is whatthey're saying now is not the
same for everyone.
It depends on their situationand I've seen firsthand folks
who are unhoused or homelessstruggling through the system
that's supposed to help them andthe help really isn't there.
I mean they could say you know,we have this and we have that,
(44:17):
and then when they go for thesupport, it is not there.
And then I wanted to go to thetherapy part, and you're talking
about our community and I thinkthat's the paradigm has shifted
.
We are all in therapy, or withthe coach or a close friend you
know what I mean, because noteverybody can afford therapy.
So maybe an elder that you cango to and talk to, to kind of
(44:41):
you know, filter things out.
I just think that that thatparadigm is shifting.
As far as our community andtherapy, or even if the therapy
is the barbershop or the beautyshop or your best friend or your
grandmother or your auntie oryour uncle, or the beauty shop,
or your best friend or yourgrandmother or your auntie or
your uncle I'm just puttingthose things out there for folks
(45:02):
who are listening and you knowto offer up, you know, some
resources that does not costmoney, that it's available and
it's always pretty much beenavailable.
Now women black, the blackwomen have usually like look, I
gotta talk to my mama, I gottatalk to my grandma, I need to
(45:24):
know what's going on.
You know what I mean.
Like we have been kind of in it, like they're talking to
somebody.
Okay, probably talking too muchsometimes, but we're talking um
.
And then for our Black brothersI get that they were slow to
the party, but I'm hearing moreand more that they are arriving.
Candace Patrice (45:42):
They were halted to the party.
Janet Hale (45:45):
They were halted.
Yeah, yeah, I just wanted tospeak to that and speaking to
those who may be listening thatare in that particular situation
.
Candace Patrice (46:03):
Was it something that you you look like
?
You wanted to respond a coupleof times, sean.
Sean Lax (46:08):
No, I was on complete agreeance with you in the past,
I would say four years.
Uh, therapy and counseling andthings of that nature have
become more prevalent with theidea that, hey, like we do need
to get out of the mindset of, wedo have to get out of the
(46:31):
mindset of being in survivalmode, being in fight or flight
mode and get more into avulnerable state.
But that is, and I completelyagree that black men have
absolutely a bad deal of growingand being something separate
(46:55):
than what we've been programmedto be, and I say programmed
because of media and thestereotypes and all the
different things that have kindof held black men back in that
mentality.
But you're very true, in thestate of our pseudo therapies,
(47:21):
as in our church communities,our hospitals not hospitals, but
our barbershops, our hairsalons, girls nights whatever
game nights, things like thatwhere we just those simple
building of camaraderiedefinitely helps when it comes
(47:45):
to resiliency and building thatstate of knowing that you're
still one Ideally right.
Candace Patrice (47:59):
But yeah, that's all I had to say.
Thank you, yes, thank you.
Thank you, sean.
We are going to wrap up.
One, of course if you or anyoneyou know is struggling and need
assistance, you can call theNational Suicide Prevention
Lifeline at 988 or text at 988.
I want to give you guys just anopportunity to say any last
(48:22):
words to the guest, any lastadvice, anything that could
assist them on this journeycalled life, in whatever area
that they are in, because we areall on our own path, no matter
whether it looks like someoneelse's path or not.
It is an individual journey.
So I want to just let you guyshave any closing remarks.
Janet Hale (48:49):
Okay, sean, I just wanted to say thank you for
showing up and being in thisspace with us and thank you for
the gems that you dropped for us, and especially being a black
man and being able to speak tothe things that you spoke to, I
think is very important.
(49:09):
So thank you so much.
Sean Lax (49:21):
Also, Sean, give us your real estate information so
that anybody who's seekingproperty can give you a call in
the Michigan area.
Absolutely, absolutely.
So I appreciate you having meon your show.
I know, candice, when we talked.
I know we've been trying to getthis coordinated for a while,
so I truly appreciate you givingme the space to speak, uh, at
least about my little stand inmy life.
Um, cause there's multipletimes where I just feel like I
(49:41):
need to get it out like this.
And uh, to all the guests thatare listening um, by all means,
you got this.
You are amazing.
You are awesome.
Uh, don't give up.
You have somebody, anybody andeverybody to talk to.
(50:02):
If not, give me a call.
Eight, five zero, I'm sorry,eight, what?
I can't even figure out my ownnumber.
Oh, eight, one zero.
Two, five, five, four, three,three, zero, um.
And if it's just to say hello,oh, 810-255-4330.
And if it's just to say hello,by all means do that.
But you can also reach me therefor any real estate advice, as
(50:26):
well as you can hit me at any ofmy social medias.
I am also.
I'll make sure Candice has allmy links and she can put it in
the bio or in the comments below.
But you can do anything.
Your world is your world.
We're just living in it.
Please know we enjoy this.
Candace Patrice (51:00):
I'd also like to just remind everyone that,
again, no matter where you arein life, if you continue to live
life, you'll experience adifferent part of it.
Some of them are going to beextreme highs.
Some of them may be what youconsider extreme lows, because
we all have differentexperiences and outlooks, and
our mindset is one of thegreatest things that help us get
through our situations.
So continue to feed yourselfthe information that is healthy
(51:26):
for you.
We talked about gut health in aprevious episode, so you know,
get your gut healthy.
Feed yourself the informationthat you want to learn the
places that you want to go.
Listen to those people who canfeed you If someone has a
similar story, not that you haveto follow their same path, but
(51:49):
to know, hey, I'll get throughthis, you will get through
whatever it is.
Just stay in the game, stay inlife.
I believe that God will pushyou and put you in the places
you need to be in and that thejourney that you are on is very
intentional for your own purpose.
So look for the lessons in thetrials and tribulations that you
(52:16):
go through, figure out what itis that triggers you and work on
ways to get through thosetriggers and if something
doesn't work, try something else.
It's okay to change it up.
It's okay to say that didn'twork for me, it worked for you,
it did not work for me.
(52:37):
So find what works for you.
Just don't give up.
At the end of the day, don'tgive up.
Get you the coach, get you thetherapist, get you the safe
friend.
Yeah, that's my little spiel.
Thank you, sean, for being here.
Thank you for being vulnerable,thank you for being a black man
who is willing to heal himselfand share his journey with
others.
So, okay, that was a long exit.
(52:59):
So you guys can also find me atEssential Motivation
CandicePatrice underscore EM onInstagram,
essentialmotivationcom.
You can email me,candicefleming, at
EssentialMotivationcom.
If you want to be a guest.
Please send us an email, pleasesend us feedback, please like,
(53:20):
share, subscribe all of thewonderful things and remember to
always love hard, forgive oftenand laugh frequent.
Bye, guys, bye-bye.
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