December 19, 2024 • 53 mins
It's Therapy Thursday!
We explore the transformative power of decluttering both physical and mental spaces and how they create room for new opportunities and joy. By integrating love and reciprocity into our daily lives, we redefine work as a fulfilling expression of our true selves.
- Discusses the importance of maintaining a decluttered space to enhance reception of new opportunities
- Explores the connection between giving and receiving in life, emphasizing reciprocity
- Considers redefining work through a lens of joy and purpose instead of obligation
- Shares personal anecdotes about love, family, and connections that enrich life's journey
- Highlights the significance of living authentically and listening to one's inner feelings
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can call or text 988 with the suicide prevention lifeline, seven days a week.
Host Candace Fleming
Co-host Janet Hale
visit the website at https://www.essentialmotivation.com/
visit the store at https://shopessentialmotivation.com/
Instagram instagram.com/essentialmotivationllc
visit Janet's website https://haleempowermentllc.com/
To be a guest on our show email me at candacefleming@essentialmotivation.com
In the subject line put EMH Guest
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 988
Music by Lukrembo: https://soundcloud.com/lukrembo
Provided by Knowledge Base: https://bit.ly/2BdvqzN
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Candace Patrice (00:05):
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healingwhere I am your host, Candace
Patrice.
I keep saying Candace Fleming,but I am reinventing to Candace
Patrice, to Candace Patrice.
So yes, your host CandacePatrice, and my lovely co-host
(00:28):
Janet Hale.
Janet Hale (00:31):
Thank you very much.
But since we're reinventingHippie, Mama is just fine.
I love that.
Candace Patrice (00:37):
Oh hello.
Janet Hale (00:38):
Hippie Mom let's do it.
Candace Patrice (00:42):
Let's reinvent today.
How are you doing today?
I'm doing good, Candace.
How are you.
I'm good, I'm well.
I'm starting my morning.
You know, today I have somecleaning to do, but all I really
want to do is lay.
So I think, after I finish mymorning meetings and things, I'm
(01:03):
going to pick an hour maybe tojust I don't know, I might be
making it up.
I really want to clean up.
So it's going well.
So I'm going to sip on thiscoffee, get this energy and then
get this energy and clean.
I think I'm going to do that.
(01:25):
That sounds beautiful.
Once I finish the cleaningprocess, I think the world will
open up to me to receive more,but I have to clear space for it
, I know right.
Janet Hale (01:43):
You know I meant the words right.
May I tell you how I receivedthe words right Mm-hmm.
So may I tell you how Ireceived that Is that I have the
opportunity to create space.
Candace Patrice (01:55):
That's beautiful.
Janet Hale (01:56):
That's all, because that's what I heard.
Candace Patrice (01:59):
I know you said different words, but I thought
Mm-hmm, because in my mind Ihear that and I'm like dang.
But if I got the opportunity toclear space, that means at some
point I had too much stuff.
I want to prevent thisopportunity a little bit to
clear, and it already be clear,so I keep things coming and
going as needed.
(02:19):
Yeah people are listening tothis.
Janet Hale (02:22):
People are listening to this.
This is funny.
Candace Patrice (02:46):
Well, I sure hope it encouraged someone to
keep things decluttered andclean and receiving what the
world is coming to bring them,you know which, I guess, is
really brings us to a very quickintroduction to our topic.
How about that which is livingmy life can't become a job.
And oh my goodness, thank you,holy Spirit, all right, so,
listen, amen, listen, listen,listen, so, listen, listen,
(03:16):
listen, listen.
Because when you have too muchstuff in your space, right, you
can't receive more, or you can,but it may not be where it
should be and you're not able toutilize it to its fullest
potential.
But when you continuously workto get rid of the things that no
longer serve you, you thenbring in the things that do
serve you and you can do itquicker.
And it doesn't become a job toget things decluttered, because
(03:36):
you're consistently living,you're consistently working at
the things, working at thethings.
So, for instance, let's justsay I have documents that I
wanted to keep because I justthink, oh, what if I need this?
Or I have a couch that I knewwas sturdy and I bought it so it
(04:01):
could last 25 years.
But really I should be changingthings over and getting
something new, something that Icould have received, but I was
too busy holding on to somethingelse.
But then it becomes a timewhere it's oh, I've got to clean
these papers, I've got to get anew couch, I've got to do this
(04:21):
and I've got to do that, andI've got to clean the kitchen,
I've got to organize the closet.
Once all of that stuff buildsup, it becomes a job Opposed to
oh, let me put things where theybelong.
Every now and then, let me gothrough this area and get rid of
what I don't need.
Oh, let me see what I do need.
Now, when you hear something,let's say you're out in the
(04:49):
world and someone goes hey, doyou know anybody who needs an X,
y and Z?
You know that you've beenthrough your things and, hey,
this is a blessing for you andit's actually I do.
But it's that whole idea ofthings, of keeping them
reciprocal, keeping them going,or maybe you have something and
you can share it with someoneelse and your things become
someone else's treasure.
One man's trash becomes anotherman's treasure.
(05:10):
And not only that as you giveand someone else receives, then
it brings a level of joy becauseyou're giving back unto the
world, ready to receivesomething else, whatever it is,
without expectation, because theworld is granting you these
things.
They say you get what you give.
(05:31):
So if you're constantly givingin the world, you're constantly
receiving maybe not the sameobjects or time or energy or
whatever it is but it will comeback and generally it comes back
bigger and better.
But I'm learning that you can'texpect it to come back bigger
(05:55):
and better because you'll bewaiting for something to show up
in one area when it wassupposed to present itself in
another area and you'reconstantly looking and seeking,
which means you can't receivewhat's for you because you're
already closed-minded whenyou're looking and expecting
something.
You know what I say.
When you manifest things, getout your own way, lean out on
(06:21):
your own understanding, becauseyou create these boundaries in
your own understanding, theseboundaries of what big is, these
boundaries of what you can do.
But when you get, when you takethose boundaries out, like I
like to say, if I can, just Iwant to reach one person.
If I'm consistently reachingone person, then maybe I talk to
(06:42):
five people a day.
If I'm consistently reachingthose five people a day, then
I'm reaching 35 people a week.
But making impactful connectionsand doing that is a part of
living this free life, this lifethat is not a job.
(07:06):
Life is not a job.
Your work doesn't have to be ajob or doesn't have to feel like
a job, because you're puttingout the work into the world to
make the world a better place.
You have a skill that you canutilize somewhere in the world
to make it better, and whenwe're utilizing our skills to
(07:32):
make the world better, it's nolonger a job.
Now we're living our life andthey say faith without works is
dead, or someone who doesn'tearn a wage for or doesn't work
for a living can't eat, andworking doesn't necessarily mean
(07:54):
showing up at a job.
Working is putting in the workinto the world that we're here
to make better, to bring ourskills to that space and place.
All right, that's enoughpreaching for the day.
Janet Hale (08:09):
Yeah, I love it, I love it.
Candace Patrice (08:12):
That's my take on living life to not be a job.
Janet Hale (08:17):
I love it and and so for me, the way I perceive it
and receive it is that I don'twant anything to be a job for me
, and what I mean by that is thehippie mom, because we redefine
things around here.
(08:37):
She enjoys being who she is inthe space that I'm in, being who
she is in the space that I'm in, and so even when I go to a
place that's considered whereI'm employed, I don't even go in
there like it's a job.
I'm like hippie mom has arrived.
Yeah, Dennis is in the houseand it's living my life in that
(09:03):
manner.
And when you talk about how wegive and then we receive it back
, and I know for me and I'm sograteful for this I don't look
for a return.
Candace Patrice (09:17):
I don't think you do either.
Janet Hale (09:18):
I don't look for a return.
But, man, the returns bepopping up.
I'll be like I call you all thetime on some stuff.
I'll be like Candace, guesswhat just happened.
And so my life period is living.
My life is about experiences.
It's connection with people.
(09:40):
Basically is the main part beingpeaceful, and there are times
that I'm just here by myself andfeel peaceful and some might
say, oh God, that's such alonely place to be.
There's a lonely moment or two,but for the most part it's a
peaceful, tranquil place for me.
(10:01):
So you know, I've always notalways, but for the most part
place for me.
I've always not always, but forthe most part have always lived
in this hippie mindset of lifeis beautiful.
What can we do?
What can I do?
Something keeps showing up andit's painful.
Then what's the lesson in it?
I feel that kind of thing.
(10:22):
Something occurred and I don'tthink that I shared this with
you, but I got a text and I kindof stopped communicating with a
few people.
Mind was clever, so clever inhow they communicated, and this
(10:54):
was so simple.
I might be giving out something, but that's okay.
That's what this is about.
This is what this is about.
The text said I love you.
Candace Patrice (11:09):
Boom that's it, that's the message.
Boom, I said and the greatestof these things is, wait a
minute wait.
Janet Hale (11:16):
I looked at it and went okay, that deserve a
response, because I usuallydon't.
I was like I love you too.
Aww, you follow where I'm goingwith this, like no, I wasn't
expecting that because you know,for whatever reason.
But the whole thing is, it wasjust those few words.
Oh, you know, there's a songthese three words I do love you.
(11:42):
Yeah, I don't know that song.
Yeah, anyways, yeah, so anyway,and I found that to be quite
awesome.
Candace Patrice (11:44):
I do love you.
Janet Hale (11:44):
Yeah, anyways and I found that to be quite awesome.
I received a text from someoneand she said I don't want to ask
you, but would you?
And I said, well, of course, Iwill participate you.
(12:05):
And I said, well, of course, Iwill participate and send the
video, of course.
Candace Patrice (12:11):
I will.
Janet Hale (12:13):
And then this morning I sent a second one with
the compliment of that personand I thought, wow, just that
part about you saying being opento the process of whatever that
is.
See, it don't have to look acertain kind of way because I
(12:33):
don't know what kind of way it'scoming, and I'm okay with that.
I'm really okay with that.
I'm okay with being out lastnight in zero degree weather,
out at the wrong school, findingthe right school and hanging
out with Sugar Baby and her mom,my daughter, dominique, my
(13:01):
other daughter, or what is she?
Candace who?
Dominique?
