March 27, 2025 • 62 mins
Tired of failed relationships? You might be asking one person to fill too many intimacy needs. In this deeply thoughtful episode, relationship expert Tannaz shares her transformative concept of the six intimacy tanks we all have: physical (non-sexual touch), sexual, emotional, experiential, intellectual, and spiritual connection.
Instead of expecting a single person to fill every tank, Tannaz encourages taking inventory of your relationships to identify who fills which roles in your life. When your partner lacks emotional capacity, who else can you turn to? Which tanks are non-negotiable for your romantic relationships? This perspective removes the crushing weight of expecting partners to "be everything" while honoring our need for community.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when Candace vulnerably shares her post-divorce experience with a situationship, revealing how honesty about what she could and couldn't give transformed a confusing dynamic into a nurturing friendship. "When I can't give you what you deserve, I need to be honest about that," she reflects, demonstrating how candor creates safety in relationships.
Tannaz, who left a law career after witnessing too many divorces, explains the crucial components of relationship healing: cognitive understanding paired with somatic bodywork to help our nervous systems feel safe enough for change. "We will always choose familiar chaos over unfamiliar peace," she notes, highlighting why we stay in dysfunctional patterns.
Whether you're single, dating, partnered, or married, this episode offers practical tools to evaluate your relationships and create more intentional connections. As Tannaz reminds us: "Your presence matters — you were born with a unique blueprint to share gifts with the world."
Tannaz Hosseinpour is a certified life coach specializing in relationships—both with oneself and with others. With an academic background in conflict resolution law and counselling psychotherapy, she blends neuroscience, psychology, and mindfulness to help individuals regulate their nervous system and build healthy, secure connections.
Explore more resources at minutesongrowth.com, where Tannaz offers a free ebook on nervous system regulation and consultations for those seeking relationship guidance.
Website: www.minutesongrowth.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/minutesongrowth
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/minutes-on-growth/id1294464255
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6L0KjxeqLW0WFMsHVJnQe0
Host Candace Fleming
Co-host Janet Hale
visit the website at https://www.essentialmotivation.com/
visit the store at https://shopessentialmotivation.com/
Instagram instagram.com/essentialmotivationllc
visit Janet's website https://haleempowermentllc.com/
To be a guest on our show email me at candacefleming@essentialmotivation.com
In the subject line put EMH Guest
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Music by Lukrembo: https://soundcloud.com/lukrembo
Provided by Knowledge Base: https://bit.ly/2BdvqzN
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Candace Patrice (00:05):
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing,where I am your host, Candace
Patrice, and joining me today,of course, as always, is my
lovely co-host, janet Hale.
Janet Hale (00:20):
Hello, mother, hello hello, hello, happy Sunday,
although you're going to hear iton Thursday.
Candace Patrice (00:27):
It's definitely Saturday, mother.
Janet Hale (00:28):
Oh, see it wouldn't, be a regular podcast if I
didn't do something like that.
Candace Patrice (00:34):
But happy Saturday, but it won't be
Saturday for them.
It'll be Thursday.
It'll be Thursday.
See, okay, there we go.
You know we have to adjust likethey do on the View day.
Janet Hale (00:41):
See, okay, there we go.
You know we have to adjust.
Like they do on the View, theyfilm their Friday shows on
Thursday and sometimes they messup.
So that's one of those moments,okay.
Candace Patrice (00:55):
We also have a guest today, and our guest is
Tannaz Tannaz, tannaz, hi,tannaz, hi, candace, how are you
today?
Good, how are you?
You know I'm doing well.
I started some CBD oilyesterday because I have
(01:19):
ulcerative colitis, so I haveinflammation in my eyes.
I also got infusions yesterday,so I'm not sure if I just like
tripled up on everything, but itmade me rest really well and so
that was really good.
So I'm doing good.
But tell us a little bit aboutyourself, tanaz.
Our guests know nothing aboutyou, so let's give them a little
(01:40):
bit about you.
Tell us who you are, what youdo.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (01:43):
Definitely so.
I'm Tanaz, I'm based in Toronto, canada, and yeah, so my
background was on disputeresolution, law and family
mediation, so it's kind of onthe reactive side of
relationships.
And there was a point, rightafter I finished school and I
started like the process, whereI was like I don't want to be
here.
Even though I've studied sevenyears, I don't want to be here.
(02:05):
I don't want to be kind of inthis space, this energetic space
of people fighting over, youknow, who gets the plate.
And it's just it wasn'taligning with me energetically
and so I took a break and I waslike, okay, what am I meant to
do?
Like, first of all, how did weget to this point?
(02:25):
How did we get to this pointwhere people who are so in love
when they get married are nowfighting over the most mundane
things?
And at that time I was running abook club.
I was living in Dubai, I wasrunning a book club and one of
the girls said have you heard ofcoaching?
I was like, no, what is that?
And so I went on Instagram.
(02:47):
I typed coach.
I was like I need to see whatthis is.
And then I figured it out andwe started this coaching program
and once I got certified I kindof niched down on relationships
because that was something thatI really wanted to help people
get on the proactive side of,and I'm a teacher archetype, so
I love to take complex concepts,simplify them, and so that was
eight years ago.
And then three years ago I wentback to school to get my
(03:08):
master's in counseling,psychotherapy, to kind of have
more tools to help bothindividuals and couples who work
with me cultivate healthyrelationships with themselves
and with others.
So that's where I am.
Candace Patrice (03:22):
I heard you say you lived in Dubai.
Yeah, yeah, I was raised there.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (03:25):
Oh wow, that's that.
I heard you say you lived inDubai, yeah yeah, I was raised
there.
Candace Patrice (03:27):
Oh wow, that's pretty cool.
So one of the things that Ifound very interesting is that
you talked about six differentways of intimacy, and I know I'm
literally jumping straight intothis, but I, we, we generally
take up so much time and ithappens so fast.
(03:47):
The hour just flies by.
I want to get there, but firstI just I want to make sure that
I've touched on how we doingtoday.
Jannie, how you doing?
I didn't ask you how you doingtoday um, I'm doing really good
and I have.
Janet Hale (04:00):
I was really touched by Tenas and when you talked
about being in the energy ofnon-productivity for our souls
and our spirit and whatever itis, and how, when we really take
a look at that and make thedecision like I deserve better
(04:24):
and go for what's best for us,and I heard that and I was like,
okay, I can get with that.
So I am doing good.
I am appreciating therelationships that I do have,
especially the one with Candace.
We had such a lovingconversation yesterday and it
was just she used me because shehad a long drive.
(04:46):
I get it.
I had a whole book to listen to.
No, no, no, no she had an hourand a half drive.
She's like Mama and we're justhaving like this deep, beautiful
exchange with one another.
Candace Patrice (04:58):
Right after I get put over by the police.
Janet Hale (05:00):
Oh, and then that was even beautiful, like let's
just live life.
And oh, and then that was evenbeautiful, like let's just live
life.
And so we were talking, and shewas talking about the CBD oil,
is it?
And I was sharing with her howfor me that I've, you know, no
sugar because it's aninflammation in the body.
You know what I mean Gettingoff the meat for me and that's
(05:23):
just not hard for me.
The meat part is not as hard asthe sugar part.
The sugar part is harder andthe dairy and saying yes to my
body Just big.
You know what I mean.
Like giving myself permissionto be good to me.
So that's been good.
It kind of connected with myCandice because I had got tied
(05:43):
up and busy and things and I hadgot tied up and busy and things
and she's always tied up andbusy and things, and for us to
be able to connect, I sleptextremely well after.
Well, actually, I watched fivehours of Grey's Anatomy because
I realized I hadn't even watchedone of them.
I'm like what?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (05:58):
am I doing?
Janet Hale (05:59):
Oh my goodness, because I said whoa, what was I
going through during that time?
Candace Patrice (06:06):
But anyway, I don't want to continue on
education, you know, for yourdoctorates.
Janet Hale (06:10):
Yeah, we yeah.
Cause right, my MD.
Cause I need that to come inthe mail, cause I watch grades,
but anyway, so I um, you knowI'm saying all that to say that
I'm doing okay.
I'm constantly evolving.
I'm wanting to be the bestversion of myself in every
moment.
Am I always successful?
Maybe not, but I strive forthat.
So that's how I'm doing.
(06:31):
That was a whole lot, butthat's how I'm doing.
Candace Patrice (06:33):
You know, tanaz , listening to you talk about
relationships and how peoplewere once in love, and it was
complex and it wasn't aligningwith your energy and our hour
and a half yesterday we actuallygot to share about our energies
and how we're growing with eachother, and she read a poem to
(06:53):
me that is very near and dear toher heart, from Khalil Cabran,
who talks about how yourchildren come through you, but
they're not yours.
Janet Hale (07:05):
You know the poem?
Yeah, I can tell.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (07:07):
Oh, wow, so do you have the prophet?
Yes, of course yes.
My mom would always say it tome.
She would always say you camethrough me, but you don't belong
to me.
Janet Hale (07:17):
I don't own you.
Candace Patrice (07:19):
Oh my goodness.
Janet Hale (07:20):
Oh, look at us, look at this.
Candace Patrice (07:21):
Oh, wow, okay.
Janet Hale (07:39):
Tear.
Oh, look at us, look at this,oh, wow.
Candace Patrice (07:41):
Okay, teardrop, but sharing how we're growing
and how she stood out to her, orat least that she was triggered
by to read the poem and how.
So she's looking to me to learnfor the future, and now I'm
looking to my daughter to learnfor the future.
And also, just I was sharingwith her.
(08:03):
She was like you know I don'tknow if you believe it or
whatever and I was sharing withher how I was having a
conversation with God and justasking if I could keep her.
Like, please, let me keep her.
I know she's not mine, but Iwant her, I want her so bad and
I want to be here with her.
So, please, please, please, letme keep her.
So you know, just that wholerelationship and communication
(08:23):
and the intimacy of parent-child.
And even this morning I woke upand realized I had been holding
on to an idea of the pastopposed to manifesting something
in the future, of a futurerelationship.
And I was mind blown futurerelationship and I was mind
(08:49):
blown so, uh, yeah, that wasjust an interesting and, I guess
, a lining thing that hadhappened I also.
So I got pulled over yesterday,um, and my headlight is out,
and I was in Saginaw, which isan hour and a half away from
here and immediately the officewhen he pulled me over on a two
lane ditch kind of area.
So I didn't know what to do.
This has never happened to me,so I put my hazards on and I'm
(09:09):
just so.
Janet Hale (09:10):
I'm on the phone, by the way.
Candace Patrice (09:12):
Yeah, and I'm like I don't know what I'm doing
.
I don't know.
So I pull up to an intersection, I kind of pull to the side
because there's a little curbthere, and as soon as he gets
out of the car and I just go, Ididn't know what I was doing.
So that's why it took so long.
He was like I was wondering andso I was like, yeah, but I just
got.
I just went on about my night,how I went to go support an
artist.
I shared with him how there wasa part of the jazz section
(09:36):
where I thought about mydeceased father.
I could see him sitting therelistening and you know I just
shared my experience Nowlistening.
And you know I just shared myexperience now because I have
ulcerative colitis, I haveredness in my eyes.
So he's like do you smoke, doyou drink?
And I'm like no.
He's like okay, on a scale ofzero being very sober, 10 being
off the chart, not sober, whatare you?
(09:57):
I was like zero.
I had two kids in the back too.
And he's like, okay, he's stillconcerned because of this
redness in my eyes.
So I can't, I give him mylicense.
I can't get into my register,my insurance, cause I'm logged
out, don't know the password andmy registration, I don't know
where it is.
So he comes back to the car andhe's like um, so is there
(10:17):
anything wrong with your eyes?
I go actually, yeah, so I pullout my prednisone.
I say so, I pull out myprednisone.
I said so, I take um prednisonefor the inflammation of my eyes
.
I just had infusions today andI was like I could pull up my
medical records for you.
He's like uh, no, that's okay,just follow my finger.
And so after I did the fingertest, he's like okay, you're
fine.
He's like, yeah, your eyes, bythem being red, I just wasn't
sure.
He's like then you put it up tothe stop sign.
(10:37):
Because he had me move up.
He's like put up to the stopsign real slow.
I said well, I didn't want youto think I ran the stop sign, so
I made sure I stopped, stayedand then went.
So we just kind of had thisbeautiful exchange about what my
night was like and he gave me awarning and let me go.
So I really got to get thatheadlight fixed.
But anywho, that's how my nightand day and things have been
(11:01):
and I think we're all caught up.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (11:02):
Tanez, anything you want to give us,
anything you want to share withus, Well, I'm originally Persian
and our new year coincides withspring equinox, so we had our
Persian new year on Thursday,5.01 am, eastern Standard Time,
and it's been so lovely becausetraditionally we deep clean our
(11:24):
homes and you know all theclothes that need to go to
donation boxes, everything thatneeds to kind of like creating
space for new energy, new,abundant, new, healthy energy
light to come in.
So and we celebrate with youknow, friends and family, and we
have a beautiful altar that weset up.
So it's just been that energyof cleaning, releasing, purging
(11:46):
and having faith and new, moreempowering energy to come in.
So that's what's been happening.
Candace Patrice (11:52):
Oh, that is so beautiful.
Janet Hale (11:55):
Happy New Year.
Candace Patrice (11:56):
Thank you, yes, happy New Year.
I think I'm going to cleantoday too.
Janet Hale (12:00):
I know I was like dang.
Candace Patrice (12:01):
I know, right, I'm looking around like and they
can't see your background, butI can know I was like dang, I
know, right, I'm looking aroundand they can't see your
background, but I can.
And I was thinking that fromthe time we were here, like man,
it's so organized and cleanback there.
Janet Hale (12:12):
Yeah, hers is, and that picture is awesome, by the
way.
Candace Patrice (12:15):
It is.
It's so lovely, right?
Okay, thank you for sharingthat with us.
Okay, I guess now we can justsee this is how it gets so long.
We share, we connect, we build.
You know and I know the podcastpeople it's for guests and them
listening, but it's also for us.
(12:36):
It's also our time.
It's our time to learn, it'sour time to grow, it's our time
to be better.
We're constantly, as we shootthe podcast, growing and
learning, which is why eachepisode is so different, because
so much happens between thelast episode and this one, the
last guest in this one, and theknowledge that we've taken from
(12:57):
all of the previous experiencesin our lives and moving forward
and creating the space to beable to learn and grow, right?
So, oh my gosh, okay, I'm soexcited.
So, to that, I know I'm justsuper interested in those six
different types of intimacy andwhy they matter.
(13:17):
When I saw that come in, I waslike I want to know more, share
more.
So please, please, please, ifyou don't mind us getting
started there and then we canjust kind of venture off
wherever we end up.
But could you share that withus?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (13:32):
Yeah, definitely so.
When we think of intimacy,traditionally we think of, like,
sexual or physical intimacy,but actually our bodies and our
soul crave different forms ofintimacy.
Bodies and our soul cravedifferent forms of intimacy.
And so this idea that I have isthis idea of six intimacy tanks
, and I'd like to visualize mybody like a car with, like, six
(13:54):
different fuel tanks.
And this is a really importantconcept because it allows us to
be very intentional with ourrelationships, how they show up,
and to kind of remove thepressure from one person to be
everything for us.
And now Dr Sarparell wastalking about this a while back
(14:16):
of why we're in this day and agewhere our husband needs to be
our husband, our boyfriend, ourpartner, our best friend, our
confidant, our do-it-all are toomuch.
It's too much that we'reputting on one person.
It's the same way vice versa.
If someone expects us to beeverything for them all the time
, it can feel overwhelming.
(14:38):
It doesn't mean that therearen't those moments where that
person is everything for us,where that person is everything
for us, but we want to havedifferent people in our circle
that can fill these tanks whenone person doesn't have the
emotional capacity or the timeto do it.
So what are these six tanks?
(14:58):
The physical.
So physical is non-sexual touch.
The person that you hug, holdhands, cuddle with.
It could be a parent, it couldbe a sibling, a best friend, or
even when we, like us Persians,when we greet someone we always
do three kisses and a hug.
So people that your body feelssafe to engage in non-sexual
(15:19):
touch with.
Then we have sexual touch, andsexual intimacy.
For monogamous relationships,that's your partner.
For non-monogamous, there'smore people than that, so that's
those two.
And then we go into thenon-physical realm.
So we have emotional intimacy.
(15:40):
It's people that you feelemotionally safe with to discuss
your feelings, to discuss yourexperience, your internal world,
without judgment.
So the conversation that youand your mom had yesterday is a
sign of emotional intimacy beingpresent there.
So you guys were kind offueling each other's tanks with
(16:00):
that.
Then we have experientialintimacy.
These are people you experiencelife with.
You go to a restaurant together, you go to a concert together,
you travel together, and sosometimes people come to me and
be like that friend of mineshe's only there to go out and
have dinner, but she's not therefor me emotionally and I'm like
(16:23):
that's the tank she's able andwilling to fill.
Is that enough for you?
Shift the perspective fromshe's only doing that to she's
filling a tank that maybesomeone else doesn't have the
capacity or the willingness orthe desire to do.
So that's experiential intimacy.
We have two more.
One is intellectual intimacyPeople will intellectually
(16:46):
stimulate you.
Right now, the three of us areintellectually stimulating one
another.
We're sharing concepts, we'relearning together, we're growing
.
It could be about history,psychology, life, anything,
science, but it's thoseintellectually stimulating
conversations.
Maybe your boss isintellectually stimulating you,
(17:09):
maybe it's your co-workers, yourclassmates, your children.
Even so, that's intellectual.
And then the last one isspiritual.
So it's the people that youhave deep spiritual connection
with.
It could be topics related toreligion, spirituality,
meditation, but it could also beyour belief systems, your value
(17:32):
systems.
So having conversations aroundthat.
So, now that we have all six, Iask you know my clients and I'm
even extending it to theaudience now go through the list
of people in your life, takeinventory who fills which tank.
So when, for example, let's say,for me, my emotional has my
(17:52):
fiance, my mom, my brother and,like let's say, two of my best
friends, if my fiance comes homeand I'm realizing that external
stressors are overwhelming himand I have something on my heart
that needs to be seen andshared, I can realize that in
that moment my fiance can't holdspace for me.
Great, I remember the list.
(18:12):
I can go to my mom, I can go tomy best friend, and so we lean
into community.
We realize, you know, peoplecan fill different roles for us,
and that's the beauty of life.
And take it even a step furtherwhich roles am I filling for
who?
Who am I for other people?
We always want people to be thebest friend for us.
Am I being the best friend oram I just in someone's life and
(18:37):
not filling any of their tanks?
We want to be intentional withour relationships with our
relationships.
Candace Patrice (18:43):
Are these six principles of intimacy?
I'm probably saying that wrong.
Are these six things that youcame up with, or did you study
these?
Or is it something that yourealized in your own self was
the need and was able topinpoint those?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (19:03):
No, I've studied it.
So there are concepts that havebeen grown over the years.
First we had the four, and thenwe had the five and now we have
the six.
And it's a topic that I learnedfrom Elizabeth Earnshaw.
She is a marriage and familylicensed therapist in the States
.
I love her.
She just gave out her secondbook called Till Stress Do Us
(19:25):
Part, and it's all about howexternal stressors impact our
relationships.
So it is a topic that is in thefamily and relationship therapy
realm.
But it's something that I havetested over the years and I have
realized okay, it makes sense.
And you know, I've taken it astep further myself and I've
(19:47):
asked my clients ask yourselfwhich ones are your
non-negotiables when you'remeeting someone, when you're
meeting a partner.
Because you know, for somepeople, let's say, maybe
intellectual, they don't want tobe intellectual, they're okay
not being intellectuallystimulated by their partner,
perfect.
For some, let's say, someone isasexual, maybe sexual intimacy
(20:07):
is not a priority for them.
So there is no one size fitsall.
But you got to ask yourself andbe honest with yourself If I
had to choose three that were mynon-negotiable, that my partner
needs to embody in some form orcapacity, what would it be.
And so you have more awarenessgoing into that dating, that
(20:28):
relationship, that friendship.
Candace Patrice (20:30):
Was there a situation in your life so I know
you were doing law and just thewhole idea that people, you
love these people and now it'swe're fighting over who gets the
cat, who gets the things in thehome, who gets the car, who
gets little minute things, the401k and it's you know, all of
(20:52):
these trivial things that makethings horrible along a divide.
Was there a situation in yourlife that made you say no more,
no more?
It?
Was it caused somethingstressor in you or energy that
really made you know this was it.
That's the last straw.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (21:14):
It wasn't one particular thing, but for me
, I started studyingspirituality around when I was
17.
My mom was extremely spiritualand so she kind of helped me
dive into this realm and Ibecame a lawyer out of social
conditioning, because, beingPersian, you're either a lawyer,
a doctor or an engineer.
And so for me, afteraccomplishing that and being in
(21:38):
that space where I felt it wasthe energy of conflict and
conflict is good andrelationship is good to have
conflict, but constructiveconflict and respectful conflict
and collaborative conflict.
I like to call it fighting fear.
That element was missing and itwas a very harsh energy for my
(22:00):
soul.
So I felt very constricted, Ididn't feel expansive and it was
impacting the way I was seeingthe world.
You know how they say likelawyers are, like they're
pessimistic, they always see theworst case scenario.
And that just wasn't theexperience I wanted.
I wanted to see the best casescenario.
All my spiritual teachers weresaying see the good in
(22:22):
everything, see the light, seethe blessing.
So the environment just wasn'tconducive for my soul.
Of course, there are lots ofgreat lawyers out there doing
really amazing work, but for meit was.
I don't want to be part of that.
I want to actually help, and myparents were divorced, but they
had a very peaceful divorce,and so I wanted to kind of come
(22:43):
and say, okay, even if we wantto separate, I have couples that
I help them consciouslydecouple.
But you know, on average,research shows us that couples
take six years before they gethelp.
So I want to kind of givecouples the tools so that they
don't feel that way, and also tonormalize getting help.
(23:03):
And so, yeah, it was just ashift.
I'm an Aquarius, I lovecommunity, I love bringing
people together.
So I was like I want to be partof something bigger than that.
I want to help people reallyhave these fulfilling
relationships and I want to makesure that I believe in
relationships instead of believethat everything ends a part of
(23:30):
the.
Candace Patrice (23:30):
You want it to be the preventative opposed to
the treatment.
Yeah, how did your familyrespond to you becoming a coach?
Because I heard you say beencouraging, the expectation is
the lawyer, the doctor, the uphere.
So you made this switch andit's like what?
How did your family andcommunity respond to that?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (23:50):
Oof.
My friends thought I was havinglike a midlife crisis.
My parents were just like theydidn't get it.
My dad didn't get it,definitely.
He didn't get it the firstcouple of years.
He thought it's a hobby.
He's like, okay, she'll comearound.
And then I think it subsided.
(24:10):
Their fears subsided when Iwent back to school for my
master's in counseling,psychotherapy.
So they're like okay, there'slike an academic degree now
associated to it.
But when I finished that, Iremember my mom was like both my
parents were like so when areyou getting your PhD?
And so I realized you know whatthis is.
Just their conditioning, blessthem.
It's like my.
Both my parents were like sowhen are you getting your PhD?
And so I realized you know whatthis is.
Just their conditioning, blessthem.
It's.
(24:30):
You know it's the way they seelife.
I love them for it.
It comes always from a place ofgood intentions and you know,
multiple realities can coexistand over the years they've seen
like the workshops I do, theretreats, the books I've
published.
So they're like you know it's,I can't live their journey for
them.
But they're becoming more andmore open to it.
(24:52):
But yeah, I'm pretty shocked.
Candace Patrice (24:54):
Was your decision to get the degree a
part of satisfying your familyor a part of satisfying yourself
?
Was it for you or what you werehearing from the family, like,
okay, let me get a degree to gowith this coaching so that
everybody's feeling better, orbecause you could be a coach
without any kind of degree, justthe experience?
(25:14):
So when you did, what was theangle behind that?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (25:19):
That was actually my clients, because I
realized that coaching is veryfuture oriented.
I love that we're working withbelief systems, but I realized
that, okay, there is a part ofour childhood that influences
psychodynamic therapy just goingback to the root, and that I
think it was my clients.
(25:40):
It was 100% my clients becauseI wanted to give them, I wanted
to help them more and I realizedI didn't have the skill set for
it.
And so, yeah, it was my clients, being able to help them
realize how their past wasinfluencing both their present
and their future.
I'm surprisingly, my parentswere not.
(26:01):
They didn't even know I wasgoing back until I was like in
the program.
And then they're like, oh wow,good for you.
Candace Patrice (26:09):
Okay, I just have all of these questions.
This is my last question.
I'm going to let Janet chime inif she has any questions.
And you're on mute, by the way,just so you know.
How do you help your clientsrewire their thinking?
Because if they've been in apattern for so long or they're
(26:32):
getting to a place where it'slike, okay, we need help, how do
you actually help them changethat perspective?