Oh, she's something to me,she's a sweetheart and just
enjoying that.
It's like okay, everybody know,jaina, don't get out, I don't
get out like that, but for thatit was like okay, there's a
purpose in this thing.
Right here, let me get ready,let me fill up the tank, let me
(13:27):
do all the things to be in thisthing.
Right here, let me get ready,let me fill up the tank, let me
do all the things to be in thisspace to enjoy this moment,
because I'm here and I'm able tobe a part of it.
It's beautiful.
Candace Patrice (13:40):
When you were talking, you said that you
wanted that you get a return ofliving life.
That is exactly what it is areturn, and it's been
conceptualized as a job, as apaycheck the return on
(14:04):
investment, but the return onliving your life to the best of
(14:40):
your ability as a good person,being kind, showing love, having
peace, doing all of the thingsthat.
There is no law against anykind of resource, whatever that
resource is, where you can gointo the grocery store and say,
hey, miss Johnson, I just need17 peppers for the week.
And she give you 17 peppers andyou say to Miss Johnson oh, and
(15:02):
I'll bring your olive oil later, because it's a reciprocal
thing, it's what one personneeds versus what another person
needs.
No, the value doesn't need toequal the same, but the value is
actually in I have what youneed and you have what I need.
Therefore, if we can meet eachother needs, then we have we
(15:28):
have successfully created thisreturn on living life.
Janet Hale (15:33):
So did we talk about the pies last podcast?
The pies, sweet potato pies, Iknow no, okay, okay, anybody.
Candace has a hippie mama doingsweet potato pies.
She called me on demand.
(15:53):
I'm like, oh, I got to makethese pies.
She mentioned the pies.
Candace Patrice (15:58):
When you say call on demand, it's still on
the table.
Janet Hale (16:03):
You told me I wasn't off duty.
She came over, got the recipe,she filmed it.
I thought, oh, this is the end.
Okay, she's like, that doesn'tmean you're off duty I said oh
really, so no, I guess I stillget the call.
Candace Patrice (16:15):
So but wait, you said on demand.
How on demand is this?
Janet Hale (16:20):
I'm about to.
I'm gonna tell the audience thestory, but am I still on demand
?
I'm going to tell the story andthen they'll answer it for you.
Candace Patrice (16:30):
But I can put these requests in at any season
of the year.
Janet Hale (16:34):
Anyway.
Candace Patrice (16:35):
Because I need to know when I can put a new
request in.
Janet Hale (16:39):
Okay, so Thanksgiving around that time,
she wanted sweet potato pies andI have a niece.
Whenever I make them, you knowI say, okay, you got to take
them over to her because thesetwo will double team me on these
pies.
Okay.
So I did that.
But I remember when she'stalking about the giving, that's
the part I wanted to get toabout the pies.
(17:00):
And I remember, as I was makingthe pies and I was talking to
my girlfriend about this and Isaid, you know, christmas is a
thing people do a lot of giftgiving and things of that nature
.
And I said with my childrenI've not had that.
Uh, not to knock those who dothis, but I did not have that.
(17:20):
I had to buy the $300 gym shoes.
I.
I remember when that was athing, folks was like I was like
the whole rent money went onthose shoes.
But that's okay, that's how youdo what you do.
I never had that.
So for me it was showing up inlove in the best way.
I knew how, not that, I wasalways great at it.
So these pies.
So I go and get the ingredientsand I take a picture of the
(17:44):
ingredients and I text them thecandidates, like I got the
ingredients.
I don't know when I'll makethem, but I got the ingredients.
So I'm like, okay.
So one day I was sitting hereand I said let me get up and
make these pies and as I madethe pies, you guys, there was so
much love that I put into thosepies.
I was like I was feeling myancestors.
(18:07):
You guys, I know that mightsound a little weird I don't
care, but I was doing it I waslike no, we don't use
measurements, I don't just doany of that, I just do it.
And I was like, yes, just do it.
And there was so much love onmy eyes.
I put so much love in thosepies.
I put so much love in thosepies.
I felt the love in them.
Pies, I hope you ate a piece ofthe love in the pie Me, a piece
(18:30):
A piece.
Oh, that's right, half the piewas gone for your life.
So, anyway, because you can'tpick up the pie, anyway, but the
return of that, it was a returnto you for what you have given
to me.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And the thing is the love part,because it doesn't have to be a
(18:52):
material thing.
Candace Patrice (18:54):
Right.
Janet Hale (18:54):
It's the love.
Candace Patrice (18:56):
It's the love it might be opening your door to
somebody.
Oh, it's the love.
Janet Hale (19:02):
It's the whole thing of mine.
Candace Patrice (19:07):
Did you?
Janet Hale (19:08):
get the mat, did I say?
I said what, man?
I thought I know what that was.
I brought it in the house.
Well, I wanted to exchange yourmat because I need a new mat by
the side, or whatever.
Candace Patrice (19:17):
I didn't put it up yet but anyway, but I but
she did and I was gonna put itup.
Oh, that was a whole notherstory.
Janet Hale (19:23):
You have a key, you have a key.
You didn't know but you have akey.
Candace Patrice (19:27):
I know, but you weren't home.
It was after church and I hadsome things to do and I was like
, well, if I can't see her thistime.
I'm going to have to go dothese other things, but it was a
Sunday.
You were taking a class.
Janet Hale (19:45):
Oh, okay, yeah, thank you.
I speak of the pies and thelove that went into it.
I remember feeling love withevery ingredient I put in it,
every time I pushed the mixer,whatever you call it, it was
just love, love, I was feelingit.
I was in that kitchen doing.
I was just, oh, I was feelingit.
I was in that kitchen.
(20:05):
I said, yeah, this is all kindof love going into this.
Yes, let's do this thing, didit, baked them, put them out.
She took a couple days to gethere.
That's okay Because I knowshe's busy.
Candace Patrice (20:17):
You took a couple days.
Janet Hale (20:18):
You didn't come that day oh.
Candace Patrice (20:20):
I came the next day?
Janet Hale (20:21):
Was it the next day?
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, I'm sorry, Okay so she came.
But I say all that to say thisyou know, in doing that was my
giving of my love to you, orshowing up, or my love showing
(20:44):
up for you, and it felt good.
Candace Patrice (20:48):
Like it feels good it tasted good too.
I'm glad it felt good in mymouth, in my throat in my belly
I felt good coming out.
Well, you know, do they need toknow all that?
Anyway, hey, in my belly I feltgood coming out.
Janet Hale (20:59):
Do they need to know all that?
Anyway, living my life cannotbe a job.
It is not.
It's a joyful place to be.
Life for me is an experience.
Everybody know I'm notreligious, but I do believe that
(21:20):
we're human, living in a body,having spiritual experiences,
and I do believe that I do.
I really do.
Candace Patrice (21:33):
Oh, go ahead.
Janet Hale (21:33):
You know, what?
Candace Patrice (21:35):
When I hear you talk about putting love in
everything, and now thisspiritual creation and
connection with love, I wouldjust like to enter my spiritual
connection of love with 1Corinthians 13, verse 13.
And now these three remainfaith, hope and love.
(21:57):
But the greatest of these islove, and the second one being
John 13, 34 through 35, a newcommand I give you love one
another as I had loved you.
So you must love, so you mustlove one another.
By this, everyone will knowthat you are my disciples If you
love one another.
Love, love, love, love, love,love.
The greatest command is love.
(22:19):
Of all of the commands, of allof the things, is love Loving
thy neighbor.
It's just when I hear yousaying I felt love, I felt love,
I felt love.
You put the greatest ingredientof all things into the pie.
Janet Hale (22:37):
I did.
Candace Patrice (22:44):
And it also and okay, guys, I'm on this whole
journey.
Janet Hale (22:46):
Okay, so my whole faith, you'll hear it coming up,
I got to go to church everytime.
Candace Patrice (22:50):
So much more, and it's because of what I'm
learning and how to live life asa good person.
Ultimately, I want to be ableto give out so much love, so
much light, to bring joy to theworld.
I wrote something down maybe ayear ago and it says something
(23:14):
like I'm going to change theworld, I'm going to change your
mindset, I'm going to make youbelieve.
I forgot what it was.
It was something about that,but it was all on the idea of
teaching and sharing with peoplehow to live a life of love and
(23:34):
how I want to have influence inthe world to be able to create
that.
And as an influencer, we areteachers.
Right, it makes us, accordingto the Bible, the third highest
(24:05):
in the ranks, because we haveour apostles, we have disciples
and then we have teachers.
It says, and God has placed inthe church first of all,
apostles, second, prophets andthird, teachers.
And teachers are people whoeducate people in different
(24:45):
areas, right?
So as coaches, we teach peoplehow to live a life of freedom, a
life of positivity a life oflove, a life of productivity a
life without shame, a lifewithout fear.
We are doing our best to teachthem to live an abundant life,
feel with whatever it is thatthey're supposed to have in the
universe, believing that theworld is conspiring with you and
not against you.
So it is a great duty and agreat job.
(25:06):
That is not a job because we'reliving the life to teach love.
So not only are we spreadinglove, but we're doing one of the
greatest jobs.
Janet Hale (25:21):
I like that yeah.
Candace Patrice (25:22):
So we're taking the greatest job to teach the
greatest thing.
Ain't that deep.
I know I had to bring it.
I created a forest for you.
Janet Hale (25:31):
No, you did, and that's okay because you know
mama love a forest.
And when I heard and I'mlistening, I'm looking at you.
They don't know, you know,y'all know we can see each other
and I'm listening to you talkabout the things that you're
talking about and how you'regrowing into you know learning
different things, and these areall the things that I've seen in
(25:51):
you period.
Candace Patrice (25:54):
Thank you.
Janet Hale (25:55):
And so and I understand you're going through,
you know you're on another, youknow journey in your life and
and when I listen to you and andyou, you read out the bible,
some things that and I'm like,yeah, I agree with that.
Even though I'm not religious,I still agree with that.
However, I want to say thoseare things that I've seen you
(26:16):
live before you started pickingup the Bible, reading scriptures
.
Candace Patrice (26:21):
Does that make?
Janet Hale (26:21):
sense.
Yeah, absolutely Like you wereliving in my.