What are some of the tools thatthey could use to move forward,
to help be that preventative,before getting to where they
need lawyers?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (26:48):
Great question.
So there's two parts to it.
One is the individual work andone's the relational work.
When we're looking at theindividual work, there's two
parts Again.
There's the cognitive andthere's the somatic.
So first, cognitivelyunderstanding something why am I
the way I am?
Okay, let's look into yourchildhood, let's look into your
belief systems, let's look intoyour subconscious mind.
(27:11):
So there's an intellectual partof it which is part of talk
therapy.
And then we go into the somatic.
So what is the somatic?
Body Hold Score is a great book,and what it is is the memories,
the experiences get stored intoour body and so, on a cellular
level, they are influencing theway we show up to the world.
(27:32):
And so when people cognitivelyunderstand something,
intellectually understand it,but they're not changing it,
means there is a disconnectbetween body and mind.
So we engage the body now.
So, whether it's practicingthrough breath, work the body
now.
So, whether it's practicingthrough breath work, through
grounding, through even simple,simple tasks of shaking it off,
(27:53):
going for a walk, stretching thebody, you know, doing R's with
our tongue, engaging our senses,holding a warm cup of tea,
rubbing ice cubes on our wrists,what we're doing is we're
bringing the body, because whenthere's a disconnected usually
means the body is stuck in asympathetic state, which is the
(28:13):
fight or flight, freeze or fawnresponse.
We want to make it feel safe,for the body to come into the
parasympathetic, which is therest or digest.
So we engage the body, and thisis what's missing for many.
Many Engage the body in it.
This is what's missing for many, many, many people.
And so those somatic practicesreally help me come back into
(28:33):
safety, to come into a spacewhere change is possible,
because the mind is wired forsurvival, and survival is always
related to safety, and we willalways choose familiar chaos
over unfamiliar peace.
That's just the way the mind istrained and wired.
So now the body feels safe, nowI understand it intellectually.
(28:56):
That's half the formula.
The second half is therelational tools.
So now I help couples okay,even individuals.
How are you communicating?
Can we learn skills that helpus communicate in a non-critical
, non-defensive way?
How are you fighting?
Let's learn the tools offighting fear.
(29:18):
How are you expressing yourneeds?
Do you even know how to expressyour needs?
Because no one's a mind reader.
So these are all skills it'svery skill-based that we weren't
taught in school, most of us.
It wasn't modeled to us in ourparents' relationships or our
caregivers' relationships.
So it's like kind of we'relearning everything together and
(29:38):
just like, okay, this is theformula.
So half of it is skill set andhalf of it is inner work and
then the inner work is dividedinto intellectual and somatic.
Candace Patrice (29:50):
Thank you, yeah , yeah, yeah, mom, go ahead.
Did you have any?
Go ahead.
Janet Hale (29:55):
I did, I did.
I appreciate all that you saidand I really appreciated the
part where we have to get withself, because that, in my
opinion, is the root of allthings how we react to things,
(30:16):
how we take care of ourselvesemotionally, how we're able to
regulate our emotions.
And then, when you talked aboutthe child, how do we take care
of the child?
I call it the child within.
They stopped saying that a longtime ago.
But how do you take care ofthat little person inside of you
and make that little personsafe so that the big person can
take care of it?
Also, you made me think about asituation, that friendship
(30:38):
relationship, and it ended, andI was talking to Candace about
it and I said you know, Irealized something because in
everything, in all relationships, I always take a look at Janet.
You know I realized somethingbecause in everything, in all
relationships, I'd always take alook at Janet.
You know, like, what was mypart in it?
What was you know?
What was I trying to get fromit?
Why did I tolerate, why didn'tI?
(30:59):
You know, all those things WithCandace's father.
We divorced before he passed, Iguess, maybe a year, I don't
know.
He passed, maybe a year, Idon't know, but we were both
kind of mad at each other andnow the anger has turned into
compassion because I recognizehe did the best he knew how to
(31:20):
do and he gave his whatever.
That was his, all Okay.
And recognizing that takes awaythe anger, you know.
So it's not a fault findingsituation.
It's about coming back to me, um, and the last uh thing I was in
(31:43):
and I said you know the wordlonely.
I said I'm looking at that worda little different now, candice
.
I said lonely for me is mylonging to love myself.
And let me be enough, it's justall about.
And when you talked about thespirituality, the being familiar
(32:08):
with, I'm going to call itdysfunction, usually use another
word opposed to the healthierway, because we're used to that.
And moving away from that, Ithink it's just helpful for
everyone to understand that.
And I understand you've talkedabout couples, but I love the
fact that you talk about theindividual, because if we're
both all messed up and nobody'staking care of ourselves, then
(32:31):
what are we sitting in front ofyou for Right?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (32:34):
Yeah, so I appreciate that.
I'd love that you shared that.
I'd love that.
And as you were speaking, I wasreminded of something my mom
always said when I was growingup.
She said when you point onefinger to someone, you're
pointing three at yourself.
So you know, pause, askyourself.
You know, how did I show up?
(32:56):
How did I contribute?
Sometimes it's as simple asmaybe I need to learn how to set
more culturally sensitiveboundaries so that I don't feel
taken advantage of.
I don't feel you know, someonecrossing my boundaries, maybe
something like that, or maybeit's my tone, my boundaries,
maybe something like that, ormaybe it's my tone.
You know we're so quick toblame others, but if we really
paused and said, okay, how can Ibe better?
(33:16):
How can I do better?
How can I connect more to you?
Know my godlike nature?
What would the divine in me,how would the divine in me
respond?
Sometimes I get the feedbackthat I'm too naive in life.
My mom's like sometimes you'retoo naive.
But I'd rather see the good ineverything and everyone, because
that helps me connect to thegood in myself more so.
(33:38):
But yeah, I completely,completely resonate with what
you were saying.
So thank you for sharing.
Candace Patrice (33:44):
I love that.
I too have have that.
I don't that trait the naivety,naivety, naivety, you know the
word where I rather see the goodin everyone and there's only.
There is one situation that wasrecent and I was struggling so
(34:06):
hard because I had so muchtension in this situation and
finally I decided to disengagefrom the tension within myself
and I had I was writing down.
There are three things that I'vetried to go into every
situation with, and it'snonjudgmentalness, it is
(34:29):
unconditional love and it isforgiveness.
And one of those things thathas to happen during that time
is challenging.
I have to challenge myself toreflect on what it is that I'm
bringing to the situation thatcould cause tension.
And then what would I need if Iwas the other person, how would
(34:50):
I need that person to respondand what can I do in this
situation to disengage thattension?
And one of those things thathappened in this situation was
one I had to remember if thereis a two-way tension, there is
something that I'm doing andasking for the forgiveness in
(35:13):
that, and whatever it is that Ifeel is causing tension in this
situation, how can I trulyforgive them and move forward
with what I have control of?
Because I don't have control oftheir emotions, what their
(35:33):
perspective is.
But I can control how I show upin the situation and making
that choice mentally to say nomore, no more tension, like I
let it go, I release, I forgive.
I'm going to show thisunconditional love and I'm
(35:56):
finding that my spiritualconnection, my relationship to
God, my studying and what Jesuswould do really helps, and you
know, that's, for me, myspiritual situation.
What would Jesus do and how washe walking this earth?
And I'm watching the Chosen andone of the things I was sharing
with my mom last night there'san episode where the Roman I'm
learning the history too, ofRoman, the Jewish tradition and
(36:17):
everything I'm like what, okay,anyway, so there's, they were
able to have the Jews carrytheir things for up to a mile.
So they get to the mile, walkthe mile marker and they're like
okay, give me your stuff.
And Jesus is like well, isn'tyour destination a mile up?
They're like, yeah, but we canonly make you guys do this for a
mile.
He said, if anybody asks, tellthem we offered.
(36:38):
And he begins to you know, go.
And it's like wow, to continueon with something.
And and their heartsimmediately started changing and
you could see them like well,give me my helmet, you know,
like I, you don't have to carrythis.
I got you Like, and it's likeputting that love in our
(37:00):
situations and it's going beyondwhere you get to a point where
it's like, okay, we've agreed tosettle the tension, but what
can you do beyond that agreeance?
That really shows like I'mchoosing love, I'm choosing
forgiveness.
This isn't just something I'msaying, but I'm going to
practice it above and beyond.
So I don't know, that's justsomething I was, as you were
(37:24):
talking, and something that I'mpracticing, and it takes that
practice on a daily basis and Iwas sharing with my mom, as I'm
going through this situation,that I'm going to have to make
this choice every day until itbecomes natural, until it feels.
It may not feel normal at first, but it's challenging our minds
to do something different,because every day that we wake
(37:47):
up and we go into thesesystematic ways that we behave
and these habits, our bodies gointo autopilot because we're
used to it.
So we have to challengeourselves to do something
different.
I'm reading a book and it talksabout how, even though the
future is unknown, we putourselves in these autopilots
(38:07):
where we really know what theday is going to look like, and
anything that challenges what wealready know becomes an
inconvenience.
But if we allow ourselves to beopen to what the day brings,
then it's not an inconvenience,it's really a blessing.
It's like oh well, look at that, that happened in my day to day
.
Isn't that awesome, you know?
(38:28):
So yeah, just, I don't know, Idon't do it.
I'm always hopeful that ourlisteners get to take this
(38:50):
experience too and go, ah, Ididn't think of it like that.
Or ah, you're challenging me todo something different, to be
better, to go about my day justa little different.
I guess it's really my hopethat this podcast remains a
marker throughout history forpeople to look back and do
(39:12):
something different to maketheir lives better.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (39:15):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
I love that.
Three things came to mind asyou were sharing and I just
wanted to touch on that.
Yes, the forgiveness, sobeautiful.
I want to take it a stepfurther and say we're forgiving
the other person, we need toforgive the situation, but we
also need to forgive ourselves,extending that grace to ourself
(39:37):
of you know, I'm doing the bestI can.
When I know better, I do better.
When I know better, I showbetter, show up better.
So just extending that energyof forgiveness to self, also so
deeply healing, in my opinion,that sometimes we forget that
we're extending forgiveness toothers but not to self.
And then this experience.
(39:58):
When you said experience, wedon't see people objectively
right.
Every experience of reality isbased on our thoughts, beliefs,
opinions and perceptions.
So the way I see you is verydifferent than maybe the way
janet sees you, the way otherpeople see you.
So we really are floatingexperiences for humanity.
(40:21):
And if we can take that and belike I get goosebumps when I
think about it because you'vegiven me goosebumps, I really
it's, it's all an experience.
Nothing is real Right, nothingis objectively real.
I can't say like Janet is, youknow any trait?
(40:45):
So I can't say like Janet is aperfectionist, right, because
that is my perception.
I'm experiencing her throughthe lens of perfection.
You might experience herthrough a different lens.
So if we open that, if we'reopen to that idea, I think we'll
stop trying to dictate topeople how they should be or
(41:06):
what they should do and we kindof just accept everyone as they
show up, without expectations,without judgment, exactly as you
said, with pure love, thateveryone at the end of the day
is a child of God and they aredoing the best they can.
Maybe their best is not enoughfor us, and that's okay.
It means we don't want toentertain them, but that's their
(41:27):
best.
And slowly the level ofconsciousness for everyone,
including ourselves, will go up.
So it really helps with thatnonjudgment and just acceptance.
Candace Patrice (41:37):
Oh, my goodness , I love it.
Janet was over there lightingup when forgiving self, because
that is one of her staples.
Janet Hale (41:46):
When you were talking, I thought the exact
same.
I was like I wrote it down.
I was like, okay, we'reforgiving all these other people
.
When the forgiveness startsright here I'm pointing to
myself audience it starts righthere.
I have to forgive myself forthe thoughts that I may have had
about somebody that was somessed up, for the thoughts that
(42:08):
I may have had about somebodythat was so messed up, you know.
And so that was a thing thatcame to mind.
The other was never want any myanger to meet someone's pain.
I never want that to meet,because it is just not cool.
And then the spiritualconnection I thought about.
And Candice said you know mybeliefs and I'm not a Christian
(42:32):
woman.
Right, I see myself as aspiritual person.
Candice is a Christian woman,and but we, we, we can get
together and have very spiritual, meaningful conversations,
because the baseline is the same.
And so I thought about that.
And then I thought about thetriggers, because some people
(42:54):
can trigger something in us thatwe don't recognize.