From what I know, and thepeople that know you, I think
would agree that that is whoyou've been.
Candace Patrice (26:33):
It makes it a lot easier to try to walk the
talk.
So, even though I mean I hearyou saying if I was walking it,
but let me say this tostrengthen the muscle.
Janet Hale (26:47):
There you go.
I'll go with that, thank you.
Candace Patrice (26:51):
And you know we look at lifting muscles as
going to the gym, but we have tostrengthen ourselves in all
areas and I guess it's reallydiscipline.
So it's because the disciplineto strengthen ourselves mentally
(27:12):
, emotionally, physically,spiritually, financially, like
there are so many areas thatneed strengthening, go ahead.
Janet Hale (27:21):
Because what I want to talk, what I want to say, is
kind of off topic and you knowI'm going to be going off the
script.
I'm sure we'll bring it back,go ahead, okay Is you know?
We're in the holiday season andso I just think it's important
during the season that we speakto that a little bit, because
sometimes this time of year isnot where people are living in
(27:44):
gratitude, they're living inmourning.
Candace Patrice (27:47):
Yeah, and so.
Janet Hale (27:48):
I want to acknowledge them in this moment,
right now.
Candace Patrice (27:51):
Yeah.
Janet Hale (27:52):
And say there have been moments where I lived in
mourning and had to work my wayout.
So I didn't just arrive here inthis moment, like there was
work that had to get me here andI had to be open and receptive
to the work, to ask for the helpthat I needed to get me to this
(28:14):
place.
So I want to speak to thosepeople who are probably sitting
saying oh, they over theretalking and laughing.
Yeah, we do.
We be laughing and talking.
Yeah, we do.
But, boy, the journey yes, ooh,that journey, yeah, that journey
of losing my son in 2016.
Yeah, because he was shot six,five times in his chest.
(28:37):
I think it was six, five or six.
One was too damn many.
Excuse me for cussing amen tothe people.
That was too many, but what I'msaying, I say all that to say
to those who are in this seasonand you feel like there's no
hope.
There's hope.
We are evidence of the hopethat comes, and you feel like
(28:59):
there's no hope.
There's hope.
We are evidence of the hopethat comes, the laughter that
comes.
Baby, you got to go through itto get through it, and that's
what we're here for.
We're here to help you in thebest way we know how.
Or, like Candice, had theresources to get you to where
you need to go.
Or talking about the coachingto be coached into getting you
(29:21):
through from one moment to thenext moment, or even in the
coaching, saying you know whatcoaching is fine.
However, perhaps you need um.
Have you considered more help?
Candace Patrice (29:32):
in this area.
Janet Hale (29:34):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying so yeah, so yeah, we
having a good time and life is.
Candace Patrice (29:40):
You know, I'm you know I'm good, you know what
I'm saying.
I'll be like yo.
Janet Hale (29:43):
I'm having a good old time I was at an event.
I don't drink, you guys, but Iwas having some mocktails and
everybody didn't everybodypeople that didn't know that I
was, that I was lit up, becauseI'm always lit up that part.
Yeah, I'm always lit up, I'm allyou know.
I'm having a great time.
So, you know, for those of youwho are going through a time
(30:06):
where there's one less person atyour table, or the matriarch or
the uh, is it patriarch, theguy?
So I'm a hundred to women youknow what women do.
I can't help you right so um oror that auntie or whoever is no
longer around, or even ifsomeone in the family has put
(30:29):
distance between themselves andthe family.
I understand that sometimespeople put distance not because
of them, but because they needit yeah you know.
So this whole thing called life,it's, it's, it's different for
all of us.
It's different for all of us.
(30:49):
However, I I just wanted tospeak to you, to the audience
who does not have that family togo to, and you know what
another thing you can pick yourfamily to go to?
And you know what Another thingyou can pick your family.
I'm going to tell you you canpick your whole family and go
find your whole family, a wholevillage.
You'd be, like, oh okay, villageof people that think like you,
their mindset is like yours,their goal set they're about
(31:13):
living, or those who are tryingto make it through the journey
and need some help.
Whatever it is that you need todo, do what you need to do so
you can get what you need to be,so you could be laughing on the
other side of this thing whilewe laugh.
You won't be laughing at them,don't they funny.
But no, the journey was ajourney.
The journey was a real journey.
Candace Patrice (31:33):
And it is.
It's still a journey Yep.
Janet Hale (31:39):
And sometimes the journey will hit me.
Listen, sometimes tears fallfrom my eyes without my
permission.
Candace Patrice (31:44):
Now I don't know if anybody caught that
because, not everything is not,everything is rosy you have to
get through things I gotta getthrough.
Janet Hale (31:55):
I sit in my room.
Somebody said something.
It reminded me of my son.
I looked up.
I was crying from my gut.
I said oh well, hold on, Ididn't listen, you guys.
I said I ain't give myselfpermission for that.
But guess what?
It wasn't my permission to give.
And then I roll with it.
(32:16):
I let that thing out.
I said, okay, let it come out.
Missing my mom and aunties andmy grandma, just different
things like that.
I'm speaking to the audiencewho can relate to that and those
who can't, but who can relateto that when they're gone.
And then it's the holiday,because we used to hang out at
(32:36):
grandma's house.
Everybody went to grandma'sGrandma been gone for a minute
now and that's no longer a thing.
Well, it might be.
I think some of the familiesstill do some stuff.
I mean, I'm good, but that wasa thing, because I'm going to
say I knew how much mygrandmother loved me, without a
(33:05):
question.
Listen, grandma used to make mea pot of greens away from
everybody else.
She'd be like this is JanicePotts.
Candace Patrice (33:15):
I'm like okay, grandma, thank you.
It's so sweet to have thosethings, though, that you know
are for you, for me, my hmm,what do we say?
I'm not saying ex-mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law used to makeus potato salad, and she would
(33:35):
always put me and Rory to theside because we didn't like the
onions and stuff in it.
So she would make us a specificside of it just for us.
I mean, it was probably more sofor him, but I got to reap the
benefits.
Janet Hale (33:47):
Right, right, right.
She put a little extra in therefor me too.
Candace Patrice (33:50):
Right, right, right, actually, to the point
now that I think about it.
She used to make me a side ofpotato salad back in high school
because I liked her potatosalad that much that she would
make me potato salad and knowthat I would come and eat the
sweet Hawaiian rolls.
I used to come in there everytime and be like y'all got some
(34:11):
rolls.
I don't know why I didn't thinkwe could purchase rolls from
the store.
I thought she was the only onewho had access to these sweet
Hawaiian rolls that wereexclusive at her house.
So if she made potato salad andhad some Hawaiian rolls, I would
have a bowl of potato salad andsome sweet Hawaiian rolls okay,
I'm not jealous.
I'm not jealous, I ain't evenknow that story you started the
(34:32):
story off with pies, so nothingto be jealous about.
Janet Hale (34:36):
I'm going to say this about your mother-in-law,
because she taught you how tomake them greens.
Candace Patrice (34:41):
I said Candace she taught me how to cook a lot.
Yeah right, I'm the mother, youguys anyway anyway, I'm the
hippie mama.
Janet Hale (34:52):
So Candace cooked some greens.
I said, girl, those greens,those greens are better than my
greens, my grandma's greens, mymama's greens, everybody's
greens.
I said where you learn how todo that?
She said her name, hergrandmother.
I said, oh, okay.
Next thing, I knew I was makingit like that until I got off
the meat.
Candace Patrice (35:09):
You know not neck without meat, but yeah.
Yeah, not.
Janet Hale (35:14):
Nick without me.
But um, yeah, yeah, those are,those are, um, special moments.
Or even my mother.
I never questioned my mother'slove for me, ever.
And my mama used to beat me upy'all, mama, mama used to do me
in, but, um, when I was younger,like, oh, they weren't calling
child abuse there, the childprotection outline, all that
(35:37):
stuff that wasn't going downwith that woman, but with my mom
, and that's some culturallyspecific things that I'm talking
about and I already know that.
But with my mom I knew mamaloved me.
I'm going to say that.
And when I lost I was like, hmm, okay, that hit me hard.
(35:58):
I grieved years, you guys,about that one Years, because
that was a love I knew I'd neverget again, because that was a
special kind of love.
That's that kind of love.
I don't even think LutherVandross could sing that kind of
love.
That's that kind of love.
I don't even think LutherVandross could sing that kind of
love.
Candace Patrice (36:17):
Listen, it's funny.
You say that because I waslaying next to Kamari this
morning and I was just thinkinglike what a great love it is to
be a mother and have a child andbe able to love them and have
them love you back Yesterday inthe morning.
(36:41):
First of all, so much happenedYesterday morning.
Kamari does not like mornings.
Janet Hale (36:49):
Neither does her mother.
Candace Patrice (36:49):
So when I went to wake her up.
She did not want to wake up,but she was also not so nice.
So her elf on the shelf is hereNow.
She didn't know this, but herelf had gotten her an early
prize out of her prize bucketand so it had a note and it said
hey, kamari, I saw the note onthe refrigerator saying you
(37:13):
should eat more fruits andvegetables.
Well, I like fruits andvegetables.
And she had an apple sitting onher where she took little bites
of the apple.
And then she said here I sawthat you clipped up to purple,
which is a good thing in school,and I got you an early prize.
Just let your mom know it wasfrom me and I hope you have a
(37:34):
great day at school today.
So Kamari had acted all kinds ofmean to me.
Then she got out there and shesaw it, she's found her elf.
And when I found her she wascrying and I said why are you
crying?
She was like I don't deservethis because she had just cut up
on me.
(37:54):
She was like I don't deservethis so fast forward.
She said she wrote on the backI don't deserve this today, but
I'm grateful and put it backnext to the L.
That girl came home with aperfect day, basically because I
(38:16):
forgot where I was going withthis.
Oh wait, where was I going?
I really don't know, but Ithink, oh, to be loved, to be a
mother.
And so I was thinking so lateron, right after that, and she
said something.
And she said something like I'msupposed to be mad at you.
(38:36):
I was like you know, you can'tstay mad at me that long.
And she was like you're right,I'd rather enjoy you.
So it was that unconditionallove of this moment happened.