You mentioned the body keepsthe score, and so once I'm
triggered, sometimes I don'teven know why I'm triggered, I'm
just triggered by somethinguntil I sit alone somewhere, and
sometimes it'll come to me Likethat triggered me because I've
never felt heard and thisreminded me of a moment when I
(43:18):
didn't feel heard or important,or that I mattered, and so it
triggered me into the fight mode, right, because I need you to
(43:39):
hear me.
At any cost, please hear me.
So those are some of the thingsI thought about.
Oh, and forgiveness shementioned, and the forgiveness
is great, and I will say thisthis is something I say often,
it's not my original saying butforgiveness is granted, but
sometimes access is denied andwe need to be comfortable in
that, because sometimes peoplefeel like well, well, I forgave
(44:00):
and you know, and so just comeon back no you don't have to
come back.
No, no, no, no, because theforgiveness is here.
But you talked about being safe.
Once I recognize it's not asafe space, I have a choice, and
that's the whole thing at all.
In my opinion, comes back towho we are, the choices that we
(44:21):
make, each decision that we make.
If I engage back and forth withsomeone and it's a very toxic
situation I need to take a lookat Janet, because something in
me is enjoying something in you,in order for us to go back and
forth, because I'm gainingsomething out of this.
But a lot of times folks don'twant to admit that because it's
(44:44):
easier to point the finger atthe other person and what
they've done, and then I have togo.
What was that about for me, youknow?
So those are some of the thingsthat came up.
When Candice was talking.
I was like on fire.
She's like I don't know whereI'm at in the conversation and
I'm thinking you set me on fire.
So yeah, that's my comment onthat.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (45:25):
Oh yeah, that's.
Take the example of people whoare dating in the dating world
and they'll accept breadcrumbs,right.
So this hot, cold energy, thispush-pull energy, and it's
exactly that the part of medoesn't feel worthy of being
seen.
So why will entertain someonewho doesn't fully see me?
(45:47):
I think this is so importantand I'm seeing this more and
more with this whole concept ofsituationships in this day and
age of like we're not in arelationship, we're in a
situationship.
It doesn't serve someone.
Everyone I've spoken to 99%don't want to be in a
situationship.
They just find themselves in it.
I think it's such an importanttopic to talk about.
(46:08):
If you're in it, look, pause,exactly what you said, Jen, and
what part of me is gainingsomething from this, and that's.
You know it takes a lot ofcourage to realize that's messed
up, but you know the work, thebrave do the inner work, and so
(46:28):
find the courage within you tokind of pause, but so, so
powerful.
Thank you for sharing that.
Candace Patrice (46:34):
Thank you, that's so good.
Wow, I don't know if I shouldshare this on the podcast.
Janet Hale (46:41):
Oh maybe you should, I don't know.
I share some stuff.
Come on, girl.
Candace Patrice (46:46):
You know, after my divorce I was in a
relationship, situation-ship,entertainmanship with a good
friend.
Well, we developed a greatfriendship which then turned
into, I guess, a relationship.
It really never had realboundaries on it, to call it
(47:08):
that.
But what I realized was thatthe love we cultivated started
to have these expectations of arelationship.
That was too much for me, in asense that I realized I couldn't
give my full self for arelationship.
But there were things that Igained in this that were really
(47:31):
good.
And looking at some of theintimacy, it was the
intellectual intimacy.
I enjoy that part.
I enjoy the physical intimacy,the sexual intimacy.
You know there was a lot.
But then there were parts that I, just coming out of a marriage,
(47:52):
wasn't ready to give and also Ineeded to be a little selfish.
I didn't have the time to giveto a relationship.
A relationship requires morethan just breadcrumbs.
Relationship requires more thanjust breadcrumbs.
And to look in that and say youdon't deserve what I'm giving
(48:12):
because I can't give you whatyou deserve, and being able to
look back at that and say I knowyou deserve so much more.
So here's what I can give,here's what I can't give, and if
that's not enough.
I respect that and I'm here tofind a common ground and you let
(48:35):
me know where you are and let'sfind a space that works, and if
it doesn't, it doesn't.
But I have to be honest withmyself.
I have to be honest with youbecause if I'm not honest, we'll
end up in this push, pull ofexpectations, and neither of us
deserve that.
So you know it's, and I'mfinding that since I've had that
(48:59):
conversation, that therelationship is no longer a
situation but a real friendship.
It's what it should be for thisseason of my life and we're
both flourishing and enjoyingeach other more as friends and
giving each other what we cangive each other in this season,
(49:20):
and maybe that will look like arelationship in the future of
partnership.
Maybe partnership looksdifferent than boyfriend,
girlfriend, husband, wife.
It's purely this is what we'reable to give and do and flourish
, because, at the end of the day, we want to grow, we don't want
to be stagnant, and I can seethe best parts of you and
(49:44):
cultivate the best parts of youwhere I can and we don't have to
sit in.
Well, I'm expecting you to giveme all six parts of intimacy
because and I need you to showup this way.
It's hey, this is what I cangive and are we able to accept
that.
So it's beautiful.
I'm enjoying him so much moreagain because it's back to where
(50:05):
it was in the beginning, beforesome of these expectations, and
we laugh more and we joke more,but it is the true space that
we're in right now and I thinkthat we'll continue to grow in
this space as friends right nowand not have the expectation of
the unknown, which is not realbecause it doesn't exist.
(50:28):
You know, what exists is what'shere in front of us right now
and we'll be open and we'll behonest about where we are and
we'll work through those things.
And you know, I encourage himto.
You know, if there is arelationship, a person who can
feed you in all of those areas,Take that, because we deserve to
(50:51):
have that in our lives.
And I know for me, I want tolove on me right now.
I need to love on me right nowand if that can come across
selfish in a relationship, solet me know where I am, say
where I am, be honest about that.
(51:11):
And I don't know.
It's just so beautiful.
I love me right now and themore I can love me, the more I
can bring into a partnership andwhatever that's going to look
like, which is unknown.
I don't know what the futurebrings for whoever it's going to
bring it with, but I'm open tothis journey and it's so
(51:38):
beautiful.
It is so beautiful.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (51:44):
Thank you for vulnerably sharing that.
Yes, I think it's so important,exactly as you said, to be
honest with self of, like whatdo I have the capacity for at
this moment in my life and thisseason in my life?
And you know, sometimes peopleask me, like is it bad that I'm
like dating multiple people atthe same time?
Like, just an example, I'm likedo the people you're dating
(52:04):
know?
that Like as long as you'rebeing honest with that and
saying hey, by the way, I'm likeyou know, I'm dating other
people or I'm this People.
Honesty is we're missing thatbecause sometimes we get fed
this narrative of manipulationand games and just the narrative
(52:25):
sometimes is wrong.
And so if we can lean intohonesty and your example was a
beautiful, you know portrayal ofthat and you know expectations
ruin friendships, let's say ruindynamics curiosity saves it,
right.
So curiosity, I'm curious aboutyou, about your internal world.
I want to know you better.
I want to understand you better.
I want to see you better.
(52:45):
I want to see myself world.
I want to know you better.
I want to understand you better.
I want to see you better.
I want to see myself better.
I want to understand myselfbetter.
Let this be a space where bothof us feel safe enough to bring
the parts of us that feel safeto be seen, because if I'm not
(53:06):
bringing a part of me into adynamic, it means in that moment
that part doesn't feel safe asa result of past trauma, as a
result of whatever that hashappened.
So let me extend grace and timeto myself In the meantime,
having that space.
I know that when I'm ready,when this part is ready, she
will come.
Yeah, she will come.
Candace Patrice (53:27):
Oh so.
Janet Hale (53:30):
I felt that and I almost cried.
Candace Patrice (53:32):
I did too.
Janet Hale (53:34):
All right now, tanev , because when she's ready, she
will come.
Candace Patrice (53:46):
Honesty is courage is what I see you for I
did.
Honesty is courage is what Isee you, for I did.
Janet Hale (53:49):
Honesty is courage.
It is courage to be correct.
Candice, you have, even as achild, have been an honest
person and I'll never forget andI know, I always tell this
story on the podcast.
One day she was a kid, I guessin middle school, I can't
remember and she said you know,mom, I'm not lying.
(54:13):
And I said, okay, I'm lookingat her like okay.
She said you want to know why?
Cause this is Candace.
I said why?
Because if I tell the truth,what's it going to do to me?
So why not just tell the truth?
I thought that was socourageous and it helped me see
where I was not honest insituations because I was fearful
(54:39):
of the outcome.
I never said that before on thepodcast, but anyway, it's a
safe space, so we all out here.
But yeah, so yeah, and Iappreciate her being able to tap
into that at such a young ageand recognize that the honesty
(55:01):
is a risk that she was willingto take as a child.
Candace Patrice (55:08):
Yeah.
So, naz, you have created avery calm and safe place and I
know it's my podcast, but stillyou, you have made this really
nice and I'm really grateful forthe time that you have given us
(55:32):
, for the honesty, the toolsthat you've given us.
So I want to thank you andhonor you in this space right
now for the work that you aredoing, for the work that you
have done and the work that youwill do, that you'll be able to
share at some point in thefuture.
That doesn't exist yet.
(55:52):
Oh, I can't hear you, tanaz, isyour speaker off?
Janet Hale (55:57):
No, I'm not oh great Okay cool.
Candace Patrice (56:01):
So yes, we are.
See, I told you, this hour goesby so fast.
We're already here and I'm sad,so of course I want to hold on,
hold on.
I want to give the suicideprevention lifeline for anyone
(56:22):
who needs it.
It is 988.
You can call or text 24 hours aday, seven days a week, 365
days a year, finding your safeplaces, your safe people.
Yeah, go ahead, mom.
Janet Hale (56:37):
I wanted to say, when you were talking about the
work that she does, and Ithought she did her work today,
I know.
Candace Patrice (56:44):
I know I was like she's, you know.
Janet Hale (56:47):
So thank you for that.
Very appreciate it.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (56:54):
And of course, the listeners, I'm sure,
will love this.
Thank you both.
Thank you both for creating thespace.
It's been so lovely to shareand to talk and to have this
conversation, and I just want toleave, you know, the audience
with one thing and it'ssomething that I've been talking
a lot about with my clientsthis past week and that is your
(57:14):
presence matters, and if you'reon this earth that you know
you're everyone is born with aunique blueprint.
You are meant to be here toshare gifts, to share your
passions, and don't let anyexternal life stressor or
circumstance convince you thatyou do not have a place at the
(57:34):
table.
I think that now more than ever, with everything that's
happening, it's so important forpeople to really accept this
truth and I call it a truth,it's an objective truth that
your presence matters on thisearth.
So believe that, trust that,embody that and, yeah, don't
(57:58):
forget that thank you.
Candace Patrice (58:00):
How can people find you all of your things,
whatever it is that you have tooffer?
How can people get what youoffer and find you on social
medias, websites, anything?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (58:14):
Yeah, so my community is called Minutes on
Growth, so Minutes and then O-NGrowth.
I have my website.
On my website there's a lot offree resources.
I have a free ebook on nervoussystem regulation so powerful.
Please download it to kind ofhelp you get very simple, very
simple, simple tasks to help youstep into your parasympathetic
(58:36):
nervous system to activate thatcalmness, that groundedness we
need more than ever with all thetriggers and the stressors that
are coming at us.
They're really taking the timefor self, and nervous system
regulation is the foundation ofthat.
You'll find me on social mediaat Minutes on Growth.
I share daily content on how tobuild healthier relationships
with yourself, with others, andalso my podcast, minutes on
(58:58):
Growth.
So everywhere at Minutes onGrowth.
Candace Patrice (59:03):
You said your community Minutes on Growth.
Where is your community at?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (59:07):
So we have a community on Facebook it's
called Abundance and Love, andwe have the book club, the
ladies only book club.
So they're all mentioned on mywebsite.
You can go through it, see whatresonates.
The intention is really alwaysto create a safe space for
people to feel seen, heard,valued and understood.
(59:30):
So trying to create as manymediums whether it's one-on-one,
group work, community eventsthat makes that possible.
Candace Patrice (59:40):
Are you accepting any clients right now?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (59:42):
Yes, I am A little bit less as I'm starting
clinical work, but still yes.
Candace Patrice (59:52):
And how can people sign up for coaching with
?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (59:55):
you.
So on my website there is a tabwork with me, and then there's
a free consultation that Ihighly recommend everyone,
because at the end of the day,we have to see if we
energetically mesh together.
There's actually research onthis.
They were trying to see what'sthe best therapeutic modality
(01:00:16):
with effectiveness and theyfound that the therapeutic
alliance is the most importantcomponent.
So feeling safe with someonethat's the most important.
It's not about the tools theyuse.