We're not going to sit in that.
Let's go back to love, becauseit was over, and that's another
thing that we have to realize.
Forgiveness, let it go, becausethere's so much enjoyment.
(39:00):
I couldn't imagine us sittingthere having the whole day of,
oh, remember what happened thismorning?
I'm still mad at you.
It's to the point now where shegoes.
She'll look at me.
She'll be mad five minuteslater and she'll be like you
know, I'm mad at you, right?
I'm like well, do we want tostay that way?
(39:21):
She'll be like no, not really.
It happens so fast now.
The recovery is so quickbecause it's just filled with
that love.
It's like let's move forward.
Filled with that love.
It's like let's move forward.
But also being an example ofthat, because I can't hold on to
(39:43):
whatever it is that she did inthat moment.
It's like I address it.
She can hear me.
She has to make a choice torespond on what she heard and
the instructions, and thenwhatever she comes back with is
what I have to respond to, notthat initial thing, because we
did that.
I'm over that.
What's next?
Are you going to do better ornot?
Janet Hale (40:06):
And we make decisions, on one end to be
better, on the other end, toteach better.
I got stuck on.
I heard you beautiful Hersaying I don't deserve this.
Dang you ain't listening tonothing else.
No, I heard everything.
I just wanted to go back tothat.
That hit me a certain kind ofway, and because she read it and
(40:28):
you know all these beautifulthings were said to her and in
my mind she still deserved itand she still got it.
Candace Patrice (40:40):
yeah, no, no I'm saying, oh, I'm exactly
exactly.
Janet Hale (40:41):
I'm saying her saying I didn't just no, you
deserved it, you deserved it andguess what you deserve another
day to make it better and she,she did that.
Candace Patrice (40:52):
And it made me think how sometimes we reward
after, but the pre-reward isokay sometimes, because it does
make you want to do better too,like there's no one way.
I'm actually finding thatsometimes the routine becomes
(41:22):
monotonous and it makes itharder to enjoy, and so I
noticed that with the elf givingher her gift, giving her
something, it made her want togo do better.
But it was a change in the waythings were done.
(41:43):
I didn't know the future.
You know, I could have, I couldhave thought to myself, oh, now
that she got it early, she'sgoing to act up, but that's just
a possible outcome, whereas Ihadn't thought oh, she got it
early, she can do great.
And it's really that, thinkingabout things that don't exist,
(42:04):
that the limitation, that's alimitation on our own belief
system.
Janet Hale (42:10):
Her crying like that I took that thing somewhere
away, wherever you know I takethings.
The crying was wow, I'm stillloved, even though I did
whatever I did, I'm still lovedin this space, and so that I
(42:33):
don't deserve?
Oh, you deserve it, you deserveit and you I think you handled
her you know like, yeah, yougood.
And then she then look, theoutcome was you said, the next
day she came back.
It was like, oh, that day shecame back perfect day.
I was superstar, and then sheprobably went talk to the elf.
We don't know, we wasn't inthere and she told the elf look.
Candace Patrice (42:55):
Oh, she's all out with talking to her.
I'm in the room with the elf.
Oh okay, now he watching you.
Janet Hale (43:03):
It's a girl.
Candace Patrice (43:04):
Her name is Seven AKA Elfie.
Oh, my goodness, she got anextension to her name this year.
Ah, Elfie, Okay, Elfie, Okay,Elfie.
Oh, and Elfie told Kamari thatshe likes her new name too.
She likes both of her names.
Good, you know I don't know ifI said this before I was sharing
with a girl at my job about thefact that Kamari wanted to
(43:27):
change her Elf's name and in mymind I was like but she already
got a name.
You can't just be changingpeople's names like that, she
can't.
And so I got to work and I wassharing with my coworker about
it and she was like, oh, okay,cool, so she changes the name.
And I was like, huh, she waslike, just let her change the
(43:49):
name.
I don't know why it hit so like.
I was like why can't she changethe name?
But it I was like why can't shechange the name?
But it opened me up.
I was gonna say yeah, yes, andthe person it came from looks at
life so simple, and it was so Iwas just like thank you, thank
you for that and it made it somuch easier, not just in that
(44:11):
area, but like to let her liveher life.
Janet Hale (44:15):
Yes.
Candace Patrice (44:15):
To let her make the changes.
Yesterday we went to her cheerperformance, which was created
by the school because cheerdoesn't start till fifth grade,
so they are giving the thirdthrough fifth graders an
opportunity still.
So they had cheer.
Then they had a performance andthey selected the best out of
their performance of third tofifth graders to perform at the
(44:38):
all-star game and it turns.
Kamari does very well in cheerand I asked her yesterday what
she enjoys doing most out of allthe things and she said cheer.
But she's taken a chance inlife to try things.
She tried basketball and hergodmama said I knew she needed
(44:58):
cheer when she was doing adancing on the basketball court.
Everybody else playingbasketball she's up with her
twirling.
And she tried gymnastics At thetime.
She was younger, so maybe itwasn't a great time to try it,
but she's.
She's venturing in things.
She wants to try volleyball, sowe're going to find a way to
(45:21):
get her.
But in order to find what youlove, you have to try different
things.
Yes, and I am grateful to beable to recognize that, so I
don't put her in gymnastics andbe like, no, this is what you're
going to learn.
You got to show up every dayand be great at this, or she
might find soccer, because herlife can't be a job.
(45:44):
And we bring it back right there.
That's it, that's it, oh my God.
The takeaway, y'all thetakeaway is if you don't love it
.
Janet Hale (45:55):
Come on.
Candace Patrice (45:56):
Then you're, you're working, you have to live
the life that you want.
Apply for the jobs that you wantto work.
I know sometimes we get intothis place and space of well, I
need money.
I got to do whatever it takes.
I would encourage someone to dowhatever it takes to work in
something you love to do.
(46:18):
Whatever it takes to show up ina space that can bring you joy.
For some people, working atMcDonald's brings them joy
because they have the humaninteraction with people.
They get to serve them and tomake a difference in the fast
food community that brings themso they can apply there.
If that is not going to bringyou know to make a difference in
the fast food community thatbrings them so they can apply
there.
If that is not going to bringyou joy, if you're going to be
(46:39):
irritated every time you seepeople, every time they ask for
something because you don't wantto be a servant to someone else
, try something else because youcan have joy.
Janet Hale (46:51):
So the fast food thing.
I want to hit on real quick.
My first job was at McDonald'sOkay, grand River and Schaefer.
They tore it down to a new one,whatever.
So I enjoyed it, like I waslike hello, I'm here, I'm at WAC
, you know.
So I enjoyed it so much thatthe customers used to say
where's that little one thatthey were looking for me.
When did she hear?
(47:13):
When did she come to work?
Because I enjoyed it.
And here's the thing about whatCandice just said the fast food
, if you enjoy it, you'reexuding that and you're giving
that to the customer Because thecustomer wants to feel
appreciated, like, appreciate mespending my money up at Mickey
(47:34):
D's, or is Burger King stillopen?
Burger King wherever we are to,just to bring that joy and
spread that.
Because, you never know, one ofyour customers might be going
through a really rough time andall they needed was that smile
on your face to help themthrough that day.
Candace Patrice (47:55):
Yep.
Janet Hale (47:56):
You know and so remember that man, and to the
community out here, find yourpeople who don't have you, who
are not connected.
Find your people.
Candace Patrice (48:19):
Find your people.
Your people.
That's it, um.
If you or someone you know isstruggling, you can call or text
988 with the suicide preventionlifeline, seven days a week.
Um.
Find, find you a leader whosupports you in this life.
Find a leader who creates asafe place, a nonjudgmental
(48:41):
place for you to be able to beyour greatest self, someone who
can help you filter through thethings that don't serve you and
highlight the things that do orhelp you.
Highlight the things that don'tserve you and help the things
that do or help you.
Highlight the things that don'tserve you and help you
highlight the things that do,because, honestly, only you know
(49:02):
what is meant for you.
There is something in your gut,there is a feeling that you have
that makes you feel good andthere's something that doesn't.
The ones and things that makeyou feel good are the things you
should seek when they no longerserve you.
You can seek somethingdifferent, but stay on the path
(49:25):
of what's for you.
Continue to grow, continue tobe the brightest light in the
room, because you are powerful,you are wonderful, you are
amazing.
You are who God created you tobe.
You are who the universecreated you to be.
(49:46):
You are who you are meant to be.
So take those words, carrythose words, write them down,
add to the words confirmyourself, affirm yourself.
Any last words Mo.
Janet Hale (50:06):
Oh yes, Because what you just said got me Listening
to ourselves.
People call it gut, they sayyour spirit, your God.
But listen to it because it's asafety measure.
It's our body letting us knowwhether we're in danger or
(50:27):
something.
Pay attention.
Let's all just pay good, goodattention and allow our bodies
to be our safety net, becauseour bodies keeps the score and
will allow us to know when ithurts it's okay to say ouch, and
(50:49):
when it feels good it's allright, and when it feels good,
it's all right, Absolutely,Thank you.
Candace Patrice (50:55):
Thank you.
Thank you for that.
You guys can send us a textmessage if you have any
questions, comments, concernstopics that you want to review.
If you're looking to be a gueston the show, you can email me
at CandiceFleming atEssentialMotivationcom me at
Candice Fleming atessentialmotivationcom.
You can check out differentmentoring programs, coaching
(51:24):
programs atessentialmotivationcom.
If you want to book with Janet,you can go to
hailempowermentcom and put yourinformation in there.
You can also reach Janet atessentialmotivationcom if you're
looking to connect there.
If you are a woman who islooking for a community that
serves God, you can send me anemail.
(51:44):
I have opened up a newcommunity where we network and
just kind of share the greatnews, the good news that is
happening in our lives.
So if that's something you'reinterested in, you can.
I'm going to put it on thewebsite at some point, but shoot
me an email and I'll send youthe link.
All right, Without further ado.
(52:06):
We bid you a farewell, but itsounds like Janet has one last
farewell.
Janet Hale (52:11):
I wanted to provide the phone number for Helen
Paulman, if that's okay.
Candace Patrice (52:15):
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Janet Hale (52:20):
Yes 313-980-9711.
All right, can you repeat thatone more time?
Candace Patrice (52:29):
313-980-9711.
All right, guys, you got allthe information.
Utilize it.
Utilize it if you need it.
Share it with someone else whomay need it, and we really thank
you, guys so much for being anawesome audience and for
hopefully finding something inthis podcast, something in our
(52:50):
words that resonate with you andyour life and help you live.
I'm about to sound like MikeTodd a transformed life.
Shout out to TransformationChurch.
Okay, okay, okay, all right,all right, I'm out, y'all, I'm
out, y'all.
Have a great day, peace, peace.
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healingwhere I am your host, Candace
Patrice.
I keep saying Candace Fleming,but I am reinventing to Candace
Patrice, to Candace Patrice.
So yes, your host CandacePatrice, and my lovely co-host
(00:28):
Janet Hale.
Janet Hale (00:31):
Thank you very much.
But since we're reinventingHippie, Mama is just fine.
I love that.
Candace Patrice (00:37):
Oh hello.
Janet Hale (00:38):
Hippie Mom let's do it.
Candace Patrice (00:42):
Let's reinvent today.
How are you doing today?
I'm doing good, Candace.
How are you.
I'm good, I'm well.
I'm starting my morning.
You know, today I have somecleaning to do, but all I really
want to do is lay.
So I think, after I finish mymorning meetings and things, I'm
(01:03):
going to pick an hour maybe tojust I don't know, I might be
making it up.
I really want to clean up.
So it's going well.
So I'm going to sip on thiscoffee, get this energy and then
get this energy and clean.
I think I'm going to do that.
(01:25):
That sounds beautiful.
Once I finish the cleaningprocess, I think the world will
open up to me to receive more,but I have to clear space for it
, I know right.
Janet Hale (01:43):
You know I meant the words right.
May I tell you how I receivedthe words right Mm-hmm.
So may I tell you how Ireceived that Is that I have the
opportunity to create space.
Candace Patrice (01:55):
That's beautiful.
Janet Hale (01:56):
That's all, because that's what I heard.
Candace Patrice (01:59):
I know you said different words, but I thought
Mm-hmm, because in my mind Ihear that and I'm like dang.
But if I got the opportunity toclear space, that means at some
point I had too much stuff.
I want to prevent thisopportunity a little bit to
clear, and it already be clear,so I keep things coming and
going as needed.
(02:19):
Yeah people are listening tothis.
Janet Hale (02:22):
People are listening to this.
This is funny.
Candace Patrice (02:46):
Well, I sure hope it encouraged someone to
keep things decluttered andclean and receiving what the
world is coming to bring them,you know which, I guess, is
really brings us to a very quickintroduction to our topic.
How about that which is livingmy life can't become a job.
And oh my goodness, thank you,holy Spirit, all right, so,
listen, amen, listen, listen,listen, so, listen, listen,
(03:16):
listen, listen.
Because when you have too muchstuff in your space, right, you
can't receive more, or you can,but it may not be where it
should be and you're not able toutilize it to its fullest
potential.
But when you continuously workto get rid of the things that no
longer serve you, you thenbring in the things that do
serve you and you can do itquicker.
And it doesn't become a job toget things decluttered, because
(03:36):
you're consistently living,you're consistently working at
the things, working at thethings.
So, for instance, let's justsay I have documents that I
wanted to keep because I justthink, oh, what if I need this?
Or I have a couch that I knewwas sturdy and I bought it so it
(04:01):
could last 25 years.
But really I should be changingthings over and getting
something new, something that Icould have received, but I was
too busy holding on to somethingelse.
But then it becomes a timewhere it's oh, I've got to clean
these papers, I've got to get anew couch, I've got to do this
(04:21):
and I've got to do that, andI've got to clean the kitchen,
I've got to organize the closet.
Once all of that stuff buildsup, it becomes a job Opposed to
oh, let me put things where theybelong.
Every now and then, let me gothrough this area and get rid of
what I don't need.
Oh, let me see what I do need.
Now, when you hear something,let's say you're out in the
(04:49):
world and someone goes hey, doyou know anybody who needs an X,
y and Z?
You know that you've beenthrough your things and, hey,
this is a blessing for you andit's actually I do.
But it's that whole idea ofthings, of keeping them
reciprocal, keeping them going,or maybe you have something and
you can share it with someoneelse and your things become
someone else's treasure.
One man's trash becomes anotherman's treasure.
(05:10):
And not only that as you giveand someone else receives, then
it brings a level of joy becauseyou're giving back unto the
world, ready to receivesomething else, whatever it is,
without expectation, because theworld is granting you these
things.
They say you get what you give.
(05:31):
So if you're constantly givingin the world, you're constantly
receiving maybe not the sameobjects or time or energy or
whatever it is but it will comeback and generally it comes back
bigger and better.
But I'm learning that you can'texpect it to come back bigger
(05:55):
and better because you'll bewaiting for something to show up
in one area when it wassupposed to present itself in
another area and you'reconstantly looking and seeking,
which means you can't receivewhat's for you because you're
already closed-minded whenyou're looking and expecting
something.
You know what I say.
When you manifest things, getout your own way, lean out on
(06:21):
your own understanding, becauseyou create these boundaries in
your own understanding, theseboundaries of what big is, these
boundaries of what you can do.
But when you get, when you takethose boundaries out, like I
like to say, if I can, just Iwant to reach one person.
If I'm consistently reachingone person, then maybe I talk to
(06:42):
five people a day.
If I'm consistently reachingthose five people a day, then
I'm reaching 35 people a week.
But making impactful connectionsand doing that is a part of
living this free life, this lifethat is not a job.
(07:06):
Life is not a job.
Your work doesn't have to be ajob or doesn't have to feel like
a job, because you're puttingout the work into the world to
make the world a better place.
You have a skill that you canutilize somewhere in the world
to make it better, and whenwe're utilizing our skills to
(07:32):
make the world better, it's nolonger a job.
Now we're living our life andthey say faith without works is
dead, or someone who doesn'tearn a wage for or doesn't work
for a living can't eat, andworking doesn't necessarily mean
(07:54):
showing up at a job.
Working is putting in the workinto the world that we're here
to make better, to bring ourskills to that space and place.
All right, that's enoughpreaching for the day.
Janet Hale (08:09):
Yeah, I love it, I love it.
Candace Patrice (08:12):
That's my take on living life to not be a job.
Janet Hale (08:17):
I love it and and so for me, the way I perceive it
and receive it is that I don'twant anything to be a job for me
, and what I mean by that is thehippie mom, because we redefine
things around here.
(08:37):
She enjoys being who she is inthe space that I'm in, being who
she is in the space that I'm in, and so even when I go to a
place that's considered whereI'm employed, I don't even go in
there like it's a job.
I'm like hippie mom has arrived.
Yeah, Dennis is in the houseand it's living my life in that
(09:03):
manner.
And when you talk about how wegive and then we receive it back
, and I know for me and I'm sograteful for this I don't look
for a return.
Candace Patrice (09:17):
I don't think you do either.
Janet Hale (09:18):
I don't look for a return.
But, man, the returns bepopping up.
I'll be like I call you all thetime on some stuff.
I'll be like Candace, guesswhat just happened.
And so my life period is living.
My life is about experiences.
It's connection with people.
(09:40):
Basically is the main part beingpeaceful, and there are times
that I'm just here by myself andfeel peaceful and some might
say, oh God, that's such alonely place to be.
There's a lonely moment or two,but for the most part it's a
peaceful, tranquil place for me.
(10:01):
So you know, I've always notalways, but for the most part
place for me.
I've always not always, but forthe most part have always lived
in this hippie mindset of lifeis beautiful.
What can we do?
What can I do?
Something keeps showing up andit's painful.
Then what's the lesson in it?
I feel that kind of thing.
(10:22):
Something occurred and I don'tthink that I shared this with
you, but I got a text and I kindof stopped communicating with a
few people.
Mind was clever, so clever inhow they communicated, and this
(10:54):
was so simple.
I might be giving out something, but that's okay.
That's what this is about.
This is what this is about.
The text said I love you.
Candace Patrice (11:09):
Boom that's it, that's the message.
Boom, I said and the greatestof these things is, wait a
minute wait.
Janet Hale (11:16):
I looked at it and went okay, that deserve a
response, because I usuallydon't.
I was like I love you too.
Aww, you follow where I'm goingwith this, like no, I wasn't
expecting that because you know,for whatever reason.
But the whole thing is, it wasjust those few words.
Oh, you know, there's a songthese three words I do love you.
(11:42):
Yeah, I don't know that song.
Yeah, anyways, yeah, so anyway,and I found that to be quite
awesome.
Candace Patrice (11:44):
I do love you.
Janet Hale (11:44):
Yeah, anyways and I found that to be quite awesome.
I received a text from someoneand she said I don't want to ask
you, but would you?
And I said, well, of course, Iwill participate you.
(12:05):
And I said, well, of course, Iwill participate and send the
video, of course.
Candace Patrice (12:11):
I will.
Janet Hale (12:13):
And then this morning I sent a second one with
the compliment of that personand I thought, wow, just that
part about you saying being opento the process of whatever that
is.
See, it don't have to look acertain kind of way because I
(12:33):
don't know what kind of way it'scoming, and I'm okay with that.
I'm really okay with that.
I'm okay with being out lastnight in zero degree weather,
out at the wrong school, findingthe right school and hanging
out with Sugar Baby and her mom,my daughter, dominique, my
(13:01):
other daughter, or what is she?
Candace who?
Dominique?
Oh, she's something to me,she's a sweetheart and just
enjoying that.
It's like okay, everybody know,jaina, don't get out, I don't
get out like that, but for thatit was like okay, there's a
purpose in this thing.
Right here, let me get ready,let me fill up the tank, let me
(13:27):
do all the things to be in thisthing.
Right here, let me get ready,let me fill up the tank, let me
do all the things to be in thisspace to enjoy this moment,
because I'm here and I'm able tobe a part of it.
It's beautiful.
Candace Patrice (13:40):
When you were talking, you said that you
wanted that you get a return ofliving life.