Ultimately, it's that sense ofsafety.
So use that consultation to seeif we're a good fit and if you
(01:00:44):
feel safe with meOhmotivationcom.
Candace Patrice (01:00:48):
on Instagram, candicepatrice underscore.
Em.
On Facebook, essentialMotivation.
You can email me atCandiceFleming at
essentialmotivationcom.
We want to hear from you, yourfeedback.
If there's any topics that youwant us to touch on, if there's
(01:01:10):
anything you heard that youenjoyed that resonated with you,
we'd love to hear from you.
You can hit the text button andsend information, and you can
find Janet atHaleEmpowermentLLCcom.
Was there any last words youwanted to give Mom?
Janet Hale (01:01:31):
Just thank you to all of us for being able to come
together.
I love what she said about thetherapist, because it must be a
good match, because I'll fire atherapist in a minute I will
because, look, we have to getthis vibe thing going but I
(01:01:51):
really, really appreciate ushaving this space and creating a
space for the listeners to be apart of this intimate moment.
Candace Patrice (01:02:01):
Thank you, thank you both, thank you
listeners, and until next time.
Remember to love hard, forgiveoften and laugh frequent.
Goodbye.
Hello and welcome back to another episode
of Essential Mental Healing,where I am your host, Candace
Patrice, and joining me today,of course, as always, is my
lovely co-host, janet Hale.
Janet Hale (00:20):
Hello, mother, hello hello, hello, happy Sunday,
although you're going to hear iton Thursday.
Candace Patrice (00:27):
It's definitely Saturday, mother.
Janet Hale (00:28):
Oh, see it wouldn't, be a regular podcast if I
didn't do something like that.
Candace Patrice (00:34):
But happy Saturday, but it won't be
Saturday for them.
It'll be Thursday.
It'll be Thursday.
See, okay, there we go.
You know we have to adjust likethey do on the View day.
Janet Hale (00:41):
See, okay, there we go.
You know we have to adjust.
Like they do on the View, theyfilm their Friday shows on
Thursday and sometimes they messup.
So that's one of those moments,okay.
Candace Patrice (00:55):
We also have a guest today, and our guest is
Tannaz Tannaz, tannaz, hi,tannaz, hi, candace, how are you
today?
Good, how are you?
You know I'm doing well.
I started some CBD oilyesterday because I have
(01:19):
ulcerative colitis, so I haveinflammation in my eyes.
I also got infusions yesterday,so I'm not sure if I just like
tripled up on everything, but itmade me rest really well and so
that was really good.
So I'm doing good.
But tell us a little bit aboutyourself, tanaz.
Our guests know nothing aboutyou, so let's give them a little
(01:40):
bit about you.
Tell us who you are, what youdo.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (01:43):
Definitely so.
I'm Tanaz, I'm based in Toronto, canada, and yeah, so my
background was on disputeresolution, law and family
mediation, so it's kind of onthe reactive side of
relationships.
And there was a point, rightafter I finished school and I
started like the process, whereI was like I don't want to be
here.
Even though I've studied sevenyears, I don't want to be here.
(02:05):
I don't want to be kind of inthis space, this energetic space
of people fighting over, youknow, who gets the plate.
And it's just it wasn'taligning with me energetically
and so I took a break and I waslike, okay, what am I meant to
do?
Like, first of all, how did weget to this point?
(02:25):
How did we get to this pointwhere people who are so in love
when they get married are nowfighting over the most mundane
things?
And at that time I was running abook club.
I was living in Dubai, I wasrunning a book club and one of
the girls said have you heard ofcoaching?
I was like, no, what is that?
And so I went on Instagram.
(02:47):
I typed coach.
I was like I need to see whatthis is.
And then I figured it out andwe started this coaching program
and once I got certified I kindof niched down on relationships
because that was something thatI really wanted to help people
get on the proactive side of,and I'm a teacher archetype, so
I love to take complex concepts,simplify them, and so that was
eight years ago.
And then three years ago I wentback to school to get my
(03:08):
master's in counseling,psychotherapy, to kind of have
more tools to help bothindividuals and couples who work
with me cultivate healthyrelationships with themselves
and with others.
So that's where I am.
Candace Patrice (03:22):
I heard you say you lived in Dubai.
Yeah, yeah, I was raised there.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (03:25):
Oh wow, that's that.
I heard you say you lived inDubai, yeah yeah, I was raised
there.
Candace Patrice (03:27):
Oh wow, that's pretty cool.
So one of the things that Ifound very interesting is that
you talked about six differentways of intimacy, and I know I'm
literally jumping straight intothis, but I, we, we generally
take up so much time and ithappens so fast.
(03:47):
The hour just flies by.
I want to get there, but firstI just I want to make sure that
I've touched on how we doingtoday.
Jannie, how you doing?
I didn't ask you how you doingtoday um, I'm doing really good
and I have.
Janet Hale (04:00):
I was really touched by Tenas and when you talked
about being in the energy ofnon-productivity for our souls
and our spirit and whatever itis, and how, when we really take
a look at that and make thedecision like I deserve better
(04:24):
and go for what's best for us,and I heard that and I was like,
okay, I can get with that.
So I am doing good.
I am appreciating therelationships that I do have,
especially the one with Candace.
We had such a lovingconversation yesterday and it
was just she used me because shehad a long drive.
(04:46):
I get it.
I had a whole book to listen to.
No, no, no, no she had an hourand a half drive.
She's like Mama and we're justhaving like this deep, beautiful
exchange with one another.
Candace Patrice (04:58):
Right after I get put over by the police.
Janet Hale (05:00):
Oh, and then that was even beautiful, like let's
just live life.
And oh, and then that was evenbeautiful, like let's just live
life.
And so we were talking, and shewas talking about the CBD oil,
is it?
And I was sharing with her howfor me that I've, you know, no
sugar because it's aninflammation in the body.
You know what I mean Gettingoff the meat for me and that's
(05:23):
just not hard for me.
The meat part is not as hard asthe sugar part.
The sugar part is harder andthe dairy and saying yes to my
body Just big.
You know what I mean.
Like giving myself permissionto be good to me.
So that's been good.
It kind of connected with myCandice because I had got tied
(05:43):
up and busy and things and I hadgot tied up and busy and things
and she's always tied up andbusy and things, and for us to
be able to connect, I sleptextremely well after.
Well, actually, I watched fivehours of Grey's Anatomy because
I realized I hadn't even watchedone of them.
I'm like what?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (05:58):
am I doing?
Janet Hale (05:59):
Oh my goodness, because I said whoa, what was I
going through during that time?
Candace Patrice (06:06):
But anyway, I don't want to continue on
education, you know, for yourdoctorates.
Janet Hale (06:10):
Yeah, we yeah.
Cause right, my MD.
Cause I need that to come inthe mail, cause I watch grades,
but anyway, so I um, you knowI'm saying all that to say that
I'm doing okay.
I'm constantly evolving.
I'm wanting to be the bestversion of myself in every
moment.
Am I always successful?
Maybe not, but I strive forthat.
So that's how I'm doing.
(06:31):
That was a whole lot, butthat's how I'm doing.
Candace Patrice (06:33):
You know, tanaz , listening to you talk about
relationships and how peoplewere once in love, and it was
complex and it wasn't aligningwith your energy and our hour
and a half yesterday we actuallygot to share about our energies
and how we're growing with eachother, and she read a poem to
(06:53):
me that is very near and dear toher heart, from Khalil Cabran,
who talks about how yourchildren come through you, but
they're not yours.
Janet Hale (07:05):
You know the poem?
Yeah, I can tell.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (07:07):
Oh, wow, so do you have the prophet?
Yes, of course yes.
My mom would always say it tome.
She would always say you camethrough me, but you don't belong
to me.
Janet Hale (07:17):
I don't own you.
Candace Patrice (07:19):
Oh my goodness.
Janet Hale (07:20):
Oh, look at us, look at this.
Candace Patrice (07:21):
Oh, wow, okay.
Janet Hale (07:39):
Tear.
Oh, look at us, look at this,oh, wow.
Candace Patrice (07:41):
Okay, teardrop, but sharing how we're growing
and how she stood out to her, orat least that she was triggered
by to read the poem and how.
So she's looking to me to learnfor the future, and now I'm
looking to my daughter to learnfor the future.
And also, just I was sharingwith her.
(08:03):
She was like you know I don'tknow if you believe it or
whatever and I was sharing withher how I was having a
conversation with God and justasking if I could keep her.
Like, please, let me keep her.
I know she's not mine, but Iwant her, I want her so bad and
I want to be here with her.
So, please, please, please, letme keep her.
So you know, just that wholerelationship and communication
(08:23):
and the intimacy of parent-child.
And even this morning I woke upand realized I had been holding
on to an idea of the pastopposed to manifesting something
in the future, of a futurerelationship.
And I was mind blown futurerelationship and I was mind
(08:49):
blown so, uh, yeah, that wasjust an interesting and, I guess
, a lining thing that hadhappened I also.
So I got pulled over yesterday,um, and my headlight is out,
and I was in Saginaw, which isan hour and a half away from
here and immediately the officewhen he pulled me over on a two
lane ditch kind of area.
So I didn't know what to do.
This has never happened to me,so I put my hazards on and I'm
(09:09):
just so.
Janet Hale (09:10):
I'm on the phone, by the way.
Candace Patrice (09:12):
Yeah, and I'm like I don't know what I'm doing
.
I don't know.
So I pull up to an intersection, I kind of pull to the side
because there's a little curbthere, and as soon as he gets
out of the car and I just go, Ididn't know what I was doing.
So that's why it took so long.
He was like I was wondering andso I was like, yeah, but I just
got.
I just went on about my night,how I went to go support an
artist.
I shared with him how there wasa part of the jazz section
(09:36):
where I thought about mydeceased father.
I could see him sitting therelistening and you know I just
shared my experience Nowlistening.
And you know I just shared myexperience now because I have
ulcerative colitis, I haveredness in my eyes.
So he's like do you smoke, doyou drink?
And I'm like no.
He's like okay, on a scale ofzero being very sober, 10 being
off the chart, not sober, whatare you?
(09:57):
I was like zero.
I had two kids in the back too.
And he's like, okay, he's stillconcerned because of this
redness in my eyes.
So I can't, I give him mylicense.
I can't get into my register,my insurance, cause I'm logged
out, don't know the password andmy registration, I don't know
where it is.
So he comes back to the car andhe's like um, so is there
(10:17):
anything wrong with your eyes?
I go actually, yeah, so I pullout my prednisone.
I say so, I pull out myprednisone.
I said so, I take um prednisonefor the inflammation of my eyes
.
I just had infusions today andI was like I could pull up my
medical records for you.
He's like uh, no, that's okay,just follow my finger.
And so after I did the fingertest, he's like okay, you're
fine.
He's like, yeah, your eyes, bythem being red, I just wasn't
sure.
He's like then you put it up tothe stop sign.
(10:37):
Because he had me move up.
He's like put up to the stopsign real slow.
I said well, I didn't want youto think I ran the stop sign, so
I made sure I stopped, stayedand then went.
So we just kind of had thisbeautiful exchange about what my
night was like and he gave me awarning and let me go.
So I really got to get thatheadlight fixed.
But anywho, that's how my nightand day and things have been
(11:01):
and I think we're all caught up.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (11:02):
Tanez, anything you want to give us,
anything you want to share withus, Well, I'm originally Persian
and our new year coincides withspring equinox, so we had our
Persian new year on Thursday,5.01 am, eastern Standard Time,
and it's been so lovely becausetraditionally we deep clean our
(11:24):
homes and you know all theclothes that need to go to
donation boxes, everything thatneeds to kind of like creating
space for new energy, new,abundant, new, healthy energy
light to come in.
So and we celebrate with youknow, friends and family, and we
have a beautiful altar that weset up.
So it's just been that energyof cleaning, releasing, purging
(11:46):
and having faith and new, moreempowering energy to come in.
So that's what's been happening.
Candace Patrice (11:52):
Oh, that is so beautiful.
Janet Hale (11:55):
Happy New Year.
Candace Patrice (11:56):
Thank you, yes, happy New Year.
I think I'm going to cleantoday too.
Janet Hale (12:00):
I know I was like dang.
Candace Patrice (12:01):
I know, right, I'm looking around like and they
can't see your background, butI can know I was like dang, I
know, right, I'm looking aroundand they can't see your
background, but I can.
And I was thinking that fromthe time we were here, like man,
it's so organized and cleanback there.
Janet Hale (12:12):
Yeah, hers is, and that picture is awesome, by the
way.