That is exactly what it is areturn, and it's been
conceptualized as a job, as apaycheck the return on
(14:04):
investment, but the return onliving your life to the best of
(14:40):
your ability as a good person,being kind, showing love, having
peace, doing all of the thingsthat.
There is no law against anykind of resource, whatever that
resource is, where you can gointo the grocery store and say,
hey, miss Johnson, I just need17 peppers for the week.
And she give you 17 peppers andyou say to Miss Johnson oh, and
(15:02):
I'll bring your olive oil later, because it's a reciprocal
thing, it's what one personneeds versus what another person
needs.
No, the value doesn't need toequal the same, but the value is
actually in I have what youneed and you have what I need.
Therefore, if we can meet eachother needs, then we have we
(15:28):
have successfully created thisreturn on living life.
Janet Hale (15:33):
So did we talk about the pies last podcast?
The pies, sweet potato pies, Iknow no, okay, okay, anybody.
Candace has a hippie mama doingsweet potato pies.
She called me on demand.
(15:53):
I'm like, oh, I got to makethese pies.
She mentioned the pies.
Candace Patrice (15:58):
When you say call on demand, it's still on
the table.
Janet Hale (16:03):
You told me I wasn't off duty.
She came over, got the recipe,she filmed it.
I thought, oh, this is the end.
Okay, she's like, that doesn'tmean you're off duty I said oh
really, so no, I guess I stillget the call.
Candace Patrice (16:15):
So but wait, you said on demand.
How on demand is this?
Janet Hale (16:20):
I'm about to.
I'm gonna tell the audience thestory, but am I still on demand
?
I'm going to tell the story andthen they'll answer it for you.
Candace Patrice (16:30):
But I can put these requests in at any season
of the year.
Janet Hale (16:34):
Anyway.
Candace Patrice (16:35):
Because I need to know when I can put a new
request in.
Janet Hale (16:39):
Okay, so Thanksgiving around that time,
she wanted sweet potato pies andI have a niece.
Whenever I make them, you knowI say, okay, you got to take
them over to her because thesetwo will double team me on these
pies.
Okay.
So I did that.
But I remember when she'stalking about the giving, that's
the part I wanted to get toabout the pies.
(17:00):
And I remember, as I was makingthe pies and I was talking to
my girlfriend about this and Isaid, you know, christmas is a
thing people do a lot of giftgiving and things of that nature
.
And I said with my childrenI've not had that.
Uh, not to knock those who dothis, but I did not have that.
(17:20):
I had to buy the $300 gym shoes.
I.
I remember when that was athing, folks was like I was like
the whole rent money went onthose shoes.
But that's okay, that's how youdo what you do.
I never had that.
So for me it was showing up inlove in the best way.
I knew how, not that, I wasalways great at it.
So these pies.
So I go and get the ingredientsand I take a picture of the
(17:44):
ingredients and I text them thecandidates, like I got the
ingredients.
I don't know when I'll makethem, but I got the ingredients.
So I'm like, okay.
So one day I was sitting hereand I said let me get up and
make these pies and as I madethe pies, you guys, there was so
much love that I put into thosepies.
I was like I was feeling myancestors.
(18:07):
You guys, I know that mightsound a little weird I don't
care, but I was doing it I waslike no, we don't use
measurements, I don't just doany of that, I just do it.
And I was like, yes, just do it.
And there was so much love onmy eyes.
I put so much love in thosepies.
I put so much love in thosepies.
I felt the love in them.
Pies, I hope you ate a piece ofthe love in the pie Me, a piece
(18:30):
A piece.
Oh, that's right, half the piewas gone for your life.
So, anyway, because you can'tpick up the pie, anyway, but the
return of that, it was a returnto you for what you have given
to me.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And the thing is the love part,because it doesn't have to be a
(18:52):
material thing.
Candace Patrice (18:54):
Right.
Janet Hale (18:54):
It's the love.
Candace Patrice (18:56):
It's the love it might be opening your door to
somebody.
Oh, it's the love.
Janet Hale (19:02):
It's the whole thing of mine.
Candace Patrice (19:07):
Did you?
Janet Hale (19:08):
get the mat, did I say?
I said what, man?
I thought I know what that was.
I brought it in the house.
Well, I wanted to exchange yourmat because I need a new mat by
the side, or whatever.
Candace Patrice (19:17):
I didn't put it up yet but anyway, but I but
she did and I was gonna put itup.
Oh, that was a whole notherstory.
Janet Hale (19:23):
You have a key, you have a key.
You didn't know but you have akey.
Candace Patrice (19:27):
I know, but you weren't home.
It was after church and I hadsome things to do and I was like
, well, if I can't see her thistime.
I'm going to have to go dothese other things, but it was a
Sunday.
You were taking a class.
Janet Hale (19:45):
Oh, okay, yeah, thank you.
I speak of the pies and thelove that went into it.
I remember feeling love withevery ingredient I put in it,
every time I pushed the mixer,whatever you call it, it was
just love, love, I was feelingit.
I was in that kitchen doing.
I was just, oh, I was feelingit.
I was in that kitchen.
(20:05):
I said, yeah, this is all kindof love going into this.
Yes, let's do this thing, didit, baked them, put them out.
She took a couple days to gethere.
That's okay Because I knowshe's busy.
Candace Patrice (20:17):
You took a couple days.
Janet Hale (20:18):
You didn't come that day oh.
Candace Patrice (20:20):
I came the next day?
Janet Hale (20:21):
Was it the next day?
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, I'm sorry, Okay so she came.
But I say all that to say thisyou know, in doing that was my
giving of my love to you, orshowing up, or my love showing
(20:44):
up for you, and it felt good.
Candace Patrice (20:48):
Like it feels good it tasted good too.
I'm glad it felt good in mymouth, in my throat in my belly
I felt good coming out.
Well, you know, do they need toknow all that?
Anyway, hey, in my belly I feltgood coming out.
Janet Hale (20:59):
Do they need to know all that?
Anyway, living my life cannotbe a job.
It is not.
It's a joyful place to be.
Life for me is an experience.
Everybody know I'm notreligious, but I do believe that
(21:20):
we're human, living in a body,having spiritual experiences,
and I do believe that I do.
I really do.
Candace Patrice (21:33):
Oh, go ahead.
Janet Hale (21:33):
You know, what?
Candace Patrice (21:35):
When I hear you talk about putting love in
everything, and now thisspiritual creation and
connection with love, I wouldjust like to enter my spiritual
connection of love with 1Corinthians 13, verse 13.
And now these three remainfaith, hope and love.
(21:57):
But the greatest of these islove, and the second one being
John 13, 34 through 35, a newcommand I give you love one
another as I had loved you.
So you must love, so you mustlove one another.
By this, everyone will knowthat you are my disciples If you
love one another.
Love, love, love, love, love,love.
The greatest command is love.
(22:19):
Of all of the commands, of allof the things, is love Loving
thy neighbor.
It's just when I hear yousaying I felt love, I felt love,
I felt love.
You put the greatest ingredientof all things into the pie.
Janet Hale (22:37):
I did.
Candace Patrice (22:44):
And it also and okay, guys, I'm on this whole
journey.
Janet Hale (22:46):
Okay, so my whole faith, you'll hear it coming up,
I got to go to church everytime.
Candace Patrice (22:50):
So much more, and it's because of what I'm
learning and how to live life asa good person.
Ultimately, I want to be ableto give out so much love, so
much light, to bring joy to theworld.
I wrote something down maybe ayear ago and it says something
(23:14):
like I'm going to change theworld, I'm going to change your
mindset, I'm going to make youbelieve.
I forgot what it was.
It was something about that,but it was all on the idea of
teaching and sharing with peoplehow to live a life of love and
(23:34):
how I want to have influence inthe world to be able to create
that.
And as an influencer, we areteachers.
Right, it makes us, accordingto the Bible, the third highest
(24:05):
in the ranks, because we haveour apostles, we have disciples
and then we have teachers.
It says, and God has placed inthe church first of all,
apostles, second, prophets andthird, teachers.
And teachers are people whoeducate people in different
(24:45):
areas, right?
So as coaches, we teach peoplehow to live a life of freedom, a
life of positivity a life oflove, a life of productivity a
life without shame, a lifewithout fear.
We are doing our best to teachthem to live an abundant life,
feel with whatever it is thatthey're supposed to have in the
universe, believing that theworld is conspiring with you and
not against you.
So it is a great duty and agreat job.
(25:06):
That is not a job because we'reliving the life to teach love.
So not only are we spreadinglove, but we're doing one of the
greatest jobs.
Janet Hale (25:21):
I like that yeah.
Candace Patrice (25:22):
So we're taking the greatest job to teach the
greatest thing.
Ain't that deep.
I know I had to bring it.
I created a forest for you.
Janet Hale (25:31):
No, you did, and that's okay because you know
mama love a forest.
And when I heard and I'mlistening, I'm looking at you.
They don't know, you know,y'all know we can see each other
and I'm listening to you talkabout the things that you're
talking about and how you'regrowing into you know learning
different things, and these areall the things that I've seen in
(25:51):
you period.
Candace Patrice (25:54):
Thank you.
Janet Hale (25:55):
And so and I understand you're going through,
you know you're on another, youknow journey in your life and
and when I listen to you and andyou, you read out the bible,
some things that and I'm like,yeah, I agree with that.
Even though I'm not religious,I still agree with that.
However, I want to say thoseare things that I've seen you
(26:16):
live before you started pickingup the Bible, reading scriptures
.
Candace Patrice (26:21):
Does that make?
Janet Hale (26:21):
sense.
Yeah, absolutely Like you wereliving in my.
From what I know, and thepeople that know you, I think
would agree that that is whoyou've been.
Candace Patrice (26:33):
It makes it a lot easier to try to walk the
talk.
So, even though I mean I hearyou saying if I was walking it,
but let me say this tostrengthen the muscle.
Janet Hale (26:47):
There you go.
I'll go with that, thank you.
Candace Patrice (26:51):
And you know we look at lifting muscles as
going to the gym, but we have tostrengthen ourselves in all
areas and I guess it's reallydiscipline.
So it's because the disciplineto strengthen ourselves mentally
(27:12):
, emotionally, physically,spiritually, financially, like
there are so many areas thatneed strengthening, go ahead.
Janet Hale (27:21):
Because what I want to talk, what I want to say, is
kind of off topic and you knowI'm going to be going off the
script.
I'm sure we'll bring it back,go ahead, okay Is you know?
We're in the holiday season andso I just think it's important
during the season that we speakto that a little bit, because
sometimes this time of year isnot where people are living in
(27:44):
gratitude, they're living inmourning.
Candace Patrice (27:47):
Yeah, and so.
Janet Hale (27:48):
I want to acknowledge them in this moment,
right now.
Candace Patrice (27:51):
Yeah.
Janet Hale (27:52):
And say there have been moments where I lived in
mourning and had to work my wayout.
So I didn't just arrive here inthis moment, like there was
work that had to get me here andI had to be open and receptive
to the work, to ask for the helpthat I needed to get me to this
(28:14):
place.
So I want to speak to thosepeople who are probably sitting
saying oh, they over theretalking and laughing.
Yeah, we do.
We be laughing and talking.
Yeah, we do.
But, boy, the journey yes, ooh,that journey, yeah, that journey
of losing my son in 2016.
Yeah, because he was shot six,five times in his chest.
(28:37):
I think it was six, five or six.
One was too damn many.
Excuse me for cussing amen tothe people.
That was too many, but what I'msaying, I say all that to say
to those who are in this seasonand you feel like there's no
hope.
There's hope.
We are evidence of the hopethat comes, and you feel like
(28:59):
there's no hope.
There's hope.
We are evidence of the hopethat comes, the laughter that
comes.
Baby, you got to go through itto get through it, and that's
what we're here for.
We're here to help you in thebest way we know how.
Or, like Candice, had theresources to get you to where
you need to go.
Or talking about the coachingto be coached into getting you
(29:21):
through from one moment to thenext moment, or even in the
coaching, saying you know whatcoaching is fine.
However, perhaps you need um.
Have you considered more help?
Candace Patrice (29:32):
in this area.
Janet Hale (29:34):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying so yeah, so yeah, we
having a good time and life is.
Candace Patrice (29:40):
You know, I'm you know I'm good, you know what
I'm saying.
I'll be like yo.
Janet Hale (29:43):
I'm having a good old time I was at an event.
I don't drink, you guys, but Iwas having some mocktails and
everybody didn't everybodypeople that didn't know that I
was, that I was lit up, becauseI'm always lit up that part.
Yeah, I'm always lit up, I'm allyou know.
I'm having a great time.
So, you know, for those of youwho are going through a time
(30:06):
where there's one less person atyour table, or the matriarch or
the uh, is it patriarch, theguy?
So I'm a hundred to women youknow what women do.
I can't help you right so um oror that auntie or whoever is no
longer around, or even ifsomeone in the family has put
(30:29):
distance between themselves andthe family.
I understand that sometimespeople put distance not because
of them, but because they needit yeah you know.
So this whole thing called life,it's, it's, it's different for
all of us.
It's different for all of us.
(30:49):
However, I I just wanted tospeak to you, to the audience
who does not have that family togo to, and you know what
another thing you can pick yourfamily to go to?
And you know what Another thingyou can pick your family.
I'm going to tell you you canpick your whole family and go
find your whole family, a wholevillage.
You'd be, like, oh okay, villageof people that think like you,
their mindset is like yours,their goal set they're about
(31:13):
living, or those who are tryingto make it through the journey
and need some help.
Whatever it is that you need todo, do what you need to do so
you can get what you need to be,so you could be laughing on the
other side of this thing whilewe laugh.
You won't be laughing at them,don't they funny.
But no, the journey was ajourney.
The journey was a real journey.
Candace Patrice (31:33):
And it is.
It's still a journey Yep.
Janet Hale (31:39):
And sometimes the journey will hit me.
Listen, sometimes tears fallfrom my eyes without my
permission.
Candace Patrice (31:44):
Now I don't know if anybody caught that
because, not everything is not,everything is rosy you have to
get through things I gotta getthrough.
Janet Hale (31:55):
I sit in my room.
Somebody said something.
It reminded me of my son.
I looked up.
I was crying from my gut.
I said oh well, hold on, Ididn't listen, you guys.
I said I ain't give myselfpermission for that.
But guess what?
It wasn't my permission to give.
And then I roll with it.
(32:16):
I let that thing out.
I said, okay, let it come out.
Missing my mom and aunties andmy grandma, just different
things like that.
I'm speaking to the audiencewho can relate to that and those
who can't, but who can relateto that when they're gone.
And then it's the holiday,because we used to hang out at
(32:36):
grandma's house.
Everybody went to grandma'sGrandma been gone for a minute
now and that's no longer a thing.
Well, it might be.
I think some of the familiesstill do some stuff.
I mean, I'm good, but that wasa thing, because I'm going to
say I knew how much mygrandmother loved me, without a
(33:05):
question.
Listen, grandma used to make mea pot of greens away from
everybody else.
She'd be like this is JanicePotts.
Candace Patrice (33:15):
I'm like okay, grandma, thank you.
It's so sweet to have thosethings, though, that you know
are for you, for me, my hmm,what do we say?
I'm not saying ex-mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law used to makeus potato salad, and she would
(33:35):
always put me and Rory to theside because we didn't like the
onions and stuff in it.
So she would make us a specificside of it just for us.
I mean, it was probably more sofor him, but I got to reap the
benefits.
Janet Hale (33:47):
Right, right, right.
She put a little extra in therefor me too.
Candace Patrice (33:50):
Right, right, right, actually, to the point
now that I think about it.
She used to make me a side ofpotato salad back in high school
because I liked her potatosalad that much that she would
make me potato salad and knowthat I would come and eat the
sweet Hawaiian rolls.
I used to come in there everytime and be like y'all got some
(34:11):
rolls.
I don't know why I didn't thinkwe could purchase rolls from
the store.
I thought she was the only onewho had access to these sweet
Hawaiian rolls that wereexclusive at her house.
So if she made potato salad andhad some Hawaiian rolls, I would
have a bowl of potato salad andsome sweet Hawaiian rolls okay,
I'm not jealous.
I'm not jealous, I ain't evenknow that story you started the
(34:32):
story off with pies, so nothingto be jealous about.
Janet Hale (34:36):
I'm going to say this about your mother-in-law,
because she taught you how tomake them greens.
Candace Patrice (34:41):
I said Candace she taught me how to cook a lot.
Yeah right, I'm the mother, youguys anyway anyway, I'm the
hippie mama.
Janet Hale (34:52):
So Candace cooked some greens.
I said, girl, those greens,those greens are better than my
greens, my grandma's greens, mymama's greens, everybody's
greens.
I said where you learn how todo that?
She said her name, hergrandmother.
I said, oh, okay.
Next thing, I knew I was makingit like that until I got off
the meat.
Candace Patrice (35:09):
You know not neck without meat, but yeah.
Yeah, not.
Janet Hale (35:14):
Nick without me.
But um, yeah, yeah, those are,those are, um, special moments.
Or even my mother.
I never questioned my mother'slove for me, ever.
And my mama used to beat me upy'all, mama, mama used to do me
in, but, um, when I was younger,like, oh, they weren't calling
child abuse there, the childprotection outline, all that
(35:37):
stuff that wasn't going downwith that woman, but with my mom
, and that's some culturallyspecific things that I'm talking
about and I already know that.
But with my mom I knew mamaloved me.
I'm going to say that.
And when I lost I was like, hmm, okay, that hit me hard.
(35:58):
I grieved years, you guys,about that one Years, because
that was a love I knew I'd neverget again, because that was a
special kind of love.
That's that kind of love.
I don't even think LutherVandross could sing that kind of
love.
That's that kind of love.
I don't even think LutherVandross could sing that kind of
love.
Candace Patrice (36:17):
Listen, it's funny.
You say that because I waslaying next to Kamari this
morning and I was just thinkinglike what a great love it is to
be a mother and have a child andbe able to love them and have
them love you back Yesterday inthe morning.
(36:41):
First of all, so much happenedYesterday morning.
Kamari does not like mornings.
Janet Hale (36:49):
Neither does her mother.
Candace Patrice (36:49):
So when I went to wake her up.
She did not want to wake up,but she was also not so nice.
So her elf on the shelf is hereNow.
She didn't know this, but herelf had gotten her an early
prize out of her prize bucketand so it had a note and it said
hey, kamari, I saw the note onthe refrigerator saying you
(37:13):
should eat more fruits andvegetables.
Well, I like fruits andvegetables.
And she had an apple sitting onher where she took little bites
of the apple.
And then she said here I sawthat you clipped up to purple,
which is a good thing in school,and I got you an early prize.
Just let your mom know it wasfrom me and I hope you have a
(37:34):
great day at school today.
So Kamari had acted all kinds ofmean to me.
Then she got out there and shesaw it, she's found her elf.
And when I found her she wascrying and I said why are you
crying?
She was like I don't deservethis because she had just cut up
on me.
(37:54):
She was like I don't deservethis so fast forward.
She said she wrote on the backI don't deserve this today, but
I'm grateful and put it backnext to the L.
That girl came home with aperfect day, basically because I
(38:16):
forgot where I was going withthis.
Oh wait, where was I going?
I really don't know, but Ithink, oh, to be loved, to be a
mother.
And so I was thinking so lateron, right after that, and she
said something.
And she said something like I'msupposed to be mad at you.
(38:36):
I was like you know, you can'tstay mad at me that long.
And she was like you're right,I'd rather enjoy you.
So it was that unconditionallove of this moment happened.
We're not going to sit in that.
Let's go back to love, becauseit was over, and that's another
thing that we have to realize.
Forgiveness, let it go, becausethere's so much enjoyment.
(39:00):
I couldn't imagine us sittingthere having the whole day of,
oh, remember what happened thismorning?
I'm still mad at you.
It's to the point now where shegoes.
She'll look at me.
She'll be mad five minuteslater and she'll be like you
know, I'm mad at you, right?
I'm like well, do we want tostay that way?
(39:21):
She'll be like no, not really.
It happens so fast now.
The recovery is so quickbecause it's just filled with
that love.