Candace Patrice (12:15):
It is.
It's so lovely, right?
Okay, thank you for sharingthat with us.
Okay, I guess now we can justsee this is how it gets so long.
We share, we connect, we build.
You know and I know the podcastpeople it's for guests and them
listening, but it's also for us.
(12:36):
It's also our time.
It's our time to learn, it'sour time to grow, it's our time
to be better.
We're constantly, as we shootthe podcast, growing and
learning, which is why eachepisode is so different, because
so much happens between thelast episode and this one, the
last guest in this one, and theknowledge that we've taken from
(12:57):
all of the previous experiencesin our lives and moving forward
and creating the space to beable to learn and grow, right?
So, oh my gosh, okay, I'm soexcited.
So, to that, I know I'm justsuper interested in those six
different types of intimacy andwhy they matter.
(13:17):
When I saw that come in, I waslike I want to know more, share
more.
So please, please, please, ifyou don't mind us getting
started there and then we canjust kind of venture off
wherever we end up.
But could you share that withus?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (13:32):
Yeah, definitely so.
When we think of intimacy,traditionally we think of, like,
sexual or physical intimacy,but actually our bodies and our
soul crave different forms ofintimacy.
Bodies and our soul cravedifferent forms of intimacy.
And so this idea that I have isthis idea of six intimacy tanks
, and I'd like to visualize mybody like a car with, like, six
(13:54):
different fuel tanks.
And this is a really importantconcept because it allows us to
be very intentional with ourrelationships, how they show up,
and to kind of remove thepressure from one person to be
everything for us.
And now Dr Sarparell wastalking about this a while back
(14:16):
of why we're in this day and agewhere our husband needs to be
our husband, our boyfriend, ourpartner, our best friend, our
confidant, our do-it-all are toomuch.
It's too much that we'reputting on one person.
It's the same way vice versa.
If someone expects us to beeverything for them all the time
, it can feel overwhelming.
(14:38):
It doesn't mean that therearen't those moments where that
person is everything for us,where that person is everything
for us, but we want to havedifferent people in our circle
that can fill these tanks whenone person doesn't have the
emotional capacity or the timeto do it.
So what are these six tanks?
(14:58):
The physical.
So physical is non-sexual touch.
The person that you hug, holdhands, cuddle with.
It could be a parent, it couldbe a sibling, a best friend, or
even when we, like us Persians,when we greet someone we always
do three kisses and a hug.
So people that your body feelssafe to engage in non-sexual
(15:19):
touch with.
Then we have sexual touch, andsexual intimacy.
For monogamous relationships,that's your partner.
For non-monogamous, there'smore people than that, so that's
those two.
And then we go into thenon-physical realm.
So we have emotional intimacy.
(15:40):
It's people that you feelemotionally safe with to discuss
your feelings, to discuss yourexperience, your internal world,
without judgment.
So the conversation that youand your mom had yesterday is a
sign of emotional intimacy beingpresent there.
So you guys were kind offueling each other's tanks with
(16:00):
that.
Then we have experientialintimacy.
These are people you experiencelife with.
You go to a restaurant together, you go to a concert together,
you travel together, and sosometimes people come to me and
be like that friend of mineshe's only there to go out and
have dinner, but she's not therefor me emotionally and I'm like
(16:23):
that's the tank she's able andwilling to fill.
Is that enough for you?
Shift the perspective fromshe's only doing that to she's
filling a tank that maybesomeone else doesn't have the
capacity or the willingness orthe desire to do.
So that's experiential intimacy.
We have two more.
One is intellectual intimacyPeople will intellectually
(16:46):
stimulate you.
Right now, the three of us areintellectually stimulating one
another.
We're sharing concepts, we'relearning together, we're growing
.
It could be about history,psychology, life, anything,
science, but it's thoseintellectually stimulating
conversations.
Maybe your boss isintellectually stimulating you,
(17:09):
maybe it's your co-workers, yourclassmates, your children.
Even so, that's intellectual.
And then the last one isspiritual.
So it's the people that youhave deep spiritual connection
with.
It could be topics related toreligion, spirituality,
meditation, but it could also beyour belief systems, your value
(17:32):
systems.
So having conversations aroundthat.
So, now that we have all six, Iask you know my clients and I'm
even extending it to theaudience now go through the list
of people in your life, takeinventory who fills which tank.
So when, for example, let's say,for me, my emotional has my
(17:52):
fiance, my mom, my brother and,like let's say, two of my best
friends, if my fiance comes homeand I'm realizing that external
stressors are overwhelming himand I have something on my heart
that needs to be seen andshared, I can realize that in
that moment my fiance can't holdspace for me.
Great, I remember the list.
(18:12):
I can go to my mom, I can go tomy best friend, and so we lean
into community.
We realize, you know, peoplecan fill different roles for us,
and that's the beauty of life.
And take it even a step furtherwhich roles am I filling for
who?
Who am I for other people?
We always want people to be thebest friend for us.
Am I being the best friend oram I just in someone's life and
(18:37):
not filling any of their tanks?
We want to be intentional withour relationships with our
relationships.
Candace Patrice (18:43):
Are these six principles of intimacy?
I'm probably saying that wrong.
Are these six things that youcame up with, or did you study
these?
Or is it something that yourealized in your own self was
the need and was able topinpoint those?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (19:03):
No, I've studied it.
So there are concepts that havebeen grown over the years.
First we had the four, and thenwe had the five and now we have
the six.
And it's a topic that I learnedfrom Elizabeth Earnshaw.
She is a marriage and familylicensed therapist in the States
.
I love her.
She just gave out her secondbook called Till Stress Do Us
(19:25):
Part, and it's all about howexternal stressors impact our
relationships.
So it is a topic that is in thefamily and relationship therapy
realm.
But it's something that I havetested over the years and I have
realized okay, it makes sense.
And you know, I've taken it astep further myself and I've
(19:47):
asked my clients ask yourselfwhich ones are your
non-negotiables when you'remeeting someone, when you're
meeting a partner.
Because you know, for somepeople, let's say, maybe
intellectual, they don't want tobe intellectual, they're okay
not being intellectuallystimulated by their partner,
perfect.
For some, let's say, someone isasexual, maybe sexual intimacy
(20:07):
is not a priority for them.
So there is no one size fitsall.
But you got to ask yourself andbe honest with yourself If I
had to choose three that were mynon-negotiable, that my partner
needs to embody in some form orcapacity, what would it be.
And so you have more awarenessgoing into that dating, that
(20:28):
relationship, that friendship.
Candace Patrice (20:30):
Was there a situation in your life so I know
you were doing law and just thewhole idea that people, you
love these people and now it'swe're fighting over who gets the
cat, who gets the things in thehome, who gets the car, who
gets little minute things, the401k and it's you know, all of
(20:52):
these trivial things that makethings horrible along a divide.
Was there a situation in yourlife that made you say no more,
no more?
It?
Was it caused somethingstressor in you or energy that
really made you know this was it.
That's the last straw.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (21:14):
It wasn't one particular thing, but for me
, I started studyingspirituality around when I was
17.
My mom was extremely spiritualand so she kind of helped me
dive into this realm and Ibecame a lawyer out of social
conditioning, because, beingPersian, you're either a lawyer,
a doctor or an engineer.
And so for me, afteraccomplishing that and being in
(21:38):
that space where I felt it wasthe energy of conflict and
conflict is good andrelationship is good to have
conflict, but constructiveconflict and respectful conflict
and collaborative conflict.
I like to call it fighting fear.
That element was missing and itwas a very harsh energy for my
(22:00):
soul.
So I felt very constricted, Ididn't feel expansive and it was
impacting the way I was seeingthe world.
You know how they say likelawyers are, like they're
pessimistic, they always see theworst case scenario.
And that just wasn't theexperience I wanted.
I wanted to see the best casescenario.
All my spiritual teachers weresaying see the good in
(22:22):
everything, see the light, seethe blessing.
So the environment just wasn'tconducive for my soul.
Of course, there are lots ofgreat lawyers out there doing
really amazing work, but for meit was.
I don't want to be part of that.
I want to actually help, and myparents were divorced, but they
had a very peaceful divorce,and so I wanted to kind of come
(22:43):
and say, okay, even if we wantto separate, I have couples that
I help them consciouslydecouple.
But you know, on average,research shows us that couples
take six years before they gethelp.
So I want to kind of givecouples the tools so that they
don't feel that way, and also tonormalize getting help.
(23:03):
And so, yeah, it was just ashift.
I'm an Aquarius, I lovecommunity, I love bringing
people together.
So I was like I want to be partof something bigger than that.
I want to help people reallyhave these fulfilling
relationships and I want to makesure that I believe in
relationships instead of believethat everything ends a part of
(23:30):
the.
Candace Patrice (23:30):
You want it to be the preventative opposed to
the treatment.
Yeah, how did your familyrespond to you becoming a coach?
Because I heard you say beencouraging, the expectation is
the lawyer, the doctor, the uphere.
So you made this switch andit's like what?
How did your family andcommunity respond to that?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (23:50):
Oof.
My friends thought I was havinglike a midlife crisis.
My parents were just like theydidn't get it.
My dad didn't get it,definitely.
He didn't get it the firstcouple of years.
He thought it's a hobby.
He's like, okay, she'll comearound.
And then I think it subsided.
(24:10):
Their fears subsided when Iwent back to school for my
master's in counseling,psychotherapy.
So they're like okay, there'slike an academic degree now
associated to it.
But when I finished that, Iremember my mom was like both my
parents were like so when areyou getting your PhD?
And so I realized you know whatthis is.
Just their conditioning, blessthem.
It's like my.
Both my parents were like sowhen are you getting your PhD?
And so I realized you know whatthis is.
Just their conditioning, blessthem.
It's.
(24:30):
You know it's the way they seelife.
I love them for it.
It comes always from a place ofgood intentions and you know,
multiple realities can coexistand over the years they've seen
like the workshops I do, theretreats, the books I've
published.
So they're like you know it's,I can't live their journey for
them.
But they're becoming more andmore open to it.
(24:52):
But yeah, I'm pretty shocked.
Candace Patrice (24:54):
Was your decision to get the degree a
part of satisfying your familyor a part of satisfying yourself
?
Was it for you or what you werehearing from the family, like,
okay, let me get a degree to gowith this coaching so that
everybody's feeling better, orbecause you could be a coach
without any kind of degree, justthe experience?
(25:14):
So when you did, what was theangle behind that?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (25:19):
That was actually my clients, because I
realized that coaching is veryfuture oriented.
I love that we're working withbelief systems, but I realized
that, okay, there is a part ofour childhood that influences
psychodynamic therapy just goingback to the root, and that I
think it was my clients.
(25:40):
It was 100% my clients becauseI wanted to give them, I wanted
to help them more and I realizedI didn't have the skill set for
it.
And so, yeah, it was my clients, being able to help them
realize how their past wasinfluencing both their present
and their future.
I'm surprisingly, my parentswere not.
(26:01):
They didn't even know I wasgoing back until I was like in
the program.
And then they're like, oh wow,good for you.
Candace Patrice (26:09):
Okay, I just have all of these questions.
This is my last question.
I'm going to let Janet chime inif she has any questions.
And you're on mute, by the way,just so you know.
How do you help your clientsrewire their thinking?
Because if they've been in apattern for so long or they're
(26:32):
getting to a place where it'slike, okay, we need help, how do
you actually help them changethat perspective?
What are some of the tools thatthey could use to move forward,
to help be that preventative,before getting to where they
need lawyers?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (26:48):
Great question.
So there's two parts to it.
One is the individual work andone's the relational work.
When we're looking at theindividual work, there's two
parts Again.
There's the cognitive andthere's the somatic.
So first, cognitivelyunderstanding something why am I
the way I am?
Okay, let's look into yourchildhood, let's look into your
belief systems, let's look intoyour subconscious mind.
(27:11):
So there's an intellectual partof it which is part of talk
therapy.
And then we go into the somatic.
So what is the somatic?
Body Hold Score is a great book,and what it is is the memories,
the experiences get stored intoour body and so, on a cellular
level, they are influencing theway we show up to the world.
(27:32):
And so when people cognitivelyunderstand something,
intellectually understand it,but they're not changing it,
means there is a disconnectbetween body and mind.
So we engage the body now.
So, whether it's practicingthrough breath, work the body
now.
So, whether it's practicingthrough breath work, through
grounding, through even simple,simple tasks of shaking it off,
(27:53):
going for a walk, stretching thebody, you know, doing R's with
our tongue, engaging our senses,holding a warm cup of tea,
rubbing ice cubes on our wrists,what we're doing is we're
bringing the body, because whenthere's a disconnected usually
means the body is stuck in asympathetic state, which is the
(28:13):
fight or flight, freeze or fawnresponse.