It's like let's move forward.
Filled with that love.
It's like let's move forward.
But also being an example ofthat, because I can't hold on to
(39:43):
whatever it is that she did inthat moment.
It's like I address it.
She can hear me.
She has to make a choice torespond on what she heard and
the instructions, and thenwhatever she comes back with is
what I have to respond to, notthat initial thing, because we
did that.
I'm over that.
What's next?
Are you going to do better ornot?
Janet Hale (40:06):
And we make decisions, on one end to be
better, on the other end, toteach better.
I got stuck on.
I heard you beautiful Hersaying I don't deserve this.
Dang you ain't listening tonothing else.
No, I heard everything.
I just wanted to go back tothat.
That hit me a certain kind ofway, and because she read it and
(40:28):
you know all these beautifulthings were said to her and in
my mind she still deserved itand she still got it.
Candace Patrice (40:40):
yeah, no, no I'm saying, oh, I'm exactly
exactly.
Janet Hale (40:41):
I'm saying her saying I didn't just no, you
deserved it, you deserved it andguess what you deserve another
day to make it better and she,she did that.
Candace Patrice (40:52):
And it made me think how sometimes we reward
after, but the pre-reward isokay sometimes, because it does
make you want to do better too,like there's no one way.
I'm actually finding thatsometimes the routine becomes
(41:22):
monotonous and it makes itharder to enjoy, and so I
noticed that with the elf givingher her gift, giving her
something, it made her want togo do better.
But it was a change in the waythings were done.
(41:43):
I didn't know the future.
You know, I could have, I couldhave thought to myself, oh, now
that she got it early, she'sgoing to act up, but that's just
a possible outcome, whereas Ihadn't thought oh, she got it
early, she can do great.
And it's really that, thinkingabout things that don't exist,
(42:04):
that the limitation, that's alimitation on our own belief
system.
Janet Hale (42:10):
Her crying like that I took that thing somewhere
away, wherever you know I takethings.
The crying was wow, I'm stillloved, even though I did
whatever I did, I'm still lovedin this space, and so that I
(42:33):
don't deserve?
Oh, you deserve it, you deserveit and you I think you handled
her you know like, yeah, yougood.
And then she then look, theoutcome was you said, the next
day she came back.
It was like, oh, that day shecame back perfect day.
I was superstar, and then sheprobably went talk to the elf.
We don't know, we wasn't inthere and she told the elf look.
Candace Patrice (42:55):
Oh, she's all out with talking to her.
I'm in the room with the elf.
Oh okay, now he watching you.
Janet Hale (43:03):
It's a girl.
Candace Patrice (43:04):
Her name is Seven AKA Elfie.
Oh, my goodness, she got anextension to her name this year.
Ah, Elfie, Okay, Elfie, Okay,Elfie.
Oh, and Elfie told Kamari thatshe likes her new name too.
She likes both of her names.
Good, you know I don't know ifI said this before I was sharing
with a girl at my job about thefact that Kamari wanted to
(43:27):
change her Elf's name and in mymind I was like but she already
got a name.
You can't just be changingpeople's names like that, she
can't.
And so I got to work and I wassharing with my coworker about
it and she was like, oh, okay,cool, so she changes the name.
And I was like, huh, she waslike, just let her change the
(43:49):
name.
I don't know why it hit so like.
I was like why can't she changethe name?
But it I was like why can't shechange the name?
But it opened me up.
I was gonna say yeah, yes, andthe person it came from looks at
life so simple, and it was so Iwas just like thank you, thank
you for that and it made it somuch easier, not just in that
(44:11):
area, but like to let her liveher life.
Janet Hale (44:15):
Yes.
Candace Patrice (44:15):
To let her make the changes.
Yesterday we went to her cheerperformance, which was created
by the school because cheerdoesn't start till fifth grade,
so they are giving the thirdthrough fifth graders an
opportunity still.
So they had cheer.
Then they had a performance andthey selected the best out of
their performance of third tofifth graders to perform at the
(44:38):
all-star game and it turns.
Kamari does very well in cheerand I asked her yesterday what
she enjoys doing most out of allthe things and she said cheer.
But she's taken a chance inlife to try things.
She tried basketball and hergodmama said I knew she needed
(44:58):
cheer when she was doing adancing on the basketball court.
Everybody else playingbasketball she's up with her
twirling.
And she tried gymnastics At thetime.
She was younger, so maybe itwasn't a great time to try it,
but she's.
She's venturing in things.
She wants to try volleyball, sowe're going to find a way to
(45:21):
get her.
But in order to find what youlove, you have to try different
things.
Yes, and I am grateful to beable to recognize that, so I
don't put her in gymnastics andbe like, no, this is what you're
going to learn.
You got to show up every dayand be great at this, or she
might find soccer, because herlife can't be a job.
(45:44):
And we bring it back right there.
That's it, that's it, oh my God.
The takeaway, y'all thetakeaway is if you don't love it
.
Janet Hale (45:55):
Come on.
Candace Patrice (45:56):
Then you're, you're working, you have to live
the life that you want.
Apply for the jobs that you wantto work.
I know sometimes we get intothis place and space of well, I
need money.
I got to do whatever it takes.
I would encourage someone to dowhatever it takes to work in
something you love to do.
(46:18):
Whatever it takes to show up ina space that can bring you joy.
For some people, working atMcDonald's brings them joy
because they have the humaninteraction with people.
They get to serve them and tomake a difference in the fast
food community that brings themso they can apply there.
If that is not going to bringyou know to make a difference in
the fast food community thatbrings them so they can apply
there.
If that is not going to bringyou joy, if you're going to be
(46:39):
irritated every time you seepeople, every time they ask for
something because you don't wantto be a servant to someone else
, try something else because youcan have joy.
Janet Hale (46:51):
So the fast food thing.
I want to hit on real quick.
My first job was at McDonald'sOkay, grand River and Schaefer.
They tore it down to a new one,whatever.
So I enjoyed it, like I waslike hello, I'm here, I'm at WAC
, you know.
So I enjoyed it so much thatthe customers used to say
where's that little one thatthey were looking for me.
When did she hear?
(47:13):
When did she come to work?
Because I enjoyed it.
And here's the thing about whatCandice just said the fast food
, if you enjoy it, you'reexuding that and you're giving
that to the customer Because thecustomer wants to feel
appreciated, like, appreciate mespending my money up at Mickey
(47:34):
D's, or is Burger King stillopen?
Burger King wherever we are to,just to bring that joy and
spread that.
Because, you never know, one ofyour customers might be going
through a really rough time andall they needed was that smile
on your face to help themthrough that day.
Candace Patrice (47:55):
Yep.
Janet Hale (47:56):
You know and so remember that man, and to the
community out here, find yourpeople who don't have you, who
are not connected.
Find your people.
Candace Patrice (48:19):
Find your people.
Your people.
That's it, um.
If you or someone you know isstruggling, you can call or text
988 with the suicide preventionlifeline, seven days a week.
Um.
Find, find you a leader whosupports you in this life.
Find a leader who creates asafe place, a nonjudgmental
(48:41):
place for you to be able to beyour greatest self, someone who
can help you filter through thethings that don't serve you and
highlight the things that do orhelp you.
Highlight the things that don'tserve you and help the things
that do or help you.
Highlight the things that don'tserve you and help you
highlight the things that do,because, honestly, only you know
(49:02):
what is meant for you.
There is something in your gut,there is a feeling that you have
that makes you feel good andthere's something that doesn't.
The ones and things that makeyou feel good are the things you
should seek when they no longerserve you.
You can seek somethingdifferent, but stay on the path
(49:25):
of what's for you.
Continue to grow, continue tobe the brightest light in the
room, because you are powerful,you are wonderful, you are
amazing.
You are who God created you tobe.
You are who the universecreated you to be.
(49:46):
You are who you are meant to be.
So take those words, carrythose words, write them down,
add to the words confirmyourself, affirm yourself.
Any last words Mo.
Janet Hale (50:06):
Oh yes, Because what you just said got me Listening
to ourselves.
People call it gut, they sayyour spirit, your God.
But listen to it because it's asafety measure.
It's our body letting us knowwhether we're in danger or
(50:27):
something.
Pay attention.
Let's all just pay good, goodattention and allow our bodies
to be our safety net, becauseour bodies keeps the score and
will allow us to know when ithurts it's okay to say ouch, and
(50:49):
when it feels good it's allright, and when it feels good,
it's all right, Absolutely,Thank you.
Candace Patrice (50:55):
Thank you.
Thank you for that.
You guys can send us a textmessage if you have any
questions, comments, concernstopics that you want to review.
If you're looking to be a gueston the show, you can email me
at CandiceFleming atEssentialMotivationcom me at
Candice Fleming atessentialmotivationcom.
You can check out differentmentoring programs, coaching
(51:24):
programs atessentialmotivationcom.
If you want to book with Janet,you can go to
hailempowermentcom and put yourinformation in there.
You can also reach Janet atessentialmotivationcom if you're
looking to connect there.
If you are a woman who islooking for a community that
serves God, you can send me anemail.
(51:44):
I have opened up a newcommunity where we network and
just kind of share the greatnews, the good news that is
happening in our lives.
So if that's something you'reinterested in, you can.
I'm going to put it on thewebsite at some point, but shoot
me an email and I'll send youthe link.
All right, Without further ado.
(52:06):
We bid you a farewell, but itsounds like Janet has one last
farewell.
Janet Hale (52:11):
I wanted to provide the phone number for Helen
Paulman, if that's okay.
Candace Patrice (52:15):
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Janet Hale (52:20):
Yes 313-980-9711.
All right, can you repeat thatone more time?
Candace Patrice (52:29):
313-980-9711.
All right, guys, you got allthe information.
Utilize it.
Utilize it if you need it.
Share it with someone else whomay need it, and we really thank
you, guys so much for being anawesome audience and for
hopefully finding something inthis podcast, something in our
(52:50):
words that resonate with you andyour life and help you live.
I'm about to sound like MikeTodd a transformed life.
Shout out to TransformationChurch.
Okay, okay, okay, all right,all right, I'm out, y'all, I'm
out, y'all.
Have a great day, peace, peace.
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