We want to make it feel safe,for the body to come into the
parasympathetic, which is therest or digest.
So we engage the body, and thisis what's missing for many.
Many Engage the body in it.
This is what's missing for many, many, many people.
And so those somatic practicesreally help me come back into
(28:33):
safety, to come into a spacewhere change is possible,
because the mind is wired forsurvival, and survival is always
related to safety, and we willalways choose familiar chaos
over unfamiliar peace.
That's just the way the mind istrained and wired.
So now the body feels safe, nowI understand it intellectually.
(28:56):
That's half the formula.
The second half is therelational tools.
So now I help couples okay,even individuals.
How are you communicating?
Can we learn skills that helpus communicate in a non-critical
, non-defensive way?
How are you fighting?
Let's learn the tools offighting fear.
(29:18):
How are you expressing yourneeds?
Do you even know how to expressyour needs?
Because no one's a mind reader.
So these are all skills it'svery skill-based that we weren't
taught in school, most of us.
It wasn't modeled to us in ourparents' relationships or our
caregivers' relationships.
So it's like kind of we'relearning everything together and
(29:38):
just like, okay, this is theformula.
So half of it is skill set andhalf of it is inner work and
then the inner work is dividedinto intellectual and somatic.
Candace Patrice (29:50):
Thank you, yeah , yeah, yeah, mom, go ahead.
Did you have any?
Go ahead.
Janet Hale (29:55):
I did, I did.
I appreciate all that you saidand I really appreciated the
part where we have to get withself, because that, in my
opinion, is the root of allthings how we react to things,
(30:16):
how we take care of ourselvesemotionally, how we're able to
regulate our emotions.
And then, when you talked aboutthe child, how do we take care
of the child?
I call it the child within.
They stopped saying that a longtime ago.
But how do you take care ofthat little person inside of you
and make that little personsafe so that the big person can
take care of it?
Also, you made me think about asituation, that friendship
(30:38):
relationship, and it ended, andI was talking to Candace about
it and I said you know, Irealized something because in
everything, in all relationships, I always take a look at Janet.
You know I realized somethingbecause in everything, in all
relationships, I'd always take alook at Janet.
You know, like, what was mypart in it?
What was you know?
What was I trying to get fromit?
Why did I tolerate, why didn'tI?
(30:59):
You know, all those things WithCandace's father.
We divorced before he passed, Iguess, maybe a year, I don't
know.
He passed, maybe a year, Idon't know, but we were both
kind of mad at each other andnow the anger has turned into
compassion because I recognizehe did the best he knew how to
(31:20):
do and he gave his whatever.
That was his, all Okay.
And recognizing that takes awaythe anger, you know.
So it's not a fault findingsituation.
It's about coming back to me, um, and the last uh thing I was in
(31:43):
and I said you know the wordlonely.
I said I'm looking at that worda little different now, candice
.
I said lonely for me is mylonging to love myself.
And let me be enough, it's justall about.
And when you talked about thespirituality, the being familiar
(32:08):
with, I'm going to call itdysfunction, usually use another
word opposed to the healthierway, because we're used to that.
And moving away from that, Ithink it's just helpful for
everyone to understand that.
And I understand you've talkedabout couples, but I love the
fact that you talk about theindividual, because if we're
both all messed up and nobody'staking care of ourselves, then
(32:31):
what are we sitting in front ofyou for Right?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (32:34):
Yeah, so I appreciate that.
I'd love that you shared that.
I'd love that.
And as you were speaking, I wasreminded of something my mom
always said when I was growingup.
She said when you point onefinger to someone, you're
pointing three at yourself.
So you know, pause, askyourself.
You know, how did I show up?
(32:56):
How did I contribute?
Sometimes it's as simple asmaybe I need to learn how to set
more culturally sensitiveboundaries so that I don't feel
taken advantage of.
I don't feel you know, someonecrossing my boundaries, maybe
something like that, or maybeit's my tone, my boundaries,
maybe something like that, ormaybe it's my tone.
You know we're so quick toblame others, but if we really
paused and said, okay, how can Ibe better?
(33:16):
How can I do better?
How can I connect more to you?
Know my godlike nature?
What would the divine in me,how would the divine in me
respond?
Sometimes I get the feedbackthat I'm too naive in life.
My mom's like sometimes you'retoo naive.
But I'd rather see the good ineverything and everyone, because
that helps me connect to thegood in myself more so.
(33:38):
But yeah, I completely,completely resonate with what
you were saying.
So thank you for sharing.
Candace Patrice (33:44):
I love that.
I too have have that.
I don't that trait the naivety,naivety, naivety, you know the
word where I rather see the goodin everyone and there's only.
There is one situation that wasrecent and I was struggling so
(34:06):
hard because I had so muchtension in this situation and
finally I decided to disengagefrom the tension within myself
and I had I was writing down.
There are three things that I'vetried to go into every
situation with, and it'snonjudgmentalness, it is
(34:29):
unconditional love and it isforgiveness.
And one of those things thathas to happen during that time
is challenging.
I have to challenge myself toreflect on what it is that I'm
bringing to the situation thatcould cause tension.
And then what would I need if Iwas the other person, how would
(34:50):
I need that person to respondand what can I do in this
situation to disengage thattension?
And one of those things thathappened in this situation was
one I had to remember if thereis a two-way tension, there is
something that I'm doing andasking for the forgiveness in
(35:13):
that, and whatever it is that Ifeel is causing tension in this
situation, how can I trulyforgive them and move forward
with what I have control of?
Because I don't have control oftheir emotions, what their
(35:33):
perspective is.
But I can control how I show upin the situation and making
that choice mentally to say nomore, no more tension, like I
let it go, I release, I forgive.
I'm going to show thisunconditional love and I'm
(35:56):
finding that my spiritualconnection, my relationship to
God, my studying and what Jesuswould do really helps, and you
know, that's, for me, myspiritual situation.
What would Jesus do and how washe walking this earth?
And I'm watching the Chosen andone of the things I was sharing
with my mom last night there'san episode where the Roman I'm
learning the history too, ofRoman, the Jewish tradition and
(36:17):
everything I'm like what, okay,anyway, so there's, they were
able to have the Jews carrytheir things for up to a mile.
So they get to the mile, walkthe mile marker and they're like
okay, give me your stuff.
And Jesus is like well, isn'tyour destination a mile up?
They're like, yeah, but we canonly make you guys do this for a
mile.
He said, if anybody asks, tellthem we offered.
(36:38):
And he begins to you know, go.
And it's like wow, to continueon with something.
And and their heartsimmediately started changing and
you could see them like well,give me my helmet, you know,
like I, you don't have to carrythis.
I got you Like, and it's likeputting that love in our
(37:00):
situations and it's going beyondwhere you get to a point where
it's like, okay, we've agreed tosettle the tension, but what
can you do beyond that agreeance?
That really shows like I'mchoosing love, I'm choosing
forgiveness.
This isn't just something I'msaying, but I'm going to
practice it above and beyond.
So I don't know, that's justsomething I was, as you were
(37:24):
talking, and something that I'mpracticing, and it takes that
practice on a daily basis and Iwas sharing with my mom, as I'm
going through this situation,that I'm going to have to make
this choice every day until itbecomes natural, until it feels.
It may not feel normal at first, but it's challenging our minds
to do something different,because every day that we wake
(37:47):
up and we go into thesesystematic ways that we behave
and these habits, our bodies gointo autopilot because we're
used to it.
So we have to challengeourselves to do something
different.
I'm reading a book and it talksabout how, even though the
future is unknown, we putourselves in these autopilots
(38:07):
where we really know what theday is going to look like, and
anything that challenges what wealready know becomes an
inconvenience.
But if we allow ourselves to beopen to what the day brings,
then it's not an inconvenience,it's really a blessing.
It's like oh well, look at that, that happened in my day to day
.
Isn't that awesome, you know?
(38:28):
So yeah, just, I don't know, Idon't do it.
I'm always hopeful that ourlisteners get to take this
(38:50):
experience too and go, ah, Ididn't think of it like that.
Or ah, you're challenging me todo something different, to be
better, to go about my day justa little different.
I guess it's really my hopethat this podcast remains a
marker throughout history forpeople to look back and do
(39:12):
something different to maketheir lives better.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (39:15):
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
I love that.
Three things came to mind asyou were sharing and I just
wanted to touch on that.
Yes, the forgiveness, sobeautiful.
I want to take it a stepfurther and say we're forgiving
the other person, we need toforgive the situation, but we
also need to forgive ourselves,extending that grace to ourself
(39:37):
of you know, I'm doing the bestI can.
When I know better, I do better.
When I know better, I showbetter, show up better.
So just extending that energyof forgiveness to self, also so
deeply healing, in my opinion,that sometimes we forget that
we're extending forgiveness toothers but not to self.
And then this experience.
(39:58):
When you said experience, wedon't see people objectively
right.
Every experience of reality isbased on our thoughts, beliefs,
opinions and perceptions.
So the way I see you is verydifferent than maybe the way
janet sees you, the way otherpeople see you.
So we really are floatingexperiences for humanity.
(40:21):
And if we can take that and belike I get goosebumps when I
think about it because you'vegiven me goosebumps, I really
it's, it's all an experience.
Nothing is real Right, nothingis objectively real.
I can't say like Janet is, youknow any trait?
(40:45):
So I can't say like Janet is aperfectionist, right, because
that is my perception.
I'm experiencing her throughthe lens of perfection.
You might experience herthrough a different lens.
So if we open that, if we'reopen to that idea, I think we'll
stop trying to dictate topeople how they should be or
(41:06):
what they should do and we kindof just accept everyone as they
show up, without expectations,without judgment, exactly as you
said, with pure love, thateveryone at the end of the day
is a child of God and they aredoing the best they can.
Maybe their best is not enoughfor us, and that's okay.
It means we don't want toentertain them, but that's their
(41:27):
best.
And slowly the level ofconsciousness for everyone,
including ourselves, will go up.
So it really helps with thatnonjudgment and just acceptance.
Candace Patrice (41:37):
Oh, my goodness , I love it.
Janet was over there lightingup when forgiving self, because
that is one of her staples.
Janet Hale (41:46):
When you were talking, I thought the exact
same.
I was like I wrote it down.
I was like, okay, we'reforgiving all these other people
.
When the forgiveness startsright here I'm pointing to
myself audience it starts righthere.
I have to forgive myself forthe thoughts that I may have had
about somebody that was somessed up, for the thoughts that
(42:08):
I may have had about somebodythat was so messed up, you know.
And so that was a thing thatcame to mind.
The other was never want any myanger to meet someone's pain.
I never want that to meet,because it is just not cool.
And then the spiritualconnection I thought about.
And Candice said you know mybeliefs and I'm not a Christian
(42:32):
woman.
Right, I see myself as aspiritual person.
Candice is a Christian woman,and but we, we, we can get
together and have very spiritual, meaningful conversations,
because the baseline is the same.
And so I thought about that.
And then I thought about thetriggers, because some people
(42:54):
can trigger something in us thatwe don't recognize.
You mentioned the body keepsthe score, and so once I'm
triggered, sometimes I don'teven know why I'm triggered, I'm
just triggered by somethinguntil I sit alone somewhere, and
sometimes it'll come to me Likethat triggered me because I've
never felt heard and thisreminded me of a moment when I
(43:18):
didn't feel heard or important,or that I mattered, and so it
triggered me into the fight mode, right, because I need you to
(43:39):
hear me.
At any cost, please hear me.
So those are some of the thingsI thought about.
Oh, and forgiveness shementioned, and the forgiveness
is great, and I will say thisthis is something I say often,
it's not my original saying butforgiveness is granted, but
sometimes access is denied andwe need to be comfortable in
that, because sometimes peoplefeel like well, well, I forgave
(44:00):
and you know, and so just comeon back no you don't have to
come back.
No, no, no, no, because theforgiveness is here.
But you talked about being safe.
Once I recognize it's not asafe space, I have a choice, and
that's the whole thing at all.
In my opinion, comes back towho we are, the choices that we
(44:21):
make, each decision that we make.
If I engage back and forth withsomeone and it's a very toxic
situation I need to take a lookat Janet, because something in
me is enjoying something in you,in order for us to go back and
forth, because I'm gainingsomething out of this.
But a lot of times folks don'twant to admit that because it's
(44:44):
easier to point the finger atthe other person and what
they've done, and then I have togo.
What was that about for me, youknow?
So those are some of the thingsthat came up.
When Candice was talking.
I was like on fire.
She's like I don't know whereI'm at in the conversation and
I'm thinking you set me on fire.
So yeah, that's my comment onthat.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (45:25):
Oh yeah, that's.
Take the example of people whoare dating in the dating world
and they'll accept breadcrumbs,right.
So this hot, cold energy, thispush-pull energy, and it's
exactly that the part of medoesn't feel worthy of being
seen.
So why will entertain someonewho doesn't fully see me?
(45:47):
I think this is so importantand I'm seeing this more and
more with this whole concept ofsituationships in this day and
age of like we're not in arelationship, we're in a
situationship.
It doesn't serve someone.
Everyone I've spoken to 99%don't want to be in a
situationship.
They just find themselves in it.
I think it's such an importanttopic to talk about.
(46:08):
If you're in it, look, pause,exactly what you said, Jen, and
what part of me is gainingsomething from this, and that's.
You know it takes a lot ofcourage to realize that's messed
up, but you know the work, thebrave do the inner work, and so
(46:28):
find the courage within you tokind of pause, but so, so
powerful.
Thank you for sharing that.
Candace Patrice (46:34):
Thank you, that's so good.
Wow, I don't know if I shouldshare this on the podcast.
Janet Hale (46:41):
Oh maybe you should, I don't know.
I share some stuff.
Come on, girl.
Candace Patrice (46:46):
You know, after my divorce I was in a
relationship, situation-ship,entertainmanship with a good
friend.
Well, we developed a greatfriendship which then turned
into, I guess, a relationship.
It really never had realboundaries on it, to call it
(47:08):
that.
But what I realized was thatthe love we cultivated started
to have these expectations of arelationship.
That was too much for me, in asense that I realized I couldn't
give my full self for arelationship.
But there were things that Igained in this that were really
(47:31):
good.
And looking at some of theintimacy, it was the
intellectual intimacy.
I enjoy that part.
I enjoy the physical intimacy,the sexual intimacy.
You know there was a lot.
But then there were parts that I, just coming out of a marriage,
(47:52):
wasn't ready to give and also Ineeded to be a little selfish.
I didn't have the time to giveto a relationship.
A relationship requires morethan just breadcrumbs.
Relationship requires more thanjust breadcrumbs.
And to look in that and say youdon't deserve what I'm giving
(48:12):
because I can't give you whatyou deserve, and being able to
look back at that and say I knowyou deserve so much more.
So here's what I can give,here's what I can't give, and if
that's not enough.
I respect that and I'm here tofind a common ground and you let
(48:35):
me know where you are and let'sfind a space that works, and if
it doesn't, it doesn't.
But I have to be honest withmyself.
I have to be honest with youbecause if I'm not honest, we'll
end up in this push, pull ofexpectations, and neither of us
deserve that.
So you know it's, and I'mfinding that since I've had that
(48:59):
conversation, that therelationship is no longer a
situation but a real friendship.
It's what it should be for thisseason of my life and we're
both flourishing and enjoyingeach other more as friends and
giving each other what we cangive each other in this season,
(49:20):
and maybe that will look like arelationship in the future of
partnership.
Maybe partnership looksdifferent than boyfriend,
girlfriend, husband, wife.
It's purely this is what we'reable to give and do and flourish
, because, at the end of the day, we want to grow, we don't want
to be stagnant, and I can seethe best parts of you and
(49:44):
cultivate the best parts of youwhere I can and we don't have to
sit in.
Well, I'm expecting you to giveme all six parts of intimacy
because and I need you to showup this way.
It's hey, this is what I cangive and are we able to accept
that.
So it's beautiful.
I'm enjoying him so much moreagain because it's back to where
(50:05):
it was in the beginning, beforesome of these expectations, and
we laugh more and we joke more,but it is the true space that
we're in right now and I thinkthat we'll continue to grow in
this space as friends right nowand not have the expectation of
the unknown, which is not realbecause it doesn't exist.
(50:28):
You know, what exists is what'shere in front of us right now
and we'll be open and we'll behonest about where we are and
we'll work through those things.
And you know, I encourage himto.
You know, if there is arelationship, a person who can
feed you in all of those areas,Take that, because we deserve to
(50:51):
have that in our lives.
And I know for me, I want tolove on me right now.
I need to love on me right nowand if that can come across
selfish in a relationship, solet me know where I am, say
where I am, be honest about that.
(51:11):
And I don't know.
It's just so beautiful.
I love me right now and themore I can love me, the more I
can bring into a partnership andwhatever that's going to look
like, which is unknown.
I don't know what the futurebrings for whoever it's going to
bring it with, but I'm open tothis journey and it's so
(51:38):
beautiful.
It is so beautiful.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (51:44):
Thank you for vulnerably sharing that.
Yes, I think it's so important,exactly as you said, to be
honest with self of, like whatdo I have the capacity for at
this moment in my life and thisseason in my life?
And you know, sometimes peopleask me, like is it bad that I'm
like dating multiple people atthe same time?
Like, just an example, I'm likedo the people you're dating
(52:04):
know?
that Like as long as you'rebeing honest with that and
saying hey, by the way, I'm likeyou know, I'm dating other
people or I'm this People.
Honesty is we're missing thatbecause sometimes we get fed
this narrative of manipulationand games and just the narrative
(52:25):
sometimes is wrong.
And so if we can lean intohonesty and your example was a
beautiful, you know portrayal ofthat and you know expectations
ruin friendships, let's say ruindynamics curiosity saves it,
right.
So curiosity, I'm curious aboutyou, about your internal world.
I want to know you better.
I want to understand you better.
I want to see you better.
(52:45):
I want to see myself world.
I want to know you better.
I want to understand you better.
I want to see you better.
I want to see myself better.
I want to understand myselfbetter.
Let this be a space where bothof us feel safe enough to bring
the parts of us that feel safeto be seen, because if I'm not
(53:06):
bringing a part of me into adynamic, it means in that moment
that part doesn't feel safe asa result of past trauma, as a
result of whatever that hashappened.
So let me extend grace and timeto myself In the meantime,
having that space.
I know that when I'm ready,when this part is ready, she
will come.
Yeah, she will come.
Candace Patrice (53:27):
Oh so.
Janet Hale (53:30):
I felt that and I almost cried.
Candace Patrice (53:32):
I did too.
Janet Hale (53:34):
All right now, tanev , because when she's ready, she
will come.
Candace Patrice (53:46):
Honesty is courage is what I see you for I
did.
Honesty is courage is what Isee you, for I did.
Janet Hale (53:49):
Honesty is courage.
It is courage to be correct.
Candice, you have, even as achild, have been an honest
person and I'll never forget andI know, I always tell this
story on the podcast.
One day she was a kid, I guessin middle school, I can't
remember and she said you know,mom, I'm not lying.
(54:13):
And I said, okay, I'm lookingat her like okay.
She said you want to know why?
Cause this is Candace.
I said why?
Because if I tell the truth,what's it going to do to me?
So why not just tell the truth?
I thought that was socourageous and it helped me see
where I was not honest insituations because I was fearful
(54:39):
of the outcome.
I never said that before on thepodcast, but anyway, it's a
safe space, so we all out here.
But yeah, so yeah, and Iappreciate her being able to tap
into that at such a young ageand recognize that the honesty
(55:01):
is a risk that she was willingto take as a child.
Candace Patrice (55:08):
Yeah.
So, naz, you have created avery calm and safe place and I
know it's my podcast, but stillyou, you have made this really
nice and I'm really grateful forthe time that you have given us
(55:32):
, for the honesty, the toolsthat you've given us.
So I want to thank you andhonor you in this space right
now for the work that you aredoing, for the work that you
have done and the work that youwill do, that you'll be able to
share at some point in thefuture.
That doesn't exist yet.
(55:52):
Oh, I can't hear you, tanaz, isyour speaker off?
Janet Hale (55:57):
No, I'm not oh great Okay cool.
Candace Patrice (56:01):
So yes, we are.
See, I told you, this hour goesby so fast.
We're already here and I'm sad,so of course I want to hold on,
hold on.
I want to give the suicideprevention lifeline for anyone
(56:22):
who needs it.
It is 988.
You can call or text 24 hours aday, seven days a week, 365
days a year, finding your safeplaces, your safe people.
Yeah, go ahead, mom.
Janet Hale (56:37):
I wanted to say, when you were talking about the
work that she does, and Ithought she did her work today,
I know.
Candace Patrice (56:44):
I know I was like she's, you know.
Janet Hale (56:47):
So thank you for that.
Very appreciate it.
Tannaz Hosseinpour (56:54):
And of course, the listeners, I'm sure,
will love this.
Thank you both.
Thank you both for creating thespace.
It's been so lovely to shareand to talk and to have this
conversation, and I just want toleave, you know, the audience
with one thing and it'ssomething that I've been talking
a lot about with my clientsthis past week and that is your
(57:14):
presence matters, and if you'reon this earth that you know
you're everyone is born with aunique blueprint.
You are meant to be here toshare gifts, to share your
passions, and don't let anyexternal life stressor or
circumstance convince you thatyou do not have a place at the
(57:34):
table.
I think that now more than ever, with everything that's
happening, it's so important forpeople to really accept this
truth and I call it a truth,it's an objective truth that
your presence matters on thisearth.
So believe that, trust that,embody that and, yeah, don't
(57:58):
forget that thank you.
Candace Patrice (58:00):
How can people find you all of your things,
whatever it is that you have tooffer?
How can people get what youoffer and find you on social
medias, websites, anything?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (58:14):
Yeah, so my community is called Minutes on
Growth, so Minutes and then O-NGrowth.
I have my website.
On my website there's a lot offree resources.
I have a free ebook on nervoussystem regulation so powerful.
Please download it to kind ofhelp you get very simple, very
simple, simple tasks to help youstep into your parasympathetic
(58:36):
nervous system to activate thatcalmness, that groundedness we
need more than ever with all thetriggers and the stressors that
are coming at us.
They're really taking the timefor self, and nervous system
regulation is the foundation ofthat.
You'll find me on social mediaat Minutes on Growth.
I share daily content on how tobuild healthier relationships
with yourself, with others, andalso my podcast, minutes on
(58:58):
Growth.
So everywhere at Minutes onGrowth.
Candace Patrice (59:03):
You said your community Minutes on Growth.
Where is your community at?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (59:07):
So we have a community on Facebook it's
called Abundance and Love, andwe have the book club, the
ladies only book club.
So they're all mentioned on mywebsite.
You can go through it, see whatresonates.
The intention is really alwaysto create a safe space for
people to feel seen, heard,valued and understood.
(59:30):
So trying to create as manymediums whether it's one-on-one,
group work, community eventsthat makes that possible.
Candace Patrice (59:40):
Are you accepting any clients right now?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (59:42):
Yes, I am A little bit less as I'm starting
clinical work, but still yes.
Candace Patrice (59:52):
And how can people sign up for coaching with
?
Tannaz Hosseinpour (59:55):
you.
So on my website there is a tabwork with me, and then there's
a free consultation that Ihighly recommend everyone,
because at the end of the day,we have to see if we
energetically mesh together.
There's actually research onthis.
They were trying to see what'sthe best therapeutic modality
(01:00:16):
with effectiveness and theyfound that the therapeutic
alliance is the most importantcomponent.
So feeling safe with someonethat's the most important.
It's not about the tools theyuse.
Ultimately, it's that sense ofsafety.
So use that consultation to seeif we're a good fit and if you
(01:00:44):
feel safe with meOhmotivationcom.
Candace Patrice (01:00:48):
on Instagram, candicepatrice underscore.
Em.
On Facebook, essentialMotivation.
You can email me atCandiceFleming at
essentialmotivationcom.
We want to hear from you, yourfeedback.
If there's any topics that youwant us to touch on, if there's
(01:01:10):
anything you heard that youenjoyed that resonated with you,
we'd love to hear from you.
You can hit the text button andsend information, and you can
find Janet atHaleEmpowermentLLCcom.
Was there any last words youwanted to give Mom?
Janet Hale (01:01:31):
Just thank you to all of us for being able to come
together.
I love what she said about thetherapist, because it must be a
good match, because I'll fire atherapist in a minute I will
because, look, we have to getthis vibe thing going but I
(01:01:51):
really, really appreciate ushaving this space and creating a
space for the listeners to be apart of this intimate moment.
Candace Patrice (01:02:01):
Thank you, thank you both, thank you
listeners, and until next time.
Remember to love hard, forgiveoften and laugh frequent.
Goodbye.
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